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#maybe like 2 or 3 people here care about this but it makes me happy!!
vicsy · 13 hours
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Many people won't care about me writing about this but I must get this out.
I got into Formula 1 at the beginning of 2022. It coincided with the world as I knew it collapsing in on itself with record speed. I don't hide the fact that I am from Russia and I know most people would know what my country started in February that year. You watch your entire life plans getting crumpled like a piece of paper and thrown into the trash; the borders closing, companies leaving, the world turning back on you for the sole fact that you were born here. You watch yourself slowly inched into isolation.
And at the worst time in my entire life I managed to find this little gateway. It started with Lando, funnily enough, because I didn't know my way around the F1, so I picked someone with a Star Wars name. Irony is not dead. It wasn't long before I imprinted on Daniel like a fucking baby duckling.
Even through the mess that was his career in 2022, he brought me (and many others) so much joy. I was slowly navigating the world of racing and trying to make sense of it all. Daniel was there. The narratives were there. He is the reason I discovered the fanbase, the fandom, the reason I met so many people I get to call lifelong friends now. And I can't imagine my life without them anymore. At my lowest I found a community that made my life bearable and fun and bright; a community that made me want to create and write again. Daniel was the reason I broadened my horizons and became a Fernando fan, Lance fan, a fan of so many other drivers that I still have the joy to support even when Daniel won't be there, behind the wheel or barking in the garage.
You'd think that it's stupid to hang your entire life balance on one millionaire who drives cars in circles and won't ever know you exist. But to me Daniel became that balance when everything else was just plainly uncertain. I watched the news of the world events unfolding and that pit of dread was never ending. It was like having a rug pulled from underneath your feet every single day. Those first 2-3 months of the war felt the worst. Not like it changed but you get the idea. But I still had this little F1 world and this smiling weirdo to brighten my day.
The friends that I found, the happiness that I managed to scrap in the times of great uncertainty, all of this was tied to Daniel. He was, in a way, a lifeline that led me to a hobby that I've grown to love. It hurt me back, multiple times, but it also saved my sanity on so many occasions.
I know, in my heart, Daniel will bounce back. Who knows, maybe he'll be back one day, in 2026, or doing something related to F1. Or maybe he chooses to stay away forever. Me, personally? Of course I'd like to see him race. And I hate change. The change of it all hurts as much as the fact that Daniel never got a proper goodbye. I do hope he knows, somehow, how much he is loved.
And I'll forever cherish the fact that I got to see him live in Baku, that I stood in front row an listened to him explain his terrible pizza choices. I heard him say well done, Baku first hand. I'm glad I got there in time to get a signed card. I'll always have the warmest feelings towards Daniel. If not for him, my life would be emptier today.
oh, and, never forget – fuck 'em all.
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all-pacas · 3 days
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comprehensive ranking of all of chase's relationships and how Compelling i find them. this is objectively correct btw.
CHASE + HOUSE
fucked up father-son mentor-mentee employer-employee bullshit. chase's character development of "failing upward, but tragically" cannot be surpassed. he wants house to respect him and accidentally turns into him. house picks on chase constantly but chase is the one he turns to for schemes and problem solving and keeps giving the truth to. absolutely obsessed. their relationship is so unequal but crucially that's how they both like it.
2. CHASE + 13
the venn diagram of them is a perfect circle. they are cynical and sarcastic and traumatized and repressing it and masking with hyper sexuality and risky behavior and feeling dead inside. we make fun of chase for having no empathy or morals but he sees 13 hiding her trauma and falls over himself desperate to be her friend and therapist. of the "i could make them better/i could make them worse" dichotomy they actually can make one another better. the fact that they probably were attracted to one another but never fucked means so much to me actually: local dumb sluts respect their relationship too much to do the easy thing; become friends instead
3. CHASE + CAMERON
half of chase's development is directly because of cameron and that's actually so bleak. nothing and no one besides his parents has shaped him more. he becomes a dumb whore because he doesn't know how to recapture love and intimacy and wants it; cameron made him happy and he fucked it all up and decides it's easier to cope with if she never loved him at all, if it was unrequited from the start, because otherwise he has to blame himself for driving away the one person who has maybe, ever, loved him. i'm insane about this. it was always doomed but she's literally the stacy to his house, you can't have chase without her fingerprints all over his neck. they have such complimentary and opposing traumas. they both went "i bet this relationship will fix me, they'll fix me" and sat around waiting for it to happen. messiest lesbian breakup of all time
(from here down the rankings mean less, it's very much "top three……everyone else")
4. CHASE + PARK
i really don't care for how the show made them into a joke, hahahaha how cringe the weird girl has a crush on the pretty boy. i love how chase wanted nothing to do with park but somehow they turned into friends anyway. how he helps her when she's scared in 'chase,' how he gets to share her grandmother, how in a real way they're both isolated and feel like outsiders. also this:
PARK: It could just mean that we like each other. I'm weird, and you're pretty, but we connect. We feel safe. We trust each other.
how can you not! be obsessed! they trust one another. i don't ship it, but i want chase over for family dinners. he's just another cousin, it's fine. even once he's her boss.
5. CHASE + FOREMAN
this seems like it might be sarcastic but i'm serious: i love how they kind of never really become friends. like. they are friends. but it's a friendship of proximity, they've known one another forever, they drive one another insane and know exactly what buttons to push. neither of them would ever have picked the other as a friend, and in fact they spend the first half of the show openly hating one another (foreman more openly). they're so different, i'm not even sure they respect one another much. but they've been through everything together. it's like that adage - you don't have to like someone to love them. you don't have to like someone to be friends. (also, conflict is fun.)
6. CHASE + MASTERS
speaking of people who don't like one another!! this isn't a very deep relationship, but i do find it very funny how openly chase just couldn't stand her. he sees this baby version of his ex wife and is just like nope! bye! and yet he actually does pull his head out of his ass when it matters. i like him pushing her to leave house while she still can. i love that masters isn't afraid to call him out. her delivery of "you're a dumb whore" is maybe the funniest thing the show ever did. i like to imagine them meeting again maybe 5 years later and just laughing about it all.
7. CHASE + TAUB
they really don't have a deep relationship, but i like them both and i like that they just kind of get along. it's actually funny how easily chase slots in with the new team in s6. foreman was always trying to make sure the new kids knew he was Their Boss and chase is just immediately comfortable with them. i bet he babysits taub's daughters all the time, but he does absolutely charge for it.
8. CHASE + KUTNER
IN MY HEART THEY ARE NUMBER FIVE OR SIX, but they basically never interact. but god they would have gotten along so well. like you'd think chase would be all cynical and wary like he often gets, but then kutner would let slip 1 (one) superstition or mild conspiracy theory or mention aliens and they'd just be at it for the next eight hours. they'd hang out and play video games and watch soccer and plan weekend hiking trips to search for cryptids. 13 could tag along. we could have had it all. never forget the time that chase blackmailed kutner into 30% of his business profits.
9. CHASE + WILSON
they never!! talked!! this is entirely based on their incredible "let's fuck house over together" dynamic in private lives. the implication that when wilson needs info on house, he turns to chase. the brief glimpse of wilson trying to help recent divorcee chase out. he invited him blind dating. this dynamic had so much potential.
10. CHASE + ADAMS
i really was not convinced by s8's "oho they have sexual tension," especially since it was always told to us, usually by house, and never actually shown. they had occasionally interesting talks about their very different world views, but i don't think that makes for romantic/sexual tension. sorry adams.
11. CHASE + AMBER
we really only see them interact once but it could have been an interesting dynamic to explore! amber thinks he's all cynical and bitter and Out For Revenge, and chase's perception skills kick in on her, and amber isn't wrong but she's reading him as more cynical as he probably actually is. this could have been interesting to explore. i think chase would lowkey hate her but definitely admire her.
12. CHASE + CUDDY
another even rarer dynamic. they had one cute scene in s7. i feel like early seasons chase was constantly trying to kiss her ass. kind of funny how cameron and foreman get lots of scenes with her and wilson and chase is just like la de dah the only person i wanna talk to is house
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yorkesteins · 2 years
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i didn’t finish the post-canon fix it i was working on before dean’s birthday like i’d planned bc of who i am as a person but posting this lil family bit i’m obsessed with because it’s his BIRTHDAY and he is ALIVE AND THRIVING as a HUSBAND AND FATHER:
They usually drive down the mountain a bit to Burnsville on the weekends. It ain’t that big, but it’s novelty enough for a five year old, and they’ve got a hardware store with a garden center. When Sam and Eileen come by, they’ll take a longer drive to Boone or Asheville and do the tourist thing (which apparently means buy Jack a goddamn seven dollar milkshake from that yuppie chocolate place, according to certain semi-fallen angels mooching off Dean’s hard earned fraudulent credit cards, but whatever), but Saturdays in Burnsville are family time all the same. 
They always do the hardware store first, because it takes the longest. Dean has already grabbed the new faucet for the kitchen sink, but Cas is taking his sweet time in the garden center, agonizing over the fertilizer. Jack, in some unholy combination of a kindergartener’s boredom and an ongoing adjustment from the loss of adult coordination when he downsized, has already knocked over three ceramic flower pots and two of those weird little six packs of marigolds. The flowers seem okay, and only one of the pots was a little chipped on the rim, so Dean surreptitiously shoves it behind a couple his kid’s flailing limbs haven’t gotten a hold of yet.
“C’mon, kiddo,” he sighs, holding out his hand. The little bit of irritation that’d been building up slides away as Jack’s palm smacks against his own, automatic and trusting. “Let’s go to the bookstore while your dad finishes up.”
Jack bounces on the balls of his Converse clad feet. Dean hadn’t even known they made Converse that small. Jack’s got them in four colors now, because the kid’s got a killer pout and Cas is a pushover.
“New books?” he asks, hopefully. The edges of that killer pout begin to form. Dean crosses his arms, because he ain’t a pushover. 
“We’ll see.”
“Four? I got four last time.”
“Three,” Cas corrects, idly. Dean turns to look at him; Cas’s brow furrows intensely as he inspects a container of Miracle Grow for Fruits and Vegetables. “He got three last time. But he’s already read them all.”
“You’re a pushover,” Dean says, for the umpteenth time in the past month at least. Cas looks up, finally, and smiles placidly. Dean sighs. “Two, Jack. We can get two, and that’s my final offer.”
“Okay, two!” Jack says, head bobbing in agreement. Dean silently resigns himself to the inevitability of leaving with three new books. 
The bookstore is small, and it smells like a small, used bookstore–undertones of old, musty pages and the warmth of an old heater working against the last of the early spring chill. Jack makes a beeline for the middle of the third aisle and immediately plops his little butt down. From what Dean can tell, he’s meticulously debating the merits of every Magic Treehouse book they’ve got in stock. Like father, like son. 
Dean grins a little to himself as he picks idly through the Staff Recommends section up front. 
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mayspicer · 5 months
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Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
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starkwlkr · 6 months
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i wait for you | sebastian vettel
part 1 part 2
this is the last part in this mini series!! thanks for reading <3 some lines are taken from the movie babylon :) (babylon, you will always be famous)
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading! you can read it here!
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yourusername hi, i would like to start by saying thank you for all the kind messages i’ve been receiving over the past couple days. this is my only account on any social media. i know it’s been years since you’ve heard from me so here’s an update:
as of last week, i am now divorced and living happier than ever. i do a lot of reading and baking. i still think about my time on the track and all the wonderful people i met.
until next time, take care.
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TIME SKIP TO ABU DHABI 2022
you weren’t sure if you made the right decision, yet here you were in the aston martin garage about to watch sebastian’s last race. the aston martin team made sure photographers weren’t in your face with their cameras, which you thanked them for. yeah, your former job had paparazzi following you almost everywhere but you had gotten used to the quietness.
you hadn’t seen sebastian all day, it was killing you inside. you felt like this was a bad decision, but before you could leave the aston martin garage, you saw sebastian enter with britta by his side. you heard him speaking to her, but he stopped once he spotted you.
britta noticed the look sebastian gave you. it was like seeing two teenagers in love. “i’ll leave you two alone.” she said then left.
sebastian watched as you played with the ring on your finger. it was a habit he noticed in 2010 and somehow you never changed. “we can go in my driver’s room if you’d like. it’s more private.”
“yeah, i’d like that.” you reply. together, you and sebastian walked to his driver’s room.
several people from the aston martin team were secretly rooting for you two, it was clear that they knew about your history. even if they were big fans of you, they didn’t walk up to you to ask for a photo, not when you were with sebastian on the most important night of his life.
you finally made it to his driver’s room. it was small, but it was just perfect for you and sebastian to have a conversation in. you and sebastian sat on the tiny bed. “are you nervous?” you asked.
“more excited actually. it really is nice that you’re here. thank you for coming.” he said.
“i didn’t think you would want me here.”
“why?”
you looked at him. there he was staring at you with his beautiful blue eyes. “i thought you hated me all these years.”
“i could never hate you, y/n. i never stopped loving you even when you told me you were engaged, when i found out you said i do to someone else.” he confessed. “i’ve carried this love for you in my heart for many years. but you were happy.”
“i was happy . . then he broke my heart and i gave him the ring back.” you replied. “i realized I didn’t want that life with him . . . because i want that life with you and i know it all seems so sudden but it’s always been you.”
in that moment, seemed to stand still as he processed the weight of her words. he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of hope blossom within him—a hope that, against all odds, maybe, just maybe, they could finally be together.
you could feel a tear run down your cheek. “god, i’m sorry. i dumped all this on you before your last race—”
then she felt sebastian’s lips on hers. as their lips met, the world seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of them.
for you, it was a revelation—a confirmation of the love you had always felt but never dared to acknowledge it. for sebastian, it was a homecoming—a return to the one person who had always held his heart captive, even when you belonged to another.
their moment had been interrupted by a knock on the door then by sebastian’s father, norbert vettel, asking if he was ready yet.
“i’ll be out in a second.” sebastian replied. he turned to look at you. “i am considering that a good luck kiss.”
“you don’t need luck, you’re sebastian vettel.” you playfully rolled your eyes.
“well whenever i’m with you, i always feel lucky.”
and with that, you and sebastian exited his driver’s room.
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SEB’S LAST RACE
you were feeling lots of emotions. you watched as sebastian finished his post race interview with jenson. you watched from a monitor inside the aston martin garage, you could see the sadness in sebastian’s eyes. you knew the feeling all too well.
“go meet him.” norbert said. “he needs you right now.”
“but—”
“go.” he assured you.
so you walked to the pit lane since sebastian was already making his way back to the garage. once he spotted you, he smiled. you made it clear that now you didn’t care if you were photographed, all you wanted was to be with sebastian.
“i really want to kiss you right now.” sebastian said when he walked up to you. many photographers and journalists were crowded around you, making sure to capture the moment between you two.
“then do it.”
and then, without another word, he pulled her in for a kiss. as his lips met yours, you felt a rush of warmth flood your entire being. as they finally pulled away, your eyes met in a silent understanding. sebastian took your hand and led you to back to the garage where his team was waiting for him.
“i’m so proud of you.” you whispered to him.
“you won’t be saying that when i’m bothering you constantly now that i’ll be around you more.” he joked.
“and i’ll be fine with that.” you reply with a smile.
sebastian turned to face you. he knew it was still early, but he always kept his promises. “one day, i’m going to marry you. i’m going to make you so happy everyday, okay? it’s my only job.”
hearing sebastian’s words filled you with a sense of comfort, joy and reassurance. you suddenly felt more alive and complete than ever before.
“i love you, more deeply than i ever thought possible.” you reply.
and suddenly, everything felt right in the world.
@woozarts @hc-dutch @lightdragonrayne @multiplefandomwritings @jggykhug09090 @neivivenaj @kissesandmartinis @barnestatic @avythef1addict @sam-is-lost @dampcelery0294 @shineforever19 @c-losur3 @lifeless-firefly @horsiegek @ares10156 @purplephantomwolf
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froggoon · 7 months
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She's my Angel I Five Hargreeves x Reader
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⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚
Post Apocalypse Au! Pt2 Pt3
WC: ~3,258 Warnings/Tags: Sexual Tension, Mentions of Abuse, Agedup!Five, Mentions of previous trauma, 18+
Summary: The Umbrella Academy saved the world, the Commission is no longer after them, the moon is in one piece and everyone’s lives start to fall back into place. Five attempts to start his life over again when Klaus brings home a girl with unusual shadow powers. ⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ��ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。
˚
The Apocalypse was over and Five Hargreaves did what he did best, drink and cope. The first few weeks of freedom he tried things he had missed early on in his childhood. It started when Viktor took him shopping for a new, more appropriate wardrobe, that someone who looked his age would wear. Then he would often visit the park just to admire the beauty of places that were once a baron landscape. And sometimes he just spent his time reading catching up on what he missed in the last few years.
But old habits die hard when you spend 54 years alone and the next 2 weeks desperate to save yourself and save your family. Maybe Klaus was right when he called the apocalypse his drug because, for a while, it was all he’d ever know.
Five hadn’t slept well in a long time and despite his newfound freedom without the looming feeling of impending doom. He would find himself waking up at 4 am to check his window and just to see if everything was real.
The Academy had been empty for a bit, the first week his family had stayed back to collect themselves, celebrate, and appreciate one another but slowly their lives fell back into place. Allison went back to Claire wanting to get back her career and her daughter back. Luther wanted to find his independence and took a small helping from his inheritance to live on his own. Diego and Lila had also moved out in hopes of continuing to grow their relationship and perhaps find happiness in normalcy. Viktor, now confident in himself wanting to explore the world more began traveling and meeting new people. To Five it felt like everyone had moved on, except him. He had been the one to jump through time, and now he felt like he was stuck in it.
However this morning, his silent coffee and breakfast time was interrupted but a surprisingly sober Klaus barging through the door with a girl no taller than 5’3 who looked as if she had been dragged through the mud and a forest in his arms.
“I didn’t know where to bring her she ran into me frantic and couldn’t speak much,”
“There wasn’t anyone chasing her so I have no idea where she came from and she’s in pretty bad shape.”
Klaus looked panicked, he felt bad for the beat-up girl in his arms but what could he do besides bring her to the place he knew could help her best.
Grace and Pogo immediately took action, bringing the girl into the spare room to care for her wounds.
“What makes you think you can just bring random people in here? She could be dangerous?”
Five arched his eyebrow at Klaus’s behavior. He wasn’t a trusting man but he trusted his brother’s intuition and the girl genuinely looked like she needed help.
“I couldn’t just leave her on the road. I’m not a bad person Five. There’s something different about her I swear.”
Five looked distrustful at what his brother was saying.
“Well, we’ll just have to see when she wakes up.”
The two went back to doing their own things in the Academy waiting for you to wake up.
————————-3 days later————————
The sun shone brightly in the room you stayed at. Your eyes slowly opened, blinking harshly to adjust to the shining light. You had no idea where you were, this new place was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Warm wood furniture decorated the walls, and the mattress you slept on seemed more comfy, soft, and warmer than your old hay-filled cot. Unsurprisingly your wounds ached but were clean nevertheless. You jumped when the door swung open to reveal a monkey? no an ape? in a suit. "Ah you're finally awake, Ill let the others know"
"I am Pogo by the way, please rest, we don't want your stitches reopening." Maybe it was the exhaustion catching up to you, but you listened to his words and laid back, staring at the large high ceilings waiting to see if whoever brought you here would be your like your old doctors. Back downstairs Pogo noticed Five pacing around in the living room. "Any troubles worrying you?" "Yes that girl, I can't find any information about her, she had no ID, no name card, I even looked around the area trying to track back where she came from, and nothing." Five glanced around, more cautious of his surroundings
"What if the commission sent her?" "This is not good, not good at all"
And with a quick turn, he teleported to the room of which his unwelcome guest occupied. A flash of blue interrupted your daydreams when a boy about your age in a green flannel, cargo pants, with slightly long side parted hair entered your space. Besides appearing out of nowhere he looked almost normal, but that didn't stop you from being scared. Shivering you pushed yourself back on the bed as far as you could to try to get away from him. Sensing your fear Five held out his hands as a way to show you some form of peace. Lowering one hand he slowly approached you. But the closer he came the farther back you shuffled. Something wasn't right Five thought. You were terrified of him, what had happened to you to cause you to be in such a state.
Hey Im not going to hurt you, I don't know who you are but Im not going to hurt you." Five could see that you weren't budging so he reached into his pocket and pulled out a hazelnut toffee-flavored candy. He wasn't a big fan of sweets but had kept some from his last visit to a local coffee shop. "Here you must be a little hungry, it's good to see." He popped it in his mouth to show her that it was safe, not a trick. Slowly you reached out and touched his hand, grabbing the little treat, unwrapping it before letting the gooey sweet melt on your tongue. Five smiled at your reaction. "See? It was good." He thought you looked adorable with big doe eyes waiting to see if he had any more. He reached into his right pocket and pulled out another handle full of candies. "Ill give you one each time you answer a question. Can you do that for me?" You nodded slowly. "Okay, can you tell me your name?" "Angel" you pointed to yourself "Five" you pointed to him. You had heard Klaus shouting his name when you entered the house. "Angel? Do you have a last time?" "Five. Five Hargreeves" He pointed to himself. "Angel" You repeated. Okay maybe you didn't have a last name that was fine, at least he had gotten a name. He gave you another candy and watched you excitedly open it. "Okay Angel, another question where did you come from? Who or what were you running from?" "Doctor" you responded looking down. "What Doctor? What did he do to you." You felt like you should have known better than to trust the boy in front of you, but he looked so earnest so sweet, that you decided to show him your secret. Opening your fist a ball of shadows appeared in your hand before you tossed it into the air letting whatever light was in the room dissipate. Five knew what this had suggested. Whoever took you, held you captive, and experimented on you. Perhaps they were trying to make you into one of the unlucky 43. Another candy was handed to you.
“Show me more” Five demanded. You blinked at him slowly before he put another candy in your hand. “Show me.”
You looked at him and brought both your hands up into the air. He watched shadows run from the ground into the room and swirl around you. It appeared you could summon shadows at your will and control them.
“Good girl” and another candy as placed in your hand. "Tell me, Angel, do you know where or who it was? Do you know the name of the commission?" You stared at him blankly not understanding what he said. Before Five could ask any more questions Klaus had burst through the door. "My Angel! You are okay !" As he rushed towards you to grab your face. Stunned you jolted back from his presence. "Angel, that's why she called herself that, it's not her name, it’s what you called her!" Five went to smack Klaus in the back of the head when his hand was stopped by a shadow. "No hurt, Klaus friend" With heart eyes, Klaus dove into Angel's arms "LOOK AT MY ANGEL PROTECTING ME!!" With the gentleness of a newborn deer, Angel reached out to Klaus with a small sweet in her hand. "Candy?" "For me? Of course, Angel thank you!" Rolling his eyes at the scene Five teleported to his room to think. Where had this girl come from she had no name could barely speak and had a dark power with unknown consequences. Angel clad in Umbrella Academy uniform, and Klaus were in the living room when a flash appeared in the doorway. "Cinco! Where are you off to?" "Library I need to do some research." But just before he would reach for the doorknob a body was flung into his back. "Here take Angel with you, she needs a new set of clothes, can't have her wearing this uniform, you know all about that wouldn't you?" Klaus said as he shoved Angel forward. "I don't have time, I'm not a babysitter." Five expressed as he grabbed your arms and pushed you back. "Five...mad?" You looked up at Five with tears in your eyes. Reaching out to his face with his hand you softly pet his cheek. "Five...happy. Happy"
The time travelers face softened at the kindness you showed while trying to console him.
“I’m sorry Angel, yes Five is happy. Come on let’s go.”
He grabbed your hand ignoring the feeling of his heart when your soft skin wrapped around his.
————————-In the Car—————————
“Alright Angel, as cute as you look in the uniform we have to get you some normal clothes.”
Five looked over at you, but you were looking out the window. His green eyes passed over the cuts on your legs and the faint but visible bruises on your neck. It wondered him how someone could do this to you, turn a girl who seemed like an Angel into a shadow user. He parked the car at Gimble's before flashing to your side of the door to open it, Five was still a gentleman after all. "Okay now Angel, we're here to buy you some new clothes." You nodded your head to show you understood him and hopped out of the car excited to see the world around you. Being locked up for so long you had forgotten what the outside world looked like. Today the sky was blue with warm gusts of winds filling the air. People and families were seen chattering about. You reached out to grab Five's arm and pulled him closer to the store. Five chucked at your childlike antics, letting himself be whisked away by you. You dragged him to the dress section; some of the kinder doctors had given you books to look at to pass the time, many of them being princess books. There were cute frilly dresses that caught your eye immediately. Rushing forward you grabbed 3 dresses that might have suited you. With a sigh Five grabbed your shoulders wanting to tell you to go find some more practical everyday clothes. But after seeing the glimmer in your eye as if you found the most priceless thing...he couldn't bear take that away from you. "Come on Princess, let's go try them on." He ushered you to the changing room and waited outside. As he turned his back you grabbed his hand, but Five had yanked it back at the unexpected contact. He wasn't completely used to physical touch yet.
Ignoring this you grabbed his hand once more and tried to take him into the dressing room with you. "No Angel I can't go with you, just put on the dresses inside and Ill wait out here."
You had refused to let go of his hand. With another sign he allowed himself to be pulled into the confined space of the changing room. You quickly shimmied out of the uniform skirt and tie throwing it into a random corner. Five's face turned a deep scarlet red, although he was an older man the sight of your small and barely clothes body was enough to make him shift in his pants. Before he could embarrass himself any further he blinked out into the waiting room fanning his face as if he ran a marathon. There were small warning signs in his brain, don't get too attached, she doesn't know better, please don't get a boner right now. Trying to collect himself he put his hands in his face wanting to be anywhere but here right now. You interrupted his train of thought when you came out bouncing with a big smile on your face. The dress you picked out was a cute white summer dress that was white had thick straps tied on your shoulders. The skirt part stopped right above your knees and flared out with a twirl. You looked absolutely adorable, an Angel who wielded the power of a devil. "You look...beautiful" Five muffled through his hand. "Beautiful?" You questioned. "Yes you, Angel, you are beautiful." And as if your smile couldn't get any bigger, you ran and jumped into Five, his arms slowly wrapping around your frame to prevent you from falling.
"Five! Beautiful!" You smiled and pointed at him. Your fingers had graced his cheeks into a smile. Pointing at his dimple "Five! Beautiful" you repeated. "Oh, you think I'm beautiful Angel?" Five couldn't help but also feel happy and continue smiling, something about you felt like a breath of fresh air. His last few weeks had been nonstop paranoia and feeling the effects of an identity crisis, but hearing your laughter and seeing you call him beautiful, it felt as if he was actually living again. However, that didn't stop the nagging fear in the back of his mind of where you came from and what had happened to you. Perhaps it was the assassin in him that just couldn't let him...enjoy a moment. "Come on Angel, let’s get the rest of the dresses and pay. We need to head to the library before it closes." You nodded your head and skipped off to grab the rest of your dresses and clothes. You and Five stood at the cashier waiting to pay. "That will be 45.78." Five pulled out a 50 and felt your head lean on his shoulder. "Five, thank you." You looked up at him with a mischievous gleam in your eye. As he was retrieving his change you leaned up and placed your soft lips on the corner of his mouth. "Five happy?" He looked down at you and blushed "Yes Five is very happy." ————————The Library—————————- You were sat in Five's lap flipping through a picture book while he was doing research. Unfortunately, there was almost no information about any kind of suspicious activities in the area where they had found you or even how you even got to the city. Five had to expand his research on places that might have to do with experimental tests but with so little access he was found himself at a dead end. "Nothing! Absolutely Nothing!" Five yelled before slamming his notebook on the table. You jumped in his lap and covered your ears, eyes filling with heavy teardrops waiting to fall. "Shit Angel Im sorry come here." He cooed wrapping his arms around you for the fourth time today. Five pressed a kiss to the top of your hair and inhaled slowly. You smelt like a blooming meadow and a hint of cinnamon. Closing his eyes he rested his head on yours. It wasn't been often when he felt a peace like this, heck he didn’t even remember the last time he felt calm, other than when he was drinking or passed out after a mission. Your eyelashes fluttered on his neck as you began to press small kisses on his jawline. "Come on Angel what are you doing?" "Make Five happy. Kiss you" You mumbled and continued leaving marks on his neck and jaw. Five clenched his fists around you "Angel if you keep this us I'm not going to be able to hold back." Five groaned as he pulled you closer into his lap. And with his last bit of resolve, he blinked you guys back into the car. "Come on Angel let's go home." He kissed your cheek slightly to assure you he wasn't mad and drove the two of you back. ————————the academy———————--- "Mi hermano and Angel ! You guys are back" Klaus shouted from the couch he was currently lying on. You ran into the living room jumping in front of Klaus to show off your dress.
"My cutie Angel! You look so pretty!"
Klaus then swept you off your feet and into a fit of giggles. Five, who had been observing the scene from the bar was actively trying to fight off the green monster that was creeping up his heart. "Leave her alone Klaus we had a long day. Come on Angel let's have your shower and get ready for bed." It was obvious you needed to be cared for and Five had already begun to assume the role. Pulling out some extra pajamas Five had in his wardrobe he handed them to you before showing you the bathroom. "Shower here and come back to my room when you are done okay?" You nodded back and went into the bathroom. With a sign Five flopped on his back in bed wondering more about you. How could someone he just met cause him to feel such a way? Maybe it was his messed up time-traveling brain that was causing these emotions but deep down he knew he had a hidden attraction to you. He began to think more about your powers. You couldn't be part of the 43 because you were too young but you also showed an understanding of your abilities and more control than Viktor did when he first found out about his. Five would have to talk to you after you shower about your abilities. Small footsteps padded outside his room before stopping. The door swung open and there you stood wrapped in only a small towel Grace had given you. Five green eyes turned wide as you skipped into his room.. You had turned to grab the pajamas he had left you on the bed and dropped your towel. Five sat up instantly, his eyes wandered over the curve of your breasts and the plumpness of your backside. Being in the apocalypse and focused on getting back home to his family never allowed him much time for romance or women, besides Delores. You stood up as bare as the day you were born, nipples perked up at the cold air and you put the silk top and bottom on. Now properly clothed you turned to Five who was staring at you with eyes that rivaled a burning sun. In a blink, he was in front of you grabbing your waist with such a force it felt like you would disappear if he let go. Bringing his lips to your neck he kissed gently and dragged his face to meet your eyes. Soft despreate lips met plump shy ones as you and Five melted into each other. The kiss grew hungry, more desperate, both parties missing the feel of one another. The two of you fell back onto the bed with Five on top of you. Two souls both isolated from the world finally finding solstice in one another. All the questions Five had for you were gone from his mind, the only thing replacing it was the thought of how your body felt against his. A small hand reached into the front of Five's pants. "I want to help Five" You had whispered into his ear. It was going to be a long night.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ Authors note : I kinda of wrote this on a whim in the middle of the night. I’d want to make this into a full series although and go really in depth about Angel who she is and how she got her powers and I defiantly want to bring back the rest of the Hargreaves but I'm not sure when Ill have another creative burst.
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thedivinetarot · 30 days
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He said to be cool and I know he means it
How do you view men?
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☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?
1) Close your eyes.
2) Clear your mind
3) Take a deep breathe.
4) Ask the question in your head and the picture you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Note:
- First thing is Thank you guys for 100 follower. I'm so happy that our family is growing fast. I'm also grateful that such a wonderful souls are following me here on tumblr, may God bless you❤.
- In this reading we are going to dig into your deep subconscious mind on your views of men.
- This reading is going to help you at where you stand in your opinions and views towards men.
- Also it will help you discover the hidden parts of your subconscious mind and your behavior towards men.
- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest.
- Pile three can be triggering for some, so if you are not comfortable reading it then don't.
- This reading can't substitute any psychiatrist help. So if you have a problem you can ask for a professional help.
Stay safe ❤
Arya
☆ This reading well be divided into three questions:
1) Your past relationships with men.
2) Your subconscious beliefs about them.
3) How does all of that affect you currently?
Pile 1 - Walking Sylvia
Your past relationships with men:
I see that this pile held into a connection that was not meant for them. I see you getting attached to someone you thought it was your soulmate or twin flame but it wasn't really the one. I see also that you kept persistent and stubborn especially in front of others. It is like you bet with your friends or people around you that he is the one but everyone know that he is not. If this is not the case I see that you were dating or in a relationship with someone who is considered a safe option but wasn't really that good for you as a person. You might have your planets square their planets in synastry chart. I see that your first role models (Your caregivers or parents) wasn't really that good either. They might stayed together but they clearly should've been divorced too long ago. I see that you hated the dynamic between them and you always wondered if you'll get the same or not. And now you look back at the men you dated and feel cringe? I don't know pile one. Maybe you feel nostalgic to the feeling but not the person. I see that you are someone who prefers predictability over getting out of your comfort zone. So, you might dated multiple "safe options" to not get triggered by the new or unpredictable people. You might even rejected the idea of traditional role in the relationships, like the dom-sub or feminine-masculine or the men who provide financially. You also might dated people who have 50/50 mindset or feminine boys. Or boys/men who are not considered attractive but they were a safe option for you.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
Ooh pile one, I think your subconscious belief about men is that they are a disappointment. I see that you might have a male caregiver who didn't make you feel safe enough to be in your feminine energy. This caregiver might made you feel like you are not enough; physically, mentally, or in general. This man made you feel worthless and no one would really care for you. So, you grew up trying to earn this attention by being hyper vigilant in your relationships with men. You might give and give too much even for the options that is considered "safe". And you might overthink everything you do or say around men. You might say "Damn why did I say that!" Alot Or "Do I look ugly or deformed for him" because he didn't look at you, after each interaction. And if not, some people in this group wore an iron mask in front of men. You wouldn't show emotions or any expression around them. But deep inside you are a little girl screaming and crying. People in this group might have self worth problems. You might overdo your make up, overdress yourself etc. This subconscious belief kept you stuck in the same old patterns and made you superman in the relationship with men. As I said before; you might got mad or angry at the traditional roles of the male and female relationships. And tried to be the initiative person in most interactions you had with men. Another subconscious belief is you'll be miserable alone? Pile one loneliness is something normal in this generation, everyone feels lonely but please don't let this loneliness affect your relationships. Don't go for good guys or "safe options" if you feel like they are no good for you.
How does all of that affect you currently?
So, all of this affect you currently by isolating you from romantic interactions. You might be someone who has been alone for too long. I see that you took this period of loneliness as a reflection period and reevaluated your old relationships. Like right now you are discovering what you truly value and want in romantic relationships. I see that this period of isolation and loneliness is slowly going to be over. I'm not seeing any romantic offers coming to you, but definitely I'm seeing you are slowly putting yourself out there. I also see that you are working hard and being persistent with yourself. You might just moved out from your parents house or wanting to settle down on your own or wanting to live in another place or change your location. I see you now being more in your feminine energy. You might have rejected that idea before but now you are slowly accepting the fact that you are good on your own but a good company won't hurt. You might be putting yourself out there, and getting to know people with no strings attached. I see that you are enjoying yourself truly and feeling calm and collected more than before. You might started to realize that you need to be more assertive of your current life. You might be someone who say "I'm the master of my own fate now". So, yeah you might also realized that your life needs you more than you need anyone.
Pile 2 - Sylvia laying on the towel
Your past relationships with men:
I see that this piles collective are mostly happily married women or new bride. I see that you either got married to the love of your life and feeling so happy and excited to spend the rest of your life with them or you have a happy marriage and a loving spouse in general. I see that you also might be pregnant with a baby girl and this girl will have water placements? (Pisces, cancer or scorpio). Anyways this pile’s energy towards men is so reassuring honestly. I don't really see that you have a bad relationships with men. You might be someone who is considered beautiful or pretty by social standards so any man who dated you wished that he could marry you right away. I see that you have a traditional relationship with men. You might be someone who date for marriage and if not then you might date for potential rather than money. Or you might want to start dating for marriage. I see that men always crush on you and they feel this urge to protect you and make you happy. I see that you are the type that make any man want marriage and other stuff. Like if a player met you and got the chance to know you, he might suddenly want to marry and have kids right away. You have this energy of "I'm the perfect wife". You might be a great option for men who want to settle down. They see the potential in you, the kids, the home you'll make. I guess this pile didn't really face bad things regard dating or perhaps most people in this pile are already married to their twin flame or soulmate. I see a lot of love and happiness (I'm so happy for you guys🥺).
Your subconscious belief about men:
This pile is a complete sweetheart to be honest. I see that you see men as great leaders and as someone who is going to guide you through your life. You might have a lot of taurus or libra placements or just your feminine energy is quite balanced. Also I feel that your sacral chakra is balanced or a little hyperactive? You might really care about men's pepe size? Omg pile two I feel turned on for no reason, do you perhaps fantasize about sex a lot? You might view sex as something sacred or extremely important for your well being. You might feel or like the sex between you and your partner a lot. I don't know why I got into all of these sexual stuff all of sudden. But I feel like subconsciously you might view men as sexually satisfying? You might had a great sexual companions or you just like that in general. I also see that you like assertive and wise men, men with a great vision of the future. Sex and men is something important in pile two's life. You might have the lover archetype? You can search that btw. But generally your subconscious thoughts about men are good I don't really see something bad, perhaps there's a thing but it is not considered bad. You might get attached to your partner? Perhaps, you might get a little obsessed with your partner. Not too much just a little. Or you like depending on them a lot. There's nothing wrong with being dependent but don't let that affect you whole being.
How does all of that affect you currently?
Okay, so I do see that this pile is very dedicated to their partner. I see that you might be someone who always keep in check of their partner's needs and wants. You also work simultaneously on making their partner satisfied and happy. I also see a very confident energy from you pile 2. You may be very confident in who you are, you may not be just beautiful but also with good personality. I see that you are nurturing and sweet when it comes to your family and partner. You make them feel comfortable and appreciated. I see that your spouse or partner feel on cloud 9 with you. They feel grateful for meeting you and keeping you in their life. I also see that you are someone who cares a lot for children. You take extra mile to help them and make them feel seen and heard. You might also have the mother archetype as a secondary function within your personality (search for the archetype if you don't know them). I see that unlike some people you chose you partners wisely and above all you stick for them through thick and thin. You are a marriage material pile two, may happiness always stay on your side.
Pile 3 - Sylvia on the beach
Past relationships with men:
Pile three I see that you are obsessed with manifesting your SP? Or you might try to manifest someone back into your life? I see you trying to manifest either an Ex or or someone whom your relationship with wasn't good for you but you thought it was so good. I pulled a confirmation card and and yes; you and this person might have distance between you two. Okay in this pile I am picking up on three energies, the first one talk about manifesting an Ex back. The second is manifesting someone with a specific traits and the third energy is for LGBTQ? I think some people in this pile kinda prefer women. I see that this pile have dated both gender or you were in a marriage with a man but it turned out to be so stressful for you, I also see that this pile might have realized that they prefer another gender? Like you might be someone who has been dating men for ages but then you crushed on a woman and now you are dating. I honestly see that scenario too, another scenario is that this pile didn't really get along with people from the opposite gender so you grow up liking women (the same gender as you) or even becoming a lesbian? I understand pile three (men are stressful). You might be a fire sign (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) or Air sign (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), or you have those placements in your chart. I see also a strong Gemini energy too so you might be someone who is bisexual or gay in general. Or someone who really doesn't care about dating any kind of gender. I don't know why this came in so strongly. But feel free to take what resonates okay pile three?.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
Woah, the cards kept jumping like crazy. This pile’s energy is so strong. Anyways I see that you have many toxic subconscious belief about men pile three. You think that men are a pure disappointment and that you need to keep your relationship with them as professional as possible. I think people in this pile might work in a field that requires them to always interact with men and if not. You might work in a teaching field or you might be a teacher yourself. I see that you have fantasized about weddings and wearing the perfect white dress but not to a man. You might like the idea of marriage but not marriage itself. I also see that some of your parents weren't really in a good marriage (financially) so you grow up in poverty or poor. I see that men aren't really interesting in your own lens pile three. I see also that you might be afraid to get in a relationship with a man because you are scared of getting used and left out. This pile seriously need to heal from abandonment wound, ooh I get it now! You might be someone who got abandoned by their male caregiver? I see that you might never met your real father or your father have left you in the dark so you grow up poor and fatherless (I'm so sorry pile three, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings). I see also that you might fear men deep down and fear being vulnerable with them? So you chose women as romantic interest (there’s nothing wrong with that). Anyways, you might have developed a close relationship with female friends and caregiver in general. So, you grew up rejecting men and not truly liking them. The moral story for this pile is to heal your abandonment wound and forgive yourself pile three, I'm getting this image of a girl doing destructive behaviors so she can never feel the pain of abandonment inside.
How does all of that affect you currently?
I see that you guys have a very unrealistic expectations from others and your own self. Even in the same gender relationship, you might be putting your standards so high that no one really can meet them. So, people might have called you picky with whom you date. This is funny idk where it came from but I think men called you a gold-digger because you have standards pile three (I respect that sm). I see that you enter a relationship with high expectations; at first both parties (you and your partner) at some point were able to meet them but then boom, you break up because you both have different views and well, expectations. I see that this pile can literally move on in a blink of an eye. You guys have a very chaotic energy, that's what I'm feeling. Also you might be a serial dater? Or you might be someone who is generous with giving or don't give at all but I see it is coming from you pile three especially in the money matter. You might be a little immature in the heart matter. I see that you might always get disappointed with how things are in your romantic relationships. I'm picking up on someone who's on a roller-coaster emotionally. I think you guys need to reflect and on your values and learn the lessons from your previous relationships, because it is literally causing you a lot of destruction in your life. Try to get in the hermit mode for a couple of months, try solo dating, reflect on your own values and what you truly want and appreciate in a partner and one day you'll be able to see the light coming in and you'll definitely find someone who will make you happy. And if not you have yourself, and as the wizard Liz said "You have you, you’ll never leave you" and I think it is beautiful. Try to watch her videos on YT she is a gem❤. God bless you pile three, take care of yourself.
Pile 4 - Sylvia Smiling
Your past relationship with men:
Okaaayyy, so I do think this pile are my lone wolf pile. This pile’s energy is soooo detached, especially from reality. I see that you haven't really had any real or physical connection to men. You might be a virgin because I feel like you never truly got engaged sexually with men before. You might be single since birth and the only interaction you had with men was a faraway crush, you don't care about real men, you are the girl who crush on fictional characters. I see that you are in your head most of the time. You fantasize about fictional men and /or your crush. You might be someone who is too shy to date or even have a romantic connection with someone even if they are interested. This pile gives off the damsel in distress vibe. Want to be saved by her fictional man rather than real one. You have a strong personality pile 4, you might be so independent in real life but when it comes to your imagination? Holy moly, you are so in love with fictional men and you want to be saved by them. I'm hearing "A man that do not exist", And if you are not like that you might be limerent on someone, yes, you might be a virgin and never dated but you had a crush on someone and it grew into limerence. Because I see that you are detached from the situation but in your head you are living and breathing this fantasy. Perhaps if you suspect having limerence you can read about it because it is not a crush. Crushes are short termed but limerence can take years to wear off. You might be even hesitant to talk to that person and if you do I don't think much really happen between you two. You are giving me the vibe of that one movie of Audry Hepburn, the movies name was Sabrina you can watch it if you want. It literally describes you perfectly. You might be also so sophisticated and diplomatic with males in general.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
It is not about men, more about you pile 4. As I said above, you are very independent and detached. You do your own thing and you live the way you want. I see that this pile doesn't really like the idea of committing to something, you are free spirited and genuine. You might have the wild woman archetype, so genuine and raw. I see that the beliefs you are holding into are 1) I need to be constantly working on myself. And 2) I need to be independent so no one can control me. I see a very sweet energy but bold at the same time. Maybe like pile three you might have abandonment wound, especially from your father. He were there and not there at the same time. He might be dry with you emotionally, I see that he was there physically and financially but emotionally? Alas. He might made you feel rejected or left out in the cold; so, as a coping mechanism you started maladiptive daydreaming to escape the pain. This pile need to do shadow work tbh (you can search shadow work prompt on pinterest if you want to). I see you escaping to your own little fantasy world to not feel the pain of abandonment, healing is required to be able to form strong bond with men. And above all, realistic relationships with them. This pile is not destructive at all unlike pile three; their energy was so destructive, like they are dumping out all their trauma on constant dating and other destructive methods. I see this pile is very creative, you might be INFP,ISFP, INFJ, ISFJ and very small group are ENFJ. I am seeing creative with sharp tongue. You might be honest too. I see that you are an earth sign (Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn) or have those placements, some of you may be an aquarius too.
How does all of that affect you currently?
I got you pile four, you may lie about your marital status? Like if someone approached you because they like you, I see that you'll lie to them about being taken. You might tell those men that you are in a relationship? I see you using this method so you can run away from unwanted attention. You might not like the attention of the men who approach you in general. I see that some people in this group are constantly manifesting their future spouse, and you are waiting for him to materialize in you 3D? And if not then I see you being so intuitive about who you are going to marry. This pile is witchy; You may be a witch or a tarot reader and you know who your future spouse is. I see that you are waiting for them to be in your life. This pile are so in their head, like in reality they are so detached, closed off and passive. But behind the scenes you guys are constantly manifesting your spouse or a specific person to marry you. I see some of you have already lost faith in manifesting that person and others quit that too long ago, because nothing really happen. I see that you are working on yourself (self care, workout, etc). And focusing on your own thing (studying, going to school/college, working your 9-5 shift). But mentally you are imagining many scenarios on how you'll meet them and how they are going to be like (future spouse or SP). I see that many people in this pile are young like literally under 28 years old or even under 30. Guys I see that you might get the person you want but you do really need to get out of your comfort zone. And embrace change, I see that many of you are either introverts or have passive personalities in general. You might not have many friends or a very tight social circle. You need to face reality and be more assertive of what you want in relationships pile four.
Thank you for reading, take care❤.
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Post date: 28th/Aug/2024-Wed
*Feedback is appreciated
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gothamhappiness · 1 month
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You are my heaven (Bruce Wayne x f!reader) Part 2
It was supposed to be a little imagine of a dark and lonely Bruce Wayne switching place with another Bruce Wayne from a parallal universe, but I wrote more than I thought. It'll be into 2 parts, except if you ask for more. <3
You can find part 1 of this here.
Warnings: no proof reading, language, mention of blood and killing, angst/comfort
He met you up at the Italian restaurant and loved to place a hand on the small of your back. He loved even more how you instinctively leaned into his touch and side. He really couldn't go back to his world. This place was heaven, and he was going to take such good care of his new people.
He listened to everything you said and actually answered. He never checked on his phone and didn't show any sign of being in the rush. You noticed how relaxed he seemed. Just before the dessert, he even reached for your hand and gently kissed it. He openly flirted with you and did his best to make you laugh. It was his favourite sound, with your moans of pleasure.
"You're in a good mood today," You finally commented. "You even took the time to talk to the kids this morning. And not to order them stuff about patrol, " You whispered
It hit Bruce. Of course, the "kids" were the vigilantes he saw working with Batman. He couldn't imagine how amazing it must be to work with other people. To be the mentor of those people, too. Their leader. Maybe even their father? They were all so young, they clearly needed someone to be there for them. And you cared for them, like a mother.
"I... Last night was a little bit complicated, and I realise how lucky I am, that’s all," Bruce replied, hoping you might know something
"Yes, Dick and Cass told me you got attacked by that mad scientist and that he threw at you some weird potion. Luckily, nothing happened. You were a little bit dizzy when you came back home, and you instantly went to bed. I helped you undress, and you fell asleep on me, " You hummed. "Anyway, I'm happy if things…” You trailed off
“If things?” Bruce tried to get you to finish your sentence
“Could... be better, " You admitted and looked away
Bruce was speechless for a few moments. Were you saying that the Bruce of this world neglected his people? His own people? You? He fucking didn't deserve any of this then. It was making things so easy, no guilt, no mercy.
"What do you mean, love?" He asked with a tilt of the head. You still refused to meet his eyes as you answered:
"Well... You haven't been around a lot lately. I can't even remember the last time we had lunch together. And you... you aren't the nicest with the children... Jason came to see me for comfort after another argument with you. Steph had a nap with me on the couch after you pushed her too much during training..." You explained. 
You didn't want to ruin the moment, but you weren't too sure when you would be able to tell him about all of this. For once, he seemed open to the discussion and wasn’t distracted with his work. However, his silence worried you a little bit. Actually, Bruce was angry. It was obvious that the Bruce of this universe didn't know his luck. He was going to be better - oh, so much better - than him. It was a promise. He kissed your hand again
"I'm so sorry. I'll do better. With everyone." He told you, and you finally looked at him, astonished. You had expected some justifications or denials, not this.
"I'm so... relieved. Maybe you could have a little talk with all the kids? And I know that your relationships with the members of the Justice League were getting tense, too. We haven't invited the Kents at home in so long." You babbled. 
Bruce could tell how much you cared about the family and that you decided to push your luck. You wanted your children to be happy, and you wished for Bruce to do better with his friends as well. You were so caring. Bruce was falling even deeper in love with you, and he didn’t think that was possible.
"I will. I promise. What about us?" He asked. 
Of course, he was going to do his best for all those people he didn't know yet, but what he wanted the most was to be a good husband to you. He had fantasied about your life together so badly, and now that it was happening, it needed to be perfect.
You didn't reply right away, trying to quickly think.
"What about us?" You finally said
"I haven't been the best to you either," Bruce guessed
"You saw the divorce papers I asked from our lawyer, didn't you?" You internally cursed yourself. You should have been better
Bruce silently panicked but didn't show anything. Oh the fucker was really ruining everything. He needed to make you forget about this divorce. You were finally his wife, he wasn't going to lose you or let you go. You were his, like he belonged body and soul to you.
"Love,..." He started, but you cut him off
"I was just thinking about it, but I... I don't want to leave the family. It was just in case things went downhill, " You explained, a little bit concerned of what the man was thinking
"It won't," He reassuringly smiled at you
"What?"
"It won't go downhill. I'll do anything you all need from me. I'm so lucky to have all of you in my life. I can't take this luck for granted. I'll do better, " He promised
You weren't too sure Bruce wasn't lying, but you wanted to believe him so badly.
Bruce found a folder with information on all the people in Bruce's life on the batcomputer, and he was grateful for that. It allowed him to know about his history with everyone and to act on consequences. He did talk to everyone and tried to make things better. He apologised and offered his help. He took some time for everyone. He showed he was eager to make an effort. He showed he wanted everyone to be happy around him. He showed he was there for his people.
He also found the mad scientist.
He interrogated him in Arkham Asylum. The man hadn't thought a new Batman would come. He just thought it would send the Dark Knight into another world, and that was it. Bruce asked if there was a way to get the real Bruce back. The mad scientist refused to answer at first before admitting that yes, there was. After all, portals could go both ways. Bruce went to the scientist's repair and destroyed everything before paying hitmen to kill the man. There was no way he would come back to Hell. No way. He would even kill the former Bruce himself if he had to.
The night he came back from the scientist’s repair, he was his most charming self to you, bringing you a beautiful necklace full of diamonds. As he helped you put it on, he complimented you and kissed your skin. He seduced you all night.
In the bath with you, his hands never left your skin. He gently washed your body and hair. He tenderly massaged cream onto you. He covered you in kisses until you would giggle under his nonstop attention. You truly hoped Bruce would keep acting like that because you were falling back in love with him. Hard. You were happy, and you clearly didn't want to get a divorce anymore.
A few days later, you and the children had lunch all together. Without Bruce.
You all decided that a conversation was a necessity because “what was going on with the man for fuck's sake?”. It was impossible he changed that much in such a short period of time. It was obvious something happened with the mad scientist. But weirdly enough, he was now dead and his work was destroyed...
"It's not Bruce," Tim finally said
"What do you mean?" You frowned
"It's not the Bruce we knew. From what I've been able to find, the scientist was studying portals through different parallel universe" Tim added
"You're saying that... He switched of Bruces from two different worlds?" You asked
"I think it's what happened, yes." Tim nodded, and you all stayed silent for a little while
"What do we do?" Duke asked
"This Bruce is nicer," Jason commented
"And more caring," Stephanie added
"But it is not our father." Damian frowned
"But he is acting like one..." Dick replied
"And like a husband." Cass added "His body language... He is so in love with you, Y/N… Like he would do anything for you."
"I... I know.” You paused “Maybe we all deserve some happiness"
“Are you saying we should pretend we don’t know anything? Barbara asked “It’s true that the Bruce we had was… challenging, but he all saved us. And kinda took care of us. We don’t know what this man will do in the long run” she added, and you were forced to agree with her
“Let me talk to him” You offered, and everyone agreed.
You weren’t too sure when it would be the right moment to speak with your new husband about the situation.
One evening, as you were snuggled up in his embrace, you felt like it was the right time. It was only the two of you, and the day has been quite good for Bruce, so he was relaxed. You kissed his collarbone to bring his attention back to you. He instantly put his book down to look at you.
"Yes, love?" He hummed
“Who are you?” You whispered with a bite of your bottom lip
“What? You know who am I” Bruce pretended to laugh it off, but he tensed a little bit
“You’re different. The kids are little detectives, and they think you are coming from a parallel universe. And… I can believe that” You explained
“Why?” 
“Because my husband liked me, but never worshipped me like a divinity of love” You softly smiled
“Well, he should have” Bruce groaned
“So, this is true, right? You came from another universe. And the man I married is there, instead of you?” You asked
Bruce cupped your face and leaned his forehead against yours. He had been the happiest man in the world the past few weeks. He finally had everything he ever wanted and needed. He would sell his soul in exchange for keeping this life. He was terrified you would cast him away.
“He didn’t deserve you. Any of you. I guess he’s there, yes, but I don’t really know. And I don’t care. I want to stay here. Haven’t I been good to you? Don’t you want to keep me? Haven’t I been better than he was?” He pleaded.
You heard the fear and despair in his voice.
“Your world isn’t as nice as here then?” You asked 
“My Alfred died when I turned 18, so I never had the time to adopt any of the children. I did my best as Batman and CEO of Wayne Enterprises, but I’m alone and lonely. Maybe I fucked up too, because my life is a just a mess. I don’t know, but this is Heaven and my world is Hell.”
“We’re not married either?” You wondered
“I’m too much of a loser to interest you. No matter how madly in love I am with you. No matter how much I’ve always wanted to worship you. I’m so happy to finally have you as my wife. I’ll always cherish you.” He admitted and promised
You stayed silent, not knowing what to do anymore. This place was clearly a fresh and happy start for the man in front of you. But what about the Bruce Wayne of this world? Wasn’t it a cruel punishment to leave him in such a lonely place? At the same time, you weren’t sure the man you married would even take care of you like you now were. And you would miss that very much. The children deserved a better father, too. Jason actually started to hang out with this new Bruce. And now Jason knew it wasn’t the same man who betrayed him. Their relationship would be even better. There were so many advantages...
“Keep me” The man begged you “I’ll do anything you want” He whispered again
“I… do want you to stay. But I feel awful knowing he is in your world. Alone.” You admitted
“I can make you forget about him” Bruce offered before kissing you, his thoughts on ways to make everyone forget about the “real” Bruce Wayne.
He was going to stay in Heaven, no matter the price, no matter the sacrifice, no matter what. You kissed him back before gently pushing him away.
“What if he comes back?” You asked “Would you hurt him?” You continued
Bruce didn’t answer, so you knew he would kill him without hesitation. He was a love, attention, and touch starved man. He knew what it was to be so broken that nothing could work out. 
“Barbara and Damian… They need some convincing to not find a way and save the Bruce we knew. I still feel bad but… if I loved him, I know I’ve never felt for him what I’m feeling for you” You whispered
Bruce’s eyes lit up. Being loved by you because he was Bruce Wayne was a thing, but being loved by you because of who he was was so much better. He didn’t know what to say, so he deeply kissed you over and over again.
“Love you, love you so much. You’ll be happy with me. Everyone will be happy with me.” He whispered in between kisses
“You promise?” You breathlessly asked 
“I promise, my love”
--
Part 3
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Taglist for all my work <3
@blublock404
Taglist for this series <3
@bat1212
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tarotmundomonde · 2 months
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What kind of sxx you attract?
(I did the reading thinking about if someone is lusting over you.) This is my first time doing a reading like this so make sure to leave feedback in the comments or askbox!! and let me know, what your thoughts are!
pick a number 1-5 OR an emoji 💦 🧨 💋 😈 ♨️
(ps. this reading is for practice & for fun)
1.💦 Dear pile 1, you attract sxx that is nothing like in your imagination/fantasies. The sxx you attract looks much more serene and peaceful than you'd think. The cards show intimacy and love making. Sxx, where you both end up with a wide smile on your face. Emotional bliss. Very high sxx drive. You seem to attract someone, who is a good fit for you. ++: There is a strong element of surprise here. Your person would keep you on your toes. Goosebumps, shivers, the chills. Very high tension. It's like you try to constantly think, guess, predict their next move and they want to show you that it won't help you. They definitely want to come from behind, too. And they don't mind you on top. Also, they like to tease you and in that way keep you on your toes. It's like every touch gives you the shivers. They want your whole body to be in shivers, shaking and tremble under their touch from anticipation. They seem to focus a lot also on your front point of your lower body, teasing and touching it a lot to get you off. They would definitely come from behind and take you by surprise from behind. And they will repeat it. So, although we see sweet energy in the cards and love making, there is also roughness and tension present as well. It looks like they want to wear you out. It's like teasing, edging, before doing it at full force. Also, they want to learn about your body or perhaps if you are the type to talk about what you like/want/expect beforehand, they want to show you they know what to do to you. They want you to feel seen, heard and understood. They also want to hear your voice, they want you to scream and to be vocal. By the way, it looks like they will whisper your name a lot, especially, when teasing you. And they like to pinch you? Especially the chest area. And there is a sense of doing it till you are totally wasted and finished.
2.🧨Dear pile 2, you definitely attract Big D Energy & actually a big D. You seem to attract the most basic sxx possible, but it's a happy ending. You definitely attract people, who are genuinely turned on and want to show you, how it's done right. Like what's coming through is attracting partners with a strong pride and so it shows in sxx. It's gonna be good, maybe lazy, but good, because these partners they care about what would be said about them. Passion mixed with feelings. It's not really that romantic, like said it's basic sxx. The focus is more on your partner and on them being desired. So you could feel it's a little boring or lacking, skipping steps, even disappointing, because they seem to be more focused on the deed itself & on themselves. But it's passionate and also, because of the matter of pride, it is good. And you seem to attract unplanned sxx, so it's like when it feels right and when you are in the mood. Yet, it looks like in a way they are prepared. Especially in the sense of showing you they know how to use their wand right. It seems you are gonna love it. But the main focus is on your partner and they know, how to use their wand and have you both have a happy ending by their wand. Had to say it, because there is a strong emphasis on that. ++: The cards show both missionary & from behind. So it seems you attract doing it possibly twice during one session. The cards show passion and intimacy, closeness. You attract sxx, where your partner likes to have their body against yours, pressed on yours. It also looks like you attract sxx that is most of the time initiated by your partner's desires/will. But it doesn't look like there is any warm up really. It's kinda like embraces & kisses and reading your body language and then just jumping into the action. Passion & moans. You seem to attract your partner wanting to have your mouth & your hands on their wand, if you catch the drift. They want to receive from you. And you seem to attract sxx, where your partner wants you to tell them how good it feels and that you want more and that you tell them to take you already. They could like to tease you a bit, where they are like -oh so you want more- and then just go for it. Definitely it's all about being in the feels. And also, it looks like you attract the person liking your hair, liking to touch your hair. Also, it looks like maybe you try to attract them into giving you more, you know, to touch your lower parts more, but they are not interested in that.
3.💋Dear pile 3, you definitely attract sxx in the bedroom! Like most certainly you do it in the bedroom and just in the bedroom. You attract pleasure and sensuality. You attract sxx that is really all about the senses. You know, looking good, smelling good, etc, but also the environment being set up. Like clean bedsheets & a clean bedroom, candlelights, maybe some aromas, etc. Perhaps drinking a bottle of wine from a fine glass, eating strawberries, etc. Luxury. There is also reference to sitting position, so perhaps you are on their lap, doing it on a chair or just sitting position. Also, you on top. Otherwise it looks like your partners really want to hold you strong. Like a strong grip. The waist area, so they really like to have a strong hold, grip on your hips. And pulling your hair, grabbing your hair, like really strongly. They also like to grab you from your feet and ankles and your tatas. So you can probably already guess a lot of possible positions from these details. They could be the type to come in swiftly, so you might always let out a small scream/shriek? It's just very piercing. They find the spot. But the cards show good chemistry, great pleasure, so happy ending. ++: Since you are all about the finest details & pleasure, there seems to be focus on lingerie & also possibly light bondages. It looks like you could be the type to really enjoy to feel a sense of power over your partners. So it does seem like you like to give them pleasure, to give them a happy ending with your hands. Also, you could be on top. There seems to be a fascination about your hands and also your feet. Like kissing and sucking your toes, your legs, your tighs, your hands and then your neck and kissing your lips. A lot of kissing, even french kisses. A lot of caressing and moving your bodies against each others'. A lot of touching, and light touches. You want them to intuitively know what you like. Also, it looks like it's always like a special occasion, it's very special & magical and you love it together. Definitely looks like night time mostly. Also, whether you both do it or whether it's them or you, but stealing something of theirs? For example you want to wear their shirt. And really, major focus on touches (handtouches).
4.😈Dear pile 4, you could attract drunk sxx and sxx in the shower. Also, angry sxx, revenge sxx, make up sxx. The best way to explain what the cards are showing is shower sxx. Because it can be very difficult to enjoy, when you have to be mindful of the slippery floor, maybe there isn't much space either and the awkwardness of the positions. So it's a struggle. Otherwise, it looks like pure fxcking. Multiple times, but pure fxcking. It's intense and goes deep, messy, all over the place. Could even be on the table. But yeah, pure intense fxcking. And maybe you can already guess it, but you could say there is an element of adventure to this pile. In the sense that you could do it in many places and in many different ways, lots of different positions. So in a way, you might not quite know, what you'll do each time, like where & how. ++: There is a sense like you know, what's coming. But it can also still be surprising, the intensity of it. It looks like from slow to really rough. It's like at first slowly caressing you, kissing and then boom. Suddenly they rip your clothes off and they can be very harsh/rough on you. You might attract public sxx, too, because you definitely attract someone, who doesn't mind that. But it's like someone wants you on your knees and they want it their way. They expect you to be submissive. They definitely expext a lot from you, you know, you on your knees and your hands/mouth on their lower parts. And they really like it from behind, they love it from behind. They like to touch and grab your ass, to spank it even but lightly/softly. And pulling your hair mercilessly. So very rough sxx, but then also making love. Like already said, pure fxcking. But add to it soft touches, soft kisses. In short, very wild sxx.
5.♨️Dear pile 5, you attract fated, meant to be sxx. It's all about you receiving. When someone wants you, they see you as this gift from heaven. They want to touch all of your body, they want to devour you. And they want you to feel it. I'm telling you, they want you naked and they just love all of it. They just really want to touch you. You are their main course and dessert, you are their whole meal. You are that special 18K cake and they want it all. That said, there is a bit of a pxrnish side here, kinda like they are a bit of a pxrvert, when it comes to you. They also want to devour you with their eyes. It's very possible they could enjoy, if there is a mirror or that they could see your reflection through windows. You attract sxx, where your person feels like they are meant to serve you & that means they need to in that sense be the dominant one. So, let's say you want to be on top, they would start to push their hips up, aka fxck you from under, and they love how your body moves then. Oh my goodness, do I even know, how to put it into words, what I'm seeing here?? But yeah, you are the one receiving. They really want to find all the ways to serve you right and they will definitely ask for your permission, so make sure to tell them. Because they seem to want you wide open, like they would open your legs wide open.. Yeah, just make sure to tell them, what's not okay and what you like, they take you seriously. And they just love to watch everything and all the shaking. Like when they play with their hands in your lower part, they love to watch that and love you watching it. Same when they play with your tatas. Same when they fxck you. Let's say they come from behind, they would love you to see from a reflection what it looks like and what they look like. Same if from the front, like let's say they touch you with their fingers and then they kiss your body from down to up, they would love you to see through a mirror or reflection, how they are moving closer towards your face, like.. yeah, I'm sure you catch the drift. They love to watch how your are tatas are moving, they love that. They love to play with them & "roll" them around in circles. Same with your lower part. They love doing things with their fingers down there and with their mouth. And it is indeed real raw fxcking. Like in so many positions, places and multiple rounds. Yeah, this pile is really something. And I don't know why, but I keep getting that they have a thicker one, their D. Also, something really strongly coming through as well is healing sxx & magical sxx. It means it's special and amazing. You attract the perfect match, like the sxx is always amazing. You attract sxx, where you have incredible chemistry with your person and there is balance of passion and love. It's so much good. ++: My goodness, you attract sxx, where your person really wants you to feel that your body is loved & your person truly wants you to feel loved. A lot of intimacy, embraces, kisses and then touching you softly, lovingly and with their mouth. They love your tatas and down there (their face, mouth, hands). They love to touch your ass. They like to kiss all of your body, even licking & sucking. Your person wants to be all you need and more. They really want to show you and they really want you in every way. I see deep kisses. Admiration and adoration. They love watching you & all your movements. You are so hot to them. They want you so bad, so thirsty for you. They really love having their dxck inside you. They really love doing you. They want to make you moan, they want you to feel, how you are so desired by them. It's really a pleasure to them to give you. It shows doing it in many places, the kitchen is coming through, living-room, bedroom, the floor, etc, many rounds, many times, different positions, it's gonna be intense and wild and passionate, it's gonna be raw fxcking, it's gonna be love making and making love. It feels like there is so much to tell with this pile but I tried my best and I hope you are getting the message.
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anotherocean · 3 months
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THE SEED IN YOUR SOUL:
This reading is about a dream your soul has for you. This is my second PAC reading and it's like a compass for your soul-- something you deeply desire, something that is already occurring on some level, and something that has seeds within you already. Please feel free to pick more than one pile, or pick them all, or just pick one. This is meant to be a glance at something essential inside you that popped out at me, and some advice moving forward toward a more complete realization of it. Please let me know if you found this helpful or if it resonated! :)
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PILE I. You are so beautiful to me Pile 1, and your life is abundant with riches. There is SO MUCH peace here. You can finally rest. The energy I see is you on a tropical island swinging in a hammock without a care in the world. You are allowed to take life as slowly as you want. You really appreciate the sensuality of things. Really truly. That’s what makes you rich. The abundance spills forth from there, and you have the money to cover all the basics (and more) without worry. You even have enough money to take care of your loved ones it seems, which is something that matters to you. You want to share so much of what you have, and that's part of what makes you feel rich too. You’ve carved out a gorgeous life for yourself, and that life is just for you. It doesn’t look like a life that anyone has ever seen before. It’s fully YOURS... you invented it! If the word “mine” isn’t your guiding word, it should be. You are learning about all the things that are yours, and it makes you truly rich. You can live your life in secret if you want. Or you can live it very loud and big. There is a duality to you. Somehow your legacy in life is both very small and very huge. You live both a very secret life, and a very public one. You acquaint yourself with the riches of the world and live in true luxury, as personally defined by you.
Advice: You’re coming off of a really hard time it looks like. Recognize the difficulties you’ve been through. Honor them. Address concerns you have about security and how that may be holding you back. Security is your birthright, but it is a state you can feel without obsessively pursuing it and valuing it above all else. RELEASE your regrets for how you wish things could have been. People and situations are flawed. We are flawed. Life doesn’t always take the twists and turns we like, and it’s your time to move on. It’s time to step away from those things and embrace your confidence, your fire, your passion. Aim to complete what you’ve started and begin afresh. It’s the end of a cycle and the beginning of a glorious new one. You are headed for exciting new opportunities and the feeling of inspiration is just around the corner.
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PILE II.
My graceful and gorgeous pile 2. Letting your body be completely free makes you really happy, and this is something you feel allowed to do privately.  You are utterly unique and solitude just allows you to stretch out into that.  You loooooooove to be alone, and it is a truly gorgeous thing.  I think a lot of the time solitude gets a bad rap, but this pile is all about the gorgeousness that comes from really getting to enjoy your own company, and the world around you.  You are EXTREMELY sensual and I mean sensual with a capital SSSSSS.  Your greatest joy is pure quiet, and the sounds of nature.  From this place of solitude, and a deep knowing, you find absolute and utter, tranquility.  Maybe this is a pile that has experienced pain or trauma or power struggles but that is all over.  It’s like all the nature you’ve surrounded yourself with has just sucked it out of you completely.  Your body is going to take over.  I keep getting that this is maybe a scary thing, but it shouldn’t be.  You are 100% aligned with something holy.  Deep down I think you know this.  Anyway, the divine will wash over you.  Just say thanks, or say nothing at all, and melt.  You are here for this kind of bliss. You are absolutely absorbed into a spirituality that many people would die to experience just a fraction of.  You are existing on other wavelengths entirely, and what a stunning thing that is.
Advice: You’re undergoing a massive transformation.  Embrace the upheaval you are going through.  Move away from rigid thinking (“this is the way it should be”).  Rules and adherence to rules are not your friend right now.  You will still want to use your mind to think clearly, but be playful and inquisitive as you do it.  Ask a lot of questions and be curious.  Understand too, that emotional pain may be part of the process toward what you most want right now, and that is okay, it will only make your heart stronger and you more beautiful.  Let joy, friends, community and camaraderie lift you up and be part of your healing process.
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PILE III
Right away I get the glory of good food!  Of nourishment!  This is just the surface.  You have absolutely incredible, deep-in-your-body physical confidence.  You are an athlete, a chef, someone whose whole world depends on their body.  Still, you are going to the gym, making the smoothies, swimming, dancing, your world is revolving around your physical self.  You get massages.  In a sense you are free to worship yourself.  You are free to worship your world.  Judgements from other people (and there are some) only thrill you, and you might even enjoy the fiery friction.  Sexuality is a part of your life, and it’s tied to your creativity.  You are of the body, by the body and for the body.  You get the pleasure of standing up for what you believe in.  You are some kind of star.  Something old-fashioned even.  Or there is something about the way you live that is old fashioned.  Or your notoriety (fame?) is old fashioned somehow… You are my most musical pile.
Advice:  You are setting out on a brand new adventure right now—how thrilling.  I can feel the potential and excitement.  You are a bit concerned about the long term stability of your plan and it’s holding you back a bit.  There is some hesitation, and it might be hindering your progress.  Don’t be so conservative right now, but also don’t be reckless.  There is a bit of a push-pull between a conservative approach, and a devil may care attitude.  Balance your enthusiasm with steady and thoughtful planning.  Above all else, embrace collaboration and teamwork.  Recognize the importance of collective efforts.  I promise that even if this does not relate directly to your goals, that peripheral collaborations will still help you.  Learn from people around you.  My other word of advice is take time to rest and recollect.  Be diligent, responsible and practical and be in it for the long haul.  There is stability in that alone, which should give you some comfort.  Practicality without conservatism will do you a world of good right now as you set out on your exciting new path.
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PILE IV
You are a traveler down to the deepest parts of yourself.  You see the world and different people in the world, and make connections everywhere you go.  You rush hurriedly from one flight to another, and then you find yourself somewhere exotic and your world gets bigger and your whole mind expands.  It’s like the drapes were drawn in your living room for your whole life and now you’ve finally opened them letting light stream in, and even the windows are open and fresh air is finally getting inside.  You see so many things.  Greatest mountains, other oceans, animals and flora and fauna of other worlds.  In a sense you are like an alien walking on earth and just want to see as much of it as possible before you have to leave.  You are so free.  You step so lightly in this world, and with so much joy.  You go to cafes you’ve never been to, shops you’ve never been to, temples and fragrant forests where the caterpillars are huge and orange and you reach out and touch one out of curiosity.  You are a true citizen of the world, and deeply connected to humanity.  Your travels do not alienate you, they deepen your roots to Earth and connect you with your global family.  
Advice: You are on a new path, perhaps related to the material world or financial comforts.  There are real tangible beginnings now.  What’s holding you back are indecision and possibly procrastination.  Let go of indecision and avoiding the task at hand.  Make a decision and move forward with it… at some point in the future it might be appropriate to make adjustments, but not right now.  Right now you must embrace your vision and your confidence.  Be bold!!!!!!!!!  You might encounter worry, fear, anxiety but face it head on.  Don’t try to deny or hide away.  See the fear for what it is and have a direct confrontation with it (sometimes this is the war in our mind).  Persevere and value your resilience.  Say thank you to yourself for it.
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I hope you enjoyed this reading! I may eventually do paid services if people want additional info or clarifying questions. Very grateful to help and hope some of this information resonated with you. I had fun doing it and the hours slipped away. Put in my inbox or in comments if you want to see me focus on a specific reading.
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pickingupmymercedes · 3 months
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Lewis Masterlist
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Series
It comes with the territory p.1 / p.2 / p.3
“This… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But no love is worth losing my sanity over. Not even ours.”
An Invisible String Theory Story p.1 / p.2 / p.3
"I’ve always felt that string pulling me closer to something. But never, not even in my most beautiful dreams, had I imagined that it was to bind us together."
It was bound to come out p.1 / p.2
"Do I look like I'm joking? This is not a joke! My father has seen a video of us... the one video that couldn’t leave my phone!"
Not just a pretty face p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / bonus
"because even this… even this agonizing dance is better than not having you at all."
Maybe in another life - p.1 / p.2 / p.3
"A what-if that will forever linger in the quiet corners of my mind."
She’s here and she’s ours - p.1 / p.2 / p.3 / p.4 / p.5 / p.6 / p.7
You couldn’t really tell if he was telling you or himself that. "How you feeling dad?" "Amazed, hopeful, scared... in love"
Get me out of here p.1 / p.2
“Why are you defending him?” “Because we need to think this through, babe. Toto’s not one of us anymore, you saw it.”
Your future was Ferrari - p.1 / p.2
Surely, it meant nothing for Lewis and you would probably never see him again. Your future was at Ferrari, somewhere he would never step foot in. Or would he?!
Multichapters
Ways to say “I love you” p.1 / p.2 / p.3(NSFW)
All these little things p.1 / p.2
Small firsts p.1
Firsts - NSFW p.1 / p.2
Ways they show they love each other p.1 / p.2
One-Shots
Angst
It had to be enough - "I’m so fucking tired of fighting, of trying to prove that I still belong here." "I can’t keep watching you tear yourself apart like this. It’s killing me, Lewis."
Home is wherever you are - "You shouldn't have come" "Had to"
An impossible dream - "Don't you ever wonder what could have been?"
I didn't get scared. I'm always scared - “Do you even understand what it’s like for me? To love someone who lives every day like it might be their last?”
Not now, not ever - "You don't have to go through this alone, you know"
I'll come find you - “I’m scared… of how things have been, of how things are going to be.”
If these wings could fly - “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like Sunday. It’s been so long and everyone’s worked so hard for that”
And just like the sun, we will rise - “I can’t promise to have all the answers, but please let me in”
Fluffs
Lucky you're hot - The kind of kiss that would’ve been cute—if it weren’t for the fact that I was very much on camera, in a professional setting, with a dozen or so people watching.
A smile like that -"And he’s out there, posting photos like it’s some romantic movie."
A bit mushy - How Lewis and his wife do in a couple's Interview.
Happy you're home - "And trust me, he adores you. He just doesn't know how to express it."
Later it is - “But that safety pin right there is holding on for dear life.” “I only care about what you think.” “Flatterer.”
Of thorns and blooms - "It's meant to be worn by someone who sees the world differently, who tells stories with every thread"
He always rises - "Like I knew I'd given it my all, every lap, every strategy meeting. And finally, finally, it’s paying off. It feels… good. It feels so damn good."
R for Roscoe, C for Coco - "You went through all this trouble just for Father's Day with Roscoe?"
Boy from Stevenage - "you don't need to win over that entire room tonight. You just need to make that brave boy from Stevenage proud."
Whispered fairytale - "The point is in the surprise. The joy of meeting them, whoever they are, for the very first time."
A thousand times over - "Since I still don’t believe it’s true… would you marry me, again?"
It sounds silly - "I'm a grown woman who’s achieved success in life, yet… I find myself comparing to those other women."
NSFW (+18 only)
Utterly gone -“But for the record, I also owe you.”
Very First -“I want this. I want you. And I’m not saying that lightly.”
Salty -"Told you” she whispered, her thumb brushing against his bottom lip. "It’s salty."
Damn him -“I believe you’ve got two things that are mine” “My hair tie you took with you this morning. And you babe, you're mine.”
Give yourself some credit - “I’m gonna give you five minutes to mourn that shit qualy” “You think you can handle me, pretty girl?”
What those arms can do - "Let's focus on you for now, love. And what these arms can do to you."
Warm enough - "Did you know there were no doors in this place?" "I might have known. Thought it could be romantic"
It's not just a win - The 104 special - "I just...I needed this. I needed to win. To prove to myself that I still can."
Improvised Compensation - "My plans definitely involve you" he continued, "but they can be done anywhere"
As good as chocolate - "That's a new way to claim your share"
I'm yours, only yours - Vegas special - “You really thought she was any match for you?”
It always points South - “Your compass tattoo, huh?”
My Venus - MET special - "I can actually feel your eyes searing holes in my dress, Lewis."
I want South - "Hello, miss explorer”
You only need to ask - "Seems like someone's forgotten how we got here in the first place"
It's Mrs. Hamilton - “Mark me, show me who I belong to”
The things we do for fashion - "Like what you see?" "More than you'll ever know."
Show me you care - “I’m asking you to, show me how much you want this, because I know you do”
My mark - “I’m not one to leave things unfinished”
NSFW alphabet
Senna!Reader x Lewis Hamilton
Thank you for everything - "It doesn't matter how long it's been" "Grief doesn't have a deadline."
Under an Ipê tree - “He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure."
Drabbles
Do not under any circumstance plagarize, edit, repurpose, or repost any of my original work. this includes all of my works.
copyright © 2024 pickingupmymercedes all right reserved.
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crystallilytarot · 8 months
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Choose a stuffie. Messages from your future partner
Pile 1 - panda
I think there will be a big change in your life before you two meet, or a big change is happening now. Your future partner said keep going. Please, don't give up. I know it's hard, but it will worth it, please, just keep trying, just hold on a little longer. Do it for me baby. I am coming sooner than you think. We will have a happy family together. (for some of you it can be pets too) We will be so happy, I promise you. All the things you dreamed about, it will be a reality soon. Our love is a little bit like a fairytale. We will also be best friends too. I love you so much! It's hard for me too, but we have to keep believing and keep going. I'm sending you a lot of kisses. Don't give up hope honey!
I also think number 6 and 9 can be significant here, and some water, a lake, beach, sand, and sunshine. Your life will be more happy when you meet. I think your partner and your story is wholesome, I almost teared up, it's beautiful.
Pile 2 - teddy
I feel that you and your partner both had some negative experiences when it comes to love. They said, they know what you are going through. They were betrayed and heartbroken too. They know they still have some issues they need to work on, but they feel better every day. I think they need a little more time, but they are not so far away. Or maybe physically far from you, I feel they live elsewhere or can be a foreigner too. Feels like their voice is a little distant. But I think they only have a little trust issue now, they are almost ready to open up again. And once they arrive, they will be an emotionally available, mature person, a good material for a relationship. They will be so understanding, caring, loving. They will be patient if you need time to anything. You can talk to them about anything literally. Once they are in your life, they will make a lot of efforts to sweep you off your feet, they want you and they will do everything to prove it for you. You both will be healed, everything forgotten, because it's like one in a lifetime kinda relationship. I honestly feel like nothing matters as long as you are there for each other. You are in a bubble, you are finally safe, you are loved. And they said they love you and never forget, that you are worthy. You are precious. And you are a real treasure for them! They want to send you a ❤️ too.
Also grey, numbers 3,6, and letters M or H can be significant.
Pile 3 - bunny
They are very proud of you. You are so strong, and you should be proud of yourself too. You are right when you stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what to do, it's your life! You two feels like a power couple. I think communication will be very good. They are someone who you can finally talk to. You are both so smart. They said nobody was in your level, so of course you wasn't a good match with anyone, because you are a gem. You deserve better. They also feels like someone who stand up for their loved ones and for what they believe. And if someone treats you wrong, they will have a word with them for sure. Also if you want to move to another place, they will help you with it. Or for some of you, if you want to change your job or something, they said do it. It can be scary, but it's needed, you should really do it. Maybe you feel lonely sometimes, and they know there are days when it's hard, but those people around you won't understand you. You're a high quality person, so you need someone high quality too, like them. They said you will definitely travel a lot, together and you will move to a place where you will be very happy, where you can be yourself. If you are in a toxic environment now, this new place will be so much better. A real home. And they also said that they will love your body very much, they will admire you.
Numbers 2 and 9 can be significant, also a long item, maybe a sword, a tree, and a crown. You will be the rich, elegant, high value couple from a fanfiction.
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yandere-kokeshi · 9 months
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Hi! I hope you're having a nice day
I'm just wondering if you can make a yandere ghost or price with a s/o who has a other boyfriend fic?
Thanks<3
(if you don't have time for this, it's okay)
— Such Waste
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Warnings: Yandere behavior, stalking, suggested age gap, swearing, talks about reader who grew up in an abusive family; current-bf is abusive/has an unhealthy relationship; reader is slightly naive, violence, and detailed blood..
A/N: this one was pretty hard for me to finish so sorry if it's dull or simply not well; I'm not very happy with it lmao. Enjoy! :]
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Inserting the key into the door with a small click!, and opening it to your usually, scattered apartment, you sighed — heavily. 
Today was grueling. Not only was your work office incredibly demanding, but it was possibly draining what was left of your very soul. Your bones and stiff muscles were hurting. Begging for you to get more sleep than having 2 – 4 hours of naps every day.
You took off your shoes by the front door and put your belongings on the table; re-footing your steps backwards, to put your keys on the bookshelf for remembrance. Though, you were rudely interrupted as your phone buzzed multiple times, and you let out yet another sigh. 
In your bones, you had a feeling — an immediate feeling of who it was.
Grabbing your phone in the back pocket, you whisked it out and typed in your passcode before seeing multiple, if not, tons of missed calls and text messages from your current boyfriend.  
Liam: Are you srsly ignoring me? It was a joke. — sent at 8:23 pm
Liam: baby, come on. You passed your break. Just answer me. — sent at 8:57 pm
Liam: answer the fucking phone! Are you dumb? Pick up the phone!!!! — sent at 9:21 pm
Liam: if you don’t answer, it's over. — sent at 11:48
You rolled your eyes, feeling anger rise in you again. You chose to send a small message. Who would’ve thought the blue-eyed, blond hair and a tooth gap combo of a man would be the best fit? Not you, apparently. 
You: Got caught up with work. Sorry, we can talk more about this tomorrow. I’m gonna head to bed. Night.  — sent at 12:19 pm
While Liam was a nice guy, he was slightly controlling and immature. Always wanted to know who or where you were, why you were hanging out with people he didn’t know, and if you loved getting unwanted attention. Sometimes, fights got so bad that your elderly neighbors had to call the police to separate the two of you for a few nights. 
Poor Lucy. Wonder how she still deals with you being next door.
Groaning, you put your phone back into your back pocket, before your hands rubbing over your face in exhaustion. 
Not only was your boss extremely cranky and rude today, but everyone was on edge due to his behavior. You couldn’t even talk to your coworkers without them using the excuse of ‘I have to leave’ whenever he steps foot into the room. Plus, the stress of bills, your current boyfriend, and the harassment was getting to your breaking point. 
God, you hated this job. But it paid your bills. That’s all you cared about, right?
You scoffed, feeling your back prick and pop in places that sounded like it shouldn’t. Looking at the fridge in your kitchen, you slumped over and walked over to it, talking to yourself as you opened it, reaching down for the leftover pizza box that you didn’t get to finish last night.
Barely eating a few pieces, you were already heading down the hallway to your bedroom, peeling off your sweaty work clothes. However, something stopped you in the tracks that made your heart jump right out of your chest and into your mouth. 
Roses. Roses were on your bed. Sure, it was beautiful. The lilac, reddening color shining in your room was gorgeous. 
But who put them there?
You stared at them. Who the hell was in your apartment? Was it maintenance? Maybe a surprise gift they gave out for people living here in the poor-run down apartments?
No. It couldn’t be. Rarely do they ever give you things — especially flowers. What and who the fuck?
“Do you not like them?” 
You jumped at the sudden rough voice, dropping your pizza on the floor and whipping around, seeing a giant man sitting in your favorite chair in the corner of your bedroom; wearing a thick, menacing skull balaclava, piercing your skin like a knife. 
“Who… the fuck are you!” you shouted. Your feet stepped back, watching him as he repositioned himself — his elbows now resting on the armrests of the chair, and leaning forward into the obvious comfy chair. You couldn’t help but judge the guy. Who wears a skull mask other than on Halloween? Was he a killer? Going to slice you—!
“I would think you’d know that with the stuff I gave you.” 
A chill ran down your spine. So was this — no, this was the guy. 
The man who left your favorite chocolate on your window seal each morning, the sweet notes of compliments, sometimes bearing suggestions on things you should wear that day. And the huge bouquet on the front door, which was soon transported to your dinner-table, that was left every Friday.
Oh, my g-d.
“Holy shit,” you gasped, finally looking at his outfit, seeing the Britain flag sewed on his Khaki pants. It’s military. What the fuck did you do? “Did I break the law?” you hushed out, terrified at the man.
However, the man in front of you snickered. “Doubt you’d have the guts to break the law, sweetheart.” 
“I– what?” you looked at him dumbfounded. Who the fuck was this guy? 
“Ya’ heard me, only have a speeding ticket,” he remarked, making you dart your eyes toward behind you to the hallway, seeing the front door before back at him. “Pretty impressive for your age, if ya’ ask me.”
Your brain short-circuited. “How… do you know that?” you posed, feeling your breathing quicken. “I have so many questions,” you added. But yet, the man stared at you with his darkening eyes. Didn’t help that your room was dimmed. You really should’ve fixed that light. 
He stared at you before speaking up. “Bet ya’ do. I’m all answering them as long as you get rid of that cunt of a boyfriend.” 
“E… ‘cuse me?” you stammered, taking another step back. But, your anger got ahead of you; your eyebrows knitted against each other. “I can assure you that he treats me well.”
Though, the man just scoffed and stood up as your throat closed at the sight of the man. Why the fuck was he so tall? “Sure. Keep imagining that sick fantasy image of yours, and you’ll wake up in the hospital with a broken nose.”
You wanted to defend yourself. But he was right. Breaking your index finger hurts like a bitch. The frequent fights were exhausting. The last time you tried talking with Liam about visiting a close friend an hour away ended up with his hand reaching out towards your wrist, twisting it with a large sprain and a large hospital bill. 
The yelling. The self-blame. The hours of constant harassment with texts and calls. The horrible smell of booze. You really fucked up your love life, didn’t you? 
“But,” he started, a thick accent voicing in as he stepped closer into your direction. “I can treat you better, love. Someone who won’t hurt ya. Treat you like the doll you are.”
You narrow your eyes at him, nervously biting at the inside of your cheeks as you wait for him to continue. 
“I’ll make sure to treat you well. Something you haven’t been lucky to feel. Your parents were mean towards you, no?” he asked questionably, and it made your heart drop to your stomach. “But, I can take care of you; better than anyone has.” 
So many questions raced through your mind as your eyes darted at the floor then back toward the man. Like a rabbit, you stiffened. Confused. Body shaking as the predator approached. 
“I don’t… even know who you are,” you replied, tightening your hand into a fist. Your heart was speeding, hands and legs shaking with fear. Your throat stiffened. He could clearly see it — and yet somehow, his eyes got softer; those brown pupils having a sad and apologetic look. Almost like a dog trying to comfort you. 
You don’t know you’re crying until you feel a gloved thumb wipe them away, causing you to flinch. Realizing that the man was now in front of you, you tried to step back, but your ankle hit the bedroom wall, securing you in a close habitat. 
But, with everything going on, you didn’t have the energy to push him away nor look up at him. Continuing to look at the floor as your mind circled around on whom the fuck was this man? 
“Look at me, will ya’?”
You hesitated. Didn’t reply. But as he said your name, a shiver traveled down your spine, and you looked at him – his predominant features coming in. Even with your anxiety and fear swirling in your stomach, you looked at the creases in his eyebrows, the clashing scars near his temple, eyes, and brows. His jarring eyes surrounded by black eyeshadow, seemingly gentler, almost like they were trying to welcome you into a trap. 
You stare up at him with half-lidded eyes. And with a gasp, you felt his hand take your chin, his palm almost eclipsing the lower half of your face, and turn your head right into the direction he wanted you to: staring at him in the eyes.
“I promise. I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassures, though, it doesn’t help as more tears drowned down on your behalf. 
And yet, you couldn’t fathom his words. 
“I don’t–” you started, taking a deep and sharp inhale, “–trust you, I don’t even know your name. How can I know you’re… not some, serial killer?” your question was weak. And stupid. But it was the only thing you could think of out of the bluster. 
His eyes narrowed at your reply before answering at your ‘plea’. 
“I suppose that’s a start,” he huffs.
You looked at his eyes, before narrowing down at the mask. And clearly, by your eyes and non-answer, he nodded at your invisible ask. 
Stepping back, the man’s hands traveled to lift the mask upwards. He revealed the point of his chin, the skin equally rough, like his demeanor. 
He didn’t stop from continuing, exposing more of his lower lip. The skin there was rugged and scarred, little creases in the flesh. Scars that made your heart thud awkwardly. At his cupid’s bow, where you saw a huge scar, it made you gasp quietly out of wincing. The thick mark going upward on his left lip, so callused and rough. It looks like it still hurts.
Finally, he pulled the mask fully off, revealing his natural-resting face, thick eyebrows, and the two large scars right above his filled brows. It helped a bit that he revealed himself, but you were still unsure how to… understand the situation.
He said your name, and it made you look at him. “Rest your worries when you’re by me, yeah?”
Those words fell into your stomach and twisted like a towel being squeezed. Though, somehow, in a way, you felt safer. A hesitant silence settles between you both, before you decide to speak up.
“Y–ou won’t hurt me?”  
Those stunning brown eyes take a moment to gaze into yours, searching something deeper in your meaning. Instead, all you could muster was eye contact that kept flickering to the floor and trying to calm your quickened breathing.
“What kind of man would I be if I did that, hm?” his voice is airy, tone-flimsy when asking his question. 
You swallowed thickly, “I want to know your name.”
“You do know my name, sweetheart,’” he coldly corrected you, “—use that smart brain of yours.”
Seconds blurred by you, trying to think – imagine what could or would be his name. But nothing came up. Nothing came to your brain, which, the man in front of you, hummed in acknowledgment at the state of your confused state. 
“Shame you don’t remember,” he started, a smirk curling on his face. “It’s Simon.”
Memories you didn’t know at the time came forward. 
Many things are given by that name — your favorite fast food being delivered to your home after a bad day, bouquets in expensive vases being delivered every week; cards given with clothes and money. And somehow, your insurance was now covering things they didn’t. 
Oh, and let’s not forget about the lingerie being sent. A note of: I hope to see you wear this tonight. Signed with initials: SR. 
At first, you thought it was Liam – but he was a cheapskate. Never liked spending money, especially on you. 
Your eyes widened, a bubble trapping itself in your throat — it was him. Police didn’t help, saying something along the lines of, ‘until they hurt you, we can’t do anything’. But when did they ever help? 
“So… what do you want, then?” you whisper, suddenly breathless with this proximity. You can see the gold-brown of his eyes clearly, the halo of honey flecks that cover the circumference of his pupil. His eyelashes flutter when he blinks, so pretty and… oddly feminine. 
“You.”
And just as he rasped that word, the banging on your front door started. The familiar yelling of Liam drowned out your thoughts, and his screaming made the two of you snap your head in the direction of the front door. 
He yelled out your name, and you flinched. Already feeling the bruising grabs, the constant screaming where your ears ring for hours. Oh god, what the hell did you do? 
“You– need to leave,” you ushered out, hands and legs shaking for the splinting images that shot through your head. 
He was banging on the door, jamming his fists; the handle being shaken so hard that it rattled stuck. It was all too much. 
Simon said your name, but you shook your head. Denying his existence. Danger was near, nobody would help save you. He needs to leave, he needs to leave, heneedstoleave—!
He grunted your name louder, and you looked at him with teary eyes; the small rivers turning into full tsunami’s. You couldn’t think. Breathe. He was here. Going to hurt you. He was going to die. So were you.
The door broke, the familiar thundering footsteps shook from across the house. And before you could react, Simon pushed you behind him — shielding you away from your abuser.  
“You—!” Liam screamed into the bedroom, a bottle of beer in one hand and his other clenched into a fist; his blue eyes burning into your stomach. You choked out a sob as he stepped further, but stopped at the sight of Simon. For once, Liam looked retched at his own thoughts. 
“Who the fuck are you?” he yelled, and the man only narrowed his eyes at Liam; challenging him with his height and quiet demeanor. 
“Get the fuck out.” his rough and dark voice sent shivers down your neck, making every hair stand up.
Liam scoffed, a plethora of curses voiced out, before he shut up. Your eyes narrowed, and as you looked at his shocked face, you saw a gun in view next — Simon’s finger gripping the trigger, aiming it at Liam’s head. 
Your heart leapt out. Fight or flight mode flicking on.
“Come on, man– we, we’re playing. Right—?” he chuckled out, and Simon grunted. 
In the dimmed room, you can see his high cheekbones and the absolute rage that is evident on his face, even hiding behind his mask. His hands are clenched around the gun tightly, finger curling even tighter around the trigger. 
“I’m not going to ask again; leave the fucking apartment.” 
Liam falsely chuckled, “O-or what? You’ll shoot me? Doubt you have the balls, my… guy.”
Within seconds, the gun went off — making you scream, closing your eyes, and covering your ears. Your fingernails scraped at your ears, making them ring. It hurt, not a single thought. Oh god, what the fuck happened? 
“—uck!” was all you could muster before you knelt to the ground, wrapping arms around yourself; teeth clenching down your lips as you felt— tasted blood. 
After a few minutes – or seconds – you open them up and find Liam, leaning on the wall for support, bleeding through his arm. There was so much– on the floor, on his hands. His eyes were widened, looking at the man in front of you; anger yet fear rising. 
He started hiccuping — more blood dripping down to the floor as he clenched his nearly wound. 
“Don’t ever let me see you again.”
Simon’s rough voice of threatening sent shivers down your body. Your breath hitched. Your body starts to shake as your eyes widen. Simon’s threat was enough for Liam to nod instantly, giving you one look before running out; not giving you a second look as it may not leave tonight with his face intact. 
You were about to say something, but the man cleared his throat and looked down at your shaking form. “Ya’ okay?”
You looked up at him, slowly nodding. In return, he said nothing, making you feel his eyes take in every detail of you. To your face and pupils, to your shaking legs and ragged breath. Yet, having never meeting you before, he gladly handed over his hand down to you. 
Looking up at his scarred hand, you hesitantly looked at it — large fingers, nails scratched and clear hangnails. You didn’t know what to do, other than grab it and strand up with his help. 
“Get your things.”
Your eyes narrowed, breath heaving. “Why?”
 He looked at you, brown pupils dilated. They were so feminine– pretty. His breath hitched, and a large hand grasped your shoulder. 
“Cause’ you’re gona’ be coming with me, forever.” 
Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking, stay well!!
© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
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Words: 3,844 Pairing: Negan x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria, after the war, Negan is imprisoned Warnings: language, mild gore (killing walkers) Summary: In lieu of Negan's failing mental health, Michonne looks for options and Y/N steps up to do her share. A/N: This is part 1 of a miniseries (maybe 3?? parts) for Negan that I've been working on! I started it as a one shot, but... you know me lol so here we are! Part 2 will be released next week on Wicked Wednesday! Happy reading! “I’m afraid we’ve got a problem,” Michonne said seriously. You exchanged a glance with Daryl.
“What kind of problem? Like, Annoying Steve is being annoying or a new horror is coming to destroy everything we have and love?” you asked wryly.
Daryl let out an appreciative dry laugh but Michonne remained serious. “Somewhere in the middle, I think,” she said. “It’s about Negan.”
Daryl swore and paced a tight circle. “Course it is. Somehow, it’s still always ‘bout him, ain’t it?” he growled.
Michonne forged ahead. “Gabriel is—fed up with him. There’s no other way to say it. He’s not trying to do anymore counseling and he needs a break. I don’t blame him. He’s taken on everything with Negan since—since Rick—”
You frowned, your brow furrowing as grief roared upwards in all of you. “What exactly is the problem?”
“His mental state is really deteriorating,” Michonne explained. “Being in there by himself all the time, just the odd hour or two outside, no one talking to him—”
“Why should we give a shit?” Daryl asked in a low, dangerous voice. “Ain’t the whole damn point of him bein’ in there so he has to suffer for what he did for the rest of his life? His mental state… Fuck. They fed me one fuckin’ dog food sandwich a day after they shoved me into a fucking closet naked. They —”
You reached over and put your hand on Daryl’s arm before he got further charged up. He stopped abruptly and drew in a long breath.
“I know. I know what he did, but no,” Michonne said. “The point isn’t for him to just suffer. If we do that, we become no better than him.”
Daryl glanced at you and let out an exasperated exhale. “Hell, ya already know what I think about it,” Daryl said firmly. “He shouldn’t even be breathin’ still. ‘M the wrong damn person to ask ‘bout this.”
Michonne sighed and leaned forward on her hands. “I’m just trying to honor Carl and—”
“We know,” you interrupted her quickly. You paused thoughtfully. “I—I can take this on. I’ve dealt with him the least so far out of the three of us. Probably makes it my turn.”
Daryl’s brow furrowed. “What’re ya gonna do? Rub his back while he cries? Hold his fuckin’ hand? I mean, how do we help somebody like him.”
Michonne shrugged. “A little more conversation to start, I think. He said being alone and the boredom is eating him alive. Maybe we come up with some more things for him to do outside the cell.”
You nodded. “I’ll brainstorm,” you said.
Daryl looked concerned, his eyes flickering over you. “Yer gonna have to be careful. He’s a manipulative asshole. And I dun trust a damn thing ‘bout him. If he can get out, he will. Don’t matter what he’d have to do.”
“I’ll be careful. I’m not an amateur, Daryl,” you said, shooting him a smile.
He nodded, ducking his head. “I know. I just gotta say it.”
“Are you sure?” Michonne asked. “It doesn’t have to be one of us. I can talk to some other people.”
“I’ve got it. I’ll start today. I’ll take him his meals and check on him, make sure he gets some time outside the cell. I’ll take care of it.”
_ _ _ _ _ _
Flat on his back, Negan heard the door open and shut but he barely moved. His eyes stayed closed and he heaved a heavy sigh, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose in some anticipation of annoyance. “Gabey-baby, I am not in the fucking mood for your guidance counselor horseshit today, so why don’t you just turn that tight little toosh around, waltz back out, and leave me the fuck alone…” he said.
“Wow. That was—gross…” you said.
Now, his eyes opened. This was something different. You were different. He swung his legs down and sat on the edge of his cot, his hazel eyes finding you and looking you over. “God Bless America, a change in the fucking monotony,” he said. “Is Gabe still mad at me?”
You approached his cell, tray in hand and nodded. “Yep. In fact, so pissed that he’s officially on vacation from you.”
“Gotta envy that,” Negan quipped. “How do I sign up for one of those?”
“A vacation from yourself?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “I don’t think that’s in the cards.”
“Damn. It was worth asking.” He seemed to be looking you over again and you rolled your eyes.
“My eyes are up here, Negan,” you joked.
His lips curled into a half-smile. “Sorry. But Gabe isn’t exactly my type and I don’t get much chance to look at anything so—”
“Just stop right there, okay?” you interrupted him. You slid his tray through the slot at the bottom of the door and straightened back up.
But Negan wasn’t interested in his breakfast. “It’s Y/N, isn’t it?” he asked.
“You know perfectly well what my name is, Negan,” you countered.
He cocked his head slightly. “You’re right about that,” he admitted. “So, what’s on the agenda?” he asked, finally moving to grab his tray. He returned to his cot and set it on the small side table.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Gabe was always counseling me. Trying to rehabilitate me. Were you a therapist or something in the old world?” He grabbed the small apple and shined it on his shirt before taking a bite.
“No. But we’re perfectly aware that your mental health has taken a nosedive recently,” you said.
Negan let out a low laugh. “And you give a shit?” he asked skeptically. “I nearly fucking destroyed all of you and you’re worried about my mental health?”
You sighed and nodded once, stiffly. “We’re not the same as you, Negan. We’re trying to do better. And Michonne wants to honor Carl’s vision.” You watched as Negan’s face fell. The look in his eyes grew distant and his shoulders slumped slightly.
“Yeah… He was a helluva kid,” Negan said.
“You don’t know the half of it,” you replied, taking a seat in the stiff wooden chair set outside his cell. “I watched him grow up from a scared little kid and survive everything this world threw his way. You have no idea what kind of loss that was.”
Negan was looking at you thoughtfully and you were surprised when he didn’t reply, only nodded, and then returned to his apple.
“The agenda is for me to—” you hesitated for a moment. What the hell was the agenda? “For me to help you how I can. I know you’re alone a lot and you probably need some company, a change of scenery every now and then, mental stimulation…”
Negan laughed and smirked. “That’s not the only kind of stimulation I need,” he said.
You glared at him. “Jesus, Negan…” you murmured, rolling your eyes.
“It’s the truth,” he laughed.
“Yeah, well, I’m not helping you with that. I guess you’ll just have to try your hardest to think back to one of your past six wives,” you sassed.
The grin stayed on his face. “Five,” he corrected you. Then, the smile faded. “But, uh, only the first really counted.” Negan’s head dropped and you watched him curiously.
He was struggling. You’d never sensed so much truth or vulnerability in a single thing that had left his lips.
“I see,” you said.
For some reason, this made him laugh again. “You know, Gabe used to say that all the time. It’s some of that non-value, non-judgement counselor language.”
You stood up suddenly and sighed. “Finish your breakfast. I’m gonna go do a few things and then I’ll be back. We’re gonna get you out of that cell for a while today.” You fixed a stern and perceptive look on him. “If you think you can behave.”
Negan looked curious. “For you? I might.”
You cocked your head at him and looked unamused. “You will, or I’ll fucking kill you.”
Negan laughed again and turned back to his food. “Got it.”
_ _ _ _ _ _
“Why don’t I come with ya?” Daryl asked, watching as you slipped the pistol into your holster.
You looked up at him with a furrowed brow. “You think I can’t handle this?” you asked.
“Not that ya can’t handle it. It’s just—it’s Negan. We all know what he’s fuckin’ capable of,” Daryl said, walking behind you out the front door and across the steps.
“You’re conflating past Negan with Negan now. I just talked to him, and I’m telling you—it’s like he’s been robbed of all his menace and power. He’s been sitting in that cell a long time, Daryl. I don’t think he’s the same and I don’t think he’s going to—to suddenly hit me over the head with a rock or something,” you said.
“But outside the walls? Already? Why dun ya just—just start with somethin’ in here first and see how it goes? That way there are other people around and I can stop by when I can and check in.”
You read the intense concern on Daryl’s face and then nodded. “Alright. We’ll stay in the walls today. But I think part of the problem with him is that he hasn’t seen a single different thing outside in too long. He’s going a little stir crazy in there and I can’t entirely blame him.”
“Yeah, well, he fuckin’ deserves it,” Daryl growled.
“He does. But Michonne is right… we should be trying to be better. Otherwise, we should have just killed him.” You paused, trying to come up with something for him to do that would give him a little exercise and change of pace. “I’ll have him help me clear out that area for the new garden plots. There are some plants to harvest over there anyway before we clear it. It’ll teach him something too.`”
Daryl nodded. “ ‘Kay. I’ll stop by and check in,” he drawled. “Just be careful. Dun let yer guard down.”
“You know I never do.” You turned and headed back toward Negan’s cell.
Negan rose from his seat on his cot, the tray from breakfast sitting empty beside him on the small side table. He watched as you withdrew a ring of keys from your back pocket and fiddled with them a moment as you stood in front of the cell door, eyeing the lock. Was this a good idea?
Negan took a few cautious steps toward you, watching your face intensely. “Am I… getting out on good behavior, warden?” he quipped, flashing you a half-smile. It seemed to draw you back out from your reverie.
“Temporarily,” you replied, finally fitting the key into the lock and turning it. The metallic clunk was striking. “If you can handle it…” you added.
The pistol on your hip wasn’t lost on Negan. He nodded. “I think so,” he said. “What’re we doing? Hard labor?”
“Not so hard,” you said. “But I would appreciate your help with something.”
Negan froze just after stepping out of the cell and fixed a queer look on you. “Appreciate?” he repeated.
You nodded. “Mhm…”
His eyebrows lifted. “You better be careful with the way you’re talkin’ to me, Y/N. I might just fall in love with you,” he chuckled. “I haven’t felt appreciated in… oh, I don’t know—how long have I been in here?” he asked, brushing a hand back through his hair.
“Didn’t Gabriel speak nicely to you?” you asked, shutting the cell door behind him, giving him a questioning glance.
“Well, sure. Or maybe not nicely. He was at least neutral,” Negan said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “I think I ruined that though.”
You shook your head and sighed. “Yeah, he’s not pleased with you, Negan,” you agreed. “Look, this is just a test run. We’re staying in Alexandria today, but eventually… I’d like to get you outside of the walls on occasion.” Negan looked shocked. “Obviously, that’s going to take trust,” you emphasized. “But I think it would do you good.” You hesitated, wondering if you should admit this to him, but you decided it would be good for him to hear it. “You’re not the same as you were when you were locked in here. And—I intend on finding out if you can really be rehabilitated. Not that I’m ever going to forget what you’ve done… but there’s got to be more than this,” you said, gesturing to the cell behind him, “in your future. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
“You’ve just explained exactly what has me so depressed,” Negan admitted. “I’ve spent most of the last however many fucking years wishing Rick had just killed me.”
Those words hung in the air like a toxic cloud. You gulped and couldn’t help feeling an ache of compassion at his words. Compassion for Negan. What a peculiar thought… You tilted your head toward the door. “Come on. Follow me and stay close. And let me be perfectly clear; I will shoot you if you try to pull any bullshit,” you emphasized.
He nodded, his expression surprisingly serious. “Got it.”
You led him out into the summer sunshine and walked through Alexandria until you reached the overgrown section near the wall that you planned to tackle for the day. The two of you had gotten plenty of stares as you moved down the street, but you noticed that Negan had mostly kept his head down. His shoulders were somewhat slumped and he made no witty comments on the walk, though you caught him closing his eyes to enjoy the breeze or staring up at the blue expanse of sky overhead multiple times.
He stopped beside you, his hands in his pockets, as you stared at the tall grass and brambles ahead and sighed.
“What’re we doin’, boss?” he asked.
“We’re going to start clearing this area out so eventually we can put in some new garden plots. But there’s a little more to it. We used to have some medicinal plants in here before it got overgrown. I’m hoping to find them and save them for transplanting, so we can’t just start ripping everything out.”
“How the hell am I supposed to know what’s medicinal and what’s not?” he asked.
“I’m gonna teach you,” you said confidently.
Negan laughed a little at the assertion. “Look, doll… I was a gym teacher in the old world. ‘Not Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,’” he said.
Your eyebrows lifted. “Wow. That was a deep bench reference,” you said.
He smirked at you. “I was pretty proud of it myself,” he said.
You couldn’t help a dry laugh and small shake of your head. “It’s not that hard. We’ll work together to start and I’ll show you how to identify them. The grasses can all be pulled, but we’ll identify the broadleaf plants and get them ready for transplanting if they’re something we can use.”
Negan looked skeptical but shrugged. “Well, you’re the boss. Not like I’ve got a full schedule,” he said.
“Exactly,” you agreed. There was a reason you weren’t just having him pull all the grass and doing the rest yourself. Negan was smart and not having any mental stimulation was probably contributing a lot to his mental health issues. If you gave him a task that was a little physical and a little mental, you were hoping it’d give him a sense of purpose and productivity.
You got started right away, mainly just pulling the grasses and clearing a large area that remained dotted with forbs. It was summer and the respiration of the plants you were sitting in made the air humid. It wasn’t long before you were wiping at sweat along your hairline and stopping to push wet strands back out of your face. For a while, you worked in silence beside Negan, only speaking to instruct him, but he finally tried to start some conversation on his own.
“So, what the hell did you do in the old world anyway? Were you some kind of plant guru?” he asked, pausing to pull off his gloves for a moment and get a drink from the canteen you’d provided for him.
You paused, standing up to look down at him where he knelt in the grass. He was sweaty too, like you were, and his dark blue shirt was clinging to his back in the heat. “I don’t think I owe you my backstory, Negan,” you said. Your tone wasn’t unkind, but it was a little stern.
“Aw, come on. This is part of that trust-building thing you mentioned earlier,” he said, taking another drink. “I’m just trying to figure you out a little bit,” he said.
You crossed your arms and surveyed him. “So, you can better manipulate me when it’s beneficial to you?” you asked.
“What? No,” he said with surprise, and you almost believed him. “I mean—I currently have no concrete plans to manipulate you…” he admitted, a small bit of jest in his voice. “I’m bored all the time in that fuckin’ cell. I could sure use the conversation. Isn’t that what this is about? My ‘mental health’,” he quoted, shooting an expectant look at you.
You sighed. “What do you wanna know?”
Negan licked his lips and then smiled, thinking about what he wanted to ask, but before he could say a word, bootsteps behind the two of you caused you both to look over to see Daryl standing there.
You went to greet him, pulling off your gloves.
“How’s it goin’?” he asked in an undertone, glancing past you to shoot a glare at Negan.
You shrugged. “Fine. It’s been completely fine so far.”
Daryl nodded, but still looked suspicious. “He ain’t tried anythin’?”
You shook your head, dusting the soil from your gloves. “Nope. We’re just working.”
Daryl nodded, still clearly apprehensive. “Well, s’almost noon. Get him back to his cell by 1 and I’ll bring his meal down,” he drawled.
“I can take care of that,” you offered.
“S’fine. I wanna have a word with him anyway.” He put his hand on your shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze, giving you a small smile. “Yer doin’ enough for him. Be careful.”
“Okay,” you agreed, nodding. “See you later.”
When you turned around, you noticed Negan had been watching the interaction carefully. There was a thoughtful look on his face, but when you simply returned and got back to work, he joined you again in silence. You continued on for another hour or so, managing to clear quite a wide area by the time you needed to get Negan back to his cell for a late lunch. You walked beside him, both of you now dirty and plenty sweaty, and your hand strayed to the handle of your pistol again absently.
Negan noticed and broke the silence that had stretched for what felt like a long time. “You’re a fuckin’ great shot with that thing,” he said, nodding toward the gun.
“What?” you asked, turning to look at him, puzzled.
“I said, ‘you’re a great shot’,” he repeated. You still looked confused. “I noticed… during the war,” he said. “I mean—I noticed you but also your aim.” You stared at him, your brow furrowed. “You almost blew Simon’s fuckin’ head off,” he said with a laugh. “If he hadn’t flinched at the last second…” Negan let out a low whistle.
“How’d you know that was me?” you asked.
He shrugged. “Like I said, I noticed you.”
You looked… unsettled? Uneasy? Negan couldn’t quite define it, but there was some sort of tension in the air as you walked him back the rest of the way and finally locked him inside his cell again.
He gripped onto the bars and watched you turn away before he managed to get your name out. You turned toward him again, the high arch of your brow inquiring. “Thanks,” he said. “For today. It was the best fuckin’ day I’ve had in a while,” he admitted.
You gave him a baffled look. “I made you work outside in the sun all morning,” you laughed.
“Yeah… but I wasn’t alone. And I’ve had waaaaay worse company. Just—even if you decide you can’t do more than today, I want you to know that it mattered to me. Thanks.”
That look was on your face again, some mix of surprise and bewilderment. Finally, you sighed. “Daryl’s gonna bring you lunch. I’ll see you later, okay, Negan?”
He nodded, still gripping onto the cold, iron bars of his cell, and watched you walk out.
A short time later, Negan had washed his hands and splashed cool water from his basin over his face, dabbing at it with his small scratchy towel, when he heard the door open again. He looked up to see Daryl coming in with a tray of food and a scowl. He set it down by the slot at the bottom of the cell door and pushed it roughly through with the toe of his boot, almost spilling the water cup. Daryl’s expression didn’t change. It was stony and guarded.
Negan eyed him and then wandered over to grab the tray. He did feel hungry for once, something that had been rare for quite some time. When he straightened up, Daryl’s blue eyes were narrow and stinging.
Negan grabbed the apple off his tray and took a big bite. It was sweet and crunchy, satisfying and refreshing after being in the sun all morning. “Something on your mind, Daryl?” Negan asked, a faint smile on his lips.
Daryl stepped closer, right up to the bars. “Yeah. One thing. If ya fuck up, if ya try to hurt Y/N, if ya pull anythin’ I dun like, I don’t give a shit what Michonne or anybody else is tryin’ to do—I don’t give a shit about your rehab, I’ll put ya in the fuckin’ ground. Got it?”
That smile was still on Negan’s face, annoying the shit out of Daryl.
“I mean it, Negan. Ya hear me?”
“Loud and clear,” he said, taking another bite.
“Good,” he growled, and the archer left.
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bridgetoesoteria · 7 months
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💌💟Realistically...What would they write in a love letter to you?
Surpriseee bish! Here is my double post as puh-romised. Its spring break, I aced my midterm, I had a nice lil chit chat with my crush where I high key let on to having feelings . *ahem* Now I wanna smoke and pull cards with my internet besties <3
So, I don't like those mushy-gushy readings that tell you the most ideal outcome, not the most realistic outcome. I am hoping to channel an authentic "letter," from the person you are here for.
Options are left to right. I hope it resonates 🥰
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Pile 1
4-card spread: Page of Swords, Girl w/ Violin, Strength, The Sun. BOTD: 3 of Swords
I just want to see you happy. I hope you know that. I miss the feeling of you holding me. I think about all the times, I got to hold your hands in mine. I think you are amazing and angelic. If I ever seem difficult, or like I am pushing you away, its just because I don't want to hurt you even worse. You're the whole package. You can shine with or without me.
If there is still bad blood, I will make it right. At least that's what I think about doing. All the time. Can I step up? Can I really have my happy ending; The car, the house, the family, building a life together. I need to get over my cold feet, because the only person I see is you.
P.S.
I love your eyes. I love how much hope I feel when I look into them. I love your hair, especially the length/thickness. I love how balanced you are, and how you can consider different points of view. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taught me to care about someone other than myself. You show me that I can get over my demons. We could be a power couple.
(If you have a "butt chin," your person loves this too lol)
Pile 2
4-card spread: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords(R), 9 of Wands, The Star. BOTD: The Emperor
This person is definitely very attracted to you, but we are here for a love letter, mkay? Not a sext.
I don't know why you are acting like you don't want me anymore. You better not be giving away my ____ to anyone else. I want to be with you. I consider us to be a couple, no matter what happens. If you question where my head is at, my loyalty is with you. I don't want to see you with anyone else. I hate thinking about you being out there, living like you're single. I think about us having kids, animals, a family life. (If you already have kids they want to keep the family together).
I am working on my temptations. I know I need to be more responsible and I am willing to do that. I want to try having self-control. If that means cutting other people off, or waiting until you are comfortable being physical, I will do that. I respect your boundaries. You have every right to have them. I know you are just trying to love yourself. You should always stand your ground...even with me.
P.S.
You have a beautiful heart. You are so nurturing. You keep everything flowing. You completely fulfill me. You are more than enough. You definitely know what you are doing. I wouldn't have taken you for a "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" type.
Right now, you probably are focusing on yourself. I hope you find the happiness that you are looking for. After pouring into everyone else so much, I hope you will start pouring into you now. I hope you will be receptive to all the good things you deserve.
Pile 3
4-card spread: Ace of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, Page of Cups, The Empress. BOTD: Justice
I can't figure you out. And its...amazing! It keeps everything so fresh. Maybe you don't feel like you are being mysterious but you are. I want to know what goes on "behind-the scene." I don't mean that in a pervy way. I mean, I want to know who you are, where you come from, what is currently going on in your life. I want to make the cut. Do you ever think about what your favorite diamond cut is? 💎
(Where ever your connection is, move up a step. This is not a literal proposal for everyone)
I want us to be on track. If I have to apologize, I will do that. I want to finally start something new. I want to make you feel like the king/queen that you are. I want us to be happy together. Especially if we are expecting 🤰
P.S.
Can I just brag on you really quick? I love your face shape. I love when we lock eyes. I love how you style your hair, even if I have never said so aloud. Even if I tease you about it sometimes. Its cute and so you. Everyone says we (would) go well together, and I have to agree. We could be our town's MGK and Megan Fox 🤣🤣
On a more serious point, you make me want to do better. Internally, I always feel challenged by you. I have my old beliefs, and then there's you. You make me want to throw out all the BS I believe about myself and start valuing myself more. I see how magical life can be, because I see how many miracles happen when we are together. I know I can do better.
Pile 4 4-card spread: 8 of Wands, 10 of Wands, The Emperor, 8 of Swords. BOTD: Ace of Swords.
(Your person could actually be the type to spill their feelings over texts or in the notes section of their phone)
I think about saying this all the time. I build up the courage to start typing, but I can never hit send. I just feel this lump in my throat. I'm a man! (or they are just someone who suppresses their emotions). I shouldn't have all these feelings. I feel overwhelmed by my attraction, my thoughts, my unexpressed feelings.
That's kind of what I grew up with. It was normal. People call it "traditional." I always thought (one of their parents, but I am really getting mom) could do better. Why are you still with them? I don't want that to be you. I don't want that to be our story. You always carry yourself well. I'm proud to be with you. I know you're a catch. I know you are the full package. I can't let you go. Please reconsider. I want to be with you.
P.S.
I hope you're getting rest. Don't lose sleep over me. Which is hypocritical, because I stay up thinking about you. Don't be scared...but I may have watched you sleep. I like how peaceful you look. I feel like I have privacy to fully process my emotions. I look at your face and I think about all the possibilities. It makes me nervous. If I have made a proposal of some kind, maybe to reconcile, I hope you sleep on it before you make a decision.
Pile 5 4-card spread: King of Cups, 4 of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Sun. BOTD: 8 of Swords
I think a lot of you are asking about a feminine energy, but flip the roles if needed. You could be the feminine energy being described, so maybe they want you to know you are "seen". It just started raining, so that makes me feel like this person is definitely more on the feminine side, or in touch with their emotions. You could both be young, or they're younger, or someone has a baby face.
I think about you all the time. Even when I am sad. I don't know if you know how much I struggle. My mental health isn't always in the best place. But you take my mind off of everything. I love when you look deep in thought. I come up with all these random ideas about what you could be thinking of. If you are away getting better, overcoming an ED, I hope you are being strong. I look forward to seeing you again.
You make me so happy. I miss being playful and messing with you. I could see us having babies. I think I would be a great mom/dad. But I know that's daydreaming and wishful thinking. I don't always understand your moods or what you want from me. Could you make it clear without it becoming an argument. I don't want to make you upset.
P.S.
You are soo pretty. I think your haircut really compliments your face. I love your side profile too. You are so smart. You know so much about the world around you or you are always willing to learn. I am impressed by your writing and/or creativity. I love everything about you. If I were an artist, I would make a portrait of you. You would be my muse. I just want you to know how special you are. You are 1 of 1 forreal. I am so grateful to have ever met you. You bring so much joy to my life.
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Whew. GD! That was a lot lol. This took me two days. I am going to relax and enjoy the start of Spring Break. Whoop whoop 🙌
And don't laugh at me...but I just discovered archives so I might stop updating my masterlist, since you can find all my readings there too.
Lastly, I am also doing personals if you have not heard! Take a gander.
~ K
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lilacstro · 2 months
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pac: what big thing is coming next for you and when
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on the suggestions of @darkbragance I would be making this post.
choose from 2 piles, idk why 2 and not 3 but yeah, choose as you like :)
paid readings open !
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pile1 pile2
support me on ko-fi :)
⭐decks used: spirit speaks tarot, poesis oracle and vessel oracle for energy check
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Pile 1
Energy check:
Did some of you travel to your childhood home or thought about it recently? Seems so. Some of you have been working on finding balance and structure in life I feel. Some of you could be overwhelmed with how tiring your life is, especially at home I feel. Maybe there is a responsibility on you all to always serve and be ready to give, to manage problems and give people structure either at your home or maybe even at your workplace. Some of you could also be tired of being stuck at home, finding work-life balance or wanting to travel somewhere that is not happening. Some of you could also be travelling back in time, thinking about the past a lot, especially childhood nostalgia. Did some of you like collecting stones or crystals as a child? Color green is coming through, an emerald crystal. There seems to be the thought of wanting to go back because the situation currently feels painful. There is a desire to go back in time, to travel somewhere mentally and physically and get out of this exhausting cycle. There is desire to escape and avoid pain. Some of you could be dreaming about your childhood home, children or even past memories, liking very old, as if digging the grave. There is a feeling of loneliness. Good luck babe is constantly playing in my head, maybe it is relevant to someone here? Special focus on "You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling" and this is what I have been feeling in this group. Someone here is distracted and definitely needs a wakeup call.
If this sounds like you, this is your pile<3
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Main messages:
Someone here is definitely feeling isolated, or they have distanced themselves from other people, but they will find meaning in isolation. Someone here could be feeling frustrated, lashing out on small things. Ok so instead of writing a paragraph I would list out all the things I see happening! You may see what resonates with your situation :)
If you were willing to start a project or taking some kind of brave action (even if it is just a simple confession of love for example, or maybe going back to school because too much time has passed etc.) but was afraid of starting for whatever reason, you would get strength to start and take action!
if someone was wanting to travel somewhere, move somewhere, study abroad, travel abroad and if money became a problem, or maybe your father or some authority figure, say visa services became problem, you would be fine and would be able to travel regardless
If someone has been working hard to get some award, achievement or rank, especially globally, it could be happening!
If someone was willing to work with people all over the world, especially in regards to money, maybe working on a worldwide freelancing site or maybe even social media to get foreign customers to get money, that could also be happening :)
If someone felt hopeless about a situation, especially regarding finances, maybe lost money even for some of you, you guys would be able to recover the money and get the money arranged. Someone could be offering you money I feel :)
If someone was wishing to get stability especially in regards to their home and family, or maybe seek approval of a father or authority figure in family for something, they could be getting approval for what they've been wanting.
There is a happy ending to all the situations above :)
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Expected Timeline:
This is happening very very soon, you could also be receiving some kind of communication too, especially. If we talk about particular date, we have November 23 - December 2 or 8 weeks of a time.
I hope it resonated, take care xoxo
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Pile 2
Energy check:
This feels like a rather hopeful, accepting energy, both in a happy and a sad way, as if you are hopeful but at the same time you have accepted the current circumstances. There is not a turbulence like pile 1. I am hearing "its just the way life goes, I push my luck it shows" from Gracie Abram's song I love you, I'm sorry. There is a fresh energy here, a very good chance to grow and evolve, you are growing and changing and I may rather say, blooming. Someone here may like spring or sitting in the sun in winters, it may feel healing. You guys have absolutely not given up, there is a silent rebel kind of energy, you know it is not over and that you will rise back up again, but for now you are not mad and turbulent about it, but rather calm and peaceful and accepting, as if, "what worse can even happen, its fine" There is a lot of wisdom you are gaining currently that would helping you for the fresh start of your journey you would be preparing. I am seeing you would be ready to take a leap and go seek what it is that you want. But for now, it is important to let your emotions out and grieve, even if it means that you will lose your composure. I am constantly seeing the message that says "it gets better". If you were wanting something to happen, know you'd have many choices, either it can be done some other way you do not know yet, or maybe people would help you or you find better things, so many that you can literally choose from them. Keep your heads up:) it would be fine I promise :) Seeking out support with people you love is a good idea for now, and if you are alone, I would suggest joining support groups or maybe creating an account that just follows motivational, uplifting content, but you need to open yourself, there is a possibility to find help between people. If this sounds like you, congrats this is your pile :) Keep your heads up princess by Anson Seabra is playing in my head especially the line,
"Yeah, keep your head up princess, it's a long road And the path leads right to where they won't go I know it hurts right now but you don't got far to go So keep your head up Yeah, keep your head up"
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Main messages:
I feel some of you could be grieving a loss of something falling down, and maybe you just let it fall altogether before picking it back up once again. Maybe you held onto something that you are letting go, releasing for now.
If any of you were stuck onto something in life, especially mentally, you would be able to find your answers, find balance and finally move ahead in life
There is a mental clarity that may come on why did something not work out for you. Someone may also get clearer decision making skills on their current choices, and may also find contentment in their current choices and how to find a way to move on with current options
Some of you could be calming down the chaos by finally being able to get control and authority, either it may be mental conflict or conflict with someone else, especially people who you may work with is one thing I see
If someone was trying to manifest a love offer, to find a new romantic partner that seems to be happening !
if someone was looking to start a new creative project, a passion project that they wanted to start for a long time, that seems to be happening too!
Some of you could be breaking out of cycles of substance abuse or maybe something toxic in your life, breaking free from falling back into some kind of addiction, breaking free from spiraling and that can be any sabotaging habit
One intuitive message I am getting is the ground is fertile, whatever you sow, you would equally gain back, what I mean is whatever is it you are wanting to do right now, putting your efforts into, your fruits and flowers would blossom. It would reap you rewards, whatever it is that you are working for, a relationship, healing, money etc.
Some of you could also be getting out of depression or a depressed mental state after a long time, spring after the winter is what I am hearing
you could also be getting clarity or news about someone or something that troubled you in the past, some truth about why did it not work out
many options would be available to something that stressed you out mentally, a job, college, relationship, you name it, you would be able to chose rather being stuck with a single option. Wait, I think I did something in the energy check as well, interesting!
someone could also be getting into their dream school or travel somewhere for education is one other thing I see.
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Expected Timeline:
As long as you are taking fearless action is one thing I see. Apart from that Fixed sign season (Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus), Sagittarius Season/Capricorn Season, November, 1 month from now, 11 weeks from now or quite unexpectedly are the messages that I see, There is definitely an element of divine timing here, and your actions and both of them seem to influence each other. Damn that is a lot of timings.
thank you for reading, have a good day :)
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