#me neither to be honest

[willowedhepatica]

Avatrice + snowed in?

A robin wants to escape the storm. It's skittering, wings flapping in hectic motion between the cup of Beatrice palms.

Ava had left the window open.

It thrums, small chest heaving against her hand and Beatrice wonders if it's afraid or simply fights by simple compulsion.

Like she fought the grip of her parents' control to finally find herself amongst sisters.

"You're safe." She whispers, thumb brushing.

Their eyes are black. Small but wide as it looks up at her with a form of indignation.

How strange it felt to see herself in a bird.

"Beatrice?"

She looks up to find Ava standing by the doorstep. Her eyes flick to the open window, then to the wet spot to the floor and at last to the bird in her hand.

"You forgot to close the window." Beatrice says.

Ava walks closer. "Oh my god, did it fly inside?"

"It did. I believe it was trying to seek shelter."

Her eyes glint with awe. She's still ignoring the open window. The storm. The way the hair on her neck stands on end by the cold. "Bea, I need to hold it."

"It needs to be released outside."

Her head tilts to the side and she rocks forward on the heels of her feet. "Come on, just for a minute? I'll let it go afterwards." Her eyes are pleading, soft but still stubborn and Beatrice can physically feel her resolve slip.

Christ.

"Fine." She says, giving in far too easily for her own liking.

Their fingers brush as she transfers it to Ava's hands and she holds on just long enough to make sure it doesn't escape. Her skin tingles from the contact. Her hand curls by her side as she watches Ava bring it closer to her chest.

"She's gorgeous."

"It's a male. You can see by the bright rustic colour on his chest and yellow bill. Females are generally much duller in appearance."

"Oh, sorry." Instead of directing the apology to Beatrice she directs it towards the bird.

He doesn't seem at all amused.

Ava's nose crinkle. "I'm not sure he likes us very much."

"He probably just feels trapped." Beatrice mumbles, more so to herself than anyone else. The snow had come down for days. They hadn't been able to go anywhere for a while and it's making Ava restless. And bored. So bored that the most interesting thing was a bird flying into their living room.

"Can we keep it?"

"Absolutely not."

There's a pause where it looks like she's gearing up to protest.

The bird chirps, stirring in her grip and she looks down and sighs. "Alright, okay. Fine." She walks up to the window, opening it a little wider so she could lean out and release it.

It bursts from her uncupped hands and into its element, dipping past the little store on the other side of the street, wingbeats spasming before it disappears between a large pine tree weighted by snow.

She closes it after her and the room goes silent. The sound of the wind whistling as it drags against treetops seize to exist.

As if they were in a space completely detached from everything around them. From the world.

How risky that could be. How invisible Beatrice could feel.

Maybe now - in this span of time, she could dare to be bold. She could dare to finally, finally, break that tension that seemed to lay between them.

The thread could loosen and she could take a step forward.

“Ava-”

“You know, if I were a bird I think I would want to be a robin.”

Beatrice brows crinkle. Ava always had a talent for catching her off guard. “Why?”

Ava shrugs. “Rumours say they appear when loved ones are near.”

It's said so casually Beatrice has to repeat it in her head a few times before processing it. Loved one? Did Ava believe…

Ava's eyes fall to the space between her neck and her collarbone. “Bea…” She walks closer, Beatrice breath stutters when she leans forward, body close and fingers brushing over the collar of her shirt before she straightens up. “It dropped one of its feathers.”

She exhales. “Ava.”

The feather is brown, pinched between her thumb and index finger as she inspects it with more attention than Beatrice thinks it deserved.

She's right here.

“This one is definitely going in my collection.”

Beatrice huffs, something between a laugh and pure bewilderment. “Ava.”

Ever since they came to Switzerland, Ava had had a tendency to collect small trinkets that normally would be uninteresting. Like the smooth black stone from the lake where they trained or a broken part of a wine bottle she dropped on her first week as a bartender.

Finally, Ava turns her attention towards her, lips setting into that adorably confused frown. “What?”

“Do you believe the robin flew in here for a reason?” She's not sure why she asks. Not sure why a part of her wants to know. That itching, restless part who couldn't stop analysing everything between them like that would make a connection.

“Do you want there to be a reason?” The question seems genuine, curious even.

Her hands ball into fists. She inclines her head.

“Hey.” In the next breath Ava is in front of her, taking her hand in her own. She's gentle, nudging at her fingers to make her open up. Her thumb skims over her palm in a hesitant motion. “I was joking, promise. I mean if I was a bird I would probably just fly headfirst into class or some shit, so not a good fit for me.”

Beatrice huffs, not helping the small smile that slowly tugs free. “You know that's not at all what I mean.”

“I know.” She laughs, eyes softening. “It's okay.”

It's okay. It's okay.

Her chest swells. She exhales, breath shaky as she search for some sort of hesitance. Ava is looking back at her, unmoving - for a change - seeing if she gets it. It's okay. For so long she'd held herself back, refusing to get close to anyone or anything. For so long she's been terrified to let her guard down.

But Ava takes her hand and it's like everything falls apart. All her restraints. All her doubts. Leaving only her left in its entirety.

Ava watches her as if she knows. As if she understands.

For once, it doesn't scare her.

She intertwines her fingers with hers.

“Okay.”

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

[ladybeug]

I drew the same comic twice because I didn't think the first one was funny enough. I don't know if the second comic is funnier though??

Here's both of them

Side by side because i couldn't decide which one to put first - knowing the punchline changes the experience?? pick your adventure. read either one first.

which ones funnier i honestly can't tell

[pondphuwin]

bed friend, episode 3

middleman's love, episode 3

[theactualsunshinechild]

I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!

That's right. Two hands.

One for his chalk.

One for his codex.

Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[cinnamonsikwate]

"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White

[thefabulousfab-3]

The world when people realize that trailers are edited to make things seem more dramatic and also they are only two minutes long and every scene is out of context.

[rebouks]

[grandpappys-chinstrap]

John Kramer never wanted Mark Hoffman as a convert. Mark is and was always meant to be a tool for John to use. Since Mark's game of Russian roulette that did not require a true "offering," such as murder or pain which for John was an manifistation of the individuals will to live, Mark's identity as a convert is at best loosely based upon John's need for physical strength and more hands to create the great gears of his games. This distinct difference in Mark's game and therefor conversion story and apprenticeship creates a deep divide between his role and the role of both Amanda Young and Lawrence Gordon.

In this essay...

[acrazybayernfan]

December the 6th: Bayern-Bayer Leverkusen (1-0)

[whos-hotter-jjba]

The Jojo DILF Face-Off

[tunakitchen]

im pretty deep into liking arkanis at this point but it hasnt hit qsmp level obsession yet. i think the quickest and easiest way to hit that obsession level is if theres a f/f pairing in the server ♥️ not that yuri is the only way to my heart but its probably the easiest way. due to my nature.

[chocottang]

the more i think abt goldica the more i like it

[otaku553]

so you know how I've been talking about the Kazuha Demon Slayer crossover for ages now?

Hahahaha

Chapter 1 is out :)

[scorittanius]

cherubs should get social behaviors. as a treat