#me in 2021 and beyond: there is no greater joy in life than to be a doctor strange fan and especially a clea strange fan

[navree]

you know, i think i've survived being a batman/batfam fan not because of elseworlds stuff like wayne family adventures or even fanworks (although the fanworks are amazing) but also because i'm simultaneously a big doctor strange fan and so when dc fucks me over yet again by making bruce be an asshole to his family without it ever leading to meaningful change or putting jason through some fresh hell for the thousandth time or trying to get me to care about tim drake when he's the most boring boy on the planet, i just go and read the current doctor strange run, because even if no one else got me, i know jed mackay got me, because he's never ever let me down and gave me clea back which i've been clamoring for since 2018

[crimsonophelia]

hi basil !! can i request for an imagine with zhongli and an adeptus reader? the reader has been in love w him since the archon war but never told him bc they were scared, and when rex lapis “dies” they’re absolutely crushed. but when they see a certain funeral consultant preparing his funeral, they tell him about their friendship w rex lapis and how they regret never telling him how they felt. thank you!

featuring: zhongli x gn!reader

warnings: angst, a little suggestiveness, some god complex stuff if you squint hard enough, typos lol

published: may 14, 2021

form: imagine

a/n: hi anon! thank you for the request~ i’m assuming reader recognizes zhongli in his mortal form and confesses in that way! in canon, it’s kind of dubious whether or not zhongli explicitly told the adepti that he actually isn’t dead, but i’m going to take some creative liberties and assume that he tells some of his adepti friends that he’s alive in person, like so~

Time slowed to a halt, as the body of the magnificent dragon, Rex Lapis, plummeted to the earth from the heavens, like a meteor summoned by Celestia. You felt like it was all a cruel, eldritch dream that the Archons had cursed you with, frozen among the crowd of onlookers, as the body tumbled, tumbled, and fell in a lump at the alter. Not a single sound emerged from the crowd, as they all stared in horror.

To them, their deity, their Archon who had pulled Liyue from the depths of the abyss and ascended it to wealth and prosperity, had come crashing down to earth in front of their eyes. But to you... Rex Lapis was your world. It was not Liyue that he saved from the grasp of darkness, but rather, you, you were the one he rescued. It was you to whom Rex Lapis had shown more compassion than you had ever thought possible coming from any living being—warm hands grasping your cold limbs, pulling you up, up, and up, into the light of day, giving you a purpose. A reason to live.

The body lied there, as Lady Ningguang acted fast, trying to ease the onlookers, her own horror still painted visibly upon her usually cold and composed countenance. The corpse of your god still retained some semblance of life, you thought, scales still glimmering with a slight sheen, mane fluttering in the wind of commotion, almost as if he were glowing with vibrant life not a few moments ago.

Please. Rex Lapis. Please don’t leave me. I have so much left to tell you. 

*****

“Master!”, you called. “Wait for me!”

You ran to catch up with archon, who had begun his daily routine of assessing the growth of his blossom trees. Tianheng Shan was a favorite location of Rex Lapis, particularly in the springtime when all the flowers on the treas began to bloom, and the glowing flowers that sprouted from the ground took root and broke up from beneath the soil.

Rex Lapis, hands locked behind his back, looked back at you, as you joined him at his side.

“Hello there, [y/n]. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The archon really did behave like an old-spirited mortal, you thought. He had the mannerisms and idiosyncrasies down to a tee, certainly the polar opposite of the likes of Barbatos.

“I was just about to view the blossoms as well! They should be in season within a week or two”, you responded innocently. This certainly wasn’t an opportunity purely to spend time alone with Rex Lapis. You would never be so silly.

The both of you strolled along the banks of the river, eventually reaching an opening where tens, even hundreds, of pink-blossomed trees wove their way about the bottoms of the cavernous cliffs, some delicate petals already beginning to fall, sprinkling upon the river like memories across the stream of time.

Rex Lapis proceeded past you, craning his neck upwards to get a closer look at the blossoms. As he did so, the hood of his robe fell back down onto his shoulders, revealing long, silky locks of earthy amber resting upon shoulders as hardened as Cor Lapis.

“Quite lovely, aren’t they?”, he mused, almost absentmindedly. “These yinghua are often mistaken for taohua—yinghua do not produce fruit, and their blossoming period is much shorter.” For some reason, you thought, the archon’s gaze seemed to stray elsewhere, somewhere beyond the mass of trees.

“That is why the yinghua is renowned for its beauty. Its life is fleeting, yet so utterly captivating.”

Now, it was all gone. All that was left was a husk—a shell of the god you loved and devoted every ounce of your existence to. A mere gnarled tree that once possessed a beauty that transcended seasons.

*****

You entered the foyer of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, hearing the bell jingle solemnly as the door closed behind you. The place seemed to be rather empty, with nobody manning the front desk. Assorted coffins and various floral wreaths adorned the rooms of the parlor, a rather gauche little showroom of death. The taste and aesthetics reflected quite well the nature of the parlor’s director.

You treaded through the silent shop, wood creaking beneath your feet. The building must be quite old, you supposed.

“Hello?”, you called out. “Is anybody here?”

Before you could take another step, you heard a man’s voice coming from a back room, tucked away behind the main desk and obscured by a curtain.

“Just a minute, please. I will be with you shortly”, the voice called back.

After some further rustling emitting from what you guessed was the storage room, a man stepped out from behind the curtain, slightly ducking below the doorframe due to his rather imposing height.

Dressed in sharp formalwear, hair tied neatly behind his head in a long ponytail, he stepped forward from behind the desk. You noticed a geo vision dangling from the belt at his waist. How familiar, you thought. Something about him tugged at a string deep inside you, but for the life you, you couldn’t put a finger upon it.

“Greetings, how may I be of service to you?”, the man queried, amber eyes penetrating into you. There it was again. Maybe it was his voice, or his gaze, or perhaps just the way he carried himself, that felt so awfully familiar. His words seemed so... warm, even. Like some fond old memory that is slipping off the precipices of your brain. I must be going mad, you thought. One thousand years and still fawning over every handsome man I see.

Clearing your throat, you replied, “Yes, I am here on behalf of Lady Ningguang and the Qixing. We are looking for a supply of flowers to send off Rex Lapis at his funeral next week.” The man eyed you, curiously. “I was wondering if perhaps you could suggest a suitable flower wreath, preferably something in-season.”

Without a response, your odd companion began to walk towards an adjacent room attached to the lobby, hands crossed behind his back, quite like an old man, although he looked to be in his early thirties, at most. Assuming you were to follow, you stepped into a side room filled with vibrant flower wreaths of all sizes and colors.

The man begun to the scan the selection closely, as you stood to the side and watched him work. Oddly enough, the silence in the room wasn’t awkward, but was even quite comforting, in the same way a blanket warms a body.

Settling upon a modest, pink-flowered wreath of bouquets, he turned to you, indicating that he has decided upon a suggestion. He turned to you, those same eyes once again boring into you. Those were not the eyes of a young man, but something much, much more ancient, and for a moment, you stood frozen, frightened.

“Might I suggest the lovely yinghua? They are a personal favorite.”

White. White was all you saw for seconds, and when you opened your eyes, everything looked crisper, like a veil had been lifted. The world felt clearer, your thoughts came at you with greater clarity, but above all, it was no longer the funeral parlor manager that stood in front of you.

It was him. Rex Lapis.

The room started to twist and warp again, but this time not because of the spell of fog that the archon had cast to maintain your ignorance, but rather because of the salty tears clouding your vision, and the pressure of pure relief, joy, and utter agony that brought you collapsing to your knees, right then and there.

You couldn’t believe it. What about the body? Was that a mere fabrication ? Or was this vision before you an illusion, an echo of the past that had somehow manifested itself in front of you? Why would Rex Lapis do this to you, make you endure such pain? If he knew how much you loved him, how much gratitude you felt for him, how much you didn’t want to move on without him—

“Oh Archons, [y/n], please, I’m so, so sorry—”, he uttered. You felt a soft pressure surrounding you, as you became vaguely aware that the man you loved was now embracing you, the both of you huddled on the floor. “Please forgive me, I hate myself for it but I had to do it, and for the pain I have caused you, I’d much rather die, myself. ”

You could barely understand his words over the sound of your own weeping, forgoing all manners and letting your tears run free. You felt your master tighten his arms around your middle, as if scared to let you go, after already sacrificing you once.

You mustered up the strength to look up at him, seeing that now the dragon’s eyes themselves had become watery with emotion, something you had never seen in the archon before. The regret you felt was threatening to burst from your throat, a lump preventing you from being civil, or talking like a proper adeptus, or confessing your feelings to the man who you owed your life to. No more. No more weakness that plagued your heart for centuries. You may never have this opportunity again.

“[y/n], I beg of you, please forg-“

You pulled your savior’s face towards you, and without hesitation, placed your lips upon his. Too long, had this moment been forgone, and the both of you knew it, as the archon gradually deepened the kiss, intertwining his hands through your hair. This was life. The clarity of it all, the energy surging into you from the points where your skin touched, the infinity of your lips melding against his. This is the god you worshipped and would lay your life down for. Without him, there is nothing.

His lips, initially hesitant, grew more confident, more desperate as they clung onto yours. His fingers were soft as they traced the back of your neck, as if trying to memorize each one of your vertebrae. A feral yearning, something only a dragon was capable of, was unhinging behind Rex Lapis’ ministrations, as you proudly latched yourself deeper into him. The silence of the parlor was now filled with heavy pants and the rustling of fabric, as the two of you clung onto each other, one not wanting to depart before the other.

As you felt the breath in your lungs dwindling, having given all of your life and energy to Rex Lapis’ mortal body, you pulled yourself off of him. Streaks of wetness along his cheeks glinted in the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows. His hair had become undone in the minutes where he had been attached to you, and his face showed something of a quenched desperation. He was mortal, and he was perfect.

“Promise me. Promise me, that you will stay by my side forever.”

a/n: ohoho i hope you like it anon~ this is a little bit spicier than i usually write but tbh i kinda vibe w it

[lydia-yougowith-stiles]

My Top Ships of 2020

It’s FINALLY here!! The list of my top ships of 2020. What a year it was and I can’t believe it’s already January 8th as I’m writing this. Just like I mentioned with my 2020 TV Wrap Up, a lot of these ships helped me escape during 2020. I can’t wait to see where they’re headed for 2021. I have also started watching a few things in December, but I will be saving those ships for my 2021 list. (You’ll notice I have already expanded this list from last year.) Last year, I debated about including an Honorable Mentions sections. This year I will be including it because I wanted to still talk about these ships, but found it hard to rank them with the others. Without further ado here we go!  

Oh! One last thing. Compared to previous years Bellarke has not made it on this list. J. Roth did us dirty with this last season of the 100 and I will pretend it didn’t exist. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

~ Anne with an E: Jerry and Diana

These two were SOOO CUTE until Diana started acting rude and left our perfect boy Jerry. Watching this last season back, I grew not to like this couple as much as I did the first time. This most definitely had to do with the fact that I knew the outcome AND I could see Diana using him more earlier. She wanted to experience something different and rebel and Jerry was there. But they were so cute as they walked home together and shared books. I’m also really proud of Anne for sticking by Jerry when she found out the truth about their relationship. (As you probably already know I love Jerry so much and don’t want any harm to come for him, so this was a tough one, but yes I’m still including it.) 

~Umbrella Academy: Klaus and Dave

I started watching Umbrella Academy this year, so I was lucky to not just experience the first season, but also the second. I instantly fell in love with Klaus and Dave and we barely got any scenes with them. (That’s my main reason for making them an honorable mention rather than a permanent spot on this list.) I wish we had more scenes with them in love. We do get some great moments in scene two with a younger Dave, which highlights Klaus’ love for him, but it’s not the same. I really love how much Dave changed Klaus. I would argue they’re my favorite romantic relationship on the show. 

~Walking Dead World Beyond: Hope and Elton

Here’s my classic shipping people together who weren’t technically romantic (but honestly those often make the best and most satisfying ships if the writers open their eyes to the chemistry that is on screen...but I digress). While they technically weren’t “romantic” you could tell that Elton grew to have a crush on Hope as the season went on. There was definitely a lot going on between their characters as Hope ***I’m going to try and avoid a spoiler here*** was one of the last people to see Elton’s mom. I think there’s potential for these two down the road and as there are only 2 seasons slotted for Walking Dead World Beyond, I can only hope this is the path the writers take. 

~Violetta: Angie and Pablo

Okay, so even if you have not heard of the Disney Channel telenovela “Violetta” or seen many of my posts, can you just appreciate the chemistry in the above moment between these two people! For a good amount of season 1 of the show, Angie and Pablo were the couple for me and I was ESTATIC when they finally got together. I anticipated it wouldn’t be for long because of slight spoilers and more intuition, but god were they beautiful together. Friends to lovers to the extreme. Screw Herman! Now as I’m slowing watching season 3, I know these two won’t be OTP, but I can savor in this moment and remember the good times. 

17. Violetta: Violetta and Leon

Two back to back Violetta appreciation posts. This show took up my entire 2020 from awaiting for season 2 (and 3) on Disney Plus, as well as watching the 80 episodes (a piece!). Currently, I’m trying to get back into wanting to watch season 3 (as other shows took precedent). With the amount of Violetta I watched, I couldn’t leave Violetta and Leon off this list. They were the favored ship of the show (and one of the most central). In season 1 it took me a little time to like them together, but by episode 35 I could feel the mutual attraction. I remember the moment of them singing/playing piano together. I knew they’d be endgame. My main complaint is that when these two are a part they are SUPER ANNOYING! Like they (specifically I’m thinking of Leon) say rude things about the other person and I’m like how could you be okay to get back together? Their best moments are definitely in season 2, whether singing to the other person or imagining singing to them. Definitely at the end of the season when they’re in Spain. I still have to watch the end of their love story, so I hope it’s satisfying.

16. High School Musical the Musical the Series: Nini and Ricky 

So I added this ship onto my list long before I knew about any real-life/personal drama that was happening among the cast. I considered taking it off the list, but as I am discussing the fictional characters I decided to leave it. High School Musical the Musical the Series was a very early 2020 watch. I liked the show more than I was expecting and was upset to hear that season 2 wouldn’t include a performance of High School Musical 2. (I mean, Beauty and the Beast...really?) This was one of those extremely rare times where I actually liked a ship that was the main ship. Usually, I favor the other part of the love triangle or the underappreciated part. I was both shocked and happy when Ricky and Nini kissed in the finale and got together. Of course the final episode ended with some hurtles for season 2 (which now I guess there will be even more), but it was good to see them together and happy. 

15. Legacies: Hope and Josie

With all of these shows ending earlier than they should have due to COVID, I feel like I’m going to sound like a broken record when I say I don’t remember a lot of what happened in this last season. (I guess for 2021 I’ll have to take more thorough notes, but then again you can see which ships I like more.) With Hope and Josie, season 2 was a bit of a rough road. I mean, what do you expect when you erase yourself from existence for the greater good, which means that your boyfriend hooks up with your friend/eventual lover? (Yes, I added in that second part.) Josie and Landon felt very awkward in the beginning of this season when they were in “love” and forgot about Hope. (I rarely heard anyone say they liked them together.) It got more awkward when Hope came back in the picture and had to watch them together. Then we had that spill with Josie being evil (which I was surprised they tackled so early on in the show. Feels like a later plot to explore). Due to all these hurtles, there were less opportunities for my OTP of Legacies. The best moment we got was in the above photo when Hope went into Josie’s subconscious and was speaking to Josie as a fictional pig the whole time. We will never forget how the “pig” suggested Hope kiss her awake. Come on Julie! Give us what we want! 

14. Single Parents: Will and Angie

Will and Angie were far down on my Top Ships last year. Another friends to lovers, you could just feel the chemistry between these two and that was strengthened in season 2. (I just loved some couples more this year I guess.) Last year, they couldn’t really act on too much romance between these two because of Poppy and Douglas’ relationship, but as those two had some drama this season, Will and Angie had a greater chance of getting together. We watched moments where the two pretended to be a couple (for the sake of Will’s parents) and eventually Will came to the realization of his feelings for Angie. In a classic season 2 plot device of a sitcom, Angie decided to go with her real-life husband/Graham’s dad at the end of the season. But you could see she also had feelings for Will and they HAVE to act on those next season. I can’t remember if the show got a third season, and I will be crushed if they didn’t. Previously, they’ve been mid-season starts so I feel hopeful.  

13. Emma: Emma and Knightley

The last movie I watched in movie theaters was Emma. While it makes me sad that I haven’t been able to go back since, this film was a great one to hold this memory. As an avid Jane Austen fan (and period drama as you will continue to notice), I LOVED this Emma and Knightley pairing. This couple is one of my favorites of the Austen heroines and heroes and I have many favorite reincarnations from Romola Garai and Johnny Lee Miller to Joanna Sotomura and Brent Bailey in Emma Approved (still so sad those two broke up). So it was very hard to live up to what I’ve watched and liked before. Anya Taylor-Joy and Johnny Flynn did not disappoint and will be one of the combos I think of when I re-visit the novel. I love how we didn’t focus on their crazy age difference and really highlighted on their relationship as family friends and going back a long time. I specifically like the decision to bring in some early nods to Knightley admitting his feelings for Emma and then not doing so because of the presence of Frank Churchill. Just talking about all of this makes me want to re-watch the movie all over again. :) **If you’re a fan of this combo or Emma/Knightley in general that you have to watch this video. It is amazing! 

12. Avatar The Last Airbender: Zuko and Katara

Another binge from 2020. I watched Avatar the Last Airbender in the summer and was amazed by the story-telling and how deep they could get for a kid’s program. Despite, being in MS/HS when the show originally aired, I hadn’t watched it before. So many people had told me to do and then with the help of Netflix, I felt the pull to do so during quarantine. When I headed into the show, I thought Zuko and Katara eventually got together. Mainly, because I know the fandom and love for them is so strong. I instantly felt this too. There were so many great parallels between there characters. (I mean clearly we have the whole water and fire dynamic.) Even when these two weren’t in scenes together I was thinking about how well they’d work together. So needless to say I was disappointed when they didn’t get to be endgame. We did a lot of great moments at the end of season two and definitely with season three. The Last Agni Kai scene will forever give me chills and represent how deep Zutara is. The evidence is all right there. Such a great ship. 

11. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist: Zoey and Max

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist was one of my favorite watches of 2020 and such a feel good show for a moment with a lot of uncertainty. (I highly recommend if you haven’t watched it. Season 2 just started on NBC this week.) For a while I felt very on the fence if I shipped Zoey more with Simon or Max. As you can notice friends to lovers has been a common thread with my posts (although I LOVE a good enemies to lovers) and Max was that 100%. Plus, he’s played by Skylar Astin so what’s not to love. Despite, all of that I felt both of the men in Zoey’s life had potential and I could be happy if she ended up with either one. By episode 6 I was leaning towards Max (if I’m remembering correctly this would be the “When I Wake Up” number with the scooter) and then by episode 8 I was all in! I mean she sang “I’m Yours” to him. (Episode 8 was one of my favorites for the whole season. She did a fantastic job singing and I loved the twist of events. Also, Max being there for her was adorable. The “Pressure” song in the conference room OMG, get me a Max!) The only thing that upset me about their relationship and Max’s character was how sudden his emotions were. It became all or nothing and it felt like too much. He shouldn’t have given Zoey an ultimatum like that. Once he went to work upstairs, I grew to not like this character. Luckily by the last episode I saw some of the old Max again. We’ll see what happens with this new season. 

10. Julie and the Phantoms: Julie and Luke

Julie and the Phantoms: I cannot talk highly enough of this show. It is amazing and everyone needs to be watching it. Of course, it was created by Kenny Ortega so need I say more...but there is so much more to appreciate too. The actors are fantastic and I love the characters they portray! I also can’t stop listening to the music. But this moment is for Julie and Luke, sorry, I should stop promoting the show :) It was very obvious that two members of the band should fall in love and with Julie and Luke both writing their own music and being passionate about their craft it became a no-brainer that they should end up catching feelings for one another. Of course, there’s the major hurtle that he’s a ghost, but we can figure that out in season 2. Luke is obviously the better pick for Julie (Nick who?). They are just so adorable together and I can’t get over that moment when he talks to her at school by her locker and she pretends to talk on her phone. The way they look at each other says it all. (Such great acting!) Then there’s Edge of Great and Luke’s guitar solo. OH! They’re so meant for each other. While no season 2 announcement has been realized yet, there’s no way this show does not get renewed. 

9. The 100: Murphy and Emori

Okay, so I know this sounds hypocritical that I said I won’t think the last season of the 100 exists and here are Murphy and Emori. But in my defense they are the best part of this season and my love for them as a couple really came to a head this season. Murphy had so much character growth and I was fearing for his life almost every episode. Same went for Emori especially after her accident I didn’t feel positive. These two (along with Raven) were the shining beacon in a very disappointing and confusing season. I love how close they are and how strong they make each other. They have been through so much and it was nice to see them so happy (despite everything going on). You just knew they’d always have each other’s backs no matter what. 

8. Violetta: Fran and Diego

I feel like I would do anything for this ship and I have so many more episodes of season 3 to go. (So that’s saying something.) Another Violetta ship, but arguably the best and one that I know is endgame because I grew so obsessed that I started searching for spoilers early on. (That’s how you know it’s bad. Especially when you’re watching YouTube videos without subtitles, so you have no idea what they’re saying, but they look happy and therefore you are happy.) Fran and Diego only got together in the third and finale season of Violetta. Previously, they were a part of different romances (Diego a major one with Violetta), but at the start of this season they are put together in a lot of situations and quickly grow a strong relationship. You can feel the chemistry instantly! They just fit each other so well. Their singing voices together-OMG! While it took FOREVER for their relationship to be public knowledge, I really haven’t had any other problems with them together. (And with 80 episodes it could easily be the case.) A positive of having more than 30 episodes to go: I have more opportunity to fall even more in love with these two. 

7. Sanditon: Esther and Babington

I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH! I watched Sanditon so long ago that my memory could get fuzzy, but one thing that stands out clearly is how great it was watching Esther and Babington get together. When thinking about this show people will probably immediately think of Sidney and Charlotte and while they are great and the central couple of the series, these two have my heart. Esther has SO MUCH character growth and development and Babington is a big influence on that. He helps her to see that she can be so much more than what she currently is doing and gets her away from her brother and that lifestyle. For a bit it was touch and go and I wasn’t sure if the two would be endgame, but luckily they were. It appeared to be a marriage out of friendship/necessity. Babington is fine with loving Esther more and hoping she’ll grow to love him. This quickly changes with a scene where we see the two looking very much in love. While this show only used Jane Austen’s unfinished novel as a stepping stone and became a lot more modern (than most fans liked), I thought it did a nice job with several aspects. The main one being Esther’s character. It is a show that I will definitely be re-watching and will always be upset that it did not get a second season. 

6. Legends of Tomorrow: Ava and Sara

A great ship since Ava was introduced. These two balance each other out so well and are one of the most constant ships on the show. (As the Waverider’s doors continue to be revolving in recent seasons.) Each season we watch their relationship deepen and I truly felt that with this most recent season of Legends. Now this might sound super ironic, because from what I can remember (remember 2020 brain, it’s been a while since watching), Sara was off the Waverider a lot, leaving Ava in charge. Sara was away for so many episodes that I started to question (and do a lot of Google searching) if she was leaving the show. Despite the two being a part, I feel we got to know Ava’s character more. She has definitely grown since we first met her all those seasons ago. Due to this development, I felt this couple deserved this spot on the list. When we got to the end of last season ***SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS*** and it looked like Sara (and actually all the Legends) might die, my heart broke for them. Ava and Sara deserve the world. And with the way the finale ended it’s going to be some time till they get it. Once again, Legends is the best CW Superhero show (I said it) and everyone should be watching it.

5. The Spanish Princess: Mary Tudor and Charlie Brandon 

This ship is so underappreciated and deserves to be talked about more!!! (Another common thread in many of these entries.) I have searched for Tumblr posts and YouTube videos and have only found a few dedicated to this couple. There needs to be more!! As the second season of the Spanish Princess dragged for me a bit, once Mary Tudor and Charlie Brandon got more screen time and a plot-line I was instantly sucked in. They nicely balanced the falling out of love of Katherine and Harry. There should have been more scenes with Mary and Charlie. Right away, you could feel some sort of chemistry, but Mary had to be married to the King of France. Then the King dies and she’s promised to pick a marriage of love for her second marriage. Knowing her brother and expecting that she will be married off again she marries the messenger come to get her from France, Charlie Brandon. Super intrigued by their story I looked up the history of the real Mary and Charlie Brandon and their story matches very closely. They got married despite the King’s rules and had many children together. It seems to be a marriage of love like she wanted. This couple will forever be one of my favorites. 

They are also one of my major reasons for wanting to watch the Tudors. While they completely change the Mary and Charles romance (Firstly by naming her Margaret), at least it was very easy to watch. As Charles Brandon is played by the beautiful Henry Cavill. 

4. The Outpost: Talon and Garret

Speaking of underappreciated ships (and TV shows), I present Talon and Garret from CW’s The Outpost. It was SO HARD for me to find a picture from the third (and latest season) of them to put with this post. It’s even hard to watch any scenes of the show on YouTube. Talon and Garret FINALLY got together this season and it was ABOUT TIME! Since season 1 you have felt the tension between these two, but there were always obstacles and people in between them. There seemed to be potential in the first season and by the start of third I was not holding out hope anymore that they would be together. So, it was such a joyous occasion when they became endgame (is that too soon to say? I have no idea if there’s another season on the horizon). This couple solidified my love for a WARRIOR romance. One where, despite being two different genders (and for this show species), both partners are equal in strength and fighting ability. (Well, Talon could take Garret, but they are such a powerful duo!) I now want to read and watch more romances/ships with this trope. [Please let me know if you have any suggestions.] Just talking about them, I can’t help but smile (almost as big as Garret when he saw Talon again before she left for another mission). At the end of the season they might have tried to make it seem like they would pick other partners and I’m so glad they didn’t. You seriously need to watch this show if any of the above sounded appealing/you like high fantasy and maybe a little CGI cheesiest. 

3. The Society: Grizz and Sam

It breaks my heart talking about this ship ever since Netflix released that they were taking back the second season renewal of The Society. I started watching the Society during quarantine (shocking I know), but I do remember a lot from my time watching (more shocking, right?). Hands down the best couple from this show was Grizz and Sam. They weren’t introduced right away and again I might have cheated when I suspected the two might get together, so I looked up some spoilers. (Honestly, that’s the best sign of a ship in my book. If I can’t wait and need to look up spoilers then your show has a good thing going.) Individually Grizz and Sam were my favorite characters and then pairing them together I was dead. So many amazing moments with them. Naturally we didn’t get enough and I will continue to watch fan videos (because there are so many). They are precious and I’m so glad we got some closure at the end of the season because if we didn’t this cancellation would have been even harder. 

2. Nancy Drew: Nancy and Ace

Okay, I’ll try to keep this brief because I know I’ve talked about this couple A LOT on this page in 2020 (but that might be difficult FYI). From an honorable mention thought last year to #2 this year-THAT’S HUGE! But they deserve it, even if they haven’t officially become a couple on the show...well not yet. Early on in the first season I felt a pull between these two characters, which is super ironic seeing as how they had few scenes together and were a part of two different romances. (I mean Nancy had two different love interests.) I thought I was just imagining things (as I do often pair people who barely share plots), but then episode 14 happened and I was sold. Then I came onto Tumblr and discovered the amount of people that felt it too and knew we had something. Shout out to all the other blogs that mention Nace or are made just to honor this amazing duo. I know they will be endgame too and value all your posts that I’m constantly liking and looking for. 

Again, there’s so much I could talk about, but I’ll focus on how much they trust and listen to one another. (I mean Ace drank that stuff because he trusted Nancy!!!) I love how they get paired up on cases and go into investigator mode. They speak SO CLOSE to one another and just all the looks! If we don’t get more moments in the second season I don’t know how I’ll survive. They are just so perfect and I could easily see them become number 1 next year. I cannot wait for the start of season 2 on Jan. 20th!! For now I’ll fast forward through old episodes and watch my favorite moments. Like these:

AND NUMBER ONE.... DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

1. Anne with an E: Anne and Gilbert

Now I know what you’re thinking...’Stephanie, didn’t you pick Shirbert last year too?’ Why, yes that is true. But back then I had only watched seasons 1 and 2 with some spoiler videos of season 3. The release hadn’t come to Netflix yet. Since then, I have watched the last season (and the show as a whole multiple times). It’s just so good and watching the growth of the characters (not only Shirbert) means so much more when you can watch the episodes back to back. But we’re here for Shirbert and how we watched them rise. Yes, it departed from the novel, but I love the twists and turns it took getting to endgame. So many looks and unspoken feelings. I thought it was great how Anne discovered her feelings. I hated Winifred, but understood her purpose. Anne and Gilbert will always be one of my top OTPs no matter which adaptation. Of course, the book will always be the tops, but so many great representations of it have been done on screen. Ultimate enemies to friends to lovers. I hope to one day create characters that could be so strong and beloved. 

[thinkingthroughpink]

⭐️ Life Update (kinda long) ⭐️ I’ve been officially flying high in the friendly skies for the BEST airline since October 2021!! God has been faithfully blessing me on my Delta journey since I applied in July 2019 🙌🏾

Not many people know the WHOLE story! All the joy from extreme highs and the depression that came from the extreme lows of 2020! I’m beyond grateful for my life and health and promising career! I went through a longer than normal process to get into my passport plum to be able to ✈️ the world!

⭐️ Abridged version ⭐️ My process started with my application for Delta’s “historic” Class of 2020 in July 2019 with my application, next candidate assessment, then a recorded video interview, live internet interview and finally I received an invite to the final F2F (Face to Face) group interview in December 2019 that resulted in my CJO (conditional job offer) on the spot! 🙌🏾 By Christmas 2019 I received my training class date and starting prepping for my journey to begin the first week of March 2020!

On March 2nd, started with my “I” classmates and we were set to graduate 6 weeks later in April 2020. But then the COVID-19 pandemic happened and the world stopped and masked and quarantined globally! And after 3 weeks of rigorous training we were sent home because the pandemic - suspended for 18 months - without any notice it was over and no restart date in site! It was devastating after all the hard work we put in and the jobs we left to go back home without our wings and it wasn’t anything we could do about it 😢😩 But in true form and following it’s core values Delta brought us back and I started with “C” class 2021 in the beginning of September 2021 and after starting over for 6 MORE long, rigorous, stressful, challenging, but rewarding weeks I EARNED MY WINGS and became a certified flight attendant for Delta airlines. God did it!!!

I never knew what the future would hold when I applied for this dream job…career with Delta. But God!! I was able to met my forever friends/fam in 🔺 and I’m traveling the country and soon the world every week! In a year like NO OTHER! I MADE IT 🙌🏾 I’m still surviving and thriving and racking up air miles, pictures, magnets, hotel points, souvenirs, new experiences and memories while I travel to sometimes anywhere between 1-3 cities a day, multiple states weekly and I’m loving it!! It’s tiring but worth it! I’m losing my pandemic pounds from all the walking and hustling with my luggage through airports! I’m able to stay in some really nice hotels on my layovers and I’m meeting interesting customers and a good amount of fun coworkers. I’m a wiser traveler and still learning my best practices for working an energy draining job where you spend most of the time in the skies! I’m stronger mentally than I was in April 2020 and I’m happier because I’m living the life I dreamed of for the greater part of two years!

⭐️ Summing it up⭐️ Just look at me now! It’s 2022!! I’m just two days shy of 4 months “on the line” and enjoying racking up thousands of sky miles, flew SO many states, 2 countries, touched down in over 22+ airports, in over 22+ cities, and one continent! Sometimes I fly from one time zone to another and have to remind myself where I am…what state did I wake up to and where will I sleep at night. I spend way more time in hotels then in own my bed. But I’m enjoying it! So here’s to flying MANY more cities, states, countries and continents in ‘22 and beyond!!

Thank you God for this opportunity!! And Jesus please continue to cover and keep me as I travel, work, play and experience new things all over the world ✈️❤️💜

[thehierophage]

Holy Day Meditation, 4/4/21 e.v.

April 4, 2021 æ.v. Dies Solis, 

☉︎ 15° ♈︎ : ☽︎ 21° ♑︎ : ☉︎ : Ⅴⅴⅰⅰ æ.n. 

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 

The Day of Zayin, the Day of the Lovers 

Hebrew Letter: Zayin 

Numerical Value as Letter: 7 

Numerical Value as Word: 67/717 (Zayin+Yod+Nun or Zayin+Yod+Nun [fin.])

Meaning: Sword, ornament, weapon. 

Thoth Card: The Lovers (Atu VI) 

Alternate Title: The Brothers, The Children of the Voice, The Oracle of the Mighty Gods. 

Image: 

Correspondences: 

Tree of Life Path Association: Key 17 - Tiphareth to Binah (from Sephira 6-3) 

Astrological Sign: Gemini 

Element: Air 

Egyptian Godforms: Various twin Deities, Rekht, Merti, Heru-Ra-Ha 

Geomantic Figure: Albus 

Gemstones: Alexandrite, Tourmaline, Iceland Spar 

Perfumes: Wormwood, Mastic 

Plants: Hybrids, Orchids, Laurel, Bending Vervain 

Animals: Magpie, hybrids, Parrot, Zebra, Penguin 

Colors: 

King Scale – Orange 

Queen Scale – Pale Mauve 

Prince Scale – New yellow leather 

Princess Scale – Reddish grey inclined to mauve 

  The Secret Instruction of the Master:

The Oracle of the Gods is the Child-Voice of Love in thine own Soul! hear thou it! Heed not the Siren-Voice of Sense, or the Phantom-Voice of Reason: rest in Simplicity, and listen to the Silence!

Mnemonic:

To each his Understanding sooth discovers Wordless: your mode, immortal Twins and Lovers!

Recommended Text for Meditation:

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente Sub Figura LXV, cap. 2

Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente

A.˙.A.˙. Publication in Class A. Imprimatur: N. Fra A.˙. A.˙.

II

1.I passed into the mountain of lapis-lazuli, even as a green hawk between the pillars of turquoise that is seated upon the throne of the East.

2.  So came I to Duant, the starry abode, and I heard voices crying aloud.

3.  O Thou that sittest upon the Earth! (so spake a certain Veiled One to me) thou art not greater than thy mother! Thou speck of dust infinitesimal!

Thou art the Lord of Glory, and the unclean dog.

4.  Stooping down, dipping my wings, I came unto the darkly-splendid abodes. There in that formless abyss was I made a partaker of the Mysteries Averse.

5.  I suffered the deadly embrace of the Snake and of the Goat; I paid the infernal homage to the shame of Khem.

6.  Therein was this virtue, that the One became the all.

7.  Moreover I beheld a vision of a river. There was a little boat thereon; and in it under purple sails was a golden woman, an image of Asi wrought in finest gold. Also the river was of blood, and the boat of shining steel. Then I loved her; and, loosing my girdle, cast myself into the stream.

8.  I gathered myself into the little boat, and for many days and nights did I love her, burning beautiful incense before her.

9.  Yea! I gave her of the flower of my youth.

10. But she stirred not; only by my kisses I defiled her so that she turned to blackness before me.

11. Yet I worshipped her, and gave her of the flower of my youth.

12. Also it came to pass, that thereby she sickened, and corrupted before me. Almost I cast myself into the stream.

13. Then at the end appointed her body was whiter than the milk of the stars, and her lips red and warm as the sunset, and her life of a white heat like the heat of the midmost sun.

14. Then rose she up from the abyss of Ages of Sleep, and her body embraced me. Altogether I melted into her beauty and was glad.

15. The river also became the river of Amrit, and the little boat was the chariot of the flesh, and the sails thereof the blood of the heart that beareth me, that beareth me.

16. O serpent woman of the stars! I, even I, have fashioned Thee from a pale image of fine gold.

17. Also the Holy One came upon me, and I beheld a white swan floating in the blue.

18. Between its wings I sate, and the æons fled away.

19. Then the swan flew and dived and soared, yet no whither we went.

20. A little crazy boy that rode with me spake unto the swan, and said:

21. Who art thou that dost float and fly and dive and soar in the inane? Behold, these many æons have passed; whence camest thou? Whither wilt thou go?

22. And laughing I chid him, saying: No whence! No whither!

23. The swan being silent, he answered: Then, if with no goal, why this eternal journey?

24. And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal?

25. And the swan was ever silent. Ah! but we floated in the infinite Abyss. Joy! Joy!

White swan, bear thou ever me up between thy wings!

26. O silence! O rapture! O end of things visible and invisible! This is all mine, who am Not.

27. Radiant God! Let me fashion an image of gems and gold for Thee! that the people may cast it down and trample it to dust! That Thy glory may be seen of them.

28. Nor shall it be spoken in the markets that I am come who should come; but Thy coming shall be the one word.

29. Thou shalt manifest Thyself in the unmanifest; in the secret places men shall meet with thee, and Thou shalt overcome them.

30. I saw a pale sad boy that lay upon the marble in the sunlight, and wept. By his side was the forgotten lute. Ah! but he wept.

31. Then came an eagle from the abyss of glory and overshadowed him. So black was the shadow that he was no more visible.

32. But I heard the lute lively discoursing through the blue still air.

33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!

34. Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.

So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name.

35. Where is now the Master? cry the little crazy boys.

He is dead! He is shamed! He is wedded! and their mockery shall ring round the world.

36. But the Master shall have had his reward.

The laughter of the mockers shall be a ripple in the hair of the Beloved One.

37. Behold! the Abyss of the Great Deep. Therein is a mighty dolphin, lashing his sides with the force of the waves.

38. There is also an harper of gold, playing infinite tunes.

39. Then the dolphin delighted therein, and put off his body, and became a bird.

40. The harper also laid aside his harp, and played infinite tunes upon the Pan-pipe.

41. Then the bird desired exceedingly this bliss, and laying down its wings became a faun of the forest.

42. The harper also laid down his Pan-pipe, and with the human voice sang his infinite tunes.

43. Then the faun was enraptured, and followed far; at last the harper was silent, and the faun became Pan in the midst of the primal forest of Eternity.

44. Thou canst not charm the dolphin with silence, O my prophet!

45. Then the adept was rapt away in bliss, and the beyond of bliss, and exceeded the excess of excess.

46. Also his body shook and staggered with the burden of that bliss and that excess and that ultimate nameless.

47. They cried He is drunk or He is mad or He is in pain or He is about to die; and he heard them not.

48. O my Lord, my beloved! How shall I indite songs, when even the memory of the shadow of thy glory is a thing beyond all music of speech or of silence?

49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!

50. I was alone in a great park, and by a certain hillock was a ring of deep enamelled grass wherein green-clad ones, most beautiful, played.

51. In their play I came even unto the land of Fairy Sleep.

All my thoughts were clad in green; most beautiful were they.

52. All night they danced and sang; but Thou art the morning, O my darling, my serpent that twinest Thee about this heart.

53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.

54. Crush out the blood of me, as a grape upon the tongue of a white Doric girl that languishes with her lover in the moonlight.

55. Then let the End awake. Long hast thou slept, O great God Terminus! Long ages hast thou waited at the end of the city and the roads thereof.

Awake Thou! wait no more!

56. Nay, Lord! but I am come to Thee. It is I that wait at last.

57. The prophet cried against the mountain; come thou hither, that I may speak with thee!

58. The mountain stirred not. Therefore went the prophet unto the mountain, and spake unto it. But the feet of the prophet were weary, and the mountain heard not his voice.

59. But I have called unto Thee, and I have journeyed unto Thee, and it availed me not.

60. I waited patiently, and Thou wast with me from the beginning.

61. This now I know, O my beloved, and we are stretched at our ease among the vines.

62. But these thy prophets; they must cry aloud and scourge themselves; they must cross trackless wastes and unfathomed oceans; to await Thee is the end, not the beginning.

63. Let darkness cover up the writing! Let the scribe depart among his ways.

64. But thou and I are stretched at our ease among the vines; what is he?

65. O Thou beloved One! is there not an end? Nay, but there is an end. Awake! arise! gird up thy limbs, O thou runner; bear thou the Word unto the mighty cities, yea, unto the mighty cities.

Love is the law, love under will.

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

Ultimate Prize

“But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts?” Matthew 9:4ESV

Imaging God would or could allow us to suffer or go through extreme agony, even death stretches my imagination beyond capacity. Our scripture text speaks of thinking evil in our hearts. To my finite mind suffering and death fall into the range of thinking evil to the max. Because I do believe in the power of suffering and death, with our Christ having suffered and died in agony for us, could it be I have something besides God as my ultimate prize?

Christ’s disciples saw healings and glorious miracles. Jesus told them He would suffer and die, even be raised on the third day. Their minds like mine couldn’t reconcile such good out of what seemed to be so evil. Oswald Chambers, ‘My Utmost For His Highest,’ August 5… “Jesus Christ called His disciples to see Him put to death; He led every one of them to the place where their hearts were broken. Jesus Christ’s life was an absolute failure from every standpoint but God’s. But what seemed failure from man’s standpoint was a tremendous triumph from God’s, because God’s purpose is never man’s purpose.” OC

Had He not suffered on the cross, there would be no salvation, no healing, no resurrection. We have all of these plus more because of the price He paid and the love shown through His sufferings. My mind wrestles with all the glorious promises God has made to His children and the dichotomy of what Christ, Paul, and Peter have said— — Christ speaking: Mark 8:34ESV “And calling the crowd to Him with His disciples, He said to them, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.” — Paul speaking from prison: Philippians 3:10NKJV “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,” — Peter speaking: 1Peter 4:13KJV “ But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

My question is: How can our suffering, agony, even death add to what Christ did on the cross. Yet Peter, Paul and all but John, of the apostles, suffered and died the death of a martyr. Is Christianity worth dying for? Yes. Absolutely. Brought down to death or denying Christ, no true believer would deny Jesus. Oswald Chambers continues……  “If we are in communion with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, we shall no longer try to find out what His purposes are…. A Christian is one who trusts the wits and the wisdom of God, and not his own wits…. purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the leisureliness which ought to characterize the children of God.” OC

“Think evil” then in our hearts is to follow our own wits, purposes, or wills as better than God’s ways and plans for us. We must join Paul in saying, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21ESV. When we realize Jesus is our ultimate prize, everything here on earth pales in comparison.

Somehow suffering advances the gospel, see Philippians 1:12, ask the Chinese, Iranians, North Koreans how it works. The greater their sufferings, the faster new believers are added to the kingdom of God, all lining up to pay the ultimate price for the ultimate prize.  How about you? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: Father God, help us to prize You over all else, to reconcile every suffering, and every victory in our minds as ways to bring You glory, for we know Your plans and ways are perfect in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2021 You have my permission to reblog this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional, as author. Thank you.

[letterboxd]

Beautiful Signs.

CODA writer and director Siân Heder talks to Ella Kemp about the expressiveness of ASL, ‘treacle cutter’, Joni Mitchell and how Deaf culture can connect us all.

When I speak to Siân Heder, she teaches me how to say “thank you” in American Sign Language—making sure I can say it properly before we move on in our conversation. The writer and filmmaker, bringing her sophomore feature as director into the world in the shape of CODA, is laser-focused on creating greater awareness of Deaf communities on screen, despite being a hearing person herself.

Her new film, a warm and big-hearted coming-of-ager about Ruby Rossi, a hearing teenage girl in a Deaf family (also known as a Child of Deaf Adults, the acronym which gives the film its name), is technically a remake of the 2014 French film La Famille Bélier. But where that film was criticized for casting exclusively hearing actors in the film’s roles, that was never going to slide with someone as headstrong and empathetic as Heder.

While our ostensible heroine is Ruby (played by an incandescent Emilia Jones), CODA takes the time to swim among half a dozen different dreams and difficulties within her entire loveable and determined family. And it’s not just anyone playing the Rossi clan: Matriarch Jackie is played by the indomitable Marlee Matlin, while her beloved husband Frank is brought to life by a foul-handed Troy Kotsur, and Daniel Durant stakes his claim as a major talent, playing Ruby’s older brother, Leo.

Emilia Jones, Troy Kotsur and Marlee Matlin in ‘CODA’.

These family members rely on Ruby as their unofficial interpreter, both on a day-to-day basis and as part of their fishing business, but her dream of being a singer means everyone must make room for each other’s ambitions to thrive. What elevates CODA, along with its focus on ASL, is the way in which Heder and her cast establish the family’s quirks and tiny everyday joys, giving their home a solid, lived-in vibe (Matlin’s and Kotsur’s chemistry is off the charts).

A few details ring slightly untrue—that the Rossis would still be considered outsiders in their small town, for example, when they are a generations-deep fishing family, is somewhat hard to fathom. But review after review is happy to overlook the dialed-up drama and extra helpings of cheese, choosing to fall willingly victim to the film’s feel-good charms.

“The size of its massive heart crushes any of its flaws,” Brian Tallerico wrote at the start of this year, after the film opened the virtual 2021 Sundance Film Festival (it won three big awards and smashed the festival’s sales record when Apple acquired distribution rights for a cool $25 million). It takes a special story to make you feel as involved and excited when you’re forced to discover a new movie at home on your own, rather than with a crowd in a cinema—but that’s exactly what CODA does best. And, it’s one for every member of the family: “My mom’s gonna love this, but for once I agree,” Sarah aptly puts it.

We spoke to Heder about what happens when you have to have ‘the sex talk’ with your teen in ASL, learning to make each other laugh, and the magic of Joni Mitchell.

Ruby (Emilia Jones) translates for her fishing family in ‘CODA’.

CODA is based on La Famille Bélier, but you fought quite hard to cast Deaf actors in the film and have ASL experts on set. It feels like your relationship with the film’s story, and the Deaf community, goes far beyond fiction? Siân Heder: When I came to the project, I was really an outsider. I didn’t know a lot about the Deaf community and I was struck that there were so few films to look at that represented Deaf culture. I really could count them on one hand when I started trying to research, and so when you start to realize how little representation is out there, there’s an enormous responsibility that you’re taking on.

I thought, if I’m going to put these characters and this culture on screen, and it’s a culture that is not my own, I want to make sure that I am honoring it—that I am including collaborators from the community that can speak to the lived experience, and put my own hearing perspective in check; making sure that I had a really amazing team around me who could help me to tell this story and make it deeper and richer and more authentic than I ever could have done alone.

Did you have any fear that you wouldn’t be the right person to do this? There was never a feeling of ‘I’m not going to do this’. The only feeling I had was when there was pressure being put to not cast Deaf actors in the roles. I thought, ‘I would rather just watch this movie die than see it get made the wrong way’. So I really dove in.

I wish that I had been studying ASL when I was writing this script. I got on set and of course was like, ‘Oh, it’s so different being in class than it is when you’re engaging and trying to direct actors in sign language’. And so if there was any fear, it was like, ‘I wish my level of fluency was way higher so that I wouldn’t have had to rely on interpreters as much’.

There wasn’t really a roadmap of like, how do we do this? How many interpreters do we need on set? Where should they be? What are the things that we need to put in place to make a truly accessible set? It was all just exciting and led to the kind of problem solving you do on a movie with anything that you’re diving into.

Siân Heder directs Eugenio Derbez in a scene from ‘CODA’.

I’m not very familiar with ASL, and something that struck me in CODA is just how funny the film is, and how much of that comedy comes from facial expressions and body language. In comedies about hearing communities I often think, ‘This is just not funny, it’s a bit forced’. What do you think we—as much audiences as performers and just empaths generally—can learn from ASL in terms of how we make each other laugh? When hearing people think about ASL, they think it’s using your hands to talk, it’s just hand shapes. And ASL is not just that. ASL is using your hands, but your facial expressions are a part of the language. So how your eyebrows move, for example. If your eyebrows are not raised, you’re not asking a question. You ask a question in ASL through your eyebrow shape, your mouth shape. If you want to say something that is big, your mouth is open. If something’s small, your mouth is closed. It’s very expressive and it’s also very visual. So when you’re signing, the sign for anything looks like the thing itself.

So if you’re having an embarrassing sex talk where a father is explaining to his daughter how she needs to have safe sex, seeing him sign that would be genuinely embarrassing because the language itself is so visual. And so if you sign ‘ejaculate’, you’re looking like you’re doing the thing! So there are many lessons to take, in terms of the expressiveness of the language and really living the thing that you’re talking about.

Oftentimes, in hearing culture, words are coming out, but you’re not really connected to them. Because in ASL there isn’t really past tense or future tense—you’re telling a story in the present, and then you’re putting it in the past or the future—you’re really living what you’re saying in the moment. That can feel connected, and also funny, but also very emotional when it needs to feel emotional. When you’re communicating in ASL, you have to look right at the person you’re talking to. That’s something we don’t do often in hearing culture, and could probably stand to do more of.

Another very direct tool you use to convey emotion is a-cappella performances. There’s great faith in a singer’s voice to be just as powerful even without instruments. Why did it feel like a right fit for a lot of the music in CODA? I had an amazing music team in Marius De Vries and Nick Baxter, who were wonderful in putting together arrangements that could feel very exciting and musical, and, especially with the choir, really energetic and fun. We recorded all of the music on set live, so there was also that element where you don’t know what was going to happen, and you don’t know what’s going to come out of the group or Emilia.

It was high pressure for Emilia because she wasn’t a trained singer. She’d been working with vocal coaches, but her voice was really opening up as we were shooting and she was discovering these moments herself. I remember in the concert, she opened her mouth and this huge note came out and she looked over at me and was like, “Holy shit, can you believe that just came out of me?!” and I’m like, “I can’t, actually I’ve never heard you make that sound!”

So, that was the fun of it. And we worked with a real choir, the Berklee choir, and they had worked together before and also really helped with a lot of the vocal arrangements. I actually had to take them down a bit because I was, like, “this is supposed to be Gloucester High School and you guys sound too good to be Gloucester High School”. It’s a good problem to have. “Can some of you be off key? Can I throw in some kids who can’t sing at all so this is more realistic for high school?” But the music element was really fun and a very nice contrast to the silence in the film.

Daniel Durant, Matlin and Kotsur in a concert scene from ‘CODA’.

There’s one specific silence which blew me away, during Ruby and Miles’ major duet in the concert, where suddenly we’re in her parents’ skin and the film goes quiet. It speaks to something I so love about the film, which is that it took me by surprise. In some scenes you’ve got very sincere emotion undercut with an insult at the end, and here you’d expect this huge musical catharsis and instead we sit with the silence. As a filmmaker, how do you know when to take that risk to go against the current, formally and emotionally? I think there is such a lesson in that if you can make people laugh, then you can make them cry as well. It’s actually the same part of us that opens up and that lets down your guard, and you’re much more open to the emotion when it comes.

The movie could tip over into being melodramatic and could feel manipulative, and so my editor [Geraud Brisson] and I were so careful with the emotion in the film. We wanted to make sure we were never using score to lead emotion, we were always letting those emotions be organic, and scoring much further after the emotional moment than you would normally do in a film. And we wanted to make sure you do have a laugh at the end of a very serious scene—like when there’s this incredible heart to heart between Ruby and her mother where she says, “Don’t worry, you’re a bad mom for all these other reasons.” It’s genuine, it’s how you would be with your mom who annoyed the shit out of you most of the time! I think those moments are really important.

I used to work on Orange is the New Black for many years, and Jenji Kohan, who created the show, was actually brilliant at that. I would write a script and it would be an emotional scene, and she would write “treacle cutter” at the end of the scene. And what it meant is, like, “Find something here that’ll undercut that emotion that you’re delivering and surprise the audience”. It was great training for me because I love living in the emotion but I also love comedy, and Jenji was very bold about mixing those two things.

What should we watch after CODA? ASL 101 on YouTube! Actually, Lifeprint have some really great free ASL lessons. You should go to Lifeprint and study “ASL first 100 words” after the movie, so that next time you encounter a Deaf person in the world you’ll have a hundred more words to use. Well, you’ll have to go and study BSL [British Sign Language], so that will be your own journey…

Challenge accepted! And what was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? When I was thirteen, I went to see Do The Right Thing in a theater and I was so blown away by that movie. But I also really felt Spike Lee. I was like, ‘Oh, somebody made all of these choices that made this movie’. I think it probably planted the seed of like, ‘Oh, that’s what that is. That’s what that job is, you can be an artist and make all these choices and make a film. That’s powerful.’

Andrea Arnold was a very inspiring filmmaker for me, too. Fish Tank is one of my favorite movies, and she was really somebody that I looked up to and modeled as a female director who was making really impressive work. I wanted to make work that felt as deep and connected as her movies make me feel.

I obviously have to finish by asking about Joni Mitchell, and what ‘Both Sides Now’, so beautifully used in CODA, means to you. I love Joni Mitchell and I love that song. It was one of the first songs she ever recorded, when she was just starting out in her twenties. When you listen to the original, it’s full of all this hope and optimism, it’s got a faster tempo. And then you listen to the recording that she did at 65 and it is a completely different song. You can tell that she’s imbuing her own song with all of this regret and lived experience and heartbreak. I love the idea that one singular thing an artist creates could take on these two very different perspective shifts.

A CODA experience is all about perspective. It’s living through the hearing eyes and through Deaf eyes and trying to live both, and see the world in these different ways. Joni Mitchell has described that song as being the end of her childhood, about childhood fantasy butting up against adult reality. And that’s what the movie is about. It’s about how you find your own identity once you’re outside of the culture and the womb of your family.

And it’s beautiful when it’s signed. I loved what Alexandria [Wailes, ASL Master on CODA] did with the sign choices there and what those lyrics look like visually. It was the perfect song to end the film with.

Related content

The Letterboxd Show podcast episode featuring CODA and Sound of Metal actor Paul Raci

Alma’s DEAF list

All Are Welcome: Ella’s report from Sundance on the 2021 festival’s accessibility offerings

Brian’s invaluable Disabled Life on Film list

Senses and Sensibility: Mike’s list of documentaries on deafness and blindness

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘CODA’ is now available worldwide on Apple TV+.

[pcttrailsidereader]

14 Lessons from theTrail

As the 2021 hiking season is well underway, the time is right to share wisdom from seasoned veterans of the trail.  Brett Fisher (Backtrack) – http://www.wanderabout.org/ – suggested that the five lessons from the PCT as articulated by Anna (North Star) and Chris (Shutterbug) – http://wanderingthewild.com/ – along with the five more added by Bobcat –  http://roamingbobcat.wordpress.com/ – and finished off with his own four, would be worthy of publishing.  I agreed.  Reflection is such an important part of the PCT experience.  

These 14 lessons are a powerful reminder to each of us long distance hikers.  I love the positive spirit reflected in their words. You may have your own to add and you may take issue with some (I’m still chewing on #8) … please let us know.

Brett ‘Backtrack’ Fisher

North Star and Shutterbug noted that their thru hike of the Pacific Crest Trail taught them many things. Here are five of the most important lessons they learned on the trail.

1) Senses awaken in nature. After years of living in a city, our minds subconsciously created filters to deal with the contant  jumble of sensory information. It was thrilling to remove those mental filters and reawaken our senses in the great outdoors. The crack of a distant twig alerted us to an elk, almost hidden in the forest. We could smell day hikers’ deodorant and laundry detergent from several feet away. Our eyes tracked the subtle movements of a soaring hawk adjusting to shifting air currents. The longer we lived in the wild, the sharper our senses became.

2) People are good. On the trail, day hikers and trail angels gave us encouragement, kudos, and tasty food. Other thru hikers shared our joy during good times, and cheered us up during harder moments. Crews of volunteers labored to maintain the trail. The people we met in the small towns along the PCT were incredibly friendly and accommodating. Strangers went out of their way to give us rides, find us rooms, and some even offered us their homes for a night. The kindness and generosity we received went beyond anything we could have expected. We saw the fundamental goodness of people during our thru hike.

3) Hike your own hike. Hikers often tell each other to “Hike your own hike” (HYOH), recognizing a wide variety of backpacking preferences. We knew this phrase before starting the Pacific Crest Trail, but its meaning really sank in with a few hundred miles under our feet. HYOH worked for us in many small ways, such as our hiking pace — we walked slower than most thru hikers so we could take more pictures. But we also realized HYOH applied to larger life choices, such as our decision to continue hiking long trails, rather than immediately returning to desk jobs. To Hike Your Own Hike is to allow yourself to do what works best for you and your passions, and to support others in doing what works for them. The result is greater happiness for everyone.

4) Fewer possessions is freeing.  We found that the less we had, the happier we were. Each possession was not only physical weight to carry, but also mental weight. Carrying just one set of clothes meant no decisions about what to wear in the morning. Instead of carrying chairs, which could break or get left behind, we sat on the ground or on logs. Taking only the food we needed made meal choices simple. We didn’t bring bowls and plates, all of which we’d have to clean. Rather we ate right from our pot. With less items to think and fret about, our minds could relax and be open to all the beauty around us. The simple lifestyle is truly freeing.

5) Wilderness is home. As the weeks passed, we became more and more comfortable living in the desert, the mountains, and the forest. A primal part of us came to the forefront. Fresh air, clean water, and open space surrounded us and sustained us. As our relationship with the wilderness deepened, we felt more at home there than we did in civilization. We had not expected this, but it turned out to be one of the most powerful aspects of the hike.

                                                                     Photo Credit: Rees Hughes

These are the five added by Bobcat.

6) Joy is our natural state. On the trail life is reduced to its most basic necessities: water, food, sleep, shelter, safety from the elements and natural beauty. Because our minds are freed from having to handle what Northstar and Shutterbug call the constant jumble of sensory information, we are open to tackle deeper and deeper levels of thought. Because the trail is so long, at some point we run out of things to ponder, analyze, consider or solve. When that happens, the void that is left seems to immediately be filled with a sense of joy and peace. So, at our most basic level, underneath it all, this must be our natural state.

7) Life is a mirror (you get what you give). I have experienced this more than once on the trail: If I approach the road in a joyful and optimist state, I wait for a hitch less than five minutes; if I approach it with a bad attitude, it will be a long while before I get picked up. The kindness and generosity we received as hikers I believe is in direct correlation to our own state of open-mindedness. The opposite is true also. Fear attracts scary situation. People who feared bears had bear encounters. I started the trail worried about poisonous plants and managed to get poison oak on one leg and poodle-dog-bush on the other. When I became grateful for the cortisone cream two generous hikers gave me, the oozy mess cleared up over night.

8) All you need is love and gratitude. Somewhere in the first few hundred miles of the trail, I became so frustrated with my UV water purifier and so jacked up on iodine that I stopped using any sort of water treatment. Instead, I held the water to my heart and told it, sincerely, “I love you, please don’t make me sick, thank you”. The method proved excellent the whole trail, including with that one batch of “bear pooh water” (see “I believe in angels”). Inspired by my success, I also used this method as sunscreen (I love you Sun, please don’t burn me, thank you), bug-repellent (I love you spider, please stay off my tarp, thank you) and holographic deck (I love you trail, could I get a shady spot, mosquito free, by some water, thank you). Seriously, it works. Try it for yourself.

9) Freedom is an intrinsic quality. Before I left, a good friend told me that the PCT would likely be the one place where I could find enough space to accommodate my humongous need for freedom. All former thru-hikers I have met mention “freedom” as the greatest gift they received from the trail. All that fresh air, clean water and open space seeps into your soul and sticks. I think freedom is always in us, but sometimes our vision of it is clouded. Once we touch that quality within us, it remains wherever the end of the trail finds us. Some of us continue to wander, travel, explore or hike; others return to former lives and jobs from an expanded perspective. In all cases, you can take the hiker off the trail, but not the trail out of the hiker.

10) Laugh it off. Never mind great truths and life-changing discoveries; we know nothing. Any labeled identity we create for ourselves will be destroyed as soon as it’s uttered. I once wrote that my feet hurt, the next day my feet stopped hurting. I once wrote that I preferred solitude, the next day I found myself  hiking with a small group of fun people and loving it. I once was very upset at the thought of no-longer being a “thru-hiker”. I think we all feel that way. That is in part why we seek the company of other thru-hikers post-trail. Am I still a hiker if I’m not hiking? Who cares! Each experience is worth its weight in gold. I think it’s important to not take ourselves too seriously and as Dacia so eloquently put, to get out of our own way, learn to surf the wave, revel in the power of it, and let it all come together.

                                                                         Photo credit: Jim Peacock

And the final four from Backtrack.

11) It’s not a race. Lightweight, a hiker who hadn’t yet escaped the vortex at Casa de Luna, started a list in the Anderson’s trail register, “How To Win the PCT.” First on the list: Be the last to Canada. If you’re hiking northbound that is. Hiking a long trail is not a competition. There aren’t winners and losers. All of us get there only one step at a time.

12) It’s not about the miles, but what happens between the miles. I heard this from my daughter, Dances With Lizards, the only member of Team No Hurries to get to Canada this year. Maybe this is a variation of “the journey is the destination.” We live between the miles. Not in how many miles we’ve walked today, all week, or the whole hiking season.

13) It is what it is. It’s 105 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s 18 miles to water. There’s a thunderstorm right on top of us. The snake ate the rabbit babies. I am very hungry. It isn’t good and it isn’t bad. It is what it is and has no need for meaning. I take a break in the shade in the heat of the day. I carry 4 liters of water. I hunker down from the rain and lightning and watch the display. A snake’s got to eat, too. I eat some food. It is what it is, now and in this moment.

14) There’s pain but that doesn’t mean there is suffering. A day hiker descending Mount Whitney says to me, “Are we having fun yet?” I am huffing and puffing and legs burning on the way up and pant out, “I think we do this for other reasons than fun.” Walking on blisters hurts. Legs and knees and ankles and feet sometimes ache, and sometimes all ache at the same time. Sometimes I am very hungry. Sometimes I smell very bad and so do all my companions. My socks have holes in them. Yet, I laugh at the pain and discomfort. We laugh together. There is joy out here on this trail. Between every step and every mile.

15) add yours here …

[doomedandstoned]

Planet of the Dead Return to the Stars as ‘Pilgrims’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Album Art by Jonathan Guzi

Every other day there's a story that calls our eyes heavenward to wonder about new planets discovered in nearby solar systems, terraforming Mars, or exploring the smallest elements in the universe. Anywhere has to be better than here, any time better than here right now. At least that's what a lot of people are feeling. How about the power of music to elevate us into vast dimensions of the imagination. One band out of New Zealand is interested in finding out what limits one can breach when the driving power of doom rock is hotwired with adventurous sci-fi/fantasy storytelling.

I speak, of course, of Wellington quartet PLANET OF THE DEAD Last year, Mark Mundell (vox), Malcolm McKenzie (guitar), Kees Hengst (bass), and Josh Hussey (drums) brought us the impressive first introduction to their soundscape and narrative concept, which elicited no small amount of praise for 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), including the enthusiastic Bandcamper who gushed, "Some of the best jams I've heard in this universe!" Listen to fan favorites "The Eternal Void" or "Mind Killer" and you'll discover why there's excitement around this band's future.

But Planet of the Dead wasn't done yet. As many of us have already experienced, unexpected and elongated times of forced aloneness do crazy things to the creative mind. For one, it frustrates, as you cannot express the present songs you feel so strongly about to live crowds filled with spontaneous drifters. The moods usually shift out of sheer exasperated boredom, leading to the insatiable urge to begin tinkering again. 'Pilgrim' (2021) comes at us like an explosion with stories to tell and songs to wail. It's purpose-driven interdimensional doom we're talking about here. This may have been the impetus behind the second album’s creation, so closely after the birth of their first (incidentally, both records feature exactly eight songs a piece).

"Gom Jabbar" is the first creature we chance upon in this otherworldly dimension. He speaks with synth-enhanced vocals (ever so slightly) that's practically like an alien encounter if you listen to it high (gosh, sorry. I've gotta stop leaking album reviewer secrets like that). A defiant second voice joins the dialogue, sounding for all the world like Goliath, Hercules, or Hulkian figure.

"Pilgrim" stirs up grey and purple auras as this groovy sandcrawler glides across dunes and high above deserts, searching for the most fitting place to (re)build the world they once knew, perhaps even dare to dream beyond it. I'm assuming they're a scientific voyage on the run from a restrictive government in a week's long mini series I should have pitched to NBC 20 years ago for big bucks. The song allows your imagination drift on its own recognisance, before the closing words call us back to the shadows.

A dire feeling blankets the air throughout "Nostromo," a stomping little number that's straight-up doom rock, with a cool streetwalking kind of stride. It's impossible to not to think of previous adventures aboard vessels christened Nostromo, but each are mysterious encounters with the unknown, some of which yield new insights into our humanity by taking us back through some strange luck of heavy metal time travel to experience pivotal moments in astral history.

"The Sprawl" may be one of the most dismal legs of this journey, but in an exotic acid-soaked kind of way that makes you question your reality (and your own sanity) before the trip is done. The song is good about building various layers of joy and tension, then meshing them together for some distorted, fuzzy, electric, sparkin' Frankensteinian experience. Where will the spiral take us next? Confident lead gets a riff-enhanced jolt, staging march-like-groove that eventually turns meditative, psychedelic, and ethereal. And that's just the first side of the record! Go ahead, flip it over. You can't stop this far-invested in the trip. Shhh. Listen. Grungy, rumbling energy, extraterrestrial harmonics, and gnarly acid-touched solos are just ahead.

"Escape from Smith's Grove" jars the senses with the unexpected tonal shift from clarinets into a seismic pattern of eruptions that match our stomping feet. This is, after all, a jailbreak of sorts.

"Directive IV" takes the perspective of an enforcement officer who is just doing his job. Mark Mundell's vocal stylings are on-point. For me they compare to the pipes of the late-great Wayne Static, the spastic, growling frontman of Static X. Others may see more similarity with the "common man" grit of Scott Angelacos from Hollow Leg and Junior Bruce. Or even Kirk Windstein's apocalyptic spitfire with Crowbar.

The song appears to be a struggle of conscience between compassion and machine-like order, a tug-of-war that after several epic call and response segments in which our protagonist is put on trial by his peers. The tight grip of fascistic space goons gradually loosens their grip in the song's final minutes, as a street-worn riff storm carries our rebels far away from the grasp of whatever the fucks. That means our (now treasonous) soldier has a second chance at life in the (are you ready for this?) the unknown wilds of...

..."The Cursed Earth." This is a perfect song for that moment in a show when the alcohol or "legal tobacco" has sufficiently unlocked your third eye with stellar riffs and choruses (this song has several "ah-ha" moments). The vocals are obscured here and are sometimes backed up by other singers to emphasize a specific point in the lyrical narrative. The final moments again are slowed down with impactful tonal moments that make you think you're on the edge spying some strange meeting of warrior souls.

Things are not what they seem They never are

"The Great Wave" pulls you right into its hypnotic sway, interjected with extraterrestrial strains of thought communicated as if by a very blasted HAL 9000, our onboard computer. It's downright creepy when it hits you. Then again, maybe that's what we want from an intrepid album such as Pilgrim, to rope us into a fascinating narrative and invite us to return to sort out the details, several spins down the road. Now that I think of it, maybe these songs are all references pinned to great Alien, Robocop, and Judge Dredd moments? Listen closely to "Nostromo" and "Directive IV" and wonder. A good album should do that to a person, draw you into its storytelling and musical colour. It has me listening to it immediately from beginning to end, then end to beginning. If you wanna give it a shot, Planet of the Dead's monsterpiece will definitely reward your back-to-back listens.

Look for Pilgrims to come to life on July 23rd, with a fantastic spread of options on vinyl and CD (pre-order here). In the meanwhile, Planet of the Dead are letting us join the party leading up to the big drop right here at Doomed & Stoned HQ, where you can hear each track in full. Don't miss crucial insight from the band itself in 'Some Buzz' to follow. Then join in sharing your thoughts and theories (stoned or otherwise) on this transcendental New Zealand metal album in the comments below!

Give ear...

LISTEN: Planet of the Dead - Pilgrim

SOME BUZZ

Just little over a year following the release of their auspicious debut album, 'Fear of a Dead Planet' (2020), which attained more than 35,000 views on YouTube, New Zealand cosmic stoner and doom four-piece band Planet of the Dead are back with a new full-length album titled 'Pilgrims' (2021).

Hurtling towards the forever yawning void within their busted-up space freighter, they draw inspiration from classic science fiction and horror, and push supermassive and megalithic riffs to the outer limits.

"Our second album came together around the titular track 'Pilgrim', which is based on the book 'Slaughterhouse 5' by Kurt Vonnegut. Musically, it plays upon the themes of moments trapped in the amber." So says the band about this new album.

"Our basic concept is heavy music played heavy, and we try to keep it simple. There are recurrent themes in our riffs which gives the album a sense of coherence, but we've experimented with some new sounds in the latest album which we feel results in a greater sense of dynamism.

"Lyrically, we dug deeper into our obsessions with classic sci-fi and horror. There is a distinctive and undeniable fan-fiction element to our work. We actively seek out cultural references, and weave them into our tapestries. Ultimately, we do everything we do for the great god Dyzan, for his greater glory...and for our mutual pleasure.”

Set for release on July 23rd, 'Pilgrims' will surely cement Planet of the Dead’s reputation as serious riff merchants.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[veale2006-blog]

"We Expect God To Be There"

Friday, August 6, 2021

He and You

President Franklin Roosevelt used to attend a church in Washington. One day, somebody telephoned the church and asked anxiously, "Tell me, do you expect the President to be in church this Sunday?" The rector answered, "That, I cannot promise. But we expect God to be there. That will be incentive enough for a reasonably large attendance." What if you heard that the President of the United States was coming to attend your worship service? You'd be very excited, you'd make sure to get there early and you'd be more eager to invite friends. You would not allow rain or other engagements to stop you. If that's how you'd be if the President decided to attend your next worship service, how much more should you be all those things every week of the year? Because someone far greater than the President is definitely showing up... Yeshua, Jesus, the Messiah, the Light of the World, God, the King of the Universe! Be excited about the things of God.... Be excited about God. Be excited about going to worship service. For far more awesome and exciting than a meeting with a President... is a meeting with God.

Today's Mission

Get more excited about God. Mark your calendar for this week's service that "Yeshua, the Messiah, King of the Universe", will be the honored guest... and get there early.

Acts 2:28

28 Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.

“Fellow Israelites, listen carefully to these words: Jesus the Nazarene, a man thoroughly accredited by God to you—the miracles and wonders and signs that God did through him are common knowledge—this Jesus, following the deliberate and well-thought-out plan of God, was betrayed by men who took the law into their own hands, and was handed over to you. And you pinned him to a cross and killed him. But God untied the death ropes and raised him up. Death was no match for him. David said it all:

I saw God before me for all time. Nothing can shake me; he’s right by my side. I’m glad from the inside out, ecstatic;

I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope. I know you’ll never dump me in Hades; I’ll never even smell the stench of death. You’ve got my feet on the life-path, with your face shining sun-joy all around.

Look in the mirror

No leader, no ruler, no guru, no law, no concept can change human nature. Yet you can learn to live with your own nature, and that of others, and do so with great success.

There is no arrangement, legal, financial, physical, social, that will make life perfect. It is within life’s imperfections that you have endless opportunities to make life good.

Begging, forcing, or shaming other people into doing what you think they should do will not bring value or fulfillment to your life. Instead, look in the mirror.

You are already in control of your own behavior, so use your own actions to move life in the direction you desire. Though it’s easy to blame your problems on others, it’s far more powerful when you take responsibility for them no matter who is to blame.

Sure, many factors beyond your control affect the quality of your life. Nonetheless, your best chance at improving that quality comes from the way you choose to live.

If you’re looking for someone to hold responsible, look in the mirror. Live up to that responsibility and make yourself a beneficial influence in your own life as well as in the lives of others.

Transform Negativity

The energies of life come to meet us at every moment. Most come from other people who either in the same room or on the flickering, technicolor screens with which we now share most of our homes. The vast majority of these energies are not positive. So how do we handle the ‘the negatives’, whether it’s someone’s attitude, their hurtful gestures or our daily dose of world violence and mayhem.

There are three cardinal rules. First, do not absorb it – don’t be an emotional sponge. Second do not reflect it back. Otherwise you begin a cycle of emotional exchanges which may last a long time. And third, do the one thing which marks us as intelligent human beings – transform it.

Even if the scene is a disaster there is some benefit somewhere in it. Even if you are watching two peoples beliefs or opinions slug it out to the edge of violence don’t take sides. Instead offer a solution then stand well back. Even if the person hates you, accept their state of being and return the light of love. In time, with patience, it will illuminate their darkness, and return to you by the bucketful! Just wait.

Love, Debbie

[seekfirstme]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2021. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: In his Last Supper discourse with his beloved disciples Jesus speaks of his glory and the glory of his Father. What is this glory? It is the cross which Jesus speaks of here and the willing offering of his life for us. How does the cross reveal this glory? In the cross God reveals the breadth of his great love for sinners and the power of Jesus' redemptive sacrifice which cancels the debt of sin and reverses the curse of our condemnation (Romans 8:1). Jesus gave his Father the supreme honor and glory through his obedience and willingness to go to the cross for our sake. In times of defense the greatest honor belongs not to those who fought and survived but to those who gave the supreme sacrifice of their own lives for their fellow citizens.The Lord Jesus freely and willingly offered up his life out of obedience to his Father and love for us.

Jesus reveals the glory of God to us

Jesus speaks of the Father bringing glory to the Son through the great mystery of the Incarnation - the eternal Word who became flesh for our sake (John 1:14) - and the Cross of Christ which won for us pardon, freedom, and new life in the Holy Spirit. God the Father gave us his only begotten Son to set us free from slavery to sin, guilt, and condemnation. His sacrificial death brings us new life - the abundant life of peace and joy which God wishes to share with each one of us. There is no greater proof of God's love for each and every person on the face of the earth than the Cross of Jesus Christ. In the cross we see a new way of love - a love that is merciful, sacrificial, and generous beyond measure.

Jesus offers abundant life without end

Jesus offers us eternal life. What is eternal life? It is more than simply a life without end or an eternal state of being. Science and medicine look for ways to extend the duration of human life - but God offers us something vastly greater and more surpassing than a simple extension of physical life. Eternal life is qualitative more than quantitative. To have eternal life is to have the very life of God within us. When we possess eternal life we experience here and now something of God's majesty, glory, and holiness which he shares with us. Through the gift and working of the Holy Spirit, God fills us with the abundant fruit of his peace, joy and love.

We can know God personally

Jesus also speaks of the knowledge of God. Jesus tells his disciples that they can know the only true God. Knowledge of God is not simply limited to knowing something about God, but we can know God personally and be united with God in a personal relationship of love and friendship. The essence of Christianity, and what makes it distinct from Judaism and other religions, is the personal and experiential knowledge of God as our eternal Father - the one who knew us before creation (Ephesians 1:4 and Romans 8:29) and who knit us in our mother's womb (Psalm 139:13 and Jeremiah 1:5). Jesus makes it possible for each of us to personally know God as our Father. To see Jesus is to see what God is like.

A unity of love that endures forever

In Jesus Christ we see the perfect love of God - a God who cares intensely and who yearns over men and women, loving them to the point of laying down his life for them upon the Cross. Jesus is the revelation of God - a God who loves us completely, unconditionally and perfectly. Do you hunger to know God personally and to be united with the Father in his Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the unity of the Holy Spirit who dwells with us? The Lord Jesus invites each of us to enter more deeply into a personal relationship of love and oneness of mind, heart, and spirit with the eternal Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who created us in love for love.

"If only I possessed the grace, good Jesus, to be utterly at one with you! Amidst all the variety of worldly things around me, Lord, the only thing I crave is unity with you. You are all my soul needs. Unite, dear friend of my heart, this unique little soul of mine to your perfect goodness.You are all mine; when shall I be yours? Lord Jesus, my beloved, be the magnet of my heart; clasp, press, unite me for ever to your sacred heart. You have made me for yourself; make me one with you. Absorb this tiny drop of life into the ocean of goodness whence it came. (Prayer of Francis de Sales, 1567-1622) "

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2021.

BOLD AND UNCOMPROMISING

“I have never shrunk from announcing to you God’s design in its entirety.” —Acts 20:27

Historically, when the Church has been shrinking, the Lord has raised up shrink-resistant men and women who never shrink from speaking the total truth of God’s plan (Acts 20:27). They insist “solemnly on repentance before God” (Acts 20:21). They never shrink from telling people what is for their good, or from teaching them in every way God’s truth (Acts 20:20).

The Holy Spirit lavishes us with grace to expand. Yet we must put aside our old, fearful nature which shrinks from the fear of man. Jesus taught that no one sews a new “unshrunken” cloth onto an old cloth (Mt 9:16), else it would tear loose. We can’t mix our old “shrinking-violet” ways with the Holy Spirit. Nothing good comes from shrinking away. As Job proclaims: “What I fear overtakes me, and what I shrink from comes upon me” (Jb 3:25).

Repent of fear. Be bold and uncompromising in the Spirit (Acts 2:4). Help the Church expand again. “The Spirit God has given us is no cowardly spirit, but rather One that makes us strong” (2 Tm 1:7).

Prayer:  Father, I’m not ashamed of the gospel (Rm 1:16). I’m “proud to profess it in Christ Jesus” (Easter Baptismal Promises).

Promise:  “Eternal life is this: to know You, the only true God, and Him Whom You have sent, Jesus Christ.” —Jn 17:3

Praise:  Pope St. John I helped repair the schism of 482.

Reference:  (This teaching was submitted by a member of our editorial team.)

Rescript:  "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for One Bread, One Body covering the period from April 1,2021 through May 31, 2021 Reverend Steve J. Angi, Chancellor, Vicar General, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio August 5,2020"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for September 16 of 2021 with Proverbs 16 and Psalm 16, accompanied by Psalm 89 for the 89th day of Astronomical Summer and Psalm 109 for day 259 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 16]

[Wisdom Exalts God]

Go ahead and make all the plans you want,

but it’s the Lord who will ultimately direct your steps.

We are all in love with our own opinions,

convinced they’re correct.

But the Lord is in the midst of us,

testing and probing our every motive.

Before you do anything,

put your trust totally in God and not in yourself.

Then every plan you make will succeed.

The Lord works everything together to accomplish his purpose.

Even the wicked are included in his plans—

he sets them aside for the day of disaster.

Yahweh detests all the proud of heart,

for pride attracts his punishment—

and you can count on that!

You can avoid evil through surrendered worship

and the fear of God,

for the power of his faithful love

removes sin’s guilt and grip over you.

When the Lord is pleased with the decisions you’ve made,

he activates grace to turn enemies into friends.

It is better to have little with a heart that loves justice

than to be rich and not have God on your side.

Within your heart you can make plans for your future,

but the Lord chooses the steps you take to get there.

[Living like a King]

A king speaks the revelation of truth,

so he must be extraordinarily careful in the decrees that he makes.

The Lord expects you to be fair in every business deal,

for he is the one who sets the standards for righteousness.

Kings and leaders despise wrongdoing,

for the true authority to rule and reign

is built on a foundation of righteousness.

Kings and leaders love to hear godly counsel,

and they love those who tell them the truth.

The anger of a king releases the messenger of death,

but a wise person will know how to pacify his wrath.

Life-giving light streams from the presence of a king,

and his favor is showered upon those who please him.

Everyone wants gold, but wisdom’s worth is far greater.

Silver is sought after,

but a heart of understanding yields a greater return.

Repenting from evil places you on the highway of holiness.

Protect purity and you protect your life.

Your boast becomes a prophecy of a future failure.

The higher you lift yourself up in pride,

the harder you’ll fall in disgrace.

It’s better to be meek and lowly and live among the poor

than to live high and mighty among the rich and famous.

One skilled in business discovers prosperity,

but the one who trusts in God is blessed beyond belief!

[Walking with Wisdom]

The one with a wise heart is called “discerning,”

and speaking sweetly to others

makes your teaching even more convincing.

Wisdom is a deep well of understanding

opened up within you as a fountain of life for others,

but it’s senseless to try to instruct a fool.

Winsome words pour from a heart of wisdom,

adding value to all you teach.

Nothing is more appealing

than speaking beautiful, life-giving words.

For they release sweetness to our souls

and inner healing to our spirits.

Before every person there is a path

that seems like the right one to take,

but it leads straight to hell!

Life motivation comes from the deep longings of the heart,

and the passion to see them fulfilled urges you onward.

A wicked scoundrel wants to dig up dirt on others,

only to spread slander and shred their reputation.

A twisted person spreads rumors;

a whispering gossip ruins good friendships.

A vicious criminal can be persuasive,

enticing others to join him as partners in crime,

but he leads them all down a despicable path.

It’s easy to tell when a wicked man

is hatching some crooked scheme—

it’s written all over his face.

His looks betray him as he gives birth to his sin.

Old age with wisdom will crown you with dignity and honor,

for it takes a lifetime of righteousness to acquire it.

Do you want to be a mighty warrior?

It’s better to be known as one who is patient and slow to anger.

Do you want to conquer a city?

Rule over your temper before you attempt to rule a city.

We may toss the coin and roll the dice,

but God’s will is greater than luck.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 16 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 16]

The Golden Secret

A precious song, engraved in gold, by David

A prayer of David.

Protect me, God, for the only safety I know is found in the moments I seek You.

I told You, Eternal One, “You are my Lord,

for the only good I know in this world is found in You alone.”

The beauty of faith-filled people encompasses me.

They are true, and my heart is thrilled beyond measure.

All the while the despair of many,

who abandoned Your goodness for the empty promises of false gods, increases day by day.

I refuse to pour out blood offerings,

to utter their names from my lips.

You, Eternal One, are my sustenance and my life-giving cup.

In that cup, You hold my future and my eternal riches.

My home is surrounded in beauty;

You have gifted me with abundance and a rich legacy.

I will bless the Eternal, whose wise teaching orchestrates my days

and centers my mind at night.

He is ever present with me;

at all times He goes before me.

I will not live in fear or abandon my calling

because He stands at my right hand.

This is a good life—my heart is glad, my soul is full of joy,

and my body is at rest.

Who could want for more?

You will not abandon me to experience death and the grave

or leave me to rot alone.

Instead, You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life.

As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending,

and I know true joy and contentment.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 16 (The Voice)

[Psalm 89]

Will You Reject Us Forever?

Poems by Ethan the Ezrahite for instruction

[First Poem – God’s Promises to David]

This forever-song I sing of the gentle love of God!

Young and old alike will hear about

your faithful, steadfast love—never failing!

Here’s my chorus: “Your mercy grows through the ages.

Your faithfulness is firm, rising up to the skies.”

I heard the Lord say, “My covenant has been made,

and I’m committed forever to my chosen one, David.

I have made my oath that there will be sons of David forever,

sons that are kings through every generation.”

Pause in his presence

Can you hear it? Heaven is filled with your praises, O Lord!

All the holy ones are praising you for your miracles.

The sons of God are all praising you for your mighty wonders.

We could search the skies forever and never find one like you.

All the mighty angels could not be compared to you.

You are a God who is greatly to be feared

as you preside over the council of holy ones.

You are surrounded by trembling ones

who are overwhelmed with fear and dread,

stunned as they stand in awe of you!

So awesome are you, O Yahweh, Lord God of Angel Armies!

Where could we find anyone as glorious as you?

Your faithfulness shines all around you!

You rule over oceans and the swelling seas.

When their stormy waves rise, you speak, and they lie still.

You crushed the strongholds of Egypt,

and all your enemies were scattered

at the mighty display of your glory-power.

All the heavens and everything on earth belong to you,

for you are the Creator of all that is seen and unseen.

The four corners of the earth were put in place by you.

You made the majestic mountains

that are still shouting their praises to your name.

Breathtaking and awesome is your power!

Astounding and unbelievable

is your might and strength when it goes on display!

Your glorious throne rests on a foundation

of righteousness and just verdicts.

Grace and truth are the attendants who go before you.

O Lord, how blessed are the people

who know the triumphant shout,

for they walk in the radiance of your presence.

We can do nothing but leap for joy all day long,

for we know who you are and what you do,

and you’ve exalted us on high.

The glory of your splendor is our strength,

and your marvelous favor makes us even stronger,

lifting us even higher!

You are our King, the holiest one of all;

your wraparound presence is our protection.

[Second Poem – God Keeps His Promises]

You spoke to your prophets in visions, saying,

“I have found a mighty hero for my people.

I have chosen David as my loving servant and exalted him.

I have anointed him as king with the oil of my holiness.

I will be strength to him, and I will give him

my grace to sustain him no matter what comes.

None of his enemies will get the best of him,

nor will the wicked one overpower him.

For I will crush his every adversary

and do away with all who hate him.

Because I love him and treasure him,

my faithfulness will always protect him.

I will place my great favor upon him,

and I will cause his power and fame to increase.

I will set his hand over the sea

and his right hand over the rivers.

And he will come before me, saying,

‘You truly are my Father, my only God, and my strong deliverer!’

I am setting him apart, favoring him as my firstborn son.

I will make him the most high king in all the earth!

I will love him forever and always show him kindness.

My covenant with him will never be broken.

For I have decreed that he will always have an heir—

a dynasty that will release the days of heaven on earth.

But if his children turn from me and forsake my words,

refusing to walk in my truth, renouncing and violating my laws,

then I will surely punish them for their sins

with my stern discipline until they regret it.

But I will never, no never, lift my faithful love from off their lives.

My kindness will prevail and I will never disown them.

How could I revoke my covenant of love that I promised David?

For I have given him my word, my holy, irrevocable word.

How could I lie to my loving servant David?

Sons of David will continue to reign on his throne,

and their kingdom will endure as long as the sun is in the sky.

This covenant will be an unbreakable promise that

I have established for all time.”

Pause in his presence

[Third Poem – Why Has Our King Been Defeated?]

Why have you rejected me, the one you anointed?

Why would you cast me away?

Why would you lose your temper with me?

You have torn up the contract you made with me, your servant.

You have stripped away my crown and thrown it to the ground.

You have torn down all my walls of defense

and have made my every hiding place into ruins.

All the passersby attack and rob me while my neighbors mock!

Instead of fighting for me, you take the side of my enemies,

even giving them strength to subdue me,

and then watched them celebrate their victory!

You are no longer helping me in battle.

You’ve forsaken me to the swords of those

who would strike me down.

You’ve made my regal splendor to decrease

and allowed my rule to be overthrown.

Because of you, I’ve become old before my time,

and I’m publicly disgraced!

Pause in his presence

[Fourth Poem – Save Us, God]

How long will you hide your love from me?

Have you left me for good?

How long will your anger continue to burn against me?

Remember, Lord, I am nothing but dust,

here today and so soon blown away.

Is this all you’ve created us for? For nothing but this?

Which one of us will live forever?

We are all mortal, terminal, for we will all one day die.

Which one of us would ever escape our appointment with death

and dodge our own funeral?

Pause in his presence

So God, where is all this love and kindness you promised us?

What happened to your covenant with David?

Have you forgotten how your own servants are being slandered?

Lord God, it seems like I’m carrying in my heart

all the pain and abuse of many people.

They have relentlessly insulted and persecuted us,

your anointed ones.

Nevertheless, blessed be our God forever and ever.

Amen! Faithful is our King!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 89 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 109]

For the worship leader. A song of David.

O True God of my every praise, do not keep silent!

My enemies have opened their wicked, deceit-filled mouths and blown their foul breath on me.

They have slandered me with their twisted tongues

And unleashed loathsome words that swirl around me.

Though I have done nothing, they attack me.

Though I offer them love and keep them in my prayers, they accuse me;

Though I treat them well, they answer me with evil;

though I give them love, they reply with a gesture of hatred.

Here’s what they say: Find some evil scoundrel to go after him.

Let’s get some accuser to level charges against him.

At his trial, let’s make sure he is found guilty

so that even his prayers become evidence that convicts him.

Let his days be few, his life cut short;

let another take over his position.

Lay waste to his family—

let his children become orphans and his wife a widow.

Let his children wander the streets—his legacy, homeless beggars

scavenging for food,

[driven out of] the rubble and slums where they live.

Let the bankers take what is his;

strangers help themselves to what little is left of all he’s earned.

Let there be no one around to offer him compassion,

nor anyone to give his fatherless children warmth or kindness.

Let his family line come to an end—

no future generations to carry on his name!

Let the sins of his fathers be remembered before the Eternal,

and the sins of his mother never be erased.

Let their offenses always be before the Eternal

so that the memory of this family is long forgotten by all the people of the earth,

Because it never occurred to him to show compassion;

instead, he oppressed the poor, afflicted,

and brokenhearted and sent them to their death.

He loved to invoke a curse—so let his curses come back to him.

He preferred not to speak a blessing—so let all blessings be far from him.

He wrapped himself with cursing, draped around him like a cape;

may it flood his body like water

and seep into his bones like oil.

Let those curses wrap around him like a cloak on a cold night,

like a belt tightly knotted around him every day.

Let the Eternal so reward my accusers,

all those who speak and plot evil against me.

But You, my Master, the Eternal,

treat me with kindness for the sake of Your name, the good of Your reputation;

because Your unfailing love is so good, O deliver me!

You see, I am poor and needy,

and my heart is broken inside me.

My life is fading away like a shadow that vanishes in the evening;

I am like a locust easily brushed off the shoulder.

I can barely stand; my knees are weak from not eating;

I am haggard and drawn, just skin and bones.

I have become a person of contempt to my accusers;

whenever they see me, they taunt me, shaking their heads in disapproval.

Help me, Eternal One my God; come to my rescue!

Save me through Your unfailing love.

Let everyone know that You are the source of my salvation

that You, Eternal One, have done this mighty work.

Let them utter a curse, if they will, but You will speak a blessing;

[when they come to attack,] let them know utter shame.

Then Your servant will celebrate and praise You!

Let my enemies be clothed with disgrace and humiliation;

let them be dressed in a robe of their own shame.

I will continually give thanks to the Eternal

with the praises of my mouth;

I will praise Him in the company of many.

For He always stands in support of the afflicted and needy

to rescue their souls from those who judge and condemn them.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 109 (The Voice)

[thehierophage]

April 1, 2021 æ.v. 

Dies Jovii, 

☉︎ 12° ♈︎ : ☽︎ 10° ♐︎ : ♃︎ : Ⅴⅴⅰⅰ 

  Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 

  The Day of Yod, the Day of the Hermit 

  Hebrew Letter: Yod 

  Numerical Value as Letter: 10 

Numerical Value as Word: 20/14 (Yod+Vav+Daleth or Yod+Daleth) 

Meaning: Hand (open, palm, side & fingers) 

  Thoth Card: The Hermit (Atu IX) 

Alternate Title: The Prophet of the Eternal, The Magus of the Voice of Power. Image:

Correspondences: 

Tree of Life Path Association: Key 20 - Tiphareth to Chesed (from Sephira 6-4) 

Astrological Sign: Virgo 

Element: Earth 

Egyptian Godforms: Isis [as Virgin], Heru-pa-Kraath 

Geomantic Figure: Conjunctio 

Gemstones: Peridot 

Perfumes: Narcissus 

Plants: Snowdrop, Lily, Narcissus, Mistletoe 

Animals: Rhinoceros 

Colors: 

King Scale – Green, yellowish 

Queen Scale – Slate grey 

Prince Scale – Green grey 

Princess Scale – Plum colour

The Secret Instruction of the Master:

Wander alone; bearing the Light and thy Staff! And be the Light so bright that no man seeth thee! Be not moved by aught without or within: keep Silence in all ways!

Mnemonic:

Most secret seed of all Life's serpent plan, Virgin, the Hermit goes, dumb Guardian.

Recommended Text for Meditation:

Liber Liberi vel Lapidis Lazuli, Cap. 5

Liber Liberi vel Lapdis Lazuli Adumbratio Kabbalae Aegyptiorum Sub Figura VII

Being the Voluntary Emancipation of a certain Exempt Adept from his Adeptship. These are the Birth-Words of a Master of the Temple. A.˙.A.˙. Publication in Class A. Imprimatur: N. Fra A.˙. A.˙.

V

1. O my beautiful God! I swim in Thy heart like a trout in the mountain torrent. 

2. I leap from pool to pool in my joy; I am goodly with brown and gold and silver. 

3. Why, I am lovelier than the russet autumn woods at the first snowfall. 

4. And the crystal cave of my thought is lovelier than I. 

5. Only one fish-hook can draw me out; it is a woman kneeling by the bank of the stream. It is she that pours the bright dew over herself, and into the sand so that the river gushes forth. 

6. There is a bird on yonder myrtle; only the song of that bird can draw me out of the pool of Thy heart, O my God! 

7. Who is this Neapolitan boy that laughs in his happiness? His lover is the mighty crater of the Mountain of Fire. I saw his charred limbs borne down the slopes in a stealthy tongue of liquid stone. 

8. And Oh! the chirp of the cicada! 

9. I remember the days when I was cacique in Mexico. 

10. O my God, wast Thou then as now my beautiful lover? 

11. Was my boyhood then as now Thy toy, Thy joy? 

12. Verily, I remember those iron days. 

13. I remember how we drenched the bitter lakes with our torrent of gold; how we sank the treasurable image in the crater of Citlaltepetl. 

14. How the good flame lifted us even unto the lowlands, setting us down in the impenetrable forest. 

15. Yea, Thou wast a strange scarlet bird with a bill of gold. I was Thy mate in the forests of the lowland; and ever we heard from afar the shrill chant of mutilated priests and the insane clamour of the Sacrifice of Maidens. 

16. There was a weird winged God that told us of his wisdom. 

17. We attained to be starry grains of gold dust in the sands of a slow river. 

18. Yea, and that river was the river of space and time also. 

19. We parted thence; ever to the smaller, ever to the greater, until now, O sweet God, we are ourselves, the same. 

20. O God of mine, Thou art like a little white goat with lightning in his horns! 

21. I love Thee, I love Thee. 

22. Every breath, every word, every thought, every deed is an act of love with Thee. 

23. The beat of my heart is the pendulum of love. 

24. The songs of me are the soft sighs: 

25. The thoughts of me are very rapture: 

26. And my deeds are the myriads of Thy children, the stars and the atoms. 

27. Let there be nothing! 

28. Let all things drop into this ocean of love! 

29. Be this devotion a potent spell to exorcise the demons of the Five! 

30. Ah God, all is gone! Thou dost consummate Thy rapture. Falutli! Falutli! 

31. There is a solemnity of the silence. There is no more voice at all. 

32. So shall it be unto the end. We who were dust shall never fall away into the dust. 

33. So shall it be. 

34. Then, O my God, the breath of the Garden of Spices. All these have a savour averse. 

35. The cone is cut with an infinite ray; the curve of hyperbolic life springs into being. 

36. Farther and farther we float; yet we are still. It is the chain of systems that is falling away from us. 

37. First falls the silly world; the world of the old grey land. 

38. Falls it unthinkably far, with its sorrowful bearded face presiding over it; it fades to silence and woe. 

39. We to silence and bliss, and the face is the laughing face of Eros. 

40. Smiling we greet him with the secret signs. 

41. He leads us into the Inverted Palace. 

42. There is the Heart of Blood, a pyramid reaching its apex down beyond the Wrong of the Beginning. 

43. Bury me unto Thy Glory, O beloved, O princely lover of this harlot maiden, within the Secretest Chamber of the Palace! 

44. It is done quickly; yea, the seal is set upon the vault. 

45. There is one that shall avail to open it. 

46. Nor by memory, nor by imagination, nor by prayer, nor by fasting, nor by scourging, nor by drugs, nor by ritual, nor by meditation; only by passive love shall he avail. 

47. He shall await the sword of the Beloved and bare his throat for the stroke. 

48. Then shall his blood leap out and write me runes in the sky; yea, write me runes in the sky.

Love is the law, love under will.

[bibleteachingbyolga]

“God has not forgotten you.”

As I heard those words, I was flooded with emotion. I hadn’t realized how much I needed them. As tears streamed down my face, I understood how lonely and forgotten I had been feeling.

I was in the darkest time of my life. My husband had left our family, my body was deteriorating, and I was parenting two angry adolescent daughters who wanted nothing to do with “my” God. I felt unnoticed.

But somehow, knowing that God had not forgotten me stirred me to press into him with renewed hope. Those simple words turned my mind and helped me focus on the truths that I needed to remember. That the Lord was with me and would sustain me through this trial. That God was using my suffering to accomplish something far greater than I could see or understand. And that my pain wouldn’t last any longer than was absolutely necessary.

Those truths grounded me. And those three assurances are still what ground me today.

1. God will be with me.

The assurance that God is with us is the most precious gift we have in suffering.

Of course, as Christians we know that God is always with us and that there is nowhere we can flee from his presence (Psalm 139:7–8), but actually sensing God’s presence and comfort is different. It has given me joy when I was discouraged (Psalm 16:11), refreshed me when I was weary (Acts 3:20), and taken away my fear when I was in deep waters (Isaiah 43:2). God’s presence has been more evident to me in suffering than at any other time, making it a priceless treasure of darkness (Isaiah 45:3).

In Psalm 23, David begins by talking about God and his tender care, saying, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want” (Psalm 23:1). But when he moves into a place of danger and suffering, he shifts from talking about God to talking directly to him. He says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23:4). There is a nearness, a personalness to God that David immediately feels in trouble.

The incomparable presence of God in our pain underscores that a day with him in trial is better than a thousand pain-free days elsewhere.

2. God has a good purpose for my suffering.

If my suffering were meaningless, I couldn’t have withstood it. I would have felt crushed, bitter, ripped off, full of regret and doubt, wondering whether my bad decision, or someone else’s, had kept me from the successful life I’d longed for. Life would have felt unfair and even cruel.

But thankfully, I know that the opposite is true — my suffering has been entrusted to me by God, and he is using every drop of it to fulfill his good purposes for me. It is full of meaning and will not be wasted, even if all I can see in the moment is my loss. By faith, I believe that God has a reason and purpose for my pain — perhaps thousands of reasons — and they are all for my good, regardless of what it looks or feels like on the surface (Romans 8:28; Genesis 50:20). While I may not see or understand any of them, I know that the Lord would never make me suffer unnecessarily. Now I see in a mirror dimly. I understand in part. But one day I will see face to face and understand fully (1 Corinthians 13:12).

The men and women in the Bible couldn’t see how God was using their lives and their struggles either. They lived day to day, as we do, disappointed, waiting, and wondering why their lives were so hard. Yet God used their pain for something more glorious than they could have imagined.

And so it is with us. We must trust that God is using our suffering for something greater than we can see now. Our suffering is accomplishing something eternal, preparing for us a weight of glory that is beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17). As with Joseph, our trials may be for the saving of many lives (Genesis 50:20), which we may see fully only in heaven. But we can be certain that, as Joni Eareckson Tada says, “We’ll thank God endlessly in heaven for the trials he sent us here.”

3. My pain will end one day.

No matter what pain we are going through, if we are in Christ, we are assured that it won’t last forever. Our suffering is “momentary” and “for a little while” as we consider and experience it in light of eternity. God will make all things new; we have endless and painless joy awaiting us in heaven.

But heaven may feel like little comfort as days of pain on earth stretch into months and even years. All of us want deliverance in this life, and many of us will see it. Nothing is beyond God’s ability to redeem. He gives life to the dead and calls into existence things that do not exist (Romans 4:17). He knows exactly how long our pain will last, and he will give us everything we need as we wait. Nothing is too hard for him (Jeremiah 32:17). We can only live one chapter of our lives at a time, and none of us knows exactly what the next chapter will bring. Tomorrow may bring redemption beyond our wildest dreams, as Naomi, Joseph, and Job experienced. Or perhaps just a needed break from our pain and suffering. We may soon look back at today’s trials and marvel at God’s faithful hand in them.

But not all of us will be able to speak of pain in the past tense. Some of us won’t experience reprieve in this life. We will die from wasting disease. Feel the lifelong pain of acute loss. Live amid broken dreams. Agonize, wondering how our loved ones will manage. Struggle with debilitating physical and mental illness. We may never see the fulfillment of all we felt certain God would do. Like the saints throughout Scripture, who didn’t see God’s promises realized in their lifetime, we will have to trust that God has something better in store for us (Hebrews 11:13–16). A glorious inheritance. Untold riches. Crowns of glory. Pleasures forevermore. If we are his, our pain will most surely and completely end.

God Has Not Forgotten You

God has all of eternity to lavish his kindness on us (Ephesians 2:7). As he has promised, “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9). And I am convinced that the less earthly pleasure and reward we have received, the greater our pleasure and reward will be in heaven.

If you are struggling today, remember God has not forgotten you. He has engraved you on the palms of his hands (Isaiah 49:15–16). He will never fail you or forsake you. He will walk with you through every dark valley. The God who has numbered every hair on your head and knows every sparrow that falls to the ground is aware of every detail of your situation. He is using your suffering and pain in ways you would not believe if someone told you.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10)

[hemakesallthingsbeautiful]

Reflections on Lament- Seminary Writings / April 2021

I believe lament is a spiritual discipline that is crucial to our spiritual formation as believers, and yet is often overlooked or dismissed in Christian communities. Though the majority of Psalms are laments, I think more often than not, we gravitate towards the Psalms of praises and thanksgiving and often forget to mourn before we dance by rushing into joy before we've wept. (Psalm 30)

But in the absence of teachings on how to lament well and a community to lament alongside us, to lead us into postures of lament when we witness the injustice and suffering in one another's lives and beyond that- in our communities, the nation, and the world at large; will we have the courage, boldness, and spiritual guidance to do so?

I was really moved by Balentine's piece on "Inside the Silence of the Sanctuary" where he beautifully writes:

"when we limp toward the sanctuary with bruises and wounds exceeding any sin we may have committed, no one will block our entrance by saying, "No protesters allowed beyond this point." By the same token, we likely feel more authentically human, more empowered to meet the moral and ethical demands of life, when we can cry aloud to the heavens-inside the sanctuary-for justice. Given the tragic sense that defines so much of life in this world, "the chiefest sanctity of a temple," as M. de Unamuno says, "is that it is a place to which men go to weep in common. A miserere sung in common by a multitude tormented by destiny has as much value as a philosophy," or, I would add, as any theology.38 Such are the moral demands of innocent suffering on the rituals of worship." (Balentine, 71)

My prayer is that we as believers and the church, become the kind of people who are singing and crying out laments in the sanctuary alongside and with those who are hurting and suffering and for those who are experiencing horrific injustices and pain. Across the spectrum of emotions God has given us the capacity to express, I think emotions of mourning, grief and sorrow (especially when it is expressed for the suffering and injustice of our neighbours) reflect two very important truths: firstly, our capability for compassion and empathy for our fellow brethren which as believers I trust is grounded in our recognition that they are God's beloved and made in the image of the creator; and secondly, our recognition that something is not as it should be; that humanity's fallenness has brought forth a particular circumstance, situation and reality which is broken and not yet redeemed. Thus, I believe their lament can be a form of worship too- as we learn to respond and rest in the unwavering truth of God's goodness and sovereignty while humbly advocating for the very redemption and restoration that we know God will bring forth one day for the individual, the community, the nation, and the world who is suffering, experiencing injustice and enduring hardship.

I believe that as we develop greater boldness in our ability to lament with hope for the restoration that is to come, that this hope empowers us into tangible acts of intercession and prayer for those we are lamenting for; and from prayer and intercession to meaningful action. Personally, as I lament the humanitarian crisis in Myanmar and the hundreds of lives, including many children that have been taken due to the abuse of power in the nation, the endless number of people who are fleeing and seeking asylum; as I lament the violence and hatred that is arising against the Asian American community in the U.S., as I lament the financial, emotional, and physical hardship that is being faced by the vulnerable due to the pandemic; I am becoming more aware that God is not simply asking me to stay in the sanctuary; but to live out the second commandment "Love your neighbour as yourself" through a commitment of love, sacrifice, and generosity.

[seekfirstme]

The following reflection is courtesy of Don Schwager © 2021. Don's website is located at Dailyscripture.net

Meditation: Do you know the joy of selfless giving and generous love for others? True love doesn't calculate - it spends lavishly! Jesus drove this point home to his disciples while sitting in the temple and observing people offering their tithes. Jesus praised a poor widow who gave the smallest of coins in contrast with the rich who gave greater sums. How can someone in poverty give more than someone who has ample means? Jesus' answer is very simple - love is more precious than gold or wealth!

Love grows with gratitude and generous giving

Jesus taught that real giving must come from the heart. A gift that is given with a grudge or for display loses its value. But a gift given out of love, with a spirit of generosity and sacrifice, is precious. The amount or size of the gift doesn't matter as much as the cost to the giver. The poor widow could have kept one of her coins, but instead she recklessly gave away all she had! Jesus praised someone who gave barely a penny - how insignificant a sum - because it was everything she had, her whole living.

Nothing given in love is worthless

What we have to offer may look very small and not worth much, but if we put all we have at the Lord's disposal, no matter how insignificant it may seem, then God can do with it and with us what is beyond our reckoning. Do you give out of love and gratitude for what God has already given to you?

"Lord Jesus, your love knows no bounds and you give without measure. All that I have comes from you. May I give freely and generously in gratitude for all that you have given to me. Take my life and all that I possess - my gifts, talents, time and resources - and use them as you see fit for your glory."

The following reflection is from One Bread, One Body courtesy of Presentation Ministries © 2021.

the ten-day training diet

“They entered the King’s service.” —Daniel 1:19

Yesterday, the Church celebrated the Solemnity of Christ the King. Today, we read about the four Jewish young men who trained three years to enter the service of the King of Babylon (see Dn 1:5). Likewise, Jesus trained His twelve apostles, 72 disciples, and other followers for a period of three years. Many of us trained for our profession in school for twelve years, and in college for at least another four years. How much time are we spending to train to serve Christ the King?

Can you devote three years to train to serve the greatest King, Jesus Christ? To do this training, we need to change our diet, much like Daniel, Mishael, Hananiah, and Azariah (Dn 1:12). They ate only vegetables consistent with the Jewish diet, and gave up all other foods. The best addition to our training diet is  “a daily portion of food and wine from the royal table” (Dn 1:5), that is, Bread and Wine from Heaven, the Holy Eucharist (see Jn 6:55-56). 

Can you do the same ten-day test (Dn 1:14-15) as these four young men? Attend Daily Mass for ten consecutive days. After ten days of a new training diet, Daniel, Mishael, Hananiah, and Azariah “looked healthier and better fed” than anyone around them (Dn 1:15). Give up any gluttony and devotion to the foods of the world, and allow the Eucharist to have its holy and transforming effect in your life.

Prayer:  Father, give me the desire to change anything in my life to train to serve King Jesus.

Promise:  “I assure you, this poor widow has put in more than all the rest.” —Lk 21:3

Praise:  Pious tradition tells us St. Cecilia courageously faced her martyrdom. She is the patron of musicians. “Sing to Him, sing His praise, proclaim all His wondrous deeds” (Ps 105:2).

Reference:  (This teaching was submitted by a member of our editorial team.)

Rescript:  "In accord with the Code of Canon Law, I hereby grant the Nihil Obstat for the publication One Bread, One Body covering the time period from October 1, 2021 through November 30, 2021. Reverend Steve J. Angi, Vicar General, Chancellor, Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Cincinnati, Ohio April 14, 2021"

The Nihil Obstat ("Permission to Publish") is a declaration that a book or pamphlet is considered to be free of doctrinal or moral error. It is not implied that those who have granted the Nihil Obstat agree with the contents, opinions, or statements