#meanwhile everybody in the party is a fucking kangaroo

[annadeef]

The sapphic urge to carry the local (squishy) wizard bridal style @artbytesslyn

[talking-head-productions]

The entire plot of Steven universe but with human office workers:

MAJOR SPOILAGE!!!!

there's a big conglomerate run by a family of matriarchs

years ago the youngest matriarch was given control of a new, very small branch

one of the security guards, concerned about the company's resource management, basically staged a coup

she recruited the matriarch's secretary and the gayest gay couple (one creates stock predictive algorithms, the other was lower tier security), among others

there was a security civil war, more or less, and the young matriarch was assassinated

the other matriarchs decided to abandon that branch, and the town that existed around it; but first, they broadcast a signal on the 'rebel' frequencies that basically made anyone who heard it go insane (sounds science fiction, but might be possible irl)

meanwhile, the town itself is mostly fine. The remaining 'rebels' build a house and just live there for a while

they also adopt a little feral child orphan

eventually the leader falls in love with a traveling rock star and they have a kid, but she dies in childbirth

the others start teaching the kid how to be a badass, 'cause they're now a group of vigilantes hunting the crazy people

meanwhile, in a secret sub-basement of the office building, a group of super crazies jacked up on all kinds of experimental steroids are being kept alive thanks to automated systems. There's a timer though, and when it finishes a door will open...

one of the remaining matriarchs gets it in her head that they should check on the super crazies

she picks out a random engineer and tells the engineer to travel to the office in the far off town

the engineer gets there and no sooner sets down on the helipad than she sees someone has been there recently. She freaks out and leaves

not long before that, the newly badass kid found a traumatized young woman who was locked up by the matriarch's people, even though she was on their side. This young woman still blames the 'rebels' for her plight

the young woman manages to escape the town and heads off to corporate headquarters

the engineer gets back to headquarters and decides to explore using drones. When she does, she finds the 'rebels' snooping around in the office building

she reports this at about the same time as the traumatized girl returns

they raise such a stink that the matriarch decides to send them back with their best security guard, some fancy new weapons, and a fucking tank

and when they get there... turns out the security guard is from the old days and had a personal beef with the badass kid's mom. She tries to kidnap him, almost kills the lesbians, and the whole thing becomes a massive shitstorm. And then the tank blows up

the traumatized girl was being abused by the security guard, so she chains the guard up and drags her off to a secret torture chamber for a while...

everything kinda goes back to normal for a little bit... except the engineer managed to get away, there are still lingering personality issues with the 'rebels', and no one knows about the imminent threat of the super crazies

then the engineer manages to get to the sub-basement, sets a couple of the crazies loose, and paints a target on her back

and then she gets captured

and then she realizes that if she doesn't cooperate they're all gonna die

so she tells them about the super crazies and they believe her of course

they decide to find a solution to the problem, and the engineer decides that this town isn't  so bad, maybe it doesn't deserve to be fucked off the map

so she reaches out to her boss via an old private and secure line she stole from an off-site lab at the edge of town

and basically gets told to let herself die, so she goes 'fuck you' and joins the rebels... only too late realizing she didn't exactly think this all through

and then the traumatized girl and the security guard return, having formed a weird co-dependent, mutually abusive relationship, and they plan on totally fucking up the rebels

which thankfully the rebels are able to separate them and defuse the situation

and then the badass kid and the engineer accidentally their way into making the super crazies not so crazy anymore, though still unfit to live among the normies so they leave 'em in the basement

and then the engineer and the traumatized girl start living together and they make such a cute couple

but then the security guard goes full nutso

she starts using the lower-tier crazies as servants/an army and she tries to fight the rebels

only to get infected with crazy herself and the engineer locks her in a cage after the badass kid and the feral child beat her up

among this, the badass kid finds another traumatized prisoner, this one an old rebel and a weapons expert

she doesn't show her trauma at first, and just seems glad to be back and among friends

then she reveals it was the kid's mom who locked her away for suggesting they kill the matriarchs

and the knife-maker attacks the kid and the kid locks her away again

and then the poor badass kid finds out his mom actually did kill a matriarch, the youngest one, and that's why everybody from headquarters hates him and the rebels so much

and he's really freaked out about all this

and then one of the matriarchs shows up in town and kidnaps his dad

so he and the rebels go to to rescue the dad and find what seems like a whole zoo filled with people and it's freakish but they can't do anything except escape

and they can't even rescue the other prisoners

and then the matriarchs send a sort of repo team, consisting of a midget sociopath who takes everything literally and a pair of former pro wrestlers that have half a brain cell between them

and these three kidnap a bunch more people to take to the zoo

and the badass kid, feeling really confused and guilty, decides to give himself up to pay for his mom's crimes if they'll leave everyone else alone

he gets taken back to headquarters, but about halfway there it turns out one of his civilian friends accidentally stowed away

and when they get to headquarters, this kid is put into a mock trial, total kangaroo court

and he's of course found guilty at first

but then his assigned corporate lawyer starts finding holes in the assassination story that just don't make sense

and then the kid and his friend drive a matriarch's car out the goddamn window of headquarters and manage to survive, landing in a garbage dump

where they're attacked by security drones, and one explodes and basically kills the kid's friend

thankfully it doesn't stick, the kid is able to heal him, but is his friend now technically a zombie? No one knows

but they also meet a bunch of homeless people that the matriarchs have been abusing, and the zombie friend becomes their leader

the badass kid manages to find a secret tunnel and gets back to his home really quickly, freaking everyone out

but they're all just happy he's back

but the engineer and trauma girl are even more freaked out, and they decide to leave town

only the engineer decides that she likes town too much to leave

so the two break up

trauma girl takes all their worldly possessions and leaves

and the engineer gets the dog

and then the badass kid gets to digging into the past and he realizes that maybe the secretary rebel might've been the real assassin

only for her to reveal that the young matriarch and the kid's mom were one and the same

and everybody freaks out

the lesbians almost break up over it

and the secretary has to explain how the matriarch realized her company was super shady but her family wouldn't listen to her

so she adopted an alternate persona and staged a rebellion

but then she felt so much happier in her new persona, she decided to fake her death and take the rebellion all the way

and she was mainly inspired by the lesbians

so the lesbians decide to stay together, and get married

and the kid lets that knife maker out of prison

and the whole town is invited

until two of the matriarchs show up at the after party with a pair of fucking attack helicopters

one of them tries unleashing the super crazies, only they're no longer crazy and they love the kid who saved them, so they attack that matriarch

and the other tries killing the wedding party, but she fails because they're all badasses and also trauma girl shows back up and goes full emo goth angst warrior on her ass

and then both the choppers get wrecked and the matriarchs are about to murder everybody with their bare hands

when the kid rushes out and reveals that he's basically their nephew

and then suddenly their all too happy to stop and help

and so now their mission is to go back to headquarters and convince the fourth matriarch to help

but everybody is nervous because the fourth is fucking schizo or something and she's apparently prone to violent rages, and they even view her as some kind of vengeful god

and when they get to headquarters, the fourth immediately has the kid escorted to her, acts really creepy, and then locks him in a corner office.