#mental health comes first! hoping for better days ❤️‍🩹

[inquebrar]

QSMP was one of the projects that had one of the biggest personal impacts on me. since i was younger, i have always been fascinated by getting to know different cultures and learning new languages ​​has always been something that captivated me. although for years i have "been part" of many fandoms and followed different projects, series, groups and things like that for years sometimes, but i just had my interests without having no one to talk with and share it. so this was the first time that i really participated actively and was so engaged in the "fandoms" i'm part of, to talk about it, share my theories and analyzes and stuff like that. so at the beginning (and tbh i still feel a little) i was always very nervous to talk about it or talk with other people in general (especially in a language that is not my mother tongue) because it was something so out of my comfort zone, but through qsmp i learned more about cultures and languages ​​that before i didn't even thought about learning, i felt the desire to continue learning languages ​​that i had left aside, i felt more proud of my nationality, i met very kind people from different countries, it brought me a lot of joy seeing many people starting to learn my language too and see so many people who like the same things as me who share opinions and interests and even people who speak my language who are also very engaging it's so cool to see and the whole feeling of unity, comfort and cultural mix between different people made me extremely passionate about this project and the things it provided.

but unfortunately, recently it has been very difficult to deal with the excess of negativity and heavy topics and serious matters that came to the surface and started to accumulate with disappointments and overwhelming things that i had been feeling for a while. having hyperfixation on qsmp stopped being something that motivated me and brought me happiness, it started to affect my mental health in a bad and unhealthy way, which already hasn't been so good in the last few days. so i thought i'd just vent a little so that maybe someone who is in a similar situation and having similar feelings to mine will feel less alone or a little more understood.

i heard Quackity's recent statement and i was relieved to see that he handled the situation responsibly and addressed the matters without taking away the importance also genuinely apologizing, it was a difficult and sad situation to witness in general but with the server closed on a temporary break, i really hope that he now stays informed and aware of how his team is working and how things are happening behind the scenes. i hope that this brings more organization, communication, correct and respectful treatment to all those who work to maintain the project with care and commitment, and i hope things get an extremely significant change and that everything improves from now on. i still have a lot of love for this project and i want to believe things will be more positive again, but in the meantime i hope that everyone who was affected by everything that has been happening takes care of themselves and always remember that you are important, your feelings are valid and you're not alone. speak up when you feel the need, when you feel disrespected, when you need help. also don't forget to be kind (to yourself too) and i'm waiting for better days.

[altruisticenigma]

*** TW: losing weight, v*miting ment, dieting ***

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I wanna document this journey, not just for me but for anyone else who may be starting this journey as well. I’ve been conflicted as I’ve been worried that people would say “I’m cheating,” “I’m getting a quick fix to losing weight,” etc- but as I clearly know myself, the journey my body has been on to lose weight, and that unfortunately this has become a health issue, I shouldn’t listen to naysayers- rather my journey should be something for those on a similar path to relate to.

Since August 2021, I’ve been trying to lose weight. Doing it for myself as well as I have a wedding on the horizon. I started with working out, then moved to combining with a calorie deficiency and kept building myself up. My workouts have progressed in frequency and difficulty, and I even became a roller skater- for fun and for cardio (if you want a high intensity, fun cardio- highly recommend!), and in general became very healthy.

The pros to this was I saw an increase in energy. I felt overall better. My mental health became better- historically, I always worked out because it improved my mental health, not for the bodily end result. In general I was doing better in life.

Lost 18 lbs in about 6 or so months… then I plateaued. And suddenly weight stubbornly wouldn’t come off. For a year I stayed the same, and then suddenly I started gaining the weight back, even if my routines and lifestyle were designed to work against this, and were improving.

I saw a nutritionist in July 2022. In general she improved my diet and I felt even more confident in my eating choices… but still wasn’t losing weight.

I realized then that this was some underlying health issue. I was doing everything by the book- calorie deficiency daily, working out, my sleep was good, diet was so much better… I felt better, but why wasn’t I losing weight?

In a last-ditch, end of the road effort, I saw a weight loss specialist referred by my PCP. If she couldn’t find what was happening, I’d just have to accept myself as is, I decided. But if this was something else entirely, I wanted to explore options.

Turns out, I have insulin-resistance. Makes sense as both sets of parents had diabetes in their lifetime. I’m not at the prediabetic stage, but it can lead to this if I don’t lose weight- something I was already working on. No matter how hard I worked out, or ate healthy, my body was designed to actively work against me. Which was both validating and frustrating. It’s not that I wasn’t working out hard enough. It’s not that I wasn’t doing enough. It’s just insulin resistance.

So she prescribed me Wegovy to get the weight off and stop the insulin resistance. Miraculously my insurance approved of it.

I took it last night after panicking over self-injection and having my wonderful partner inject for me- it was actually painless surprisingly. If y’all are worried about needles, I promise it was very easy to do lol. After my partner pushed and it began injecting, I audibly said “are you kidding me-“ it didn’t hurt one bit!

After day 1, I was just mostly tired with a migraine. Appetite is mostly gone. I did v*mit and have nausea when eating; I heard you have to be careful about how much you eat on the first two days after injection. But mostly so far so good.

Here’s to hoping it’ll help me out. I don’t even plan on losing an insane amount of weight- just enough to get my insulin resistance to a healthy amount ❤️‍🩹

[kpophubb]

Hi lovely ☀ I'm so happy to hear from you, this week I was literally checking your Tumblr five times per day with my tags. I miss you so much and this week I also needed you so much, but it's okay💛 I'm so sad that you are sick😿😿 I thought you recovered but you mentioned that you don't feel good and I'm just so sad about this(((

Honestly this week I have my period, and I have to take 💊 every single day because it's just so painful 😔so I think we could have some sick party together😹

I had an exam last week which I failed, but I was so confident but I failed and my manager was so stressful and is pressuring me so much😮‍💨🤕🥴

How were your weekends? Today is Sunday and I just don't feel anything ...tomorrow I have to start work again and it's not tomorrow even it's like in 6 hours(((

Today I talked to my grandma and the second time during this 10 months and she's not doing good and mental health is bad she's pretty messed up 😣😭I'm watching this one movie now and it just reminds me of some Horrors that have been through and how lucky I am to actually Escape. ironically the movie is called No Escape. The movie is so well done tho 😭😭💔😢🥺

I Never thought these things would ever happen to me.. or would ever happen in my reality 😔😔I am just so shocked that this happened and they're still consequences and I just don't want to be a part of this you know❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹💔 I wish all of this was just a nightmare and I wake up tomorrow and everything is like before

I actually wanted to send you a short message just wish you could have happy Monday and better week 😭😢🥺🥺🥺💛💛

Stay strong baby I am just so thankful that you exist thank you for all the love you give me💛

Thank you for hyunnies gifs and quotes 🤗💗 I miss you so badly

You probably have no idea and will never understand the way you helped me during this sickness period of my life😔❤️‍🩹💗 thank you so much for saving your hyunnie lixie. Please get well soon

🐁

Hi hi hi my love 🥺🤍 tumblr has been mean to me with my other asks since they crash when I make em too long (?) and can’t be edited later so here we go!😭 keeping it short but ilysm 💗 and value every little bit u say ~

First of all don’t worry about me, I’m doing better now altho I skipped my medication yesterday bc I thought I got better but apparently it made my sickness worse and took away my good night’s sleep 💔 but anyway I’m mentally active now..how are you feeling baby?:( is your period pain GONE?? I’m so sorry for being ia I’m here now promise ☀️💛🫂

The movie seems so strong..and really pain invoking and lesson learning is it on Netflix? If so, I’d love to watch while trying to understand you..

Aah it’s getting hectic for you I can say :( no sleep and so much work 😭 but I really hope smh u get a break soon and can rest as much as you need anonie. <3

I can understand about the whole nightmare part. Altho I have not been in such an intense situation like you (that’s why I give it to u always that you’re super strong bc you are my love) but I have had super dark times too and I can relate to that part where I’d be terrified and cry myself to sleep everyday and beg whatever deity was listening to make it better tomorrow and make it all vanish..but everyday I woke up and nothing changed and that made me feel devastated and made me feel like I was better off gone 💔

but I sincerely hope like me a time comes in your life where everyday would feel as good as a dream where you keep wishing you never wake up from the happiness..💖 the things of the past will never really leave u and even tho the shackles are gone someday and you’re free to walk forward, the scary marks will still be there to your feet. But look baby, slowly you’re healing even if it’s at a micro pace, getting a job, connecting w your family member (grandma) and slowly getting up even tho the suffocating feeling still haunts u, it’s slowly leading to a betterment. Like this, I’m sure you will walk towards light, love and happiness soon. Just faith it till u make it okay??

exams Are shitty..and it’s so disappointing to fail after giving your best it’s like realising your best never amounted to anything but hey love remember what I told u? “Human beings are filled w crazy potential even if you feel like u gave your best today you could still wake up tomorrow and try harder.” So keep your chin high, take a deep breath and try hard again. 💘 every success comes with ten failures, remember that.

and lastly I’ll always be here to save u and pull you up just like lixie does for hyunjin. It’s a promise, not a fancy statement. And I keep my words always. I love you sm and I couldn’t add the last quote bc that post isn’t working anymore but it was..

“The world doesn’t matter. YOU matter. 💛☀️..”♡♡

[c0mpl1kated]

hi tumblr ✨ most ppl call me kate but u can call me katie or kitty or angel or baby i like nicknames 😇

i’m returning to this nostalgic platform bc i needed a new place for my unhinged thoughts and my sexiest selfies. so here you go, this is what 2 years into transition and 1.4 years on GAHT looks like on this baby 💞

this life isn’t easy, but i’m alive and i have more hope than i did a year ago. tbh this year is off to a tough start but i’m stronger than ever and getting stronger every day. i know i have what it takes to keep going because i’ve already made it this far !!

last year i came out to all of the people who are actively in my life and i was met with so much more support than i was expecting 🥹 i reconnected with some old friends who have also come out as trans and have sweet budding friendships there that are only going to keep growing 💞 i started laser treatments for my face and the change has already been so affirming, i only have a few more treatments until most of my face will be done ✨

this year i am focusing on stability, in my finances and my mental health - the buzzword is care 🕊 im going to learn more about skin care and makeup as a way to love myself and also as a way to play 🦋 i want to find a voice coach that is trans and also is a singer, because singing is so special and important to me, and i have been putting off working on my voice through my transition up to this point ❤️‍🩹 i’m going to take better care of my body by trying to do yoga more consistently and im going to take some dance classes 🩰 i’m going to start saving for FFS and try to set up a few consultations !!

for the first time in a while i’m looking forward to this year 🥰 i hope u are too 💖

ttys

xoxo

[sonic-an-shadow]

Hello!

I had a bad day and I'm wondering how you two deal with panic attacks / bad anxiety :')

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that, I hope your day got better. 🥺🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

To deal with a panic attack, you'll need to first ground yourself. Usually an object that's pretty comforting can help, and it doesn't matter what it is, just as long as it's something that relaxes you. 🙁🙁

Hell it can even be the voice if your favorite character, or it can be an actual person. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🙁🙁 Someone who you feel most safe around and has your best instrest in mind. 😌😌

Next you'll need to try and leave the place that's causing the attack, it doesn't matter where, just get up and leave, your mental health is more important then you coming off as rude. 😠😠 If you run late to an appointment, it's fine, you'll just have to reschedule. 😒😒

Lastly, drink water, sometimes dehydration can happen after a panic attack, so make sure you have some on you. 🙁🙁🫵🫵

Stay safe, and I hope you get better. You're loved, heavily so. 🥹🥹💝💝