#me? talking abt my entire year undercut? it's more likely than u think

[artnerd1123]

it’s about that time again, ain’t it? 

i started seeing these pop up on my dash, so i figured i’d do another one for this year. lots of fun stuff happenin, eh? i definitely had fun playing with lighting X3 also, may had wayyy too many good ones to pick from. might wanna go check out my art blog, if ur curious abt what that month looked like lskdfjsl this year was super super good for my art!!! im v v happy to see how far i’ve come ;w;

gonna stick some end-of-year rambling undercut, bc i wanna talk n don’t wanna clog up dashes. hope y’all have a happy new year! im so proud of y’all for sticking it through!!!

so... i’m not gonna lie, this year has been a ride. there’s been really high highs, and crushingly low lows. my mental health was on the fritz pretty much the entire year. a lot’s happened. and i’ve definitely seen plenty of growth. 

my year at a glance was full of activity. I went into my last semester of high school, which was both stressful (see: ap exams, college setup, and my own mental health/personal issues) and a load of fun (see: senior prom, choir events, and having a blast with my friends). in the summer, i started my first job at an amusement park. it was going well, and even though the end of the year was crazy, i was feeling good. and then i ended up losing someone close to me while i was on a vacation. while the scenery was beautiful, my mental state was... not so great. and it continued to rock and roll like waves on the ocean in the months following. grief isn’t easy to handle. but i was trying. though it was physically painful some days, college was right around the corner. gotta keep your head in the game. even if your head is also full of horrible depression and anxiety. fun stuff, ammirite?  speaking of college, i started and finished my first semester! it was a whirlwind of getting used to college life, figuring out how campus worked, and settling in. classes got me to focus on other things, and building in a routine kept me from slipping too far on my bad days. i also made some new friends. and even found someone who’s more than a friend. i’m eternally grateful for her and all that we’ve been through. even if it hasn’t been super super long, in the grand scheme of things. taking the bad times at college into account, it’s still been absolutely wonderful.  and winter break? eh. it’s been super super chill. i’ve done nothing for like, 2 weeks, and it’s been absolutely wonderful. 

all this aside... college gave me a ton of time to reflect and work on myself. it might’ve only been 3-4 months of time, but it was vital. i grew a lot. learned about myself. figured out that sometimes, people do things you’re not gonna understand. and that’s okay. you just gotta focus on yourself, what you can do, and how you can grow. you gotta figure out how to become a better person with what life gives you. be gentle. be kind. and don’t get bitter at everything. just cultivate what makes you happy. try and trust the ones you hold dear. most importantly, reach out when you need help. please. it does so much more than you think. 

just... take a breath, guys. you’re gonna be ok. you just gotta be present as much as you can, so you don’t miss the nice things that are coming. 

gotta say, 2019... there are parts of you i’m really gonna miss. and there are parts of you that i’m glad are buried in the past. but all in all? i’m glad to have made it through. 

i’m gonna try and make the next year a good one 🖤

[mestos]

BnS act 9 was perhaps the worst thing ncsoft did to jyansei/cricket and OOF im still feeling it. as if cricket hasn’t cried enough in the whole story (when master hong dies, when hajoon dies, when they see master hong in a flashback, when the old pupils bid them farewell, when ayona dies) this was too much oh my god!!! this was sthe worst

spoiler ramble undercut

alright ill try talk abt the act in chronological order so starting off, 1) why chundoon’s voice so deep lmao. in kr it was such a soft boy’s voice then in NA its like hansen from fgo where they gave him a 40 year old chainsmoker’s voice SLKGJSDKGH 

the other thing i liked tho from the start is the whole premonition thing where it ends with cricket’s death

me, internally: why is it ALWAYS zaiwei

but anyway i loved how this led up to going into the backstreets of the hao bazaar and beating up some punks, leading up to this golden exchange with yunma fei. i laughed SO HARD

empress: you were illegally street fighting in hao bazaar? cricket: (sweats) .....sorry empress: that’s cool i did too at one point

YUNMA FEI IS HONESTLY SO COOL. best empress (sorry ms cyg) 

anyway the whole exchange with yunma fei was pretty nice, because she lets you read a letter. cricket’s hesitation was so cute! i can imagine them being rlly flustered, and yunma fei just shaking their head like “dude you saved the continent like twice? why wouldn’t you have authority” sgksjdgh

so the letter is basically dowager tayhu (her name was ak in kr? idk) passively aggressively asking for HM Hero to show up and yunma fei and cricket both almost agree to decline the invitation...till nuya shows up with news about ryu. then cricket does a complete 180 and is like “sorry. i have to go” which is kinda....omg....i get that u love your kids but its due to these impulsive decisions that lead to disaster!!! its why your efforts are erased in the end!! just decide to decline for once sweetie!!

even yunma fei tries her best to convince you, but you and her both know that there’s no stopping you once you made your mind to go somewhere. but yunma fei’s concern was nice enough, i love the friendship and bond you share with her-- she cares about you a lot, and so do you. other than the fact she is an empress, cricket is gentle with her too

anyway so you go to dasari palace, after a bit of a scuffle with an old captain who worked in the stratus empire, which led to a very pretty map as i posted briefly before. when u arrive at the banquet...everything is super suspicious lmao!! even from just stepping in you can feel that this was so set up to go against you. bns story rule of thumb: someone invites you to someplace, they’ll be after ur life. 

one thing tho is i love how cricket is so caring of their students,, when jinsoyun was feeling sick, they offered to be by her side the entire time and hold her hand..but of course, soyun can’t take the room and runs off. cricket chases after her but is stopped by the guards, and i find their frustration rlly cute sdjkgh

then you meet the dowager and ryu! ryu, no memories ryu. who wasn’t hanging with ken after all LMFAO anyway he asks to spar with you and cricket is forced to act like this is the first time theyve met and u can feel the pain in their responses

so sparring with ryu was easy enough. afterwards general hondu wrecks the party, then cricket decides to go rest. but of course, not before seeing their lovely darling daughter soyun! they decide to check up on them and their concern for their wellbeing was sweet (a lot more doting in kr but i digress lmao) 

afterwards, in typical blade and soul fashion, the minute u go into your resting room shit hits the fan and assassins, stratus soldiers, fiends all go after you and your pupils. after a frustrating (i’m a flame gunslinger! i don’t have any mobbing skills for crying outloud!) escort mission you meet choi jina, who i BARELY remembered but you meet her briefly at the start of act 2 and she helps you with the wraithbloom mess

she’s also pretty much jung hado genderbent but we won’t talk about that

with the help of choi jina cricket and fam go into a hidden chamber...a place they’ll be in for a while give or take LMAO. after some discussion, cricket decides “my amnesiac kid can’t be left in this shithole so i have to go back to him” (although in kr, cricket refuses but is eventually persuaded by bunyang) and choi jina and cricket go through....a fucking stealth mission, because after the murder of the minister (which was NOT cricket’s fault--they were just doing their job of eliminating demons) they become a wanted man! 

now, it wouldn’t be so bad if i had a functional laptop but i don’t so, that shit took me an entire hour and a half. i gave up at some point and just walked on the ground rather than roof to roof, because that is the WORST stealth mission in the entire game!! why!!! holy crap!!! i could rant over and over about the stealth mission but ill save that for twitter...

anyway after stealth mission, you knock out ryu, choi jina carries him, and back in the hidden chamber you go. ryu suddenly ~remembers~ all the fun times and tells you dowager tahyu’s planning a war! cricket, not finding it suspicious at all that ‘suddenly son remembers me? wow!’ is like ‘ok ok my boy, take me away, i gotta warn, yunma fei’ then they act like prisoner and shit and it was hilarious with lyn walking sprite cause you can’t walk in front of him HGJKG

ryu catches a spy - one of yunma fei’s - and after cricket writes their letter, they give it to senha and go. then there’s another escort mission! when you’re back with the fam, its a team effort to go to the great dragon pulse. and hell, i wouldve just made ryu do all the fighting cause my computer really hated that whole mission and i barely got through HA

anyway, shortly before the escort mission, bunyang and cricket have a small argument--bunyang is always so worried about their master, and cricket can’t do anything about it; it’s their job to do all these things, they can’t refuse because of the bigger picture. cricket promises to come back safely and they can be a family again, and in general the whole argument is really heartbreaking because HA. guess what happens after the escort mission

before i get to that, yunma fei actually arrives - alone, so no jung hado with her - shortly before shit hits the fan. she plops through the dragon pulse and it leads to some horrifying revelations. she said that cricket’s letter told her to come alone because they are sick and need help, and cricket says they never asked for that? and then its a mess because now yunma fei, talus empress, is alone and it’s all in the dowager’s plan. 

quickly running back to their students with the empress... but they were too late.

ryu betrayed them. and bunyang...

pays the price.

as if to make matters worse, cricket really was ill, they had been poisoned shortly before and 

collapses. 

they wake up in prison - goddamn! this is the third time i’ve woken up in jail! as if im not constantly falsely accused of crimes already! and witness an empress-to-empress showdown. yunma fei is really best empress. she sassed dowager tayhu hard LMAO

choi jina arrives and lets you and yunma fei out but cricket’s mind is in shambles because holy fuck!!!! my son just died!!! and unfortunately they cant find the time to mourn because 1) they’re in jail and they are breaking out like fugitives. the next segment is cricket and co. break outta jail to find the rest of their kids. 

when cricket does find them its so OUCH because their kids are obviously traumatized - especially bunah!!!!!!!! the flesh and blood sister of bunyang who just fucking DIED and really ... it was just too much,

yunma fei tries her best consoling you but obviously cricket can’t think properly. but they don’t have time to be crying, because there’s too much on the line, so they swallow their feelings and keep moving. 

i’ll continue on a second post...

[gardenbiriety]

i got tagged in this...... ages ago..... and now that it’s like 2 weeks until my folio is due and i’m not even a third of the way thru my product (and abt 1/10 of the actual folio work - we have had the entire year to do it) i thought it would be a dank time to do it!!!!! whoo!!!!! 

THE LAST:  1. drink: a milo!!!!! a hot one bc i love that shit 2. phone call: a camping place to book in for after exams :))))) 3. text message: oh okay thank you!!! (like 50% of my texts are some variation of this lol) 4. song you listened to: shout out to my ex - little mix (rn) 5. time you cried: a while ago? like within a month but over a fortnight ago? 6. dated someone twice: never dated anyone lol 7. kissed someone and regretted it: ^^ 8. been cheated on: ^^ 9. lost someone special: when i was little??? 10. been depressed: yeah the boiiiiizzzzz 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: tbh my only crowning achievement is have a 2 standard drink limit and not having thrown up 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. orange, green, pastel purple 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:  15. made new friends: yeah m8 16. fallen out of love: idk u tell me pal  17. laughed until you cried: lots  18. found out someone was talking about you: yeS for like the first time ever (that i know of, people probs have before but this is the first time i found out lmao!!! i nut over drama tbh) 19. met someone who changed you: yuh 20. found out who your friends are: yuH 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: *dabs* i’m a legal adult and have only ever kissed relatives lol

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: pre much all  23. do you have any pets: one doggo jensen and one actually feral cat son bellamy 24. do you want to change your name: i fuCKING DID FUCK YEH M8 25. what did you do for your last birthday: got drunk outside with my friends and then got drunk outside with one friend and wanted to cry bc my family used one name in the happy bday song and all my friends used the other lol i want death  26. what time did you wake up: 6.30am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep?  28. name something you can’t wait for: b.a.p to come back to aus 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago when i made her tea 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: to either nto have anxiety or for my parents to accept my gay trans ass lol  31. what are you listening to right now:little mix!!! glory days album idk which song  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: regrettably  33. something that is getting on your nerves: when ppl leave the fucking milk out and i get home from school and make a really fucking good milo (with a good milk / milo ratio) (and it’s the right temp if it’s hot) and then the milk is :)) fucking :))) off  34. most visited website: this fucking hellsite 35. mole/s:i don’t think i have any??? 36. mark/s: some scars on my knees, acne? 37. childhood dream: to be a scientist or a singer or in roller derby  38. hair colour: blonde but my brown roots are pre long now? 39. long or short hair: just touched my shoulder + undercut to like just above y ears  40. do you have a crush on someone: idk i have many feelings but idk what they mean lol  41. what do you like about yourself: nothing / jk i have really steady hands  42. piercings: first and seconds on my ears 43. blood type: b pos !!!!! i got a lil thing after i donated blood it was so cool!!!  44. nickname: 'dickhead’ nah jk i don’t really???  45. relationship status: single and ready for death   46. zodiac: taurus/sag/pisces 47. pronouns: they/them or none pls  48. favourite tv show: law and order svu? idk nonE WAIT AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER YES THANK  49. tattoos:none yet :(((( 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: i was born? other than that nuh uh 52. piercing: already? said? 53. sport: used to play netball, i also love roller skating so much btu idk if that counts 55. vacation: a lot to qld and yass (nsw) - once i went to america  56. pair of trainers: ??? i own a pair of blue sketchers????

MORE GENERAL: 57. eating: nothing 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: go to bed 61. waiting for: school to be fucking over 62. want: money to cover my punk ass until work starts again 63. get married: no  64. career: ??? be gay professionally 65. hugs or kisses: huGS 66. lips or eyes: lips?? 67. shorter or taller: oml wait these are meant for ppl u like lol uhm??? idc 68. older or younger: as long as it’s not a huge gap then i guess?  70. nice arms or nice stomach: just nice 71. sensitive or loud: idk whatever tbh 72. hook up or relationship: i’m too awks and ugly for hookups so 73. troublemaker or hesitant: idK 

HAVE YOU EVER:  74. kissed a stranger: noooooooooo 75. drank hard liquor: not by itself  76. lost glasses/contact lenses: dont’ have 77. turned someone down: ? maybe? 78. sex on the first date: nooo 79. broken someone’s heart: probably not  80. had your heart broken: dont thinks o 81. been arrested: nah m8 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: idk 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:  84. yourself: not really  85. miracles: not.... really...... what’ll happen will happen? 86. love at first sight: no but u can like them lots? 87. santa claus: ofc - i know how it feels to have ppl doubt ur existence to do the same thing would juSt be ruDe /s  88. kiss on the first date:w/ consent sure i mean i probs wouldnt but i’ve also never been on a date? 89. angels: sorry did u mean bang yongguk?

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: pheeb and jay!!! 91. eye colour: blue w yellow in the meddlie 92. favourite movie: ROAD TO EL DORADO 

lmao i guess i gotta tag now - @kookieman, @hyuneytea @dleighf have fun thanks for reading even one line of this