#mean im a good artist or that im even creative -_-

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[rapidhighway]

ngl pep talks from family about how youre good enough for your school are kind of shitty when youve got arguments and all they can say is noooo youre wrongg

[be-good-to-bugs]

i want 2 go back 2 makin music

[pearlsinmyhair]

˖⋆˚₊⊹ his muse

hobie brown x fem!reader

this has been in my drafts for. forever. like it was summer when i wrote it on a whim. this initially started as a request for hobie with a reader that came from wealth. the vivienne westwood imagery picked up from there, and i just kinda had fun with it. and now im posting it- huzzah!

warnings: smoking (cigarettes). mentions of drinking. slight nsfw at the very end. meet-cute that leads to smut. hobie being a flirt. fem!reader.

hobie is in the midst of a creative rut that he can’t get out of, no matter how much he tries to. that is, until some inspiration walks through the door.

hobie was in a musical rut.

which never happened to him. never. if he needed a subject for a song, all he had to do was look outside for five minutes or watching the news for even less to have a subject.

that was the wonderful thing about hating the establishment: infinite cruelty, infinite song ideas.

but here he was, staring down at his guitar and picking at strings aimlessly. nothing came to him, no note or melody stuck out to him as song worthy.

he was sitting on the worn couch in his band’s makeshift studio, crosslegged and hunched over his guitar like a madman.

a soft knock came from the doorway, and he looked up to find one of his band mates hitting their knuckles against the doorway.

“you need to get out, man. you’re cooped up.” he said, stepping into the room to stand over hobie like a mother hen. “some fresh air will do you good.”

hobie scoffed, never one to take orders from anyone. but then he exhaled and leaned back, looking up at his friend with an exasperated expression.

“and where exactly do you intend for us to go?” he asked lowly, grumbling.

that’s exactly how he ended up here, in a music club full of bodies he didn’t want to touch and liquor he didn’t want to drink.

it wasn’t a traditional club scene by any means. It was a bit more artistic, leaning away from rave-style places that he’d gone to before. but it still wasn’t his preferred place.

he nursed a shirley temple, which his friend had shoved into his hand unceremoniously before disappearing into the crowd. hobie had decided that he would be the designated driver, and he understood that his band mates were going to take full advantage of that fact.

when they entered the place, his drummer had leaned over.

“maybe you’ll find a muse, hobes. i’m sure there’s plenty of pretty things in this place to give you ideas.” the boy wiggled his brows, and hobie promptly shoved him away with a chuckle.

now, he leaned against a counter and wondered what the hell he was doing. this wasn’t air. this was just distracting noise.

and said noise was becoming a little too much for his senses.

he made eye contact with one of his more sober mates, gesturing that he was going to go somewhere private. he sent a text to their group chat as well saying the same thing.

not a role model

-> heading to the back, text or call if you need me

little drummer boy

-> you’re no fun, man.

not a role model

-> 🖕🏿

he moved down a hallway, the sound of bass and electronic beats fading into a pleasant jazz sound that made its way through the speakers overhead.

the space behind the actual club was a kind of lounge, filled with warm ambiance and vinyl records and leather arm chairs. when his friends brought him here, he always inevitably retreated to this quieter space.

it was ironic really. the punk unable to handle crowds and noise. but this was a much different setting from his own shows, so he cut himself some slack.

he sunk into one of the armchairs in a side room, his head lolling back to look up at the ceiling. his head slightly throbbed, and he began to regret not drinking water.

he reached in his pocket to pull out a cigarette box.

he wasn’t a casual smoker, not by a long shot. it just helped to have something to drag on sometimes, something to burn his throat while he was thinking.

right as he put the cig to his lips, the door banged open and slammed shut once more, the lock sliding home.

his spider-senses told him to prepare, but when he looked up they stopped buzzing.

because a girl leaned against the wall across from him, her chest heaving and her eyes wide.

she looked afraid, scared. the way her fingers trembled alerted him to the sheer amount of adrenaline running through her veins currently.

and she hadn’t even noticed him yet. he took a moment to glance over her.

she wore a pretty little lace dress, black and short, with straps that barely cling to her shoulders. his eyes drifted down her bare legs to the black platform gogo boots on her feet, and he was impressed with the height she was balancing on. he knew from experience that those shits weren’t easy to master.

he had been a model once, and he knew enough to see that the girls clothes were expensive. like, wearing his rent expensive.

she took an anxious step, only to wobble like a baby deer, legs too long to stand properly.

maybe not so stable after all.

when she still didn’t notice him (too busy listening to the door), he opened his mouth to make himself known.

“runnin’ from something, little fawn?”

her eyes snapped to him, and she jumped slightly when she realized that someone else was in the room with her. her wide doe eyes did nothing to help disapprove the nickname. she opened and closed her mouth to speak, struggling to get the words out.

“i’m not running.”

he chuckled.

“no? do ya’ slam and lock doors at clubs often then?”

she scoffed at him, rolling her eyes. she took a step away from the door, though he could tell she was keeping track of any noise.

“i’m just…catching my breath.” she said, pulling at the necklace around her throat.

hobie’s eyes drifted down to it, surprised to find a string of pearls with an all too familiar saturn pendent.

his curiosity got the best of him. “real or fake?”

her eyes darted up to meet his, and she looked away in embarrassment as she said “real.”

he let out an impressed whistle. “that’s why you’re running.” he mumbled as the pieces clicked together.

she gave him an incredulous look, eyebrows furrowing in a way that he found adorable.

“my guess” he said as he stood from the chair, taking a step towards the girl. “is that you definitely aren’t supposed to be here. rich girl, pretty dress, innocent look. this place is practically forbidden for your like.”

her gaze hardened into a glare. “and what exactly is my like, hobie brown?”

he smirked. “you know my name.”

a statement. she deflated slightly.

“i’ve been to your shows.” she said, voice lowering. it was just enough to make him realize how close they were. he registered her body language quickly, noting how she didn’t shy away. so he didn’t either.

“interestin’, doll. does your daddy know?”

“don’t condescend me.”

he took a step back then, raising his hand in an ‘i come in peace’ gesture. “easy there. just askin.”

he went to grab a lighter to light his cigarette, reaching down into his jackets pocket. when he found nothing, he groaned softly.

a click made him look up, only to be met with the girl holding up a lighter of her own. he leaned forward to light his cigarette, and she held his gaze as the sizzling sound breiflu filled their silence.

“as you can see” she said softly. “i am not quite ‘my like’.”

he let out a puff of smoke, making sure to turn his head so that it didn’t flow into her pretty face. she coughed anyway.

he chucked. “what you doin’ with a light if you don’t smoke?”

she flipped the lighter in her hand, and it took a moment to notice that it was one of the silver heart ones that were popular.

“you like vivienne, huh?” he said, looking down at her with half lidded eyes as he took another drag.

“what can i say, i have a thing for punks.” she replied, looking up at him through her lashes.

oh, he was going to eat her.

“s’that so?” he asked, wanting to drag whatever admission she was holding in. he leaned close over her, and she stretched her neck to look right up at him. this close, he could smell whatever shampoo she used.

she was off limits. but he never really abided by rules, did he?

“what’re you runnin’ from, doll?” he asked, tapping his cigarette out as he waited for an answer.

“my father sent a body guard out to find me. i snuck out, and the man’s in the club right now.” she said, watching the way his lips curled around the cigarette.

the air kicked on, and the girl below him shivered. he shrugged off his jacket with a sigh, pulling it around her. she accepted it gratefully, practically nuzzling up against the collar.

fuck, he was a goner.

“better get you out of here, then.” he said, using the edges of his jacket to tug her closer. she smirked, allowing him to pull her against his body. “that would be great.”

he leaned down as he texted the chat, brushing his lips against the top of her ear as he typed.

not a role model

-> hey, i got someone i need to take home. anyone sober?

little drummer boy

-> the fuck are you on about, why would anyone be sober.

fresh meat

-> i am, go enjoy yourself hobes.

thank god for tyler, he thought as he pulled back the collar of his jacket to press his mouth to the girls jaw.

as she snuck him into her room later, the lyrics of a song began to write themselves in his head.

and as he thrust into her, her hands fumbling against her silk sheets and her moans in his ear, he realized that he had found his muse after all.

hobie’s masterlist

[bear-remn]

Girl, I’m addicted to your blog! It’s so creative and captivating; I can feel the vibrant energy between the characters. It’s truly rewarding to have so many brilliant artists in the fandom <3

I can’t wait to see a headcanon about Subaru; I think I’m going to die when that moment arrives.

(I'm sorry for any inconsistencies; my english isn't the best yet, and I sometimes need help :T)

— subaru headcanons!

omg ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ ty so much for your kind words! i felt appreciated reading it so thanks for making my day! youre such a sweetheart, ty again for support my blog and my art (๑´>᎑<)~*

here i bring subaru, and it was a little more difficult than with the rest of the sakamakis, maybe bc i dont get most of subarus actions, i think he is the one with more inconcistencias in his development so i hope i dont dissapoint with it, he is so difficult but so easy at the same time im going crazy.

tw: this post contains nsfw (+18)!!! if you dont like that content dont read it!

i spent so much time drawing this and it was so worth it, and i really was a little off with drawing him angry or neutral so i draw him with two cute little smiles, i also hated his hair during sketching this, fk desing, but i love it so much ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

his looks and selfcare

i think subaru is very handsome, like his brothers, but he dont know it, he dont realize how good looking he is. i can imagine subaru being constantly approached by his classmates, both woman and men, but since he ghe way he is, his appearance got overpowered by his personality.

i also think, maybe a little too out of the clue but, i think subaru face most of the time is like a little angry, without realizing it, his eyebrows furrow giving an angry image, even if he is not, it is like his face of rest. angry rest face.

i think subaru is very similar to his mother, but with the structure of his father, i imagine subaru with slanted eyes, a straight nose, and his strong jaw makes his face come together so well. i like to think subaru has a gentle gaze, not a killer one like ayato, maybe bc he is constantly on his past and feels pity for another living being, something in between.

i think subaru has one of the most hipnotizing eyes, not like his brothers tho. i like to think he is has more the kind of eyes shu has, like a deep color and with a fixed expression. i like to think they, shu and subaru, are very alike even if they have different mothers.

i belive subaru is the kind of man that don't sweat much, even so, i do think subaru likes to shower often, i think he is more into long hot boiling baths, and if he is more stress than normal, he totally is gonna ask for ayatos bath bombs or so, dont like candles tho. and i also think sometimes he fell asleep during some baths.

i think subaru might like sweet scents even if he deny it, he loves sweet smells. maybe a good vanilla or a coconut one, but i do see him liking sweet fruits, such as strawberries, peaches, and apples. specially peaches. he likes it on his shampoo, his conditiones, his bar soap and even the liquid soap for hands. but not on perfume.

i think subaru likes more mint, lemon or so when it comes to perfume.

oh, i think subaru also has more of straight hair than curly hair, you know when a part of your is more curly or has more volume than another part? thats subarus hair for sure, so he tends to make it even by brushing it.

i think subaru's body is... very very... like... hot you know? like he is tall and more thick than his brothers, with a wide back and shoulders. i also love imagine subaru with big arms and his forearms?? his hands?? just thick. very strong and definetly has veins in his arms without making an effort. and as shu, he also as a thick waist and a very strong and gooooood looking v line. and also has a happy trail. i mean. do you imagine him shaving often? his beautiful silver hair? no, he doesnt shave too much.

i think subaru, as rare as it might sound, gets hair on his chest, that hair he shaves it, but the hair of the rest of his body not too much, and its not visible either. like, white hair on his pale skin? not on easy sight.

oh, and he also has thick fingers and his nails are pretty avegare, but for some reason the nail of his pinky grows faster than the others, so he thens to bite that one.

and about his style, i do belive subaru only likes basics and neutrals clothes, but don't like to feel things around his neck, it get on his nerves, dont like oversize clothes either.

and to finish, subaru is like his two olders brothers and can't grow a hole beard, subaru shaves it right away when he sees a little bit of hair, makes him feel old too.

random stuff

to start off with this man. i have some thought on his behavior. like have you guys seen how jelaous he is? he is maybe the most childish one out the sakamakis when it comes to jealousy. and thats canon for me.

but i do see him being very passive aggressive with the people he enjoys to hang out, like if you are with him and you ask him for a pencil, he will just say no and then pass it to you. and with a dead ass angry face. no reason for it. or if you ask him a favor he will say "fuck off" and then do it.

i hate the fact of subaru not having not one single fucking hobby, wtf?? i dont belive it. i do think he might have tried stuff and just dont get too into it. but not every hobby, like maybe reading existencial poetry or even drawing or painting, i do see him as a artist kind of guy lol. i imagine subaru in his teen years, some time has passed since his mother died, and he always tries to paint in oil white roses, just to keep her mother in his mind but he hates it so much he destroys every stencil he makes.

i also think he might have tried to draw animals in the woods close to the manor but the animals moved so much he got frustrated and never tried again.

and maybe, a little sad, but he hates to cry, so he just let his tears fall from his eyes and bites on his lips to not make a sound, he will hate his brotheres to see him cry.

i think, subaru used to bite his nails, thinking and trying to understand his mother but at his age it was so confusing for him. and the hate just for seeing his father will make him bites on his fingers as well. he was very anxious in his childhood and no one, even when he tried to get close to the triples bc he wanted to play with them, he was left apart, so he never felt a part of anything, but i do belive subaru still want to be a real brother even if he dont know how to.

i think, even if subaru says otherwise, subaru likes spicy food, like hot flaming food, likes how it feels in his troat.

i also think he is more into weight lifting, thats why his body is more thick than his brothers that does another kind of excersize.

and as ayato, always feels anxious when is close to something religios, just feels weird and ridiculous for him. church's specially.

and i like to think, i know he will do it, when subaru can't sleep he taps the wood of his coffin whith his fingers on the beat on songs, like really soft and just for him to hear. eventually his fingers will stop bc he fall asleep.

or if he is bored he definetly play with his knife, like when the moonlight is bright on his window room. subaru will take his knife out and reflect the light on the silver, playing a little with it. sometimes he does this with his brothers when they are in the garden just minding their bussiness, making the little light come into their eyes and then hiding behind the curtains in his room. can't laugh, either way his brothers will know he was the one messing with them.

nsfw

ok, so.... his dick....

i belive, on my knees, that he always have the same size, like, you know meat team? yea... that. i see him as a good 18 cm, its thick and heavy, his balls too, the man is just a little too big for his own good. also has two prominent veins coming from his crocht to the tip, wich is a pretty soft salmon color. he keeps some hair but not too long, just enough to have a slight happy trail of his silver hair.

i think subaru is definetly a dominant, but not a harsh one, something like a service dom, he don't mind if you are on top or start things, but do likes to have most control of situations. but he don't seek a too submissive partner either, he wants you to desire it as much as he does. bc he does.

i think subaru is not good at flirting so much... i mean, i have to say it, subaru is rather shy when it comes to romance, basically bc he thinks he does'nt deserve any kind of love or affection, so yea, kinda difficult. so i think his way to show you he cares for you or is interested in you is quality time, like, i imagine subaru hanging out with you and just listening to whatever you're saying, and talking for him really makes him more interested for you, he is not the kind of guy that will see first your looks, it has not a single one bit of appeal for your body at first. and definetly he will not make the firts move, and im not talking about kissing, i am talking about fucking holding hands. yes.

and when he is feeling more confortable with you, subaru will start to checking you out, like watching your legs when you cross them, even if you have pants, the man is intriged. or if you have your hair up he cannot take his eyes off your neck, he really craves your physical touch. and if you catch him looking at you he will simply mess with you "what? im not watching you, just a fly pass by" yea he's that.

in other ocasions if he smells a change of scent due your perfume, he will get close to you but not enought to touch your skin "peaches? uh... not bad i suppose" but the man is obsessed.

and when the times come, when you kiss him subaru is a little taken aback but will hold you close and look into your eyes "are you sure? if you get involved with me, you will never go back to your old life, think wise or else you'll end up like me" but ofc, you choose him.

since that moment, he will bite you more often, but more gentle and hold you more close to his body, i imagine him biting your neck and drinking a little of you blood to then lick the wounds and kiss them so they can heal better, his kisses go up until his lips reach yours.

oh and his kisses? omg.

but before talking of subaru kisses, i have to say this.

i think subaru is very... like, into physical touch but in a more intimate way of, like very sutile and mature. idk but. i imagine subaru hanging out with you, maybe watching a movie and if the pose while sitting fit. subaru will have one of his hands caressing you back under your shirt. like not sexually intended, just likes to feel your skin every chance he gets. and don't put his nails againts your back bc he know you may get ghostbumps. he definetly is more of a back guy than a boob or ass man.

and if the moment pops out, and you're sitting in subaru's lap, he will touch your belly gently while resting his head on your shoulder. he loves that kind of contact with you, it means a lot to him.

and if youre using a loose shirt he have more freedom to touch as he wish, and... im losing it.

subaru in some moment will get heated by your body, since vampires can't produce body heat like humans, and will mess with you for that, but in a different way you may think "lean more againts me... your back is more hot when you're on my lap huh... don't you dare to get up" his lips are in your nape, gently kissing it while touching your belly. and if youre moving too much on top of him he might get a little bit worked up. so he will take you by your jaw and make you face him for a wet kiss.

he is'nt much of words in those moments, for him, your eyes say everything he needs to know. so... his kisses.

little detail about subaru, i dont think he will do anything with someone he is'nt truly interested, i mean, really into you, so he is'nt dry or something like that, he is very much passionate about everything he does to you and with you.

so now, his kisses, finally.

subaru likes soft and tender smooches, i see him always trying to kiss you or give you a little peck, ofc when you two are alone, dont like to make things in front of people. don't put on a show. so when the kiss gets hotter, subaru will gently bite on your lip and explore with his tongue your mouth, slowly and with no rush. feeling how hot your tongue is really makes him moan a little into your mouth, can't control his hands when your body is so hot compared to his. loves it.

so, back to the lap situation. subaru will go straight into a wet kiss, sucking on your tongue and pressiong his croch into your ass while squeezing your thigh. his breath in your lips as you hold on his strong arms, feeling how he control himself. subaru will bite your little tongue on his mouth as his hands go to hold gently your tits "ya want it? wanna go to bed or..?" and yes... he tries to be as gentle with you as he can.

i think subaru likes to carry you to bed or his coffin, likes to get your scent into it so he can sleep better later, but can't deny the bed is more confortable.

but sometimes, when the situation is more desesperate, like after a walk or a public event, he will pin you down on the floor and start kissing and biting your neck and chest "you wanted this huh? dont act dumb on me, you know what you do to me" and his hungry eyes for you will melt you completly, subaru with needy eyes is dangerous.

i think subaru don't really likes to put nicknames on you, for him the pretty name of yours feels like sweet honey on his mouth to say, so he definetly calls you by your name always. but sometimes he feels freaky and likes to call you his good girl.

and sometimes while taking off your clothes he rips them apart but not intencionally "fuck, sorry hun, this stupid fabric always gets on the way... i'll buy you a new one, a better one... or maybe you should stay like this in bed forever hehe... " and since subaru is good and nice, he is a service dom.

i think subaru enjoys to make you suffer for his mouth every chance he gets, and he got to know your body so well that he knows how to make you tremble.

subaru loves eating you out, feeling your thighs trembles and holding around his head is everything for him. subaru will lick, suck and kiss your clit, not giving attention to any other part of you body, your climax will be more late but more intense. subaru moans while eating it, hold one of you legs with one hand while the other is holding your hand, feeling how you grip his big fingers and thick knucles. after you cum he don't stop, he will lick clean every part that is wet around your pussy. his chin and lips shiny from your liquids "what? want a taste? hehe" oh, and his eyes? omg his beautiful eyes look hipnotized by your body, watching into your eyes with a gentle yet intense gaze of desire. omfg.

and if you suck him off i imagine him seated and you in your knees, taking his dick in your mouth is kinda of a challenge, bc the man in a little too thick for your little mouth, and he tries not to push you but everything about you is so hot, literally, he sometimes is afraid you may burn him with you body "dont push yourself too much... yes... that's good... youre being such a good girl" but don't like to cum on your face, he has another plans for that.

i think subaru likes to make you cum on his fingers as well, and since his fingers are thick and long enough he easily abuse your g-spot so many times until you cum again, will lick his fingers to then start touching himself as you position yourself for him.

and about positions, i think he is rather simple sometimes but if hes feeling it, might do the pose where he is standing and you're holding in the air with your legs around his waist and your hands in his shoulders. ofc he has the strenght and the size so... yea. in that position subaru is the one in full control, holding you by your butt cheeks making you move up and down on his trobing dick, and your pussy feels so good in that positions, tight and so fucking wet for him. some of your liquids fall to his legs but he can't care less, he is too inmerse in how your jaw drop in every thrust, how your eyes look into his with a needy look and your pink cheeks shine under the soft moonlight "who's my good girl huh?... yes you are... fuck... ya' better milk me good ah.." and feeling how you tighten around him makes his hands hold you more rough and fuck you hard. the wet noises with your moans and his horny grunts makes the air hot to breath, almost like a sauna, your only body heat was enough to make everything around burn in desire.

another position can be reverse coswgirl, but again, he is the one moving your body, not completly tho. i imagine subaru gasping hard while watching how you move your hips and back to have a better access to a deep conection. oh and subaru? he has to bite his bottom lip for how good you look from behind, your back is everything to him and his abs contract at the mere sight of the curvature of your back. his pace become erratic for it. he goes hard and his voice grunts a little over how fast and hard he is pushing into you, eventually subaru push your face into the matress in all four and fuck you until he cums in your back, to then put it in again and slap your ass "wanna rematch? haha" he jokes, not entirely tho.

i also think if you two got into a second round, he will let you have more control than before, will let you ride him as much as you wanted to, but facing you. and he is all into your face expressions. loves to see how your jaw drops and your eyes go blank for some seconds. his hands will squeeze your tits that bounce a little and play with your nipples, loves to make them hard. subaru's eyes sometimes will look how you move your hips, in circles or from back to front or even bouncing a little. he finds your body cute in a sexy way, its little compared by his size, and your little efforts really put a smile in his face.

oh, i also belive subaru likes when you dig your nails into his skin, any part of it, his back, his arms, his abs or his chest, he likes that a lot.

and when you both cums he will do it inside you, feeling how you milk him makes subaru not to pull out never, he is so in love of how your body heat burns every part of him.

"you did good... c'me here... my good girl did so good..."

finally, the aftercare is nice and calm, sweet too. subaru will cuddle you hiding his face in your chest, while he hugs you and tap on your back gently, like he does to his coffin before going to sleep, he wants you to relax as much as he does with that little finger tap he does.

"i love you..."

── more of my content here!

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[rqbossman]

Hello Mr Bossman! (and possibly anyone else who reads this)

Its an honour to be here, I have a few questions. First i appologise for the long paragraph, you may dismiss it for the questions at the bottom. For context, i am here after finishing TMA and being up to date with TMAP, i then went over and listened to RQG, and have just finished listening to Epilogue 3 and might i just say, good sir I am grateful for your podcasts. I am currently just a few months away from my final exams of High School, and as someone who even just 1 year ago was very lost, struggling with school and being just overwhelmed. TMA isnt exactly comforting, but the characters and plot managed to serve as a good form of escapism while sorting myself out. I found my self engaging more in creative things that i had originally put aside in favour of maths and science (which i hated but thought i needed to do). I started drawing again, even if just fanart. and i found things going well. By finding podcasts, story telling and these communities have helped me in my own understanding of what i want in life. I got an ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, and almost directly after started RQG and as my first hyperfixation (that i was aware of as an hyperfixation) gosh dang it hit hard. (in a good way). Ive been able to do so much more creative writing and drawings, and got re-involved with a small dnd group with some friends who i played one game with almost 4 years ago now. So overall, inspirational sounds cringe, but it was. Im doing my best with the upcoming exams, but trying to get in to Medicine is not my only prority, and the fact ive been re-introduced to my first love (Literature and story telling), im planning to go do an Arts degree and i know i wouldnt have been able to confidently make this decision, or even have survived this long in the school system without the work you and your coworkers do. Now the sap is out of the way, Question time! (if you could answer even just one of these questions it would be so cool)(they go in order of RQ relevant to random stuff)(dont feel pressured to answer all/any. i know i wrote alot): 1. what would you say is the best way to draft out a long-form story. (with "Erasing the Line" as an example) Did you start at the end, with the links to the overarching plot.

2. When working with the players (in a form of TTRPG), what did you do to make sure you didnt miss relevant timing of plot points/ avoid creating spoilers while still giving enough detail?

3. What are good places to start with making a job out of storytelling/voice acting/audio etc. In the case of RQ, how is this a job and where do i sign up please! /j (what i mean is, how is best way/how did you find all the people involved and was there a common path that you were all on before getting to where you are now?) 4. Do you have recommendations for Terry Pratchett Books, i may be an literary-leaning student, but it seems i have never actually properly read any of his books. so where is best place to start?/What did you read first?

5. Similar authors or similar inspirations? Did you have a favourite podcast you listen to in your free time that you havnt had a hand in producing/directing/working on. 6. Favourite song/album/artist. And more specifically, what you like listening to in background when doing either writing or (for ttrpg) character research/game planing. 7. Since the olympics are on at the moment, what has been your favourite sport to watch, if you have been watching at all. Thank you for your time :)

Thankyou for all the kind words. Knowing our work is helping people really keeps our engines fired up. Let's see if I can't answer your questions: 1. I "sandbox" which is where I just shove everything I can think of into an unorganised bullet point list. Characters, setting, plot, all of it in one big mess. Then I decide what type of story you want to tell, copy and paste to a new document and then start to organise the thoughts (with the sandbox on standby if new stuff comes in I don't know what to do with). I think of it like scultping, you cut away bits and reshape until something comes out the other end that is story shaped. Only then do I attempt to build the sandcastle and put something coherant together like a synopsis or scratch draft etc.

2. Very tricky. I did a complete review and update of all notes after each recording session and don't forget the audio eas edited. I made lots of gaffs that you never heard as audience.

3. I contacted anyone I could convince to take part and just proved I was serious by overworking. I don't reccomend that route. Unfortunately it really is "who" you know. That doesn't mean chase established professionals as much as it means you need to get out there and associate with other up-and-comers who match your vibe. For me the route was long and windy and not a particularly good example. 4. I normally recommend people do not read his books in publication order. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful watching his craft grow from one title to the next but I would recommend new readers tip their toe into his later works to see if they like where he ended up before committing the time. I often recommend 'Monstrous Regiment' as people's first one. My favourite though is 'Thief of Time.'

5. I don't get much time to listen to podcasts in the last couple of years. I used to listen to a lot of non fiction. 'Stuff you Should Know' and that ilk. I also read a fair amount of classic YA fiction to unwind (Windinsger trilogy, Bartimeous, stuff like that.) 6. Paul Simon's Graceland but when working I assemble a playlist for each seperate project that is tonally appropriate. If I really need to focus I listen to Classical Minimalism. Or the Old School Runescape soundtrack. I'm allowed to be ecclectic. 7. I am actually in an incredibly busy work crunch at the moment so haven't seen any of it!

[filibusterfrog]

I absolutely love your art! It makes me so happy that I literally get overexcited sometimes and have to take a break to stim. You convey so much expression and depth with even the most basic/fewest lines (meant in a good way!!), your sketches, finished colour pieces, all the different brushes and textures you use, the various styles, they're all absolutely awe-inspiring. I enjoy checking your page so much, your artistic talent and your creativity in world building so much is incredible.

I was wondering how long it took you to get so good at making art/being so creative and thinking outside of the box? And also if you have any tips to get better at art? Or what helped you advance overtime?

(I'm so sorry this is so much word vomit, sometimes I'm too shy to talk to people and sometimes I cannot stop)

what a lovely ask! thank you anon this made my day :)

to answer ur questions:

getting better is a continuous process, though as with anything sometimes you take steps forward and other times you take steps back (been feeling kind of drained of all creative energy this year due to irl things out of my control so i havent met my own expectations, but that happens!). so yeah im hesitant to put a time limit on 'getting good'

actionable advice on getting better at art:

-draw what you love, you dont have to do things just because you think they'll make you improve.

-look at your own art after its finished and think about what you can improve on next time without being mean to yourself

-draw lots of different things, figure out what you like best

-steal poses, art styles, techniques etc from artists you like. do studies if you want, its good to steal (with credit)

good luck!!!

[oracleofstars]

✦ 3VOLS : ISSUE 1, RAFAYEL

Featuring @maimochies, a well known Love & Deepspace author, as the spotlight creator!

IM NEW, WHATS "3VOLS" THE MAGAZINE?

This will serve as a "mini masterlist" where we compile links of works from different creators based on the character. And yes, its not limited to fanfiction. This is open to artists, graphic design/gfx creators & editors. (Basically, if you've created any kind of creative media related to the character)

MAIMOCHIES. WHO IS SHE?

mai is a rafayel enjoyer and a love & deepspace author! she has been writing in her corner of the internet with the pretty rafayel themed blog. have you seen her around? well, we have interviewed her recently with 4 simple questions. let's get to know mai better!

what got you into making love&deepspace content? are there any creators who inspired you to do so?

mai : funny enough ages ago when the first demo trailer came out for love and deepspace I didn't even know about it!! I happened to stumble upon a short clip of zayne and saved the video on a whim because he was attractive >·< then, as fate would have it, the game's official trailer popped up on my fyp and I got hooked, downloaded the game and haven't looked back since <333 l&ds is still new to the tumblr scene but I absolutely adore my mutuals' takes and fics on the boys!!

as a rafayel fan—what is your favorite headcannon of him? this can be your own or others

mai : hmmm… I think my favorite headcanon about rafayel is that he secretly cares a lot more than he lets on. lingers outside your apartment to make sure you've gotten home safe, always sending you a goodnight and good morning text, oh so conveniently shows up with a warm ready made meal when he knows you're having a particularly hard day, he cares deeply but he's scared of showing it.

if you could describe your favorite character with 5 words, what would it be?

mai : a gift from the stars

how is your time in oracle of stars so far?

so much fun!! it's such an honor to be part of such a loving and positive community. while I'm not as active as I would like to be I can see the effort that goes into the network and the server, from the graphics to the events. it's such a special place for l&ds creators to come together and uplift each other

RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THE DEEPSPACE NETWORK

welcome to the rafayel masterlist, find something that piques your interest here! show some love to our creators as well <3

l&ds boys crushing on you - @ maimochies

affectionate headcanons - @ maimochies

how the l&ds boys kiss - @ maimochies

sing with me? - @ sevvynth

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞. - @ jqnehr

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 - @ jqnehr

birthday celebration - @ lovexdeepspace

l&ds boys + their nicknames for you - @ lovexdeepspace

JEALOUSY , JEALOUSY! - @ rafyne

MESSAGES I CANT SEND : DEAR RAFAYEL

recently we had a 3VOLS related event entitled DEAR RAFAYEL, where we send out a prompt every 7 days and you have the choice to use whichever one you wanted.

POST MASTERLIST

dear rafayel ( prompt day 1 ) - @ rafyne

dear rafayel ( prompt day 3 ) - @ sweetheartsaku

WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?

its april 5, that means our applications are open until april 10. come join us in the discord & the network. this first issue is finally done, thank you for all the support you've given the oracle. we'll see you again next time!

[endivinity]

Hi! I'm the anon who asked you abt the TTRPG Deathclaws thing. I just wanted to thank you for the long and cohesive response and your take on the whole thing! I love worldbuilding and more specifically making animal variants and the reason i asked to begin with was because you inspired me a ton and i wanted to expand upon the ideas you have presented in your super cool blurbs--

But i think itd be better of me to try to respect your art and instead try to make something of my own instead of expanding on something of yours- even if my art of the things i have come up with will never be as visually amazing or indepth as yours. I really adore your art and creativity when it comes to creature designs- thank you for inspiring me.

Im sorry if you got any mean anons because of my ask.

Heya!! it's time to go on another tangent oh boy

I've also loved worldbuilding and creature design since I was a little kid who was notably bad at it due to being a child. I adored the trend for pokemon fusions and variants when they came through and I was doing them even before they were a huge trend - I filled out books of the things in high school! But not every artist or fanartist particularly starts on similar routes. Sometimes they don't have creative friends to essentially trebuchet their development into creature design early on.

It's not something I can pretend everyone has a penchant for and can just do on a whim - it takes a particularly malleable thought process to just decouple what is into what could be, and how far you can or even want to stretch that. But everyone has to start somewhere! I believe my journey of deathclaw designs started in 2016 as just a tiny scratch on the surface from 'what if they were different behaviourally' to 'what if they were different... visually' - when my only major inputs for design ideas were fallout 4/NV and skyrim, and it showed. Strong designs come from 'what is the purpose of it in this setting' and you reverse engineer traits shared by real or fantasy (and therefore a chain reaction of traits shared by real) animals - and you can only reverse engineer using what you know!

So - save the deathclaw variants as inspiration but also! Make a huge folder of things. Pad it out with a bunch of stuff. Build a visual library. See what other artists are doing with their concepts (this is probably also why monster hunter is so popular, because it has an ecological niche that makes it feel believable) and let that color the world you're trying to build. Let yourself go 'ok this artist did this. so what if I did something similar, with a different color scheme or scale type or animal part? what if it lived somewhere else, how would that affect it?' God knows the bethesda presentation of fallout is incredibly two dimensional and the worldbuilding needs all the help it can get

it's how you get insane premises for fics, AUs, and tabletop campaigns alike - by stepping off the beaten path and showing how much you understand the world when your concepts that fuck it up can still maintain a cohesive and believable presence in it. Though it's still a lot of effort to take any steps along this journey, which is why a lot of people don't like start u_u

So good luck, honestly, and keep being inspired by things!

(and don't worry, so far the anons have behaved themselves! mostly.)

[lyrakanefanatic]

PART THREE OF MY GRANDEST GAME CHARACTER PREDICTIONS!!

——————————————————————————

3: knox landry (tw, sexual assault)

• closest to in the game: brady daniels

• love interest: im not too sure but im just gonna hc that he gets a boyfriend/girlfriend outside of the game

• person they dislike the most in the game: lyra kane

• personality traits: hardworking, reliable, selfless, trustworthy, creative, strong, intelligent, and independent

• negative personality traits: cruel, destructive at times, irritable, petty, hesitant to trusting people, good at keeping others away, and is mean as a coping mechanism (💔)

HIS CHARACTER OVERALL HEADCANONS:

• he’s bisexual

• does boxing as a hobby, as well as art

• his father died when he was just a few months old and he has a step dad and mom

• was sexually assaulted when he was 12 by his uncle 3 separate times. even now, he can still feel the ghosts of his uncles hands on him. 💔

• has trouble sleeping most nights because he wakes up from the memory of being touched

• he pushes others away because of it too. he’s never really had a lot of friends since the incident or could never keep a lot because he kept pushing them away and being mean as a coping mechanism

• he’s 5’10 and 23 years old with hair that looks black but is actually really dark brown, and hazel eyes

• is very harsh on himself with his art but can draw literally anyone or anything at any given time. he’s defo one of those people who can, in fact, draw zendaya (iykyk)

• tells everyone that his favourite artist is arctic monkeys, when in reality it’s laufey 💀

• he has a twin sister who is older by like 2 minutes but he’s always acted like the older brother

• very attractive and has a crazy good jawline (and an eyebrow slitttt)

• he has an irish accent that’s not too strong, but when he’s anxious or pissed out of his mind you can’t understand a word that’s coming out of his mouth

• the reason why his accent is more watered down is because he moved from ireland to texas with his mom, sister, and stepdad after the incident to avoid his family who gaslit him into believing that his uncle didn’t sa him

• although it’s been hard, his family has always been supportive, and immediately fought for him once they found out about his uncle touching him

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHER CONTESTANTS:

• lyra kane: lyra and knox are both people who can be cold and stubborn, so because of that they didn’t mix well when they first met. knox immediately saw her as an enemy and lyra was returning the favour. it wasn’t until hawthorne chutes and ladders where they really started seeing each other as people instead of just contestants that they were supposed to beat in the game. once they do get over their rivalry though, they end up being best friends and knox sees lyra as a little sister. he teaches her more efficient ways to fight and punch, and she helps the old grandpa with tech and computers. 💀 they’re very close and when grayson and her started dating, knox immediately went out of his way to piss him off just to be petty. 😪

• odette morales: knox honestly sees odette and lyra as a package deal, so whenever he hangs out with odette he has to bring along lyra too. at first odette was kind of unsure of knox because of how lyra felt towards him, but once they started warming up to each other knox and her became better friends. he loves how kind and soft spoken she is, and wishes that he was like that instead of being so “cold hearted” and “destructive” 💔 he defo taught her how to box too, (as she had no idea how to) and now she’s pretty good at it.

• brady daniels: brady and him became close immediately, and although knox would never and will never tell him, he had the teensiest crush on him when he came to the island. but once that crush dissolved into friendship and he got over it, they have the best banter and are constantly getting into dumb arguments over dumb things. although bradys way taller, knox can fight way better and has kicked his ass before.

• rohan: rohans british, so naturally, knox doesn’t like him. JKJK, but fr they get into so many arguments about the whole “british vs irish” thing, and their banter is a lot like michelle and james’ banter from derry girls. (if you’ve watched it, you know) knox sees him as a dumb cocky little brother, and finds his crush on savannah so cute. also, they definitely box together ALL. THE. TIME. like you CAN’T convince me otherwise.

• savannnah grayson: he was definitely cold to her once he found out about the whole “game master being her brother” thing, and held it against her. but he never tried to outright accuse her because he knew she was young and he was not about to start beefing with an 18 year old girl when he’s 5 years older 💀💀 they do warm up to each other eventually though, and although they don’t hang out a lot, when they do they have a lot of meaningful talks. also, like everybody else, he taught her how to box because “she should know how to defend herself in a situation where she’d need to”. (now savannah threatens grayson with the fact that she can fight whenever he pisses her off)

• gigi grayson: even though knox didn’t really trust her at first because of the same reason he didn’t like savannah (*cough cough* because she’s a nepo baby *cough cough* who said that?) he never tried to show it because he loves how bubbly and cheerful she is and doesn’t want to do anything to turn her sour. (because he knows what that’s like and wants to protect her) he definitely doesn’t like mattias and thinks he’s not good enough for her though 💀 gigi loves to paint with him even though her paintings are… not that great, and his are van gogh level good because they have a really good time. <3

——————————————————————————

THATS ALL!! 💗💗

i just KNOW knox is gonna be one of my favs <3

ALSO, I WAS EDITING THIS LAST NIGHT AND I FELL ASLEEP RIGHT AFTER I PUT MY PHONE DOWN, AND BECAUSE THE GRANDEST GAME WAS THE LAST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT, I DREAMT ABOUT IT 💀💀

BASICALLY I GOT A COPY REALLY EARLY (THE FAIRYLOOT VERSION) AND I DIDNT READ THE BOOK FOR SOME REASON, INSTEAD I WENT TO GO WATCH THE MOVIE??? EVERYBODY WAS JUST ON THE BEACH AND THEN I WAS LIKE, “man, i can’t wait to see lyra” AND THEN I WOKE UP 💀💀💀

i didnt get to see any of the contestants tho because they hadn’t arrived yet 😓 (i think??? i actually don’t know why they weren’t there)

[elfbitches]

hi :) an update and reintroduction to myself, since its been a long time and things are different now

a lot of very big life-changing things have happened to me since i've been away, some very bad, some very good, all very hard stuff to go through. i moved to another country(!), got married to my partner and best friend of 7 years (!!), and im currently in the process of filing for immigration(!!!). ive also been grappling with mental and physical health issues that, for now at least, need to be managed without professional help which makes the challenging things even harder. but im here, im alive. imperfect, with a lot i need to work on, but im still trying and my life is several lightyears away from what it used to be. ive finally landed where im gonna stay, and now i can finally recover with the stable ground ive been without for my entire life.

ive been wanting to find a way to come back to social media after abstaining for over a year now aside from checking in now and then, and i had this sort of self-imposed pressure to make it something Significant with beautiful artwork to announce my return and signify how hard ive been working on recovering mentally emotionally physically and artistically. so i kept delaying it because nothing ive been making seemed amazing or groundbreaking enough to warrant all the fuss, and in the process depriving myself of basic human interaction because i didnt feel good enough about myself to show up empty-handed. however i now realise that that impulse was the same sort of mentality that got me so catastrophically burnt out so many times before, that my creativity and artistic output is a commodity that needs to meet a certain level of quality to justify it's existence to others, and all i could do was pray that people like it enough to keep paying attention to me. im trying to break out of that, and as such i have nothing to give you other than myself. im not a content creator, i am simply a person who creates.

ive done a lot of reflection on what is important to me this past year, and currently im in a state of flux and change and adjustment in all aspects of my life. ive basically restarted my entire artistic journey and im starting over from scratch in order to make my art something I both love to look at and love making, and neither of those things have been true for many years now. the same goes for how I presented myself and interacted with others during my time on social media, and I understand now what it means when people say "you teach people how to treat you"; it took me a long time to realise that I was unhappy with how people treated me, and that was a direct result of me constantly enabling specific behavior simply because it gave me positive attention (even if it was at my expense most of the time, people-pleasing habits die hard). from now on going forward, i want to give myself the respect i deserve, and be better about establishing healthy boundaries without being the isolated recluse ive become in the past year.

so all that said, hi! you can call me abel or blue :) i work as a remote graphic designer/illustrator for a tea shop in seattle, and live in canada with my husband will and our cat mango cheesecake! im a weird gay stoner with AuDHD and my current obsession and all-encompassing special interest is my multimedia art therapy project called ELFWOOD, and im always working on it in some capacity at any given time. im also a nsfw artist that loves drawing queer porn and doing drugs so suggestive stuff and things relating to weed and psychedelics will be a big thing here. i hope to be brave enough to post art and project updates someday soon, but i want to make sure its something i want for myself and not because i want to rely on external validation. thank u for reading and sticking around if u choose to! if not, thats okay and i hope u have a lovely day anyway :)

[inamagicalhallucination]

i had the best bsd famous no powers au headcanons because i got the mental image of dazai saying he “hates” chuuya and none of his friends should listen to him because chuuya sucks and atsushi sadly putting the chuuya poster he wanted to buy back

and also “wait so dazai can sleep with chuuya but i cant listen to his music??? wtf ???”

most of them would be in the entertainment btw but a few exceptions here and there

okay first of all a lot of the ways every one met every one would be different for the sake of like creative liberty sfakdj like dazai and atsushi would have met earlier ; i would probably not put akutagawa in the music industry so his relationship with dazai would be different - but i havent actually worked any of that out yet so ignore this

anyway

first of all - a key plot point would be that chuuya and dazai had a falling out - and i mean an actual falling out like they cant stand anyone bringing the other up

which really sucks for the ada becuz like chuuya’s music >>>>>>>>>>>

anyway here are what i think some of the characters would be like

chuuya: 

- he rose to fame as a teenager - he’s wildly known for his good music and his smexy face 

- a good portion of younger artists like his music and look up to him

- he likes writing his own music but sometimes feels conscious about more dark/personal songs

- had a falling out with dazai at some point becuz of this he does not like ppl listening to the music that comes from dazai’s friends but he does secretly like a lot of their songs

- has secret social media accounts to stalk dazai

- has cried becuz he convinced himself at some point about dazai ‘being with’ almost everyone at the agency (at different time periods) and was not right even once

- every single one of his friends knows that half of his music is obviously about dazai but no one knows how to bring it up

- every one’s favorite thirst trap

- you know how a product will appear for a .000000000000000001 sec w/ a bts member and immediately get sold out ?? yeah thats how it is for him

- he’s very strict about crediting ppl - like someone will say like two words to him that’ll inspire him and he’ll credit them as co-writer

//

dazai:

- im not sure if i want him to be a singer or not but he’s definitely involved in other aspects such as writing producing etc

- HATES chuuya 

- so much that he’s constantly thinking about him like the pathetic wet cat that he is

- he has forbidden everyone in the agency from listening to chuuya’s music

- there may or may not be a secret underground community within the ada that listens to chuuya’s music and fangirls over him and it may or may not include everyone but dazai

- when someones mad at dazai they blast chuuya’s music

- *listening to chuuya’s music, secretly* wait is this fucking song about me ? ... nah

- atsushi once wrote a song about dazai and how glad that he was that he had a brother figure like dazai and dazai cried for 24 hours straight 

- atsushi is no longer allowed to casually write about him 

- he acts really playful and aloof but he streams all of his friends music religiously and is secretly their biggest fan

- has tried to convince everyone he knows that sings to sing his suicide song - no one has agreed yet

- he has trouble finding inspiration but when he does he latches on - sometimes he’ll disappear for days and then come back with the most perfect songs 

- really only openly nice and supportive to atsushi tbh 

//

atsushi

- i want him to be with dazai earlier becuz i think it would let their dynamic really settle and atsushi trauma-response personality won’t be as prominent if that makes sense

- atsushi’s favorite musician is everyone :D no im kidding thats what he says but its actually chuuya 

- yeah he’s the younger brother of dazai (not sure if their kinda like brothers or just adopted brothers or what yet) and he’s in love with chuuya it runs in the family

- he’s in a band

- it’s called snow beneath the moonlight - it’s him, naomi, and junichiro

- maybe they’ll add lucy and/or kyouka but idk

- atsushi’s the main singer - juni’s on drums - naomi’s on guitar - but they switch around for the funsies

- im gonna create a separate section for them actually and keep the focus on atsushi for now

- atsushi’s solo music is....

- the first album he released came after weeks and weeks of people spotting him going to the studio in bright fun clothes - and he posted a lot of fun things

- so everyone thought it’d be a fun, motivational bop album

- it was so fucking sad like holy shit what the fuck atsushi go to fucking therapy

- really good tho :>

- like if you could u would inject his voice into ur veins 

- ya know lyn lapid’s song detached 

- yeah

- if atsushi sang that itd be about akutagawa btw im not saying anything but i am

- a lot of his clothes are styled by rashomon - a fashion brand owned by the akutagawa siblings - half because of however celeb - brand partnerships work - half because he somehow became ryuu’s muse 

- i want him to live with dazai - which is one of the reasons why they need to meet earlier because i had the mental image of atsushi talking about moving out and “yeah so i moved out of my brother’s place and ya know it’s strange. good at times but strange. Like i can do so many things i was never allowed to - like i can get wasted, try acid, invite someone for the night, buy chuuya nakahara posters, put up my chuuya nakahara posters, listen to chuuya nakahara’s music, own chuuya nakahara’s albums”

- since i think dazai would probably let atsushi drink as long as he’s not insane about it , throw kunikida in there too

- has a lot of songs about ryuu but he’ll never tell him

- ryuu listening to any love song by atsushi “wait is this fucking song about me??? ...nah”

- he may or may not be fucking ryuunosuke akutagawa i cannot deny or confirm anything

//

akutagawa:

- he owns a fashion brand with his sister solely becuz i showed him to my friend a few months ago and i said “sorry he dresses like a sad vampire victorian orphan thing” and she said “that is the sexiest man i have ever seen” or something like that its been a hot second

- may or may not be in love with atsushi you cant prove it - well okay sure he has collection after collection inspired by atsushi but-

- okay so maybe he listens to atsushi’s music when he’s coming up with designs but-

- okay so maybe he has all of atsushi’s albums hidden where atsushi cant find them but-

- okay so maybe atsushi’s been at his place enough for akutagawa to think ‘oh no what if he finds all the albums’ but-

- anyway

- he had a lot of goth, punk, etc, vibes and stuck to a dark, muted color range

- and then one day dropped a gold-violet colored bright not-at-all-like-his-previous-stuff collection and pretended it was normal

//

snow beneath the moonlight - band

members: atsushi, junichiro, naomi

- it was started in highschool by juni going to atsushi and being like ‘wanna start a band’ and atsushi, who was sleeping a little cardboard box in the spot where the sun was, was like “hmmm? um sure zzzzzzzzz” if that makes sense 

- naomi found out about it and joined before atsushi and juni could ask her

- so typically it’s atsushi on vocals, naomi on guitar, juni on drums, but they can be pretty versatile like atsushi’s usually got a guitar on him sorry i cant think of the words rn and juni can play the piano and naomi can do all of that

- naomi and juni sing too if they want - theyre not strict about roles 

- they wrote their music together in highschool 

- they still do - but now when their stuck they dont cry they ask others for help :)

- very sweet and fun vibes

- they literally just do whatever they want - if there is a style or genre they want to try they probably will

- naomi has to do a lot of the talking becuz juni gets uncomfy and atsushi’s attention span causes him to leave ppl mid conversations becuz he saw a cool leaf

okay

//

quick notes:

- not sure if oda and his orphans will be alive but itd be weird to kill them off in this au for me but idk

- oda’s a writer

- poe is also a writer 

- idk where to stick ranpo in becuz it hard for me to imagine him being anything but the world’s best detective

- i kind of want yosano to be in the industry but i also want her to be a doctor

- the ada is just fukuzawa’s adopted children that do whatever they want career wise becuz of him - nepotism babies btu theyre all orphans 

- kyouka’s a singer and so is kenji

- katai’s a producer

- kunikida’s someones manager but who knows whose he only ever babysits dazai and the rest of hte agency

- so as you can see im still working out the kinks of this au

- if you have suggestions or comments lemme know

- this would be equal parts skk and sskk and whatever the fuck everyone else’s got going on

- kouyou would also be a singer - im thinking classical

- q is that child artist that you love but cant help but wonder fi theyre being exploited

- lucy is trained in america and started off there but has recently moved to japan idk how thatll work for her

- sigma is a big atsushi fan btw

- the ada is so chaotic and disorganized and half the ppl there arent even in the industry but it’s just a cover for fukuzawa’s children so it still works

anyway i might continue this and update as i go

feel free to ask more about this au or give ideas or whatever <33

[noctilin]

Hi jez!! ive been a long time follower of yours and your art has been a huge help when i was struggling in school. Hope you dont mind me asking this out of the blue but Im graduating soon and i still dunno if the careerpath i'll be taking is one i wanna take for life. I really like art, but im not really good at it, and i dont rlly have the means to "follow my passion". Im curious, do you do art for a living full time, or are you doing art while also having a quote unquote "real job"?

it doesnt really help that my parents arent very supportive of my art hobbies as of now, especially since im not making any money out of it. Money speaks as they say... LOL

hello!! i answered a question similar to this before you might be interested in. but tldr, i draw for a living! mainly freelance illustration.

commitment to art as a career is such a... complicated topic, i won't lie. even more difficult when you don't really have a sturdy support system like you say :( unfortunately, most people don't realize this is or isn't what they want until they take that leap.

personally, at first, it felt good, affirming to earn a living out of my art, it still does, but after years of it, i realized i would rather not monetize my work. it caused me to develop a complicated relationship with my creative process over the years. it often makes me question if i feel fulfilled with what i do, or if i'm only making this a means to survive. it burns me out constantly. even in the present, i have to continuously recondition my own perception of my process. but i'm currently not in a good position to just switch out my career.

i have been incredibly lucky that my art garners interest the way it does, and i make sure not to take it for granted. but i cannot hide how mentally draining it is to draw because i need to make ends meet instead of drawing because of the joy of it.

i like my art, i just wish i could enjoy it without worrying about a hungry stomach at the same time. 😅

i guess the point i'm making from all this is that money as a motivator in a creative field can be a mind killer. some people can do it, but i've rarely met such personalities... so what i'll say is this: if you want to learn and be around creatives, i would encourage going to art school, if you can. but going to art school isn't the end of it all either if you find it difficult to enroll yourself in one. art is accessible to all nowadays! just take a few google or youtube searches and maybe a little trip to the library, regardless if you want to keep it as a hobby or pursue it professionally. i've met a lot of artists who've landed full time jobs in studios without finishing an art degree. it's just a matter of letting your portfolio talk for you, a little bit of luck, and surrounding yourself with people who spark and uplift your creative spirit.

i know this is all still uncertain, but if there's anything i'm sure about, it's the fact that you don't have to give up art to live. art is living. it can still be your hobby if it doesn't end up as your job. and even if it doesn't become your career now, it's not impossible to have it in the future. i hope you find your way and, for what it's worth, congratulations on your upcoming graduation :)!

[soup-is-nice-sometimes]

warning brendon mention + also excessive usage of brackets and like no punctuation/formatting except for paragraph breaks iM SORRY

sick and tired of ppl saying panic went to shit after ryan and jon left like yes it downgraded (compared to afycso my fave album from them) B U T ian (even tho he was only there for a few years) and dallon (who stayed on til 2017 oh how he put up with a lot of bs over the years) rlly kept it from tanking in those key years imo

like dallon is credited w writing most of v&v (with the exception of "nearly witches" - ryan wrote that) and all of twtltytd (is that even the album name idk i dont rlly listen to post ryan panic sorry not sorry) and he played bass not only for the end of pretty odd touring but also as part of the band til 2015 and then continued touring til 2017 (plus apparently brendon stopped him from releasing a song w 21 pilots which is actually why im writing this lmfao) like

dallons writing was on a similar level to ryans and it feels mean/unfair to reduce those albums that he did write to "shit" bc ryan wasnt there

and yes doab has a couple of bops (crazy = genius and also la devotee imo) but overall they dont cancel out what is mostly a shit album (ok yes dont threaten me w a good time is okay too but he did NOT make those high heels work good lord) esp cause there were literally none of the ogs except brendon on that)

and ofc pftw is ass if i ever hear high hopes or hey look ma i made it i actively try and leave wherever i am (they fucking played high hopes at a skate night i went to WHEN I WAS COSPLAYING RYAN ROSE VEST)

also side note fuck u brendon for continuing to play camisado after ryan left even tho it was like the one song he asked you to stop performing it cause it was rlly personal to him AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN (ofc all the songs were personal to him but camisado was one of the ones that he specifically drew on his experiences w/ his father to write)

also side note 2 imo panic died when spencer left (2013) but was temporarily revived til dallon left (2017) and brendons been dragging its corpse around for the last 6 years. and idc what anyone says the touring artists he played with do not count as panic cause no offence but like their title says theyre TOURING ARTISTS (like how dallon didnt consider himself a part of panic when he was touring w em til they asked him officially and then when he "stopped contributing creatively" - his words) like i rlly doubt ppl can name them off the top of their heads (altho theyre underappreciated for dealing w brendon)

if you've read this far PLEASE feel free to comment (? is taht what its called here) and/or reblog w ur additions/opinions im fairly open-minded abt others ideas!

[mahi-does-some-art]

Mahiru and Kuro are getting absorbed into the team M polycule

I think that they all would get along really well. Like genuinely once they sort through the things they've done to each other during the war, probably starting with Kuro apologizing for nearly biting Belkia.

And poking a hole in his hat, which may be more unforgivable.

Team M by themselves have a variety of different personalities and different interests so it's not so out of the blue to have Mahiru and Kuro's personalities and quirks to the mix. And even then, the usual trauma that surrounds any of the Melanchonies actually still somewhat applies to the both of them; Mahiru who has suicidal ideation and would rather die than be alone again and Kuro who, pre-realizing he needs to help Mahiru like he helped him, would have taken any chance to die and stay dead.

Also all having beef with C3 in some form or another is something that can tie them together rather nicely.

Kuro would be far more awkward with the Elites than Mahiru would simply because he's just like that but he's gonna try.

Kuro recommending good games to Sakuya, Belkia and Otogiri. He learns and factors in their taste. He keeps beating Belkia in Mario Kart and he gets all pissy about it.

I hc that Kuro is more creatively inclined and writes/has written so once that fact slips out he and Higan have at least a little something to talk about (Art, meaning. The artist and writer friendships are real and Strong.)

Mahiru and Shamrock joining together in their housekeeping skills. Mahiru's apartment and Tsubaki's penthouse have never sparkled more. Going grocery shopping together and teaching/learning tips and tricks. They get along swimmingly.

Kuro @ Shamrock: Damn theres two of them now

Belkia and Mahiru is something im not yet sure what to do with but we'll get there.

Otogiri and Mahiru would work and it'd start when Mahiru asks about her thread/string and Otogiri answering questions which leads to the both of them sharing pictures of their latest sewing projects.

Kuro and Otogiri would chill but also she thinks his kitty form is really cute and wants to pet him. It takes a bit but Kuro eventually allows it willingly.

Mahiru and Higan just Works. Somehow. They def get along better than Higan and Sham so theres that at least.

Sakuya's getting smooched either way by everybody so its all good ww