#meanwhile Jonathan Harker is Now Trapped in Animeland

[see-arcane]

This reminds me Alucard Hellsing is Dracula with beyond mary sue levels of power, and inspires me to let Jonathan and Mina have as many abilities as they want, as a treat, no matter what people may say lol

Usagi would kill him still because I say so

Dramatic version:

Alucard somehow gets around Hirano's weird 'only opposite sex turnings can happen and only with virgins!!' rule and turns Jonathan against his will for 'worthy adversary/thrall/fledgling' reasons (Death/Undeath 1). Usagi does some magical painless mercy kill (Death 2) and then spends the rest of the scene whacking Alucard over the head with a scepter.

Delicious Narrative Justice version:

The Harkers are still kicking and full of anime overkill supernatural powers. Melee ensues. Usagi does some kind of reincarnation beam and Jonathan and Mina get reborn to live their lives in peace. Alucard is still Alucard so he takes a while before limping home to Integra. He will never wash out all the glitter.

Most Likely version:

Alucard: Jonathan! It's been forever! Look, I got turned into an Englishman after all! By Van Hel(l)sing. Who is...somehow no longer a Dutchman? Did he move to England and have a kid late in life to start up his anti-vampire foundation? Eh, doesn't matter. I'm voiced by Crispin Freeman, I'm full of anime demon magic, and the leather looks great on me. I'm content. Please kill me in shounen horror combat please please p l e a s e Anderson left me hanging decades ago PLEASE--

Usagi: Oh wow, it's gross around here. Hold on. -uses sparkling cosmic grade divinity to zap the zombies and Nazi vampires into cherry blossom petals- What were we talking about? You mentioned spice cake and German chocolate.

Jonathan, trying to ignore how distressingly happy Alucard is now that he's got the kukri out: I'm willing to offer you a wedding cake-tiered helping of both if you put me out of my misery.