#me making my little S5 fanfiction LOL

[conflictofthemind]

Here’s my little narrative about the kids here and the start of Season 5:

I think Season 5 is going to start each one of them on a low note over something they’ve all lost. Even though time has passed, they’re struggling to move on and nothing much has changed. They’re stuck.

Max is in a coma. Lucas can’t think about anything else and though other people are starting to give up hope, he can’t leave her bedside.

Dustin has just lost Eddie, and the town is trying to defame him and this guy he looked up to as Satan worshippers and monsters. He visits his grave often.

Mike’s relationship with El has grown distant, if not overtly broken down (up?). She is back in hiding and they’re not communicating much at all anymore.

El has multiple things going on; she’s just failed to save her best friend and defeat Vecna. She thinks everyone must be disappointed in her, including her now ex-boyfriend Mike.

We have less to go on with Will with no BTS, but he is likely still unable to move on from his romantic attachment to Mike and the continued mourning of their childhood years. He’s also dealing his connection to Vecna.

I think this is the moment they finally come together as a party again and agree to emotionally support each other through all of this. They admit they’ve all been distant and focused on their own lives instead of working as a team. Teamwork will play an important part this season. I also think since El isn’t included here, that the leaked talk between her and Mike is basically a similar conversation between the two of them.

[galvanizedfriend]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @kirythestitchwitch and @morningstargirl666 🤗

How many works do you have on ao3? 22! But I think I currently have two or three fics that are private because I keep meaning to rewrite and never get around to it.

What's your total ao3 word count? 1.617.205 😗

What fandoms do you write for? Currently only The Vampire Diaries/The Originals.

Top five fics by kudos: The Wolf (surprising no one, The Originals S1 rewriting), The Wolf II (surprising no one², The Originals S2 rewriting), Vice & Virtue (very surprising this has more kudos than TWIII lol, regency AU), The Wolf III (The Originals S3 and 4 rewriting) and The Sound of Settling (that time I committed coffee shop!AU).

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to always keep up with comments, but I get a little behind from time to time, especially with comments left on older fics. Sorry, folks 🥲 With WIPS, I tend to always reply to comments right before or immediately posting a new chapter.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Pendulum, for sure. The alternative ending is pure angst (and I love it very much, there's so much meaning and to me it's a perfect ending for that story).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All the others lol All my fics have a happy ending, Pendulum is an exception.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore, though I did recently get a bitter anon here on tumblr. But yeah, I've received a lot of hate over the years.

Do you write smut? Occasionally, when I feel like the story asks for a smutty scene, but more often than not I go with the classic fade to black.

Craziest crossover: I've never written crossovers, though I have written lots of AUs inspired by other things (I forgot what those are called now).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, I have. A while back this nutjob stole a bunch of fics and published them as originals on Amazon and The Wolf was among them. I got lots of comments from people warning me about it and I managed to get it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have! To Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not, though it's a fun idea.

All time favorite ship? My favorite ship is always the current one and I've been stuck on Klaroline for a few years now. Those two idiots in love have my whole heart.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have so many. 🥲 I really wanted to give the TVD S5 rewrite a chance, but really don't think I have it in me to start something like that again.

What are your writing strengths? Oh boy. I suck at paying myself a compliment. But I've heard I write good action scenes? I don't know if it's true. Personally, I think I do a decent job of writing AUs, as in adapting canon aspects to other universes. I don't just plaster names on characters, I try very hard to make sure everything is still recognizable even in a totally different setting (then again, that's very subjective 😂).

What are your writing weaknesses? Wordiness. I am so freaking wordy, my stories are so goddamn long. I wish I could simplify my writing, shorten sentences, but alas. I have these ideas for writing exercises I would like to try with a couple of ideas I have, but I need to finish the ones I have started before I can jump into something else.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it's single words or short sentences, it's ok. I kinda like it even, but when it's full dialogues in languages I don't understand, it kind of loses me.

First fandom you wrote in? I think I wrote some semblance of fic when I was like 12 for Charmed, though I didn't even know that was fanfiction. But the first conscious fic I ever wrote was for Torchwood.

Favorite fic you've written? Pendulum. I think it's the most original and profound (lol) thing I ever wrote, it expresses many aspects of how I feel about KC. But I also really, really like The Unexpected Grace of Falling Apart. I LOVE romcoms and I think that story is everything I love in that genre, without being completely silly (in my opinion, ofc). Those two fics couldn't be more different if I wanted to, but one thing they have in common is the fact I spent years working on them.

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @howlingmoonrise, @misssophiachase, @jinxedwood, @bettsfic, @bellemorte180, @marginally-accurate, @b-mina and @austennerdita2533!

[call-jupiter]

committing myself to attempting a chapter in the form of a true-crime doc for The Sycamore Tree lmfao should be fun but we’ll have to see how it goes. I like challenging myself and trying my hand at a variety of writing styles and this fic being my first rookie fic AND being as long and as… involved… as it is makes it a good sandbox for some experimentation. might scrap it if it pisses me off but the attempt will be made. I already know exactly what ground it’s gonna cover and everything so I’m looking forward to putting those chapters in proper writing (not just an outline) so I can really get to work on this one knowing fully how the relevant chapters before it panned out. it’s planned and all but I need to actually finish the chapters first bc I’m not… always great at following my own outlines. lol.

since I’ve been trying to flesh it out with subplots and side action and new characters and bottle chapters and things my outline has come out feeling structured very much like a season of television. so I thought it’d be cool to try and take one of the show’s unique episode formats and incorporate it in. turning Sycamore into something of like a… what-if for s5 on the whole rather than just a canon divergence that happens to start in s5? like I want it to be Large Scale. if my readers and I are committing to 40 chapters that range from 7-10k words each, I might as well use that space to its full potential.

I’m rambling. but what y’all are gonna learn about me the more and more active I get in the fanfic scene for this show is that there’s nothing I love more than using my socmed platforms to pontificate my little fic ideas instead of making private notes. do it on my twt all the time for bbc merlin bc that’s the place I promo those works. tumblr’s become a bit of a home base for my rookie content (which is just Sycamore rn but hopefully more in the future since I’m enjoying creating this one so much). that means these random little musings about potential fics or directions for those wips are mostly gonna land here. feel free to ignore them. or, hell, if I post some off-hand concept that you like go ahead and lift it for your own works. I think that’s why I like making notes this way tbh bc then if an idea is dead-on-arrival for me it could theoretically find life in the hands of another writer who came across it. like paying it forward or whatever but in fic prompts. inspiring myself and hopefully other writers in the process—since I know coming up w an idea is half the battle. might be a bit presumptuous but it’s like if I do it this way maybe I can make that part a bit easier on my future self or on someone else. idk.

anyway. love y’all a lot. like a lot a lot. the support is still mind-blowing to me. I don’t think I’ll ever quite wrap my head around it. very surreal. so hopefully you can bear w me and my aimless posts like this and my writing experiments that may or may not succeed. I’m so proud of this work so far but it’s such new territory for me and it really feels like it’s asking a lot of the audience to stick w it since it’s… so much. like I want the diversions from the main arc to feel natural and engaging. it’s difficult tho bc I’m not a professional or whatever. I’m not even someone w an english/writing/literature background or something. I’m just a pharmacology student writing some silly little fanfiction in my spare time.

what I mean to say is that I’m trying my damnedest to make it worth your time to read it all. even the parts that aren’t chenford or aren’t connected to the main plot. like they’re there bc I feel like it adds to the experience not bc I’m trying to pad the length. and ik that in my mind but sometimes I see the current word count or my projections for the final word count based on the average of the finished chapters and I question how it comes off. like I worry a bit that adding stuff like that could seem superfluous even tho it’s not my intention. I don’t want Sycamore to be long for the sake of being long. I want it to be long so it can feel like a whole universe. like a highly fictionalized thing still grounded somewhat in reality. not just a one-track story to get characters straight from point A to point B. you know?

idk what I’m saying anymore but. it all makes sense in my head. I just have so many thoughts about this work and I’m also just so excited to write it and publish it and let you see it but it’s very slow-going bc I want it to be as good as possible.

anyway. weird little draft note thing over. there was a point to this somewhere but I definitely lost it midway. lmfao. this is what happens when I forget to take my adhd meds and can’t focus enough to actually write but still want to feel like I’m making progress. whoops.

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Yesterday I introduced you guys to the Hyde family, and now it’s time to introduce you to the new generation of the Forman family!

Again, click on the thingy if you want to know more about them!

On the top row, we see Eric and Donna, and on the bottom row, we see their two children, Lucas and Hannah (there’s no hearing aid option on picrew so just imagine Hannah’s wearing one, okay?).

Eric and Donna have overall a nice marriage. I tend not to focus much on them in my stories mostly because I’m indifferent to their relationship. After s5 I completely lost interest in them, and there was a point where I didn’t even want them to end up together anymore on s7. But I do believe that they love each other and that they can end up together if given a nice storyline, which is what I tried to do.

TSG is mostly focused on Jackie and Hyde, so we don’t get a lot of details about Donna and Eric other than they’re together, married, and have children, so I’m going to give you guys a brief summary of what happened between them after the season finale.

Eric and Donna talked about everything when he came back for the New Year’s, and they decided to try again. Eric went back to Africa to finish the program, and Donna went to college. When Eric came back, he went to the same college as she did and they started living together. Donna became a journalist, Eric became a teacher, and they moved back to Point Place when they graduated.

As soon as they moved back, Donna got pregnant with Lucas. They lived in a small apartment for a while, until Lucas started running around everywhere and they bought a house across the street from Jackie and Hyde.

They did not plan on having other children until Lucas was older, but well... Accidents happen and Donna had Hannah in 1987, when Lucas was 3 years old.

About their children... they are something else, I love them so much.

Lucas, just like Dylan, has a lot of pent-up energy, but he’s also an introvert and not a prankster at all, so he uses most of his energy in sports (for Red’s delight lol). He’s really into hockey, like, really into it, and he starts taking hockey lessons from a young age.

When he’s older, Lucas joins the school’s track and field team, mostly because there’s no hockey team in Point Place High and he absolutely hates football and wrestling.

Lucas is a bulky guy, but he’s also geeky and he and his father are addicted to video games. They spend countless hours every week playing Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros on his Nintendo 64 (Eric loses every single time lol).

He’s smart, not only is he great with numbers, but he’s also great at chess. Seriously, he won countless chess matches against his uncle Hyde (who’s half-proud and half-bitter about it), and he was like, 10.

His dream job is to be a video game developer, and considering how he’s a math whiz and how he’s a great athlete, he gets a scholarship to study computer science at college.

He never gets into trouble, mostly because people are smart enough not to fuck with him. He’s quiet and not prone to violence at all, but he’s also huge and he could probably kill someone if he wanted to.

When Lucas graduates from high school and goes to college, some bullies start to mess with his little sister Hannah, but Dylan quickly puts an end to that.

Hannah is a sweetheart, she’s an animal lover and she’s probably the sweetest person from the series.

Oh, and Hannah is also hearing impaired.

One of the things that bother me a lot in the fanfiction world (actually in the whole entertainment industry), is the lack of representativity of people with disabilities. I live with people who have disabilities, it’s something I literally see every day, and sometimes I am genuinely shocked by the lack of information (and empathy) people have when it comes to that subject.

So I decided I wanted to include a person with a disability in my story, and I am going to make you guys love her.

Hannah was born healthy, she learned how to talk and she listened to things normally up until she was 5. But as she grew older, she started developing some behaviors that concerned Eric and Donna, like watching the TV too loud and not replying to them when they called her. They took her to the doctor, they found out she had severe hearing loss and would need to use a hearing aid probably for the rest of her life.

Eric and Donna were crushed (it even causes some problems in their marriage in the future), but Hannah never cared much about it, because she was too young and she could hear just fine whenever she had her hearing aids on. She’s overall a happy kid who loves playing outside and is completely in love with everything related to nature.

The Forman family has three cats, all of them were cats that Hannah rescued from the streets and begged them to adopt. Hannah’s also responsible for bringing Zeppelin into the Hyde’s lives.

She was playing outside with Dylan and Jordan when they found a cute little black puppy all alone, searching for food in the garbage. Hannah took the puppy and begged for her parents to keep him, but they already had three cats and they couldn’t keep him. Jackie and Hyde were in the same room when she arrived with the cute little puppy, and they decided to adopt him (for Hannah’s delight). The puppy was named Zeppelin (Hyde was the one who named him, by the way), and Hannah visits the Hyde’s almost every day just to play with their dog.

Hannah loves picnics and walks at the park, she loves watching the trees changing according to the seasons, she loves to stargaze with her aunt Jackie, she loves hearing Layla’s romantic stories, she loves babysitting the younger kids, and she loves spending time with her grandma Kitty, learning how to bake and how to sew.

When she grows older, Hannah becomes a vet and opens her own animal shelter.

Hannah never let her disability stop her, she’s incredible.

And again, I got way too excited, sorry.

If you have any questions about this universe please don’t hesitate on sending them to me.

Posting the Kelso’s picrews soon :)

[sapphic-luthor]

wow thx for your tags for the Alex gif post. I've kinda wondered why I've sorta lost touch with Alex as a character when before I saw myself in her & she was a comfort character for me but now I realize it's because of the inconsistent writing and her just not being that gay lmao. but like, it's so so much harder for me to connect with female characters who aren't queer and so for Alex to lose that aspect, those ... (part 1 bc if I don't rant to strangers on the internet at 4 am who even am I)

relatable (at least, to me) feelings and experiences (that "culture" of ours, I guess), made her seem out of reach. It's very hard for me to connect with her. I guess she just seems kind of.. surface level right now. Do yeah anyway thanks for the tags you made me have a revelation. I guess I should read some fanfiction to satisfy my need for Alex to have comprehensible emotions again :/ (okey dokey now I'm done-- this is the longest ask I've ever sent lol)

no i feel very much the same way! even before alex came out, i really really adored her as a character. she was kind of rough around the edges, she didn’t know how to admit when she was wrong, she had a lot of anger and family shit she wasn’t handling well—- she was so interesting! she was kind of cocky and very committed to being good at her job, she had a hilarious and lovely relationship with winn, and she was so, so, fiercely loyal. like she and kara argued in some really character-constructive and entertaining ways and she for sure had some issues around measuring up to a superhero (that red!k episode was fucking amazing for that), but at the end of the day she’d walk straight into hell and fight the devil himself if it meant keeping kara safe, and i fell in love with that and how she straddled the line of hero and anti-hero with such conviction.

and then she came out!!! and it was so so so incredible!! the storyline was gorgeous and her realisation process was so relatable and seeing that same woman melt into a soft little puddle as she navigated her feelings for maggie was so goddamn satisfying because she had so many sides to her and none of them detracted from the character we already knew and loved and that people could really see themselves in!! and then… something happened. i don’t know exactly when, but we lost all of alex’s personality somewhere along the way to season 5. a huge part of this is, i think, that the show really fucking worked when it orbited around kara and alex’s relationship with each other, but they introduced so many other important characters that they just replaced alex with the new ones, rather than weaving them all together and letting them interplay.

like it doesn’t escape me that the cw was praised for making one of their leads a lesbian, but they basically walked back the risk of that by slowly fading alex into the background as a character in late s4 and s5. like? she’s one of the top billed still, sure, but is she even really a lead anymore? she has so little agency now; they tossed a girlfriend her way and then basically relegated her to a sounding board for kara’s plotlines to all bounce off of. so on paper alex is “””good rep””” i guess because she’s an out lesbian with a girlfriend, but many many gay viewers have felt that massive disconnect that you’re describing, and it makes me super sad.

[citrinekay]

What are you predictions for season 3, and what would you like to see happen? Anything particular in terms of Holden and Bills character development?

Oh, good question! I’ll try to answer this as to what I *realistically* want to happen, not what my fanfiction brain wants lol

Predictions: 

The big question mark at the end of S2 is obviously Bill and Nancy’s relationship. I don’t see them reconciling, and I find it far more interesting for them to follow just how a divorce would affect Bill personally and also Brian’s future. I’m sure everything with Brian’s situation would complicate a divorce and custody agreements. I’d also just like to see more development of Brian in general since he represents that foundational aspect of the show which is nature vs. nurture. Are killers born or made? And at what point in a person’s development can an intervention be made to stop them from progressing into something worse? I think him being taken out of that nuclear family environment and thrown into the emotional instability of his parents separating would really increase that pressure. At the same time, this might be a wake-up call for Bill. He might not be able to save his marriage, but it might persuade him to try harder to be a better/ more involved father to Brian. (Not that he doesn’t already love his son, but he openly admits to Nancy in 1x7 that he has trouble connecting emotionally to Brian.)

As far as the BSU is concerned, I think they were really angling towards bringing Jim Barney into the team in S2 so I would love to see more of him! There’s a whole chapter in the Mindhunter book about Agent Jud Ray (who I believe Jim is based on) and how he was one of the first black agent in the department. Wendy’s initial conclusion about his race interfering with the study was obviously proven wrong in the Pierce interview when Jim makes more headway in the conversation than Holden. Atlanta was the big case that really launched the BSU in real life as well, and I imagine they will be much busier between interviews and requests for consults so they’ll need additional help in S3 to keep on track with the study! 

Cases I’d like to see them work on the show: The Trailside Killer (irl, John Douglas predicted that the killer would have a severe stutter! That chapter of the Mindhunter book was so fascinating to me because he explains how he got to that conclusion and makes it sound very simple when in reality it takes someone who is extremely skilled at studying behavior to predict such a thing. I can just imagine Holden laying that out in his profile and all the locals going 😮😮😮) Robert Hansen (he abducted prostitutes in Alaska, took them out into the wilderness, and hunted them like wild game with a rifle. The police actually got his name from a victim who survived and it turned into more of a cat-and-mouse game to actually prove he was the real killer rather than a whodunit!)  Larry Gene Bell (he killed a young woman named Shari Faye Smith and then proceeded to call her family and torment them for days before revealing that she really was dead.) These are all detailed in the Mindhunter book, which I totally recommend if you like the show and are interested in the psychology of profiling. I would also love to see them at some point get into the Green River Killer, but I think that would come later perhaps in a possible S4 or S5. That was the case during which John Douglas fell ill with encephalitis that nearly killed him and almost ended his career with the FBI. I can see them leading in that direction with Holden’s panic attacks and his disillusionment with his own beliefs/techniques, but I think a gradual build-up towards something so drastic would make it even more interesting!

As far as character development is concerned:

Holden: For him to question his techniques! We see the parallel of the dirty shirtsleeve in the end of 2x9 that hearkens back to 1x1 in which he’s questioning their procedures so I think it’s a natural conclusion that he might be wondering whether he is doing the right things or following the right logic. I would also like for them to go more into the panic disorder storyline (which they completely dropped after like 2x3 😐) Another moment I found interesting from the Mindhunter book was that Douglas was both censured and given a commendation within months of each other for different things that happened with the Atlanta case. He admitted it made him question his role within the FBI and whether or not they actually valued his work - a point which comes up again later with the Green River Killer and his encephalitis. Basically, he was so overworked (almost 150 cases at one time) that he was stressed out to the point of illness. Holden started out with that “blue flamer” mentality and I would love to see that broken down and turned on it’s head a bit. Of course, it goes without saying that I want him and Bill to fix their relationship and be close friends again. I know them arguing is good for tension and drama, but I miss the days when they shared good-natured banter and worked together seamlessly 😞

Bill: like I mentioned above, his family situation is going to be a trial by fire. He’s been married for a long time, and says that he doesn’t know what he would do without Nancy. How would he work through the divorce? How would he adjust to bachelor life? How would the stress of that situation affect him in his work? I can see a lot of repressed feelings, anger, and sadness in his future :( He isn’t one to talk about his personal issues at work or complain when it’s becoming too much. I would love to see his friendship with Wendy continue to be a lifeline to him during a difficult period. And obviously, for him to repair his relationship with Holden. 

Wendy: For her to get back with Kay!!! She’s such a pro at studying human behavior, but Kay was right in the break-up scene - Wendy’s issue was with herself, not Kay. She judged Kay for the kind of person she has to be to her ex and her son, but is also keeping her identity as a lesbian separate from her work. She needs to work on herself a little bit before she can revisit that relationship. Even though she was out in Boston, I think she still has issues with her sexual identity that she needs to resolve and find peace with. I’d also like to get more backstory on her. We know virtually nothing about her aside from her past in Boston. It would be pretty cool to see her back in interviews, too. I’m not sure if Ted would be down with that or how it would happen, but I loved the two interviews we got with her. She’s so brilliant, I want to see her in action more often 💕

aughh sorry this got so long!! lol I could literally go on forever, but I’ll stop right here. Thanks for the ask 💕

[dracimexidae]

@lives-ruined-and-bloodshed replied to your post “@lives-ruined-and-bloodshed mentioned you on a post “You wanna try and...”

Yeah, I think May would definitely win in a real fight but I think they have so much fun just sparring, they know each other so well and probably sparred plenty of times so they know most of each other's moves and well, it's just really hot to imagine them going at it lol of course AoS couldn't give us that. We even saw Coulson fighting but ofc not with May, that would be giving too much to the shippers.

OF COURSE RIGHT, GOD FORBID THEY GIVE US EVEN JUST A FLICKER OF CONTENTMENT LMAO, WHO CARES ABOUT THE FANS ANYWAY... Sorry for the capslock, but I couldn’t express this any other way than shouting it because I’ll always be annoyed by this! Yeah, they don’t owe us anything, they should be able to tell the story they want without feeling obliged to indulge in the fan-service, bla bla bla, don’t care, I’ll stay pissed off, I’m sure the writers won’t mind, and at this point it’s the level of resigned annoyance that doesn’t ruin my day, so I can stay “fueled” without feeling miserable about it like I was some time ago, when I was more invested (not that I’m not invested in the ship now, but I made peace with the fact that I won’t get the satisfaction - and there is no “compliance” involved here :p - I need from the show so I’m looking for it elsewhere)!

I am convinced it would have been so amazing seeing Phil and Melinda spar because I found adorable (ok, maybe it’s not the best term to describe sparring sessions, but I have big family feels about it because Philindaisy obviously so for me that adjective stands) the sparring scenes Daisy had with both Phil and Melinda so yeah, it was a huge waste of potential, but what’s new when we talk about Philinda’s treatment in the show...

I do see their relationship as a bit unbalanced. There are so many times we saw May showing in words and actions what Coulson means to her, even her freaking robot was out there declaring her love and willing to die for him and the team. I think you're right that Coulson being the director is one of teh reasons for that difference but I think who they are is another.

For Coulson there is Humanity, SHIELD, Daisy and ofc May cares about that too but I mostly see her putting him ahead of pretty much everything, she's so ridiculously loyal to him, even Garret knew that about her, it wasn't follow SHIELD to the grave but Coulson. Watching gifsets of S1B was actually making me ship them less lol, he believed she was Hydra up until she was about to be killed too and then he was a raging dick, to hurt her, and not even an apology after.

Nothing much to add here, I agree with you, let me just underline the awful treatment Phil reserved to Melinda when he thought she was Hydra... All right, I get it, he must have felt overwhelmed discovering such huge betrayal from people in his organization to the point he felt he couldn’t be able to trust anyone, when he was raised in SHIELD with the “trust the system” drill in his head, valid for him until he died and was brought back, at least, not to mention the fact that he was kept in the shadows about this goddamn GH-325 secret by his closest (at least that’s what he thought she was) friend and ally, but just because he seemed to rely on Melinda so much that he decided to choose her as his “right-hand” for the task he accepted, I was flabbergasted that, after the first (comprehensible) moment of shock, he didn’t give her just a glimmer of benefit of the doubt, straight up assumed that she betrayed him and all... So was there nothing at all to be saved from their relationship until that moment that he could just pause just a second and consider that that was Melinda May he was crucifying, and I’m aware that it all happened so fast that there wasn’t a moment to breathe, let alone the chance of having a proper, lenghty conversation with her, but it took him too long, in my humble opinion, to realize that he couldn’t just throw whatever they had out of the window so rashly... Anyway, after the “epiphanic” Audrey episode the writers OBVIOUSLY never addressed the situation again, making us believe that between them it was all good again just by magic... mumble mumble... Thankfully there is fanfiction to fill in the gaps, because there is not a chance in the world I’ll be convinced that that evening, after Melinda brought Phil the infamous pendrive with the video about the TAHITI project, didn’t end up with them spending the night discussing everything and both apologizing AT LENGTH (in my universe there would have been also moments gradually and steadily reaching the R rating, but I would have been perfectly fine watching a scene with just them talking and making a real effort to clear things up and it would have actually made more sense considering canon, but they gave us nothing so whatever, I consider myself free to imagine whatever it pleases me :p )

I remember watching all of that some months ago and thinking he's going to to redeem himself by showing she the same kind of loyalty but then S2 and May was again with that massive devotion of hers, with the alien illness and the "real" SHIELD but what I got was Coulson lying to her repeatedly for no good reason. 3A was weird, I don't mind they had LIs, I actually really liked Andrew but they barely felt like friends imo. When Andrew/Lash was happening *Mack* was the only one who thought that maybe she could use a friend, that was bizarre. 

WHEN HE ASKED HER TO KILL HIM IF THINGS GOT OUT OF CONTROL (and just that, my god, I understand that he trusts only her with everything at this point, not only SHIELD but even his life, but it’s rather a terrible thing to ask anyway), AND SHE INSTEAD HAD ALREADY PLANNED TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIFE IN A GODDAMN CABIN IN A PLACE SHE KNEW HE WANTED TO VISIT, DECIDING TO STAND BY HIS SIDE AND SUPPORT AND HELP HIM UNTIL THE VERY END... AND BY S5 SHE HELD UP TO HER WORD AND DID IT, EVEN IF IN A DIFFERENT PLACE... 

“NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU, THAT’S MY PLAN”  

EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO DIG MYSELF A HOLE IN THE GARDEN AND CURL UP IN THERE FOR THE NEXT DECADE IF THAT ISN’T LOVE I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS??!?!!!!! That sentence and her actions show her love for him more powerfully than any “I love you” voiced out, but ok, let’s carry on...

I could even let the fact that he didn’t tell her about Theta Protocol slide because of all that classified crap and such, even if she called him out brilliantly about him not having the right to know that as well him not being Director anymore (HA, sorry Coulson but take that!) - I’m not really sure it was that a valid reason the fact that he should have told her because Andrew was involved, I mean, idk, they were not even married anymore, I don’t think that officially it should have been her business to know, but surely, as his best friend, Phil maybe should have felt more of a moral obligation to inform her, also because I can’t really recall if Phil started seeing Andrew before he confessed Melinda about his writing impulses, but at some point she knew, so what was the harm on letting her know? Where was the logic in keeping at least that hidden from her? I’ll be damned if I know! 

Anyway, what I seriously would have kicked Phil’s ass for is the fact that he, TWICE (as far as I remember at least) affirmed that he didn’t want to go to Melinda after the whole Andrew/Lash debacle because “she wouldn’t want me to go after her right now” “she’ll talk when she’s ready”... Phil... pal.... buddy... what the fuck???!!! I mean, ok, Melinda would have assured you that she was fine, especially if you approached her in public, but... you know... we know... THE WHOLE WORLD knows she wasn’t, how could she???!!! One fucking sentence, one “you know I’m here if you want to talk or anything” like she said to him, more than once, would have killed the writers to insert it?????!?!?!?! But no, not only he doesn’t reach to her (at least, we don’t see it and it isn’t even implied in the show)but in the meantime he proceedes to go out and have drinks and slEEP WITH ROSALIND AND START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER WHAT THE HELL KINDA BEHAVIOUR IS THAT?????! His best friend is anguished, tormented and in pain, he should have at least stood by her bunk’s door all night just to reassure her he was there for whatever she needed, or at least stay at base, work, go to sleep, idk, with what spirit you go out and go on a date and everything???!! Why is that, to distract yourself?? Oh yeah, but he’s also working an angle here, yeah all work and duty and no play, eh, Coulson?! MELINDA NEEDED YOUR SUPPORT AND FRIENDSHIP FFS!!!!!!! Damn it, at least find time to show a scene in which he makes an effort to reach for her, then she is free to do anything she wants with his support and if she asks he’ll be considerate enough to leave her alone, but show us he tries, because that’s something I think Coulson would do!!!! Instead he apparently just straight up assumes that she doesn’t want anyone close in that moment so he doesn’t even bother to assure her that if she needs it, he’s there for her... I get it, we all know she closed off after Bahrain and all and she’s the kind of person who tends to keep things for herself, but it doesn’t hurt to at least let her know he’s available if she needs help, especially because she’d hate to bother him knowing well that he has a lot more to think about than just her? Listen, Coulson in certain instances could be a little dense, but I think he’d make such a reasoning, idk? Or am I assuming too much about him? But, as you said, even Mack voices his concerns about leaving her alone, someone who is not particularly close to her, but not Phil 

3B was better but still too little. It's funny but two of my favorites scenes of the show were the one about the boundaries, SO much to unpack there and when called him on it when he said she was too quick to the trigger and Daisy wasn't Andrew, the murder vest was bad enough but damn he still went the extra mile, but if he's going to be a bastard, at least have May fight back because I don't think I could take more of him being a dick and May just taking and getting no apologies like in 2B. 

Oh my god, OH MY GOD yes, that was the peak of the idiocy!! “You’re always so quick to the trigger” JESUS CHRIST PHIL HOW COULD YOU EVEN CONCEIVE TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HER, TO MELINDA, HOW THE FUCK DOES YOUR BRAIN WORK????!!?!?!!? I seriously tend to erase all this stupidity in s3, I know it’s not fair to the show but I’m sorry, I really can’t stand that Phil could say shit like that to Melinda, I can barely recognize it as canon... Maybe it’s me who has created this version of Phil in my head that actually got things wrong about his character, maybe I’m misreading him and don’t really understand him fully (not that I have ever claimed that I do, anyway), because no matter how stressful this moment is for him and no matter how much pressure he is under, I can’t for the life of me accept that he would say those things and behave like that... S1 behaviour I understand even if it still pisses me off a bit but it’s definitely more comprehensible, but these aspects no, just no, no way... The writers kinda saved it with May taking no shit from him (thank god for that, at least) and him apologizing, even if that was still pretty mild according to me, but oh well, better than nothing at all I guess? Let’s try to convince ourselves of that...

S4 was kinda funny to me because they just turned it up to eleven but I appreciate we actually saw him showing love/devotion/loyalty, without S4 I don't think I could ship them as much and since S5 was also disappointing in my I need to believe Coulson loves her as much as she loves him thing there was little Philinda, but still we had May showing in actions and words her love for him and Coulson, well, I believe he loves her and I guess he kissed her, said he didn't want to leave her and invited her to spend a few days together before he died in front of her. Her SL in S6 was about how much she loved him but I knew that already lol and then emotional torture and death. 

Definitely, I seriously don’t know what happened during s4 writing that convinced the writers to suddenly push on the accelerator with their relationship, but I’m actually grateful (see? I can also say good things about them lol ), even if in terms of continuity for their dynamic I’m not sure how much sense it makes unless you take for granted that interactions must have happened in between the seasons, things we obviously weren’t witnesses of... As you pointed out, otherwise it would have been pretty hard to root for them to get closer, because May deserves the world!

It’s kind of ironic in a way to see, despite her being not openly vocal and expressive in her affections, how much more Melinda has said and done to and for Phil compared to him for her - again, as it has been said, he had far more things to worry about than her, whose mission was mainly Phil from the very beginning, so he obviously was more preoccupied to allow himself the luxury of devoting himself to just one person, but still...

S6? What is that? I really have no idea what you’re talking about here... :p

And that's why I appreciate so much how the fics do the work on Couson's part because I don't think I would love the ship as much without it either. And I just find confusing why AoS decided to go for the ship if they didn't care much about committing to their relationship on screen.

Yes! And ah, at this point, especially after S6, I’m so deflated about some choices that were made that I hardly care about trying to understand what goes through the writers’ heads, so again, I’ll just take what I want and run away quickly before they catch me and throw me in the pit of misery again (lol, look how confident I seem, as if I firmly believe that I won’t be affected at all by S7... Mh mh, yeah, sure, stay tuned to find out how much I’ll fail despite me training myself not to get involved with the show like I used to be...)

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Fanfic Ask Game

@swiftjolras tagged me, thanks so much buddy! <3

At what age did you start writing fanfiction?

I literally have stories that I dictated to my mother between the ages of 2-6 about Winnie the Pooh and his friends, some of which I also “illustrated” and some of which my mother illustrated. One of these involves Tigger (my favorite) getting kidnapped and tied up, so uh. I’m not going to say that I was always destined to end up writing the kinky shit I write on a regular basis now but if someone else were to say it I wouldn’t argue lmao

Who is your favorite author?

I’m not sure if this is asking for my favorite published author or fanfic author, so let’s do a few of each! My favorite published authors are J.R.R. Tolkien, Justine Larbalestier, Scott Westerfeld, Malinda Lo, and Celeste Ng. My favorite fanfic authors are my wife (whose AO3 name is easily guessable if you look at my AO3 lmao), my pal @swashbucklery and also there was this author that went by the name JackEPearce and used to write really neat Skimmons AUs, idk if they’ve written any of those lately but I loved a lot of their stuff.

Favorite type of scene to write?

Dialogue lol. I have (not to brag) a really acute sense of what characters’ voices sound like probably 80% of the time, and I love writing them bouncing off each other.

What is your favorite fanfic?

Ooh I answered this awhile back in an ask meme actually! So there’s like, five recs. And I have a page on my blog for fanfic recs but it hasn’t been updated since the days when I still regularly reblogged Buffy and Firefly stuff so who knows if any of those links work, lmao. (I still am extremely fond of Small Fry and Son of Small Fry and I know those are on AO3.)

What tags do you avoid like the plague?

I’m very wary of Major Character Death, it really depends on the circumstances. And I almost never read soulmate AUs because I find them generally irritating. (The Matt/Foggy fic from the last answer is the best exception I’ve seen so far.)

What AU do you wish to write but feel like you won’t manage?

Someday I’m going to write the SHIELD s5 AU where Ruby doesn’t chop Elena’s arms off and also doesn’t die, and and then she becomes the Zuko of the group and becomes Daisy’s weird protege, because she should have been Ward’s narrative opposite goddammit. But that would require me to rewatch season 5. Someday!

Oh, and someday I’ll also finish the AU where dark!Sif and Lorelei fall in love and conquer the realms together. You may notice a pattern and it is that I am generally dissatisfied with SHIELD’s handling of female antagonists.

What has been your favorite story to write so far?

Who among us is surprised that I’m going to say my werewolf AU, the fic which most represents my soul. But also popstars AU is I think B’s and my most underrated fic, probably because who reads Kara/Melinda lmao but goddammit it’s CUTE. I also surprisingly really enjoyed writing the Stucky high school AU, which was a wild departure from my usual but seemed to go over pretty well all things considered. (It’s not that I don’t love the Skimmons stuff because I do!!! But a lot of it is um, porny so I don’t want to link it lmao)

Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters? Why?

If I’m writing a one-shot, it’s either going to balloon out into an absurd length or be a smut fic. And even then I end up making them into series so I’m not sure if that counts!

What is your favorite kind of comment?

I love getting literally any comments but I especially like it when people shoutout their favorite part/line. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a comment where someone liveblogged all the bits they like but that would make me so so so happy.

Why did you start writing fanfiction? Why are you still writing it?

I mean, apparently because I was a kinky little kid who liked it when my faves got tied up lmao. But also, I didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid and I think I just wanted more stories about my fictional “friends,” so I told them to myself at recess and while I was going to sleep. Then when I started posting it online, it was a way to get involved in a movie that I loved (The Incredibles) and a way to force my extremely patient middle school friends into my fandom. Bless them, they faithfully read every terrible chapter I printed out for them and brought to class to share.

I am still writing it because the Marvel Universe is determined to not give me girls kissing (with the exception of Runaways) so I will just have to fix that my goddamn self apparently.

And I’m tagging @swashbucklery @toriasimmons @allofthefeelings @bluediamond421 and uhhhhh honestly I know I’m forgetting people bc my brain is a sieve so if you see this and want to play pretend I tagged you! <3

[rocinawanda]

the end of an era

game of thrones finale. spoilers of course

I loved the finale. I cried multiple times. The first half of the episode moved a little slowly but after Dany died it picked up and got to where I thought it would be.

I feel like this post needs to be really long to convey all my emotions regarding this show like how hearing the theme song at the end continued to bring me to tears. So i’ll just go character to character to make this easier.

Daenerys. I still love her. I loved her all the way through the series and that hasn’t changed. She needed to die and I was not surprised that it happened I started suspecting it two years ago. Because I saw it coming I didn’t feel much sadness when Jon initally killed her but when Drogon came up and started nudging her with its nose I started bawling. I’m still hurt I felt Drogon’s grief and him burning the iron throne was amazing and so poetic agh I cannot. I am so glad they didn’t kill him because I was wondering before the episode what would happen to him after she died. My theory was that they would “set him free” and I guess it pretty much came true he took her body and flew off east. Probably towards Valyria or something I don’t know but I’m glad he’s alive and away from Westeros.

Jon. I’m sad. I kept saying “it’s not fair!” but it is. Sending him to the wall, bringing it full circle. I’m sad for him that he’ll never marry or have children and ffs he gave his life for the nights watch once just to end up there again its bittersweet justice. However, seeing him reunite with Ghost I SQUEALED AND HIT EVERYTHING HE GOT HIS GOOD BOY PATS and riding off with Tormund and the Free Folk almost felt right for Jon like there was no other ending that would suffice. Like they could’ve made him king simply because he was the heir but this felt right for the end.

Sansa. or should i say QUEEN SANSA QUEEN IN THE NORTH LADY OF WINTERFELL OMG. I’m still yelling. I was wondering why she was hesistent to Aye Bran becoming king but yes I remembered she wants the north to be independent and I can agree with that. and HOLY FUCK IT FELT SO GOOD. DID YOU SEE HER MY QUEEN. Whenever I think about it I start yelling. She got the ending she deserved. She has been shown to be the best ruler the North could have like lets be serious. I’m so happy for her. Its also very funny like a Stark is King of the Six Kingdoms and the last kingdom is also ruled by a Stark aka HOUSE STARK FTW.

Arya. When she started the “what’s west of Westeros” line I started sobbing I knew instantly that she was going to go find it. I can see that is where she would want her life to be. Because honestly, I didn’t know what Arya would want to be I couldn’t come up with any theory because I had no idea, I know she didn’t want to be a lady, I was sure she didn’t want to be a killer/assassin anymore. But an explorer? I can fuck with that. Sad about Gendry I was hoping the shots around the boat would show him beside her but that would be pure fanservice he is Lord of Storms End now and I need to accept it lol.

Bran. All hail the king. UNEXPECTED. He was probably the last person I would expect to become king but damn they made it make sense. He will be a good king. I don’t know if he can be helpful strategically but hey the last king after a war was Robert Baratheon and he was only good at war and was a terrible king so I think Westeros could benefit from one that is very smart, wise and can recall all of the mistakes their ancestors have made in little time. Also his comment at the end that he may be able to find Drogon made me think he was gonna try to Warg him but like from how far away lol. Also when Tyrion said ‘Bran the Broken’ I did start crying because idk I felt it, like damn he really is the king and that is his title.

Tyrion. GLAD he didn’t die. Being hand of the king is his position lol that last small council scene was brilliant although I am still surprised they actually gave Lord of Highgarden to Bronn the whole scene was hilarious. Gold. But damn Tyrion, he’s been hand of the king twice now and hand of the queen. Also Glad Davos is a lord now and on the small council he deserves it.

Grey worm. I was worried what he would do in the end but I’m glad he accepted it and him and the unsullied are going to Naath.

Game of Thrones. I have loved this show. I have watched since season 4 aired so around 5 years now. I will miss this show so much. My blog name is literally thronesense for game of thrones and sense8, two shows which have now ended. I don’t know if i’ll eventually end up changing it, probably. Nevertheless, I have loved watching the world of this show grow and the characters grow with it. So many twists and turns that I have enjoyed SO MUCH. I will allow it to live on for me through me rewatching it over the years and the fanfiction i’m sure people are already writing lol.

Altogether I can say that my favourite seasons of game of thrones in order from my most to least favourite go S4, S3, S6, S8, S1, S7, S5, S2. I can say this now after rewatching and seeing all of season 8. Each season had parts I enjoyed and parts I didn’t it was just that some like season two had more parts that I didn’t find interesting than ones I did. Altogether they make up an incredible tv show that I won’t ever forget.

[sunjaesol]

Thoughts whilst watching 6x11

- SCOTT IN THE BEGINNING MINUTES IM LIVING (Now we can all forget the tragic beginning of 6x01) - Assistant coach awwww yes - Thank the fucking Gods Hayden is gone. I’m sure the actress who played her was very nice but her character was cheesy and useless and I’m glad she’s gone. Also, I like Liam more when he’s single. - Mason is basically Stiles 2.0 but in a good way.  - Well, Corey didn’t annoy me.  - Interesting how they call back on the mantra that was central in s4. Like Liam said later on, he doesn’t need it anymore. What triggered him for hil to need to use it again. It doesn’t really make sense. He was very much in control of his powers in s5 and s6A. - Also, seniors? That doesn’t make sense. Liam joined BHHS in the end of Freshmen year (s4), then in s5 and s6A they should be Sophomores (which is legit since they can drive a car). Now they should go to Junior year, NOT senior year. It just doesn’t make sense. But oh well, it’s not the first time Teen Wolf fucked up dates.  - Liam and Scott casually go into the forest with no explanation leaving everyone else on the field. Definitely not suspicious.  - ... bugs out of a wolf? Is this 3B all over again?  - more... dead wolfs? Hunters? That’s what 6B would be about, right?  - DYLAN (excuse me, Stiles) ISNT IN THE FUCKING INTRO WHAT - Also, besides him not being in the intro, I still hate it in general. I know amateur editors who can make an intro that’s a hundred times better than that.  - MALIA AND LYDIA HANG OUT THIS IS FANFICTION COME TO LIFE - wHAT happened to all of their rooms anyway? Scott’s room has changed, Lydia’s as well.  - Malia going to France? Nod to the Argents? Isaac x Malia fanfics come to life? Where is Isaac anyway? Did he die?  - Is it me or do Lydia’s eyebrows look odd?  - “I want mysterious men. French ones.” Trust me, Malia, you don’t want mysterious French men.  - They both look cute btw. True to their style. (Although Lydia’s style has changed a lot since junior year. We don’t get to see her in dresses and braids a lot anymore.) - Did anyone see the parallel of Scott and Liam sitting together on the bed with Stiles and Scott staring at the load of money in s4?  - Suitcases don’t do that. And please, have they never learned to fold clothes? Boys.  - AND SPECIAL GUEST STAR DYLAN O’BRIEN IS THIS WHAT HE IS DERATED TO? A GUEST STAR? FUCK EVERYTHING (kidding im glad he’s even in 6B) - Is Dylan Sprayberry little? I feel like he is.  I viewed his resume on imbd: he’s 5′7″. So he’s small for a male. I’m taller than him lol.  - Another hellhound? Locked since 1912? And why the hell is Eichen House still around? You would think that after everything with Lydia in s5b, that Natalie would sue the constitution for practically murdering her daughter. Of course, she would need to exploit all supernatural, but still. Even the non-supernatural people they treat poorly. - I suppose we’re going to find out later who the white haired dude is? Or did he die? And is the black guy dead? And how did the nurse not know about this? If he is able to get in this part of the facility, he must have known about this.   - “Everyone says it’s an easy A.” Bitch please you need to WORK for Latin. It’s fun though. Anyways...  - The counsellor gives me the creeps. She knows shit. Also, after this many seasons, we all know not to trust new employees at BHHS. Except for the Yukimura’s. (#KiraDeservedBetter)  - ugh Corey, can you be any more obvious?  - “and yet you never come into my office and share any of these thoughts”, well... perhaps it’s none of your business.  - Nolan is the new character right?  - So, he’s going to be the snitch? I get it though. After three years of constant supernatural it would be odd no one from the outside never said anything.  - Lol. The Beast Of Gevaudan was supposed to be an animal attack? Right. Can you guys believe that was Mason? Wild.  - Honestly, I would be that bitch that would pick every book from the Mythology and Superstition section.  - “Why does this keep happening to our school?” idk Sydney, I don’t know.  - Also I feel like their CGI just keeps getting worse? - And I also suppose it will be later explained how there was a rat attack? - How did “Hellhound 1912″ get these clothes that fit him so well? Did he have time to go to H&M? - Sydney has such pretty hair btw - Oh look we’re there again. Where everything shitty happens. - A... rat massacre? - Rat King? - Principal Martin allrrighht go her. - oh no it’s the butterfly sweater girlie no - not about teen wolf but it hurts when I move my neck,, anyways - well they are your students and if they have supernatural issues you should know about them and help them. they can’t learn if they have shit going on.  - “and you have to go rule in one” yessssss Lydia will be the baddest bitch of MIT.  - The taser. Another nod to the Argent’s. - I love Scott and Melissa’s relationship. It feels organic. It really reminds me of my relationship with my mum. (Without the supernatural part, of course.)  - Scott’s look when he sees she knows about the herbs is incredible. Melissa’s kind of like their new emissary. I always thought Stiles would be it, but I suppose the role is for Melissa. (Deaton seems to not be present so... ???) - I feel like this is what Malia did in the hiatus between 5B and 6A. Like, Stiles called up Lydia if he thought something was happening and then he called Malia to investigate. She’s doing it very routinely so this was not the first time she’d one something like that.  - Mason standing back is like Stiles being afraid of needles.  - Ah, I love Malia.  - Poor Melissa. Thought she was getting some lumpia’s.  - Great. Now the whole hospital saw Liam shift. Fucking great. More patients for Eichen House.  - Lydia has a key to Scott’s house. She probably got that idea from Stiles (ehehehehehehehehe i’m trash) - Wop. The lights fall out. This can’t be good.   - I love how this is shot. The eerie sounds, the shadows, yet her face is perfectly lit. It’s great. - Did Holland’s breasts get bigger since 6A?  - Never pick up the phone when you’re in a horror movie.  - The spider webs(?) is a bit like the red strings in 3B when Stiles went missing. The rules of her powers stay consistent which is very nice. - “You let it out, you were supposed to ride with the Hunt forever.” Okay, so the Wild Hunt still plays a part in 6B, but how does that tie in with everything else? And what is “it”? Stiles? - That Toyota promo though. Doesn’t make sense though that Mason has a new car. He got one from his parents for his 16th birthday in s5B and that was a different one. (I pay attention, guys) - Late Night Study Hall in the Library. Is that a thing? That’s a thing? Is it an American thing? I think it is.  - *cue Western music* hellhound vs hellhound. ready, set, fire! - ah, so the counsellor has all the books. alright. shady bitch. - when you casually have a gun with you at school. she’s a guidance counsellor god damn it.  - “If the Wild Hunt couldn’t keep you, nothing can.” So he has a connection to the Wild Hunt? Right, hellhounds are connected to them. right right right. So the wild hunt was also there in 1912? - “No... no, it’s not you.” WHO IS IT? Scott? Stiles?  - Huh. When Stiles uses his bat it often ends better than that. Oh well, Mason has time to learn. - When Derek said Liam will become strong he wasn’t kidding.  - This episode is just shot really great. - STILES HIS CAR - “Be Gentle” fuck im emotional how does a fucking character do this to me - wow Lydia could you be any more creepy.  - “We can’t leave.” Stiles really influenced her damn - Out of context but I like skinny Liam more than buff Liam. Also his hair is hideous. - bromance on point - “OUI OUI!” oh my god Malia is this how Americans act? Like is this it?  - I love this so much, these pack feels. yes yes yes.  - oh honey, that’s a hellhound. - that tree trunk did not hit him hard jesus - well. he’s dead.  - what the fuck. is she an Argent? or just a Hunter from the Argent dynasty? and where is she? she couldn’t have run that fast. Scott’s a werewolf for fucks sake. -  it’s interesting how now this isn’t something new for them. it’s a routine. something happens, they help. they figure things out faster.  - omg is this the scene with stiles? - am I the only one that started crying when I heard Dylan’s voice.  - oh and I could make a whole seperate blog post on my reaction to Stiles in 6x11 but here is the td;lr i cried. - Oh Derek, what are you doing? - Jep, that is a triskelion. Stop zooming in gosh. 

[galvanizedfriend]

I was just here thinking about how I've been in this fandom for roughly three and a half years now and how it all came to pass and how life is a bitch, you know.

I was just minding my own business, lalala, and then a freaking vampire teen show on the CW decided not to give me my promised endgame, and that made me so ??? indignant ??? I had to start reading and writing fanfiction. And now three and a half years later I'm still here, more obsessed with the pairing than I had ever been while the shows were airing, all because they wouldn't deliver on this basic promise.

I mostly dislike everything that happened to the TVDu after S5 of TVD. Few scenes here, few characters there, whatever. But I didn't enjoy it anymore. It didn't SPARK JOY. And yet I was really chill about it. I see people getting legit mad at showrunners and stuff, and while I understand the feeling, I never really shared that hatred because I was always willing to accept that TVD was just going to be bad. And there's nothing wrong with that! lol I enjoy the bliss of crappy TV. Bad, absurd, nonsensical shows can make for really great entertainment. Not everything has to be Six Feet Under, you know. And when I started watching TVD, I think mid-season 3 was already airing, or maybe s4 was about to start, so I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into, never had any expectations about what a teen drama on the CW was or was not going to deliver. I was chill.

So when it went from bad-but-actually-good to just bad, I was just shrugging, rolling my eyes and going 'ok', because all I wanted was my endgame. That's the only reason I was watching it. I was never drawn to TVD as a whole, the storytelling was never that compelling to me, the world building never truly gripping, and while the first 3 seasons were REALLY good (S2 and 3 are awesome, come on), what kept going back every week was Klaroline. And I figured, even after S4, one day the crossover will happen, they will bring those two back together. There's no way they're just gonna throw this out. I was willing to wait patiently for it. However long it takes.

Not really though, because I ended Marie Kondo-ing the shit out of that and quit TVD on S7 and couldn't make it past the beginning of TO S3, so I dropped both. But every six months I would hop on Google and type 'Klaroline crossover'. Something told me one day it would come. When S5 was finally announced, I felt PEACE, man. I was like YES, FINALLY. I KNEW IT. I felt REWARDED. I EARNED this.

And here's the thing about me: all my ships die. It's just a curse I carry with me that I'm sure I will pass on to my children, and my children's children, and their children after that. The curse of being eternally heartbroken and frustrated over fictional characters. It's awful here, guys. Real life sucks and then THIS, you know. So unfair.

It's so, so rare for me to actually have a ship that gets me INVESTED. Even when I like characters/a show/a pairing, for me to have PERSONAL FEELINGS towards them, it takes mountains moving and planets aligning. And so far, whenever it has happened, someone died. I NEVER got my endgame. EVER. And when I wrapped myself around Klaroline like a snake around a little calf it wants to devour, it was because I, fool that I am, thought there was NO WAY a teen vampire show wasn't going to give me my endgame, especially when they had been hinting at it for YEARS. TVD LITERALLY ends with them saying Klaroline was endgame. I had just had my heart ripped apart by The Good Wife and Homeland. Torchwood, my OG fandom and only other time I ever got into fanfiction, killed my soul. Cowboy Bebop, my baby Yokie ship? Dead. Beautiful, poetic, I fully support it - but also, consider my heart.

I saw these two vampires, VAMPIRES, and I thought: wow, I'm finally safe. It's the BASIC understanding of teen shows that ships need to happen. You don't cheat teenagers, dude. You don't break their hearts. That's just mean. And then when S5 was announced, I knew I had been right all along. I watched that mess and I was like "They have Nazi vampires in this season and Klaus is out there saying shit like 'They hate me because of what I am' [a hybrid, not a mass murderer psycho who's also essentially an asshole *affectionate*], but hey - it'll be fine. Klaroline will be endgame. Nazi vampires don't matter. Klaroline matters."

I was chill, dudes. I was very chill. Compared to how vitriolic people have been about TVD over the years, I was just CHILL.

And then they betrayed me. While I will argue that Klaroline ended up being *the* endgame pairing, since Elijah essentially worked to get Hayley killed (hahahaha dude wtf), and Caroline and Klaus were *it*, as we always knew they would be, I was just... Livid. I could not BELIEVE what those bitches had done to me.

This was me:

They put me through NAZI VAMPIRES, YOU GUYS. Klaus was like 'Oh no, they are killing wolves, because they are LIKE ME' when he basically spends his entire TVDu career HATING and KILLING wolves himself. And it was all for NOTHING.

I can take shows like The Good Wife killing my ships. I was destroyed, but I can take it, because shows like TGW aim to be 'superior drama'. They are going for the awards. I don't feel cheated by them. But The Vampire Diaries? Are you effing kidding me?

I had been watching TVD for years before that fateful day in August 2018 when Klaus turns to glittery dust without having ever felt like reading fanfiction. But I remember I finished that episode, got my computer, and went straight to AO3. From the ashes of my indignation, an urge was born. And I've been here ever since.

I wasn't even asking for a *good* finale. I had long abandoned any notion that this show, which featured Nazi vamps and a snowflake baby that grows up to kill the mom who basically raised her all by herself, was going to give me *good*. I just wanted it to BE, period. All I wanted was to collect my fan service and be done with it. I'm easy to please, I'd be happy. If they'd given me that, I would probably not be here right now. AND YET.

Why am I writing all this? I have no idea. I was just thinking about it. Life, huh? Just as pointless as this post.

[weasleychick32]

Supernatural Survey

I was tagged by @rosewhipped22 like uhh a month a go. Yeah for eventual responses!

1. What season did you start watching Supernatural? Uhhh 8? Maybe 9? I don’t remember lol

2. Who was the first character you fell in love with? Cas. Cas was actually the reason I started watching the show in the first place. I’ve never been a fan of scary movies so I thought I was going to have to suffer through the first three seasons before I got to the good stuff, but I was pleasantly surprised.

3. Who was a character that you hated at first but grew to love?: Dean? *ducks for cover* I wouldn’t say hate but I spent a whole episode and a half wondering what y’all saw in him. Needless to say, I get it now ;)

4. Which character would you most want to be in a long-term relationship with? None? Uh if I had to pick maybe Bobby? Friendships count as relationships, right? We’d have the best bro-ship in the universe where he does whatever he wants and I do whatever I want. Easy as pie.

5. If you could go on a date with just one character, which one would you choose?: *long drawn out sigh*  

6. What would you do on that date? *obnoxiously long drawn out sigh*

7. Which character would you most want to be like?: Jody. That’s lady’s got her shit together.

8. Which character would you most want to see brought back from the dead?: Oh jeez what a question. I gotta go with Charlie though (sorry everyone else)

9. Which character would you most like to punch?: Literally every angel that ever took advantage of Cas’s trust (looking at you meta-douche)

10. Who is your absolute favorite character?: Castiel

11. Which “Big Bad” do you think was the worst?: I was leaning towards early Lucifer, but honestly, I think it was the angels who fought to make the apocalypse happen. Douchebags.

12. Which character are you most like?: Dean 

13. What death hit you the hardest? Bobby - 4 sure. Ever since I’ve just been pretty numb to all the deaths. Even Charlie’s was like yeah okay now you’re just being dicks. She’ll live forever in fanfiction. 14. What season finale hit you the hardest?: I dunno. 4 or 5 maybe. Swan Song is still my all-time fav and I still get choked up hearing Rob’s voice-over so probz5.

15. What are your ten all-time favorite episodes?: Oh ha--Ten?? You think I can pick TEN??? HA! Spoiler Alert: I suck at picking favorites. But for proprieties sake, let’s go with Swan Song, Windego, and Baby and p much all the ones involving Claire basically.

16. What’s been your favorite season?: *8 or 5

17. Who is your favorite angel? Cas (bobviously)

18. Who is your favorite demon? Meg 2.0

19. Who’s your favorite evil character? Abbaddon. She was chaotic evil and that was super scary

20. Do you have any Supernatural ships?: It’s not a ship if they’re actually soulmates (destiel). And then I whore Sam around between Jess, Gabriel, Eileen, and Ruby depnding on the context. What can I say? He’s a lover.

21. Who’s your favorite supporting actor?: Osric maybe? So many good options...

22. What’s your favorite quote from the show?: "Freedom is a length of rope and God wants you to hang yourself with it.”

23. If you could cast one famous actor in an episode of SPN, who would you choose? Matthew Gray Gubler (also the entire s5(ish) Criminal Minds team OR NO WAIT! Dylan O’Brien! Actin’ shady, keeping his wolfy friends safe.

24. If you could write your own episode, what kind of creatures would you like to see included?: An angel vs. Coffee Maker battle royale (Early morning Cas, if that wasn’t clear)

25. Who’s your favorite girl that Dean’s hooked up with?: Of the women Dean has hooked up with, Anna is my fav character.

26. Who’s your favorite girl that Sam’s hooked up with?: Of the women Sam has hooked up with, Ruby is my fav character.

27. What are some of your favorite convention moments?: God I don’t think I can pinpoint it to anything specific. All I know is that I can’t casually listen to the videos at work because I have almost died trying not to laugh.

28. If you were going to guest star (or be a recurring guest star) on SPN, how would you want your character to be described?: Loner hunter woman, kinda awkward, but not Cas-level awkward. Drives around in her van taking care of little cases that the big time hunters tend to over-look. “Most hunters (i.e. Winchesters and Co) wear boots. Boots are good, sturdy footwear designed for standing your ground and to protect your feet from the inevitable shrapnel that comes with fighting baddies and refusing to back down no matter the cost. Me? I opt for running shoes. Because I wanna live.”

29. What do you hope to see in the next season?: So many... I want a destiel kiss, Cas and Mary to become besties, Sam and Dean to be the bestest bros to ever bro,and the supernatural world outed to the general public.

30. - 40. If you had to choose…

Bobby or John?: Bobby, no contest

Bela or Ruby? Ruby

Jess or Madison?: Jess

Jo or Lisa?: Jo

Charlie or Kevin? How dare you ask this of me. I refuse to answer.

Balthazar or Ash?: Ash

Cas or Crowley? Cas

Ben or Claire? Claire

Jody or Donna? Dumb question. BOTH obviously!

Sam or Dean?: Trick question! You can’t have one with out the other.....I’m not prepared for where that answer may take me so I’m just gonna ignore it

[willsilvertongue]

Top 5 Ships

thank you @overwatchfelicitysmoak for tagging me (quite a while ago lol) but just so you know, i’m really lazy when it comes to watching tv so most of these will be book ships:

1. Bellarke (the 100)

you really don’t need to dig deep into my blog to know how much i love them so this won’t be long. all you need to know is that i’ve never seen a greater love story than theirs and if they’re not endgame i’ll cry (well sad-cry bc i’m gonna sob for days out of happiness if they do become canon). they make me happy on bad days and i spend hours talking to anyone willing to listen about their relationship so yeah, i really, really love them.

2. Swanthief (ouat)

it’s been a while but ouat is the only other show i’ve ever been invested in so this is the only other tv ship i’ve been invested in as well. but after all these years these two still have my heart. i liked their relationship when they were first together but i LOVED it after neal came back. and then when he appeared again for a scene in s5 i was just… over the moon. i have so many thoughts about how they could’ve had a better ending after s3 that would actually make sense. and i’m so upset about how the show went downhill that every three months my sister and i end up having long discussions about how ouat could’ve succeeded while still making everyone happy lol

3. Helnik (six of crows)

ok so when i read i don’t necessarily read for relationships (at least i try not to) and all the couples in the books i’ve read over the past year haven’t been able to make me feel for them anyway. until this one. i just… live for every moment between nina and matthias. like I KNOW kaz and inej are more popular but howww can you not ship these two?? soft and bubbly one with the tall and broody one is just such an enjoyable pairing. AND they literally have a platonic bed sharing scene to keep warm which is just AHHHH

4. Adansey (the raven cycle)

I WAS ROBBED OF A HUG IN RAVEN KING AND I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT. these two were honestly my only motivation to get through this series (sorry maggie). bc here we have two best friends that are not complete opposites for once and are both such nerds and despite their arguments concerning money and just basically their different backgrounds they still try to find a way to stop arguing because what they mean to each other is more important than any petty and repetitive fight (i mean while arguing they’re still concerned about the other’s well-being?? love only). it’s canon they fight like a married couple and have deep in-depth conversations about any given topic of interest. this series is beautiful but the characters and relationships are even better so if you need that little nudge to start the series, read it for them.

5. Dramione (harry potter)

alright so just to be clear, i don’t really ship them in canon, just based on the potential they have after the series. but wow do i love their potential a LOT, at least enough to read tons of fanfiction about them (i only read fic when i’m really passionate about the pairing). like i obviously want draco to overcome his prejudice against muggles by himself but having hermione with him could really help, you know? and they’re both so intelligent so you know they’d have endless conversations and disagreements about things that only they could understand. this is controversial but i do believe that if we got another book they would’ve made a lovely slytherin x gryffindor couple shown in a positive not-negative light. 

i’ve seen a lot of people do this already so i won’t tag, but if you see this and want to do it, go ahead and tag me back ! :)