#meanwhile I’d just been explaining the relationship chart to my sibling

[lotus-mirage]

Just read Saint of the Bookstore and lmao. That’s two for two occasions where both Victoria Goddard’s protagonists and I failed to realize something important about their close friend for a truly silly amount of time. Ohhh my god.

[peppermint-chocolate-cherries]

Some Analysis of LietBela

I’ve been thinking about making this post for quite some time, but I also knew I’d be explaining my side of things in essay form.  Well, I finally wrote the essay.

Full disclaimers, I am a Canadian who was barely taught anything about Eastern Europe in high school.  My knowledge on Lithuanian, Belarusian and Polish history is from spending a few hours clicking through Wikipedia as I wanted to learn more about Lithuania once the Hetalian became my newest muse a few years ago.

Hetalia’s Lithuania was really an afterthought at best when I joined the fandom. When I wrote my first story, Absorbing the Deck, he appears as a side character in the last couple chapters driving the Clubs carriage.  At that point in my fandom experience, he was still just Russia’s lackey, and that’s how he was until I planned out The Nefarious Mathilda Jones.

I don’t recall what the change was this time, I think I just wanted to give Ivan a familiar Hetalian to be working with as one of Mathilda’s nefarious henchmen.  Even in the original D&D alignment chart (good vs evil, lawful vs chaotic) I made for the characters in the story, Tolys was never specifically assigned an alignment.  I even considered putting him and Antonio into a side fling, but that didn’t pan out.  Over time, since it took 2.5 years to write the last 10 chapters of the story, I was able to think about the nefarious quartet’s motivations a lot more, and develop backstory for them that would cover ⅔ seasons worth of a television show.  That is when Tolys’s POV became so important for me, as a voice of reason to rationalize Mathilda’s decisions in the last year of the story.

And that is when I fell in love with the character of Lithuania, and looked up his history.  Turns out that Lithuania was already an Eastern European powerhouse in the 1200’s-1400’s, before joining up with Poland to create the renowned Commonwealth.  There were many instances during their union where Poland wanted to cooperate more with other kingdoms, such as Sweden and France, but it was the Lithuanian faction that opposed this.  I realized that this made for an interesting dynamic between the two of them: Poland was the politician, and Lithuania was the warrior.

Then we have Belarus.  The young child was bounced around a lot between guardians, along with Ukraine and Russia.  The rise in power of the Grand Duchy of Lithuania in the 1200’s was all about taking over land from the Mongols and from the former Kievan Rus when opportunity struck. At that time, he controlled territory all the way from the Baltic Sea to the Black Sea, including large sections of what are now Belarus and Ukraine.  As such, both sisters would have technically been under Lithuania’s charge for some time.

So, this is where this complex relationship starts, with Lithuania as Belarus’s guardian.  In the Hetalia strips and anime, we see that Belarus is quite young around this time, as this is also when Russia is a child struggling to make friends while also fending off the Teutonic Knights (aka Prussia).  While not much older, Lithuania definitely has the advantage in this power dynamic with Belarus. Although I did read that the Lithuanians did allow the Ruthenians a bit more economic and cultural autonomy in exchange for on-call military support.

During these centuries under Lithuania’s control is where Belarus grew up into a young lady, in my humble opinion.  Perhaps it was the autonomy while under his control that allowed her to do just that.  Even when Poland entered the mix and the Commonwealth came to be, Belarus remained firmly under Lithuania’s control and was not shared with Poland.  Perhaps it was Lithuania, or even Poland, that taught her how to use daggers in self-defence, should the two of them ever be unable to protect her.

Meanwhile, through all this time, Belarus kept an eye on the welfare of her siblings.  While Ukraine was also subject to Lithuania’s rulership at times, Russia was not.  He eventually found his own footing and path to imperial power, eventually becoming a fascination and a threat to the rest of Europe.  The inheritance and control of Kievan Rus, the former territory that was home to all three siblings, was becoming a hot topic of debate again, and now Russia had the power to make the move.

And so he did.  Not only did he bring his sisters back under his wing, he also dismantled the Commonwealth and claimed Lithuania for the Russian Empire as well.

Lithuania had all his former power and glory stripped away, and was reduced to following the orders of someone else.  Sure, he had to work with Poland for centuries, but that was a relationship of equals.  For the first time in centuries, Lithuania no longer had his autonomy, and now had to answer to the Russian empire.

The only trace of his former life was having Belarus at his side in the same position.

This is where I think their relationship becomes more twisted and complicated.  Belarus is the only constant that Lithuania has left, she’s the only one here he can technically still trust.  This is likely where he starts projecting his affections on her, believing that she still cares enough about him to watch his back.  Meanwhile, Belarus is embracing her role in the Empire, enjoying her people’s return to Slavic cultures and traditions, and more than happy to serve her brother instead of Lithuania.

When the Russian Empire collapses, and everyone becomes independent after World War I, Lithuania and Belarus both find themselves suddenly fighting with Poland and Russia to reclaim the territories surrounding Vilnius.  There were even a couple attempts to work together, first as equals in a Lithuanian-Byelorussian republic, but then with Belarus still a part of Lithuania.  Ultimately, her land got split between Russian control and Polish control, while Lithuania had to cede control of Vilnius to Poland.  Nobody was getting along during this time, let’s just put it like that.

World War II comes along, and they both get conquered again, bouncing between Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia a few times before they both ultimately become Soviet states after the war.  Finding himself in the same position as before, Lithuania is desperate to make amends with Belarus and rekindle the allegiance they once held to each other.  Even if the times of conquering lands and controlling territories was no longer a thing, Lithuania still deeply cared for her.  However, Belarus was once again happily embracing Russification and rejecting Lithuania at every turn.

This is where I ultimately think their relationship became toxic.  Lithuania is pining for her beyond reason, and she wants nothing to do with him.  It’s hard to say who is more at fault here. While Belarus breaking his fingers in the Hetalia strips is certainly a very extreme action, Lithuania also did not have the wherewithal to take off his rose-coloured glasses and see that she was genuinely not interested in his advances.

It’s not until the fall of the Soviet Union, when Lithuania and Belarus take their separate paths to independence, that I think Lithuania finally sees the light.  He’s making all these efforts to join the European alliances and economy, and earn his places in the UN and NATO.  He’s working with the other European countries to find ways to bolster his own economy and provide for his own people, now that everyone has agreed to stop invading each other and work together instead.

On the other side of the border, he can see all too clearly now how stuck Belarus is in her own ways.  She struggles to make ends meet for herself, she does not seek aid or alliances with the rest of Europe, and she ultimately resorts to being a puppet state to now-capitalist Russia.  It troubles Lithuania greatly, since he’s watched her for so long as she grew to be a nation only for her to take this path that opposes his own.

He does still have to cooperate with her on border issues, and he still has to pay attention to anything she or Russia might be up to.  Lithuania still cares about her fate, but I think in modern days he’s come to accept that he cannot control it for her.  One day, Belarus will have to remove her own rose-coloured glasses and see where she has allowed Russian influence to take her.

On that day she comes to her senses, she might realize that it’s already too late to avoid becoming entirely Russian and fading away into the history books.  On the other hand, she might wake up in time to resist that fate, and forge her own independence.  She might finally call on assistance from the West to break free from Russification, to reclaim her own culture and language that were nearly lost.

Lithuania still awaits the day where she’ll come to his doorstep asking for help, and he will always keep the door open for her.  But now he realizes that it’s up to her to ask for his help, when and if she is ever ready to.

I found Hetalia in 2015, at which point there were already thousands of stories posted to Livejournal, Fanfiction.Net and AO3.  When looking through the tags for LietBela (as well as RusLiet), there is a LOT of toxic relationships in there.  Early fandom really went hard with the “Lithuania pines, Belarus breaks his fingers” aspect of the manga and wrote some very dark and abusive tropes into their stories for Tolys and Natalya.  I only needed to read a couple of these stories to figure out that this is definitely not my cup of tea.

However, I cannot overlook the historical context between these two characters, and what events would have led to their relationship becoming so toxic and complicated in the first place.  These are two characters who have known each other for 800 years, who grew up together and forged their identities alongside each other.  No doubt they used to respect each other when Belarus was under Lithuania’s rulership, perhaps even admire each other’s strengths.  But that loss of Lithuania's power led to their relationship becoming incredibly strained and violent.

In my headcanons for the modern day nations, Lithuania is still recovering from the anxiety and paranoia he developed under Russia’s control, and part of that journey is accepting what has become of his relationship with Belarus.  He has learned to move on, to work on himself instead and to find happiness in other ways and with other relationships.  But he still holds onto that hope that, someday, Belarus will come to him and ask for his help.

And he will answer that call gladly.

[awkwardlyamusing-blog]

How to Introduce Your New Dog to Your Old Dog

New Post has been published on http://doggietrainingclasses.com/how-to-introduce-your-new-dog-to-your-old-dog/

How to Introduce Your New Dog to Your Old Dog

Looking back now, I see that the crisis was largely driven by my own hubris.

After failing spectacularly at raising a wild little husky puppy named Ari, I wrote a book about my foibles and the inner workings of a dog’s brain. I interviewed canine behaviorists and certified trainers and read every book I could find on operant conditioning. I was convinced I had become an expert.

I managed to maintain the delusion after Ari’s death three years ago. I continued the misapprehension in the months following, when I adopted Leka, a 14-week-old shepherd mix rescued from a ditch in Mississippi. Leka, unlike Ari, attended a fantastic day school for puppies and became the ideal trail dog—an enthusiastic partner for any backpacking or running project.

She has her quirks—like screaming at the top of her lungs when we visit the vet or try to bathe her—as well as a general distrust of dog biscuits and physical affection and toddlers. But these idiosyncrasies aside, Leka is mostly a happy, social dog. So this spring, my partner, Bill, and I assumed that Leka would be thrilled to play big sister to an adopted canine sibling.

In preparation for the arrival of our new rescue puppy, Maddox, we shifted Leka’s feeding schedule and scooped up all her favorite toys, replacing them with neutral ones about which she’d feel less possessive. We bought Maddox his own beds and dishes, along with baby gates to separate the dogs whenever they needed alone time.

Maddox, a gangly mixed breed, arrived late on a Thursday night. He was as sweet and gentle as his foster mother had promised. Bill and I watched with relieved gratification when, a couple hours later, Leka engaged him in a gentle game of backyard tag. We congratulated ourselves whenever she sat outside Maddox’s crate or shared a toy.

But as the first week of our blended family came to a close, Leka’s satisfaction with this new arrangement dissipated. She began to sigh whenever Maddox would steal a stuffie or help himself to her treat. She began slinking out of the room whenever he entered. By the end of that second week, Leka’s condition devolved into what can only be called a full-on panic attack. That Friday afternoon, I sat on the couch with a shaking 45-pound shepherd panting in my lap, her heart rate fast enough to detonate any electrocardiograph. Maddox, meanwhile, prowled around below our feet, alternately chewing and peeing on a once lovely area rug.

And I? I sat, surveyed the scene, and began to cry. The house was a disaster. Bill and I were both sleep-deprived. Maddox was a feral hyena who desperately missed his siblings, and Leka was in the midst of a nervous breakdown.

Clearly, I had ruined everyone’s life.

Eventually, Bill returned home from work and sequestered Leka in our bedroom. They spent the evening sharing snacks and enjoying the collective peace afforded by a closed door. Meanwhile, I stopped crying just long enough to clean the rug and take Maddox for a walk. Outside, in the clarifying summer twilight, I was finally willing to admit my own ignorance.

I didn’t know nearly enough about introducing a new dog into an existing one’s life. It was time to summon some more experts. So I reached out to five leading animal trainers and behaviorists to figure out where we ran off the rails.

We’re finally back on track, and Maddox has been a part of our family for two months now. Would I do it again? Absolutely. But not before heeding the following advice.

(Kathryn Miles)

Start with Some Soul-Searching

A lot of people are under the misapprehension that dogs are pack animals, but that’s just not true, says Melissa Bain, a professor of clinical animal behavior at the University of California at Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. “Dogs are social animals, like humans,” she says. “That doesn’t mean they always want to be around other dogs.” Her own pet is more than content being the only dog in the house. It’s important to have a sense of whether your dog shares those introverted proclivities. If your dog hasn’t spent a lot of sustained time around other dogs, consider borrowing a friend’s pup for a weekend or arranging well-monitored playtime at a dog park or other off-leash area to get a better sense of how it behaves in social settings.

Play a Little Hard to Get

There are so many dogs in need, it can be tempting to jump into a new relationship based on a photo or sad story. But it’s imperative to know whether or not that dog’s temperament is a good match for your existing canine, warns Sue Sternberg, a canine trainer and an author of multiple books on dog interactions and aggression. Ask questions of the rescue organization or shelter; oftentimes, words like “energetic” and “devoted” can be codes for behavioral issues. If a trial period is possible before adopting, take it. “The worst thing that can happen to a resident dog is for them to live in a house where it’s violent,” she says. “It’s like telling your partner you’ve rented out a room to Hannibal Lecter, but don’t worry, he won’t use our bathroom.” 

Take It Slow—Super Slow

You’d probably advise against a good friend going on a monthlong vacation with someone they just swiped on Tinder. It’s no different in the dog world, says trainer and puppy specialist Diana Logan. “There’s a reason blind dates usually take place over dinner and a movie,” she says. “Brief, activity-driven interactions build comfort and prevent us from going too far down a bad road.” She recommends taking your resident dog and new dog on what she calls “parallel walks,” where the dogs are close enough to smell and observe each other but not interact physically. Back at home, use crates and baby gates to keep the dogs separated for all but limited, supervised interaction. 

Solve Your Resident Dog’s Bad Behaviors First

A new, younger dog is going to look to your resident dog for guidance, says Sternberg. “If your current dog barks at other dogs on the street, he will teach those behaviors to the new dog,” she explains. Ditto, she says, if your resident dog bolts every time you open the door or tears apart the house whenever you leave. If you’re working on issues with your current dog—especially aggressive behaviors—now isn’t the time to add to the family. 

Be an Advocate

A new interloper in the house is a big and often unpleasant change for even the most social dogs, says Katherine Pankratz, a clinical behavioral-medicine fellow at the North Carolina State College of Veterinary Medicine. Some resident dogs may become possessive and aggressive; others, like Leka, may grow increasingly meek and anxious. The trick, says Pankratz, is to be ready to respond. “Be open and compassionate as well as ensuring safety.” In the case of Leka, she says, I probably would have been better off returning her toys to her to give her more confidence that her place in the house was secure. If Maddox kept taking them, I could have separated him to give Leka time with her stuffies in peace. After talking to Pankratz, we started feeding Maddox in a separate room, and Leka became a lot less frantic about having her dinner stolen.

Avoid Playing Favorites

When my friend Kate adopted a second dog, she was so worried that her resident dog would feel sad that she didn’t spend much time bonding with the new addition. I was so worried baby Maddox missed his siblings that I neglected Leka. Both, says animal behaviorist Ken Ramirez, are common mistakes when building blended canine families. The key to success, he says, is to make sure both dogs get individual time with you, either on solo walks or during play sessions. During training time, use a baby gate to separate two rooms, and use that barrier to your advantage. “A lot of times, I’ll literally straddle the gate and train both dogs on either side,” he says. “It’s a good way to help them learn not to be jealous with one another.” Or he’ll train one dog on one side while giving the other dog a favorite toy or chew treat to enjoy. “A dog can learn really quickly that positive interaction is almost dependent on the other dog being around.”

Know the Warning Signs 

That sounds like a no-brainer, says UC Davis’s Bain, but a lot of pet owners don’t know the early signs of anxiety or aggression. One of the most common misconceptions Bain encounters is that dogs are happy whenever they wag their tail. “I always tell my students: no one’s been bitten by an animal’s rectum,” she says. “You need to look at the face and see what’s going on there.” Averted eyes, a fixed lip, or panting are all examples of discomfort. They’re subtle, says Bain, so familiarize yourself with charts like Sophia Yin’s downloadable poster on fear and aggression in dogs. “Too often, by the time a person has identified that there’s a problem between the dogs, they are five days too late,” she says.

Remember Those Childhood Car Rides

Growing up, my younger brother and I hated being in the back seat together. I’d draw an imaginary line down the middle and demand he respect the boundary. He made a point of doing anything but. When I finally hauled off and shoved him, you can guess who got in trouble. The same thing happens all the time when a new puppy enters the house, says Sternberg. “Again and again, I see people punishing the wrong dog. That’s just going to make the resident dog more anxious and stressed, while it gives the new one permission to take more advantage.” You never want to allow physical aggression to get out of hand, but it’s also OK for the resident dog to scold or correct the puppy when things start to escalate: a dirty look, a warning bark, or a quick growl are all useful feedback for the younger dog. Just be ready to step in if that warning isn’t heeded.

Make De-escalation Fun

Even the best behaved dog can get overstimulated and lose impulse control or start ignoring cues from other dogs. When a play session starts to get heated or one dog looks like he’s making bad choices, it’s time to reroute everyone’s energy and focus. Logan recommends “interrupting picnics,” in which you call both dogs into another room, ask them to sit, and reward them with treats while they stay. “Don’t underestimate the value of teaching even simple skills, like attention and eye contact,” she says. “The more skills they have, the better they are set up for success. And you always want their attention returning to you.” If a picnic isn’t working, tether the dogs so that they’re in the same room but can’t physically interact with one another. This also teaches the puppy he can’t necessarily get access to every toy or human he wants.

Don’t Go It Alone

We know to take our dog to the vet when she’s sick, but too few people know to consult with a professional when a dog is in distress, says Ramirez. He recommends working with a certified trainer who specializes in positive-reinforcement training from the start of any new relationship—both with your resident dog and your new dog. If problems start to arise, contact your veterinarian for advice or additional referrals. “Every dog is different,” says Ramirez. “The best thing you can do is come into the situation knowledgeable and ready to help them find a new normal that feels safe and secure.”

Source link Dog Training