#maybe your opinion will change about aster once you know them more

[b-r-i-n-g-x]

I've been receiving ask and comments about how much you guys wanna kill Aster and I want you guys to quit it.

I understand you hate them because of chapter 2 but you all first haven't seen more of them yet (you cant judge a book by just of its cover) and second

THIS IS @shygirl4991 'S OC!!

It hurt us both to see how you'd blood kill down a character that they made, and we are afraid we soon receive arts and fics about making Aster a really bad guy which we wish not to see.

Please from now on don't send comments you wannna kill Aster, nor we'd like to NOT receive any fic or art about someone beating them up or make them a hardcore villain

There are only two chapters from fragile soul. They haven't even done anything yet to be hated like this.

[lover-of-queens]

Farah Dowling is Alive Part 2

The follow up to Part 1 or as I like to call it: look mom, I told you this degree would have uses in the real world! 

If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, you can find Part 1: Here 

You know the drill, under the cut cause this is probably going to get long!

Episode 4: Some Wrecked Angel

Episode opens with our favourite trio. If you’ve read the first part then you’ll be familiar with my argument that it could be possible the writers are leaving Farah x Saul threads to pick up at a later date. I think this scene has some interesting ones. There’s a lot of effort in this scene to set Farah and Saul up as parallels - in a way that also makes them stand apart from Ben. We have them saying his name together, but also, when they discover Callum’s body, both Farah and Saul are in sync as they move into a kneeling position. 

I don’t necessarily know if this could be considered an argument for them bringing Farah back, however, in the scene with Farah, Stella and Luna, Stella brings up an interesting point about Farah’s pedagogy. We’re told that Farah chooses care and time over “solely results” when it comes to teaching. In the next episode we learn Rosalind’s own teaching style involves putting her students “through hell”. I don’t necessarily know when the change will happen but given this, I don’t see any way Rosalind can remain Headmistress, especially when they’re taking pains to show Farah as better suited for the role.

Also important in this scene is Farah and Luna’s last exchange. We know what appearances Luna has helped Farah maintain - the barrier/illusion that stops Aster Dell from being seen. So, what’s interesting is Farah’s next line:

Farah: “Yes, we’ve both done a great deal to preserve Solaria’s reputation.” 

This does not get addressed during the remaining episodes. Personally, this line and the amount of tension between Farah and Luna also strikes me as a potential thread that could be picked up later. I’m going to wager that I’m not alone in wanting to know what exactly they did to “preserve” Solaria’s rep. And my guess is, because Brian has mentioned that they’re going to expand on the winx world, we’re going to be finding out more about Solaria in S2. Theoretically, I suppose whatever event that is being referenced here could be dealt with without Farah on screen, but then we’d miss out on all the fun tension! Also, as of right now, fan response to Luna is nothing compared to Farah (at least from what I’ve seen). 

Tattoo theory, several people have already spoken on this and I don’t want to speak over them. I’m still sorting out my own thoughts on whether it’s Farah’s or Eve’s but I will say that Farah is always wearing rings so it seems to me that if they wanted it covered they could easily do it with a ring (or makeup). If the tattoo is purposely put there then I’m going to assume its for a reason that the writers may want to deal with at a later date (hint, hint: bring back Farah). 

Episode 5: Wither Into the Truth

I may do another post on this at some point if I can find enough to say to warrant it but Farah’s eye colour when she does magic. Up until now every time Farah’s done magic her eyes have glowed blue and yet in the scene where she questions Beatrix they glow light orange. Now I’d always assumed that the colour of the glow = element, which was why I didn’t know why Farah’s glowed blue to begin with; she’s a mind fairy so I would have expected the purple that Musa has. And actually the confirmation of her being a mind fairy comes from Fate’s IG page shown below, I don’t know if it’s ever explicitly stated in the show? Further, to my knowledge, Farah is the only fairy we’ve seen whose eyes glow different colours. So, a thread to pick up in season 2, perhaps? 

Also I’m very interested in the use of the word “Once”. In this instance I would almost take it to mean ‘no longer is’ but the tense is present perfect (I think?) which can suggest the continuance of an action. But now I’m being overly nitpicky and technical. Also I don’t know how ‘principle’ made it through what I’m assuming are several stages before making it onto IG, but it gave me a laugh!

“Incredibly powerful” yet loses to Rosalind without a fight? Not buying it. Additionally, the use of “other forms of magic” is interesting and I figure could be taken to mean other elements. But I wonder if there’s more to it than just that. Farah shows knowledge of archaic Fairy Magic with the Nettle Amalgam, so maybe there’s more archaic knowledge out there that she knows ... that could prove helpful. 

Now, back to the episode. When Farah and Hologram Luna are talking, the fact that there are two burned ones travelling together is cause for concern. 

Farah: “There are two of them travelling together. That hasn’t happened since … In a long time.” 

Once again we are left with a thread of something that has happened. In the same IG post as above, in the section for Saul, it mentions that he and Farah became confidants “after experiencing the Black Woods Massacre”. I wonder if that could be what Farah’s referring to here? I know the massacre has come up once or twice in conversation and correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t believe it’s ever been properly explained? To me, it looks like a great bit of backstory to get into at a later date. It may not confirm Farah being alive necessarily, but you could take it as a sign that we might see Eve again. 

Lastly, for this episode, is the scene between Farah and Bloom. Specifically this part: 

Farah: “I will help you get the answers you need. I give you my word.” 

You can probably guess what I’m going to say at this point, a thread that can be picked up in season 2! You could counterargue that Rosalind could help Bloom with answers (as she offers in the next episode) but in my humble opinion, I don’t think it would offer narrative satisfaction. First, because we’ve been shown what a terrible mentor Rosalind is. Second, they’ve spent the first season showing how Farah and Bloom’s mentor-student relationship has developed (bloomed?) so it seems a waste to go through all of that development for nothing. 

Episode 6: A Fanatic Heart

Rosalind has her little prison break. Personally, I still think there’s a lot of unanswered questions about what happened after Aster Dell, how they imprisoned Rosalind, etc. And I do hope that we get some answers in Season 2 - again these answers may not necessarily involve Farah on the screen but as every writer gets told the age old advice of “show, don’t tell”, I think there’s potential for that. 

Farah immediately tries to disprove my points about her intelligence by wandering alone in the woods at night. But she’s pretty, so I’ll allow it. 

Rosalind gives Bloom some answers but not all, so I do think that my point above about Farah helping Bloom find more answers still stands. Further, I find the Farah is Bloom’s mother theory to be unlikely for several reasons (this is not the post for them) but I do want to draw our attention to several lines of dialogue here. 

Bloom: “You hid me from Miss Dowling.” ….

Rosalind: “The guidance you needed was love. Farah couldn’t give that to you. Vanessa and Michael could.” 

There are SO many reasons why this exchange is fascinating. I’m interested in why Bloom brings up Farah to begin with - her other points could stand alone to the same affect. I’m also really interested in the direct comparison between Farah and Bloom’s adoptive parents -- if Bloom hadn’t gone to them, she would have gone to Farah? It almost seems as though the direct comparison implies that. Also, considering Bloom’s relationship with her adoptive parents, I really doubt the validity of the statement. Plus, I wouldn’t trust Rosalind’s idea of love in general. 

Also, Rosalind is just so certain that Farah couldn’t love Bloom … can’t love in general? There’s just so much of Farah and Rosalind’s relationship that hasn’t been explored that I think really needs to be. 

Now, the scene that always makes me cry! Farah and Bloom have had a difficult time this season and it’s all lead up to this moment of trust and vulnerability - on both sides. If you ask me, this season has been setting Farah up to be the mentor figure that Rosalind was not - Rosalind’s opposite. And they’ve worked hard at it, even when they were trying to convince us Farah might be the evil one which like lmao. I find it hard to believe that they would go through all of that work just to discard it by leaving Farah dead. Especially because what Farah admits to Bloom in this sequence feels like a changing moment for her - she recognizes things she wishes she would have done differently (being less of a figurehead, being more open) and I think its only fair that Fate allows her to follow through on those things. 

And onto the scene that I really don’t want to rewatch but I’m going to do it for y’all. I’ve touched on Farah x Saul moments so it’s only fair that I touch on Farah x Rosalind ones. There is tension here (looking at each other’s lips, Rosalind getting closer to Farah, Farah grabbing her), I mean the cast has joked about shipping them. But there are several different ways to read this and you are more than welcome to your pick! It doesn’t really change my point, which is … thread to pick up in season 2? Have you started taking a shot every time I’ve said that (please don’t <3). 

Farah who has shown herself to be incredibly intelligent and cautious when it comes to Rosalind turns her back on her. And we get what is probably the most important piece of evidence: the eye glow. It can mean absolutely anything, but I’d wager one of the reasons its there is to have people do exactly what I’m doing here. Theorizing about whether Farah could still be alive. I’m going to take that as a sign there’s hope (mainly because I think it would be cruel to suggest a ‘could she come back narrative’ and then … not have her come back). Also, in the Fate novel, it describes Farah’s death as “too easy”. I absolutely refuse to believe that it could be easy to kill Farah when she’s proved time and time again how powerful she is. 

That finishes my episode by episode analysis. It totals well over 2500 words. If you can believe me, I still have more to say on this topic (discussing general counterarguments and possible logistics of Eve’s filming), so stay tuned for a Part 3?

[popatochisssp]

Are any of the new guys ok with being child free? (I keep having to explain to my fam how I'm NOT EVER going to have kids) And I'd like some solidarity from fictional skeletons.

Broadly speaking, I think all of them would be okay with that! In general, all the boys’ idea of the future is uncertain and something they need to work out with their s/o, so that informs the perspective a lot.

I truly don’t think ‘no kids’ or ‘yes kids’ would be an explicit deal-breaker for any of them, but in terms of where their thoughts naturally fall about the topic:

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a no: Sky (Underswap Sans), Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus), Ash (Undergloom Sans), Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Genuinely neutral or undecided: Sans (Undertale), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a yes: Papyrus (Undertale), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans), Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus)

But like I said... they’re flexible, because your relationship and the future they want to have with you doesn’t work without... well, you!

If you’re a ‘definitely no kids’ person and you see your skeleton in the ‘yes’ category, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed-- it just means a couple conversations about it to convey your thoughts...and depending on the level of gungho for having kids he is (most aren’t married to it), maybe agreeing to a compromise where you adopt an animal or two and be dog/cat/iguana/whatever-the-hell parents.

Same goes for a ‘yes i want kids’ person who sees their skeleton of choice in the ‘no’ section, that’s just where they are before talking it all out with you. Some time and a few conversations to understand where everybody’s coming from and how to move forward, they’re willing to negotiate.

Kids or no kids, neither is a deal-breaker, it’s all fine and you can work it out together!

Y’know what, while I’m at it, here’s just the basic thought processes of all of them, just to give a little peek into their skulls on the matter...

Sans (Undertale): Kids are fun, doesn’t have any particularly strong desire to have one of his own, but he raised his kid brother for awhile and he knows it’s something he can do, if it’s what you want.

Papyrus (Undertale): Kids are great and he’d be a great parent, he just knows it! You’d be a great parent, too! ...But if that’s not what you want to do, then that’s okay. There’s plenty of other great things for you to do together in life!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Kids are wonderful, but raising his little brother solo after their dad disappeared... That was hard and he definitely wasn’t ready for the responsibility. It was a humbling experience and he refuses to commit to having kids of his own until he’s sure it’s something he sincerely, passionately wants.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Feels awkward around kids, as a rule, and also kind of thinks of himself as a (mostly contained, at least) disaster of a skeleton. Is he ready for the responsibility of being in charge of a brand new being’s growth and development??? Not sure! Not sure at all!

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He likes kids alright... thinks about maybe having some of his own someday, the idea of a family is nice, in his head... but he definitely isn’t sure about the reality. Worries about if he’d be a good enough parent, or if his kids (if he were to have them) would resent him or just not like him. It’s a nice idea, but nothing’s set in stone for him.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Honestly never thought about it. Part of him fully expected to die Underground in some battle or other, or excepting that, he wouldn’t find a partner who’d want to be with him long-term, much less long enough that he could make a family with them. He’s not...explicitly opposed to it, but he also hasn’t given it a lot of thought at all. He’ll need time to sort out his feelings, whatever his partner’s opinions on potential kids are.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Terrified, petrified to have kids of his own. Being around them is...fine, but... He’s got a lot of issues tied up with his...parent... and having to be a pseudo-parent to his own brother at a very young age, it’s made him worry about repeating patterns and failing, hurting, damaging, or otherwise doing his own children a disservice, if he were to have them-- even as a grown and well-situated adult. If kids are something his partner really wants, they’ve got those insecurities to talk about with him for sure.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He’s actually really good with kids, he relates to them well and always just talks to them like people, so of course they love him. But having his own... That, he’s not sure about. He’s definitely a little bit of a disaster, and still working on a lot of Adult Life Skills, and the thought of being in charge of a whole entire brand new person is more than a little scary. Not sure if he’s ready for that step--or if he’ll ever be!

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Loves kids, and loves the idea of a big family. He’s had more than enough death, life is very appealing to him and a full house honestly sounds wonderful. ...But he does have some memory issues, a dash of narcolepsy, and some hard, dissociative days that make him worry he might not be a very good parent. He’d do his best to do right by his kids if he ends up having them, of course he would, but if that’s just not in the cards for him, that wouldn’t be the end of the world. He’s the one who’d definitely want to bring in some furbabies if two-legged babies aren’t on the table, and he’d still be a very, very happy man!

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): He likes kids, but doesn’t have many strong feelings on having his own. He’d be alright either way his partner wanted to go-- as long as the two of them are together and safe and happy, he’s got everything he needs.

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Kids are fun, but honestly...oof. He’s got a chronic fatigue thing going on and keeping up with a kid for more than an hour or two at a time... he’s not sure he could hack it. Maybe he could, but that’s really something to think about before just diving in, y’know?

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Very good with children! They’re so curious and bright and he loves that about them! He’s got a lot of nurturing, caretaker tendencies built right into his personality, so he’s a natural at looking after and corralling them. He’s easily flustered and moves slow in his romantic relationships, though, so there’s a long timeline before the ‘should we have kids’ talk is even on the table, plenty of chances to share thoughts and work out a gameplan, whether that’s yea or nay. If yea, wonderful! If nay, he’d probably be just as happy babysitting friends’ kids and being Cool Uncle Papyrus as having any of his own.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): It’s... a nice thought. But he definitely doesn’t trust himself enough to feel totally comfortable having kids of his own. He barely trusts himself in Polite Society some days, and he’d just be too worried about not being in control and hurting or scaring a little one, especially a little one of his own. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself if he made his own kid afraid of him. Plus memory issues, nightmares, (depending on his fluency at the time) a language barrier... So ‘no kids’ is...probably preferable, but if it’s something you really want... maybe start with an animal or two first? The ol’ practice-baby pet, see how it goes kinda deal, and move forward from there.

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Like his counterpart, never really thought about it much...but when he does, he decides he could go either way on it. If you’re not interested in kids, fine, that’s more time for just the two of you. If you are, well... he was literally a monarch that ruled over all of monsterkind, for a time--surely, he could manage to be a passingly decent parent, with you as his partner in the endeavor. He’ll take his cues from you as to whether it’s a yes or a no.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): His feelings haven’t really changed from pre-Famine. In fact, he’s probably more hesitant now, after so viscerally confronting the consequences of his own hasty decisions and having to face his own fallibility the way he did. The thought of being responsible for a whole small life is very nerve-wracking--especially if said proposed life is to be biologically his, because he really doesn’t know what the DT in his system (pre or post-integration) will pass on to theoretical next-of-kin, if anything at all. Maybe not a ‘never,’ but not a vigorous, enthusiastic ‘yes’ either, lots to think about...and maybe tests to run...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): A couple years ago, he’d have been a little more in the ‘no’ camp, but now... He’s been through a lot. He’s struggling sometimes still, at least emotionally, but he made it, so y’know... maybe he’s capable of handling more than he thought he was. Still not a solid ‘yes’--he’s aware of his lack of filter and its tendency to cause hurt feelings, and he does like his peace and quiet, which kids are very much not conducive to, as a rule, so he’d have to put in some work and make some sacrifices-- but he’s no longer wholly a ‘no’ either. Depending on your own thoughts, there’s plenty of room to negotiate.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Kids are fine, he can handle them well enough, and even the thought of having his own doesn’t stress him out so much as it once did--he’s changed a lot, and been through a lot, taking a second crack at parenthood from a new perspective wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world--but he’s also not particularly interested in it. He likes his leisure time and his luxuries, and much as he’s sure he could find room in that to accommodate a child...he doesn’t see much of a reason to. He could be convinced, if it’s something that you really want, but he’d also stay childfree without a second thought to the matter.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Good with kids, like his counterpart, but also a little more capable and confident in himself and his ability to get things done. So... having a kid might be a little intimidating for him, but he generally feels like he could probably figure it out... and a kid might be a nice outlet for some of his caretaking urges, and extra motivation to keep fighting his phobia, to make sure their childhood is good and doesn’t suffer from them having a dad who’s scared to go outside. He definitely likes the idea of someone to look after and to be better for, but if that’s not for you, he wouldn’t force the issue. Would maybe want a furbaby though, instead, probably special needs that not everybody could/would be able to take care of (like Dizzy!) to fill that niche.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Kids are really cool and fun to hang out with--crazy little people, no filter, just running around, saying things, living life--they’re awesome, but he’s not totally sold on the idea of having his own. He does a lot of aimless life-living himself, and he feels like maybe that’s not the best thing for a kid. He doesn’t really have a career, he does things without a lot of planning, he goes places spontaneously, and... maybe that’s fun and exciting for a kid to be raised around, or maybe it’s unstable and harmful. He’s not really sure which and he probably doesn’t want to bring a kid into the mix until he knows. With a partner who’s a ‘yes’ on children and can help him co-parent and all that, sure, he’d probably be willing to give it a go. With one who’s a ‘no,’ that’s fine too, it’s a nonissue!

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): A little weird and stiff around kids, never totally sure how he’s supposed to talk to them or what he’s meant to say (especially when it comes to those things you’re supposed to lie to kids about, he’s very bad at that!!!), but he has nothing against children in general. As far as the idea of having his own... Well, if his partner wants to have kids, it wouldn’t be a no-- he’d just have to do a lot of research on the subject first, to feel more comfortable and to hopefully prepare, mentally, as much as one can ever prepare for this. After that, he’d be open to discuss and negotiate the matter with his partner from there, to sort out the logistics. With a partner who doesn’t want kids, though, he’d almost certainly never even bring it up on his own and honestly probably thinks of ‘childfree’ as the expected default rather than something quirky, nontraditional, or a deal-breaker.

[deermouth]

My brain is too tired for a real question, but what's each of their opinions on music? At least those who you mentioned.. maybe more? >;3c

thank you; this is an excellent question!

Çavesca: once cared deeply about ritual and sacred music, but hundreds of years gone, has little patience for what it sees as vapid, ephemeral human tunes, and little connection with current fae trends, especially as they can't readily track the time dilation and contraction between the "faerie realm" and the "human realm" (grain of salt w/ these terms). Kiri: vaguely emotionally attached to some songs her dad and his various GFs have played repeatedly. Modeled, young-person-music-appreciation-wise, after my own self, as I did not really develop any kind of preference until well into my teens. so, bottom line, doesn't start out with any particular care for any tunes, but that may change. :) Gossamer: ritual melodies and chants, music of seasons and flora and fauna. all sacred beyond any idea of "preference." anything human is dull at best and profane at worst.

Aimee: Like Kiri, doesn't know a ton of music, and doesn't really care. Likes what her dad plays on guitar, sometimes likes what comes in over the radio, if it's cool with the others at school. Selma Cloudlegs: enjoys background noise in dull settings, has various favorites, some instrumentals that she'd play during castings or various customer-facing things like readings or seances to help her get in the mood. has favorite songs of other genres too. basically the music pref of your average 40-something witchy person, but like, the kind who's serious about it.

Cam: largely shares their music taste with their twin brother: eclectic. electronica, folk, "indie rock," metal. music is a mood-setter to them.

Aster: they couldn't give you a genre, but music that pings something in their brain. sometimes it's electronic, sometimes metal or metal fusion, even the occasional fingerpicking riff of the perfect indie folk song. highly situational for them. they’d tell you during the time of the story that none of it could ever make them feel anything, but Who Knows.

[akp-1327]

the parallel

Pairing: Beckett Harrington x f!MC (Meghan Scott)

Word Count: 2.6k (it’s a longer fic but definitely worth the read :)

Synopsis: The Pend Pals have just finished their exhausting sophomore year at Penderghast and are in desperate need of a break.

Enjoy! :) <3

Meghan placed her hands on her hips and let out a sigh of relief. It was the chaotic night before the last day of school and she’d been packing her belongings all day, preparing to go off on the internship adventure with Professor Harrington, AKA Katrina, as she insisted on being called. Beckett begged her to let him come along with her, though Katrina said no; she wanted some one-on-one time with Meghan to get to know her as more than a student and more of a friend. Exasperation wasn’t even a strong enough word at Beckett’s reaction. Regardless of whether her boyfriend was going or not, Meghan was ecstatic to get off campus and explore the wide and unknown magickal world with her powers; her magick was practically bursting from her fingertips at the thought of exploration.

Meghan’s crystal blue eyes wandered around her lifeless room, once decked out with books, movie posters, and various knick-knacks that were now boxed and ready for the quick trip back home in the morning. It was just a mattress and a sad afghan blanket that she was borrowing from Aster. Sophomore year, as amazing and eventful as it may have been, was definitely allowed to end in Meghan’s opinion. It was enough of an adrenaline rush as it was a headache. With Kane, Alma, Gemma, her mom, her strengthening powers, Beckett...it was all just a lot. She was in desperate need of a proper break.

She was about to turn in for the night and change into her pajamas before she heard a loud knock at her door. The sound sent Ivy, her arylu, on a wild goose chase around the room to find its source. Meghan giggled before she walked over to the door (trying to tame her messy blonde waves first, of course) and cracked it open, seeing the Pend Pals on the other side.

“Hey, Megs? You need to get out of this tiny space. You’ve been cooped up in here all day.” Shreya commanded, though there was no form of malice in her tone. Meghan smiled and looked back at her room, opening the door wider so everyone could see the bare walls and the boxes piled up everywhere.

“Sorry. Cleaning tape off the wall and packing a million things isn’t exactly a quick job, especially when you do it all alone.” Meghan sighed, glaring at her twin. Atlas only smirked. “What’re you all up to?” Everyone glanced at each other, then back at Meghan.

“It’s a--” Zeph started, though Meghan interrupted him with a groan. She already knew what word, what god awful word he was about to utter.

“Surprise,” Meghan said, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms, “why can’t you guys just tell me? I’m always the victim to these kinds of things and I don’t appreciate it as much as you think I do.” Griffin let out a loud laugh and Beckett’s face was dusted in a rose tint.

“It was Beckett’s idea, actually!” Aster cheered, her leaves rustling with happiness, “He was the one who wanted to surprise us! No one else actually knows what’s happening.”

Meghan’s eyes flitted over to her boyfriend who was now fidgeting under her gaze. “Oh, is that so?” 

Beckett instantly stammered and bashfully smiled. “I thought we deserved something after this year, and so it’s more of a surprise for everyone,” Beckett explained, collecting himself a bit, “so I planned everything myself in hopes of relaxing for a little while before we all go our separate ways for the summer.” Shreya hummed and looked back at Beckett.

“You know, Beckett, I have a suspicion that this little extravaganza is being held at the library for some reason. Please tell me this isn’t just my intuition speaking.” Shreya teased, arching her eyebrow. Beckett scoffed.

“As if I’d spoil my plans after keeping them a secret for so long,” Beckett said, looking back at Meghan halfway through his response, “are you going to stand there all night or are you coming with?”

Meghan lovingly rolled her eyes at him. “Let me get my sandals.”

**

The evening air was warm as the Pend Pals followed Beckett through campus. They passed the library and dorm buildings as the sun sank further beneath the horizon. Meghan fell back into step with her sister who trailed behind everyone; Atlas wore a small frown and had her arms tightly wrapped around her chest, seemingly trying to protect herself.

“What’s up, sis?” Meghan asked, giving her a small nudge with her shoulder. Atlas sighed and gave her sister a half-hearted shrug.

“I hate surprises,” Atlas said, “we’ve had too many bad ones this year. Too many for a lifetime.” She looked down at her scuffed boots and started to kick a pebble along with her as she walked.

“You do know that Beckett would never put us in danger, right?” Meghan asked, looking back at Atlas. Her platinum white hair had been tied up in a ponytail, making it easier to spot the tension fade from her features.

“It’s a habit of mine to think the worst of surprises, Megs. You know that.” Atlas said, unfurling her arms from around her chest. “And you can’t say that. Remember last year when he almost killed the entire school with the ward incident?”

Meghan was the one to shrug. “He’s changed a lot, Atlas. Besides, Raife and Kane are long gone. We’re alright and in no sort of danger.”

Atlas nodded with a small relieved smile, bumping Meghan’s side with her elbow. “Old habits die hard.”

“And new ones create happy memories! Now, loosen up and enjoy tonight for me. Can you do that?”

Atlas rolled her eyes. “Ugh, fine. But I won’t do it for your pleasure.” 

Meghan laughed, watching everyone ahead of them slow down and eventually stop next to an empty field.

“Uh, Beckett, sorry to burst your bubble,” Griffin started, gesturing to the openness around them, “but there’s nothing here.” 

Zeph and Shreya laughed.

“Maybe it was at the library after all!” Zeph joked. Beckett smirked, crossing his arms.

“No, no. We still have a bit to go,” Beckett started, looking at Meghan, “but I was hoping a certain Sun-Att would care to help me?” Meghan smiled warmly and walked over to him. He gently grasped her hands and threaded their fingers together.

“You two are adorable and I love you both, but I’m on the edge of my seat over here. Save the cutesy stuff for when we get there, please!” Shreya laughed. Everyone nodded in agreement as Beckett sighed, shaking his head with a smile. He gazed into Meghan’s eyes with pure adoration and love that Meghan had started to lose herself in the moment, only before he blinked and snapped her out of her reverie.

“I need you to light the way for me, okay?” Beckett said, squeezing Meghan’s hands. She nodded and, a moment later, was emitting a soft and golden glow that lit up the area around them. “That’s perfect. Now, stay close to me.”

Meghan tightened her hold on one of his hands and let the other one go, now standing at his side. “How about I hold your hand?” Beckett beamed and hummed, pulling her close before he started to walk again. The path ahead was a little more narrow and wooded. Aster giggled as she looked around.

“These woods were the ones I used to play in when I was growing up,” Aster said, brushing her hand along the dark brush, “I’d love to branch here. There’s so much character and uniqueness about the area, so much to learn about.” Everyone continued to walk in the soft light, trying not to trip or get whacked in the head by branches.

“Big B, was this treacherous path really, ow, necessary?” Zeph complained, a branch hitting his forehead. Atlas, Shreya, and Griffin laughed quietly to themselves. 

Beckett was about to respond before strikingly bright blue sparks burst on the ground in front of them, slowly forming into a circle. Instead of dirt, the inside had been a blur of purples, pinks, yellows, and greens. Beckett laughed and turned back to his friends.

“To answer your question, Zephyr, this path was the only one that we could take to find this magnificent portal.” Beckett said wondrously, pointing at the portal on the ground behind him. “Because of the rock formations beneath--”

“Oh, shut up already!” Zeph rushed forward and cannon balled into the portal. “Waahoo!”

Griffin and Shreya laughed, running in after him.

“Incoming!” Griffin exclaimed.

“Aaah!” Shreya howled.

Aster and Atlas looked at each other for a second before they jumped in as well, a bit more hesitant. 

In mere seconds, it had only been Beckett and Meghan, their hands tightly intertwined as she continued to glow.

“This is what we were looking for? Coooool!” Meghan laughed teasingly, moving closer to see his face of shock. “Beck?” He blinked rapidly.

“What...did...did that just happen?” Beckett asked, a smile starting to encase his features. Meghan giggled and kissed his cheek.

“It did,” Meghan said, wrapping him in a hug, “and I think we should join them!” She pushed off the ground and made them both stagger on their feet. Before he could react, Beckett was tumbling into the portal and free falling into the depths of it, Meghan wearing an expression of amazement in his arms.

“Whoa!” Meghan shouted, clinging to Beckett as wind whipped through her hair. Beckett’s body started to relax from the shock, now starting to laugh and holding Meghan closer.

“Wooo!” Beckett shouted. The colors whizzed together and created a mural of bold and interesting patterns around them. It was as if they were inside an abstract painting! Though, before they could comprehend the moment once more, their descent slowed and they landed on their feet in a world parallel to theirs. Everything seemed the same, everyone looked the exact same as they did before, but the colors of the terrain...the colors…

The land, the trees, the leaves, the bushes, the ground...it was all glowing!

The world of bright light came to life around them. The rest of the Pend Pals eagerly crowded around Beckett and Meghan, still catching their breaths.

“Where are we?” Shreya huffed, putting her hands on her knees. Beckett looked around, gaping.

“This is the Parallel. It’s the universe that’s ours, but,” Beckett started, gesturing to the area around them slowly, “the colors are all fluorescent and the Earth’s gravitational pull is less strong.”

Griffin gasped. “I didn't think the Parallel actually existed!”

Beckett shook his head, still looking around with bewildered eyes. “Neither did I.”

“Wait, so if the gravitational pull is less strong…” Meghan pulled away from Beckett and jumped, her body starting to float before slowly coming back down. “No way! This is amazing!” She jumped with more vigor this time, launching herself higher into the air. The laughs of her friends rang out behind her as they experimented with their weightlessness as well. Zeph and Shreya did flips, Atlas and Griffin did corkscrews, and Aster spun. Beckett, still quite uneasy, tried to do a somersault but to no avail. Meghan laughed and made her way over to him.

“Hey, need some help?” Meghan giggled, taking one of Beckett’s hands. He gingerly smiled before she launched them both high into the air, their bodies spinning through the vivid world around them.

“Jeez, a little warning would be nice!” Beckett exclaimed, though his tone lacked any sort of malice. He had an excited smile on his face as Meghan led him through a flip, then another, and then another. They laughed as they landed, the ground finally halting them of their seemingly endless cycle of flips.

“That looked like so much fun!” Aster cheered, launching herself to do the same exact thing. Eventually everyone had been laughing and tumbling through the air.

“Griffin! I bet I can jump higher than you!” Atlas challenged. Griffin narrowed his eyes and the two were high in the air, flipping and laughing, pushing each other away when they came close.

“Shreya--” Zeph warned, though Shreya still crept up on him until she grabbed his hand and threw him across the forest in slow motion, sending him sprawling. “Aaaaah! Meghan, get revenge!”

Meghan narrowed her eyes towards Shreya and then looked to Aster and Beckett for reinforcements. With a huge grin, they all leapt at Shreya and sent her the other way, also tumbling through the neon landscape. “No!”

“Yes! Justice for Zeph!” Meghan giggled, doing a victorious flip and high fiving Beckett and Aster. 

**

Everyone continued to play around before they started to wind down and tucker themselves out. They were now laying on the ground and looking up at the starless sky. 

Beckett swiped Meghan’s hand into his and placed a kiss on the back, inviting her into his arms.

“Did you have fun?” Beckett whispered into her ear. She sighed and cuddled into his embrace, her gaze wandering to her friends pointing up at the sky a little ways away from them. She smiled and leaned up to look at Beckett.

“I had an amazing time, Beckett,” Meghan started, leaning closer to him, “but something’s missing.”

Beckett arched an eyebrow. “What is it?”

Meghan leaned even further, her lips now hovering over his. “I’m missing a kiss, silly!”

Beckett grinned and brought his hand up to cup her cheek, “Say no more, then,” and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Meghan closed her eyes and smiled against his lips as they kissed, pulling away breathlessly only a moment later to rest her forehead against his.

“Now everything’s beyond perfect,” Meghan whispered, though even more quietly added, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetums.” Beckett responded, pressing a kiss to her nose. Someone’s cough, presumably Atlas’s, scared the two apart.

“A-hem. Lovebirds.” Atlas teased, causing both Beckett and Meghan to roll their eyes. “It’s almost one in the morning.” 

The group synchronized a yawn, Meghan’s head resting on Beckett’s chest once more as she settled back down next to him. Despite the implication of needing to leave, no one moved nor spoke. They all just basked in the peace and quiet of the different world for a few minutes, everyone’s breathing slow and calm. Suddenly, Meghan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, sitting up.

“Atlas and I have to leave in a few hours,” Meghan said sadly, “we should probably get our butts back to campus. Beckett, how do we get out of here?”

Beckett sighed and stood. “Back the way we came. Follow me.”

**

The Pend Pals trudged exhaustively back through the woods and towards campus on the long path. Everyone was leaning on each other for support, everyone’s eyes drooping, and everyone’s smiles never fading. Once they were standing in the middle of campus, they all gave each other hugs and goodbyes.

“We need to go back there next year.” Griffin said, running his hands down his face. Atlas pushed his arm teasingly.

“You just want a rematch at that race. What a sore loser you are, Langley.” Atlas said. Everyone laughed as a comfortable silence fell over the group. Meghan giggled and spoke up.

“Well, I’m going to bed. See you all at breakfast tomorrow?” Meghan asked, looking around at everyone’s nods and attempts to hold back yawns.

“Good night, everyone!” Aster said, walking away. Griffin waved with a warm smile and Zeph saluted. Shreya gave them a dazzling grin and walked off towards her dorm. Beckett took Meghan’s hands in his, staring into her eyes.

“See you in the morning,” Beckett said, pressing a kiss to Meghan’s forehead, “sleep well.” Before she could respond, Meghan watched Beckett walk away towards his dorm. Atlas sidled up next to her and wrapped her arm around Meghan’s shoulders.

“C’mon, Megs. We need get some sleep before we work our butts off tomorrow.” Atlas said, leading her towards their dorm. Meghan wrapped her arm around Atlas in return.

“Happily, sis.” Was all Meghan could say before they returned to the bare room and turned in for the night.

[godstaff]

Clark warns his kids about the Phantom Zone

Clark: ...and this is the Phantom Zone projector. You’ve heard me say lots of times about the things in the Fortress that these are not toys. Well: this is the last thing you will consider something to play with. Ast: pay attention very carefully to what your sister will tell you...

Aster: She??? Why does she have to teach me?

Clark: Because she’s your elder by 12 years, because you have to learn to trust her and because I can test her knowledge about the subject through how she instructs you...and because I’m your father and you have to do what I say until you’re old enough and have enough information to make your own decisions.

Selene: And why do I have to teach him? I’m old enough to make my own decisions: I decide to send this goblin to the Phantom Zone. 

Aster: Dad...

Clark: The PZ is not a laughing matter. You don’t get to joke about it.

Selene: Okay. My bad. Besides, aunt Kari was 16 and she was fighting supercriminals, already.

Clark: Yes, and uncle Bruce made his son a Robin at ten years old, but we do things differently here. This is your last test: one of patience and empathy. As much as your brother has to trust you, you have to trust him.

Selene: Hmm. But after this final test I want your former apartment in Metropolis. It’s the only one with the reinforced structure.

Clark: Deal. Be aware that with 7′ of height and blue hair you won’t exactly “blend in”. But you need to face the real World. Nobody will force you if you don’t want to be its protector like your mother and I, but, because of who you are, which you won’t be able to hide, you’ll be a magnet for problems.

Selene: I’ll manage.

Aster: Hello? Aster here. Would somebody, please, tell me about the Phantom Zone?

Clark: Lena, please?

Selene: Okay. Pay attention, because this could save your life one day: the PZ was developed by Grandpa Jor as a prison for the most dangerous criminals. It’s a portal to other dimension where you lack physical form as we know it, you become some sort of ghost. Hence the name. 

“In spite of that, some managed to reproduce there. like General Zod and Faora-Ul: they had a son. The good part is you don’t age in there or suffer any changes, but you can’t get out, unless Dad, Mom or the aunts use the projector. Only Kryptonian DNA allows its operation.

“Our own Krypto was trapped inside of it when he pushed the General men in to save Grandpa. Fortunately, Dad rescued him when he installed the PZ container in the Fortress.

Aster: Was someone able to escape from it?

Selene: Dad?

Clark: Zod himself did. Faora and him took advantage of me liberating their son, Lor-Zod. During the battle with his parents, Lor was infected by a kryptonite weapon developed by his father for me, and the only way to keep him alive was to send him back to the PZ until we find a cure. Don’t ever underestimate General Zod: your mother and I were almost defeated by him and his wife. He’s smart, resourceful, relentless and both have the best military training in the known universe. Not to mention they have our powers. It was your mother’s Amazon training what ultimately saved us, so never trust your powers alone and never underestimate your training: there are a lot of villains out there as powerful than us or even more.

Aster: And...how does it work? The PZ projector, I mean.

Selene: Remember the Ghostbusters movie? (Aster nods) Well, think of the projector as the particle thrower, which converts the criminals into some kind of energy and traps them. Dad then releases them into the container for safe kipping. It may seem inhumane, but these are very dangerous villains, their rampage costed hundreds of thousand of lives. It’s the lesser evil and a better alternative to kill them or doing nothing.

“Dad wanted to lock Joker inside. He qualifies as an irredeemable and dangerous lunatic, and he proposed it to Batman, but it seems uncle Bruce wants him outside for some mysterious reason we’ll never know. When you hear Joker killed hundreds, remember it’s uncle Bruce’s fault.

Clark: Lena...

Selene: It’s the truth, whether you or Batman acknowledge it or not. Mom confronted him on that, once. He had no answer. Astroboy needs to know all the facts.

Clark: Okay, Aster: do you have any questions?

Aster: None I can think of right now, Dad.

Clark: Good job, Lena. Maybe a little excessive in opinions, but well done.

Lena (extending her hand): My keys, please.

Let’s go to the residence. I keep them there. Ast: tomorrow we’ll tour the menagerie, but not as a distraction, as usual, tomorrow we’ll learn about it.

Aster: Okay.

[oliveheart-worldbuilding]

Aster, Bee Balm, Daffodil, Dahlia, Laurel, Petunia, Rose, and Violet? I'd also add Gardenia but it's impossible to escape murder cats.

Hi there! Thank you so much for the ask! Once again, I’m sorry for taking so long to answer!

Adding a read more because this one is pretty long.

Aster- Who’s your least favorite character? Why?

This one is a bit difficult for me, I read many of the books a long time ago and I’m sure if I were to read them again my opinion on a lot of characters would be very different. Going only by memory I would say that Bluestar is one of my least favorite characters but then I would have to add many female characters that I now feel were completely mistreated by the authors and whose entire arcs where thrown under the bus in the name of forbidden love or man pain. I never liked Silverstream, but nowadays I know that whom I actually hate is Graystripe. I used to not like Leafpool or Squirrelflight at all, now I don’t. What I’m trying to say is that my opinion changes constantly and a lot. I read the books a long time ago and did so with a completely different mindset (I was 16 when I read Omen of the Stars and oh man was I edgy and stupid back then), most of my opinions nowadays are based on the potential the characters have rather than the actual character. So bearing that in mind:

-Bluestar: I know, I know, a lot of you love her a lot but even after reading people’s opinions on her I just… eh I don’t like her at all. She feels incredibly detached in the first books. To me she always treated Firepaw rather coldly. I know a lot of people talk about Bluestar as if she had become Firepaw’s adoptive mother but I just don’t see it. Reading about her losing her faith was very interesting, so was her crumping mind health but, I just gotta draw the line on how terrible she was to Brightpaw. In this house we love and respect Brightpaw and Bluestar was just very nasty to her. I really didn’t like her novella at all either. Based on her relationship with Whitestorm in The Prophecies Begin I always thought that she might have played an important role in his life after Snowfur died but, it doesn’t seem that way at all? The only moment we see them interact is when she tells Whitekit, in a very distressing way may I add, that her mother is dead and never coming back. To me, she also comes in as selfish and power-hungry, she spends a huge part of the book complaining about Thistleclaw (bear in mind, back then he was only overly ambitious, not a pedophile) and his relationship with her sister, even though she herself is spending time with Oakheart, a tom from another clan. When Goosefeather tells her about the prophecy he never specifies that she must be the one becoming leader, only that Thistleclaw is not meant to become one and yet she goes out of her way to become the leader so much so that she’s willing to risk her kittens’ safety (killing one in the process) just so she can be available for the position. She could have just uuuuhmmmm told Sunstar about the prophecy? Also I’m pretty sure Sunstar assures her that Thistleclaw would not have made a good leader multiple times so… he could have chosen literally anyone else? Rosetail? Thrustpelt? Don’t get me started on the whole Tigerkit dilemma! She chooses to believe Goosefeather prophecies when they strengthen her own personal bias but when she’s told about Tigerkit’s she just goes “aw man Goosefeather sure is crazy hahaha anyway back on me becoming leader”. I don’t know, there’s more to it but this is getting pretty long. Personally she’s just not my favorite.

-Graystripe: He’s a terrible friend, he treats Fireheart like absolute garbage, he chooses a molly he has known for exactly 2 days over his best friend and his entire clan, he leaves Thunderclan to spend more time with his kittens just to abandon them 5 seconds later, and yet the son of a bitch was somehow always meant to become deputy to Firestar??? Just because they are friends??? Dude went against the warrior code, endangered his clan by refusing to fight Riverclan, was incredible close to causing an all-out war with Riverclan, abandoned his clan, refused to see what was wrong about his behavior just because he was in love… How in the f is he a good warrior??? Erins I want answers; this man is garbage. When he gets captured by the humans and comes back to the lake he gets so SO mad at Firestar for not “waiting for him”, my dude you were gone for seasons, you were deputy, you really expect the entire clan to stop working so that you can keep your friendship bracelet position? Everybody thought you were dead Graystripe!! Was everyone supposed to keep vigil forever?? He’s also a terrible father to both his litters, his reaction to being told that Feathertail’s dead is “aw man… she was so beautiful… like her mom…” that’s terribleeee. At some point in Omen of the Stars, after Briarlight broke her spine, Millie complains about Graystripe not helping her at all and then they start fighting about it, Graystripe’s only answer is something along the lines of “yeah whatever dude”. I hate him so much. I stopped reading after The Last Hope, so I can’t talk about the rest but, I’ve seen some parts of Graystripe’s Vows and let me tell I want this man gone for good. He’s lived for too long.

-Lionblaze: He’s the most flavorless character in the history of flavorless characters. What’s his arc? That’s right. He doesn’t have one. I literally have nothing to say about him. How is this character alive and in his way to become leader when Hollyleaf could have been in his place? Disgusting. Also, dreaming about killing your girlfriend and bathing in her blood? Bad. Not showing not even a bit of remorse about after waking up? Terrible. Badly hurting her mentor when you were trying harm her? Just straight up fucked up. He’s badly written, boring and kind of very misogynist at times.

I have many other opinions because I’m a very judgmental person but I’m gonna leave it at that because this is getting very long.

Bee Balm- What’s your favorite novella or super edition?

I’ve only read three! So Crockedstar’s promise I guess.

Daffodil- When did you first start reading the books?

In the summer of 6th grade, that’s when I was… 11-12 years old? I think? So in 2012-2013, I started reading them in Spanish but I read through them super-fast and the translations were super slow to come out so I just started reading the books in English. It actually helped my English level quite a bit! My first English book was The Forest of Secrets I think.

Dahlia- Has any death scene actually made you cry? What was it?

Snowfur’s (Reading about Whitekit screaming at her mother to wake up was super messed up), Yellowfang’s (I loved that old woman. I wish they hadn’t written about her in Starclan, she’s so out of character in later books) and Hollyleaf’s death (yes, first and second time, young me loved her to pieces. I still can’t believe they let her die a second time when Lionblaze’s flavorless ass was right there…).

Laurel- If you could write the books, what changes would you make?

I would contemplate the idea of just, moving forward in time? The warriors’ series feels very stagnant. Young characters die while having no personality at all and older characters from the first series are still alive and very much immortal at this point. We need new fresh blood.

I would just set up a completely new series: maybe the stories of Firestar and his family have been immortalized, maybe they are now revered as gods or something, I would create an actual religion system, one based in nature, the death and rebirth of all things and the need to remember those who have fallen. I would change their entire culture so that elders are more important; medicine cats are not regarded as useless (I’m looking at every character that forced in this position instead of choosing it themselves) and the warrior code actually makes sense.

The setting of this new series would be the lake territories but a long time has passed since the time of Firestar and things have changed a lot. A kittypet joins the clans and through their perspective we see how they work and act, what makes every single one of them different, their culture and laws, etc. It would be a nod to the first series while being completely new. It would also allow to add new characters from the start so they all have personalities and relationships with each other.

I would also contemplate creating one last series set up in the time of the original clans where everything just goes to hell. You guys remember rabies? I want that + Starclan going crazy. A full out massacre of old characters that ends in only a few surviving ones. I want blood, and I want it to be scary. If children can read about Tigerclaw’s horrible death, then they can read what in my opinion would be a zombie/ghost apocalypse. And then I would start anew with this completely new series set up in the future.

I mean, I would rewrite a looooooot of things, but that’s a talk for another day.

Petunia- Which arc is your favorite? Which is your last favorite?

My favorite is The Prophecies Begin when it comes to the plot and the Power of Three when it comes to characters. My least favorite is the New Prophecy.

Rose- Do you prefer traditional naming or creative naming?

Traditional all the way! I like when things have meaning and each name having its own really helps the feeling of there being a pre-established culture! Creative naming just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me in this context but that’s just my personal taste.

Violet- What do you think is the worst trope in the series?

Already answered!

Gardenia- Do you think you’ll ever leave the fandom?

Probs not, I’m in too deep, warriors is always at the back of my mind...

[kwispayne]

The Top 10 Films Of 2019

Sadly my keep up with film this year wasn't as active as I would have liked it to have been. But I did see a lot of great films. Maybe none that will be in my century list, but there was some great moments throughout. Hopefully I can keep up better this year, but here is my opinion on what I did see

So here is some rules

1.Technically some of these movies have been released in 2018, but some where only released at film festivals or had overseas release. I usually go by the rules of if it was released in cinemas, Netflix or DVD in 2019.

2. This is a personal list. So some opinions are biased and selfish.

3. I haven’t seen every film from this year sadly. So any recommendations or even your top 10 lists would be helpful. I always want to watch more and I have an odd fetish for lists and stuff, so if you have any send me links and stuff.

10. Dragged Across Concrete (S. Craig Zahler)

S. Craig Zahler's films in the past few years have only just keep getting better and better. Also how this guy was able to give careers back to Vince Vaughan & Mel Gibson is a feat if extraordinary skill too. Dragged Across Concrete is a complex story, with a lot of interesting twists and turns, but one of the best skills that Zahler has as a film maker is his ability to set up scenes. He never spoonfeeds his audience, and gives the characters dialogue and scenes that are very lifelike. While this may be his least bloodiest affair, it does have some rather upsetting moments in it which leave a bigger lasting impact than a bloody gore fest.

9. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (Quentin Tarantino)

I was a tiny bit let down by Tarantino's last film The Hateful 8. Overall it wasn't the worst, but there was a lot of padding. But, this film has a lot of padding too. But it's padding which I deem necessary. In fact, this level of padding I haven't seen Tarantino do since Jackie Brown. But overall, the film, even though it is slightly based on true events, constantly has the audience guessing what is going to happen, leading to an incredibly leftfield and satisfying climax. The dialogue throughout is at times Tarantino by numbers, but at times he does verge away from what we are used to, which I've got to admit, is an impressive feat by Tarantino so late into his career. Also, big props to Leonardo DiCaprio who deserves an award for his performance in this film.

8.  Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (Chris Smith)

The movie which launched a thousand memes. Back in the day, documentaries used to fill my lists, but that has died down, because they've been so saturated since the rise of Netflix & Amazon. But, I'm glad to say that this  is the example of one that has slipped through the cracks, mainly because the story  of this documentary is so insane. A failed music festival that was doomed from day one, spearheaded by a rapper with a lot of hubris and a pied piper entrepreneur. In many ways this movie very much is the perfect parable of today's obsession with capitalism. It's all glitz with no results. Netflix, you've done it again.

7.  Lords Of Chaos (Jonas Åkerlund)

Being a fan of metal, the story of this film has been among the metal lore for the past few years. Now...do I believe everything the movie is portraying...no, but the movie does claim that it is based on lies too. But at the heart of it all, I think  Åkerlund did get a great theme going. That at the end of the day, the guys involved in this whole affair were just kids. This is a controversial choice I know, but I genuinely loved the choice of shots in the movie, the aesthetics used and I thought out the dialogue throughout was very strong and acted well. So as a film, it's great. As a piece of metal history...not so much.

6. Fighting With My Family (Stephen Merchant)

After being blown away by Florence Pugh in Lady Macbeth, I was surprised to hear that her next project was a comedy film about wrestling. But then I saw that Stephen Merchant was directing and writing it, and my mind was put to rest. Personally I think The Office & Extras are 2 of the best TV shows ever made, so I knew that Stephen could pull of a big Hollywood comedy. But...this has such great British charm in it, that whenever I wasn't laughing I was nearly in tears with the drama. The screen play in this film is fantastic, but Stephen has always been a brilliant writer. The cast in the film is fantastic, but Florence Pugh just blows everyone out of the water. I will talk about her more later. 

5. Vice (Adam McKay)

After being shocked by The Big Short, Adam McKay again proves that he has a certain style which was only veily shown in his earlier comedy films. The comedy of this film comes from the twist of what we usually except with films of this calibre, but behind the veneer of Cheney himself, this very much adds to the tone of the film. The obvious elephant in the room is Christian Bale's performance and the changes he made to become the character, which are insane as always, but the actual performance and manner of Cheney is perfectly modeled and may be one of his greatest performances, although I hope for his benefit he just sticks to a fat suit and make up next time he needs to play an older large man.  Now this movie isn't the most factually accurate from what I gather, but if it is...wow...McKay has given life to an absolute monster.

4. Midsommar (Ari Aster)

Ari Aster has now made 2 of the best modern horror films. Hopefully he can make it a hat trick. This film blew me away. The psychedelic cult aspect of this movie was dripping from the screen, but it was done is such a bright and vibrant way so it seems to be safe, but it's actually very dangerous. A fantastic cast also drives  the film, but Florence Pugh shows up again to prove that she may be the greatest actor that we currently have working at the moment. Jack Reynor is also fantastic in the film and I really hope he gets more work because he is fantastic (he's gorgeous too). Warning to anyone about to watch this film...it gets very freaky.

3. Avengers Endgame (Anthony & Joe Russo)

Ok...again this is mainly just for my own satisfaction. I have been following the Marvel films for a long time, and some of them have actually been able to get their way into my top 10 lists, but this one is different. This movie never would have worked if the studio didn't take their time. And the arc that they have told over the past few years with specific characters in general has come full circle, and the pay off is glorious. Now when it comes to the actual plot of the film and the time travel stuff...yes it is a bit silly, but the concept itself is silly too, so I take it with a pinch of salt, and I only focus on the story we are given. The best performance though comes from Robert Downey Jr., who I believe deserves some sort of award not for this film but for all the Marvel movies he took part in. The build up to Josh Brolin's Thanos is also a fantastic performance. And the climax of this film is one of the most grandiose and epic closers of any superhero movie that we have ever seen.

2. Us (Jordan Peele)

I felt that Get Out was a movie where the concept was brilliant, but the actual execution was lacking. I still enjoyed it, but it was one of those films where people enjoyed it a lot more than I did. But when I saw the trailer for Us, I became very excited, because the trailer made it seem overly creepy to the point where I didn't understand what was going on. So I went in knowing nothing and coming out completely blown away. To think that Jordan Peele directed this, the same guy that made me laugh from his sketches on Key & Peele has directed an incredibly smart, funny and interesting horror film. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone (obvious joke alert). But this movie would be nothing without the stellar performance from Luptia Nyong'o. This lady deserves a lot of awards and recognition for this role, and I hope she works with the horror genre again, because he is a fantastic scream queen.

1. The Favourite (Yorgos Lanthimos)

Yorgos Lanthimos' films have been an interest of while. With his directorial debut Dogtooth, I was blown away. It was so unique that no one could follow this incredibly odd turgid and absurdist style. He then came back with The Lobster, which I found the idea of more enjoyable than that actual execution of the film itself. And he got closer with The Killing Of A Sacred Deer, but it didn't fully stick to landing. But this is his biggest film. A weird one to chose foe a style of his calibre. A period piece focusing on feminism. How could he keep his style without it distracting the audience too much with the story. But thankfully he found the perfect marriage between the 2. Now, his style did get watered down a bit, but thankfully his absurdist approach hasn't fully evaporated, with some very odd but brilliant use of shots. Acting wise, the film has a fantastic cast, and obvious props should be given to Olivia Coleman who won her Oscar for this role, but Emma Stone & Rachel Weisz also give fantastic performances too, and should be recognized too. I'm glad to see Lanthimos making his acclaimed masterpiece, and am looking forward to his next artistic endeavor.

[sizzleitupwithmaria]

i guess i have to return the favor now @baura-bear

anemone: favorite flower? 

i really like baby’s breath

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? 

frasier babeyyy

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

idfk

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? 

“dude, i just jizzed” (please don’t ask for context)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? 

i’ve been vibing with san pellegrino lately

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 

probably not

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

yeah

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

the punch up of you make my dreams from punch up the jam

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. 

everyone hates each other and i don’t want them to do that

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? 

not really?

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

n i g h t

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat so i could sleep for a long time

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

a farmer??

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? 

some are fine but they’re mostly shit

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

i’m afraid of death bc what the fuck happens??

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. 

the first album i remember listening to is rumors by fleetwood mac

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? 

idfk it’s like 9pm i’m tired

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? 

right now? nyc

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? 

when people acknowledge my existence whoops

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

eh

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

just a sweatshirt, i’m about to Sleep

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yeah

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? 

my friend ashley

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed? 

uhhhh classified (it’s nothing scandalous)

Columbine: Are you tired? 

when am i not tired

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

the weekend and also my crush’s birthday so i can talk to him whoops

Coneflower: Dream job? 

art historian that acts on the side

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? 

yeah

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? 

i’d get hurt a lot but i wouldn’t die

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? 

i have a purple build a bear that i made with my best friend in first grade, i still sleep with it

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? 

by the greater population? no

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

getting��“cast” in play as a freshman

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? l

fuck them

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

probably one of my friends

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? 

mario kart babey

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? 

talking to other people

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i’ve maintained a 4.21 gpa, i got cast in play, and i talked to my crush quite a bit

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? 

average

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? 

sure why not

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? 

have a bf or gf LMAO

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

queen dance parties

Hellebore: How do you show affection? 

by saying very nice things

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

i like to write and take more ap art history notes than i should

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? 

my own brain?? the internet??

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? 

quite a few i’d say

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? 

idk, somebody once said i had a red aura

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

depends on the day, rn i think i’m fucking ugly lmao

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? 

my lips and my laugh (weirdly)

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

my body shape in general

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? 

when i was two years old i had a set of alphabet blocks and when i was sorting them i used to hold onto the one that said “C” because there was a picture of a cat on it. it’s sitting on my windowsill now

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? 

idfk

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? 

uhhhhhhhhhh

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? 

BEING QUEER LMAO

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? 

idk what it means but i’m named after maria von trapp :)

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

columbus ohio, aka NYC Lite (at least in my opinion)

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? 

sky blue with purple peace signs and full of a bunch of shit

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

they’re alright so far, better than preteen years

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

i was turning 12? and one of the two friends i had over called their mom to leave early without telling me. yeah.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

NOT WELL

Pink: Where is home? 

my house?

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? 

my personal life i have no idea but i’d like to preserve the library of alexandria

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. 

ummmmm they’re a good artist and also funny

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. 

living in an apartment in nyc, having a nice wife and a cat or two and working at the met

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? 

my father’s love

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? 

fall play sleepover last year

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? 

uhhhhh either beginning of october two years ago or winter break two years ago

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? 

to have my room clean

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? 

depends on who i’m talking to

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? 

theater

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? 

like eight hours? maybe seven

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? 

i have to go to school

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jean jacket that i painted :)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

like...... alternative androgynous artist? sure

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

literally just a hug

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? 

my history test tomorrow

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? 

i read of mice and men for english class and i’m currently rereading good omens

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? i

lead role in the fall play with good grades

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? 

yes but i wish i didn’t

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i have a crush on three people rn WHOOPSY DAISY

[astereaholloway]

- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

[ellanainthetardis]

Today there is an attempt at shaving, a phone call reunion and a stroll. It’s the small steps that count, they say ;) Let me know your thoughts!

[FF] or [AO3]

Chapter 11 : Ghost Town

Haymitch tried to fall asleep but the voices in his head wouldn’t shut up. The ghosts lurking in his mind were hungry and he didn’t have anything to dull their presence. Guilt and shame and sorrow… It all twisted and mixed in a deadly brew.

He remained sullen and apathetic when they finally took the stitches on his back out and he didn’t really acknowledge it when they told him he had been out for almost five days.

Five days seemed too little a time for the hell he had just been through but at the same time it seemed like too much.

He was lost, he wasn’t feeling quite like himself and he didn’t like it. He hated being that unsettled. He hated being diminished. The fact that he needed help to do simple things – like walk to the bathroom and back – was making him feel ashamed and Peeta’s forced casualness about it – while appreciated – only increased that feeling.

“You were never alone.” the boy whispered one evening. “Sometimes it looked like… It looked like you didn’t know that but… We never left you alone.”

It occurred to him that the boy felt guilty about forcing him through sobriety. He wished he knew how to tell him it wasn’t his fault but finding the right words to voice feelings had never been his strongest suit.

Katniss, on the other hand, didn’t seem to feel guilty at all. When she visited, she looked exactly just as on edge as he felt trapped in that bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” he grumbled after three days of watching her pacing a hole in his bedroom.

“The electric fence is back on.” she muttered, kicking the foot of the bed. “There’s no getting out now. We should have run when we had the chance.”

“Yeah, who’s that we?” he taunted, pretty sure of the answer. Peeta would never suggest running away. It wouldn’t even occur to the boy. Gale Hawthorne, now…

She flushed red and then scowled at him. “Oh, shut up.”

He rubbed his face, too exhausted for this bullshit. “How many conversations do we need to have about this?”

“I didn’t see him since he went back home with his mom.” she snapped. “I won’t see him again, alright? I got it.”

“Halle-fucking-lujiah.” he deadpanned.

“I’m glad it makes you so happy.” she sneered. “I’m going to marry someone I don’t love just so…”

“Peeta’s not your first choice, yeah, I got it.” he cut her off. “You think he doesn’t know? Let me tell you something, though. That boy loves you. I’ll-die-for-you loves you. That’s rare, sweetheart, and that takes courage. You’re spitting on that. Nobody’s asking you to be happy with the cards you’ve been dealt but maybe show some common decency, yeah? ‘Cause if you think Peeta’s any happier about this wedding than you are, you’re wrong. He’s just not making a scene about it every chance he gets like some spoiled toddler.”

She glared at him and stormed out, making sure to slam every door she could on her way out.

It did nothing for the permanent headache building behind his eyes.

He was sick and tired of lying in bed so he dragged himself to the shower. Like everything else lately, it was harder than it should have been. It was a struggle to reach the bathroom, it was as if his legs were out of practice. His muscles clenched and relaxed without any input from his brain.

He held onto the sink to keep himself upright and took a good long look in the mirror. He looked like hell. Dark circles under his eyes, pale complexion that looked less than healthy, beard eating half his face, tangled hair…

He had lost weight too.

He didn’t try to catch a glimpse of what his back now looked like. The scars wouldn’t be pretty and he didn’t feel he needed the visual. With a sigh, he accepted that he would never manage to stand long enough for a proper shower. He ran himself a bath instead.

He was completely exhausted by the time he lowered himself in the hot water. It wasn’t that bad a place to take a nap anyway. He washed himself quickly, feeling better once the grime of the last week was gone, and then he slumped down in the water, resting his head against the side of the tub.

He woke up with a crick in the neck and Peeta looking down at him.

He startled. Whatever foam had been in the water had long disappeared and, while he was aware the boy had been his main caretaker while he was out of it, it still made him feel awkward to be caught naked in his own bathtub.

“You mind giving a man some privacy?” he scowled.

“I’m sorry.” Peeta made a face. “You weren’t answering and I grew worried.”

“Well, I didn’t drown. Get out.” he growled.

“Yes, of course.” the boy nodded. “You’re sure you don’t need help?” He tossed the soap at the kid’s head who ducked and then lifted his hands in mock surrender. “Fine. I’ll be downstairs. You can shout when you want something to eat.”

He was so done with being coddled.

He hauled himself out of that bath, resolved to go back to some semblance of normalcy. He brushed his teeth for a good ten minutes, hoping it would get rid of the bad taste lingering in his mouth, and then considered the mess that was his hair. Shaving it all seemed the most practical solution but once the razor was in his hand, he wasn’t that sure anymore. The tremors weren’t as bad as when he had first woken up from his delirium a few days earlier but nobody would have been able to claim his hands were anywhere near steady.

He tried shaving his beard first with mildly successful results. He left uneven patches of stubble behind and more than a few cuts. He looked like a clumsy teenager after his first shave and he rolled his eyes at himself, giving up on the idea of doing anything to his hair.

Whatever.

He put on the first pair of sweatpants he found and slipped on the thickest woolen sweater he owned. The smell in his bedroom was awful and he opened the window, leaning out to breathe some fresh air. It smelt like spring. He hated that season. Spring meant a new reaping.

It also meant he had survived longer than he had expected to when Cinna had told him Thirteen had bailed out.

He was starting to think they really weren’t going to off him after all, just make his life a living hell.  

The bed was a mess of dirty sheets even by his own standards so he changed it, grateful for the fresh linens Hazelle had stocked in the closet.

He was bone-deep tired when he was done with that and he was sure Aster would have had something to say about overdoing it but he pushed himself all the same and forced himself to walk down the stairs and to the kitchen where Peeta was doing… whatever with his oven. Something was boiling on the stove, smelling rather good, and his stomach grumbled.

“Should you be up?” the boy worried.

“Probably not.” he muttered, dropping on a chair. “So… What did I miss?”

“Not much.” Peeta shrugged, filling two plates of stew. It was mostly vegetables, Haymitch noticed, no meat. He was hungry but the idea of eating made him nauseous. He had long been conditioned to eat what was in front of him though, used to not knowing when the next hot meal would come. It had been a long time since he had had to worry about food but there were things that never went away. He stabbed a carrot with a fork without too much effort and it would probably have been impressive if he hadn’t been aiming for the turnip next to it. The thing in the oven turned out to be bread and Peeta distractedly cut the loaf in two while he talked. “They reopened the mines.”

“Good.” he commented with relief.

“But they cut down the wages in half.” the boy added with a wince.

“Less good.” he sighed, shaking his head. It would be a disaster in the long run.

He wondered if the same thing was happening in other Districts or if it was just them. He wondered if it was the Capitol’s way of reminding everyone of its strength or if it was meant as a punishment for Twelve’s victors.

“Thread likes Dad’s bread.” Peeta declared, almost out of the blue. “Mom tried to give it to him for free but he started talking about how bribes wouldn’t be accepted…”

“They’re alright?” he frowned.

Peeta stared at his plate rather than looking at him, never quite at ease when it came to talking about his family. “You know Mom. She can get out of anything.” He shrugged. “I guess we know Thread likes bread.”

“Great. What’s the plan, bread boy? Poison his next loaf?” Haymitch snorted, stabbing another carrot – one he had aimed for, this time. “You’ve got better plans usually. Sounds like something Katniss would come up with.”

“Well…” Peeta let his sentence trail off.

“Should have known.” he scoffed, rubbing his eyes. “That girl’s a menace. Talk her out of that, it’s the last thing we need.” They ate in silence for a while, lost to their own thoughts. It was only once he was cleaning the sauce on his place with his piece of bread that he talked again. “How’s the arm?”

Peeta’s sleeves were rolled up on his forearms, free of any bandage, but Haymitch could see the reddish line on his skin.

The knowledge that he had been the one to do that…

“It’s fine. Really.” the boy offered. “I didn’t even need stitches.”

His grey eyes remained on his now empty plate. “Sorry.”

It wasn’t a word he said too often.

“You don’t need to…” Peeta started.

“Yeah, I do.” he cut him off, looking up at him.

The expression on the boy’s face looked a bit too much like pity for his taste. “Then, I forgive you.”

Haymitch cleared his throat and stood up to clear the table. Just because it was something to do. He still wasn’t sure his legs would hold his weight but he tried to ignore that small fact like he liked to ignore his biggest problems.

“Effie called twice.” Peeta announced.

The dirty dishes clattered in the sink more brutally than Haymitch had meant to. “What did you tell her?”

“That she could do whatever color theme she wanted for the wedding?” the boy joked. “She wanted your opinion. And she wanted to know if you would like to give Katniss away.”

He highly doubted that was what Effie had really been after.

“You told her about…” he hesitated.

“No.” Peeta shook his head. “I wasn’t sure how much was safe to say on the phone.”

He shouldn’t have been impressed by the boy’s foresight. Peeta had proven himself quick on the uptake before. But he was a little bit all the same.

“Smart.” he agreed, leaning back against the counter to watch the kid. “So what was I doing that was so important I couldn’t talk to her?”

“I told her you weren’t in the mood to chat.” Peeta winced. “She wasn’t really happy.”

“You don’t say.” he sighed. There would be hell to pay about that probably.

“I’m not sure at what time the Quell’s announcement is.” the boy said. The switch of topic threw him a little because he had forgotten about that. He made quick calculations of how much time he had spent completely cut off the world and concluded the announcement should take place in two days time. Too soon. He wasn’t ready to spend two months agonizing over whatever sick twist the Capitol would play on his next tributes – if he lived long enough to witness it – all the more so without liquor. “You could call her to ask.”

The suggestion made him lift his eyebrows and a smirk stretched his lips. “Careful, boy. You’re becoming really good at scheming. Must be my awesome influence.”

Peeta dismissed that with an amused shrug and left before curfew, after making sure Haymitch would be fine on his own. He wasn’t sure that he would be fine on his own but he was sick and tired of being treated like an invalid so he hurried in kicking the boy out.

Then he grabbed the phone, his eyes automatically darting around for a bottle of liquor because he usually drank while she talked his ear off. Habits were hard to break. And he would still have killed for some booze.

The line rang for the longest time before she picked up and her voice was lost to a loud music and the sound of laughter and conversations. She must have been giving a party.

“Effie Trinket, speaking.” she answered cheerfully.

“You’re drunk.” he accused. She had her drunk voice.

“Tipsy, actually.” she retorted, quite frosty. “How good of you to finally find me worth talking to. Unfortunately, I am currently busy and it is of the utmost rudeness for a hostess to ignore her guests so… What did you want?”

He hated it when she took that petulant entitled tone. He was doubly annoyed because he actually enjoyed hearing the sound of her voice. He missed her. It came out like a pang in his chest.

He missed her.

Not that he could tell her.

Not that he should.

It really was the worst time to realize that maybe…

“What time’s the announcement again?” he asked. “We can’t remember.”

“Eight pm for us. So… Ten pm for you.” she answered casually. “As your TV would have told you if you had bothered turning it on. They are advertising it everywhere.”

“Not much one for TV.” he reminded her. “I’ll leave you to your fun.”

“I was not expecting any apologies for your atrocious behavior but you could at least sound a little more contrite.” she huffed.

“Believe it or not, I’ve got other things to do with my day than listening to you prattle about a fucking wedding.” he snorted.

“Awful man.” she snapped. “I will never understand why you take so much pleasure in hurting my feelings.”

“Cause it’s so easy it’s almost no fun.” he retorted. The argument was so familiar he didn’t even need to think about his replies. They had played that scene a thousand times before.

“I am glad it amuses you. Now if you will excuse me, there is a charming gentleman right here who wishes to court me and I am of a mind to let him.” she snapped.

“Make sure he’s rich first.” he taunted.

She huffed and then the line rang dead.

He was irritated with her stupidity. Couldn’t she have understood than bigger things were happening? Had she already forgotten about Cinna and Portia?

Or was she simply playing it that way to fool everyone?

It was the problem with her. She was too good at the game. Sometimes, he couldn’t really tell.

She didn’t call the next day or the day after that and it left him in a sour mood.

He pretended really hard that it had nothing to do with images of charming gentlemen sweeping her off her feet with roses, champagnes and clever declarations of love he wouldn’t have had the first clue about professing. He pretended that the thought of her with another man, in another man’s arms, in another man’s bed wasn’t enough to make him seething mad with jealousy. He pretended he still believed she was nothing more than an easy go-to lover.

Mostly, he failed and made everyone around him pay for it with harsh words and snappish retorts.

Aside for his irritability, he felt better though. The more he moved around, the less sluggish he felt. The headache never really went away and the tremors could be bad but his stomach stopped being so upset and he wasn’t scared of collapsing after two steps anymore.

On the morning of the quell’s announcement, he followed Katniss around the District. It was his first time leaving the Village since Thread’s arrival. Almost three weeks. To say he was apprehensive would have been putting it mildly but he kept a detached expression and made a lot of stupid jokes sorely to annoy the girl.

Annoying Katniss was almost as satisfying as annoying Effie.

He had been anxious about how people would behave with him. He didn’t want their pity. So many people had ended up victimized by the Peacekeepers that his whipping was old news though. Nobody even blinked at seeing him walking around. They were too used to his hermit behavior. It wasn’t the first time he had remained holed up in his house for weeks at a time. Nobody had ever ventured to the Village to check if he was still alive before and there was no reason for that to change, all the more so now that the kids were there. It might have hurt him a little that people so obviously didn’t care but he pushed that aside. They were right not to. He didn’t deserve it. What had he ever done for them anyway? Aside for having a new trigger happy Head Peacekeeper appointed, that was.

Twelve looked like a ghost town.

People were hurrying from point A to point B. There was no lingering in the street, no chatting with neighbors… Everyone was tossing frightful glances around, studying everyone else with suspicion… There was also a nervousness in the air that he attributed to the closeness of the announcement. People were dreading to know what would happen to their children, he figured, and with reason.

The Third Quarter Quell…

Seventy-five years of Games… In retrospect, it seemed almost arrogant of him to have thought he could put a stop to that. The Capitol was a monster he was too weak to defeat. It would have taken a hero and he was nothing of the sort. Katniss could have. Maybe. Or she could have, at least, looked the part.

They stopped at the apothecary – the reason for the trip in the first place – and grabbed everything Aster had put on her list. They circled back by the meadow to go home and Katniss looked beyond the electric fence with longing. The humming sounded loud in the unnatural fearful hush that lingered on the District.

She missed the woods, he knew, missed the freedom she found there.

Just like he missed his booze.

He didn’t try to offer any empty words but he nudged her shoulder with his.

She nudged it back.

They didn’t need to talk about it, they understood each other, he thought.

He declined the offer to dine at her house and trudged back to his own, short of breath and almost drunk on all the fresh air he had just gotten.

He waited all day for the phone to ring.

It didn’t.

Fuck her, he mused, his mood darkening with each hour that passed.

He was restless. His foot tapping the floor impatiently, his eyes darting between the book on his lap and the TV, waiting for it to start… He clutched a glass of water just because the simple act of holding one in his hand was a little soothing. Maybe his brain thought it was liquor, maybe it was just habit. All that was certain was that he thought better when his fingers were wrapped around a glass.

His heart was beating uncomfortably hard in his chest as he waited for the stupid program to end and for the announcement to start.

He wanted to know what they were going to face, what their tributes would be in for.

He would need to start prepping the kids for what mentoring entailed and he wasn’t looking forward to that.

When Panem’s anthem finally rang, he wished time could freeze.

He realized he wasn’t ready for what was to come.

[blschaos3000-blog]

Its 5:00 pm humid/rainy

Welcome to “8 Questions with….”

For this edition of “8 Questions with….” I decided to take a different route,instead of finding my interview guest on FB,I decided I would select an interesting person from Twitter.  As I was scrolling my wall,I started noticing a handle called “!!Coby Creatiions!! and decided to check it out and see who this Coby was. My first instinct was Coby was a artist and I have been hankering to talk with another artist ever since I chatted with Louie De Martinis but artists are hard to pin down (yo,Meaghan!!) due to the nature of their work. So asked I asked Coby if he would be willing to talk about his work and himself,I wasn’t expecting such  a quick reply when he “Sure”. I found Coby to be a very pleasant and cheerful person to chat with and that while he is a very good artist as shown by two pieces in the interview,his main passion is writing. He is currently in the middle of writing a novel which is never a easy task and when it gets a little heavy,he pops out for a little California sun. Coby recently started a blog and has started posting his stories and updates there. I provided a link below.  But before you head for the blog…slow down and read my interview with Coby Crawford of Coby’s Creations.

  Please introduce yourself and tell us about latest project

My family calls me Coby and my friends call me Crawf(ord). Twenty-eight years old, living the slow life in Ocean Beach, California. I’m from the small town of Bethesda, Ohio. Moved to Columbus and then here to separate myself from distractions and really get into my work. My main focus is on writing, although I do some illustrations and teach a paint ‘n’ sip class here in San Diego. My most recent finished project is a short story titled “There’s Something in The Woods” but I’m currently in the editing stages of a novel I’ve been working on for a while now. It consumes most of my time.

What was it like growing up in your home? Were your folks readers/artists as well?

My parents weren’t very artistic. I have a feeling that my dad could be if he ever tried, but he’s a very proper man. Not a lot of expression—a bunch of grayscale clothes. But he’s very intelligent and likes all the greats like Lord of The Rings and Star Wars. My mom is the total opposite of my dad. We like to go out and have fun together. We like a lot of the same music, so we hit up concerts together. My older brother is a very good artist. He has great tastes in films and good stories. So, the fact that he loved my novel makes me confident.

Who were your favorite writers/artists growing up? Which came first to you…writing or drawing?

If I had to pick one, I guess I would say Dickens. But, my love for writing didn’t develop as traditionally as most. It started as a love for film. I would always watch these movies, but really get into the story—which ones had the most character growth or took me on an emotional ride? If someone died, and I felt heartache because the writer and, in this case the director, had somehow managed to make me emotionally attached to a character in two hours of watching a story he just made up—I think that’s amazing. My drawing came far before my writing, although it didn’t necessarily come before my story telling. I can remember sitting at my grandma’s coffee table, not old enough to be in school yet. I would draw things that I made up. Maybe a creature from another planet. Maybe a foe for Batman, from a Batman story I made in my head. That’s just a random example.

 Is there a difference between an illustrator and an artist? If so, what are they?

In my opinion, yes. Artist is a very broad term. Maybe I use it too generally, but I’d call anyone who creatively expresses themselves an artist. An illustrator is just a more specific type of artist that specializes in illustration. You don’t have to be an illustrator to be an artist, but you do have to be an artist to be an illustrator. 

 What scares you?

I fear never feeling like I succeeded as much as I could have, but it wouldn’t make any sense to have goals shy of the moon. I am striving for the absolute best version of myself. I am writing because I want to become one of the best. I don’t fear death, just not accomplishing as much in a lifetime as I could have. Sometimes it drives me, but it’s also a bad mindset. Sometimes I can’t enjoy things like going to a movie or to the beach, because I’m not revising a short story so another one can come sooner rather than later.

Where do you get your ideas from?

They come from all over the place. The idea for the novel I’m writing came to me when I was at the Fashion Meets Music Festival in Columbus. I was watching Ludacris with my brother and girlfriend at the time and I looked over and told them the most random thought for this fiction adventure. That was the seed, then the rest of the story came later. I don’t fish for ideas. I don’t sit around and think what a good story would be. They’re just somehow there one day. I could be driving down the road, see something on a sign that gets me thinking about a topic and then suddenly, I have a great story idea.

What is a typical day for you like, creatively wise? Walk us through a day when are you are working on a project?

Every morning I wake up and promote Coby Creations on my social media platforms from my phone. Then, once I’m alive and moving, I’ll be making a smoothie and coffee in the kitchen, shower and out the door. I can not stay at home if I want to accomplish a lot. I’ll be getting up and looking in the fridge or just creating ways to distract myself. I like to go to this local coffee shop, set up shop at a table and go to work for hours. There will be a pen and notebook beside my laptop. I’ll be typing and then a simple detail or sentence will pop into my head that would make the story better and I’ll write “go find where Chris said this and change it to that.” I’ll know when it’s time to stop. I’ll be forcing words onto the page, when before they would spill onto it. At that point, when I feel like the writing is done for the day, I’ll read and study the works of others for inspiration.

 How do you challenge yourself creatively?

I challenge myself to get weird with it. Stories are only crazy until they’re successful. I don’t limit my creativity. For the longest time I was afraid to show my work because I was afraid of what others might think of it. Some of the stuff I write can be out there, but it’s something special when I let go and write like nobody would see it. Then, I post it on the internet for everyone to see. It’s very freeing to express yourself in your work and show it to the world. I think everyone should be expressing themselves all the time. But you also must be brave enough to face the feedback and criticism. 

 Which is in a better place right now in your opinion: Horror novels or horror films and why?

I would have said novels for the longest time, but at this moment I’m going to say films. I’ve seen some great directors emerge recently like Ari Aster and Jordan Peele. There will always be the ones banking on the possessed dolls or a remake of a remake of some old slasher to sell tickets, but I’ve been very impressed with the originality in some of these horror films in the last half decade. 

 Which three artists/illustrators are tearing it up today and what makes them great?

I don’t know a lot of illustrators by name. They never get the credit they deserve. For an example—I was watching Into the Spider verse and couldn’t quit thinking about how amazing the artist behind that must have been. But unless you read the credits, you’ll never know. I don’t give my input on topics I’m not knowledgeable about. But, since you said artists, I’m going to use it as the broad term I talked about earlier and spin the question. Jack White just released new work. He’s one of the best musicians to ever do it. Tarantino’s new film looks like it’s going to be incredible. He’s pretty much owned the game for fifteen years. And how about George R.R. Martin having the world wrapped up in his story? They’re all original. They aren’t doing anything but being themselves. 

 The cheetah and I are coming to watching a showing of your work but we are a day early and you are now playing tour guide. What are we doing? 

Ocean Beach is the most down to Earth place you will ever step. We’ll take a walk up to Newport Avenue and hit up Hodad’s—the greatest burger joint ever! You’ll get a wave from 9 out of 10 people we pass. Then we can go to a crowded beach full of people from across the world, mostly in San Diego for the surf. Or we can go to one of the numerous secluded beaches around the city where there’s less noise and more relaxation. If your friends with me then you like to go out Saturday night. We might head down to the Gaslamp District. But if it’s a random Tuesday we might watch the sunset and waves from my patio and order a pizza from Poma’s. It’s fire!

  I like to thank Coby for his time,his talent and his words. I’m posting links to his Twitter and his new blog so you can keep up with this very talented young man.

You can follow Coby on his Twitter here.

You can also enjoy Coby’s creativity at his blog “Coby’s Creations“

Oh yeah,you can follow us as well on Facebook and Twitter.

Feel free to drop a comment or three……

8 Questions with……………writer/artist Coby Crawford Its 5:00 pm humid/rainy Welcome to "8 Questions with...." For this edition of "8 Questions with...." I decided to take a different route,instead of finding my interview guest on FB,I decided I would select an interesting person from Twitter. 

[h-i-raeth]

ALL THE #AESTHETICS

Well, you asked for it. (Full monster answer under the cut.)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

I’m… Not sure exactly. Me and my siblings do a lot of singing in general. The last time I sang was an attempt to get two of the babies to calm down  by repeatedly singing an approximation of “Teddy Bear Picnic” earlier today.

But to myself?

Definitely within the last week, either in the shower or during/following a session of negativity.

Edit: Since starting to fill this out, I have taken a shower, and sung Satisfied, How Far I’ll Go, and Love Like You.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Many things. Things that maybe it would be better not to know, but then again could anything be worse than the constant back and forth of uncertainty?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I like to think it hasn’t happened yet.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Playing naked or nearly naked in warm mud in a large puddle of our driveway in West Virginia, with a plastic slide I’m fairly certain we still know the whereabouts of being used as a mud slide, and mud completely covering myself and the three siblings who where alive at the time.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Probably. I see myself being even less concerned than I currently am about… Well, anything and everything. Doing a lot of writing, particularly messages for people to find following my death, and quite possibly planning my own funeral.

I’d just spend a lot more time doing things I enjoy and refusing to do things I don’t. And finding some way to gradually prepare anyone I care about for my imminent departure.

But also. Just. I guess I’d probably be more carefree? Secure in the fact that I’m going to die soon and not have to deal with anything here on this mortal plane and that it is inevitable and hopefully by a means which those I leave behind who I not only care about and love, but like, will not blame themselves for.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I have a vague idea of things I’d like to do before I die, assuming I live long enough to do them, though I haven’t taken the time to rank them.

The first three that come to mind are;

1) Take a road trip to visit everywhere I used to live and maybe say hi to the people I used to know.

2) Visit/participate in a Renaissance Festival, and/or other such immersive role-playing festivals/faires/activities

3) Become more comfortable with [my] life and living

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Well, since he’s in the room at the time of typing this…

My third-youngest brother and fifth-youngest sibling, who, if you didn’t count me, would have exactly the same number of older brothers and younger brothers and older sisters and younger sisters, is hyperactive and plays lots of video games and loves watching gaming videos on youtube, but he’ll beg you to play with him actively inside or outside if he thinks about it. He has blonde hair, and blue eyes, and is six years old. He looks cute, but as a big sister I’m obligated to think that.

He’s hyperactive. Intensely so.

He has trouble keeping his temper, and is simultaneously spoiled and lacking attention. He makes me anxious, with some of the sentiments he parrots and how he acts. Many of my siblings do.

He seems to think violence solves problems. He likes to violently declare he hates something, though if you’re patient with him about it he usually comes to like it. He likes to root for the villain, to seem cool.

He worries me.

Every once in a while he hugs you so tight and tells you he loves you and it makes you ache and I want to protect him and teach him and make sure he doesn’t end up like us in the end.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I’m still trying to figure that out.

I mean, I like it, I guess. I certainly wouldn’t change anything large about it, as far as I’ve been able to determine. But I don’t know exactly that it was happy, though I think I was happy. 

And I’m certain that it’s affected me deeply in conceivably negative ways.

And

Well

Other things

So…

Still trying to figure it out.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Yesterday.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

@clichenuance, definitely. He appreciates the stars and space, and I’m comfortable with him, and my sibling are all either hyperactive or grumpy, and I like hanging out with him, he’s dear to my heart, and he’s most likely to be able to actually identify/be able to point out asterisms and constellations, and… Well, et cetera. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

If they were the right sort of stranger, or I was feeling the right sort of reckless.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I’m not sure. Probably not too long ago, within the last few months, and probably a sibling or @clichenuance, depending on exact definitions.

My siblings are my world. @clichenuance is my best friend.

That doesn’t quite accurately describe what either of them are to me, but it’s the best I can do without getting disgustingly sappy.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

“I’m more at peace this way, honest, please don’t be sad, the one thing about dying that would upset me would be if you suffered from it…”

You can’t honestly expect me to pick just one.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

It tends to depend on the specific shade[s]. 

In general, I find them interesting less often than I find lighter eyes interesting, though that could be at least partly because the majority of the people I interact with positively have lighter eyes.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

After much agonizing and asking a friend for random numbers to narrow it down…

“Stories are the most important thing in the world. Without stories, we wouldn’t be human.” - Phillip Pullman

I can’t begin to stress exactly how much I believe in the power of stories.

How much I always have, since before I could read, even, and only growing as I learned how to read and write. Stories are the shape of the world, the lenses through which we interpret our experiences, how we share our thoughts and lives and precious moments.

I believe in stories as all-encompassing. As windows between worlds. As as real and true as anything we can consider “reality”, and in some ways more powerful.

Without stories, we wouldn’t be people. I believe that absolutely. What is consciousness, after all, but our minds telling us a story about the world and how we exist within it?

In every form, in so many ways, stories are important. At my very core, stories are important to me. They shape what I value.

I cannot live without my siblings because our stories are so intricately entwined that I could not imagine my story without theirs.

I value my friends, past and present and future, because of the stories we share and are sharing and will create together.

I look fondly on the places I have lived because of the stories that they are the setting for.

I participate in fandom because it allows me to interact with stories on another level.

I love theater because I love to be physically a part of telling a story, of a story itself.

I consume media for the stories it feeds me.

I write to share stories, to create them, to free them, to become them.

That is the significance of this quote to me. It’s what it means to me, what it has meant to me since I first read it, and what it will continue to mean to me if there is any justice in the world.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Contradictory Girl Stumbles Through Life In A Series Of Snapshots; Thinking Too Much But Never Coming To Any Definitive Conclusions

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Whatever my whims decided. I have little to no self control. 

Realistically I’d buy a house or several and fill it with interesting things and travel and give in to my whims and generally not worry until I burn out all the money, though I wouldn’t actively look to spend it, and definitely pay my favorite creators for their work.

I’d also provide basic and sometimes indulgent things to whatever family or friends I like, probably.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I don’t know.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dear Twelve Year Old Mess, Hello again.Things aren’t much different. We’re still definitely a mess. But we’re not as apathetic, and we’ve put in the effort to make friendships, though we aren’t maintaining all of them.In general, though, it’s better.Periods of bliss are shorter, but with improved self-awareness, and, so, sweeter, and less dangerous.Periods of negativity are more intense now, but an improvement over the extended periods of apathy, which come less frequently.We’re still trying to figure out how our life fits together. But in general we’re doing better. We’re actually working on it.Promise.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Punk appeals to me more, but in practice I guess I’d be considered more pastel? Maybe? I’m not really either though, I don’t put enough effort into my “style” for that. By which I mean most often except with rare exceptions I only put vague effort into my looks or others perceptions of me as me, if any effort at all.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I love them, in theory and generally in practice.

I just. The idea of modifying ones own body, as one pleases, for ones own pleasure. Yes. And they can be really cool.

Personally, I’m hoping to cover my skin in decorations that both are both aesthetically pleasing enough and mean something important enough to me that I not only want but need to permanently transcribe it to my body, but that’s just me.

In a wider sense, your body is your temple, please decorate it as you please.

1001/10, all the approval provided it isn’t monumentally bigoted or otherwise unacceptable.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

No, definitely not. Like, practically never. When one of my moms wants me to and they or one of their friends do it for me. Formal or extremely special occasions. When prompted/when somebody else does my make-up. When I’m performing in a play.

As for why…

Well, I don’t often care to. And when I’d like to on a whim my whim’s are sometimes dampened by the fact that I am not known as a person who wears make up, so if I did there might be assumptions or queries, and at the very least personal remarks, which makes me uncomfortable.

Still, if I actually knew how to do make-up, I’d like to think I might anyway.

Which brings me to…

I don’t know how to, and I haven’t much means to. And I don’t care consistently enough to put in the effort to learn to. And it’s my personal belief that, if I were to go to the effort to put on make-up, I might as well go bold with it or not at all. It seems a silly thing for me, personally, to go to effort for a look that is subtle or simply light. And I can not achieve any look I would want to put effort into on my own, and I’m not really comfortable asking anybody to help me.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

Er… “Sound the Bugle” from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron has become one of my go-to calm down/get out of a negative spell songs. Amongst others, several of which are from Steven Universe. That counts, right?

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

“Please get your act together.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

A country concert with my grandfather

At least one concert I can’t rightly remember, with my father or grandfather

A concert with an aunt and some cousins that was Rachel Platten, Christina Perri, and Colbie Caillat.

I liked them all well enough, but mostly they made me wish I’d gone with people I was more comfortable and casual with.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’d most like to receive a letter from one or more of three particular people I used to know, and I’d like it to tell me what they’re like now, how they used to think of me, if they still think of me, and, if they wanted to regain contact, how I might contact them. 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Technically, I do have a desk. I never hardly ever use it.

My “workspace” is my bedroom, generally.

Neither are neat. Technically, both are semi organized.

By which I mean papers are one place books are another and so on so that general categories each have their rather messy places.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Nestle into a nest of covers, with something to drink nearby ideally, do some idle task until I grow bored, or undeniably or pleasantly exhausted, turn on my side, put a pillow between my arm and my head, and contemplate pleasant situations until imagining turns to dreaming.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Everything and nothing. It’s complicated.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I’d dye it one or more fantastic colors because if I’m going to make an effort to alter how I look I may as well go bold, and I suppose I’d style it similarly boldly for the same reason, or else make it short enough to be convenient, or else keep it as is since it’s long enough to put up.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

I don’t think I currently know five people I’d want to go on an excursion with all together.

I suppose if I had to…

two of the people I used to know in Maine, one particular person I used to know in Chickasha, Oklahoma, and two of the people I know now.

As for where to go…

Well, I haven’t the foggiest, beyond something exciting so that we’d have something to talk about. Perhaps a large Fair? I don’t know.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1: I wish for none of my wishes to ever backfire on me and part of that must be for them to follow what I mean rather than what I say.

(To cover my bases)

2: I wish for the power to manipulate reality when I specifically actively and consciously want to, how I specifically actively and consciously want to, going by what I mean and not what I think, and with foresight that is even better than hindsight and the ability to reverse any changes I make.

(This is a cheat wish and I am now a god with much more responsibility than by rights I should ever be allowed. And I can materialize candy whenever I want to and don’t have to worry about my teeth.)

3: I wish for common sense and some level of impulse control to keep myself in check.

(Take a guess.)

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Uh… None of the costumes I’ve ever put together have been spectacular, but I’m least embarrassed by the Headless Horseman “costume” I put together when I lived in Oklahoma.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I have never to my knowledge been drunk or high, though I’ve been tempted.

It would be an extraordinarily bad idea and monumentally stupid thing for me to do to give in to that temptation, knowing what I do about myself and my family history.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Allow my siblings or my pets or anyone else I love to come to harm.

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Only one song. As much as I dislike people in the general, the few I do like I cannot live without, and they number more than one. And I have the remarkable gift of being able to consume a piece of media I love an infinite number of times without tiring of it. So I shall suffer through only listening to one song, though please don’t ask me to pick which.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

I don’t know. I think about it sometimes, but I don’t really trust my own perceptions [about myself] / [about anything] and I prefer to err on the side of caution.

I like to think it’d be a moment of certainty following a glance at someone, but it seems like maybe it’s more split-seconds of certainty followed by hours of convincing myself I’ve only convinced myself I feel that way, with periods of being able to deny a feeling and of being unable to deny a feeling and wondering whether to half hope that that feeling means what it might or to hope it doesn’t mean what it might at all.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I don’t know. Would I be willing to chop off all of my hair off in whatever style? Absolutely. Could I “rock” really short hair? No idea. Probably not, though I’d love to.

If someone wants to tell me if I think I could or not that’d be great Almost none of you know what I look like and it’s definitely probably going to stay that way.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Hot Chocolate, because I don’t like coffee and it’s simplest and go-to, though I don’t really go to starbucks at all, so.

I would trust… uh… Well, not my siblings, at least not all the time. Especially not on April Fools day, because I have a sister who currently owes me a foul drink sometime in my future.

In general, though, I suppose I’d trust anyone who took me to a place to order for me if I trust them enough to willingly go to somewhere where there’d be ordering and I didn’t suspect them of pranking desire/chance of intentionally messing it up.

Just. If you pass inspection, and you know something of my dislikes and the place we’re at, I’ll let you order for me and we’ll avoid the hour and a half of me agonizing over the options.

In specifics, @clichenuance is free to order anything for me any time he likes/if it ever becomes necessary.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Ask again later, maybe?

Woo, it’s done! Took me all day, but.

Thanks for that. Though it was a bit of a pain, it was also a pleasure.

Not that that’s particularly surprising for me.

[presta-hero]

Essay for Love: Ancient Approach

I provides my grandma and grandpa that I would adhere to them for a few years in the summer months, after a finish my school term. When providing love description, we find the item appropriate to turn to an explanatory dictionary. For modern absolutely love essays, they give us distressing warnings.

The philosophical and anthropological problem of love emerged previously, in olden days. So , here I am, moving along an old time graveled roads, breathing in fresh new rural atmosphere and looking forward to meeting my favorite dear relatives. A concept that every other love is because love on the way to yourself will start gaining popularity. In this property, a hundred stretches from the location I live life, I ultimately feel at home.

The philosophy of love has been seen diversely in every amount of human progress, depending on important and national environment. Many works about appreciate point out that an individuality appeared to be considered as a part of society back then, that is why man or women interests were definitely strongly bound to public products.

The final objective of love would gain growing old either by simply worshipping Aphrodite Pandemos in addition to giving birth to help children as well as by worshipping Aphrodite Urania and learning intellectual function. Nonetheless , classical longevity brings precisely this know-how about love.

We advise one more plan of distinction, which is while using specifics of any relationship concerning two subjects: My grandpa and grandma break into joy, and I come closer to these to embrace my favorite nearest men and women. What is more necessary, love adjusted its route from a specific person to the whole humanity. I can find out their house on the distance.

Renaissance leaves together each of the previous experiences and gives beginning to numerous treatises, in which humanism occupies the most important place, even while love is actually a simple people feeling. Most likely this is the most fascinating and common subjects while in the history with philosophy. PurEssay offers exclusively quality authoring from professionals in this field.

I will really need to remind the grandparents again to change the place where they keep the key. I am unable to tell you precisely how proud my grandparents are generally of their family home. Now it is time to go into and to interact with my grandmother and grandfather. There exist a lot of parts of view towards the moment as soon as love very first appeared.

To be a human developed psychologically, absolutely love acquired completely new complicated options and got innovative forms and the theoretic examination. This can be a two-storied, regal building cloaked in a distinctive atmosphere within the previous one hundred year. I just enter a significant living room, urgentessay.net just where my horrific lies on a sofa, browsing his classifieds, and the grandmother rich waters her property plants.

Through earliest period, human feelings were mainly connected with intuition, and like was not a definite phenomenon. At the same time, they find a way to take care of your garden: a beautiful spot, full of fragrant flowers in addition to branchy forest that forged their dark areas on wood made benches. I like this how the place stays neat in summers, resembling an authentic heaven on the planet in the world of hellish heat.

My great-grandfather built this for her family a lot of decades before, and he would you think his employment conscientiously. Selfish relative person won’t acknowledge the value of the other and is eager to accomplish only his or her own needs. Take a look at first of all try to classify all of our understanding of like and find out what kinds it you can easily name.

Web site approach deeper, I can previously make out smart windows, coloured in white. While our grandparents loaf on the job for a while inside or maybe work not in the patio, the dog whenever manages to greet my family before them. Then he acknowledges me, my dear Oscar, and gets going wagging its tail, going towards all of us. Ancient Greeks’ first consideration was studying the world, in support of after that installed childbirth.

Oscar is actually the first one to fulfill me in this article. Really, no matter what hot here this time in the year. Really like originated due to socialization about instincts: intuition of self-preservation, which in such a way united people, and reproductive : instinct, combined with maternal sensations, which established certain sentimental closeness.

Any middle ages essay regarding love declares that enjoy towards The almighty is the exclusively true love, although chastity could be the only advantage. Almost every thinker one or more times tried to define or discuss love. Essay for Love: Ancient Approach

In that essay at love, PurEssay team will tell you how the perception of this thought evolved after a while. Unpretentious love the motivation to give up your own interests for the sake of your loved one. I fiddle together with heavy hair, soft and even pleasant to the touch; however , I find myself pity with the creature that must be suffering from tremendous heat less than this membrane of fashion.

Seeing that women were not fit meant for philosophy, relationship only preoccupied their partners from believing. In addition to Desire, there were a tad bit more gods of love in Artistic mythology exactly who played essential roles additionally. The origin of love presents a very disputable subject. This type of enjoy is ideal since it leads to balance and a normal state connected with human internal.

The house seems fabulous and unreal, as though it steered clear of from a fairy story and tried to get misplaced among different houses on the village yet failed. Of course, she has a great deal of them, the two inside and out of doors. The love in between, which usually presents often the golden imply, implying in which both people today present same value in a very relationship and tend to be eager to survive for each additional.

This matter is still topical even in the modern world, and now you will get to it. Foundation of love has got several ways to classifying idea. Our creating company finds it necessary to seek out some info in the tradition of early Greece. This process is usually indefinite for the reason that human trend still keeps going.

Your backyard is clean, only a floral population raise most of their buds into the sun, and also to the stones, as if looking for life-giving elements. I can odour freshly manufactured pastry someplace in the kitchen, along with a warm feeling of coziness covers my coronary heart. Physical violence and by simply seem to suppress love in the modern tradition.

But 2 men could achieve far more together, purpose Aristotle assumed that enjoy was comparable to friendship. Whenever i enter the front side gate, your pet dog looks at all of us suspiciously as well as barks once or twice. It truly is one often the presents of which my grandfather prepared personally when I had been little. Each epoch had their philosophers, research psychologists, sociologists together with other scientific brains who anxious themselves using love.

When i deeply inhale local atmosphere, and I stench a hint with flowers, quite possibly, my grandmother’s asters, nevertheless they may as well be any other think about because Me not very good during them. Love is put into the low, impolite Aphrodite Pandemos and the incredible Aphrodite Urania. Neo-Platonism develops, very, with its fans relying on Plato’s theories.

After I invest some time with the canine, I look into it for this grandparents, still I cannot find them any where outside. Industrial population is focused at consumerism; large production and even new technological know-how lead to a far more rationalized way of life. But only attitude could predetermine what kind of enjoy it was. Modern day lexicographers clarify love being a feeling of passion, but also because attraction this provokes sexual desire.

These kinds of prognoses will be dangerous to our society given that mechanized romances between people speak of inhumanity. This destination gets cozier every year. I wide open a heavy oak door along with a little crucial hidden below the welcome f?da. Some analysts believe that innovations in love would be rational together with deprived with emotions.

That is why many countries assist organizations and even movements of which promote standard family valuations. Our services make your school life simple and easy productive. The item depended on readers’ values, sociable patterns, perception of themselves and various other human beings.

This type of concepts like sympathy, benevolence and likely-hood became topical oils and element of that period. As I the actual building, the atmosphere around myself becomes awesome, and I like feeling precisely how my body relax down, as well. The v?ldigt bra Eros appears on phase; he is a strong unpredictable and even demanding the almighty, who evokes fear on other people perhaps even other gods.

Some people for their essays regarding love recommend dividing that into increased and decreased. In our short go about appreciate, we will keep to the opinion which love sprang out together with people because a people always expected communication plus close romances with very much the same beings. In the event ancient Greeks followed the principle of beauty, medieval modern society switched to principle for morality.

So , here, PurEssay provided the definition of love, enumerated it has the main models and explained to you what sort of notion of affection has evolved eventually. Later this attitude fades away, and the great start having interested in their very own feelings together with psychological factors. What I can tell for certain is that the stench is simply terrific, even though hardly ever perceptible.

These cases give agricultural soil towards the so-called purchaser love, as their characteristic characteristics are limited by low erectile culture and also lack of meekness. When it comes to Christianity, it gravely condemns human relationships outside photographer and care for corporal pastimes as low in addition to sinful. Our writers can create a identical essay in your academic demands or to create a work on a certain topic.

In Old love totally conformed that will religion. I am excited as always because immediately I am heading to my grandparents’ country bachelor’s pad. Other researchers single out unique variations of love, subject to its recipient: sexual like, paternal really enjoy, patriotic enjoy, love regarding God etc . The house is dealt with with a thick layer of light blue coloration that was clearly more saturated a year ago, still has disappeared due to the very hot sun with this territory.

My spouse and i still really like swinging there with a reserve in my present, pretending which drift off and then rise in remote countries. A single tree possibly even has a hand-made swing hanging from it. People start expressing out this emotion among ordre and even will fear it all.

It results emergence of lyric finery, which results in being the leading branch of poetry. The grandparents are generally constantly perfecting changing the interior of the house.

The post Essay for Love: Ancient Approach appeared first on Presta Hero.

[ellanainthetardis]

Prompt, Based on the one where Katniss calls Effie 'Mom': The group visits Annie & Jo in 4. Katniss' mom finds out they're there & overhears Katniss' kids calling Effie 'Grandma', & cue regret that she'd never met them, maybe someone even had to tell her who the kids were, & perhaps envy that Effie's closer to them all than she'll ever be now?

Here it is, some toastbabies with a side of old very domestic hayffie {X]

Grandma

The playgrounds in Four were a lot bigger thanthe single one in Twelve and Effie was running herself frayed trying to keep aneye on the children. Next time, she vowed, she would force Finn to come withthem. He was a nice young twenty-three year old man and he would never refuseher. He was even sweeter on her than his father had been. It was shocking torealize Finn was older than Finnick had been when he had died and when she hadseen him waiting for them on the station’s platform with Annie and Johanna, shehad been forced to swallow back a gasp.

“Relax, sweetheart.” Haymitch snorted.“Willow’s right there.”

Willow was climbing the monkey bars, urging hernewfound friends on – she was just as reckless as her mother and just as promptto make friends as her father. Effie blamed most of her grey hair on the eightyears old.

“And Rye?” she worried.

“Still in the sandbox where we left him.” hepromised, relaxing further against the bench they were sitting on.

He looked tired, she noticed, briefly takingher attention away from the children to study him. One of his arms wasstretched behind her along the length of the wood, his other hand was on hisknee and his fingers were restlessly drumming an uneven rhythm. He alwayslooked restless since the surgery. Or perhaps it was having been forced to giveup liquor for good.

On bad days, days when he felt weak and sick,he blamed her for what he was going through. He would have simply given up anddied if she had let him, let cirrhosis win and take him away from her… She hadfought and fought until he had surrendered and accepted to go to the Capitol toget a second opinion and then she had fought and fought until he gave in andagreed to have the operation. They could do all sort of things in the city, cure all sort of things that would haveotherwise been considered terminal. It simply had a price because those privateclinics didn’t operate pro-bono.

All their savings and a part of Peeta’s hadgone into getting him into that program and Plutarch still had been forced topull strings.

But it had been worth it. Oh, so worth it.

Now he had a brand new liver grown especiallyfor him from his own DNA – and perhaps it was similar to mutts and perhaps hehad had reasons to be wary but she didn’t care because he was alive. They wouldn’t have had much morethan a few more months together without that surgery and instead they had had twoyears and hopefully many more to come. Having to take meds every morning andnight and staying off the liquor were a small price to pay in her opinion.

“We are far too old for this.” she sighed.  At fifty-eight, she didn’t have the energyshe used to and the children were a handful on the best day. At sixty-four,Haymitch was even less partial to entire days spent watching children all tooprone to accidents. Babysitting was fine but she wasn’t sure how they wouldsurvive an entire week as their sole caretakers. “Next time, they can send themto Annie and Johanna.”

Truth be told, that week was supposed to be asecond honeymoon for Peeta and Katniss who had packed up for Seven while theytook the children to Four for the traditional summer trip. The children wouldjoin them later, at which point, Haymitch and Effie would switch hotels for asmaller cozier one where they would be able to have some honeymoon time of their own.

Haymitch tossed her an incredulous glance. “Youwanna send your preciousgrandchildren away for a whole week with only Annie and Johanna to supervise?”

“They didn’t do such a bad job raising Finn.”she countered.

His lips twitched into a smirk. “Have you metWillow?”

“Point taken.” she chuckled. Willow and Johannawould be a bad mix. Willow was always up to all sorts of shenanigans and Jo wasalways too willing to humor her. “Oh, no! Rye is crying…”

The three years old must have gotten some sandinto his eyes. Effie was already halfway up but Haymitch waved her down,hauling himself off the bench to hurry to the boy. Despite his grumpy attitude,she watched as Haymitch’s irritation melted around the baby of the family. Ifanyone had ever told her she would see Haymitch Abernathy, Quarter Quellvictor, willingly sit down in a sandbox to play with a little boy, she wouldhave laughed hard enough to break a rib.

Rye being safe with Haymitch, she turned herattention back to Willow who had now urged her little group of friends to theslide. They were apparently playing at having an adventure and Effie smiledwith fondness at the girl’s antics. She was having the time of her life, itseemed. Hopefully, if she exhausted herself enough she wouldn’t beg to go tothe beach later on. Effie refused to let the children in the water if there wasno adult to supervise – which often meant herif Annie or Finn were otherwise engaged. She could never say no, of course, it was the point of theholidays after all but… She wouldn’t have minded a quiet afternoon, truth betold. A fashion magazine, a cocktail…

Perhaps they could take the children furtherdown the pier where there were carousels and ice cream to distract them fromthe ocean when they would be done playing. They would enjoy it and they couldall go to the beach in the morning instead of…

“Miss Trinket?”

Effie looked up at the woman who had called hername, adjusting her pink sunglasses on her nose to see better – she was up toall tricks to keep people from knowing her sight wasn’t as good as it once was,she wore contacts and had her sunglasses corrected. It took her a few minutesto place her because it had been years since she had given her any thought atall.

“Mrs Everdeen…” she said slowly, without anywarmth.

Her feelings about the woman had always beensomehow mixed because she didn’t believe an eleven years old should have beenforced to care for her family when there was a capable adult present. But thathad been another world and she could have understood if the woman hadn’t packedup and left right before the end of Katniss’ trial, leaving Haymitch forced tostep up to take custody of the girl and thus compelled to leave her behind in the Capitol to look afterPeeta when she had barely been able to take care of herself and when theirrelationship had been at a very fragile breaking point. It had added a lot ofdifficulties that the obvious pain Katniss had felt at her mother’s desertionhadn’t helped curb. Never mind the lack of surprise on the girl’s part.

The healer looked hesitant but she flashed hera small smile. “I thought it was you. You haven’t changed at all.”

Effie patted her dyed strawberry blond hairself-consciously, she kept the reddish hue because Haymitch was fond of it andbecause it was close to its original colors. There were lines at the corner ofher eyes but she supposed the sunglasses hid those. The blue summer dresshugged a figure that, fortunately, was still appealing enough in her ownopinion, the scars having faded enough in the last two decades not to be sonoticeable. The hands, though, were the dead giveaway. They were old woman’shands now. Wrinkled and sometimes swollen at the joints, preventing her fromsewing or knitting.

Wait until you hitsixty, Haymitchalways mocked because it was went his body had finally cried uncle for him. Notonly the liver but his knees and his back.

“You neither.” she offered politely.

It wasn’t a far cry from the truth. AsterEverdeen looked the same, albeit a little older. Her blond hair was mostlywhite now, it fell in a long braid over her shoulder. Delicate hands wereclutching the strap of a medical bag passed over a shoulder over a medicaluniform of some sort.

“Are you still living in Twelve?” the womanasked with a touch of… eagerness. “Katniss mentioned you had moved there a fewyears ago.”

Effie pursed her lips. As far as she knew,Katniss had had almost no contact with her mother aside from the occasionalphone calls in the years after the war – and those phone calls had becomeshorter and shorter until they had simply stopped. Aster hadn’t come to thewedding and the girl had never forgiven her for it.

She glanced at the boy who was now busy withhis favorite game of let’s climb Grandpa andwondered if the woman even knew about them. How long since the last timeKatniss had talked to her mother? She remembered it had been a big deal duringKatniss’ first pregnancy, how the girl had uncharacteristically sought her company at odd times because shefelt insecure and needed the input of another woman, one she was close to andto whom she could confide things that would have had Peeta and Haymitchrunning.

“I have been living in Twelve for more thantwenty years, yes.” she confirmed. “With Haymitch.”

“Oh, of course.” Aster smiled awkwardly. It was public knowledge after all. It hadmade quite the scandal and they had appeared together at various officialevents since then – the anniversaries of the rebellion weren’t things they wereallowed to miss, particularly when they hit a new milestone. The healer clearedher throat. “And how’s…”

“Grandma!” Willow shouted, choosing that momentto come running to the bench. “Grandma! Can I get Tali’s number so I can callher tomorrow for a play date, please? Her mother says I can have it and we cangive her Auntie Annie’s if you say it’s okay.”

Effie glanced from the flushed girl to thewoman who was standing next to another bench with a little girl, clearly aboutto leave. She rummaged in her bag for a piece of paper and quickly scribbledAnnie’s number on it. Willow snatched it from her hand and was gone before shecould even blink.

She shook her head with an amusement thatquickly faded when she looked back at Aster. The healer was staring at thechild.

“I didn’t know you had children.” Mrs Everdeencommented.

“I don’t.” she denied. “Not biologic onesanyway. Willow is…”

She never had time to confirm what the womanprobably already suspected because the girl was back, her prize clutched in herlittle fist. “Can you keep it safe for me, Grandma? I really like Tali. I don’twant to lose it.”

“Of course, darling.” she promised, placing thepiece of paper with her little friend’s number in her purse for safekeeping.“Wait.” she ordered before the child could scamper away. “Here, drinksomething. It’s too hot to be running around without proper hydration.”

Willow took the plastic bottle full ofstrawberry flavored water without protest and dutifully sipped from it, knowingthat the sooner she complied the quicker she would be allowed to go back toplaying. Her grey eyes fell on Aster and her eyebrows shot up, she pointed outat the woman’s hair. “My mommy does the same kind of braids.”

“Does she, now?” Aster breathed out, her eyesshiny. She dropped on the bench next to Effie who had half a mind to protestbut didn’t quite know how to handle the whole thing. What would Katniss wanther to do? It wasn’t her place todecide how to introduce the woman.

“Yep.” the girl nodded enthusiastically.“You’re a friend of Grandma?”

Mrs Everdeen flinched and Effie realized itmust have been a slap in the face to realize she was grandma. Their biologicalgrandmother was a stranger to them.

“I…” Aster hesitated.

“Hey, squirrel, why don’t you go back to playingwith your friends, yeah?” Haymitch suddenly cut in, his voice a touch wary.“They look like they’re waiting for you.”

Willow didn’t need to be told twice. She tossedthe bottle at Haymitch who caught it easily despite the boy clinging to hisneck and snickering hard at the game. It wasn’t long before Haymitch hadsecured the three years old against his chest and had handed him the bottle hissister had left behind. Rye took a few sips with obvious relief. He was lessflushed than Willow but it was clear he wouldn’t have minded some peace andquiet. The way he was rubbing his eyes, Effie figured it wouldn’t be longbefore he took a short nap. Without him needing to ask, she handed him the frayedstuffed horse that usually resided in her bag when it wasn’t in his arms. Hewedged it between Haymitch and his body, cuddling it close.  

“Hello, Haymitch.” Aster said, a bit waryherself. “Hello, young man.” Rye peered at her under his long eyelashes andthen buried his face in Haymitch’s neck, placing his horse over his head forgood measure. The woman smiled sadly. “I trust this one isn’t yours either?”

Effie shook her head. “Why don’t you say helloto the nice lady, Rye?” The boy clung to Haymitch a little tighter and refusedto look at the stranger. She shrugged apologetically. “He is a bit shy but heis such a sweet child…”

“He’s tired.” Haymitch said, his grey eyesnever wandering away from Aster. Effie knew that look. It was the way hewatched out for threats. “I was coming to tell you we should bring the kidshome.”

“Wait.”Aster pleaded, sounding scared. She searched Haymitch’s gaze, found no sympathythere and turned to Effie. “How old are they?”

She hesitated but really… “Willow is eight and Rye is three.”

“Rye…”the woman repeated. “Wasn’t one of Peeta’s brother…”

“Yes. His favorite one.” Effie nodded.

“Oh…” Aster breathed out, desperately staringat Willow who was once more leading her friends in an adventure. “But Katnissdidn’t name the girl after…”

“It was too difficult for her.” she interruptedswiftly. Rye was now watching them without looking like it and he was a brightlittle thing. He would tell his sister who was naturally curious and would putthe puzzle back together. Questions would be asked if certain names wereraised. “We all wanted a clean slate.”

Naming the children after dead friends andfamily members… Nobody had opposed Peeta’s choice to give his son his favoritebrother’s name because none of them had been close to the dead young man. Primnow… It would have been too painful. Rue had been pushed aside for the samereason. In the end, Katniss had decided her children wouldn’t carry that sortof weight.

“And they call you Grandma.” Aster stated,almost accusative.

Effie opened her mouth, feeling all defensive,but Haymitch got there first and there was a growl in his voice that hadintimidated more than one powerful person. “Cause she’s there.”

“Do they know you aren’t their realgrandmother?” the healer asked.

And it hurt.

It hurt alot.

She looked down at her knees, brushing imaginarycreases off her blue dress. Haymitch automatically cradled the back of Rye’shead as if to shield him from those words. Unfortunately, the boy’s blue eyeswere staring straight at Effie who gave him a small reassuring smile. It wasenough for the child to smile back before he started sucking on his thumb. Itwas a habit they were trying to break him out of but she didn’t chide him forit.

“Now, you listen and you listen hard.” Haymitch hissed. “Effie’s just asreal as…”

“Enough.” Effie declared, standing up.

“Sweetheart.” he warned with a  glare, clearly dying to say his piece. He hadclaimed to understand Aster’s decision to not go back to Twelve after the warbut her behavior since then, her failure to come back into Katniss’ life hadleft him angry and bitter. He hated to see his victor hurt.

“Darling.” she replied in the same warningtone. She found another piece of paper in her bag and scribbled Annie’s numberfor the second time before handing it to Aster. “Katniss and Peeta will join usnext week. Call your daughter if you wish to see your grandchildren.”

“Don’t call if you’re just gonna take offagain.” Haymitch snapped. “They’re kids,not toys. You can’t just waltz in their lives and disappear right after.”

“I didn’t disappear, I left her with you.”Aster protested faintly, rubbing her face. “I could never have… I knew you werethe best choice, Haymitch. I knew you would look after her better than I evercould have. She had always been closer to her father, you know, and you… Youfilled that gap in her life.”

“Yeah, well…” he grumbled. “Effie filled theone you left so…” He shook his head.“I mean it, Aster. If you call, you better be ready to own it.”

“Willow!” Effie signaled to the girl they wereready to leave and the child came running, wrapping her arms around her middlewith pleading eyes. “No, darling, we really need to go home. Your brother wantshis nap.” she said firmly before Willow could beg for five more minutes thatwould turn into a half hour. “However Iwas thinking that after a nap and a snack we might just go to the pier.”

Where there would be carousels and all sorts ofgames and where, she was sure, they would end up with one of those giganticstuffed toys Haymitch grumbled so much about because they had ended up with ahuge stuffed panda and a zoo of smaller animals in their guest room given thatWillow was running out of space to stock them at home.

The girl’s eyes brightened and she squeezed herwaist harder. “You’re the best Grandma in the whole world!”  

Aster flinched and Effie almost felt sorry forher. Almost.

It had been her choice to give up on herdaughter after all.

“How about me, squirrel?” Haymitch scowled,faking a pout. “Don’t even get a hug? I smell or what?”

Willow laughed, carefree and happy, andswitched targets to barrel into Haymitch. He winced a little when her head hitthe always tender spot on his stomach but it was soon smoothed away by anexpression of utter fondness.

“I am afraid we have to go.” Effie told Aster,polite but a touch cold. “Do consider giving your daughter a call.”

They didn’t give her a lot of time to ponderthat. Haymitch herded the children away, Willow clinging to his hand. Theyhadn’t gone really far from the playground when the girl grabbed Effie’s freehand so she could walk between them and peered up at her curiously. “Who wasthe lady?”

“An old acquaintance.” she dismissed.

The word seemed to puzzle Willow who made aface and turned to Haymitch for clarification.

“Just someone we used to know, sweetheart.” heshrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

Willow pondered that and then probably decidedit wasn’t worth her interest because she started hopping happily between them.“Can Finn take us to the aquarium again sometimes? I like watching the fish.”

“We will ask him tonight.” Effie promised. “Butif he can’t we won’t insist, alright?”

Finn had been working at the aquarium since thebeginning of the year and she didn’t want him to get in trouble for them. Heloved his job, he loved taking care of animals, and she wasn’t sure giving themthe behind the scenes tour had beencleared with his superiors.

“Okay.” the girl agreed readily. She escapedtheir hands to run a little ahead.

“Stay in sight!” Effie demanded, shaking herhead at how impetuous that child was. A glance at Rye confirmed the boy was nowsound asleep in Haymitch’s arms. “What did you think?”

“Not sure.” he admitted. “Just hope she’sserious about it if she decides to call Katniss. The girl’s been let downenough.” His lips twitched with anger. “She had some nerves too, saying you’renot their real grandmother. What’s thatsupposed to mean? Who was there when Katniss went into labor? Who changeddiapers? Who stayed up all night with the kids when Willow had that fever?Who’s always there to watch the babies when the kids need some air?” Hescoffed. “Got some nerves, I’m telling you.”

She smiled at how protective he was of her butwaved a dismissive hand in the air. “She was just jealous, I think. What I getto be to those children… She will never have it.”

He seemed a little surprised. “Didn’t botheryou?”

“The comment did a little.” she admitted.“But…” She shrugged. “A few years ago, I would have been afraid of her stealingthem all away from me. Now… Now I know nothing can drive us apart.”

They had all been close since the war, theyformed a solid family unit that the children’s babies had only strengthened.But after Haymitch’s health troubles… Katniss and Peeta had rallied around themin a way that had brought her close to tears a few times. Katniss had beggedhim to take the surgery, she had raged until she had burst out in full sobs andshe hadn’t stopped until he had held her close like he almost never did becauseneither of them were touchy-feely –as they claimed. Peeta was the one who had sat Haymitch down and had forced himto consider everything he would be leaving behind if he chose to just give upand accept his fate – not only Effie but Katniss and him and grand-children whoworshiped the ground he walked on. The children had been there every step ofthe way. They hadn’t come to the Capitol with them but they had called threetimes a day to check on him, to talk to him, to make sure everything was goingas best as possible – to the point he had one day exclaimed that he didn’t needto be that coddled, all the whileflushing red in embarrassment and, Effie was sure, pleasure at knowing he wasloved that much.

So, no,she wasn’t scared of Aster Everdeen coming and stealing the matriarch placeback because that place belonged to Effie and to Effie alone. Katniss herselfhad confessed she felt closer to her than to her own mother. There was noquestion about how Peeta felt about her. And the babies… Well… Willow and Ryeloved her, she knew it deep down and she was secured in that knowledge.

“Look at you being all wise.” he teased.

“It suits me well, I think.” she teased rightback.

It didn’t have to be all hers or all Aster’s.She could share a little of them.

But it was Aster Everdeen’s decision to takethat first step.