#me: makes a sideblog just to talk about community

[twosashi]

hi all! this is wendy @musashi. my tumblr blog was wrongfully terminated, i presume because i recently made a popular post that vaguely mentioned loving trans women and got sacked by the t/e//r////f mob's mass reporting campaign.

the official reason tumblr banned me was for "hoarding urls" which i very much did not do. i just had a lot of sideblogs, almost all of them active at some point or another. now no one can use those URLs because they are tied to a terminated account. if tumblr needed me to release some of the less active ones, i gladly would've.

it appears as though i was mass reported and tumblr just tried to find a reason to nix me because the ter//ve///s were clogging their pipes and i'm the easier answer to the trolley problem at their HQ.

many of these sideblogs are now gone, and i will be working to get them back up in time if i cannot get my account back.

i am putting on a brave face but i am fucking heartbroken. 14 years of my life were on that blog. that is literally half of my life on earth. countless pieces of art, memories, and snapshots of my adolescence and young adulthood just, like, gone. when i suffered from severe traumatic amnesia in 2016, it was that tumblr blog that helped me recall a TON of my life experiences & who i was. that blog literally saved my life.

with it i lose countless memories and almost 10k followers, as well as a community that i spent a very long time building up. tons of friends whos usernames i did not get, and anons who were never able to give them to me.

please share my story! my name is wendy. my old url was musashi. i liked ace attorney. i liked pokemon. i made youtube videos where i talked autistically about my faves. i liked to write, and make people laugh. i loved it here and i am sad tumblr has chosen to side with the mob instead of listening to that story. i have been here since 2010, and my blog and community meant so much to me.

please reblog this post. i am working hard to get my account back, but if i cannot, i want to find my friends and followers again.

[navybrat817]

Wish, Hope, Dream

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You thought a night would be long enough to clear your head, but a bit of doubt lingers in your mind. Word Count: Over 2.6k Warnings: Slight angst, insecurities, longing, Natasha and Sharon being both good friends and devil's advocates, ongoing AU, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) Previous Part of AU: We Don't Talk Anymore A/N: More Dreamboat and Butterfly from my Reconnect AU! Sorry again in advance, lovelies. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You thought having answers would give you peace and allow you to rest before facing Bucky in the morning. Oh, how wrong you were. The tussle between your mind and heart didn’t stop, giving you one of the worst nights of sleep that you could remember in a long time. At least your pillow had dried from your tears.

And what was it that you were crying for? Relief that Bucky had feelings for you or were you mourning the lost time you could’ve had together had you two talked sooner? Perhaps both.

“Just get up,” you mumbled, willing yourself to get out of bed and lay out a random sundress to wear.

You wondered if anyone else was awake as you showered and brushed your teeth. Guilt crept in for skipping out on game night. Whatever transpired between you and Bucky, you couldn't let any of those feelings bleed into the rest of the time with your friends. You had to suck it up no matter the outcome.

Glancing down the hall as you left your room, your gaze lingered on Bucky’s door before your footsteps moved in that direction. You raised your hand to knock, wanting to check on him and make sure he got enough sleep. Part of you was tempted to sneak in and crawl into bed with him. Not even completely for sex, which you did not need to think about, but to have him hold you close and assure you that everything would be okay.

And to stop torturing yourself.

But you let your hand fall. You didn't want to assume that he wanted to see you first thing upon waking up. Assumptions and not communicating were what led you on this path to begin with. But you didn't want to smother him.

We can still figure it out together.

You crept downstairs, spotting a few empty bottles from the night before. The main floor was dark, minus the sunlight coming in through the windows and the kitchen. You stayed quiet when you saw Natasha and Sharon huddled together in a hushed conversation by the counter.

Which stopped the moment you walked into the room.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were talking about you. Not with the concerned look in Sharon’s eyes. Natasha, on the other hand, stared back at you in contemplation. At least it wasn't pity. You couldn't take that.

Did Bucky tell them? Or did they figure it out?

“Hey. Sorry for skipping game night,” you said, shifting on your feet as your gaze flickered between them. “Guess Steve and Sam aren't up yet?” You asked, purposely not mentioning Bucky.

“Don’t need to apologize,” Sharon said, concern continuing to show in her eyes. “I think they’re getting a run in.”

“Oh. Gotcha,” you said. Looking between them again, you hoped things wouldn't be this awkward for the rest of the week. “Am I interrupting? I can just grab breakfast when you two are done.”

“Not interrupting. Go sit in the living room,” Natasha urged, nodding toward the direction of the couch. “Look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

“Smoothie?” You guessed, glancing around at the array of fruit ready for blending.

“Oh, yeah. Better than coffee,” the redhead teased as she threw a few pieces into the blender with some ice, bringing a small smile to your face as you went back to the living room. She was a good friend.

All of them were.

“You okay?” Sharon asked, sitting beside you on the couch.

You hesitated for a moment. You adored them and always would. But when it came to Bucky, you feared everyone would always side with him over you. Your chest tightened at the thought that if things went south you’d get left behind.

And hadn't you been left behind once before?

“Yes and no,” you answered, not wanting to expand completely yet as Natasha walked in and handed you a glass, your hands gripping it tight. They didn't need to deal with your issues, did they? “Did Bucky talk to everyone? I’m guessing he said something since you two are looking at me like I'm going to break.”

“We don’t think you’re going to break, but you look on edge,” Natasha answered, taking a seat when you didn't disagree. “The guys talked to him a little bit. He wouldn't give them all the details, but we know you two had a long overdue chat.”

“And the way you bolted upstairs last night and how he looked like a kicked puppy, we guessed it didn't go well,” Sharon added, raising an eyebrow. “I think Nat wanted to kick his ass.”

“He looked like he kicked his own ass. Would've just been rubbing salt in an open wound if I did anything else,” she said with no trace of humor. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It may help,” Sharon said.

Maybe.

With a deep breath, you told the girls what had happened. How you and Bucky admitted that you had feelings for each other, which neither of them appeared surprised by in the least, but that you walked away from him once the talk was over. How you wished you would’ve given him a chance then and there, but didn’t. It helped and hurt to tell them about it.

You hung your head by the time you finished, your throat tight. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, swallowing a little. “This is supposed to be a fun trip and I’m messing it up with my issues.”

Sharon rubbed your back as you took a sip of your smoothie. “Hey. You’re our friend. You didn't do anything wrong or mess anything up, okay? We all love Bucky, but he's an idiot.”

“Huge idiot. Don't know what you see in him,” Natasha winked as you scoffed. You would always try to see the good in him, even when you were upset. “But I have to say, I’m glad you two finally told each other how you feel.”

“Took you long enough,” the blonde teased halfheartedly. “Kind of hoped you would've said something before we showed up.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks. The gang ran late to the beach house on purpose. Of course, they did. The girls were perceptive. Always had been. “So, you knew.”

“Everyone knew, except for the two of you. What’s that trope?” Natasha questioned, her gaze directed at Sharon. “Idiots in love?”

“Oh, yeah,” she smiled. “You two are a walking romance novel, torturing yourselves for no good reason.”

“So, I'm an idiot then?” you said, narrowing your eyes when they both opened their mouths. “You know what? Don’t answer that.”

You beat yourself up enough.

“Like I said, I’m glad you told him and now you finally have confirmation that he feels the same way,” Natasha said, cocking an eyebrow. “What's the problem then?”

“What do you mean?” You replied.

“You said you took the night to think, but you don't exactly look like you're ready to move forward.”

“Because I don't know if I am,” you admitted.

You were overthinking the situation. You wanted to be with Bucky, but some of your wall was still up and you didn't know how to tear the rest of it down. Why was it so hard?

“Look, I'm not excusing what Bucky did because he's an idiot for going out with Dot instead of talking to you, but you know how he feels now,” Natasha began, diplomatic and level-headed like always. “Do you plan to keep him at a distance as a way to protect yourself? Or are you maybe punishing him just a little bit for seemingly abandoning you?”

Leave it to her to ask the tough questions.

“I'm not trying to punish him,” you promised. Both of you had punished yourselves enough. “I just don't want him to hurt me. I mean, I spent two years thinking he'd never want me, but he just didn't want to fight for me,” you said, tears brimming your eyes.

“Or maybe he thought he never stood a chance and settled,” Sharon said. “Which, again, he’s an idiot. Most guys are.”

“So, what are you saying? That I should just pretend the last two years didn't happen?” You asked.

“No,” they said in sync.

You huffed. Why were girls both direct and cryptic? “Then what are you saying?”

Natasha grabbed a tissue and handed it over when a tear slid down your cheek. “We’re saying that we think Bucky is genuinely sorry for his stupid assumption and wants you to be his girl. Start slow if you have to and set the ground rules. If it means him apologizing every day with his words and actions, he will. And we know if you gave him your heart, it would be the last thing he'd break. Don’t you owe it to yourself to be happy?”

“Yeah. Maybe just start with a date,” Sharon said, tilting her head when you didn’t say anything. They were only trying to help, but why did it feel like pressure of sorts? Did they fully understand your apprehension? “You really don't see how he looks at you, do you?”

“Why would I when I convinced myself he'd never want me?” You whispered.

Bucky had convinced himself of the same thing. Maybe the two of you were idiots. How long would you continue to torture yourself? They had a point. Why not start with one date and see where it led?

What would be the harm in that, besides risking your whole heart?

“Well, we see how he looks at you,” Sharon said, her eyebrows shooting up. “Wait. I have it.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Have what?” She asked. You wondered the same thing.

The front door opened before you got your answer, your heart skipping a beat when Bucky stopped in the doorway with a beach bag in hand. You realized after a moment that he was still in the same clothes he wore the day before, his eyes bloodshot as he looked your way. His hair was disheveled, too. He didn’t look like he slept well, if at all.

It broke your heart.

“Hey, Butterfly,” he croaked when you got to your feet, clearing his throat with a tired smile. “You look beautiful.”

“It’s just a sundress, Dreamboat,” you said, the compliment making your stomach flip before you took a step toward him. “Are you okay?”

His eyes lit up. “You’re still calling me that?”

“Of course, I am.” you smiled softly. He’d always be your Dreamboat. “Did you get any sleep?” You added, sighing when he confirmed your suspicion with a shake of his head. Had you been on his mind? “Why not?”

He gripped the bag handle like a lifeline. “I needed to find a way to say I’m sorry. Tried writing a letter and it wasn't enough.”

Your heart swelled, glancing back at the girls as they both gave you an encouraging smile. “Look. Before you do anything, why don’t you take a nap?” You suggested. “It’s still early and I’m not going anywhere.”

“A nap sounds like a good idea before volleyball,” Natasha said, leveling Bucky with a look. “In fact, why don’t you get him to bed?”

“Nat,” you hissed. Of course, she’d suggest you take him upstairs.

“Yeah, we’ll catch up with you two in a bit,” Sharon said.

The hopeful look in Bucky’s eyes was irresistible. “Come on,” you said, taking his arm once he kicked his shoes off. You felt his gaze on you as you took him up the stairs. It amazed you that he didn’t trip over his own feet since he kept his eyes on you. “I can tell you’re staring at me.”

“I half expected you to be gone this morning,” he said, opening his door. “I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

Your stomach dropped. “You think I’d bolt after the conversation we had?” You asked. Did he think little of you now?

He chuckled under his breath. “I said half expected,” he teased.

Instead of releasing your arm, he pulled you into his room before you could protest. It wasn’t a good idea to be there, yet there you were. Not fighting it as he pulled you toward the bed.

His large, inviting bed.

“So, what’s in the bag?” You asked curiously to distract yourself as he set it down and stretched out on the bed, pulling you down with him. He gave you plenty of room so you wouldn’t have to cuddle close. He also left the door cracked open.

He was giving you an out.

“I can’t show you yet because I have to put it together,” he yawned, giving you an apologetic smile. “It’ll spoil the surprise otherwise.”

A giddy smile appeared on your face. He was actually going to make you something. “I’ll be patient,” you said, letting him keep your hand in his.

“Haven’t we been patient long enough?” He asked, his hair falling in his eyes as he gazed at you. Even exhausted, he was breathtaking. “I know you needed the night to think it over.”

The smile fell from your face, silence stretching in the room before you squeezed his hand. “Bucky, you need to get some sleep.”

He couldn’t mask the dejected look on his face. It wasn’t an outright rejection, but you hadn’t exactly declared that you should move forward. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said, his voice thick. “All I could see were the tears in your eyes and knowing I caused them.”

“It’s okay,” you told him. It was an assurance for yourself, too. You were okay and he hadn't tried to hurt you.

“It’s not okay,” he argued, the familiar determination back in his eyes. “And I don’t want to sleep. I want to make you smile. I want to win you a stuffed animal at the carnival.”

“You promised me that at dinner yesterday,” you teased.

“I want to take you dancing,” he added, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

You could easily picture him smiling as he twirled you around and moved to the beat. Maybe that could be your first actual date. “As long as you don’t step on my feet.”

“I want to take you to bed,” he whispered,

You inhaled, your heart pounding at the implication. “Bucky…”

“I want to hear about your day. The little things, even the details that you think are mundane,” he said, scooting a bit closer. “I want to be the one you talk to and depend on again.”

Each declaration worked its way into your heart. Why couldn’t you just take the leap of faith? “We can’t just-”

“I want you to be my girl,” he said, his face inches from yours. “I want to give you everything.”

Your heart screamed at you to comfort him, kiss him, to tell him the same. “Bucky, you’re not giving me anything until you get some sleep,” you whispered, resting a hand on his cheek. He needed rest. “Please, for me?”

“I’m afraid if I close my eyes, I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone,” he whispered, fighting to keep his eyes open. “I can't lose you again.”

You didn't want to lose him either. “You won't lose me because I’m not going anywhere. I said we’d figure this out together and I meant that,” you promised, needing to give him hope. “Close your eyes. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He finally shut them as he breathed out, “Butterfly, I lo…”

You gasped as Bucky trailed off, smiling to yourself as your eyes misted over. You weren’t going to run. Not from him. Not when you owed it to yourself to be happy.

You told yourself that as his phone rang.

Even as Dot’s name showed on the screen.

It's fine, lovelies! 😭 Things will look up. Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[wackytheorist]

A love letter to qsmpblr because everyone's making one and I think appreciating your favorite pages is wonderful.

(I'm not the best at introductions but you guys really do mean a lot for me, so here's my story)

I never used to care about tumblr, I only had an account to check out the funny posts and maybe reblog them on my sideblog but this account was colorless. I was just wead(random text spam that I can't remember).

Why? Because socializing was(and still is) quite hard and handling a community online was way to much stress for me, an overthinker. Of course I made occasional vague posts in the heat of the moment but I never wanted to be considered a qsmpblrian.

But then came the qsmp reset, and wayyy to many thoughts in brain I began posting. Then came the ghosties arc and so I began liveblogging and theorizing and ignoring my overthinker thoughts because qsmpblr was a big community and no one cared for little ol' me right?

I was so wrong, and happy to be wrong because now, I regret nothing and this community is the 9th most important thing of my life.

You see I love appreciating people inside but when I try to talk about it, I stumble hence the weird wording

PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO THANK UNDER CUT

@ultra-raging-ghost You used to be my primary source of badboyhalo vlogging, thank you for catching me up to date. It was so fun go insane over badboyhalo with you, even if it was for a short time.

@kadextra I'm devouring your art oml, also loved to liveblog with your so cool omg.(I'm so so so honoured to be your mutual)

@alchemicaladarna Holy shit your brain please keep yapping if alchemicaladarna made a lecture on badboyhalo lore, you bet your ass I'd be there.

@q-starhalo , @rhiaarrow , @imferns , @pomme--bleuet and all the other bbh vloggers I couldn't mention for various reasons, thank you for your services o7

@iminyourbookshelf I loved chomping the heads of federation workers with you, your amazing and cool :D

@semifontos I've said everything I wanted to say everything in your reblogs but omg your writing is insane/pos

@tubborucho I didn't expect you follow back, your sosososososo very cool :D

@pommunist Thank you for your services to bringing us information about the qadmin situation(and for being the based af)

@ethertheaether The fanfiction on Omelete made my shitty month 2000x better.

@itsbebebrainrotting @faffodil @imnotasweetie @dotterelly @annimator @artistnerd24

@theroseyhues @lilghostlettuce @qsmp-extraordinaire Your reblogs make my day pippipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipi

@qsmpcryptid @insanitybl00m @adreamoverlife @etoilesbienne @sarcastictissy and a lot of blogs I can't all capture thank you!

@qsmpincorrect @qsmp-where-they-shouldnt-be @which-qsmp-egg-would and all the events that kept us entertained.

AND @YOU QSMPBLR USER!!

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

I'll be so for real right now, I am absolutely talking about the hotd fandom (via this meme that @emilykaldwen made and I had a giggle fit over).

It's not burnout that's driving people away from this fandom (and fandom in general). It's not even strictly the lack of engagement. Recently, the people most vocal about the lack of engagement are the ones who go out of their way to alienate other writers, who dm authors who don't reblog their fics and harass them in their private messages while never engaging with anyone's work. People have actually come into my dm's demanding I reblog their fic/asking why I haven't, and they had never engaged with me past a few "hi how are you" dms. In what universe is this acceptable? In what universe if this community building?

You wanna know why I don't reblog a lot of fic on tumblr? Why I'm mostly just on ao3 and commenting over there? Because tumblr fic, especially in the hotd fandom, has become a circle jerk. The care for the craft is mostly gone, there's little desire to write something well, only something that performs well. It's becoming just ooc porn with a character name slapped on so that people can imagine fucking certain actors without saying they write/read rpf. So many people bought into the tiktok driven need to reduce ourselves to content farms instead of making actual friendships and building a community and taking pride in our art/trying to improve on our craft.

I will be so for real right now, I have come to a point where I mostly just engage with my friends and their work on tumblr. And this is because some of the utter insanity I've seen since I waded into this fandom. The anons I've received in the last two years in this fandom rival even those I got when I was running an active Reylo sideblog that has since been deleted because of the "go kill yourself" messages I got (no, I don't care about your opinion on Reylo). Aside from the mine field of psychological warfare that fandom and fic is becoming, it also seems like there are so few people who want to craft actual stories. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the porn - x reader smut is where I got my start, and I have read some x reader fic that was incredible, that reduced me to tears. And yet, those fics, those authors, were never allowed to flourish because the author didn't live up the ass of a select few people on this site. This is why I've stopped promoting my work on this site. This is why I stay in my little corner.

y'all, i am exhausted. we have to do better than this.

[sneppu]

Hello! Welcome to The Sneep Zone

You may call me Nagi

Main blog: @nagoo

first and foremost: fuck jkr. i do not endorse her. i do not agree with her. we dont do that weird shit here.

we do different weird shit instead (bask in the decadence of The Sneep)

This sideblog is for me to post all my Snape art and Snape related ramblings! I am addicted to snape fics, and have found myself needing to make fanart for some of my favorite writers. such things will be posted here!

Severus Snape is my favorite guy!

I am known to refer to him as: Sneep, Snorp, Sneb, The Sneberous Sneb, The Snebulous One, He Who Sneeps In The Dark, SneepSnorp, Mother, Sneppu, El Sneepo, Snorpo, Snib, The Best One, The Only One That Matters, The Community Boyfriend, etc.

rest assured, I am talking about Severus Snape every single time

I ship him with everyone! yes, even [insert character].

I truly and genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, do not care even a little bit about The Grievances u may have about my ships or my sneeps.

in my ideal world, everyone would love and cherish Sneep. I tend to focus on marauder's era Snape

not to be rude, but i kind of only care about Snape really. the slytherins are cool and chill too, but i mostly care about how they interact with and potentially fall in love with The Sneep. the marauders are rat bastards and i ship them with Snape in a "grovel eternally for the scraps of his affection" kind of way. I am not sorry.

dont expect nothing serious from me unless im waxing poetic about Snape or heavily projecting my own Tragic Past onto him tbh, i am just here to draw Snape and shitpost about my favorite little guy.

i dont care that he's mean.

he shouldve been meaner, actually.

he's better than me and he's probably better than you too, because i wouldve absolutely lost it big boy style.

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

feeling rly unsafe 2day, but it's specifically bc of being a trans guy, i keep seeing stuff from cis women abt how men r always the worst and how men hav a duty 2 make their lives revolve around women or else we're sexist, how apparently men need 2 all b willing 2 lay down their lives 4 any woman or else we're just as bad as the creeps who make ppl feel unsafe 2 go out at night and yes i said people not just women but they only want 2 acknowledge it when it's a cis woman that's the victim

i did not fucking sign up for this

i did not fucking sign up 2 sacrifice my life either literally or thru dedicating my life only 2 others just because the pronoun "he" fits me better than the pronoun "she"

i should not hav 2 worry that im an inherently bad person because of being a gay trans man

i should not hav 2 worry abt being perceived as a threat bc of being a queer man of colour

i've honestly started to hav thoughts abt de-transitioning not bc being a guy in the way i am doesn't fit me but rather out of fear of the scrutiny every action of mine will b placed under

i was sexually abused as a child but i guess that doesn't matter anymore because im a man now, boys don't cry they punch ig, apparently since im a man now it means im destined 2 become that which hurt me

all i want is to be a man, in a nonbinary way yes but still a man (demi-guy), i want to love men who love me back, i want to live a quiet life surrounded by love and happiness, i want to live a gentle life

but no.... because im a man now then apparently it must make me predatory in some way

i can't de-transition... i know i wouldn't survive emotionally... so i stick with it, with allowing myself to be a demi-guy.... but it hurts knowing that me being free is perceived as dangerous, that im seen as inherently a threat to women

edit: so a terf started clowning this post, just 2 make this shit clear, this is not a fucking debate blog this is a me posting abt my feelings blog, i would've thought the url "my-traumacore-sideblog" would've made that clear

also no racism and sexism is not the same thing

yes women face oppression at the hands of men and should be allowed to talk about it but men also face oppression at the hands of women and should be allowed to talk abt it, 4 men who r not in a minority group this is usually in terms of legal stuff (how r*pe is legally categorised, custody disputes ect) but this is even more of an issue and more every day when it comes to men in marginalised communities, yk like me, yk like what i was venting abt in my fucking post i should b allowed 2 talk abt my own oppression 2 and acting like me venting abt my own oppression in a post tagged as a vent post on my vent blog makes me the same as my white oppressors is not only terf shit but also racist and it shows a lack of political literacy, a woman has just as much capacity 4 violence as a man but a queer man of colour is seen as inherently violent and a white woman is inherently seen as always being a victim but ur ok w/ these white women using that power of perceived vulnerability 2 call 4 violence against queer men and men of colour and especially queer men of colour just say u want cis women klansmen and leave im not backing down from talking abt my own oppression bc of white woman tears

anyways person who clowed is now blocked so don't bother trying 2 respond 2 my edit

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| Engagement ||

Matt Murdock x gn reader

Tags/warnings: mild angst, mild smut, meta, sorry not sorry I had to!!! 😂

As always, I adore and appreciate any comments, reblogs, etc and I'm extremely thankful to you for reading my fics!

~

Matt's arms tighten around you as you lie snuggled up together in bed. He can pick up on your disconnected mood from your elevated heart rate and the way he hears your breathing change every time you think about saying something and then stop yourself.

"You know you can talk to me, if something's wrong." He says quietly.

You take a deep inhale, sighing it out as you nuzzle into his t-shirt at his shoulder. "I know," you reply, choosing to ignore the invitation to unload.

He pushes a little harder in response. "Sweetie, you've been off for a while now, you think I hadn't noticed?"

"Urgh. It's stupid."

He turns his head to kiss you on the top of your head, giving you another squeeze. "I'm sure it's not, and talking about might help? If you want."

You huff out another sigh. "I dunno, I've kind of talked it over with others but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm not sure it's something I can fix."

Concern washes over Matt's features. "Is– is it something I've done? Or not done?" He gently takes your face in his hands. "Sweetheart, you'd tell me if it was me wouldn't you? I'd want you to."

You smile, bringing your hand up to stroke through his soft, messy hair. "Of course I would, and no it's nothing you've done, so don't fret."

The worry melts from his brow. "Alright, but c'mon, try me. I'm sure we can do something about whatever it is that's got you down."

"Well… it's work related. I'm not getting anywhere near as much feedback on my stuff as I used to. You know how in the creative sector we kinda thrive on others sharing our work to bring it to the attention of others? I've been feeling for a while now that the sense of community that we had has just sort of disappeared. People don't seem to want to interact that much with what we make."

Matt groans. "Baby, is this about the lack of reblogs on Tumblr again? "

You can't help frowning. "It is." You admit.

He smiles and rolls over to cage you underneath him. "I could make you forget about it, for a while at least?"

"Matty!" You push him off with a frustrated sigh. "Are you honestly trying to distract me with sex? You know how important this is to me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to trivialise the issue, I just thought I could take your mind off it, maybe make you feel better."

"So kind and selfless of you…" you smirk as he starts to kiss along the column of your neck.

"I try." He smiles. "Anyway, you were saying? And I'm gonna keep kissing you."

"Fine. Okay, so I know that I should create for myself and not for other people…"

"But it's nice to get some recognition, right?" You nod as Matt holds himself over you again continuing to make his way down your neck towards your collarbones.

"Right. I really do appreciate the likes, but if people are just 'liking' my work without sharing it, that means it just ends up dead in the water. No-one else really gets the chance to enjoy it."

"Any idea why they are not sharing?" Matt asks, lightly stroking your side.

"I dunno, maybe they're not familiar with how the site works, that it doesn't have an algorithm? Maybe they're embarrassed to let other people see what they're looking at? Especially if it's something a bit risqué."

Matt hums. "Yeah but didn't you tell me before that they could just create a sideblog that's not associated with their main account, and reblog things they like using that and no one would be any wiser?'

"Exactly! And anyway, it's not like everyone doesn't enjoy looking at and reading porn…"

Matt lifts his head up, a slight sly smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. "Mm true. So what else are you sad about?"

You sigh again. You can't seem to stop yourself.

"Well, people aren't commenting on works either. There's rarely any discussion, I mean even just a manic keyboard smash would be amazing for an artist to see in their notifications, but there's barely even that anymore. Commenting on a stranger's fan works is so much fun, it can really bring people together!"

"That's how a great community grows isn't it?" Matt asks you.

"Yep, and you end up making so many friends you would never have thought. I miss that aspect of it a lot."

Matt's swiftly moving down to lavish attention over your chest, and you momentarily lose your train of thought as his lips brush over your nipple. "And have you brought people's attention to this problem?"

"Of course! Many other creators have explained why reblogs and sharing are so important in eloquently written PSAs, but I guess that the target audience must not see them because they're perhaps only looking at the stories and fanart from tags and they maybe don't see the other dashboard posts. I dunno."

Matt starts to lick an achingly slow intimate path down your stomach and you feel heat spreading throughout your body, your heart rate now elevated for quite a different reason. Then suddenly, he stops.

"Have you thought about maybe incorporating the message into one of your creations? Maybe that might reach the intended audience better."

You close your eyes as you consider the idea. He shifts further down the bed and you allow him to spread your thighs apart and slot his shoulders inbetween.

"Mm, well… that's- actually that's a good idea. I mean, it can't hurt to try, can it? You're the devil on my shoulder Matty."

"Exactly. But leave it till tomorrow sweetheart. Right now this devil wants to make you feel good."

You bite down on your lip as he flashes you a smoldering look before ducking down to make good on his promise.

[ben-learns-smth]

re-introduction time, hi I'm Bente (they/he), Ben is also fine! formerly known as bennistudies

quick facts:

mid-20something wrapping up their master's teaching degree (english & german)

starting a new job as a substitute teacher in may (exciting but scary!) (that didn't happen, but other good things did!)

this is a somewhat-studyblr, definitely some langblr content and otherwise the usual meme, jokes, life update, bookish stuff

languages I'm currently learning: DGS (german sign language) & Norwegian

it's been a bit over five years since I joined the studyblr community with my old blog and I've learned so much from others since then but also I just really enjoy seeing everyone doing their thing and making it work, ya'll are so impressive!!

hyperspecific poll with fun facts to get to know each other is here

a more rambly hello under the cut:)

after I basically stopped posting on my old studyblr bennistudies last late summer, I realised that having to switch back and forth between accounts was the issue. I missed being active here! so to solve that, I've created this sideblog for easier access. hi, it's good to see you again :)

for those interested, I'll definitely leave little updates on how the job is going (as much as I'm allowed), especially when it comes to being a nonbinary trans teacher since a bunch of ppl found that interesting when I mentioned it on my old blog. posts related to that will be both under #mine and #bente does gender

originally, I expected to be done with my thesis already, which is why I have lots of language classes going on/starting rn. I have 4 lessons of german sign language level 2 left, level 3 starts this week as a parallel class though (posts will be under #bente learns sign language). last week I started norwegian a1 (#bente learns norwegian)!

other than that new focus on teaching and language learning, it'll be the usual chaos, rambles, and water drinking reminders though. I'm not even gonna pretend that I'm doing this for accountability, I just like sharing my cosy little corner of the world and seeing what you lot are up to

I still track #benniscup, please use it freely for any type of post! yes that includes rambles (if you want me to see and potentially reblog)

if you want to talk books, baking, plants or just about your day, please reach out!

tagging a bunch of my old mutuals and blogs I've followed for what feels like forever bc I appreciate you all and hope you know that: @septemberstudies @learnelle @studyingwithcatsandtea @veralernt @teacherstudiies @lattesandlearning @somerabbitholes @yourneighborhoodbibliophile @adelinestudiess @godzilla-studies @oneanxiousstudybuddy @gabiestudies @patchworkstudies (& the knife gang pals, obviously <3)

[dragon-communion]

Now that I've caved and made an entire St. Trina sideblog, it's time for me to truly become my final form: an unhinged anthropologist with the power to make headcanons to fill in the gaps of life and times in the Lands Between.

Fittingly for a story with intense Christian themes, the early stages of Marika's empire are intensely Roman. As such, I think it's safe to pull ideas from various sites around the Mediterranean. While there's little to no Egyptian influence, or indeed much from the northern edge of Africa period, Elden Ring manages to hit every other point from Spain (Lionel's armor, St. Trina's sword) all the way over to Iraq (Uhl= Ur).

So while figuring out what worship of St. Trina looked like on a wider scale, I've been tempted to utilize the concept of folk saints- saints not approved of or canonized by the Pope, typically having roots in an indigenous culture. While I don't think anything about her directly conflicted with Marika's goals, she's notably worshipped by factions that generally want nothing to do with the Erdtree (albinaurics, merchants).

At the same time though, Miquella and Mohg look like a BLATANT Hades and Persephone reference to me. Hades even wields a spear, and Mohg has set up shop in a distinctly Greek-looking temple. Miquella, flowers and youth and essentially springtime personified, getting kidnapped for marriage by a man who lives in a temple under the earth and has rarely seen the light of day? I can work with that. I can do some insane things with that.

Let's talk Greek mystery cults, and the most famous one of them all: the Eleusinian Mysteries.

As the name implies, historians really don't have a lot to go on when it comes to the content of mystery cults. What happens during initiation stays in initiation, and so on. We can draw a few conclusions based on scattered textual references of guys that broke the oath, but nothing as solid as a playbook of events. We can say this much: there was a very long pilgrimage on foot that included singing and fasting, there was alcohol when they finally got to the destination, and whatever happened beyond the doors of their destination was utterly soul shaking. Mystery cults seemed to rely on the achievement of altered states in order to induce and/or emulate a kind of death and rebirth, which in several cases seems to have outright removed the participant's fear of death after the experience.

Because I am neurodivergent and this hits all of my hyperfixation buttons, I know way too much about agrarian cults of death and rebirth as well as the inducement of altered states, and this would already be prime ground to build headcanons on. But let's talk Eleusis.

Eleusis was a town near Athens where the Eleusinian mysteries took place. These particular mysteries and their initiation were focused around the story of Demeter and Persephone- the horror of Persephone's metaphorical death, the horror of the world beginning to die as Demeter denied the world the fruit of crops in her grief, the relief of a daughter returned coinciding with the relief of famine breaking.

What's interesting about this in the context of Elden Ring is that we have the metaphorical winter, but we don't get any spring. Just the promise of one, eventually, when Miquella returns as a god. In his absence the Haligtree withers, and in his absence his followers languish like abandoned dogs staring at the door. But he never comes home. There is no relief.

Likewise, Trina's entire cult by the time we enter the game seems fixated on "journeying to the underworld"- they are looking for Trina endlessly like Demeter combing the earth for her child, but Trina (like Kore) is nowhere to be found. Not in the land of the living, at least. So we have the preparatory stages of the mysteries- the journey, the mind-altering substances- but without any payoff. Potentially just escalation of both behaviors.

Before Miquella's journey to the Lands of Shadow, I do think Trina was still in communication with her followers, and that she only stopped because she was physically incapable of contacting anyone. So before the Shattering, and particularly before the war in Aeonia, Trina's cult would have had a very much present deity in the same way that Miquella, Malenia, and Marika were all physically available to tend their cults. Not that Malenia wanted hers at all, but nevertheless she had it.

The key difference between Trina and the other Empyreans is that they are being of flesh, and she functions more as a spirit, able to quite literally speak to her followers directly without intercession from priests or bodyguards or the iron wall of classism. She would've been accessible in a way the other Empyreans weren't, which is something particularly of interest since Elden Ring's story kind of metaphorically hinges on the real world events of the rise of Christian monotheism and the subjugation of polytheistic paganism. Part of the reason Christianity became so popular was because anyone could approach God, not just his priests.

Notably, worship of the Erdtree seems more comparable to a kind of imperial cult than a religion fully accessible to the common layman. Your average farmer probably couldn't talk to Marika. Your average farmer probably could talk to a saint though, and Trina might even answer directly.

I am going to have so much fun coming up with weird little rituals for the Church of Cozy In Bed.

[mayisgoingnuts]

Welcome to my blog!!

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ABOUT ME: You can call me Roy or May. I am 17 years old and someone who's bigender (male&female) and uses both She/Her and He/Him. Along with that, I'm also biromantic and aroace; more specifically demiromantic and demisexual!

Happily taken, two years already ♡

Perhaps being a mess when it comes to socialize, I'm always trying my best and answering all and any asks.

I'll only reply to DM's comfortably if we're constantly interacting/Already interacted, otherwise, I'll probably not answer depending on what it is.

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ABOUT MY BLOG: I simply post whatever makes me happy! So there's a lot of fanart, OC's, ships, headcanons, whatever, but all of them around Spooky Month!! Favorite show ever :>

I can also roleplay here if anything, just talk to me first and we can decide on something!! I love roleplaying <3 (if you want to know how my writing is, just check #May is roleplaying now!!)

CURRENT HYPERFIXATION: Spooky Month — My own OC's & Roy!!

ART REQUESTS: I DO ACCEPT THEM!! But be aware that if it has nothing to do with my current interests or if I'm simply focused on something else, there's more chance for me to take longer to get it done or deny.

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IMPORTANT: I also make part of the sfw tickle community, so mayhaps sometimes I'll post things to it. (If you don't want to see those, block the tag #sfw tickle community)

DNI weirdos in general please.

Yes I AM CRINGE. VERY!

MY ROLEPLAY BLOGS (Spooky Month):

Roy: @townbully-hatzroy

Roy (tickle blog): @roys-weirdtklblog

Carmen: @carmen-vanido

Ignacio: @ignacios-lawn

JJD (OC): @jjd-is-here-again

The Gang (OC's): @thegang-ophatzgang

JJD!Skid (AU): @thespookiestfanofscience

Dexter Doll: @thedollispanicking

OTHER SIDEBLOGS:

Spooky Month Confessions: @confessions-sm

Daily Roy Pics: @daily-roy

[navybrat817]

We Don't Talk Anymore

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You and Bucky have an honest conversation, but it may not have a happy ending.

Word Count: Over 2.9k

Warnings: Angst, confessions, communicating, crying, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning)

Previous Part of AU: Where Did the Time Go?

A/N: More Dreamboat and Butterfly from my Reconnect AU! Sorry in advance, lovelies. ❤️ Beta read by @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

As long as you and Bucky had been friends, you rarely saw him nervous. It wasn’t an emotion he liked to show to many, even though he knew you’d never judge him. Watching him clench and unclench his jaw, the fingers on his left hand twitching before he ran them through his hair, you sensed just how anxious he was. Whatever he had to say had him on edge. 

Which had you right there with him.

“Just tell me what's going on,” you urged, putting a hand on his arm in the hopes that your touch would calm him. “Please.”

Bucky swallowed as he looked at you. Why was it a gaze like he was saying goodbye? “You asked how I knew TJ stayed at your place,” he began, moving his arm to take your hand in his. “I went to see you after Steve’s party because I had something I wanted to say to you. Something I wanted to say for a long time.”

You took a step closer, your heart racing a bit faster. The combination of excitement and nerves blended together as you squeezed his hand. “What did you want to tell me?”

The next words out of his mouth would either break your heart or heal the unnecessary pain you put on yourself by staying silent for so long.

“That you weren’t just my best friend. You were so much more to me than that,” he said, bringing his palm to your cheek. You instantly leaned into his touch. “I wanted to tell you that I was crazy about you and wanted you to be my girl.”

Butterflies filled your stomach and it took you a second to find your voice. Was this a dream? “You wanted me to be your girl?” You asked softly, like if you said it any louder you’d wake up. 

“Yeah,” he whispered, a sad smile on his face. “I never wanted anything more than that.”

It was like the ground shifted beneath your feet as you let the words sink in. The butterflies in your stomach went straight to your dizzy head. Bucky Barnes wanted you to be his girl. You longed to hear that he felt the same way you did. It didn’t feel real though. 

You were waiting for the shoe to drop.

Because you were always just out of reach of Bucky. It was like you were a step behind, but you still wanted to follow. You wanted your paths to eventually merge the way you thought they were supposed to. 

“Bucky, I…” you trailed off, trying to get your bearings. You wanted to admit that you felt the same way, but you needed the rest of his story first. “If you felt this way, why didn’t you say anything? Why were you with Dot?”

Why didn’t you just tell me?

A darkness clouded his eyes. “I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you. I never thought I deserved you. Because you’re the best person I know and I’m just me,” he said.

“Bucky, don't say that. You're more than good enough. You deserve the whole world,” you argued. Had you done something to make him think he didn’t deserve you? “I’ve always thought that.”

“When you tell yourself of something for so long you start to believe it. And that’s what I did: I convinced myself that I would never be the man you wanted or deserved to be with,” he said. It broke your heart that he didn’t see himself as worthy enough for you. “And the day I tried to tell you, I shouldn’t have listened to that voice in my head.”

“What happened?”

“TJ answered your door. Shirtless, messy hair. I immediately jumped to conclusions about why he was there,” he answered, his nostrils flaring. Was he replaying the image in his mind? “And when I asked if I could talk to you, he said you were sleeping because he kept you up all night. I left and didn't look back because I thought my assumption was right and something in me broke.”

Your mouth fell open as you realized what Bucky thought happened. “You thought TJ and I had sex,” you stated, wanting to shake him when he nodded. “We didn’t have sex. He kept me up all night talking.”

“I know that now. I should’ve known then. But I thought that was my sign that I was right all along and that I’d never have you,” he explained as tears sprang to your eyes. “You asked me why I dated Dot. It was because I settled. I thought that was what I deserved.”

“So, you thought TJ and I hooked up or were together or something and that was it? You just decided not to say anything to me. And you went to Dot because you knew that was a sure thing?” you asked louder than you intended to, an ugly feeling swirling in your gut. Was it bitterness? “You gave up on us.”

Was it actually giving up when you weren't together? In a way, yes. He bowed out without a word.

“Gave up on us?” he repeated, searching your face for something you couldn't place. “Wait, what are you saying? That you care about me, too?”

“Yes! Yes, I do. So much,” you admitted, hastily swiping at your cheeks as tears fell. “You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted.”

“You wanted to be with me?” he asked above a whisper, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.

You couldn't stop crying as you nodded, an ache in your heart spreading with each tear. “Yes. It has always been you. I was going to tell you how I felt, even at the risk of our friendship, but the day I planned to was the day you introduced Dot as your girlfriend. I knew it was too late.”

If someone asked you to visualize what both heartbreak and hope looked like, it would’ve been the expression on Bucky’s face. “This whole time…”

“This whole time,” you confirmed, swallowing the lump in your throat. “And I never stopped caring about you. I thought maybe I’d try and move on, but I couldn’t.”

“Oh, my God,” he whispered as his hand dropped, a shuddering breath leaving his lungs. “I'm sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t go to you before Dot. I should have.”

“Honestly, yeah, you should have. You didn't give me a chance to explain. You didn't even attempt to fight for me,” you accused, your eyes stinging as your vision blurred again. The floodgate was open and you were powerless to stop it. “Bucky, you gave up so easily at the first sign of something you thought was a problem. I wasn’t worth it to you, was I?”

Your chest tightened as you let the hurt sink in. You wanted to be angry, but you were only left tangled up in disappointment. That was on you for expecting too much, wasn't it?

“You are worth everything to me,” he said, stepping closer as you took a step back.

It sounded like a promise, but felt like a lie. 

“If you really thought I was dating TJ, did you ever wonder why you never saw him around much after you went to my place? Or if I slept with him, did you question why I didn’t talk about him or bring him up?” you asked, feeling as defeated as he appeared to be. “Or was I already so far gone from your mind and heart that you just didn't stop to question it or care?”

“There's nothing I can say to fix it because I know I messed up. Saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough because I shouldn't have given up before we started,” he said, daring to lift a hand to wipe more tears away. You allowed him to do so. “I never should've put you through that. You are the last person in the world I'd ever want to hurt and I hate myself for doing just that.”

“I don't want you to hate yourself,” you whispered, your chest steadily rising and falling. “But I am hurt.”

Like the cracks that formed in your foundation, his face crumbled at your admission. “Butterfly, all I want to do is show you that you mean the world to me and make up for not being there for you. It’s the whole reason I’m here.”

“So you want to fight for me now, but you didn’t fight for me then!”

“Because I’m a fucking coward!” he shouted, both of your eyes wide as he raised his voice. His shoulders slumped, like the rush of emotion went as quickly as it came. “I didn't think I could be with you and I still wanted you in my life even if we weren’t together. I couldn’t even do that right.”

You knew Dot had a huge hand in why you didn’t see Bucky as much, but it wasn’t all her fault. 

“But why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” he asked gently before you could say anything else. “I wouldn’t have been with her if I had known. I shouldn’t have been with her in the first place.”

Hearing that didn’t stop the ache in your heart. If anything, the pain expanded. Bucky said he settled for Dot because he thought that was the kind of girl and relationship he deserved. You settled by staying silent. Part of you even felt bad for his ex, even if she knew he wasn’t fully invested. Maybe that was why she didn’t want you around. She really did know that he wanted you.

“Because I thought you were happy and that's all I ever wanted for you. Even if it wasn't with me,” you told him, something simmering in your gaze as your eyes narrowed. “Do you think I'm some kind of homewrecker? That I'd be selfish enough to tell you how I felt, with no indication that you even felt the same way, to ruin a relationship you told us you were happy in?!”

Loving someone sometimes meant having to sacrifice.

“No, I don’t think that of you at all. You’re the least selfish person I know.”

“Then what kind of person would I be to destroy your path to bring you back to mine?” you asked, not waiting for him to respond as you held up a hand. “And you know what? I agree that we wasted time. Two years wasted because we couldn't just talk to each other. Two years of seeing you in bits and pieces,” you continued, each word like a punch to the gut. “Two years of trying to figure out what the hell I did to push you away.”

He quickly shook his head. “You didn’t do anything. I-”

“You know, I've imagined so many different ways that we’d tell each other we cared for one another beyond friendship. I didn't think it would end with me crying,” you said, straightening up and trying to put on a brave face as you wiped your cheeks one last time. “So what now? Where do we go from here? We can't go back and fix it and I don't even know if I can trust you to not give up on me again. Because I never would have thought in a million years you wouldn't give me the benefit of the doubt.”

“You're right. We can't go back and I made a mistake by giving up before. I have no intention of doing that again,” he said. You wanted so badly to believe him. “And I have no right to ask anything of you, but please. Give me a chance to show that you can trust me.”

It broke your heart that he chose Dot over you so easily. You also understood what self-doubt could do to a person. How many times had you told yourself that Bucky would never see you beyond anything besides a friend? Could you completely fault him for settling? 

You also wanted to trust him since you loved him.

“Give me a chance,” he begged as he leaned in, his lips a fraction away from yours. It was like you were sharing one breath. “Please.” 

All you wanted was to kiss him. To tell him you’d be his. You almost closed the gap between you.

But you couldn’t do that tonight.

“I think I need to be alone for the rest of the night. I can't think clearly with you right in front of me,” you said, you resolve almost breaking when panic filled his eyes. “I'm sorry.”

The impulsive part of you practically screamed to jump in his arms and promise him forever, but you owed it to yourself to take a little time to reflect. 

He swallowed a little. “Please, I-”

“I'm not saying 'no' to you. I'm not going to ask you to prove anything to me. I told you, I’m used to not being a first choice,” you smiled sadly, continuing before he could react to that comment. “And this isn't a test to see if you'll chase after me when I walk away. This is me asking you to give me space for the evening. If you really care about me as much as you say you do, you'll respect that.”

Bucky opened his mouth and shut it before he opened it again. His breathing became shallow as hurt and understanding showed on his face. “Whatever you need, Butterfly.”

“Thank you, Dreamboat,” you whispered, pulling free of his grasp. With a deep breath, you took your first few steps away from him. They were both the lightest and heaviest steps you ever took, your head held high despite your sinking heart. It both pained and healed you. “And thank you for talking to me,” you added when you stopped at the porch.

“I wish I would've talked to you sooner,” he said.

Your heart sank more at his wistful tone, the urge to comfort him taking over. 

As you looked at him over your shoulder, you took in the sight of him in the moonlight. He seemed like a shell of himself as he stared at the ground with drooped shoulders. You didn't think you’d ever seen him look so lost. How did someone so strong to you appear so powerless?

And could you walk away with him in that state?

“We talked now. That means something,” you said, offering him a small smile when he lifted his head. The corner of his lip tugged in a tiny smile as well, but it fell quickly. It was a heartbreaking sight. “And Bucky?”

“Yeah?” He asked hopefully.

“My feelings for you haven’t changed,” you assured him as he let out a breath. The weight in your chest lightened at your admission, likely needing to say it as much as he needed to hear it. “If anything, they’re stronger because we finally talked. I just want you to know that.”

Even if you went your separate ways at the end of the week, Bucky would always be in your heart. You didn't have to be with him to know what you felt for him was real. You also didn’t want to try and carve him out because you considered yourself lucky to experience what love felt like, the good and the bad. Some would never know that feeling.

Bucky let out another breath and stood straighter, determination filling his eyes as he brushed his hair out of them. It was a far cry from his stance moments ago. Did he ignite a fire within himself? 

Or did you light the match? 

“My feelings haven’t changed either. And they won’t,” he promised. “I'll beg for you to be with me if that's what it takes, but I'm not giving up this time.”

Your heart raced faster, but you wouldn't let it deter you. “Maybe tomorrow we can figure out where we go from here,” you suggested. As much as you wanted to see Bucky grovel, you wouldn't make him do that. “Good night, Bucky.”

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered.

Like you asked, he made no move to follow.

You avoided the rest of the gang as you went straight to your room and allowed yourself to cry in peace on your bed. Your heart was still pounding in your chest as you reached for your pillow. When did your hand start shaking? When did your head begin to spin?

You could still feel Bucky’s touch on your cheek, his voice in your mind begging to give him a chance. 

“What the hell am I going to do?” You asked out loud.

Leaving Bucky outside was one of the hardest things you had ever done and you wondered if you made the right choice to do so after his confession, but you were proud of yourself. You knew how he felt now and you opened up about your feelings as well. 

As much as you loved him though, you had to sleep on it. Even if he didn’t care about Dot as much as he did for you, he was still with her for so long. You didn’t know how he intended to prove his feelings for you, but the determination you saw in his eyes told you there was hope for tomorrow. You would figure out the next step in your relationship.

Maybe you would even allow yourselves the happiness you deserve. 

Together.

I know! 😭 I'm sorry, lovelies. Things will look up. Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[wistfulenchantress]

This photo is my entire personality

ok now that’s out of the way here is my intro post <3

Hello, my angel

My name is Witch

(important things are in bold)

My pronouns are they/them (preferred) or she/her, and i'm a genderqueer lesbian

It is always platonic 💛

I'm so bad at using tone indicators but you can always just ask me.

A mysterious force of nature. heart captured with the slightest hint of kindness.

Aquarius, INTJ, swiftie

@ wistfulenchantress on ao3, pinterest, instagram

i'm a minor (i'm chill with interacting with adults just don't be weird. like use common sense)

i am prob one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. if i say something i mean it, i just mean a lot of nice things. i promise i won't lie to you.

im so many fandoms. post a lot of marauders and stranger things, but i am in so many others i would love to talk about so just drop me an ask!

not consistently online rn. i'm getting back to it, but still going through some stuff

poetry blog: @thewordsofwitch

side blog for community: @troybarnesgaytruther

safe space: @safespacewithwitch

check out my ao3!!!!

my greatest triumph

asks and messages are ALWAYS open to silliness, questions, vents, or literally anything. (please put vents in my safe space sideblog, i check that inbox more often. rules for that blog can be found in its pinned post)

PLEASE DO NOT: try to get information about where i'm from, who i am, etc. i do not want to meet you in person please don't make me say no. that crosses a boundary.

NO POLITICAL TALK this is a safe space for anybody and everybody, it is a judgement free zone. i am really triggered by pressure for my political opinions. please don't. i won't respond and i will probably cry. so, please don't. if the post is overtly political you can discuss it with me but also please don’t but you can.

PLEASE DO: talk to me, spam me, do literally anything else that is appropriate. i am always bored, so please never think you are annoying. anons make my day. one time someone just told me a cute fact about their day over anon and my heart exploded. anon asks always welcome <3

please no chain mail, i will delete it

moots!!!!!! (incomplete list)

just my best friend tbh: @justiceforplutoo

my sun, moon, and stars: @garden-of-runar

literally just the best person: @tequilaqueen

absolute favorite ever: @picklerab23

the kindest and sweetest: @jamespotterbbg

genuinely one of the coolest people: @vintagetee13

so so so talented: @liggy-not-potter and @marylily-my-beloved

somehow hasn't blocked me (actually so amazing): @reo-bylerwagon

super friend: @seekmemystar

words cannot express my love: @mybedroomceilingsbored

my friendship rock from @themortalityofundyingstars: 🪨✨ (and it has sparkles)

missing out on things together with: @gildy-locks

idek how to describe how much i need him: @pangothepangolin

even more awesome people: @hisshiss-bitch @the-boy-who-drank-the-stars @moonage-nightterrors @thatrandommatildafan @theoneandonlypjofanatic

there are so many more and i will keep updating this. complain if i forgot you and i will add you, it's not deliberate im just dumb

that's all about me. have an incredible day, love <3

(made by me)

[whumpy-wyrms]

Whump intro post!

hi whumpblr! i'm Jay (he/it/xe) and i've been lurking in the whump community for over a year now and finally decided to make my own whump blog! i plan start posting some of my writing and art soon. i've liked whump all my life, but didn't find the word or community since may 2022. i'm also interested in giant/tiny and might reblog or draw that stuff too (might make a side blog for g/t specifically, idk). i'm a minor (17) so there will never be any nsfw here.

(EDIT: i’m now an adult (my birthday is march 12) but there still won’t be any nsfw here, and i will tag anything related to gore/body horror. i also now have a g/t sideblog which is @tiny-wyrms!)

i have a whole whump series i've been planning for over a year and just finished writing the first chapter of (and posted a few chapters!!) Also, i hate unhappy endings so everything i write i will try to give a satisfying ending. i've never shown my writing or ocs to anyone before, so i'm super nervous but also excited! here's a little synopsis of what i have planned :P

The Last Lab Rat: Dew's relatively normal and boring life changed when he was kidnapped by a mad scientist named Anton, who planned to use Dew as his new human test subject for experiments. Dew, who is scared out of his mind, now has to try gaining his captor’s trust while he slowly plans his escape, all while enduring experiments that make him not quite human anymore.

There's also a whumpee-turned-caretaker, Max, who shows up later but i'm not gonna talk about them just yet to avoid spoilers :)

general content warnings for TLLR: lab whump, wing whump, eye whump, mind control, captivity, torture, experimentation, immortality, clones, ghosts, carewhumper, transgender whumpee

also there's a little doodle of Dew i made :))

here’s some of my favorite whump blogs: @whumpsday @jordanstrophe @avvail-whumps @whumpwillow @painsandconfusion @suspicious-whumping-egg @oddsconvert @shywhumpauthor @wolfeyedwitch @whump-me-all-night-long

favorite tropes: carewhumpers (whumpers who caretake)!! fear, begging, manhandling, kidnapping, captivity, drugging, restraints, gags, mind control, nonhuman characters (alien, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, fae etc.), whumper turned caretaker, sadistic whumpers, defiant whumpees, fearfully compliantwhumpees, immoral characters, lab whump, tiny whump, sci-fi and fantasy whump, nightmares, hurt/comfort, happy endings, curruption and redemption arcs, gore, cannibalism, pet whump

dislikes/meh (things i probably won't write or read about, but there can always be exceptions) (aka things that usually don’t give me whumperflies): made to watch/hurt, broken/conditioned whumpees, conditioning, dehumanization, major character deaths, religious whump, stoic whumpees, unhappy endings, sickfics, hurt/no comfort, female whumpees or whumpers, BBU, institutionalized pet whump or slavery, whump without whumpers, parental/family member whumpers or caretakers

squicks (things i will never interact with): extreme animal abuse or child abuse, pregnancy whump, forced infantilization, bigoted characters (transphobic or ableist whumpers specifically), explicit nsfw whump/noncon/dubcon (i’m fine with reading it if it’s just mentioned or not described in detail), anything in my dni

really excited to finally start being part of the community! :D

[perpetuallypottytraining]

(im the anon that said regression is not nsfw)

oh okay i get it kind of :thumbs_up:

do u talk abt potty training stuff on ur main age regression acc too or is it just this one? cuz if u do i might follow idk hehe

okay, I thiiiink these are the same person? Probably? Unclear. I'll answer both here, for clarity.

1 - No, I don't talk about potty training stuff on my main, not anymore. I moved those posts here a couple of years ago. The only content that's there are maybe some reblogs from other regressors.

2 - Okay, first of all, age regressors did NOT come up with those terms, nor do they have exclusive rights to use them. Those terms have been used by people for, like, ever. Parents calling their kids "little ones", family members calling out "littles, come over here!" to refer to any younger members, the obvious origins of "mom" and "dad" and their variants, and "caregivers" being tied to both people who care for babies, children, the elderly, and those with disabilities.

If anything, age players have more rights to the terms "littles" and "caregiver" in the context that we're using on this site. They're the ones who originated/popularized them. I know this because I was here, on this site, in 2016, when age regressors decided to split off from the sfw age play community, and there was legitimately tons of discourse about who had the "right" to those terms.

(who here remembers the chire and the other handful of communities that attempted to exclude anyone who liked the parental nicknames and the usage of the word "little" in their regression? I do. god, do I remember. this is the main reason that a lot of old regression blogs specify that they're "community free regression")

Second, I... don't? Tag anything here as ageplay? Everything here is just tagged with omo tags, then with assorted organizational tags - there is nothing here tagged with agere or ageplay - just posts that use the very vague term of "little" and the other term of "caregiver" within the post itself.

(which, I just feel the need to repeat, is a word that even normies use!! my own parents, aunts, and uncles call me and my cousins littles!!! Outside of that, "Littles" is a shared community term!! Littles and Caregivers, as we use them, originated from Dominant Daddy/Mommy and Little Boy/Little Girl - it's the gender neutral version!! Cg/L! Regressors are the ones who decided to keep it!! Because it's vague!! That's intentional!!)

But, yeah, you're allowed to feel your feelings, and, honestly, the fact that you're uncomfortable with the "playing grown-up" tag is something that I anticipated when I made that tag - that it might make people uncomfortable! But, I've been working on making my own boundaries and enforcing them, while not immediately catering to make other people comfortable at the detriment of my own comfort/space.

This is my blog. People didn't like when I put non-sexual omo on my agere blog because it helped me regress. That's okay, and even I became uncomfortable with it after a while, so! I made this blog! It's not my agere blog. It's my soft omo blog. It's nsfw and for adults only. And, only just recently, I decided to take advantage of those two facts and put some other nsfw posts here. I do not want to make yet another sideblog for the handful of "icky" posts I'd like to reblog, especially when this blog is already here.

A nice thing about Tumblr is that tags are now blockable, so if, for some reason, you wanted to follow me still, you'd still be able too view all my other posts while excluding that specific tag. Or you can block me, if you wanted to - you curate your own online experience, and I'll hold no ill will towards you for making sure that you're comfortable and safe.

As for saying thats someone can't be both an age regressor and an age player? Literally what are you talking out????? Huh???? Do you think that adults can't age regress and slip into the mindset of a child while also being capable of, while in adult headspace, in a consensual relationship, roleplay as a child for sexual gratification??? Those are two different things!!! Ageplay is roleplay, and as such, one is capable of adult things! Agere is someone slipping into the headspace of a child!! Healthy communication with one's partner makes it clear what's okay in one headspace and what's okay in the other!!!

I'm not even an ageplayer and even I know that it's possible to do both 😭😭😭 and I just read fanfiction and people's actual blogs!!

As for your sign off, um. Okay? I don't even interact with a.geredips posts and blogs.... even if they're very relevant to me and my regression! Not even with my main!! (I'm also very shy and timid and a bit scared to interact) And, on my main, if people who follow me start breaking people's DNI, I literally softblock or block them - if they can't follow people's boundaries, then they can't interact! I'm just one blog, and I doubt that if anyone wanted to demonize age regressors, they need any help from me - people who deliberately mistag are probably more than enough tbh.

Ageplay and age regression, like it or not, was cut from the same cloth - a cloth made out of a gradient from black to white, with shades of grey all in between. Like a baby blanket! Black/ageplay and ABDL on one side, white/agere on the other, with you and me and my friends and mutuals somewhere in the middle, all spread out across!

Plenty of adults don't think anyone should return to the comfort of childhood things, and look at the whole blanket with scorn and disgust. Cutting off more and more of the blanket, because you think that my grey isn't as palatable as your grey, is not going to change these people's minds. Both of us live in the grey zone, and I personally think that by accepting more of the grey, our baby blanket will be strong enough to handle anything - even and especially people who think our blanket should be torn to shreds.

[mistydaysofavalon]

Soooo is Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned what I think it is? 👀 more about that please?

well. it is. but also I can almost guarantee you it really isn't what you think it is.

(non phannies look away)

inspired by this post, our pairing is Father Philip/"normal" Dan. except it isn't really /. basically I thought, what if I took that concept and take it way too seriously, add a lot of religious trauma, angst and pining?

let me add the rest under the cut because I have a thing or two to say about this...

Phil is a catholic priest in his mid thirties who really likes his work. Well, it's much more than his work, it's his whole life and he's maybe a bit unconventional but really good at it, very compassionate and fostering a wonderful community in his church. He is a faithful man and believes that he can do good within the structures of the church, believes he can lead people on the right path. Perhaps he is a bit lonely and can't fully be himself all the time (he likes to keep his obsession about certain video games to himself), but that's fine. He's content with what he has and proud of what he has built. (also, he's a nosy bitch and secretly loves that people are confessing their secrets to him. not that he would ever break anyone's trust or his vow of silence.)

Dan is lawyer in his early thirties. He's gay, a bit depressed but he's working on himself, he's trying. surprisingly he doesn't even hate his job that much, he's found a way to use his degree for something he's actually passionate about (uhhh some social whatever thing). he's fine, really, but he feels a bit directionless in his life. oh, and he very much despises the catholic church. for systemic reasons and also for very personal reasons. there's a reason it took him until his late twenties to actually come to terms with his sexuality. well, multiple, but the aforementioned religious trauma is a huge part of it for this dan.

he's an atheist, doesn't believe in anything but the beauty of cold, hard science. who needs fate or being given meaning by a higher power when you can marvel at the infinitely complex reality and all the coincidences that led to some atoms arranging in a way that just so happen to make up the world?

depite all of that one fateful christmas Dan begrudgingly accompanies his grandma to church because he knows it means a lot to her and she is the one person in the world he would maybe even admit to loving. (shh, let's pretend veronica's catholic I know she isn't but this is fictionnnn.) the priest being incredibly hot almost makes it worth freezing for two bloody hours in church...

they meet. they clash, obviously, and initially slightly hate each other. but then they meet again. and again. and somehow fall into an unlikely friendship and eventually in love, even though both of them know they can't, that it's wrong. but can love truly be wrong?

(oh, funfact, sister daniel has a very short cameo in a dream. yeah, that kind of dream.)

ask me about my wips

(also if you're here for dnp, my dnp sideblog is @bewareofthenewphannie, I don't usually talk about them here)

[iyokko]

introducing: iyo

sup! i’m iyo. i’ve had this account for a while, but finally decided to start using it. this is probably the most formal i’ll be for a while. also, a txt version of the image with more info is below in the cut!

introduction pt. 2

general stuff

iyokko — any prns (they/them default, afab)

hi there! i’m a midwestern digital artist who also likes to dabble into worldbuilding. i’m quite busy with schoolwork and extracurriculars, but i like to make time to share my insane ramblings i have throughout the day.

i’ve got a lovely girlfriend! i’m fruity, unfortunately. i might talk about her occasionally, but i’ll try not to since this is the public eye.

i have a pretty poor attention span though, and i’ll probably appear periodically on this account. when that happens, i’m still alive! feel free to send me stuff.

fandoms

here are some of my interests as of late:

murder drones

aphmau (why i joined tumblr! was a mystreet and minecraft diaries kid growing up.)

alice in borderland

extraordinary attorney woo

wings of fire + fantribes (also a wof kid! still am. make most of my extra cash through the ever-popular fantribes on discord.)

blue lock (manga)

beastars + beast complex (both manga)

oshi no ko (manga — stopped reading it for now since it’s gone off on the deep end)

hallow knight

danganronpa (the disease infected me in middle school and it’s sadly rotted in my head permanently)

one piece (just got into it! wish me luck)

warrior cats (read this at the same time as wof and aph. no wonder i came out so gay)

other stuff too! this is just from the top of my head.

qna

what brought you to joining tumblr?

aphmau brought me here! i saw the community, and as a lifelong aphmau fan—with a rewrite in the works by the way—i just had to join in. tumblr’s been on my radar for a while now to join!

what/when will you post?

i’ll be generally posting my art and ramblings! unfortunately, i probably won’t have a very set schedule, but i’ll try to post at least once or twice a week.

what should i stay for?

if you like my personality or art style, then you should stick around! i can’t promise i’ll be talking about every fandom i’m in, but a few that have always stuck with me are danganronpa, aphmau, and wings of fire. those three will probably continue being posted about throughout my tumblr career, so if you like that sort of content, i might be up your alley.

my inbox—is it open?

it’s currently open! but please be patient with me, i’ve only ever lurked on tumblr before. actually using it is currently a mystery i’m uncovering.

any sideblogs to be aware of?

currently i have one other account for my mcd and myst rewrite! it’s called @iyo-mcd-rewrite! hopefully the link worked for that—if not, you’ll often see me reblog posts from it.

i might make others for my two other big fandoms (wof and danganronpa), but for now they’ll be contained in this main one!

do you have other accounts?

discord — iyokko

instagram — iyokko__

toyhouse — iyokko

twitter — iyokko185998

email — iyokko.15@gmail.com

where do i contact you?

i’m most active on discord and toyhouse, but if you dm me on insta or email me, i’ll get it at a later date! twitter i am at a loss for on dms. that’s all for now!