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axemetaphor · 3 years

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im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

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imaginedisish · 5 years

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Let It Be (Crowley x Reader) Good Omens

A/N: OOOOHHH MY GOD HEY GUYS SO IM OFFICIALLY BACK!!!! I’m a little bit rusty, so this first imagine is probably going to be a little bad. BUT!!! IM BACK. OMFG IM SO HAPPY AHHHH!!! So this imagine is half based on a request about Crowley and the reader starting out as friends, and then beginning to date, and half just something I needed to write. Life has been hard, but writing this helped. The title, and some parts of the imagine are based on Let It Be by The Beatles. I hope you guys enjoy!!! Keep requesting!!! AHHH!!! IM SO EXCITED TO BE BACK YOU HAVE NO IDEA. ENJOY! (P.s I will write for our ineffable husbands...pls just request)

Summary: Crowley comforts the reader after the reader receives devastating news. Crowley takes the opportunity to reveal a secret he’s been keeping for a long time. (College au)

Warnings: Language, depressive thoughts, depression, mental breakdown, some angst, overall sadness, mentioned and implied death of loved one(s). OH AND FLUFF AS ALWAYS ITS FLUFFY DONT WORRY.

Word Count: 1,964

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

You anxiously shuffle around your apartment as Let It Be by the Beatles plays from the record player in your dining room. The wood floors underneath your feet are cold and unwelcoming; a sharp chill rolls down your spine. The city lights glare through your window as the sound from the streets below boom throughout your apartment. Tears begin to fill your eyes, making everything around you a blurry mess. At this point, it had all become far too much for you to handle.

This year had been a terrible one. You felt as though you were consistently losing everyone around you. It lead you to question whether or not anything had a purpose anymore. Everything had been out of your control for so long, that it seemed as though things could never go back to normal. You were waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel, but it was nowhere to be seen.

The final straw, unfortunately, was the passing of your aunt. The worst part of it all was how far you were from your family. You were a junior attending NYU, and the semester was about to end. All you had to do was take finals, and you were free for the summer. Then, suddenly, your mother called you with the news. You felt numb, useless, and purposeless. Life seemed so dark, so short, so impossible.

What am I supposed to do now? You think to yourself. What’s the point of all this? You begin to sob uncontrollably. You know your neighbors can hear you through your walls, but you don’t care anymore. It was all too much for you to deal with.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice, dragging you away from your dark thoughts. “Hello? (Y/N)?”, the voice calls, followed by a knock at the door. You stand up, trembling as you walk towards the door.

“Crowley? I-Is that y-you?” You stutter, sniffling as you try your best to be loud enough to be heard through the door. You wanted it to be him with everything in you. Crowley had been there for you since the beginning of college. Through thick and thin, he stood by your side.

You two had met in Central Park in September of your freshman year, and coincidentally realized you both were students at NYU. Something drew you together, and you two had been close ever since. Aside from your tastes in music, you and Crowley were polar opposites. He was tough, and had a sort of “bad boy” exterior. You on the other hand, were soft and kind. You were an English Major, and Crowley was a Chem Major. You were like an angel, and he was much more like a demon. In many ways, you two balanced each other out.

What Crowley was completely unaware of, however, were your feelings for him. Practically from the day you met him, you knew Crowley was going to be an important part of your life.

You knew you were going to fall in love with him.

“Yes, of course it’s me. Now let me in,” Crowley commands. Without hesitating, you swing the door open.

There was Crowley, his red hair spiked up, his black, circular sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

Crowley removes his sunglasses from his face, something he rarely did. He looks you up and down, quickly recognizing that something was wrong. He noticed the red blotchiness of your face, and how tangled your hair was.

He looks down at your hands, which are shaking uncontrollably at your side. A concerned look appears on Crowley’s face. He steps inside quickly, and slams the door behind him.

You instantaneously feel his arms wrap around your body, pulling you tightly into his chest. “I don’t know what happened, love, but I’m here,” Crowley whispers in your ear, shocking you a bit. He was normally much tougher than this. Seeing this side of him was different. It was far from the Crowley you had come to know.

“Whatever you need, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” Crowley says as you grip onto his shoulders, and dig your face into his chest.

You two stay like that for a bit, until you calm down enough to separate from him. Crowley brings a hand to your face, softly wiping away your tears with his thumb. You sniffle softly, waiting for Crowley to ask for more information.

He opens his mouth. “So, do I get to know what happened?” There it was, the question you were dreading.

“M-my…” You trail off, unable to finish your sentence. Crowley grabs your hands, holding them in his own.

“You can tell me, love. I’m here,” His yellow eyes meet yours as they beg for some sort of a response. It’s clear his intensions are good. It’s clear all he wants to do is help. This was so out of character for Crowley. He was never like this.

“My aunt died, C-Crowley,” You struggle to say as your stare travels from Crowley’s eyes to the floor below you.

You can feel Crowley’s grip on your hands grow tighter. “I’m so sorry love,” Crowley says, stepping closer to you. “What do you want me to do?” He asks, his hands refusing to let go of yours.

“J-just stay with me, please,” You whisper.

“Of course, (Y/N),” Crowley says, pulling you back into his arms. You press your face against his chest as his cologne fills the air around you. He smells like vanilla and cigarettes. The two scents somehow balance each other out. “Is there anything else I can do to help?” He asks.

“N-nothing, Crowley. There isn’t anything anyone can do,” You manage to say. “Honestly I don’t even know what to do anymore,” You pause, catching your breath. “School is so fucking hard. I really don’t think I can do this anymore. It feels like absolute hell. I keep losing people, and I’m so sick of it. I can’t fucking do this anymore. I mean it.”

Crowley lets go of your hands. “Well, you aren’t going to lose me.” He steps even closer now, his nose just inches away from your face. “And you can count on that, alright?”

You’re taken back by his words yet again. Crowley wasn’t one for emotions like this.

Regardless, you nod your head in response. “Alright.” More than anything else at this point, you feel confused. Crowley has never acted like this before. It was a side of him you had never seen. Of course, over the years, he had obviously helped you through things. However, it was never like this. It was usually tough love, or advice; never the “mushy” stuff.

He walks further into your apartment now, finding his way to the kitchen. He opens your fridge, and takes out a dark, red apple. He opens one of your drawers and finds a knife, and he proceeds to cut the apple up.

You look at him, confusion clearly written all over your face. “What? You need eat something. Go sit down while I get this ready. I’ll make you some tea too,” Crowley says softly.

You’re even more confused than before. “This just…” You don’t even know what to say anymore. “This isn’t like you, Crowley,” You say, a slight smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

“What do you mean, love?” Crowley asks, busy at work in the kitchen. “Am I not allowed to take care of you?”

Your smile grows bigger. “No, it’s just not like you to be…well…”

Crowley finishes your sentence. “Caring? Loving?” He giggles a bit. “Well, it’s you, so it’s different.”

Different? You think to yourself.

“What about me is different?” You can’t help but ask, making your way into the kitchen now.

“Everything,” Crowley says, his eyes stuck on the apple he was cutting. “That was actually the reason why I came by, tonight (Y/N). There’s something I need to tell you.” Your heart jumps into your throat. Crowley had never been this vulnerable with you.

Your mind is racing with thoughts. Could this actually be happening right now? Could Crowley actually have…no, no way. Crowley will never feel for me the way I feel about him, You think.

“What do you need to tell me?” You ask, stepping closer to Crowley. He puts the knife down, and takes a deep breath. He seems stressed, uneasy.

“Never mind. Now isn’t the right time. You’re going through so much right now, and I really don’t want to add more stress unto you,” Crowley says, shaking his head and picking up the knife again.

You take another step towards him. “You could never add more stress to me, Crowley. So, tell me what’s on your mind.”

Crowley puts the knife down a second time, and closes his eyes. “I, well…you see I…” he trails off, opening his eyes, staring deeply into your own. “I don’t know how to say this.”

“Just say it, Crowley.”

“I’m not good with all this ‘feelings’ bullshit. I’ve already done far more emotionally in the past five minutes than I have in my entire life. Can’t I just get a free pass? Save this whole speech for another day?” Crowley groans, stepping away from the counter.

“Speech?” You ask. “What speech?”

“Nothing,” Crowley says, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Oh come on. Just tell me Crowley!” You beg.

Crowley says nothing.

“Say it already. How hard can it be to-,”

“I’m in love with you,” Crowley blurts out.

“I-,I…” You’re at a loss for words. You had been waiting for Crowley to say that for three years, and you were convinced it was never going to happen.

“I knew I was going to fall in love with you that day in the park,” Crowley says, his yellow, golden eyes searching yours frantically. He brings a hand up to comb through his red hair. “Every day from there on out was better because of you.” He pauses, collecting his thoughts. “I know you don’t feel the same, but I just had to get this out of my system. I love you, (Y/N), and I have for quite some time. I just couldn’t keep ignoring it. I couldn’t just let it be anymore.”

“Crowley, I-,”

“I’ll go now. I’m so terribly sorry for this,” Crowley says, making his way towards the door.

“Crowley wait!” You say, following after him. “I love you too,” He stops in his tracks, and whips around to face you.

“Y-you love me too?” Crowley asks in disbelief.

“Yes, of course I do, Crowley.” You say. “I’ve loved you from the very beginning.” He stares at you, dumbfounded.

“Are you serious right now?” He asks.

You roll your eyes. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He takes a few steps closer to you.

He cups your right cheek with his hand. “Then I’m sorry I’ve waited so long to do this,” Crowley says. Suddenly, his lips come crashing down on yours.

His lips are soft and warm. The moment fills you with the sense of purpose you once thought was lost.

Crowley pulls his lips apart from yours.

“Better late than never,” You say, a smile spreading across your face.

And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree

There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see

There will be an answer, let it be

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buoyantsaturn · 6 years

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Liability [Reprise] (2/2)

a/n: happy last day of solangelo week!! it's been a great time yall and now i'd like to apologize for what youre about to read!! youre gonna cry, and not just because solangelo week is over, but because i'm a monster! i hope you enjoy it and dont hate me too bad after its over!!

part one here

read it on ao3

On the first day of Will’s second year in residency, he collapsed in the middle of the emergency room. He was diagnosed with severe exhaustion and dehydration and prescribed bed rest and a lot of fluids.

He woke up in his own private room, groggy and disoriented, with a clearly upset Nico sitting at his bedside.

“How are you feeling?” Nico asked, irritation evident in his voice.

“Tired,” Will croaked.

“I told you so,” Nico said, and Will rolled his head to the side to look at him, though he didn’t respond. “I told you this would happen,” Nico continued, voice rising in volume. “I told you that if you didn’t slow down, then something like this would happen. Do you get it now? Do you get that you’re killing yourself and that it’s time to quit whatever stupid game you’re playing? Just--” Nico sighed and grabbed one of Will’s hands between his, pressing his lips to his knuckles before he whispered, “Just come home with me. Come home, and we can stay in bed for a few days, and after that we can...we can do anything, whatever you want. We can travel all over the world, or we can find some...some volunteer work somewhere to keep us busy. We could get a dog or a cat, or become temporary foster parents, Will, we could have a family.”

“Being a doctor is my dream,” Will told him. “I’m not giving up on my dream.”

“So take a break instead,” Nico argued.

“I’ll take as long as I need to recover,” Will shot back. “As soon as I’m cleared, I’m coming back to work.”

They stared each other down in silence, daring the other to say anything more. Nico felt his chest constricting more and more with every breath, and his eyes began to sting with forming tears. He broke eye contact and stood up abruptly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket - it was times like this that he most missed his oversized bomber.

“Fine,” he croaked, and he left the room.

He barely made it five feet from the door before he broke down, collapsing and sobbing into his hands.

They were twenty eight when Will spent his last one month in the Underworld. He seemed to finally be taking Nico’s advice to rest and relax and spend time with his boyfriend of over ten years. They would have lazy mornings in bed and take romantic walks through Persephone’s gardens (and Will had long gotten over whatever he’d had about having sex in Hell). They were happy again, happy like they were teenagers again, before Will had eaten that pomegranate seed and doomed his own life.

They were so incredibly happy, except for the times that they weren’t.

Whenever Nico brought up even the possibility that Will stop doing surgery or even take the shortest of breaks, it was like something in Will snapped. They would argue for entire days and end up sleeping in separate rooms. They would scream at each other until one of them would leave the room to avoid saying something they would regret.

One minute they would be talking about the idea of getting married. The next would end with a slamming door and objects thrown at the wall out of anger.

It was near the end of the month that Nico reminded Will that he should take it easy when he returned to work, so that he wouldn’t collapse on the job again. Of course, since it was a sensitive subject, Will’s frustration with his boyfriend spiked once again.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, trying to keep his cool.

“Maybe, but you know how tired you usually are after being here for so long,” Nico argued. “You’re not as healthy as your coworkers, and you might not be able to keep up with them--”

“I’m fine,” Will shouted, rising to his feet and stepping closer to get in Nico’s face. “I’m perfectly healthy. And when we get back home, I’m gonna show you how healthy I am, got it? I’ve got a long life ahead of me. I have a ring for you at home, hidden in my sock drawer, because I know I am going to live long enough to marry you.”

Will’s words were like a knife stabbing into Nico’s back. He knew Will didn’t have much time left. His estimation of mid-thirties was going to fall short; Will would be lucky to see the new year.

Nico folded his arms across his chest and dropped his gaze from Will’s eyes. “I’d say yes,” Nico said softly, but his gaze hardened. “If you lived that long, I’d say yes, but I’m not stupid.” He turned away, walking toward the door, but stopped before he left the room. “I’ll ask Alecto to take you home in a few days. Don’t expect me to be there waiting for you.”

And he walked out.

He couldn’t bare to return to the surface for more than a few hours - the risk of seeing Will was too high. He asked his father for errands to run instead, to keep his mind busy, and when he sensed that it was time, he shadow traveled into their apartment - uncleaned, since Will never had the time or energy to bother with organizing - and dug around in Will’s sock drawer until the found the ring box.

Will didn’t make it back to the apartment that night.

One second, he was at work, running toward the ambulance bay to intercept an incoming trauma. And the next he was kneeling at the foot of Hades’s throne, feeling lighter and stronger and more relaxed than he’d ever remembered feeling.

“You’re an idiot,” Hades called down to him, and Will glanced up to see the god towering over him, probably intending to look more intimidating than usual. “I do not understand what my son sees in a child of Apollo, especially one as stupid as you. However, I love my son, and he has loved you, so I supposed I can tolerate an eternity with you, if that is what Nico chooses. If he welcomes you back, then you may spend your afterlife with him in the Palace.”

“Thank you, Lord Hades,” Will said, bowing his head again. “Um, is he here, somewhere?”

“In his chambers, waiting for you,” Hades answered, and so Will got up and left.

He tried forming his apology in his head as he walked down the long halls to Nico’s room, but there was too much to say and his thoughts kept getting jumbled. What could he even say to get Nico to take him back? Why would Nico want him back, after the things he’d said and done?

He walked up to Nico’s door without a single coherent thought in his head, but he knocked on the door anyway, opening it once he heard a response from within.

Nico was sitting on the bed, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, gaze locked on the floor, darker-than-usual circles under his eyes.

Will walked forward and dropped to his knees in front of Nico. “I’m so sorry,” Will started, and his composure broke instantly. “You were right, and I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I was so focused on being a good doctor that I neglected you and only thought about myself, and-- Shit, Nico, I’m so sorry.” He choked out a sob, furiously trying to wipe away his own tears before they splashed against the tiled floor. “I’m such an idiot, I should have been there for you, I’ve been acting so stupid for so long. I don’t deserve you, and...and you don’t deserve someone like me, and I know that, but-- I know now how wrong I was for the last...however many years, and I know I don’t deserve another chance, but please, give me a second chance. Or third, or fiftieth, or however many, just one more. I don’t want to spend another second without you, and I want to make up for how shitty I’ve been. I love you, Nico, I love you so much, please forgive me.”

Nico stood up, and Will had to dry his tears to see that Nico was holding out a ring box - the same one that Will had had in his sock drawer. That was Nico’s ring, and he was giving it back. Will felt his heart break all over again.

He reached up with a shaky hand and took the box from Nico. “That’s...a no, then. Huh. I...don’t know if I was expecting that, or not.”

“No, stupid,” Nico said, and Will did expect the anger in his voice. “You’re already on your knees, so I’m telling you to put that ring to good use.”

“You want me to…? You mean, you’re not mad at me?”

“I’m pissed at you,” Nico clarified, “but I’ve always loved you more than I could ever manage to hate you, so are you going to ask, or not?”

Will blinked up at him a few times, then glanced down at the ring box. He cracked it open slowly, presenting the ring, and said, “Nico di Angelo, will you spend an eternity in Hell with me?”

Nico lowered himself to his knees and cupped Will’s face in his hands before pulling him in for the softest, sweetest kiss. “Of course, Sunshine.”

Will let out another sob as fresh tears started to fall and he collapsed forward into Nico’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his fiance’s waist.

“I missed you so much,” Nico whispered into his ear, allowing a few of his own tears to fall as he stroked Will’s hair. “I love you, you big idiot.”

Will pulled back and leaned his forehead against Nico’s. “I’m gonna make it up to you, for everything. I’m going to spend the rest of eternity making you as happy as I possibly can. I’m gonna give you the greatest wedding the Underworld has seen since Hades and Persephone’s. Anything you want, just say the word.”

Nico smiled, and it felt so much easier than it had in so long. “All I need is you.”

buy me a coffee | more about solangelo week

#mine #my writing #character death tw #solangelo #solangelo week #nico di angelo #will solace

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vampyjoong · 7 years

Text

Can You Feel What I Feel?

What about a Coups soulmate au where when one of them experiences a really strong emotion, say being furious or sobbing, the other one feels it too. And the farther they are from one another, the stronger the emotion is for the affected one feeling the other’s pain. I love your aus by the way!

the only reason for this gif is because of how much it hURTS ME THAT IS ILLEGAL

2.2k words unedited can you tell coups is my bias

growing up, you were a cry baby

every little thing made you cry

not enough to furiously sob but enough for a child to be called a cry baby

once when your fish did you were so so upset

and baby coups was left in the middle of the shops with his mum crying like his own fish died times 10

he wasn’t sure why he just broke out crying

he was just looking at soup

when you were 13, you didn’t know who your soulmate was so you started dating someone else who didn’t know either

life was going well, sometimes you had spells of crying intensely, or you’d be very happy suddenly and for a long time

never thought much of it, just mood swings

you and this guy Duncan had been dating for 4 years and you were in love with him, you really were

you had been talking about getting married, and about asking a red string specialist to tie you two together

one day he sent you a text though

‘we need to talk, come see me after class’

you were kinda worried but you did anyway

and when you got back to your shared flat, you knew something was bad from how he looked at you

he sat you down, and told you that he found him

he didn’t realise that the singing in his head was his soulmate until he went into the music department and heard him singing

they met and they were in love at first sight

it was over and you had to move out

you were accepting but as soon as you walked into your friends house, you broke down

four years were over

seungcheol was with seventeen when suddenly it felt like he was dying

his heart was breaking and he was on the floor screaming with tears streaming down his face

if he didn’t know before he knew now that you are the cause of it all

seventeen were about to call the hospital when seungcheol told them its fine he knew why this was happening

after an hour or two it calmed down

thankfully

you were sitting with your friend who was showing you things she liked to try and calm you down and distract you

she was showing you music to cheer you up

she showed you a song called dont wanna cry cos she knew the irony would make you laugh

it did thankfully and you had started to calm down

the song itself was really really nice and you were in love with the band

you got your friend to show you more of them, and soon you were watching one fine day and laughing hard enough to cry

seungcheol was confused as to why he was now laughing his head off after crying intensely

you were asking your friend about them all when it got to the leader

he was the most attractive out of them all to you tbqh

she told you more about him that the others which you were thankful for

he seemed so funny and hilarious and everything you wanted in a guy absolute babe i love him

he was such a dad to the rest of the guys and it was adorable

you were called the mum of your friends so you found it lovely

even your friend noticed that you two were basically perfect for each other

so you started to listen to seventeen more and watch more of their stuff

and with every song and every show, you fell in love more

you and your friend fangirled when new things came out

you had some odd mood swings every now and then

it normally correlated with the award shows but you never realised

until you were watching an awards show live and the second before Seventeens name got announced, you suddenly felt so happy and proud and about to cry

and you did, and your friend looked at you so strangely

“yo you good?”

“i dont fucking know, i get like this sometimes”

your friend, who was majoring in soulmate studies had an idea

“what if, hear me out here

you can feel their emotions”

she sounded like she was the smartest person in the world

you hadn’t thought about it until then but it could make sense

your mood swings would be explained

so you an your friend started logging the times you had swings

normally it was after you had done nothing so you gathered that was the reason

s.coups was always being a proud dad of twelve and sometimes, when he would get mood swings he would be a worried soulmate

he had done some research, both reading and online (cos our bb coups is an intelligent man) and had read about many emotion soulmate connections

he had figured it was emotions but he needed to single it down to which branch

he had it down to two

Either the farther away, the more emotional the recipient was

the closer they were the more emotional

he just didn’t know which one

it was very hard to decipher

whenever he went on tours, sometimes the feelings would grow weaker and he couldn’t tell if was cos he was closer or farther away

you could sometimes feel his emotions grow weaker and you weren’t sure what happened

you and your friend looked it up and you came to the same two conclusions as seungcheol

your friend the genius decided it was probably the former

she honestly just guessed

you had hope that you would find them one day though

you kept up with seventeen though

you loved them to bits so it only made sense

when the new tour was announced, you were ecstatic

seungcheol was sitting around feeling kinda nervous about how carats would react to the news

when, not long after it was announced, he had a sudden feeling of happiness and excitement

he had a kinda silly thought and talked to jeonghan about it

maybe his soulmate was a carat

at first jeonghan didn’t think so but then he thought of the others that had found their soulmates so far and how some had been carats already

it was very very likely

so they entertained the thought for a while

every time there was a vlive with coups in it, you would be so happy

and then that would travel over to coups

he made some jokes that weren’t really funny to anyone else but him

and then he got butterflies in his stomach that didn’t belong to him

jeonghans theory was correct

now it was just down to you finding it out

when you got the tickets for the tour, you were about to cry

and coups the poor bb wasn’t much better

a few tears leaked and when woozi looked at him like ‘i can barely comfort one crying member please dont’

he tried to wipe them away and it worked thankfully

he didn’t know why you were crying but he knew it wouldn’t be too bad

the weeks leading up to the concert, the strength of emotions would fluctuate and it was seriously confusing

were they just constantly moving

yes they are honey bunch

you had butterflies every now and then but they weren’t as strong as they used to be

and then

it was the day of the concert

oh sweet lord were you excited

the whole day, seungcheol could feel his soulmates emotions fluctuating between weak and so strong

he’d read about what this could be and it could be happening when they’re close to each other

so he got the most nervous he’d been in weeks

and you could feel that something was going on with them but you had no clue what could be happening to make him that nervous

maybe he just had a public speech to make nehehehehehehe

when you were sitting with it about to starts nerves suddenly spiked and you felt like you were about to throw up

your friend helped calm you down thank the lord

and then it started

you were in love and coups could feel the affection swell

you also felt pride towards the group in front of you

and when he felt that he was even more confused but didn’t question it, it helped him get through the concert with ease

after the encore you were buzzing with energy

you knew it was over but you weren’t sad cos it was the best damn thing of your life and you’d remember it forever

you and the genius friend were walking around when you told her about the fluctuating feelings

and cos she was a nice friend she looked it up on her phone

and then looked back at you and started screaming “HES CLOSE”

she then proceeded to grab your hand and run around in random directions, stopping to ask if you felt anything

honestly i feel like I’m starting to base this friend off myself jeez

when you started to feel the emotions fluctuating more she ran harder, almost making you fall

when you got to a local coffee shops that was almost empty apart from a group of boys you could feel that it was one of them

your friend ran in nvm i dont run this much and almost yelled “YA ANYONE GOT SOME FUCKED EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW” yeah thats me as a friend

the group of boys were very confused until two of them translated it, it seemed like

then one raised his hand and came over with one of the translator friends

if you weren’t sure before, then you were now

it was him

your emotions were all over the place and it was hell

you felt like crying and jumping with joy and like your heart was about to burst out your chest

the guy standing across from you, while his face was covered by a mask and sunglasses, seemed to be se nervous

seungcheol was a nervous wreck tbqh

he had the most beautiful person ever standing in front of him and they could be his soulmate

joshua was next to him and was able to translate quickly for both pairs

he wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying because you were reaching up to take his sunglasses and mask off

he let you

your fingers were so close to touching his skin but didn’t

and when you took his mask off your friend gasped

and swore really really loud

you were speechless

your friend started explaining to his friend you were just at the concert

his friend laughed and took off his mask

and once more your friend swore

you were almost kicked out

until joshua apologised, gave the owner a dazzling smile and explained the situation

the owner was won over and almost asked joshua to marry him

you and coups were still staring at each other not moving

one of the girls sitting was about to come over and shoving your hand on his face until she was held back by woozi whispering things to her

seungcheol decided he was gonna be the one to kickstart everything this time and slowly raised his hand to your face

you leaned into his hand and as soon as your skin touched you could feel his emotions intensified more than ever before

he could feel yours and it amazed him how much unconditional love he felt and the pride

you could feel the admiration he had towards you and the nerves building up

when it stopped you realised that you had moved into him and he was now hugging you and kissing your forehead

normally you would have minded but you would allow it, as long as it was with him

seventeen was awing at the cute moment

until you realised that you could not speak a lick of korean and you didn’t think seungcheol was that good with english

the best friend, genius extraordinaire, and also possibly telepathically connected to you friend, also figured this out

josh looked understanding before calling over Vernon

they agreed that josh would teach coups english and vernon would teach you korean

it worked out well

you got everyones phone numbers before leaving

you could tell that coups got help from the others when he sent you a cheesy text

you learned a lot thankfully

and when you moved over to seoul, you moved into the shared dorm all the soulmates were living

immediately you were the mum of them all, and also of seventeen

it was funny how easily you and coups had so much control over everyone

they came to you two for advice

even had jeonghan in his soulmates body coming for some girl talk

you were a mum of an ever growing family and you loved it

sometimes when he went too far away you could still feel how he was, and you felt the sadness through the late night phone calls

you were always there for him when you felt the stress of it all come through your bond with him

he was there through your bad moods

he also knew when you got too angry and were about to literally fight someone

he always called you or hugged you to calm you

you were each others safety blankets

#seventeen #say the name seventeen #seventeen soulmate au #seventeen scenarios #s.coups #choi seungcheol #s.coups scenarios #soulmate au #s.coups soulmate #kpop #seventeen bulletpoint

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

Text

My Husband Isn’t My “Type”and He’s Definitely Not My Best Friend

“Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really? Because mine isnt.”

ByRobin O’Bryant

Im going to need everyone who has posted a Facebook status along the lines of, Happy Anniversary to my best friend and the love of my life! to form a line, so that in an orderly fashion, I can walk down said line and thump each of you right in the middle of your foreheads.

Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really?

Because mine isnt.

When people ask me how I met my husband, I usually just say, Church. You need to know someone pretty well before you say something like, God told me he was my husband and even though Im not used to hearing voices, I just went for it! Whats to lose, amiright?!

It was the summer of 1997, I was 19 years old and spending the break working in the office of a new evangelical church my mother had started attending.

My parents had just gone through a shocking divorce, and by shocking, let me just say that to this very day, almost 20 years after their divorce, Ive never heard my parents argue. Ever. They woke us up one fine Alabama Saturday morning and told us they had gotten a divorce a few weeks earlier and my dad was moving out. There was no warning shot fired, no attempt at counseling or reconciliation, just that one sucker punch when we werent paying attention. A year later, I broke up with my boyfriend of four years and my heart was still tender from both events.

Maybe I was naive to think I could bargain with God, but nevertheless, I laid out my terms in my journal:

Ill never give my heart away again. Im giving it to you. Maybe Im ridiculous to never want to date again, but if you could just give me a sign or something when I meet my husbandTHEN Ill date him and fall in love. I dont want to risk picking the wrong person again. After everything…I dont trust my own judgment. So a burning bush? Im not in a hurry. Im ready to go all Sister Mary Clarence about this (thats a Sister Act jokeGod gets me). So, please. Smoke signals? Something…

Before I headed back for the next semester, my older brother Matt and I decided to go to Texas for a Christian motorcycle rally with a family from our new church. (And yes, I do realize this story is getting weirder by the second.) It was kind of a Christian convention meets county fair/campgrounds, but with former Hells Angels who have converted and love JesusIm sure you have the perfect mental picture.

We borrowed a tent, loaded Matts car and joined a caravan of cars following the OBryant family to Texas. One of their sons, Zeb, was a year younger than me. But even if I hadnt been in my Sister Mary Clarence phase, I wouldnt have looked at him twice.

Zeb wasnt my type. My type was clean cut and all-American, the kind who wore lots of Polo shirts and khaki pants, possibly played golf and most definitely was a member of Key Club. Zeb rode a metallic blue 1976 Harley-Davidson everywhere he went, had a goatee that was a little longer than I thought sanitary and his naturally brown hair was bleached blonde and spiked in a manner not unlike Edward Cullensor Edward Scissorhands, for that matter.

Regardless, meeting Zeb began a weekend-long love affair with his vintage Harley-Davidson and Texas back roads. Every time Zeb jumped on his bike, hed give me a nod, Id hop on and wed take off. The rumble of the Harley and the twisting roads through the Hill Country almost hypnotized me. The wind blasted my face and ratted my hair as the sun warmed my jeans. I was careful to keep my hands gently on Zebs hips and to not lean too close against himSister Mary Clarence didnt want to inadvertently press any boobage against his back and give him the wrong idea.

We were sitting in a tent revival type of meetingfolding chairs and open air with the stars hanging low and lazy in the night sky. Our faces were still grey with the road dust and we smelled sweetly of sunshine and gasoline. I was sitting there with my Bible open on my lap when I had a crazy thought:

My husband is here somewhere…

My eyes scanned the crowd and as they did, they fell on Zeb, who was sitting to my right, ripped jeans and motorcycle boots propped on the chair in front of him. Now Im not saying I heard an audible voice, but something deep inside of me clearly shouted, Its him.

I knew from that moment on I would marry him. And its a damn good thing I was hearing voices that nightotherwise I wouldve totally missed it.

Zeb is my polar opposite. Hes an extrovert; Im an introvert. He loves nature and the outdoors; Ive wondered if I could get a PhD in Netflix. Hes calm, steady and always in a good mood. Im creative, a roller-coaster of emotions and quite franklyprone to hysterics.

I want a best friend who will tell me I need one more pair of shoes and a man who will remind me to save for my retirement account. I want to call my best friend when I feel Ive been wronged and hear her say, What a b*tch! I cant believe she said that to you! I want to be married to a man who says, Who gives a sh*t what she thinks? And I want to get into bed at night with a man who ignites things in me no one else can.

Zeb isnt my best friend.

I have never been so angry at my best friend that I fantasized about throwing a lamp or other miscellaneous piece of furniture at her head. I cant say the same for ole Zeb. For example, once our 3-year-old had walking pneumonia. Sadie was running a fever, listless and refused to drink anything. I tried all manner of juices, an assortment of sippy cups and silly straws all to no avail.

Zeb, will you go to the store and get some Popsicles? I asked.

Do you really think she needs sugar when shes this sick?

I think she needs any type of fluid she can get down because shes going to get dehydrated. So yes, I think she needs Popsicles. I replied.

Give her some water, Zeb advised.

I HAVE.

Try some juice.

Really Zeb? Ive tried everything. Thats why I need Popsicles. I was starting to get pretty pissed.

I just dont think she needs sugar. He said, again.

Noted. Now go to the store and get Popsicles. Please. I said please out loud but in my head I was screaming, YOU SOB!

He was as mad as all get out, but he went to the storevictory was mine! Sadie would be hydrated! All was well with the world…until he walked in the door carrying a box of 200 Otter Pops that werent even frozen.

Is this really happening?! I yelled, What the hell? POPSICLES, Zeb! Why is that so hard?

These ARE Popsicles! He yelled back.

No they arent! Theyll be Popsicles in 36-48 hours but they are most certainly NOT Popsicles right now! Why didnt you get frozen ones?

He looked me straight in the eye and said, I didnt know you could buy them that way.

Are you sure thats how you want to play this? Do you really want me to believe youre that stupid? I asked.

I dont know that Ive ever been so completely filled with rage. Over freaking Popsicles.

But thats the way it is with me and Zebwe are passionate and stubborn. Sometimes I think I might see myself on an episode of Dateline, Josh Mankiewicz strolling down our street as a camera pans wide and says,In the small town of Greenwood, Mississippi, everything looked perfect for Zeb and Robin OBryant…until one day, in a fit of rage, Robin did the unthinkable…

But then, in a split second, Zeb is there with eyes the exact same amber brown assunshine filtered through a beer bottle. He wraps his arms around me while Im standing at the stove cooking dinner. Hekisses my neck and his beard tickles my skin, Sorry, he whispers. And I melt.

Zeb isnt my best friend. Depending on the movie I want to see, Ill ditch him in a second for my girlfriends. But when things gets real, I dont care if anyone is standing with me but him. Hes my partner, my equal and without a doubt, my better half. Zeb is the peanut butter to my jelly, the yin to my yang, the spiritual Xanax to my eight-ball of coke.

Im also going to need all of you people who say, Thanks for the best 15 years of my life! to stand in a separate corner and await your own punishment, because marriage isnt easy, and it most certainly isnt all happy.

Id rather say:

I really appreciate you driving me to therapy every week.

Thanks for not leaving me when I act like a lunatic.

“Thanks for acting like you thought I was sexy for the last 16 years even though Ive gained and lost hundreds of pounds and my stretch marks look like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains.

I have lots of friends, hell, I even have lots of best friends…but there is and will always be, only one Zeb. Hes my husband and thats enough.

About the Author: Robin O’Bryant is the The New Times best-selling author of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. You can follow her on FaceBook as Robin O’Bryantor Twitter.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/10/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes-definitely-not-my-best-friend/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/06/10/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes-definitely-not-my-best-friend/

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jimdsmith34 · 7 years

Text

My Husband Isn’t My “Type”and He’s Definitely Not My Best Friend

“Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really? Because mine isnt.”

ByRobin O’Bryant

Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really?

Because mine isnt.

It was the summer of 1997, I was 19 years old and spending the break working in the office of a new evangelical church my mother had started attending.

Maybe I was naive to think I could bargain with God, but nevertheless, I laid out my terms in my journal:

My husband is here somewhere…

I knew from that moment on I would marry him. And its a damn good thing I was hearing voices that nightotherwise I wouldve totally missed it.

Zeb isnt my best friend.

Zeb, will you go to the store and get some Popsicles? I asked.

Do you really think she needs sugar when shes this sick?

I think she needs any type of fluid she can get down because shes going to get dehydrated. So yes, I think she needs Popsicles. I replied.

Give her some water, Zeb advised.

I HAVE.

Try some juice.

Really Zeb? Ive tried everything. Thats why I need Popsicles. I was starting to get pretty pissed.

I just dont think she needs sugar. He said, again.

Noted. Now go to the store and get Popsicles. Please. I said please out loud but in my head I was screaming, YOU SOB!

Is this really happening?! I yelled, What the hell? POPSICLES, Zeb! Why is that so hard?

These ARE Popsicles! He yelled back.

No they arent! Theyll be Popsicles in 36-48 hours but they are most certainly NOT Popsicles right now! Why didnt you get frozen ones?

He looked me straight in the eye and said, I didnt know you could buy them that way.

Are you sure thats how you want to play this? Do you really want me to believe youre that stupid? I asked.

I dont know that Ive ever been so completely filled with rage. Over freaking Popsicles.

Id rather say:

I really appreciate you driving me to therapy every week.

Thanks for not leaving me when I act like a lunatic.

“Thanks for acting like you thought I was sexy for the last 16 years even though Ive gained and lost hundreds of pounds and my stretch marks look like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains.

I have lots of friends, hell, I even have lots of best friends…but there is and will always be, only one Zeb. Hes my husband and thats enough.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/10/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes-definitely-not-my-best-friend/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/06/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes.html

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adambstingus · 7 years

Text

My Husband Isn’t My “Type”and He’s Definitely Not My Best Friend

“Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really? Because mine isnt.”

ByRobin O’Bryant

Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really?

Because mine isnt.

It was the summer of 1997, I was 19 years old and spending the break working in the office of a new evangelical church my mother had started attending.

Maybe I was naive to think I could bargain with God, but nevertheless, I laid out my terms in my journal:

My husband is here somewhere…

I knew from that moment on I would marry him. And its a damn good thing I was hearing voices that nightotherwise I wouldve totally missed it.

Zeb isnt my best friend.

Zeb, will you go to the store and get some Popsicles? I asked.

Do you really think she needs sugar when shes this sick?

I think she needs any type of fluid she can get down because shes going to get dehydrated. So yes, I think she needs Popsicles. I replied.

Give her some water, Zeb advised.

I HAVE.

Try some juice.

Really Zeb? Ive tried everything. Thats why I need Popsicles. I was starting to get pretty pissed.

I just dont think she needs sugar. He said, again.

Noted. Now go to the store and get Popsicles. Please. I said please out loud but in my head I was screaming, YOU SOB!

Is this really happening?! I yelled, What the hell? POPSICLES, Zeb! Why is that so hard?

These ARE Popsicles! He yelled back.

No they arent! Theyll be Popsicles in 36-48 hours but they are most certainly NOT Popsicles right now! Why didnt you get frozen ones?

He looked me straight in the eye and said, I didnt know you could buy them that way.

Are you sure thats how you want to play this? Do you really want me to believe youre that stupid? I asked.

I dont know that Ive ever been so completely filled with rage. Over freaking Popsicles.

Id rather say:

I really appreciate you driving me to therapy every week.

Thanks for not leaving me when I act like a lunatic.

“Thanks for acting like you thought I was sexy for the last 16 years even though Ive gained and lost hundreds of pounds and my stretch marks look like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains.

I have lots of friends, hell, I even have lots of best friends…but there is and will always be, only one Zeb. Hes my husband and thats enough.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/10/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes-definitely-not-my-best-friend/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161673020527

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allofbeercom · 7 years

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My Husband Isn’t My “Type”and He’s Definitely Not My Best Friend

“Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really? Because mine isnt.”

ByRobin O’Bryant

Is your husband really, truly your best friend? Really?

Because mine isnt.

It was the summer of 1997, I was 19 years old and spending the break working in the office of a new evangelical church my mother had started attending.

Maybe I was naive to think I could bargain with God, but nevertheless, I laid out my terms in my journal:

My husband is here somewhere…

I knew from that moment on I would marry him. And its a damn good thing I was hearing voices that nightotherwise I wouldve totally missed it.

Zeb isnt my best friend.

Zeb, will you go to the store and get some Popsicles? I asked.

Do you really think she needs sugar when shes this sick?

I think she needs any type of fluid she can get down because shes going to get dehydrated. So yes, I think she needs Popsicles. I replied.

Give her some water, Zeb advised.

I HAVE.

Try some juice.

Really Zeb? Ive tried everything. Thats why I need Popsicles. I was starting to get pretty pissed.

I just dont think she needs sugar. He said, again.

Noted. Now go to the store and get Popsicles. Please. I said please out loud but in my head I was screaming, YOU SOB!

Is this really happening?! I yelled, What the hell? POPSICLES, Zeb! Why is that so hard?

These ARE Popsicles! He yelled back.

No they arent! Theyll be Popsicles in 36-48 hours but they are most certainly NOT Popsicles right now! Why didnt you get frozen ones?

He looked me straight in the eye and said, I didnt know you could buy them that way.

Are you sure thats how you want to play this? Do you really want me to believe youre that stupid? I asked.

I dont know that Ive ever been so completely filled with rage. Over freaking Popsicles.

Id rather say:

I really appreciate you driving me to therapy every week.

Thanks for not leaving me when I act like a lunatic.

“Thanks for acting like you thought I was sexy for the last 16 years even though Ive gained and lost hundreds of pounds and my stretch marks look like a topographical map of the Rocky Mountains.

I have lots of friends, hell, I even have lots of best friends…but there is and will always be, only one Zeb. Hes my husband and thats enough.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/06/10/my-husband-isnt-my-typeand-hes-definitely-not-my-best-friend/

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