#maysdiors imagines

[i8jisoo]

𝐍𝐂𝐓 ⇉ are you happy?

jungwoo x female!reader | imagine

↬ summary; in which you’re there to make jungwoo’s night go right, even if his whole day went wrong — jungwoo can always count on you

↬ genre(s); romance, angst if you squint, fluff, kim jungwoo is my baby

↬ warnings; insecure jungwoo, cursing, jungwoo rly loves u

↬ notes; sry i’ve just been feeling rly unmotivated and i guess i’m just feeling really confused and sad right now so i just wanted to make this to feel better,, sorry i haven’t finish some requests i’m trying but i’m feeling bad right now and i don’t have any idea what to do for the prompts,, everything has just come to a halt right now, sry im taking this out on jungwoo

jungwoo sat on the carpeted floor of your living room, opting out of sitting on the couch and staring blankly at the tv. there he was, replaying an episode of an interview, he watched ahead. he didn’t even hear the sound of your keys clanking on the hook. he didn’t hear your foot-steps creak against the floor-boards. he definitely didn’t hear you slip behind him, the noise of you shuffling around fell onto deaf ears.

he was dressed up in a large t-shirt, thick sweatpants covering his lower half and his hair messy. he had an almost zombie like appearance — eyes red and strained from watching the tv so closely and for so long.

your hands made their way onto his shoulders, coming up to pull around his chest with a smile. “hey, what are you doin’?” you questioned, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and the aroma of his natural musk. jungwoo turned his head the slightest before answering, “nothing.”

just like how nothing went right in his day. he woke up late, his shoulder in pain from sleeping the wrong way. though, he made it to practice — if only he wasn’t ten minutes late. the left shoulder he had messed up while he slept was still throbbing, his moves more sloppy than usual and then to top it all off  — doyoung. 

the two argued about him today, calling him lazy and jungwoo having nothing to defend himself. everything compiled against him and nobody, he means nobody, nobody stuck up for him. he was livid. his hands gripped at his knees, scrunching up and his fingers locked. “what’s troubling you?” you murmured, fingers running through his hair to move the strands away from his face. you smiled, jungwoo’s head continued to move away from your touch.

“hey, what’s wro—“

“nothing! can’t you just leave it alone?” jungwoo shouted abruptly, the feeling of your arms around him annoying him further. it was so warm, you were warm. you were happy, so happy. he was so upset, so alone. jungwoo felt the burn of tears, his eyesight blurry and before he knew it — a sob broke from his lips. your face stood pressed into his shoulder as his body shook.

he hated it — this feeling. this rush of emotions and everything just down pouring, before he met you — he was alone. his face pressed into his pillow as it muffled his loud sobs or the days he’d be able to just be by himself. not anymore, you would not let him go to sleep by himself, nor wake up by himself, god, you wouldn’t even let him do anything by himself. you, you were such a happy person. you were there to pack his lunch and send him off with a little note.

jungwoo would even have you there, patching up his knees or hands or have you there to help him with his bruised palms and legs. you would make sure he was healthy and happy, that was all you wanted to do for anyone — but jungwoo was your top priority.

you shouldn’t have to deal with this, jungwoo thought. you shouldn’t have to deal with my mood changes or when i come home from practice with injuries. you shouldn’t be the one massaging his sore muscles, you shouldn’t have to be cooking for him every night. you shouldn’t have to come home to an empty house and clean to then cook and wait some more on him. you shouldn’t have to put up with his needs, so why did you? why did you stay with such a mess? how could you? why would you ever want to stay with him? how could someone like you ever love —

“i’m sorry.” you murmured, jungwoo gasping and his head jerking to you. “i’m sorry you’re so busy, you’re so mature now. i’m losing the soft side of you, woo. i just wanna know.. are you happy?” you ask, jungwoo’s eyes looking at you, shaking at your question. you smile softly, “i’ll help you, okay? i’ll help you.” his body turns, close to yours and you have to force his body to lay down with his head against your chest.

“if everything goes wrong in your day, i just want you to know, i’ll be here to make the night right.” you whisper, your arms hung around his waist. he listens to your heartbeat for a moment, continuing to nod after. “thank you, i love you.” you say, not earning a response but you can just feel his heart slow to match up with your own.

©️ maysdior 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[kkoongiee]

stray kids scenarios — nicknames you call eachother ‹𝟹

notes, dis was on my first blog but i decided to post it on here .. if anyone has seen this on maysdiors .. feel free to um like again, if u havent? welcome ^_^

personally, you and chan would probably only use these alone but there would be your slip ups where you used the nicknames around each-other. i honestly see you calling him like either channie or roo, but he’d probably call you the standard names like baby or babe, but also like i somehow see him calling you like little joey strangely enough? he’ll come back home and just go, “i’m back babe!” or he’ll have you coming to the studio and be like, “there’s my little joey!” in your case you would probably use these while you two are on the sofa cuddling, bored out of your minds, and you’d just be like, “channie, what do you wanna do today?” or if bangchan is upset or stressed, you would just run your hand over his hair or leg, just like, “roo, what’s wrong?” 🥺

i sorta imagine you using nicknames more than minho, which he really enjoys but nicknames just can’t seem to fall from his lips as often as you let out. i feel like he prefers just using your name or sometimes — rarely — calls you kitty. your nicknames could range anywhere from honey or catty. catty will only come out if he’s acting like a baby or you are returning his nickname for you. minho will be laying in bed, bundled up while looking at his phone, giving you a huff as you were still drying your hair. “kitty!! come to bed.” he’d whine, your lips perking up into a smile. you’d turn around so quickly, dropping your towel for your hair. “catty!! i’m here!!” you’d shout, joining him in bed with soaking wet hair. or you two would be together, at a dinner with the rest of the boys and you’d let the words slip. “honey!! he’s asking you a question!” minho getting so flustered and just everybody going crazy at your nickname, “y/n..” 🧍🧍

changbin loves it 100%. he is nott afraid to let you use any nicknames for him and he’s not afraid to use any for you. names like binnie and baby-boy especially he melts at, this man is weak at the knees when you say those names. he might call you angel or poppet, he learned how to say poppet and it was set as your contact name everywhere. one day the boys would all be together, sitting for a break in the practice room. “hey who’s pop… pet?” jisung would question, looking over changbin’s phone. changbin would reach for his phone so quickly, going into text back to you. bye sometimes he gets a lil embarrassed 😭 binnie do love u and ur nicknames tho

hyunjin doesn’t mind these names being used, usually liking it and just going with it whenever you decide to call him princess or sweetie. princess is definitely used during private intimate moments, whether it be lewd or just you two lying together, you’ll call him princess. i kinda have a thought of him calling you sweetheart or bug, like a tiny bug - definitely not caterpillar but more ladybug in mind. at first he was unsure about princess, but one day you just said it while you two were cuddling, feet tangled with a fuzzy blanket thrown over you both, and you just went, “princess, i love you.” he’ll just cuddle into you, turning so soft and blushy at your words, “mhm, love you too bug!” or if you’re around others, sweetie is the way to go. “sweetie, which one do you want?” or “sweetie, which one do you think looks better?” he’ll be like, “this one sweetheart!”, pointing at something or grabbing whatever he wanted.

jisung kinda thought of the names squish and little squirrel, meanwhile he might call you, petal or squirt. he thought of the turtle squirt from finding nemo everytime he saw you, so why not give you the name squirt? i think petal would be a more domestic nickname, using it around the house when he’s tired or maybe when just being around you anywhere in the house. the name squish really came from when you were on his lap, your hands pressed against his cheeks while he was giving you a pout. “look at my squish!” jisung’s eyes literally glimmering when he hears your nickname. “and look at my squirt!” he’d shout, mirroring your actions and squishing your face as well. or he’ll be writing really late at night, you’re just standing at the doorway, “hey, little squirrel,” the l dragging out at the end, “you need to come to bed.” jisung sighing while turning in his chair, “but petal..” he looks at you, “no buts, you can finish in the morning you’ve been up in here for hours.”

for felix i see the common lix being used, otherwise you call felix bun-bun. it came naturally, felix is your little bun-bun. his smile and freckles, with his cute lil nose just gave you the nickname bun-bun. i think felix might tend to call you chickadee or sunshine, he is with it when it comes to cute nicknames to call you. you guys will use the nicknames anywhere, i think y’all are pretty used to them so you guys may or may not have forgotten your real names. “lix.. m’tired..” you murmur, spreading out like a starfish in his lap. he’d pout, laughing at you. “well sunshine, it’s time for bed! no wonder why!” felix will come up to the counter, sitting on top of it while watching you. “what’s up chickadee!” you turning and smiling at him, looking at his pajamas and slippers on his feet. “what’s up with you bun-bun, you’re up early!” his hands coming up to his face, blushing at the nickname with a big bunny smile.

with seungmin obviously you call him minnie but something about you calling him pretty boy will make him so shy. he blushes instantly at your words and turn into a mess, especially if you give him a kiss or play with his hair after. i think seungmin would call you bubby or mousey, the names rolling off his tongue naturally when he first started to call you that. “minnie!! can you come here real quick!!” you call, he’s already out of his room and down the hallway to come to you. you’re probably on the couch and he’ll join you. “hey mousey!! what’d ya’ need?” he’d ask, cuddling into you, and just running a hand through his hair, smiling. “nothing minnie, just wanted you.” he’ll be leading you around the store, leaning on the cart, in pajamas at two in the morning. your tired appearance contrasts his excited appearance, he’ll be standing looking at the bags of snacks in front of him before side hugging you. “bubby wake up!!” he says excitedly, way too excited at this hour. “you tire me out pretty boy.” seungmin literally beaming at your nickname, already leading you to the next aisle.

to start it off with his, jeongin uses this all of the time, regardless of where you two are at or how loud he says it, he calls you dummy. he’ll say it and then smile, a literal demon. he also calls you pet, for whatever reason, pet stuck with you. you call him puppy, but think of a chihuahua who doesn’t stop barking, that’s exactly what you mean. you also call him hon, giving his cheeks a little squish. you two will be brushing your teeth together, side by side, jeongin will have his toothbrush in his mouth. “dummy, you have toothpaste everywhere.” he says, pointing at the paste dribbling down your chin. “hon, sorry, but i hate you.” you mumbled, spitting out your toothpaste in the sink and cleaning your face. “pet!!” he whines, pouting at you. “puppy..!! what!!” you exclaim, pretending to be annoyed. “can you get me water?” he gives you his little sad eyes, you frowning and groaning as you got up from bed to go retrieve his request.

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst

↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth

↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3

the night was a one night stand

seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards

so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best

you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were

the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you

hes there, ready to talk, looking great

ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair

you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk

“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”

i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby

“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”

it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before

he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you

he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously

“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”

hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”

seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up

hes scared but so excited

he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery

he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one

he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to

ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment

late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible

u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce

that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only

it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over

he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????

he’s pretty much a sweetheart

bless everyones heart though when they find out about you

“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”

haha surprise...

u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that

chan is fucken freaking out about this

“we’re gonna be uncles!”

everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign

ur days are average and u guys just act like friends

friends having a baby lmfao

it’s a fine line between dating and not dating

seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant

ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves

seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living

u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump

he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months

he’s super excited and just super nervous

so many expecting moms its crazy

when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you

the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently

his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile

the screen flickers on and theres your baby

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers

then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together

it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣

ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it

then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender

“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺

ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead

he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly

they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around

“there they are, we have a baby boy.”

seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him

he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy

u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like

“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”

ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked

then ur like 😮🥺😣

“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”

that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room

theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together

it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently

u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting

u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything

though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes

u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive

they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things

blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓

baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out

you two try a shit ton of things

name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything

everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn

sex.

both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward

you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care

“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”

he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea

he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!

both of you are vv nervous

his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything

they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew

seungmin is big daddy deffo

he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away

he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand

it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby

theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket

all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby

in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night

this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

han x reader | part five of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy & child-birth

↬ notes; jisung lil qt jajajaja i cant i love him

u guys had been engaged for a few months n u two found out early on when u missed ur period

han was actually the one who figured it out n he dropped so many hints that u were pregnant 

he ends up flat out telling u that ur pregnant

“okay, you’re pregnant. it’s obvious!! how can you not tell!!”

sure enough the test confirmed what jisung was thinking the whole time

he’s very attentive nd hes so attached to u

u assure him ur okay to go to the bathroom alone

or go out for work

or cook dinner by yourself

he thinks anything is not safe for you to do

i feel like han is the really worried caring person, constantly thinking of the worst things that could happen n hes so buried by the worrying

his day probably goes - wake up, eat breakfast with u, practice, come back for lunch, go back and finish up practice, cuddle with u, (sometimes make dinner), eat dinner, do whatever chores need to still be finished, (write lyrics when he can), get ready for bed with u, wait until u fall asleep, talk to the baby for about half an hour, then finally he will sleep (if he isn’t up working extra)

hes worn out :(

everybody is rly worried about him n he just tells them hes fine

han rants to u about the boys talking to him asking him about it and u cant really do much except sit there in silence and nod

one day its all just too much for him

he just bursts into tears

“am i doing this right?” 🥺

u assure him he’s doing everything well but he needs to slow down

“baby, you need to take some time for yourself. you don’t need to worry about me, i’m fine. you are not, you need to relax okay?”

“can we just lay down?” “of course we can.” :(

from now on he decides to just come back for dinner like he used to, instead just staying home on bad days for u

he likes to lay his head in ur lap n watch a movie or read a book or just sleep

he will do anything for u, whether it be making u disgusting combos of food or dealing with ur crying over sad movies

mmm he loooovveesss skinship now that u r pregnant

backhugs always

just imagine him with his hands encased around the lower part of ur bump, his head and hair brushing against ur neck and chin with his chin pressed against ur shoulder

he’ll talk to u sweet af

he mentions to u a lot how he wants to marry u already

u guys just delayed the wedding for awhile since u would be uncomfortable in a dress and heels + u would be busy with ur baby after

he sits around a lot doing things just to be around u but to be relaxed while doing so

lots of kisses on ur bump because its even better than ur cheeks and lips or forehead or hand

he does the whooollee nursery by himself

he likes to lay on the soft carpet in there

he’ll sometimes write lyrics in there

maybe make music n shit

he likes it when u sit in the chair thats there for when u wanna sit and feed or just sit there n rock so u can put them to sleep

unlike everyone else yall figure out the gender before the birth

a rly cute cake that’s got blue n pink marbled fondant to cover it

its hot as hell n jisung is just clinging to u while making rounds with u around the backyard

its super cute trust me

u guys have the iconic game where u guess the circumference of ur bump 😌

guess who guesses right !!

nobody other than yang jeongin king of measuring 😍

its time for u guys to cut the cake n u two are actually nervous for this part

u guys have like forty people at ur house just watching u and waiting for the cake to be cut

u cut into it n theres the blue cake that was underneath the frosting n fondant

“we’re having a boy!”

group huggg

u guys are actually great at hiding the pregnancy and were going to release pictures from the duration of it after ur baby was born

hes hoo vv ee rr in gg the last few weeks

u have this cute sized bump, it’s just absolutely adorable

its cute tho u have this lil waddle n he’ll help u with everything u need 🥺

his clothes are all u need

now u two also had to get induced like changbin and his now wife

hes just singin n hummin while he holds ur hands n lets u rest against him

he’ll get in his final words to his little boy before he’s here

jisung is so sure ur gonna break his hands while hes ur #1 fan in the delivery room but then he hears the cries and ur grip loosens around his hands

ur baby boy is just laying on ur chest before jisung is like

“he’s so cute.”

and ur just sniffling and jisung is like aww thats cute

then u look at him so sadly

“but i hurt ur hands” :(

he looks at u like 0_0 & just laughs

he gives his red hands a good look, they DO hurt but he doesnt rly care cause its already going away

“yea well i bet pushing this squishy baby out hurt more!!”

u nod and laugh, knowing hes right

the room is silent while u cuddle with ur brand new baby boy

“u think he’s gonna be a rap star just like me?”

“han, shut up.”

big pout :(

“fine, but i’m sure he’s gonna be a free style genius just like me.”

tons of pics and he’s blowing up everyones phones with pictures of ur little boy in his cot

+ bonus , jisung’s favorite part about your pregnancy was how you had grown so kind

he swore u were almost like candy rotting a tooth as u spoke to him

sure u had those days where u were irritated and upset

but u could be talked down in an instant with jisungs’ touch or voice, it somehow always worked to soothe u

he remembered this one time u were upset for whatever reason, but hey u were the pregnant one!!

u pouted and had ur brows furrowed nearly half the hour u were sitting on the sofa while jisung was working with papers spread on the coffee table

he let u come and sit next to him, soon letting u lay ur head down in his lap

his hand would brush against your bump, immediately seeing your face soften and a smile on your lips

there was the y/n he remembered waking up this morning

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[i8jisoo]

Heyaa since you're accepting requests can I request for hyunjin with infertile reader? Ty 🥺

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ hyunjin with infertile s/o

hyunjin x reader | imagine

↬ genre; angst at first, fluff ending

↬ warnings; cursing, vomit, blood, mentions of miscarriage, and mentions of cheating

↬ notes; this my first request for skz so woo!! def check out my masterlist in my bio && request me guys!! (atz, skz, got7 as of now but soon more later) anyways i hope u like this!!

hyunjin couldn’t believe it, after preparing a nursery, filled with tiny blankets, filled with stuffies and pacifiers, with a chair in the corner for feeding, he was packing it all up. the crib was still in the box due to the fact you both were way to lazy to do it and there were the three cans of paint in the corner, a specific shade of soft yellow, made to brighten up the walls that were still a dull grey.

the pregnancy was hard, of course it was. you had these pounding headaches, horrible morning sickness that would keep you in the bathroom for hours, and your lower back killed you despite not even being far along. you slept less and were glued to the cold floor of your bathroom most times, but hyunjin would be behind you with a glass of water and a hair tie — sometimes bringing in a pillow or blanket just in case.

his hands would rub gently against your back as he had pulled your hair into a lazy bun or lazy ponytail, urging you to come into his arms so you didn’t have your back hunched over the toilet bowl.

“princess, come here. alright?” he’d whisper, his voice thick with sleep - despite having a night well rested unlike you who wriggled in the sheets trying to find a comfortable spot.

his heart felt heavy, the day he came back home and you were in an immense amount of pain, only to be surprised by blood that thickly coated your hands and thighs. your cries were even worse, hyunjin deciding to hold you close and pray. whoever was listening to him, he hoped they would answer him, so reluctantly he stripped you down and changed your clothes. he held a towel with a shaky hand, his hands slipping around the backs of your thighs and carrying you. 

your worst nightmare was spoken to you both by a doctor, her face expressionless and her words cold. “you have suffered a miscarriage, we can follow up with natural expelling, which is will take days and might cause infection, or we could go ahead with the medication to help with the process.” 

“i just wanna go home, please?” you asked, getting a nod and hyunjin would have his heart break, knowing that you two weren’t going back home with a baby. he smiled warmly, though it hurt to look at you, he let out a breath and let you slip into the spare clothes he had for you all while preparing to head back into your empty house. 

hyunjin couldn’t bare to be in your shared bedroom, it was suffocating, so instead of taking his normal side on the left, he cuddled up to the sofa with a blanket and throw pillow to accommodate him. soft sobs left his lips while tears escaped from his eyes and he could only imagine that this should’ve been him sleeping on the couch, waiting for the baby to cry as they needed a change or feeding, not where the nursery was empty and slowly losing life.

he remembered the night of where you two couldn’t stand each-other anymore, he was so angry— there was obviously something that he held above you.

you two often were in bed together, trying to recreate the most boring, and basic sex you had ever had. it was like a pattern, almost every night you two would attempt the same dance, you both so desperately wanted a baby - everytime hyunjin would see the same negative or one line on the screen of the pregnancy test. hyunjin would have his hands lingered against the naked skin that was your stomach, slowly letting his finger creep to the soft band of your bikini cut underwear. it was repetitive, tiring, and had you both exhausted emotionally when you would get your hopes up. your body turned, hyunjin’s touch leaving your stomach, hearing his sigh from beside you.

“why did you move?” hyunjin questioned, “i know you aren’t sleeping.” you huffed, wishing he’d just leave it alone. “not tonight.” you mumbled, letting yourself move to get comfortable.

“fine.” hyunjin glared which you could feel as if he was drilling holes into the back of your head, feeling him pull his pillow out and move away from you. “what are you doing?” you called out, starting to get up and follow him to the living room which he was heading to. 

you cannot believe this.

you watch him turn around as he throws the pillow down and groans, seeing you have followed him which he was trying to avoid.

“i hate you. i hate you, how— how could you? how could you not realize it? this was all your fault! i—i’m never gonna get my dream, right? all because of you.“ there you now stood in front of him, realizing exactly what hyunjin thought of you now. he thought this was your fault, your fault that you lost your baby together— you killed your own child. he looked at you, a glare with so much hate, a glare that he’d never gave you. something that told you that he wouldn’t forgive you.

“stop. this— not my fault. how— to even think that i would be able to predict something like this would happen, nor would i want something like this to happen. how do you think i felt? how do you think i felt when i was in pain— when i knew our baby was dying! do you fucking know?” your voice was loud, broken and wavering but you were not going to let hyunjin tear you down like this. not when he had no reason to. “you don’t think i want a baby as much as you?” your voice small and fighting back tears.

“no, i don’t think you do.” hyunjin says, taking his spot on the couch and watching your figure head back to your shared room. he let out a loud sigh before letting his head hit the pillow, his eyes fluttering shut.

you reluctantly decided to go to the doctors, by yourself. you wanted answers, answers that you haven’t gotten in months. you had seven months to yourself, constant sex, feeling miserable, and no baby. 

“it’s premature ovarian failure, it seems like your first pregnancy was always going to fail. it was purely luck, but it seems that children won’t be in your future. there are however other options rather than carrying yourself, such as adoption or surrogacy.” 

they sent you home with a paper, along with three brochures that could aid you in your two options, as-well as help aid you in informing you on infertility. 

meanwhile, hyunjin decided going out would be best. a few drinks, that would help, yeah. he met a few gorgeous woman, probably fertile as ever. maybe they could mother his children, it crossed his mind - being unfaithful, just to see if they could make his dream. he let her buy him a drink, but decided to dip out with the lame excuse he needed to use the bathroom, immediately pushing through people and exiting the bar. 

that was how you two were lead to your family, hyunjin coming home to you asleep on the couch, seeing the adoption brochure, as well as the papers consisting of information about your infertility. he felt the inside of him crumble, instead picking up the brochure of adoption. he saw the children, as well as the newborns - the small feet and hands he always wanted to see. 

his hands shook you awake, a smile plastered on his face and the brochure in hand. “wake up!!” he shouted, his voice happy and excited. “this is gonna be ours.” he says, pointing to the picture of a couple - a family with a child. your eyes were drooped with tiredness. you nodded, hyunjin letting you lay your head in his lap, just as he did before even when you weren’t pregnant - but when all he wanted to do was love on you. 

you two were able to bring out the crib again, resuming painting the walls, able to put the pacifiers and small clothes inside. it was much easier, the two of you often finding yourselves sitting inside and messing around while you two would some days have child services visit your house, checking on your well-being. it was hard, these unplanned visits surprising you both, finally getting a visit that a mother thought you two were right for her prospective birth.

you had gotten the call that she had gone into labor, which she was expecting you two very soon and couldn’t wait for the finalization of this. 

so when you two were able to go down to the nursery, the nurses letting you scoop up your child, in-taking the past hardships you both had went through - this was perfect, it was so worth it. “there’s our baby, yeah? our cute little baby.” though they didn’t look like you two, their skin a shade different and poutier lips - a bald head despite having a father who was a male rapunzel, this was destiny. this was your baby.

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒  ⇉  not true

felix x idol!reader | imagine

↬ genre; pure angst

↬ warnings; talk of alcohol, suicide, and depression

↬ notes; horribly written but i’ll keep it sorry in advance that i didn’t put any warnings at first i’m just skimming these

felix watched before his eyes, your last performance. he was your friend, maybe even more than that he hoped you knew that, he watched you sing. it was all you ever knew, what you loved to do. felix understood that some idols struggled through these patches, some idols gradually developed anxiety or depression due to the pressure put on them. god, you slipped through the cracks. everybody was thinking the same thing, “what did we do to miss this? how could we have missed this?”

felix woke up in the morning, he was doing well. he had gotten back a little bit late from the studio the night before, his legs a little sore and a little tired but other than that he was doing great. felix had actually been learning one of your choreography as he was assigned for a solo stage soon. you were the one to teach it to him, you had taught him step by step and it was gorgeous. the choreography was perfect and suited his style perfectly as it did you.

you were a bubbly person, sure sometimes you stared off blankly and didn’t always hear others when talking, but nobody paid much attention to those little details. you were an idol, you were bound to get bored of talking or listening, bored of practicing so it didn’t mean much. god, he wished he could have gone back to weekly idol with you and talked to you more thoroughly after. he wished he could have asked you how you were feeling or if you wanted to go out sometime.

your mind was poisoned, your heart was tainted, and your eyes were so full but empty. the first sign that something was wrong was when you started becoming a bit more absent as the anxiety started, it was almost crippling. you managed to head out to fan signings and performances still, making what mattered the most to you, your fans, happy.

your last album, it was so heartbreaking. it was vile to even hear the first note of the song, it was hard. your album soon made sense when news had broke. your performance made sense, your eyes were helpless. your eyes, they were begging and nobody noticed. your hands slightly trembled against the microphone and its’ stand, going to wipe against the bottom of your dress that fit you perfectly. you looked perfect, or so they thought.

that was when he was called, jeongin was on the phone, calling about being outside of his door. he sounded nervous, he sounded afraid. the door was knocked on, jeongin there with his cellphone and immediately wrapped his arms around felix. felix was confused but felt his heart warm at the action, his arms were snug around him and jeongin coddled him like a baby. “i can’t believe she’s gone, lix.” jeongin murmured, felix pulling apart from him. his brows were furrowed and he looked the younger one in the eyes, “what? who?” he asked, starting to grow anxious.

“y/n, she just— they said they found her in her house. lix, i don’t understand. sh-she was fine? she wasn’t sick and she wasn’t sad, how could she just— just leave us? her friends?” jeongin asked, not even seeing felix sitting on the ground. some part of felix died when he heard those words, a part of him shriveled up and died. a part of him was taken.

“no, that’s— that’s not true. she was fine, she was happy. she was okay jeongin. no, she’s alive okay? no. she’s fine. that’s not true! she’s okay, okay? she’s happy and alive.” felix insisted, his voice frail and letting tears fall freely while he stuttered on.

felix was offered support from his band members who knew he needed it, practically mothering him. they brought him food, sometimes cooked for him, helped him with laundry and washing dishes, sometimes— just sometimes— they had to help him find the will to wake up in the morning. when they did, he was silent. he couldn’t eat or drink, all he could do was concentrate on getting through the day.

he was last spotted at the funeral, spending time afterwards and promising you that he would go out every few weeks to come eat with you or write lyrics with you. felix was a mess, it wasn’t the kind of mess that some could fix with alcohol or drugs, no amount of therapy, no band-aids or creams could heal. this was something that they weren’t sure would ever heal. the way he thought he was healing was by continuing doing things with you included, he felt like you were there. he swore he could smell your rose perfume, he swore that he could hear your voice.

felix never came to terms with your death, he was convinced you were still there. he found himself often calling you and then getting upset when you didn’t pick up, even after your phone was disabled and sent him to the invalid automated message. of course he would apologize to you though for getting upset, he wanted you two to be happy together.

you had died awhile before your death occurred, you had died. it sent chills down your spine when you realized you were ready, when you could stare at someone and not care if you didn’t get to look at that. unfortunately felix lee was the thing that held you back from death. his big smile, his perfect hair, and his jokes. he never failed to make you feel a bit alive, though when you became numb. when you were at wits end, when you just couldn’t continue. you wanted to put it in to words, into song. you loved music, you loved singing. your fans meant the world to you, each album and single were from your heart. your last album was a drastic change, it was dark, it was twisted, you loved it. it truly killed you to perform it in person, you meant to finish every promotional performance, but you couldn’t. every scream, every tear, every person you looked at, you couldn’t handle it.

a video had been released, capturing your final moments. you sat in the bathtub, unknowingly intoxicated and your hair was wet, the video most likely cropped to keep everybody from seeing your naked body since it seemed to felix that the view traveled farther. the bathtub was on, your camera on. “today is, july eighteenth. i got home right now, it’s four in the morning. made a new song.” the video went on with incoherent mumbling, your hands fumbling with the camera. the singing started, it was delicate. the water softly running behind it, nothing else but the sound of running water. you hummed during part of the song before continuing onto the final part, your voice nearly inaudible, down to a whisper. the video played, only a few more seconds left on the video before it slowly faded to black. there it was, the same photo they had used for your funeral. your name and age, beloved idol. there was the silence, there was the ugly truth. the truth that sometimes the things that you love the most destroy you, things you love can kill you, things you love can take you over. you told your truth, start to finish. you just had to make felix lee, the one who was heartbroken, the one who was shattered, you had to make him believe the truth. he’d believe it soon, he’d believe you were better off. he’d know it’s true.

the words rang forever it seemed like, it’s not true, it’s not true. it’s not true if you say it isn’t. but eventually, it’s not true until it is.

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ walking buddy

yang jeongin x reader | imagine

↬ summary; yang jeongin is not your walking buddy anymore, you could find the way on your own — he realizes that when he comes back.

↬ warnings; cursing, angst, & brief talk of bullying

↬ notes; sry i’m missing not posting about skz lololol i thought of this rly quickly so i did it :(( idek where i thought of angst out of no where but i did it!! super short but.. oh well

jeongin left to pursue his career at a fairly young age, he left his friends and family to achieve his dreams. if only he knew his dream was right where he started, you. you were his dream, you were everything he ever wanted.

he found himself back to the housing, the familiar neighborhood and the same concrete path that would trail all the way up to your high school that was near the college you two were supposed to attend together. the air was crisp and cold, his body bundled in a puffy jacket and a scarf wrapped around his neck and his frost-bitten hands tucked into his pockets. leaves crunched behind him, his body turning. 

there you were, books in hand and your backpack on your back. he sighed in relief, “there you are!” he smiled, walking towards you while you took a few steps back.

“what are you doing here?” you spat, your hand tugging on the lock to the white picket gate. 

the swings weren’t there anymore, the ones he used to let you push him on.

“i wanted to see you.” he murmured, easily opening the gate for you like how he used to when you both snuck out of the house. “well, you haven’t wanted to for the past two years. so, you can go back to what you were doing.” 

you were always difficult, stubborn as a horse and sharp tongued. you had grown up, growing into your school uniform that fit you properly and your hair fixed up and your face maturing to fit your age. 

you weren’t baby faced anymore, you didn’t seem as childish and you didn’t seem to be the same person that would help him out. 

you were the one who held is hand, the same person who helped him out when he was bullied. you were there to wipe his face off, you yelled at him to stop crying, going back the next day to school to confront them. you got suspended that week. 

you were the same person who took him to the school’s winter dance, only to sit at a table in the corner and eat snacks and sip on spiked fruit punch. he liked that day, he liked to sit and talk. 

he left for auditions, not returning back and leaving you to wonder when he’d return. his parents ate dinner with you, they still hosted sleep-overs with you and your family to reminisce on times when their son wasn’t there. his brothers were great friends, of course when they weren’t at school and busy with their own lives. 

his hands pull out a wallet, made of duct-tape and holding very few things in the wallet. there’s a crumpled slip of paper, you looked at the paper which was from only four years ago. he had a bright smile, arm enveloped around you and his hair was messy. there you two were, hanging around in his bedroom with a bowl of popcorn and pajamas on.

“why — why are you showing me this?” you ask, jeongin just shaking his head and sighing. “you — that’s what i miss. they — my best friend. they are what i’m showing you.” he explained, stumbling over his words with the sentence caught in his throat. your hand tugged on the photo, he let it slip into your grip, the photo dropping and landing on the concrete in front of his feet. 

“you should go back to your sparkly outfits, i have homework.” you mumbled, holding up your book and letting the gate open and close behind you.

“yeah, you should — do your homework. i’ll be home.” he spoke softly, the words falling on deaf ears and the sounds of rustling leaves and the gusts of wind. 

he picks up the picture, smiling at it and slipping it back into his tacky little duct-tape wallet. 

his eyes stung with tears, his throat tightening as he watched you walk up the steps to your house and close the door, leaving him out in the cold.

you knew the way to your house, you knew these paths back and forth. you most certainly didn’t need him to walk with you from and back anymore, yang jeongin did not need to hold your hand or an umbrella for you anymore. 

he didn’t need to bring a spare coat or pack you an extra toothbrush because you would forget things like that. he didn’t need to even bring lunch for you, he always packed you just a peanut butter and jelly and a yogurt drink. he didn’t know how to cook. 

he didn’t get to do any of these things anymore and that was his fault, maybe if he had wrote a final note, maybe he could’ve just walked on the same path — instead he was walking the other direction.

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.