Venom: Ask her!
Venom: And why not?!
Y/n: Because dipshit she’s with vision
Venom: We are better than the robot!
Wanda: Y/n? Are you okay?
Y/n: Yeah yeah I’m okay just feeling a little off
Wanda: Awe honey come on let’s go lay down
Venom: Yes! She’s ours!
Y/n holding her head: Stop
Wanda: Are you sure you’re okay?
Y/n: I just have a migraine that’s threatening to rip my head apart
Wanda: Well let’s get a cold cloth on you and some medicine
Y/n: Thanks Wanda I appreciate it
Vision: Wanda don’t we have a date in 20 minutes?
Wanda: Oh yeah, sorry Vis but we can reschedule!
Vision dejected: Yes yes of course
Venom: Yeah suck it toaster! We are better and hotter than you!
*Y/N Gets a dog*
Natasha: It's not even that cute
Y/N: Are you jealous?
Natasha: Jealous? Ha!
Natasha: Listen to me, attention thief-
Natasha, whispering: Y/N, please, no one knows we're dating.
Clint, walking by: Yes, we do.
I've been saying this for years but I've finally found the funniest way to say it, in the MCU Tony Stark isn't so much Peter Parker's father figure as he is his deadbeat dad figure. Like Tony shows up once a year to take Peter to a baseball game kinda vibe. Tony in homecoming is like hey kid I know I haven't seen or spoken to you in months but I bought you something and that's basically the same as emotional support. Tony taking Peter to Germany in civil war is like when your deadbeat dad tells your mom you're having father-son time but he's really just taking you to his guys' poker night and trying to get you to cheat for him. When Tony says you're nothing without the suit then you shouldn't have it, it's like when your dad says if you're not going to follow my rules in my house you can leave, I put a roof over our heads what else could you possibly want from me. Tony mourning Peter after infinity war and calling him his kid is like when your dad only wants to hang out with you after he's lost custody. Like well and truly deadbeat behavior no wonder the fanon is like that
Really enjoyed this recent commission of slut boy barnes ❤️🔥
(Finished basic colour, limes. See pinned post for commission prices.)
Just a friendly reminder that Doctor Octopus formed the original Sinister Six so they could split up and fight Spider-Man in one on one battles.
Also his detailed scheme to force Spider-Man to fight is just to take hostages. He took Daily Bugle receptionist and Peter's girlfriend at the time, Betty Brant. He also kidnapped Aunt May by accident.
Clint: Where do you think you'll end up, hell or heaven?
Natasha: I hope hell. It's where all the gay people are.
Y/N: It's lit.
Y/N: Pun intended.
Clint: Y'all are weird.
"Jesus, Doll, you sure know how to keep me happy dontcha?" Bucky whined as Y/N was in between his legs and bobbing his head back and forth slowly as the soldier ran his fingers through his hair. He felt a sense of euphoria as Y/N made such loud slurping sounds and Bucky tried not to hold his head in place and fuck his mouth with everything he had. Even if that's what they both wanted to happen.
Y/N hummed around Bucky's length as his own neglected hard on was straining in his pants, but he would wait for what he really wanted, then he'd free his aching hard on. He shivered as Bucky played with his hair so softly before grabbing it firmly in his hands and tugged. The younger male gasped around the appendage in his mouth as Bucky chuckled. "You like that don't you, Doll? Like your Sergeant being rough with your pretty hair."
Y/N looks up at him and hopes he looks desperate and slutty enough for the soldier to understand what he wanted. Bucky does as he pulls off him. "You want your Sarge's big cock inside your tight ass dontcha Doll?"
"Yes, please, Sergeant Barnes. I need you."
"Turn around, Y/N."
Wanda comes down the stairs…
Wanda: ready for the kids’ magic show?
Y/N: well you’re performing a magic trick right now. You look ravishing.
Wanda: got to look good for when the boys saw me in half.
Y/N: then you’re outfit would be half off.
Wanda: you take the other half off tonight, detka (winks)
i like to think steve's beard (facial hair) was not intentionally grown out in an attempt to conceal his identity, but rather the result of steve having his bella swan depression era when bucky goes into cryo in wakanda
steve decides to keep it later on when, after the two have finally confessed their feelings, a blushing bucky admits that the beard really does it for him
Y/n walking in looking sickly
Tony: Kid what the hell happened?!
Y/n: I went for a walk
Nat: A walk?! You look half dead
Y/n: yeah well my lovely parasite was hungry and we walked past some homeless guys and the rest is history
Venom: They were delicious! A little off smelling but not bad!
Y/n: For the love of god shut the hell up for once in your miserable existence!
Venom:…Are you mad at me?
Y/n: I just want you to stop shouting
Venom: Okay only until you’re happy again
Y/n: Thank you
Tony: What’s happening?
Nat: They’re having a moment
Y/n: I’m gonna lie down in my room, is Wanda around?
Nat: She’s waiting for you in your room
Y/n: Okay cool
Venom: Are we seeing Wanda?! I love Wanda!
Y/n: Well the quiet didn’t last long
Venom: Let’s go! *drags your body towards your room*
Y/N, looking at Wanda: That's not my jacket?
Wanda: it was your jacket, now it's MINE
Wanda: ... And stop looking at my ass asshole...
Yelena: It’s kinda funny how I fucking hate The Muppets Movie.
Y/N: I liked it.
Yelena: But the first song, the Kermit one’s a fucking banger.
Yelena: Only part of the movie I like.
Yelena: Also reminds me how me and Natasha made an elaborate dictatorship with a Kermit plushie and when it fell at a huge cost of stuffed life we crucified him using lego and hung him on the fan.
Y/N: Wh-? What?
Yelena: You heard me. Read it again if you don’t understand.