#me: yeah I'll just write a quick explanation here

[eemamminy-art]

If you're willing, would you share some of your thoughts about zenos? I just met him in my playthrough and I'm already obsessed and curious about how people misinterpret him

I have many thoughts on Zenos ahaha you can find a lot of my long-winded rambles about him in my tag for him! There will definitely be spoilers in this for both stormblood and endwalker, so if you're just going through stormblood for the first time I'd advise saving this to read later!

But in reference to the thing I was talking about with my partner yesterday was mainly like, how there's this idea people have of Zenos that he enjoys killing when it's simply not the case. Now don't misunderstand-- he doesn't hate it either. He's not remorseful. He's not even trying to justify the action. It's just totally meaningless to him.

When he's urging on the wol to be more violent and to let themselves loose against him, it's not for the sake of simply sowing more destruction. He wants to bring the wol down to his own level in order to debase himself. The reason he wants to encourage the wol to hurt him is because being challenged by them is the only thing making him feel alive. The destruction is something of just a natural consequence of that, of showing the wol that Zenos sees them as two sides of the same coin. Zenos is the emperor's attack dog more than his son, the wol is in turn the alliance's attack dog more than their ally (or so he thinks!).

When he talks about "the hunt" it's less this whimsical mass murder that people point it out to be, and really him seeking purpose, meaning, and happiness in the only messed up way he knows how. As a child he was only given praise and attention for causing harm, so he seeks an opponent that can harm him in return so he can feel something, anything. When he's collecting weapons from fallen warriors, they're not trophies or spoils of war, he's specifically interested in the history of the weapons.

I think it's maybe easy to forget, I mean stormblood was so long ago now and while the characterization is still there in endwalker, it's colored by the perception of others. Isse and the other Domans choosing freedom over fear, no matter how hopeless things are.

Jullus wanting to know why he would betray his countrymen and pleading to his empathy, when Zenos was shaped into a weapon by that empire and holds no love for his nation. Alisaie telling him that while he may have found a spark of joy in fighting with the wol, without empathy for others he will find himself alone and bereft of the one thing that makes him happy.

Zero trying to wrap her head around the way Zenos discarded lives as though they were nothing, while bearing some undefinable emotion toward the wol (obsession, competitiveness, devotion, fondness-- she's not able to define it and I think it's meant to be vague for the player's sake). All these characters in their words with and about Zenos do lay it out clear that he is someone who is devoid of emotions except for the relationship he has to the wol, but I think because they are rightly condemning him for the lives he has taken and destroyed, people misconstrue that to mean he likes killing. There's a sort of malice attributed to his actions when it's really just nihilism.

Now, I'm not saying that because he didn't like it, it means it's fine or something. I know people like to interpret it that way when you like a villain in anything lol. All this to say, this idea of Zenos being a psychopath gleefully murdering people is so far from the truth. He's a very broken man with deep traumas and depression, finding happiness only in wanting to be hurt and killed by the wol.

Maybe at the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether he likes it or doesn't-- I find to most people it makes no difference, so it's easy for them to conflate the two things. But I think Zenos' very existence challenges how the player views their own actions. In the same way that Elidibus in the ShB 5.3 quest Faded Memories reflected back at them all the death and destruction that the wol has caused-- intentional or not-- I think Zenos serves a similar purpose narratively. He questions why, he questions what are good or evil really, and asserts that there's no point in trying to find a justification for death and murder.

I can see why it makes people uncomfortable! He's reminding the wol that they have killed just as much as he did, and questioning the "justice" behind the wol's actions. It's an uncomfortable thing to think about. I think it would be fun to have a wol that comes out of endwalker as a pacifist tbqh!

(Not to get on a tangent, but I totally thought post-HW and especially with the DRG 70 quest, that Estinien was going down that road. I was really sold on the idea just by my own interpretation of his actions and words, only for him to be not only just fine with fighting still but to be actually kind of into it for the sport, just with more humility and empathy now. Total missed opportunity imo! But this is not a post about Estinien!! 😤)

Going back to Zenos though, I think it's easier for people to not grant him a shred of empathy and to write off all his actions as those of a madman. He does after all say he wants the world to burn, for the selfish reason of having the wol all to himself. I get it's uncomfortable for the player character to be the one at the center of his attention. I get it!! But gosh there is a much more interesting character in there than just "guy who gets off on killing", if you just open your eyes and ears for a moment.

I do think that, given the themes in ffxiv's story overall, that granting empathy and forgiveness to even the worst of people is kind of the driving force behind a lot of characters' motivations. Raubahn recognizes Ilberd did all he did for the sake of their shared nation's freedom and future; Estinien recognizes Nidhogg was grieving and in pain as much as he was, leading to vengeance; Hien recognizes the cruelty of her family and others in Doma failed Yotsuyu every moment of her life, shaping her into a tyrant; Lyse recognizes the unrest in Ala Mhigo failed Fordola, pushing her into the false hope the Empire offered; all the scions and the wol recognize how the unsundered ascians bore the responsibility of their entire people on their shoulders and did the unthinkable to try to save their own; Wuk Lamat recognizes Sphene acts out of love and preservation for her people, no matter what it takes. On and on and on.

So I find it odd that Zenos never gets that sort of grace! It's easier to just make an enemy out of him than to see things from his perspective, even while most of the other antagonists are given some degree of empathy while still acknowledging they were wrong and had to be stopped.

He's really neat. I'd put him under a microscope and study him if his ass wasn't too big to fit on the slide.

[mentally-ill-simp]

Trusting the RDR2 women to hold your drink

Tw:mentions of alcohol and once again Micah Bell

Karen Jones: You walked up to her rolling your eyes at something you had just heard one of the guys say "my god they are idiots sometimes" you groaned and she laughed "got that right" she took a sip of her own drink sitting at a table a little away from the rest of everyone "could you hold my drink for me really quick?" You asked her with a smile and she nodded taking the drink from you, she sat at the table holding the drink as you left, she made faces and glared at anyone who walked by eyeing the drink keeping it safe until you got back

Mary Beth Gaskill: The girl was sitting on the ground writing away as usual when you approached her "hey Mary whatcha writing" you smiled and she shut the book quick almost embarrassed to show you or anyone what it was "oh nothing" she said her face flushed red, you gave her a small smile "could you do me the biggest favor?" You asked changing the subject, and she nodded "yes of course, what is it?" The girl asked, curious."Could you hold my drink for me?" You asked, holding out your drink to give her, and she nodded, giving a small sweet smile."Of course, " she said. The whole time she held your drink people would walk by and she would give them an explanation on why she was just holding a drink "oh it's (y/n)'s just holding it" and cute stuff like that

Tilly Jackson: You ask Tilly to hold your drink and she happily agrees just working on her sewing much like Hosea she would just put a hand over top of the drink to make sure no one touched it while she worked until you got back

Sadie Adler: You were scared of the woman, but you'd trust here regardless. "Hey Sadie..." you approach her as she cleans her gun she looks up at you "hey (y/n)" she says her usual raspy voice sounding pissed but that was normal "would you mind holding my drink?" You asked her shyly her face softens nodding "yeah of course i can" she spoke nicely and grabs the drink from you holding it between her legs while cleaning the gun, everyone was to scared to approach her about the drink anyway so it was safe

Susan Grimshaw: You walk up to the woman, she was basically the mother of this group she was bitchy sure but she was trustworthy "good evening Ms. Grimshaw" you smiled at the woman "evening (y/n)" Susan stood there with her arms crossed watching the fire in a good mood "would you mind holding my drink for me?" You ask her softly and the woman takes her eyes off of the fire "of course I can darling" the woman smiled as she took your drink. She held the drink close to her protecting it as if it was her own "I can see you in the corner of my eye Mr. Bell you better walk off" she said not even making eye contact with Micah

Abigail Roberts/Marston: "Hey Abigail" you smile at her she had just finished putting Jack to bed and looked exhausted herself "hey" she smiled softly at you "I hate to ask this but would you mind holding my drink for me really quick while I go to the bathroom... I'll owe you one" you smile at her and she thinks about it for a moment "yeah sure I'll watch this for you but you get me one once you come back" she smiles softly and you nod running off, the woman sits there the whole time watching as the people walk by even keeping your drink safe from John when he tries to steal it to drink

Molly O'shea: You look around the camp, finding Molly sitting there by a tree reading. You walk over to her. "Ms. O'shea" you nod and she smiles softly "y'know you can call me Molly" she hated how formal everyone was towards her "alright Molly would you mind holding my drink for me?" You look at her, lips pressed together she nods "yes of course" she takes the drink while you run off and do what you need to, she glares at anyone and everyone who walked by

[takes1]

I'm gonna start by saying that your fics are amazing! I love the way you write and I always get immersed in them. I would like to request an Osamu x reader fic, i was thinking about a childhood friends pining for a decade!au happening while working in his Onigiri shop, you might add Suna if you want,perhaps as a love triangle and misunderstandings as in Osamu thinking that the reader like Suna. As for the smut, I'll leave that to you 👀

thank you so much for supporting!! i love getting these requests and hearing from you! it really helps. not gonna lie, this one challenged me, but i think it turned out well! hope i got this right :) thanks again for the request love

warnings. lite!nsfw. minors DNI info. hq lite!nsfw / safe consent practices / mutual pining / some angst, some hurt, but pay-off / husband material!osamu / timeskip!osamu / childhood friends to lovers / miscommunication / r.i.p suna's unrequited feelings / misunderstandings / osamu gives great hugs / osamu is a wine snob / osamu is a little shy / 2.5k words 🤍haikyuu collection. more of my hq here more links. my ao3 / masterlist / request box is open so give me some ideas pls!

Your heart gave an all-too familiar squeeze at the sight of an old friend.

There he was, clad in a black cap, apron, and a well-fitting shirt. His face was one of slight concentration, his mouth in a straight line, jaw flexed. A strong arm lifted the black bag he carried high into the trash in the alley with ease.

"'Samu!" His nickname was like a sigh of reassurance on your tongue.

He turned, a stern face letting up as soon as he recognized you coming towards him. He quickly discarded his gloves in the trash and made forward to meet you. It ended in a hug in the middle of the sidewalk.

Business was so slow today, he really wasn't expecting any surprises- especially not any pleasant ones.

"(Y/n)." Was a mumble against your hair, charged relief on his breath. He was lifting you off of your feet and melting into you at the same time.

Your eyes stung a little when you tucked your face into his comforting shoulder. It'd been so long since graduation, but everything was coming back to you, all at once, against your will.

Maybe it was because you could still taste the onigiri you just finished, but those lunches he used to prepare for you kept cropping up. You weren't sure why it kept making you want to cry, though.

"I missed you!" You whispered, swallowing a sob.

He gave you a crushing squeeze in return. He certainly hadn't stopped working out since your high school days. There was a hesitation in letting each other go.

"God," His quick blinking made you feel better for getting emotional, "What are you doin' all the way out here?"

You sniffled and turned to Suna, briefly forgotten at the table, "I told you those fillings tasted familiar!"

There was an unmistakable shock in Osamu's eyes when you turned back to him, "We were just grabbing lunch. I had no idea 'Onigiri Miya' would actually mean you!"

He missed the natural beat to respond- instead of letting your declaration die, you kept up the attempt to rekindle things.

"Did you get a new number?" You asked, quieter, trying to catch his eye, so you leaned your head further between him and Suna.

He looked down at you with a much softer expression, "Hm?"

"I- texted you a couple months ago, I just assumed you got a- new number," You trailed.

It felt a bit forced and loser-esque to ask the reason why he hadn't texted you back. Two months was a while to get 'caught up' in something, after all.

If he didn't want to talk to you, he technically didn't owe you an explanation.

He blinked. It didn't cross his mind that you would've texted him-- his fingers fumbled for his phone in his pocket to show you a new iPhone.

"Yeah," He sighed, "Shit, I didn't think to tell anyone but 'Sumu..."

This time, he felt like the loser. He didn't have many people to text, nowadays. But he certainly didn't want you and Suna to know that.

Relief flashed across your face as you admitted in a light laugh, "Oh, thank god. I really thought you were ignoring me!"

"Let's all exchange numbers," You suggested.

You looked back to Suna and thought you saw some hostility in his eyes, "So we can all meet up sometime, when you're not working."

The process of getting each other's contacts was quiet and stilted. You thought better of making plans here and now, because there was an indescribable feeling that something was wrong.

Maybe the timing.

Osamu frowned at his phone after getting it back from Suna.

Maybe the place.

Suna gave a subtle sigh when Osamu put his number in.

Your text to Osamu that night garnered a response so quick that it made up for the months of uncertainty and pseudo-grieving. Your oldest friendship was not buried as deep in the ground as you had previously thought.

It ended in a suggestion you weren't expecting.

There was nowhere you both wanted to eat at, and no activities you could think of that would allow for the long conversations you both favored.

I could cook for us.

You knew better than to deny him the chance to cook, but it was clear to both of you that it felt a little too forward. A little too intimate for just two good friends.

That wasn't enough to keep you from agreeing immediately.

Certain that he didn't feel the same, you rationalized that you had nothing to worry about.

Dark red swirled slow, unending circles in your glass. You weren't one for red, but he brought out a vintage just for you tonight.

The perfectly plated dinner in front of you didn't last long. Osamu made it so easy to like foods you swore up and down you hated; you didn't question his choices despite your usual pickiness.

There were a number of times you had to pretend not to notice him watching you eat. He was pretty obvious, because he'd raise his spoon full of food, then let it hover mid-air, and turn his whole head to watch you chew. It was as if he was waiting for you to declare it was the worst thing you'd ever tasted.

He was still working on his -most likely cold- plate minutes after you cleaned yours off. It left you to catch up to him in glasses of wine. The bottle was nearing empty and you were still on your first.

"Do you have any roommates?" You asked, glancing around a spacious apartment.

It was so still. You'd surely die of loneliness, if you were him.

He shook his head. It made sense with his preference for solitude, but it still made you sit back and sip on your wine to keep from voicing your concern.

"It's quiet," Osamu wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his plate forward, "I know."

Was your discomfort that obvious?

His chuckling won out over your insistence that it wasn't that bad, and you eventually were resolved back to slouching in your chair again.

"You just need some- flowers," You motioned to the center of the table, not believing in your advice in the slightest, "Or... something like that."

"To be fair, I never sit at the table."

He poured the last of the wine into his glass. You stared down at yours. He still spoke and acted stone-cold sober. You had to wonder how much he drank, with this bleak living space.

"Not a fan of Merlot?"

This was getting a little embarrassing.

This time, you gave in, "Not feeling this one as much."

His brow raised. He had a layered expression, like he was torn between two sides of himself for a split-second.

He eased up and slid his elbows on the table, wine glass looking absurdly tiny in his hand.

You admired the gentle way he held the delicate glass, how he knew just how the weight was supposed to be distributed in the webs of his fingers.

"You drink wine much?" He had that completely immersed look on his face that was always so difficult to return.

He mistook your trouble to return his gaze as discomfort, and laughed, retracting his body from the table, "I-'m sorry--,"

"No-no it's okay-!" You put your hand on his arm and scooted your chair closer to affirm that you didn't mind his proximity -that you in fact welcomed it- and rambled, "I- don't, drink wine like that. So I- wouldn't really know what's good."

His gaze sent a shiver surging through your whole body. What an intense pair of eyes. He leaned forward on his elbows, thumb rubbing his freshly shaved cheek.

"It's an expensive hobby."

You were wracking up inappropriate questions by the second. First, the lack of love in his sad apartment, then his potential alcohol issues, now his salary.

The quiet clink of his glass on the table. A heavy, warm hand stilled yours on his arm, and he caught your troubled gaze.

"But it's just a hobby," He smiled.

The apartment filled with shared laughter. You were getting read like an open book, you couldn't help but cool your face down with the back of your hand.

"I-I promise, I'm not trying to judge," You sighed and grinned at what you noticed as his slightly tipsy giggling, "I just... care about you."

Osamu took a breath to say something, but something else flickered across across his face.

His hand was starting to slip from yours.

"So, you and Suna again?"

You laughed at what you thought was a joke. He didn't return it; instead, he let go and took another big sip from his almost empty glass.

"Oh-," You realized he was mistaken, "We're not together."

"Mm!" He swallowed and laughed, "Oh- that's good."

His focus faltered with a small cough, "I mean, not good, but-,"

"That's not something I want to go back to," You saved his embarrassing admission gracefully and looked away, only thinking about that short-lived relationship in high school.

Suna was just a distraction. A temporary filler for your unbearable emptiness. You never stopped loving Osamu, even when you had everyone else fooled. In the end, Suna just made you miss your friend more, since it sparked an unspoken drift in the process. It wasn't one of your brightest moments.

The look on his face was asking for more information. A 'So... why?' was on the tip of his tongue. You saved him the breath.

"He reached out. I was free, and I wanted to make sure we were alright after things ended like that."

Osamu nodded slowly, swirling half a sip of wine in his glass with careful consideration.

"You talk about it like you never liked him," He sighed against the rim, then shot it back in a way that made you realize why he was drinking so much.

He didn't have the courage to talk to you like this without it.

Your thumb, still resting on his forearm, rubbed thoughtfully. If he was being this candid through his actions, you didn't mind coming clean about a few things.

"I didn't," You admitted in a breathy half-laugh, "It wasn't real to me."

You shut your eyes tight and seethed, "I know that sounds so cruel--,"

"Yeah," He chuckled.

"Okay- I meant it like..." Your thumb was tapping on his raised skin, "I needed a distraction. You know I was struggling. He really was sweet. I know I should've treated him better."

It was clear that there was no hero to the story. You were all flawed, to some degree. Osamu's hand returned to yours. This time, he squeezed.

"You know I don't judge you for that."

All things considered, that break-up was still fresh. It was only briefly before your graduation date.

"Hey-," He reached up to turn your head towards him. It was a bit much and left you both warm and fidgety, "You know that I know that you're a good person."

His hand fell to your forearm.

It was fleeting, but you felt an energy between you. It was different. It filled that space in your heart you'd long since carved out for him.

Fleeting must be reiterated, because it was gone in an instant as he cleared his throat and stood, collecting the dishes in one trip with skill you could only attribute to the nature of his work.

You chugged the rest of your wine with a shudder so it wouldn't go to waste and skittered after his swift movement towards the kitchen.

If there was any place in the house that didn't feel lifeless, it was the kitchen. Spacious and clean, sure, but every tool and appliance here was cared for and used often.

It distracted you to slow down.

There was a level of respect you felt was necessary for a space so important to Osamu.

He began washing the dishes.

"Please let me do something," You begged from behind him.

All you got was a stoic head shake.

You leaned on the countertop behind him, staring at his back in that clean, black shirt. Would you ever get over him?

His words and actions from tonight turned over in your head. That hug you shared yesterday afternoon made your hands slip from the counter.

It may have been the wine that inspired your resolve to actually follow through, but your motivation did have years of pent-up desire behind it.

His body stiffened at the feeling of your arms around his waist, the side of your face pressed against his warm back. He smelled like a woody, musky cologne.

"Thank you," You muttered, mostly for his kind words, but its roots extended much farther than just recent events.

The sound of the water shutting off encouraged you to loosen your grip. The doubt started settling in as he dried his hands with a hanging towel, wordless.

His hands just barely grazed yours as you retracted, heart racing at the fact that you couldn't take that back.

He turned around to face you. Your eyes were busy avoiding his, so you were taken by surprise when he leaned down to pick you up from the waist.

It was just as easy and comfortable as the first time-- his shoulders spacious enough to bury yourself in, his hold so secure you didn't have to spare any strength holding on. He could support you all day.

A breathy groan, like he was a settling house, brushed your ear and sent tingles down your spine.

He set you down, but guided your arms to stay around his neck. You looked back and forth between his eyes, no longer unsure about his feelings.

"I missed you so much."

He was a clumsy kisser, but you didn't mind.

His hands were skilled and sure. It was more than enough to make up for his hungrier, rather than soft kisses.

One kept you steady by the back of your head, the other taking up your entire shoulder to guide you backwards against the kitchen island.

He rendered you breathless quickly- you pulled away for just a moment and he took it as a good sign to lift you up onto the countertop.

No part of you questioned this intense show of affection-- it felt like a fitting release of years-long tension and unspoken feelings.

They still remained unspoken, for the most part, but it could wait.

His hips pushed hard against your own, eliciting a soft, fluttery sound against his mouth.

He ate it up, wanting another so bad that one hand grabbed at the bend in your hip and thigh to keep you against him.

Your tummy twisted in a mixture of delightful pleasure and desire, everything below your waist all giddy and jittery as his fingers squeezed your hips with a need you never knew he was harboring.

Thighs trembling with nerves, his steady grasp pushing down helped to calm and stall you. You caught your breath with your forehead pressed against his. You unhooked your legs.

"W-hat?" You swallowed, praying to God this wasn't some mistake.

His wine-flushed face answered your question with no response.

"We shouldn't...I'm not--," He bit his cheek at his own restraint, brow tight with regret at his own actions from earlier.

You nodded, a little buzzed yourself, and laughed at his concern, "I'm okay with just kissing."

my masterlist.

requests are open!

[charlottesbookclub]

like real people do (alistair x reader) 💜💜

Summary: honestly there's no real plot, just pure fluff. Alistair tries to adjust to having a human mate, and he's trying really hard 🥹

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader, mention of skipping a meal (not intentionally), mentions of eating, Alistair being awkward and a bit rude lol, basically just pure tooth-rotting fluff, but as always, let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 1,634

Author’s Note: me, writing a twilight fanfic in the year of our lord 2024? it's more likely than you think. uhhh yeah I have no real explanation for this except that I have stumbled back into my Alistair obsession and I just wanted to write a cute little something for him. I don't think this is my best work, but at least it made me smile, so that's something. honestly I have no idea if there's anyone else out here reading fanfic for an incredibly minor twilight character, but if there is, I hope you enjoy whatever this is! I was thinking of making this a little series of Alistair trying his damndest to figure out human stuff, so do let me know if you have any interest in that. but okay I'll stop rambling now - enjoy! 💖

            A message pinged through on your computer, and you looked away from your work for a moment, pulling up the chatbox. It was Lucy from the front desk: 

hey – someone’s here to see you

who?

hard to describe – and i’m having a hard time getting his name

You chuckled softly to yourself, having a sneaking suspicion you knew exactly who it was. Odd that he would willingly put himself in a situation that forced him to speak with other people though. Your laughter turned into a small frown as you considered the fact that something might be wrong. You and Alistair hadn’t been together long, but you knew about his aversion to others well enough to wonder what could bring him into proximity of the possibility of needing to engage in small talk.

be right there

You pushed back from your desk and hurried down to the lobby. Lucy was obviously waiting for you to arrive, and she met you with a mildly panicked look, gesturing with her head toward the tall man standing awkwardly in the corner of the lobby. Thanks to his heightened senses, he had noticed your arrival long before Lucy, and was already striding across the floor toward you at a pace that was just barely slow enough to be considered human. You made a mental note to ask Carlisle to gently review normal human behaviors with him. You just managed to give Lucy a quick thumbs-up to indicate that you knew the tousled man before he bustled the two of you back toward your office.

“Alistair, what the hell?” you asked as he ushered you inside and closed the door behind him.

“What a truly awful system,” he muttered to himself, clearly continuing a rant he was already halfway through rather than answering your question. “I mean really, how many idiots should I have to go through to see my partner?” You just crossed your arms and leaned back against the edge of your desk, a bemused smile starting to fight its way onto your face. You knew it was no use interrupting him until he had gotten everything out. “’Would you like something do drink?’” He parroted Lucy’s question mockingly. “No I bloody well would not – unless you’ve got a few bags of blood stored away back there,” he retorted to this fictional Lucy sarcastically. “Zounds, how hard is it to just point me in the right direction and leave me in peace?” His words faded into muttering and soft curses in a version of English that hadn’t been spoken for hundreds of years.

“Alistair,” you said quietly, breaking him out of his monologue. His talking to himself had seemed strange at first, but the more you learned about his life before meeting you, the more it made sense. He had been his only company for so long and was only now slowly adjusting to speaking with other people again. You, however, found it incredibly endearing and hoped he didn’t break himself of the habit completely. 

His focus snapped to you instantly when he heard your voice, and he started murmuring apologies that you quickly brushed off.

“Alistair, it’s fine,” you assured him, sending him a warm smile and softly placing your hand on his forearm. Touch was another thing that was coming back to him only slowly. You had learned to proceed cautiously, gently, making sure he knew that you were about to touch him before making contact. The words stilled on his lips as his eyes focused in on the place where your warm palm met his cold skin.

“Alistair,” you said quietly after a moment of letting him adjust to the contact. His eyes traveled back up to your face at the sound of his name on your lips. “Is something wrong?”

“I—no,” the words tumbled out awkwardly, and you could almost see him trying to say three different sentences at the same time. If he still had blood under his skin, you were certain he would be blushing. Knowing that eye contact made conversation even more difficult for him, you flicked your eyes down toward your hand still on his arm, gently pulling it from where it hung limply at his side. You cradled his large hand in both of yours and began tracing mindless patterns on his skin, hoping this would give him enough of a reprieve to gather his thoughts. He took a deep breath and tried again. 

“Nothing is seriously wrong, but I— well I… worried about you.” This instantly caught your attention, and you looked up again almost without thinking, only to find his ruby eyes gazing back down at you with a softness you were just beginning to recognize.

“Alistair, I promise, I’m just fine,” you assure him.

“But… well… I noticed you didn’t eat breakfast this morning.” You tilted your head, wondering why that was such a cause for concern that he would willingly subject himself to the horror of checking in at your work.

“I was just running a little late and didn’t have time to make myself anything,” you explained, hoping that would ease his mind, “there’s always snacks in the break room, so I figured I’d have something when I got here.”

“I understand, but humans in your age group are supposed to eat three balanced meals per day, with the addition of one to three snacks. Lack of nutrients can result in many deficiencies, which in turn can lead to side effects like headache, dizziness, and trouble concentrating.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that was growing on your face as you listened to him recite this knowledge as though he had memorized it straight from a Wikipedia article. However, you seriously doubted Alistair’s ability to navigate the internet, since Carlisle had only recently convinced him to try using a flip phone.

“Where did you hear about this?” you asked, trying to remain serious and stifling the giggles that were rising in your throat.

“I’ve been reading Carlisle’s medical texts,” he responded with a furrowed brow, “I want to make sure I understand all the risks and ensure that I am prepared for every eventuality.”

If you hadn’t been completely in love with him yet, this would have undoubtably sealed the deal. He may be awkward and eccentric and even difficult at times, but he was trying so so hard to care for you in the best way he knew how. Although the whole situation was still incredibly amusing, you simply couldn’t bring yourself to laugh at him, even if it was all in affection. Instead, you raised yourself slowly to your tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” you said as you lowered yourself back onto your heels. Your chaste kiss seemed to have frozen him for a moment, as he stood there completely still, his soft squeeze of your hand the only indicator that he was still present in the room. You let him recalibrate, and as he came back himself, he made a soft exclamation as though he had just remembered something. Reluctantly releasing your hand, he swung a small backpack off his shoulder. 

“I brought you some breakfast,” he explained as he pulled a jumble of containers out of the bag and placed them on your desk, “I tried to make sure I balanced all the proper nutrients to ensure you wouldn’t suffer any adverse effects from not having eaten this morning.”

You busied yourself with looking at all the containers of food to hide the tears that were welling in your eyes. You had never had someone care for you so completely like this before. Unfortunately, your plan didn’t work, since the awkwardly yet earnestly prepared food only brought more tears to your eyes. You had never expected that strangely cut fruit, mangled pancakes, and soggy cereal sitting in its own milk would make you cry with joy, but the amount of thought and care that had clearly gone into each piece of the meal was about to reduce you to ugly sobs.

You could feel Alistair watching you intently as you opened each of the containers, seemingly trying to gauge your response. When he couldn’t bear it any longer, he finally broke the silence. 

“If you don’t like it, I—I’m happy to go out and buy you something. I haven’t had human food in so long and even—even then I didn’t actually prepare it so I tried reading some of Carlisle’s recipe books but I think I still didn’t get it right—” 

“Alistair,” you didn’t normally like to cut him off, but you refused to let his anxious rambling sew any seeds of doubt in his mind. “It’s absolutely perfect – I can’t wait to taste it all!”

Alistair beamed at you then, a rare sight, but a welcome one.

“I just have one question though,” you said, and he looked at you quizzically, waiting for your inquiry. “Can I give you a hug?”

Confusion turned to elation on his face, and he spread his arms in assent and anticipation. You threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you wiped away a few escaped tears. His arms closed around your back hesitantly, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them, but his uncertainty seemed to fade as you melted into his grasp, and he wrapped you even more tightly in his embrace. 

Both of you were smiling when you finally pulled away. You settled into your desk chair and motioned to Alistair to pull up another. He sat just close enough that your knees could touch as you surveyed the feast before you. 

“What do you think I should start with?” you asked him.

“Maybe the pancakes? I’m rather proud of those.”

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

So in this post Red made in the technical terms for magic users necromancer is one of them

"Necromancer: a user of truename magic to temporarily recall fragments of shades of the dead, usually for consultations. No elemental magic involved. Inexact science."

And first it felt out of left field for me but then I remembered the importance of the dead souls of Vash still being connected to him. Their souls are part of the soul of the city until Vash removes that bit of soul energy right? (guys I'm working quick here I'll double check my work later) So there are spellcasters (using that word since no elemental magic involved) who can call the truename of a soul and talk to them? If one such necromancer happened to walk past Vash in it's current state and knew the name of someone in the city, could they call that name, and speak to that person?? They're using true names to talk to souls right? Like using an primordial's true name but on a person? [need to go reread the Collector's thing in ch 11 again] Are they doing magic with the soul? How do souls work in Aurora??? Soul energy what are you????? can't wait till we meet the soul shaper monks and I possibly get more answers and 85 more questions I need to go reread Erin's explanation about the soul shaper monks again and also soul channels and also the magic lore page on the website

also detective show about a necromancer soulcaster trying to solve murders (fun but kind of done before) or track something down. True name magic to bring back this historian's shade to ask where did you put that one document we need it for research. Perhaps both is going on here. Necromancer wants to track down something/ do some magic research but is traveling with someone who is trying to solve a mystery/ murders and it's just a Shade: Wha? what happened?

Channeler: *dramatic sad music* I'm sorry to disturb you, and that we weren't able to help you in life, but we need to know some things so we can help more people now.

Necromancer: *music cuts out on a bad note* yeah like when you said you'd write a paper on the eternal recurrence of the soul what did you mean? *plucky music*

Shade: I'm sorry, you called me back from the dead to ask about my research?

Channeler: No, I - that's not -*turns to necromancer* can you focus please *back to the shade* I'm sorry, but we need to know about how you died

Shade: it's just,*tearful music resumes, more hopeful* no one's really asked about that topic in a bit. I thought no one actually cared. It was all 'deadlines this' and 'hurry up with that manuscript that'

Channeler: oh

Necromancer: Oh I find your paper on [smart thing] fascinating! not as much as my friend here

Wizard: hi i'm a big fan can I have your autograph

Shade: oh I'd love to!

*shenanigans because shade can't hold a pen and the channeler is getting more worried about time limits or something*

[shhrrroooommmmmyyyyyy]

S1: The Birb's Feelings

(pt 1.5 for episode 7 and 2 for season 2 idk when cause shit's crazy rn)

Stolas is one of the most morally controversial characters in the show. With the show revolving around Blitz's relationships, it's natural that the show gives us the most information about him because he is arguably Blitz's most complicated relationship at the moment (I'm not going to include Barbie bc we've literally only seen her for like 5 minutes in one episode which isn't enough information). I wanted to do a quick overview of how I perceive Stolas's feelings throughout the duration of the show in sort of a timeline format

~Episodes 1, 2, 5~

So, at first, it's obvious Stolas doesn't really think of Blitz too romantically and mostly sexually. Ok, completely sexually. However, there's a reason why that people often overlook sometimes. Stella openly said in the season 2 premiere that the only time him and her had sex was to have Octavia. Man's literally been deprived of anything enjoyably sexual his whole life. So when he finally does have sex that's enjoyable for the first time, he naturally wants more of it

As we all know, Stolas isn't the most self aware king (or should I say prince) out there (which is okay; he's still growing and developing as a character). The way he treats Blitz in these first few episodes sort of gives off sex toy vibes. Obviously, this is where Blitz gets that mindset from, that all he is is just a toy for Stolas

But after seeing what Stolas' true personality is now, I highly doubt Stolas knew exactly how he was treating Blitz during this time. Again, self awareness issues. Natural part of his character that, after watching Viv's writing since the Hazbin pilot first released (yeah og right here), I'm positive will be developed on later in the show. So hold your horses people, we're just now 2 episodes away from only being halfway through with the show. Give it time, it'll happen

Anyways, Stolas isn't a bad person (I'll fight anyone over this take, dont play). But he does the wrong things with the right intentions. He treated Blitz the way he did in these first few episodes because Blitz was the first person he's ever enjoyed having sex with. It's a big deal to him as it sort of "awakened" him. I think he was so happy about the sex after around 35 years of nothing, he didn't fully realize how he was treating Blitz in the process

*Not an excuse, but simply a possible explanation for his actions*

~Episode 6~

My favorite episode. Stolas shows up when I.M.P.'s sort of cornered by the agents and scares them shitless with his scawy big birb form. First he makes sure Blitz is okay, then he scolds him for getting caught. Almost like a mother who's mad but cares for their well-being (crying in ghostfuckers)

This may seem small to you guys, but for me this was when Stolas became my favorite character. Not only did this moment show he's more than just the cringy comedic horny relief, it also showed that he cared. Why would he ask if Blitz is okay if he didn't care about him? That has nothing to do with the book. If it got in possession of humans he could literally just kill them in like a second and take it back. Tbh (dont come after me pls) but before this episode I didn't like my first impression of Stolas. Despite the many takes calling the cringiness of his lines in the first few episodes "iconic", I hated it. It was just too much

And in this scene it's not just that he's asking in general, it's how gentle he's being with Blitz. Holding his face and speaking a bit softer with a caring expression on his face. I love it so much (aggghghhghghgahhaagh). I know his attitude changes after a few seconds, but still it was a nice moment that reshaped my perspective on his character for basically the rest of the show

*Like I said before I'l give episode 7 it's own post cause i'm too tired and there's so much to talk abt in that episode*

[scarletwinterxx]

lee and lily - haechan dad scenario

hello!! just wanted to write a quick haechan fluff. haechan as a girl dad, i just know he'll be the most gentle and caring and whipped dad 🥺😭

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Honey, I'm home! oh what are you doing there, angelbug?"

Haechan stops by the doorway when he spots his daughter sitting on the bottom step with her arms crossed and a frown on her cute little face

"Time out" his daughter answers with a pout, Haechan had to hold back his laugh just in case you're around watching. He tries not to get in your way whenever you discipline your 4 year-old daughter, he did it once and he ended up in trouble with you too.

You always tell him she's too spoiled, how can he not spoil her though?

Lee Nari, you and Haechan's first born. Baby girl was born on June 06, yes the same day as your husband. The two of you were enjoying his birthday dinner at home with his family when it happened, it was to say the least a very dramatic way of entering the world. Little Nari knew how to announce her entrance, a few hours later she was born.

Since then she's been yours and Haechan's world. You can control yourself when it comes to giving her what she wants and teaching her how the real world works but her father is a whole another story.

If Haechan could, he'd give Nari the world on a silver platter. When she was a newborn, she would make the slightest little baby noise and Haechan would be on his feet checking on her.

You adore it. You love how he loves his daughter. There's no doubt she'll have one man loving her truly for the rest of her life. As long as Haechan is around, Nari would be loved and cared for and protected.

Walking towards his daughter before crouching down to meet her eyes,

"Did you do something that you weren't suppose to?" he asks

"She drew on the wall with markers, then when I asked her if she did it she said Uju did" this time Haechan let out a chuckle when he heard your explanation, looking up the staircase to see you standing with a rag and bottlespray in your hands. Probably cleaning up the mess little Nari made.

"Who knew our dog was an artist" he jokes, he stands up before cupping his hand over Nari's ears "How long has it been?" referring to her being on time out

"Like 5 minutes, atleast talk to her Hyuck. She's getting cheekier and cheekier by the day, and you're not helping" you told your husband, walking down the stair

"I do help" "Yeah, help her with getting away with things" you counter

"Okay, you're not wrong. Not my fault I can't say no to our baby, she can do no wrong in my eyes" he says, you give him a pointed look. One he understood even without words.

"I'll talk to her" he tells you before looking down to Nari

"Let's go, Nari. We'll help mommy clean up, okay?" he says as he picks up his daughter in his arms.

Before the two Lee's make their way upstairs, Haechan speaks again

"Now, what do we say to mommy?" he asks Nari who is currently playing with the button on his shirt

"Sorry, mommy" Nari mumbles

"Doesn't count if you don't look in her eyes. Now try again" he tells her gently.

You don't talk, just stood beside the daddy and daughter duo. Haechan has always been the energetic, all-out type of person. But when he's with his little girl, he's the most gentle man.

The little Lee looks up and look at you with a small pout on her lips, "Sorry, mommy"

Haechan looks at you, waiting for you to succumb under her powers just like he always do. Like he had when he first held her in his arms. Like how he'll always be for the rest of his life.

"Don't do it again okay, and don't lie to mommy when I ask you. I forgive you" you tell her with a small smile. Leaning over to give her a kiss on the head

"Hey, where's my kiss?" Haechan says, earning an eye roll from you but you comply nonetheless.

After all, Nari isn't the only Lee who has you wrapped around their finger.

Giving Haechan a quick kiss on the lips before passing the rag and spray bottle to him. "Goodluck, love you" you tease him, lightly pushing him upstairs.

"You see angellove, there's this thing in your playroom. The coloring books and canvass I got you, you can paint and draw on them all day so that you and I don't have to clean. And mommy won't get mad, she's scary when she's mad"

"Lee Donghyuck!"

[foundry-fabrications]

Hey folks! It took WAY too long to get this out, but it's finally done. Well, technically it isn't done, but I'll get to that in a bit. One weird thing that needs explanation at a time.

So, as one can tell, I didn't just make statblocks for the behemoths, write some lore, and call it a day. I've discovered that I really don't like making statblocks and dealing with all the nonsense that comes with it (CR is a joke, and I'm not laughing). So, in typical Foundry fashion, I tried doing something weird that requires more work and ultimately still required me to make statblocks anyway. Yeah, I'm not smart. 

So I made them templates instead. And while I was tempted to give up and just do the obvious thing since I was just going to end up with stats anyway, making them templates makes a certain amount of sense from a lore perspective and I genuinely think is an interesting idea worth pursuing. Quick lore tidbit, behemoths are likely the result of normal creatures becoming mutated by aether (it's not certain, but there are signs of this origin from what I've read), so a template makes logical sense. So, as long as I pick appropriate creatures for the template examples, the end result will get you pretty close to the behemoths in game. Sure, they're not perfect, but it would be easy to tweak them to better suit your game.

So the other behemoth in the room is there are only 3 behemoths here. I had intended on releasing them all at once. Turns out there's like 30+ behemoths AND 5 basically legendary behemoths. So, I'm splitting them up into their elemental categories, and the legendaries by themselves. I already have the Blaze behemoths written out, so those won't take nearly as long. As I complete each category, I'll update this post and make y'all aware of the additions. By the end, I'll have one document with all of them in it, a brew to rival Flesh & Bone. 

But for now, a quick break to work on something else my ADHD has compelled me to rework. Stay tuned for that. Anyway, stay safe, don't forget to love each other, and I'll see you next time.

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a Tip or supporting me on Patreon! Patrons gain access to high quality PDFs for all of my content, weekly updates, early access, and more!

[demifiendcruithne]

today on digital devil saga 2 is criminally under-researched (aka crui is a nerd about a 20 year old game)

so i finally got the impulse/opportunity to test out something i've been suspecting for a while but have never seen any documentation on: dds2 has some form of STAB* mechanic with elemental spells for playable characters, based on their associated element (the one they resist + the one their unique gun combos use)

*for non-pokemon folk: STAB == same-type attack bonus. so for example, a chimecho (psychic type pokemon) using extrasensory (psychic type move) will deal more damage than a non-psychic-type pokemon with the same special attack against the same target

i have more tests i intend to make when i have spoons (i'm just grinding mantras for the superboss and noticed it while fighting wild narasimha because that hecker disables my berserker ring), but so far i've tested with my three active characters fulfilling the following:

are fighting the exact same narasimha who has no elemental weakness/resistance/etc (savestates were used and run multiple times; the rng is not fixed until a move is actually used, so i could get multiple data points quickly by making a new savestate every time i loaded it to advance the rng)

have 99 magic

are level 99

have no elemental boost or amp skills equipped

have no rings equipped that may affect damage, outside of boosting magic stat to 99 for consistency

use two different dynes; one of their associated element, and one not. the former consistently did more, and with repeated runs i cannot write it off as damage range.

under cut: many images; by virtue of being in endgame, these will have some spoilers for endgame in plain sight. if you're reading this and haven't gotten to the final dungeon, i highly recommend you go do that and come back later. once you've reached the final dungeon, you're safe to check it out.

(but seriously - i can't stop you, but i highly recommend actually. playing this game first. it's great)

if you're reading this, you've either gotten to the final dungeon or don't care about spoilers; in case of the latter, i'll do a quick explanation of our last party member momentarily. i have been a little misleading because they are. very much a BIG spoiler. but first - gale resists force, and does more damage with zandyne than bufudyne; likewise argilla with earth/teradyne/ziodyne.

(bufudyne was a random pick for gale because i had only five for omoikane reasons, but in hindsight it was a good one...)

now - for those unaware, this last party member's name is seraph. they're a fusion of two other party members both of said party members were associated with/resisted ice, and i'm near-certain that they also got the boost to bufu spells (i can check this at some point, i have a backup save right before endgame) the same way gale and argilla do.

but what's seraph's elemental affinities? no weaknesses, no resistances. so what does this mean here?

extra screenshots because the first agidyne was a high roll - literally the highest i've seen on a non-stab unboosted dyne against a narasimha. yet it's still clearly estranged from gale's zandyne and argilla's teradyne.

the other part? seraph's bufudyne does the same as gale's, and the same as argilla's ziodyne and their own agidyne, the same as expected without stab.

i'm not sure what else to say about this thus far besides putting a list of further tests to do eventually / get proper data for:

100s of attempts so it can be statistically analysed better. easy to code the data collection into seraph (my helper program, named after this seraph because. yeah), possibly more difficult to analyse but my partner got me into this game he can deal with the consequences (being asked to do data stuff) :v

including cielo and heat as well, probably after i beat satan and grind them up as a victory lap (in the mantras sense not the internment facility sense)

earlier save reloads for data for serph, sera, and roland - i doubt they'd be any different, but regardless

other elemental spells - both the basic and -la levels, the ma-s, the maxed out mantra ones, and the dances. is the boost approximately consistent?

does it affect combos? i believe it doesn't, same as amp skills and the like (and because i feel like i would have noticed by now), but will get data for both participants initiating

does it affect items? i feel like that's unlikely, but worth trying

is there a 'reverse-stab' for someone's weakness? i don't think so, but i'll get the data for free and if there's a trend i just got to test the ailment damagers for cielo

likewise, is the elemental boost innate like the gun combo elements? almost certainly. but it would be funny if equipping x resist made your x do more damage. and also not really that helpful?

does seraph get a boost on almighty? my first instinct would be yes, purely because of seraph's gun combo doing almighty damage; it's near-useless if you got reincarnate but still worth checking. and if so, does ragnarok behave differently from megido+/last word?

on that note, does seraph resist almighty? i... wouldn't be surprised - status only says no weakness, not no resistance, but almighty resistance tends to be invisible anyway (looking at you, devil survivor 2 that shows everything else) (you're fine just using as an example)

that would be a lot harder to test but if i get a party of seraph / someone with dragon ring / someone else with all maxed stats and just find something with megido+

anything else i might have forgotten

if you hack pyriphlegethon onto heat does it do more damage. i don't think i can test this one but i would. honestly be curious

but yeah. this is pretty cool, maybe i'll check for it in dds1 as well. if anyone else checks any of this out and makes a writeup or anything please ping me i have autistic hyperfocused on jrpg mechanics for over two decades :v

[hotchlove]

Risk - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

• i take requests! plsss dm me or leave them here if u have anything fun you'd like me to write. it can be angst, anytype of trope, smut, etc. • PLZ NOTE: i ONLY do oneshots/blurbs. they differ from long to short depending on the character and story. i do not write series! • risk - 1708 words (I GOT CARRIED AWAY AGAIN.) • desc.: - based on 3x14 "damaged" - angst !!!! - y/n and hotch fighting - happy ending ofc

once again i'm fulfilling my job of breaking hearts!!!!!

• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~ • • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~• • • • ~ ʚĭɞ ~ • • • •

you and aaron have been dating for three years now. you're perfect for each other. it's like you were created for each other, yet you met so late in life - but that's never changed anything. you love him and he loves you, and most importantly, you are great with jack. that kid loves you more than his star wars saber collections - and that means something.

aaron and reid got back from the interview they had with the pre-execution serial killer "chester hardwick". chester is a joker, a mischevious and wilfull serial killer - he's always got something up his sleeve and he's quick with it. you didn't worry about the interview - why would you? they're only in there for half an hour, and can get out by one buzzzz of the door - except maybe it didn't go as planned, which you found out by accidentally eavesdropping on spencer's gloating in the kitchen.

"it was terrifying," spencer admits and stirs his coffee. derek and penelope listening intentively to his telling as i walk into the kitchen. reid doesn't notice, his back to the door, but pen and derek definitely do. they shoot spencer sharp looks that scream 'stop talking.' but despite his boy-genius being, he doesn't notice and continues rambling like some gears shifted in his mind that won't let him shut up. "hotch was ready to rumble," he exagerrates. "he took off his jacket and tie and everything, rolled up his sleeves and looked at chester like he was gonna eat him alive." spencer finally looks up and notices the looks derek and penelope shoot him, causing him to shut up immediate effectively. "wha-" he turns around and gulps, seeing me crossarmed right behind him.

"y/n! what a pleasant surpr-" "save it. aaron did what now?" penelopes lips are zip-shut and derek's struggling to hold back a cackle and probably some stupid comment like "oooh- boss man's in trouble."

"well-" spencer laughs awkwardly. "i overexageratted a little." i shake my head. "no, spencer, what did he do?" i ask, expression stern, angry if you squint.

"i don't- i really shouldn't be the one to tell you this." he looks down at his coffee, still stirring it. "fine. i'll ask him. is he in his office?" he gives a small nods. i make my way to aaron's office, quickly waving at emily and jj as i walk past. i can feel their wide eyes digging daggers into my back, but i don't take the time to explain my frantic attitude and just walk. i usually knock, but not this time. i just burst into his office, to which he looks up widely. he was about to scold whoever it was that just burst his doors like that, but smiles as he sees it's me.

usually i'd melt immediately. the hotch smile - a very rare emotion to others - to me, it's a everyday occurence. "honey," he gets up and walks towards me, his hands pressing onto my lower waist. "what's wrong? are you okay? did anything ha-" "you better have a dang good explanation, aaron." i cross my arms and look up at him, eyebrows scrunched. "explanation? for what?" he laughs, "for risking your life at the interview today." he sighs and his head drops. "i told reid not to tell you." "not the point. what's that all about?" i say, moving away from his grip.

"honey," he looks up with a soft expression. don't use your puppy eyes on me right now, hotchner. "i'm fine. not a scratch. see?" he raises his arms in a mock surrender. "yeah well, i'm not. you can't keep doing this - risking your life when it isn't necessary."

"it was hardly a risk," he interrupts. "again, not the point. hardwick killed people with his bare hands in five minutes. imagine what he can do in thirty."

aaron looks at me, confused. "okay, y/n, i'm sorry. you're right. but i'm fine, okay? reid's fine too. nothing happened."

"well it could have. you have people to come home to, aaron." "god, forget me!" i scoff. "think about jack. your son."

aaron sighs. he knows i'm right, but his stubbornness just won't let himself admit it right now. "i said i'm fine. can we just- stop talking about this? i've got paperwork to do." i scrunch my eyebrows. "no, no. we're talking about this. now." aaron leans on his table and his head drops. he places two fingers at the bridge of his nose and pinches it. "it's my job, y/n. you know that."

"i don't recall throwing punches for fun being apart of ur jobs description. i don't care if hardwick threatened you, me or whoever else. you do not engage in danger unless absolutely necessary. and it wasn't this time. you know it." aaron just nods, not wanting to engage in this conversation anymore.

i roll my eyes slighty and sigh again, my arms dropping. "fine. i'm going home - come home when you're ready to grow up, aaron. don't call me." i say and exit his office in a flash, not even looking back. he was gonna go after me, as he always does, but this time- this time we needed some time apart.

--

i unlock the door to mine and aaron's shared apartment as i see jessica sitting on the couch and jack doing some sort of activity on the coffee table. "hey guys," i smile and jessica looks up. "well look what the cat dragged in. aaron still at work?" i nod and take off my coat. "yeah. thanks for watching jack." i give her a smile of dismissal.

"hey- he's my favorite nephew." "he's your only nephew." "exactly." she smiles and gets up, ruffling jacks hair before going to grab her coat and bag. "you guys have fun, see you tomorrow jack-o!" she says and we both wave her off as the apartment door clinks closed. "whatcha doing?" i ask jack and kneel next to him, peeking over his shoulder. "don't look! it's not done yet." he yells and i laugh, moving back in surrender. "alright, alright. i'll get started on dinner then."

i'm cooking noodles and frying some chicken as i feel a little tug on my shirt, "you can look now." jack says and brings up a piece of paper to my face.

it's a drawing of a little boy with golden hair, presumably him, a woman that looks like it could be me.. and a tall man with dark hair and a classic black suit and red tie- aaron.

i smile and kneel down to place a kiss on jacks cheek, "i love it, jack. are you sure you aren't some kind of secret underground artist? this is really good." he laughs with pride and shakes his head. "nope- i don't think so!" he giggles and runs off back to his paper and pens.

i place the drawing on the counter next to the vegetables i just cut up. "is daddy coming home?" "of course, you know he hates missing dinner time. i'm sure he'll be home soon." i think i'm telling myself that more than i am jack.

"alright buddy, dinner's ready." half an hour passes since jack asked about aaron, and still no sign of him. "but daddy isn't here yet." i sigh. "i know, buddy, but he's got a lot of work to do. let's eat and then bedtime, you'll see him tomorrow. promise." jack nods, although i can sense his sadness about not being able to share his chicken spaghetti with his daddy and tell him all about school. he eats fairly fast, faster than me and then rushes towards the bedroom to put on his jammies. by the time i get there he's sitting on the bed, holding his favorite plushy, waiting for me to tuck him in.

"well look at you," i grin. "eager to sleep, huh? long day at school?" he nods and gets under the covers i hold up for him. i tuck him in tightly and press a kiss to his forehead. "get some sleep, 'kay?" the lights switch off and the door locks as i leave his room, walking down the stairs when i notice a figure entering the front door.

"hey," aaron says and drops his bag, hanging his keys on the key holder. "hi. you missed dinner time." he sighs, "i kno-" "and bedtime." i look at my watch - 10:30 P.M. "can we talk?" he asks, making his way to the kitchen where i'm standing washing dishes, trying very hard to avoid his gaze in which i know i'll melt the second i see it. "are you ready to be rational?"

"y/n, i'm really sorry." he says and i sigh, turning off the sink and wiping my hands before turning to him and holding onto the counter behind my back. "i know what i did today wasn't necessary. i'm sorry. forgive me, please." he pleads, and god do i wish i could just run into his arms and kiss his sadness away.

i drop my head, "i hate when you do this, aaron. putting yourself in unnecessary danger. i know your job requires stuff like this- but this time.. this time it wasn't needed." i look up with teary eyes as my voice breaks and aaron's eyes widen. he walks up to me and places his hands on my hips again.

"y/n.. i'm sorry. i know you were scared. i'm sorry." "i was. but i was more scared of having to tell jack his daddy isn't coming home anymore." aaron's expression drops. i can't tell if it's sadness, disappointment or if the thought of that scared the hell out of him.

"jesus, y/n, i'm so sorry." he hugs me and digs his chin into my shoulder. "i'm sorry i put you through that." he shakes his head and i wipe away the tear falling on my cheek.

he pulls away from the hug to look at me and tucks some hair behind my ear, "it won't happen again. i promi- i swear." i nod and he smiles, placing a quick kiss on my lips. "i love you." "i love you too." "do you forgive me?"

"always."

[dollieroulette]

An Exciting Development--

The last Mystery Doll purchase of the year! I had been holding off posting about him due to some....somewhat shady practices from the estate company (who I am going to leave anonymous, haha.) A quick explanation! (EDIT: Quick. Lol. Sure, Rose. ok.) I saw this doll lot on an online bidding site-- got excited, figured I'd give it a go. The pictures left a lot to be desired; slightly blurry, no real details other than the box.

(I see you, Dollfie Dream insert.) So...the original pictures were not great. More under the cut!

Hm. Great. Still! I am intrigued! So I shot him a message asking for clearer photos-- he gave me his phone number to call or to text for more information (not entirely uncommon for estate sale/resale folks.) and I did so, eager to see if I could puzzle out what I was looking at before jumping all in on bidding. He sent me these pics after I asked:

The back of a Modoll head.

A mystery head-- is this the head that goes to the Modoll back? (Spoiler: It is not)

oh- ok. Maybe this guy is the modoll head? (Spoiler: Again, no.)

Mm. Oh. Ok. Alright.

Ok, yeah, see this I'm intrigued by. Alright! I was pleased, I thanked the man and put in a bid! It should be noted here that I've left some photos out-- there was some old con merch included that belonged to a con staff person. I figure I'll spare them the possibility of being doxed, as I'm not sure what led them to getting rid of their project doll and con merch. (Estate auctions, especially this sort of auction, are not always a result of the object owner's death-- in this case, I think that maybe the person who owned this doll sold off their belongings as a lot. They likely are still kickin'. At least I hope they are!) So, from here things got weird. I was in the process of researching (Image searching and the like) when I found that the estate sale company had also listed it...on ebay. For 800 bucks. Lol; ok. New pics led me nowhere really other than to confirm that this was, in fact, the same lot I had just bid on three days prior on an entirely different site. I was a bit anxious but obstinate. Write that on my grave.

I realized he did this probably because during our conversation I explained why the doll having, y'know, human parts wasn't all that strange? It was just a doll. With anatomy. He seemed to think that it having "male parts" made it..."adult". We both had a laugh about that. Following that I explained why I was interested in the doll-- I knew that he MAY turn around and go "oh I want more for this," but I cannot resist the urge to explain one of my hyperfixations. I guess he missed the bit where I said, "This doll is potentially worth a pretty penny-- however, without seeing it in person I have no way of knowing if it's legit or not, and most people do not want to spend much on a fake doll, which this could very well be." So uhhh...he took the first half of that sentence and tried to list the damn thing at close to the original cost for...the doll on front of the box. Which, uh, this doll is not. Nor is it in the sort of condition that would sell for 800 bucks. Whatever~! Whatever. I won the previous auction for....

Thirty Two American DollARS.

And then anxiously waited for the doll to ship to me. Which, after some trouble (The USPS did not scan the box it was sent to me in ONCE, leaving me AND the sales person very nervous.) it DID ARRIVE. HOWEVER. It arrived while I was out of town-- 14 hours out of town. Further inspection would have to wait...although I did force my buddy Mallory to unbox him to take a pic of his bod for me.

She made a point to tell me that this process was weird as all hell. "It's fine, it's art." I assured her. "I am deleting these pictures immediately. Also, I'm not putting his clothes back on." She responded. Fair enough. What an interesting fellow, though! Who's bod is this? Also he appeared to be -big sized-, which was exciting. As per usual, I turned to the BJD Discord. They pretty immediately got the bod narrowed down to a LUTS model-- this one, specifically. Rad.

The head though-- no clue. Maybe a DIM Minimee? Possibly a sculpt meant to be a specific jrocker or visual kai artist? We couldn't get it hammered out. It didn't help that the back of his head was uh... bad. It was bad. Whoever owned him previously was very obviously trying to mod him for -some reason- and had scraped off or cut out any sign of company name. Ah well. I'd have to wait till I got home to examine him in person. And GOOD NEWS. I AM HOME. I HAVE EXAMINED HIM IN PERSON. I'm losing light steadily so probably won't post for another day or so with the "Check out all the parts" update, but-- SOON. I can confirm, however, that the body looks to be legitimate. The dress, too, was unopened and very well made-- leading me to believe that it is also a legit dollfie dream outfit. As for the other bits? Not a clue. We have two heads missing the back plates and a set of hands that belong to the dollfie dream on the box. One head is still a mystery and the other seems to be a dollzone head-- slightly bigger than my previous fella, but not by much. :) So there we have it! The last doll of the year. Expect a couple more posts in regards to this massive fella.

[bookwyrminspiration]

omg i was anon and it IS orv how'd you guess!! anyways its so incredibly quilcoded you NEED to read it like. yesterday. its so good

firstly!! you would actually rlly adore kim dokja he's a complete fucking loser. picking him up kicking him around like a soccer ball do you catch my drift. he HATES himself he likes reading trashy novels he's concerningly relatable. also you could ship him with anyone if you tried hard enough or he could definitely be aroace if you squint. choice is yours the world is your oyster. also he canonically has a very funny kink that the novel likes to bring up over and over again. like i said. loser

(tbh i think youd also really be partial to yoo joonghyuk or one of the side characters but. idk thats up to you to decide. when you fucking read it)

secondly! the worldbuilding quil you would go HAM on the worldbuilding there's soooo much to explore with the star stream and constellations vs incarnations and its just SOOO insane. ugh i dont wanna spoil a lot but theres just so many different THINGS and it makes me a little bit feral

THIRDLY found family. thats it thats the post. they are all so unbearably lonely and they all find each other and they LOVE EACH OTHER and contrary to kim dokja's opinion they love him too and its just so fucking. ugh. all of their dynamics. (the kids especially get to me they are SO funny and stupid. siblingcoded as fuck)

also would it help if i tell you that there is quite literally no romance in this book! which is kind of unheard of for power fantasy novels! (ok there is like one side couple but its slow burn af and they take forever to get together and theyre rlly cute anyway but i digress)

there's mpreg. will not elaborate but it seems like youd fuck with it

furthermore!! idk the overarching themes......... story inside a story the inherent and unconditional love of a reader for said story reader vs writer vs protagonist OHHH love letter to stories themselves. actually. fuck man the feelings

its rlly stupid sometimes. actual crack. then it kicks you in the balls and makes you feel emotions you never knew you had before

but yeah pls read it!! i will convince you even more if necessary. you need to get in on this before 2025 at the very least bc there is an anime coming out and you have to be able to say you were here before that to assert dominance. anyways

(also WHEN you read it bc you will. pls livetweet in my inbox i love reactions its a fucking ride)

Not only was I right that it was orv, but I was also correct that it was you, Roshan. Though I didn't write that down, so you'll just have to trust me

I do have some understanding of the story beyond this because an irl of mine was reccing it a couple weeks ago, but from that it's also my understanding that learning anything about the story prior will not help me going in. it simply defies explanation and I just gotta read it

I must say though, you do know the right things to say. I LOVE stories about stories I LOVE meta I LOVE love letters to stories! I LOVE worldbuilding I LOVE found family. i LOVE wet rag guys, sopping on the floor pathetic loser men. and no romance!!! that's not to say any romance is bad, it's just nice to have a break sometimes

"there's mpreg. will not elaborate but it seems like youd fuck with it" can. can I confess something real quick. i deadass almost included mpreg in the "keys to get quil to read something." but then I was like no i shant, even though it's true. and then you said it yourself anyway! because it seems like i'd fuck with it! well i DO and I WILL. mpreg is like an automatic read for me. don't worry about that

OKAY okay i will read. where. where do I read it. i've heard of both a manga and a webcomic...maybe..? which should I go with and where should I find it. I am at your command 🫡

(i will probably liveblog instead of directly in ur inbox but maybe i'll do both)

[frownyalfred]

hi res,, im a huge, huge fan of your fics and i've been scrolling through your tumblr for the last hours/day while falling in and out of a weird stomach pain that is totally ruining my winter break! i also don't really know how tumblr works but i had to express my love for you, I feel so much better reading your stuff 😍 your tumblr posts are also amazing, thank you so so much for all your contributions to this fandom AND to ao3/fandom culture in general!! (wow that was a lot of exclamation marks, i swear i know how to end a sentence with other punctuation 😃 namely emojis 😃😃)

I had a question about your opinions on some ships, IF YOU'RE AMENABLE, feel free to ignore; i know you're a super busy person and this is going to be a long message, I'm overwhelmed looking at it myself 😅

Firstly, shipping the batkids together??? I've seen a few fics like that, especially the robins (e.g. dick/jason, jason/tim??) but I generally avoid them bc they make me feel uncomfy personally, even if they're not characterized as brothers/sisters in that particular fic - cuz i cant kid myself into thinking that i'll ever see them as anything but siblings 🥹

then there's also the stephanie/tim thing?? my understanding of stephanie's dynamic in the batfamily is limited since i got into the dc fandom mainly through fic, but i'm under the impression that some canons have that, and stephanie is not totally considered part of the batfamily (as in bruce's daughter). while other times it's tim/kon, and I'm very supportive of the increasing inclusion of queer representation in the "dc canon", but i guess it's just that the batkids all feel like children, like babies even 🥺🥺

yea so that was a pretty long winded explanation for a quick question😭 my bad

and finally, my otp, ghostbat 🥹🥰 i've never really seen you post anything about them, it is definitely a much rarer ship, but i'd love to know your opinion 💙 i would absolutely recommend taking a look into it if you haven't already, their dynamic is so unique (imo) and heart-wrenching! i havent found that much content about them, so if there are any suggestions for content for them, i will take literally anything 🥺

yeah so thanks for looking through all of this mess, i love you and your beautiful brain so much, sending positive vibes and well wishes your way <3

Hi anon! Thank you so much, and sorry you're not feeling well. Some quick answers to your questions below:

People do ship the batkids together, in a variety of related/not related scenarios. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Some people like it. Some people get very squicked by it. All reactions are valid. I am a big proponent of ship and let ship -- people are going to write what they're going to write. If you don't like to read that, hit the back button. Like you said, you have already identified that you don't like it, and now you avoid it. That's awesome!

Tim/Steph vs Tim/Kon can also be a touchy subject in fandom. Steph's inclusion in the batfamily depends on the fanon and/or canon. People have strong opinions about this. My reaction is always, teens have relationships. Messy relationships. Tim and Steph and Tim and Kon can all happen and it doesn't make anyone more or less deserving of love or a relationship. They're kids figuring themselves out -- it makes sense that it's messy.

I like ghostbat! I will admit I'm not as familiar with the ship as I could be. I mostly consume secondhand info here on tumblr. @allgremlinart's blog is a great place to start if you haven't already.

Hope that helps! Feel better soon, anon.

[acidcorrodes]

A bit of background info about Dmitry as a character and how he came to be

The below discussion is long and potentially triggering. I'll place most of it under a read more, just this time. I want to talk at length about Dmitry as a character and specifically about my original intent when I created him. It's been more than a decade of writing him and I've been interacting with new people lately, so it's time to say this — especially because I haven't quite updated my info pages. It is very important to me to share this thought process with you all so you can hopefully understand better why he is the way he is and why I write him the way I do. I keep finding myself struggling to explain concisely why he's so endearing and so likeable even though he sounds like a whole mess on paper, and why a character like him has so much baggage in the backstory. Hopefully this post will help explain that.

Content warning: Mentions (not descriptions, just bringing it up as a topic) of mental illness, abuse (incl. sexual), and eating disorders.

Length: 3266 words (about 10 to 15 minutes).

Unlike some of my other characters, created on a whim, or with a purpose for the plot, or with a random and very specific vibe as a concept, Dmitry is a character I created extremely intentionally and very, very carefully. His character development over the years, too, has been and continues to be very intentionally and very carefully done. I think this potentially gets lost in how limiting a bio blurb or quick ramble can be; I don't always get to detail this intentionality and purpose, and I don't always have to nor choose to, either. This is not a muse that can successfully be described in 2 sentences. His Pinterest board alone has as many pins in it as all the other muse Pinterest boards I have, combined, and still with that, it is still nowhere near being the most accurate or the most complete explanation for who he is as a muse. I'm saying this to hopefully convey why this post is so long and why I'm never quite satisfied with his bio page. There are 10+ years of nuance and context and careful, thought-out characterization here. I couldn't possibly detail every single thing.

Some preamble

Before I start rambling about him properly, I want to clear up two things. First, no one has to justify writing a character they write. I don't have to justify writing him and this is not what this post is about. The point of this post is to hopefully put to words why he's so important and so dear to me as a muse, and to hopefully help you understand some decisions I make in writing him. Second, this is a character I created in 2013. A lot has changed since then, and I have put an unending amount of love and care and effort into writing this specific character. I'm going to share with you why that is and why I even bother with it. Please be aware that I'm trying to condense 10+ years and a lot of nuance into a single, hopefully not too-long-to-read post. Any of what I talk about here, I am happy to expand on more in-depth privately with you whenever. Consider him my passion writing project, yeah? I absolutely adore talking about him and I love that people love him too.

Dmitry is, first and foremost, a character I write because he's a character I want to read about. Back when I created him, and I'd argue even today, I noticed certain gaps in the types of characters presented in different forms of media (and reader, I am an avid consumer of stories), as well as certain issues with representation and lack thereof of certain types of characters that I, simply put, didn't see anyone else address and I very desperately wanted to read stories about. I created Dmitry as a way to fill that gap and as a way to say some things I thought (and still think) needed (and need) to be said. The gaps, which translate to my goals in writing him specifically the way he is, are (in no particular order) as follows:

Good representation of bipolar disorder

Characters with trauma/PTSD

Male characters who have suffered abuse (particularly sexual) and domestic violence

Male characters with eating disorders

Asexual-spectrum characters

Characters who are so radically loving that it shocks other characters and it stands out in the stories about them

Yes, these topics have been, and are, variably covered or addressed by existing characters and stories. I'll explain why I considered it important to write about anyway. I want to also say that the combination is, itself, part of the point; it's not just about any one of these issues. I'm choosing to deal with them together, in a single character, on purpose. Note here that I am talking about my conception of Dmitry as a whole. This is the underlying core of who he is intended to be as a character, absent the context of whatever thread or interaction or plot is going on. I am pointing this out because, over time, there are some aspects I've chosen to modify in specific plots and threads and with specific writers and muses I'm interacting with. This I've done either to tone down or write around certain topics so as to avoid someone's triggers —which I'm happy to do, by the way— or because something slightly different better-served the situation I was throwing him into — which I love doing, too. Dmitry specifically is a very flexible muse because... ultimately, I can convey who he is without having to keep the exact same backstory always or without having to tell you the full details surrounding him. What I'm describing here is what I build from when I'm deciding what to do in crafting a story with you. In other words: there's different "versions" of Dmitry, as I noted in a post recently, but ultimately they're all expressions of the same thing. So here it is:

Regarding bipolar disorder:

This one's a little personal. There are bipolar characters in media, of course. I've seen a good few of them. There aren't, to my knowledge, very many — and there are even fewer well-written ones. [ I liked Kelly Reilly in Black Box (2014, a little complicated because it was only one season so they didn't quite have time to present it properly) and I liked Kat Baker in Spinning Out (2020, again: one season is not enough time for the kind of nuance needed). I do not like Silver Linings Playbook, but that doesn't mean it's awful rep or whatever. ] The problem with bipolar disorder in media is that it's often either a plot device (very little chance for nuance and sensitivity for this specifically), a caricature or stereotype, or it's stigmatizing. I wanted to avoid all three of those things. I wanted a character that is actually written with care, who goes through something that is believable, and who is a whole person aside from that anyway.

There's a little caveat here, in that since this is writing and this is roleplay, the situations that happen are not necessarily realistic and neither are all the characters involved. The line I'm constantly very, very aware of is this: I don't want to stereotype or write a caricature, but I do have to exaggerate a little. The difficulty with writing in this kind of platform is that outlandish situations and energetic, impulsive, bad-decision-making characters are not seen as unusual in the same way that a real person behaving that way would definitely come across as at least different. This means that, while I would love to write bipolar II instead of bipolar I (so, hypomania instead of mania, i.e. my own experience), I can't. The point would be lost.

For a reader to perceive it as his behavior being out of the norm, I have to write full-blown mania. (It's fun to write but definitely a challenge, and I haven't done that in a hot minute because people needed context to it.) I write him based on my own experiences, but I turn it up to 11, if you will. I also write based on other people's experiences as they themselves tell it. Due to the nature of what it is, not every plot lets me showcase it well or necessarily even at all: I need to be able to have the context of the in-story passage of time, I need the space to be able to write you a long (and I mean long) reply, I need the time to put that together (especially accounting for speech patterns, it's a little like writing very loose/odd poetry), I need to know that your character will be able to respond to that in a way that lets you write your reply (so I need to know how you write and what your character is like, so I can figure out where to interrupt his stream of thought and action), and a few other big considerations. I would love to write it more often — I need plotting to be able to do it, though.

Regarding trauma/PTSD:

There's two main kinds of traumatized characters in media: characters who have been through trauma and are basically magically cured as if it never even happened, and characters who have been through trauma and the trauma is the entirety of who they are and they'll never live beyond that. There's a third type of story that I think is more important to tell, and there's some characters that fit in this type but again, I thought it important: characters who have trauma, and they live and are people aside from that. Yes, it sometimes gets in the way, there are bad days and there are triggers. But the character isn't just their trauma, and they're not stuck in it 24/7. This is, I think, the way a lot of people live with it, and it needn't be absent from stories. Simply put, stories about trauma should not be limited to stereotypes and caricatures either.

This aspect of Dmitry is generally easier to weave into stories because it's something that I think most people have some idea what's going on in the first place, and because it's something that doesn't require a mile of your dashboard to convey. I's sometimes very obvious, and sometimes very subtle, but it's something that is there and affects how he reacts to situations and words and people.

In discussing the PTSD thing, I should also discuss why this kind of traumatic experience, and why express the PTSD like this. His traumatic experiences are not my own, I want to be clear about that. have not been through anything remotely close to that kind of horror. I chose to write a male character who went through abuse and assault because at the time, I genuinely couldn't think of a single one who wasn't also a villain. There's a very real lack of support for male victims of abuse/assault (even at a legal level), and there's a very impactful lack of encouragement for men to seek help for mental health. I think this often causes harmful behaviors that then wind up being targeted at women, and ultimately, I want the world to be better for everyone. As a woman, I care about this. (Note I'm speaking in binary here but it's because of the statistics I happen to have come across; I don't intend to exclude trans/nb people — that's a demographicthat suffers violence and abuse from others at very high rates and no one deserves that.)

I wanted to get across two things: a) past abuse does not provide an excuse to be shitty and abuse another person. It can provide context, but it's ultimately still a choice and one can choose to be kind instead, and b) this shit happens and if no one talks about it in a way that isn't shaming a person who's been through that, then there's not very much incentive to ask for help. In other words, it needs to be talked about in such a way that "you can ask for help" is actually a real possibility, where people will not be mocked for it or ridiculed or laughed at or stigmatized. I'm only one writer, but a story is a story and it counts, I think. Similar logic applies to the eating disorder aspect, and I want to clarify that for him as a character, it's in large part due to the types of abuse and assault he's been through; it's the reaction he had to that, and it's something that truly happens to people people (though everyone reacts to trauma differently and each person with PTSD experiences it differently too).

Regarding asexuality:

I'm just so goddamn tired of all characters implied to be asexual also being That Specific Kind of Asshole. There's so few to start with, they don't all have to be BBC Sh*rlock levels of rude and unlikeable. And while we're talking about it, there's a lot of variety too that isn't represented in media. Not all asexual people are sex-repulsed, not all asexual people are also aromantic, etc. Additionally, not all asexual characters have sexual trauma (and while in the case of Dmitry both things are there, they're not related; he'd have been asexual even without the trauma).

Ironically, this specific aspect of Dmitry has caused me trouble a few times in writing, possibly because people either don't understand the point there or they don't understand him as a character, or some combination of that or other factors. I can't presume to know, that's just speculation on my part. Still, it's also an aspect of him as a character that I cannot and will not change.

He is asexual. He is also incredibly intensely romantic, enjoys sex (on his terms, when he's comfortable with it, and I seldom if ever actually write those scenes purely because of my own interests in writing), and loves. He's gentle and sensitive, and he puts himself in other people's shoes and feels with them. He's no less a lover for being asexual, and if anything, he's very intentional about it and about how he expresses it and how he lets people know (including when he chooses to have sex about it). Which brings me to the last point:

A character that loves radically

Ultimately, and this may be slightly an influence from Catholicism and how that shaped my idea of what love is: I wanted to write a character that loves recklessly and radically.

Through everything I have just written, after everything he's been through, after all the hardship and suffering he keeps going through, the single most important thing about Dmitry (and also my single most favorite thing about him) is the way he loves. He chooses, constantly and actively, to love wholeheartedly. He's someone who dives headfirst without even checking how deep that end of the pool is, when it comes to choosing to love. He's incredibly loyal, both in romantic love and in non-romantic love (friendship, family). He's entirely willing to sacrifice himself, even for only a friend; even fora complete stranger. The way he loves is very deliberately something I put in the spotlight over and over and over. I also really enjoy presenting it as Romantic (aka Gothic) horror, because it only drives the point further: he's the kind of guy to tear his own heart out and give it to you so you can live, even if he dies.

Dmitry is, more than anything, a lover with reckless abandon. If there is one single thing you should remember about him, it is that. All the rest is confetti.

One last note to add:

With all of the above said, I can explain now this: as a result of all of that, Dmitry is often an unpredictable character. He sometimes acts impulsively, other times (actually most of the time) he acts on emotion purely. He reacts viscerally to subtle environmental or interpersonal cues, things that you might not even have realized you slipped into the description or the words your muse was saying. He constantly surprises even me, and I'm the one writing him! This is why I'm so hesitant to just assume he has known your character for a long time or that they have been dating for a long time or something like that. I'm the first to ship him with just about any muse, genuinely, but I need to be able to get a feel for what your muse is like, how your muse reacts to him, and how he reacts to them. I especially need a feel for how they react to each other when the topics I've just talked about come up. Some muses, I get an intuition for more quickly than others. If I've written with someone for a long enough time, I'm even willing to do the assumed "they've known each other for ages" because I trust their understanding of him as a character and all of the above. What I'm saying is: please don't take it personally if I refuse a ship you're proposing or if I refuse a pre-established relationship dynamic. It's purely in the interest of my respect for the effort you put into your muse and out of respect for my own muse as well.

There's also the interplay between darker themes and the lighthearted side of Dmitry. He is both, he is not one or the other. The modifications I make, the things I choose to highlight (or sidestep), the way I present him, it's highly variable depending on the kind of thread, the kind of vibe, the kind of plot we have going. I love writing the darker aspects of him as a character, he's not all sunshine. He's got the capacity to kill too, especially in avenging. He's morally much more grey than you might assume. He can behave selfishly, he can be manipulated and pushed into darker spirals. As I originally created, he was much stubborn, more sarcastic and standoffish, more guarded. That still is in there, it just gets brought out with certain kinds of situations and plots, and not with others. He's a character that reacts in different ways to different environments, and it can give different impressions of who he really is and what he really is like.

Ultimately, this is a horror blog and my favorite genres to write are Romantic (Gothic) horror and also magical realism. I love supernatural kinda vibes and plots and ideas. I love tragic things, angsty things, the kinda soul-crushing, gut-wrenching plotlines that absolutely shatter because of how attached one becomes to the characters involved. I write those things best, aside from pure fluff (love me some sugar on the dash). If you want to get deep, really deep, into who he is as a character, and if you want to dive into all that I have just described, that's the kind of genre where it works best. It requires a lot of plotting, it requires long-term kind of thinking, but I love love love writing that stuff. If you're interested in that, I am asking you to let me know because I am dying to be given the chance to dive in like that.

And hey, all of this and I didn't even mention Lisbeth nor his interests and personality traits (sort of). Unbelievable.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

REVERSAL AU - A Hesitant Alliance

...so, I might not be planning on doing any headcanon posts about the Reversal AU anytime soon, but I never said anything about transcripts! And more to the point, I got ideas after finally writing out that headcanon post yesterday, so here's a transcript of how Risky and the Chimera Pirates end up teaming up in Pirate's Curse!

(Here are the earlier transcripts I've written for the Reversal AU if you haven't seen those or need a refresher)

[RISKY stomps into her lighthouse and slams the door. Notably, in contrast to her usual appearance, Risky now has a few black streaks going through her hair and looks notably disheveled...not that this is particularly new to her here]

RISKY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

RISKY: Curse that swashbuckling captain, curse her rag-tag mishmash of a crew, and curse that THRICE-DAMNED, MAGIC-STEALING, GILDED PAPERWEIGHT OF A LAMP!

RISKY: Ever since Captain Shantae used that Magic Lamp on me, my magic's gone completely haywire! That accursed lamp did something to me, I know it!

RISKY: It's the only explanation! It can't-it CAN'T be-...!

RISKY: ...

RISKY: ...well, even if she never got the minion she wanted, I suppose Captain Shantae did end up getting the last laugh after all. My days as a GUARDIAN GENIE are done.

RISKY: SIGH...I can't even be mad about it; I'm sure this would've happened even WITHOUT Wrecker Baron taking over the town.

RISKY: I've never been one for bubble baths, but I might as well get one now. Who knows how long I'll have even that luxury?

[After a quick fade to black, the scene changes to the BATHTUB being full of water and bubbles while RISKY stands next to it]

RISKY: Oh, that looks good...I have to admit, I'm actually looking forward to this. I've had to deal with so much STRESS and TENSION lately! Let me just get these-!

RISKY: ...Wait a minute.

RISKY: When on earth did my bathtub get moved to the first floor!?

[It's at that exact moment that all the water drains from the tub at a rapid pace, and before RISKY can react, a bear trap on a spring lunges out from the BATHTUB and clamps around RISKY's torso]

RISKY: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!

[The bear trap then pulls RISKY into the BATHTUB by force, and a HARPY and SCORPGAL then drop from the ceiling]

HARPY: HA! And you guys thought the booby-trapped bathtub wouldn't work!

RISKY: YOU...! The Chimera Pirates!

SCORPGAL: In the flesh.

HARPY: And the best of the best!

HARPY: You must be shaking in your boots, having to deal with us top officers of the crew!

RISKY: Hmph! Top GOONS is more like it.

HARPY: HEY!

RISKY: ...and, unrelated, aren't there usually THREE of you?

SCORPGAL: He's currently outside to keep anyone from interfering with our interrogation.

HARPY: Or, to be more accurate, he's currently outside because he's a total WEENIE.

[The camera shifts slightly over to the door]

WETMAN: Am not!

HARPY: Mhm? You want to come in here to prove it then? Come in here and face the...

HARPY: ...SOAP BUBBLES?

WETMAN: ...no...

RISKY: For the love of-the tub's not even FULL, you idiot!

WETMAN: Oh.

[The WETMAN promptly enters the room through RISKY'S door, jumps up to the ceiling, and then drops down next to the HARPY and SCORPGAL]

WETMAN: Yeah, I'm fine with this.

RISKY: What do you numbskulls want, anyway? Haven't you and your captain ruined my life enough?

HARPY: Ruined YOUR life? YOU'RE the one who's been ruining OUR lives!

WETMAN: What she said!

RISKY: What are you TALKING about!?

HARPY: Don't play dumb, you HALF-WIT BLUNDER!

SCORPGAL: Yesterday, our captain was attacked by a STRANGE, BAT-LIKE CREATURE.

WETMAN: 'Course, captain being the captain, she fought it off, no sweat, but...she was really freaked by that. I've never seen her SCARED before...

HARPY: Before we could even figure out what THAT was about, the captain blew through the water like Davy Jones was behind us to get to shore, and then...and then...!

HARPY: She told us s-she was...she was...DISBANDING THE CHIMERA PIRATES!

RISKY: ...

RISKY: Wow. How terrible. Let me out and I'll play you the violin.

HARPY: Don't try and fake sympathy, you HEARTLESS MONSTER! I don't know what that thing was, but it was nowhere NEAR natural!

HARPY: The only ones who could've made such a thing...are YOU and your FREAKY MENTOR! YOU TWO are the ones who TOOK AWAY MY LIFE!

WETMAN: You mean OUR lives.

HARPY: ...yeah, that. That's what I meant.

RISKY: Really? That's the route you want to take? You want to blame me, the "half-wit blunder," in your own words, who currently can't so much as throw a fireball without it exploding in my face...

RISKY: ...and Mimic, who only works with TECHNOLOGY, and, need I remind you, is YOUR CAPTAIN'S UNCLE?

HARPY: Yooooooou-!

SCORPGAL: I'll admit, I'm skeptical myself, but it's not IMPOSSIBLE. The only way you can prove your innocence to us...

SCORPGAL: ...is to let us into Mimic's LAB.

HARPY: I, uh-YEAH! Let us in there or ELSE!

HARPY: (That wasn't part of the plan, bug-brain; what do you think you're doing!?)

SCORPGAL: (If anyone can tell us what frightened the captain so badly, it would be her FAMILY, you airhead.)

RISKY: ...on the one hand, I don't want to let any of you within an INCH of Mimic's workshop...

RISKY: On the other, I highly doubt any of you will actually be able to USE anything in there, and it'll get you out of my hair so I can focus on my REAL problems...

RISKY: Fine! I'll tell you where he hid the key.

WETMAN: Heheh, pleasure doing business with you!

RISKY: Right, right...now, if you'd let me-?

HARPY: Not a chance, you yellow-bellied menace!

~~~~

[After a fade to black, the scene cuts to the three CHIMERA PIRATES in MIMIC's lab, with RISKY still trapped in the BATHTUB, which is being held by the WETMAN. A TINKERBAT is in the glass container in the center of the room]

RISKY: What on earth...!?

SCORPGAL: ...!

HARPY: Oh, come ON! Where's the incriminating stuff!?

RISKY: Are you SERIOUSLY ignoring the strange creature that Mimic has, apparently, been holding without my knowledge!?

HARPY: Eh, it's not that BAT-THING, so I don't care. Don't even know what that is.

HARPY: ...which is weird, now that I think about it, because the captain's brought in practically every sapient species under the sun, but I've never seen anything like THAT in the captain's crew.

HARPY: Either of you know what that thing is?

WETMAN: Not a clue.

SCORPGAL: ...TINKERBAT...

HARPY: Uh, Tinker-what now?

[It's at that moment that a cloud of DARK MAGIC is pumped into the glass chamber via pipe, causing the TINKERBAT to rapidly mutate into a CACKLEBAT]

RISKY: WHAT IN BLAZES!?

HARPY: I KNEW IT! THAT THING'S WHAT ATTACKED THE CAPTAIN!

[The CACKLEBAT then begins to throw itself against the glass in an effort to escape]

RISKY: Putting THAT aside for later - that thing looks like it's going to attack US if we don't do something!

RISKY: Since you seem so insistent on keeping me locked up in here, YOU fight it!

HARPY: U-us!? It took the captain to fight that thing off last time! if I tried, it'd bite my tail feathers off, and who knows what'd happen to these two losers!

WETMAN: I resent that!

HARPY: Can't you just, I don't know, whip up a big stone guy to punch it into a wall!?

RISKY: Thanks to your CAPTAIN, it'd be just as likely to do that to US as it'd be to do it to that thing! Got any other bright ideas!?

HARPY: GRRRRRRRR...!

SCORPGAL: If we grab your weapons, do you think you could fight the CACKLEBAT?

HARPY: Wha-!?

RISKY: Well...I suppose I managed to fight myself just fine without magic. Can't be much harder than that...

SCORPGAL: Don't hold your breath. Get ready for the fight of your life, half-genie...

~~~~

[After the CACKLEBAT fight...]

[The CACKLEBAT explodes violently, leaving behind a cloud of dark magic]

RISKY: ...what IS that...?

SCORPGAL: Danger. Use this, half-genie!

[The SCORPGAL tosses RISKY the MAGIC LAMP, which she holds aloft in the typical item get animation. After sucking up the DARK MAGIC, she turns to the CHIMERA PIRATES]

SCORPGAL: Come on, we're leaving.

HARPY: Are you nuts!? That twit still has the-

SCORPGAL: She can keep it.

RISKY: What?

HARPY: WHAT!?

SCORPGAL: We have more important things to worry about...especially if the PIRATE MASTER has returned.

[The SCORPGAL forcibly escorts the HARPY and WETMAN out, leaving RISKY alone]

RISKY: The PIRATE MASTER?

~~~~

[Upon following the trio outside, the camera shifts to the CHIMERA PIRATES as RISKY runs up to them]

RISKY: HOLD IT, you! You have a lot of explaining to do!

WETMAN: I hate to agree with the eternal thorn in our side, but she has a point.

HARPY: Yeah, what gives!? What's the big deal with this PIRATE MASTER anyway?

SCORPGAL: I'm not surprised none of you know; it was before your time. The PIRATE MASTER was the greatest scourge Sequin Land has ever known.

SCORPGAL: He plundered and pillaged, leaving a wide trail of destruction wherever his accursed flag went, and scarring nearly all of Sequin Land as a whole...

SCORPGAL: ...including CAPTAIN SHANTAE.

HARPY: What do you-!?

SCORPGAL: I'm not confirming or denying anything. That's the captain's story to tell. The point is, he was the worst thing to sail the seven seas, and it took every Guardian Genie to take him down.

SCORPGAL: And from the looks of it, not even death has been enough to stop him permanently. He must be using DARK MAGIC to facilitate his resurrection...

RISKY: DARK MAGIC?

SCORPGAL: It's what TINKERBATS are made up of, and what turned the one we saw before into their evolved state, the CACKLEBAT.

SCORPGAL: Whereas you genies and other magical species work together WITH magic, DARK MAGIC is the result of forcing magic to do as you will. The PIRATE MASTER is a master of the art.

RISKY: ...forcing magic to do as you will...

RISKY: SON OF A SEA DOG, THAT'S WHY MY MAGIC HASN'T BEEN WORKING RIGHT! When it was taken by that LAMP, it must have been converted to DARK MAGIC!

SCORPGAL: That would be the most logical explanation. While DARK MAGIC isn't inherently evil, Genies have no defenses against its corruptive properties. It's why the PIRATE MASTER uses it as one of his most effective tools.

SCORPGAL: Your human half is likely protecting you from it having a major effect on your mind, but since your magic is actively at war with you now...

RISKY: ...trying to use it results in utter disaster.

HARPY: Okay, that's cool and all, but what does ANY of that have to do with the captain!?

SCORPGAL: I suspect she plans to deal with the Pirate Master herself...and she disbanded the Chimera Pirates so she wouldn't risk losing one of us.

HARPY: C-Captain...she...she really...?

RISKY: Oh, PLEASE. Do you honestly expect me to believe that pirate would do anything for the greater good?

SCORPGAL: I EXPECT that you'd recognize the greater threat here, half-genie! If the PIRATE MASTER manages to return, I don't doubt he'll raze Sequin Land to the ground out of pure spite!

WETMAN: Yeah, and you can't exactly work in a sea of ashes...if nothing else, I think you can say the boss wouldn't want the kingdom she's worked so hard to build herself up in to burn.

RISKY: ...THAT'S...actually a fair point. I can believe in her self-interest as a motive, if nothing else.

HARPY: Oh, CRAM IT, you-!

SCORPGAL: We don't have time to argue here. Half-Genie, unless you have anything else you want from us, we're going to start looking for our captain now.

WETMAN: But, uh, didn't you say...

SCORPGAL: HMPH! Just because I understand WHAT the captain did and WHY doesn't mean I agree with her decision. Trust me, I intend to tear her a new one when I get a chance.

RISKY: HA! Now that I'd like to see!

RISKY: But, in all seriousness, I do have one request for you three.

SCORPGAL: And that is?

RISKY: Let me join you.

SCORPGAL: ...

SCORPGAL: I beg your pardon?

RISKY: You heard me! I have no intention of twiddling my thumbs and doing nothing while I know someone like the PIRATE MASTER is trying to wreak havoc!

RISKY: And while I'd rather drown than work with that overdramatic blowhard of a pirate you call a captain, it DOES sound like CAPTAIN SHANTAE has a lead, so I'll suck it up just this once.

RISKY: Any objections?

HARPY: ...I'll get back to you when I clean the wax out of my ears, because I'm pretty sure I heard everything you said wrong.

WETMAN: I'd probably be doing the same if I could build up wax in my ears, but as it is, uh...I guess I don't have anything against you personally?

WETMAN: Aside from you ruining the captain's plans, I mean.

SCORPGAL: ...

SCORPGAL: Are you sure you're up for this? Even with your magic currently being unreliable?

RISKY: I got along just fine for YEARS without relying on my magic, and I can get along without it just fine now!

RISKY: Besides, who's to say I won't find a way to get my magic back to normal along the way? It's certainly not impossible.

SCORPGAL: I...

SCORPGAL: Fine. I'll allow it for now, but one step, ONE STEP out of line and you walk the plank. Understood?

RISKY: Crystal.

SCORPGAL: Good. Now, in order to start our search, we're going to need a map to the Forbidden Isles. The captain has one of her own, but there weren't any spares for me to grab.

RISKY: Hmmm...there should be one in the Sequin Land Public Library. The issue is getting in without them trying to arrest me on sight...

HARPY: I can blow it up for you!

RISKY: NO.

HARPY: ...the captain would've let me blow it up...

SCORPGAL: However you get it, just make sure you that map back to us. We can't go anywhere without it.

~~~~

[Several items traded and retrieved later...]

[RISKY is walking along the dock of Scuttle Town when there's a sudden rumble]

???: WAIT A MINUTE!

RISKY: What the-!? Who just said that?

[Immediately after she asks that question, a boat with the figurehead of a screaming skull pulls up alongside RISKY, and steering the ship is CAPTAIN SHANTAE]

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: How did you manage to get that map before me!?

RISKY: CAPTAIN SHANTAE!?

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Yes, me, and normally I'd LOVE to engage you in banter and wind you up, little miss firecracker, but I am REALLY not in the mood right now.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Seriously, why do you have that!? I was JUST about to try and steal it from the Sequin Land Public Library, and there's no way you could've heard about that beforehand!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Look, whatever reason you have that map, I need it more, and for once, I'm NOT trying to trick you. So tell me what you need it for and I'll handle it myself!

RISKY: ...Funny you should mention that, actually, because to my understanding, there's a few objections to that.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: What do you-?

CHIMERA PIRATES: CAPTAIN!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: ...Don't tell me...!

[CAPTAIN SHANTAE turns around, and the camera shifts so that the CHIMERA PIRATES can fit into the frame as they run over]

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: CANNONBALL?

HARPY: Oh captain, my captain!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: BILGE?

WETMAN: That's my name, don't wear it out.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: SCURVY!?

SCORPGAL: ...

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: What are you DOING here!? I told you, the Chimera Pirates are-

[CANNONBALL, as the HARPY has now been properly identified, throws herself at CAPTAIN SHANTAE's feet and throws her wings around her ankles]

CANNONBALL: CAPTAIN, DON'T LEAVE MEEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-E!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: ...um.

[CAPTAIN SHANTAE awkwardly pats CANNONBALL on the head as RISKY looks to BILGE and SCURVY with a raised eyebrow]

RISKY: Well, I suppose it's nice to have a name for you sea dogs.

BILGE: Oh yeah, we never introduced ourselves, did we? Heh, our mistake.

BILGE: Say, did you name us in your head or something? And, related, were those names cool?

RISKY: I called you Goons 1 through 3.

BILGE: ...fair enough.

CANNONBALL: -AND I KNOW THE PIRATE MASTER IS BIG AND SCARY BUT I CAN BLOW UP HIS FACE SO PLEASE LET US BACK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT YOU-OU-OU!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: ...You know, I know you all adore me as your wonderful captain, but somehow I didn't expect that to translate into being clingy.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: So, ignoring that for now...SCURVY. You figured it out, then?

SCURVY: Yes, captain. If I may ask a question of my own, why do YOU need a map to the Forbidden Isles when you already have one?

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: I-Well...!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: ...it got torn up by a CACKLEBAT before I could stop it. The PIRATE MASTER may be tar-dipped scum who deserves to ROT where he belongs, but he's smart tar-dipped scum, I'll give him that.

SCURVY: Mhm. And THAT, right there, is why disbanding us was an absolutely boneheaded move, you sea-legged, seaweed-addled MORON!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: HEY, that is no way to speak to your-!

SCURVY: You disbanded the Chimera Pirates, so technically, you're not my captain.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: -GRRK!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: I...owe you all an apology, don't I?

SCURVY: More than that. Captain, I don't care WHAT you think, this isn't something you can do alone. You ARE taking us with you...and that includes RISKY.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: RISKY!?

RISKY: Yes, me.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Oh, PLEASE. Do you honestly expect me to believe that miss goody two-shoes over here would ever willingly work together with me on anything?

RISKY: Well, believe me, I'm not HAPPY about it, but considering the alternative is letting the Pirate Master run roughshod over Sequin Land, I can put my grudges aside for this.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Really? You sure about-?

SCURVY: CAPTAIN. Don't you start. She won't leave well enough alone, you and I both know that by know. If we don't help her, she'll go off on her own...

SCURVY: And personally, I'd prefer having the half-wit up close so she doesn't run over our plans with the grace of a steamroller.

RISKY: And personally, I'D prefer being able to watch you all up close, because even if you ARE fighting the Pirate Master, I still suspect you're going to try something.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: ...yeesh, you're not giving me an inch, are you?

SCURVY: With all due respect, captain, which is NONE at the moment, we're not budging on this.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Fine, fine...I can admit when I was wrong! I'll accept my defeat with grace and dignity.

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Ahem...

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: It looks like the CHIMERA PIRATES are back in business!

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: Now with a half-genie shaped parrot.

RISKY: PARROT!?

CAPTAIN SHANTAE: It's either that or swabbing the deck as a cabin girl. Which would you prefer, firecracker?

RISKY: ...I am already regretting this...

[nevermore-grimes]

Hi bestie! I think you've mentioned using Notion to document your paracosm and I was wondering you went about it?? like your organization n stuff. Sometimes I think about using Notion for smaller paracosms or AU stuff but I never really know how to like. format it or organize it lol

Bestie? Did you just call me bestie? (Love ya, bestie! Aaaaaah!) 🥺💕

And then you follow that up with asking me about my paracosm dashboard? Can I kiss you (/p)???

I would be more than honored to give you a lil tour~

Here she is in all her glory! ...Well, the homepage, at least.

I can't take allllll the credit since I've started this by using someone else's template (I forgot who it was and I couldn't find them again, I'm sorryyy!), but I've added a lot of my own stuff since then.

Anyways, it mainly revolves around The Ember Blade Chronicles, since that's my main paracosm, but I don't feel like it wouldn't be that hard to rework it for someone who has more than one paracosm.

On the homepage, I just have some links, my Spotify Playlists (which I've managed to link to my para profiles and my AUs), and my organizational sidebar (Yayyy!).

I won't go crazy with explanations and bore you to death, so here's a quick explanation of each part:

Para Gallery - A gallery of my paras' profiles

World Elements & Explanations - Here's where I explain concepts exclusive to my paracosm (Macbeth, Nevermore's bloodlust, etc.)

Snippets - Where I write out scenes from my paracosm

Story Events - My paracosm's timeline

Paracosm-Related AUs - A list of my paracosm's AUs

Party Talk & Incorrect Quotes - Random silly quotes from my paracosm

Trashed Concepts - Things that used to be part of my paracosm, but I took them out

The Ember Blade Archives - Where I'm transcribing my paracosm notebooks

I honestly wanna rework my Snippets and Story Events sections, but, yeah! I don't know how helpful this actually is, so if you need me to explain anything better, I'll try! Or I can even drop the template (but I think I want the chance to rework some of my sections first-).

So, I hope this helped somewhat!