#mental support

[positivelypositive]

🌻

in the moments...

...when the negativity talks louder inside your mind than your thoughts and it gets difficult to ground yourself, you're still you.

don't hate that version of yourself. even if it feels like you're doing it to yourself on purpose. you're not a bad person.

you're a person who's struggling and that's all. give yourself as much kindness as you can and if the most that you can do is be less harsh on yourself, that's okay too.

your empathy is best used on yourself. you deserve that support too ✨

[borderlinebelle]

oops…🫢

looks like another parental red flag, except this time the medication did the work I never could and eviscerated any and all the emotional attachment! 👍🏽🙂

wow! 🙂

no contact break? sounds like peace and healing to me. 🙂

While, i can’t wait to be back on the 30’s and away from the 40’s. but in the meantime… strategic use will prosper. 🙂

I know they love me deeply. What greatly outweighs that love is the way it is translated. They very offen cannot share their love for me with me without the negativity, fear, and inability to see me for who I am today.

Unfortunately, despite over 10+ years of therapy I still am genuinely and extremely affected by their words. Their words continue to completely destroy me, at the most casual lip curl toward my life or choices.

I have always loved them so deeply it destroyed the very fabric of my brain and reality… because they were INCAPABLE of loving me the way i so desperately deserved and needed.

poverty and pressure robbed us both of that love.

I’ve chased and begged and wept and screamed and dreamed of the love of a parent my entire life. I recognize that they’re traumatized too and I’m finally learning to accept that they’ll never be able to treat me gently or kindly or genuinely.

I destroyed their trust as a mentally ill child, teen, adult. They may never forgive me. They may never sympathize with me. They may never see me differently.

That’s okay. I see me clearly for the first time i since childhood and I’m so proud of the growth I’ve endured and collected and the triumph I’ve forged to achieve.

IF YOU NEEDED TO HEAR THIS TODAY. IMMA BLAZE IT FOR YOU WITH THE CHANGE I COLLECTED FROM MY NISSAN TODAY. CUT THOSE TOXIC PEOPLE OUT TODAY. SLAP THAT BLOCK BUTTON AND TAKE A BREAK!! IT IS okay. You deserve peace and happiness. It doesn’t even have to be for the rest of your life, but getting some space creates room for other things. ❤️ iseeu

reblog for the sad bitches & like it for the mad bitches

[enii]

Allow yourself to feel💕

[labyrinth-of-my-mind-j]

live your life not to satisfy others, but to fulfill your heart desires. prioritize your mental health, your happiness, and your peace of mind.

[marimeiastories]

Happiness is knowing you will be fine when others leave because you managed to understand you are whole. While others enrich you, they do not complete you.

[lost-in-prose]

What is CPTSD?

This is going to be a long haul, okay? I will break this into sections so that it isn't so much to take in at once. When you see (☆☆☆☆) it means there is a break in information, and you can step away if need be, without getting lost.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING: READ AT OWN DECRETION⚠️

!!This should in no way be used as a diagnosis!!

Where It All Begins: 

People diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD or CPTSD) are often victims of prolonged childhood trauma that questions their sense of security and of self (Davis, 2019), usually spanning months if not years. This could be a result of emotional, physical, or mental abuse; sexual abuse; domestic violence; growing up in a war zone or being held captive; or human trafficking; among others. This trauma stops the part of your brain that regulates emotion, the amygdala, from growing as it should, stunting its growth at only 80% of its true size (Garrett, 2019). The growth of the children's brain is also damaged because the child's neurological and psychological development, leaving the function of their brain permanently damaged for the rest of their life. Because of this it is considered a Developmental Trauma Disorder, or DTD, because the effects aren't usually seen until later in life, after the child can escape the traumatic situation. Often, children that have experienced these traumas can be classified as ACEs, or as experiencing Adverse Childhood Experiences.

CPTSD is not acknowledged in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Five (DSM-V or DSM-5), but rather grouped together with standard Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because of this error, Complex PTSD isn't accepted as its own stand-alone disorder and most do not get diagnosed with it unless psychologists/psychiatrists accept it as its own disorder (Davis, 2019). This, however, can be very detrimental to those who actually have the disorder, since the symptoms of CPTSD are much more severe than those of PTSD (Garret, 2019).

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Physical Symptoms of CPTSD:

Some of these are symptoms I personally have and others are ones I have read about/researched:

Shrinkage of amygdala

Risk of developing immune issues, diabetes, and heart diseases in the future

Increased heart rate

Increased levels of adrenaline which causes shaking and high blood pressure

Headaches and/or migraines

Talking way too fast

Loosing large chunks of time throughout the day for no reason

Chronic fatigue

Sleeping with hands on/around your neck or touching your neck excessively

Insomnia

Slower reaction time

Heart arrhythmias

Raise in body temperature

Worsening of PMS symptoms

No energy

Overreactive nerves

Hyper senses

Auditory processing problems

Emotional/Mental Symptoms of CPTSD:

Some of these are symptoms I personally have and others are ones I have read about/researched:

Compartmentalizing way too well

Wonder if you manipulate people to love you/feeling like you are genuinely unlovable

Feeling unreal

Too good at adjusting to new circumstances/can make a home in the worst situations and have no problem with it

The irrational side and rational side of yourself constantly fighting (knowing you are freaking out over nothing but being unable to stop it)

Hypersensitivity

Unexplainable feeling of doom/dying early

A. Lot. Of. Anger. And. Barely. Contained. Rage.

Good in a crisis, only to fall apart later and/or over little things

A delayed grief process (mostly due to being unable to regulate your emotions well)

Basic inability to control emotions (aka light switch emotions)

Extremely violent intrusive thoughts

Somatic/emotional flashbacks (unlike PTSD, there is not a visual component to these flashbacks)

Imagining yourself in horrible situations where you get all the sympathy (side effect of not being loved enough as a child)

Extreme attachment issues on both sides of the spectrum (isolation and clinging)

Feels like no one knows you truly/don't trust anyone/can't tell people how they feel

Think is only extremes

Triggers

Manic/depressive episodes

Obsessive need for revenge

Hypo/Hyper sexualizing yourself

Mistaking hypervigilance for being an empath

Associating unrelated things to trauma

Little to no memory of childhood/time before trauma

ADD/ADHD

Other mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, maladaptive daydreaming, age regression, suicidal thoughts, borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorders, somatization disorder, etc.

Loss of hope/inability to feel hope

Easily over-stimulated

Chronic nightmares/night terrors

Warped sense of self

Hyperarousal (easily startled)

Downplaying everything

Feeling like you are never enough for others/constantly trying to prove that you are (aka overcompensating)

Panic attacks/anxiety attacks

Miscellaneous:

Some of these are symptoms I personally have and others are ones I have read about/researched:

Problems with religious beliefs/faith

Feeling as if there is a gaping hole physically in the center of your chest, often agonizing

Often imagines a little child hiding within your skin/beside you watching at all times

Very good with/kind to/understanding of children and strangers

Imagining scenarios at night to calm yourself enough to fall asleep

No tight clothes

Things can't touch your neck

People can't stand behind you

Rewatching/rereading movies/TV shows/books repeatedly

Psychoanalyze everyone you meet

Extremely careless with own life but extremely protective over anyone else's, especially those you care for

Grew up way too fast

Looks for a hero/rescuerer/parental role to fulfill for friends

Likes sour or spicy food

Hating competition

Feeling intense jealousy over those who got help

Hating intimacy (emotional or physical)

Drawn towards hard sciences/mental sciences

Intense need to be loved but hating it/not looking for it

Hard time communicating

The profound sense that you are okay with being the villain and you may even strive to be one (and not in the cute 'I'd love to be Loki way',, but rather completely fine with betraying/hurting/killing others)

Sitting on the floor of your shower because you can't even imagine standing up

Having a problem with authority, either by hating it and acting out or being terrified of it

Addictive personality

Never let yourself stop moving long enough to be in your own head/too scared to allow yourself to think 

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Healing from CPTSD:

You cannot escape flashbacks until you deal with your trauma head on. I will tell you right now I have been healing from mine for 3 years and I'm not even halfway done. Just be patient. You have to rewire your entire brain all over again. It's going to be hard because those with CPTSD have no 'model' for what it's like (Garrett, 2019), but you've got this. I believe it you <3

Participate in self care

Heal your inner child (I do this by doing thing I never did as a child. I jump on my bed. I have dance parties alone in my room. I sneak snacks at midnight. I run with my arms wide and wave them like airplane wings. Whatever your healing looks like, do it)

Trauma-informed therapy

Behavioral therapy

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Resources For You:

SAMHSA's National Helpline: 1-800-662-4537

NAMI Helpline: 1-800-950-6264

NIMH Helpline: 866-615-6464

Mental Health America Hotline: text MHA to 741741

Crisis Text Line: text CONNECT to 741741

National Suicide Hotline: 988

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Works Cited:

https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/09/03/what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd/

https://www.psychalive.org/injured-not-broken-why-its-so-hard-to-know-you-have-cptsd/

https://themighty.com/topic/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/habits-living-with-complex-ptsd

☆☆☆☆

Quizzes:

THESE ARE NOT DIAGNOSTIC TESTS. DO NOT TAKE THE RESULTS OF THESE QUIZZES AS A SURE-SIGN THAT YOU HAVE CPTSD

Mind Diagnosis

D'Amore Mental Health

Main post can be found here.

[theghost0fyousleepsinmymind-blog]

[deerhudson]

”therapy thought” journal piece

[malkahpariyz]

Positive Girly Playlists: Curated by Paris Dior

- The Modest Blog

[citrus-system]

When you don’t want to get off the Internet but need to step back from social media:

Play around with Minecraft PE

Make Pinterest boards

Make new playlists, or organize your old ones

Clean out your photos, notes, google docs, etc.

Download some cute tappy games

Download candy crush type games

Make some Amazon wishlists; add comments and priorities.

Save landscape images and doodle or add stickers over them

Rediscover your love for Tetris

Turn off notifications for social media apps, turn on an alarm to remember to put them back on

[neptunejheart]

You're not broken.

You may have been through a bunch things that have changed you but that doesn't mean you're broken. You're experienced & have a different perspective of certain things. There's a difference. Broken no. Experienced, yes.

You're still you and you're still able to evolve past anything that may have impacted you.

You're whoever you want to be. You're not broken. Take your power back. You don't need to be "fixed".

[positivelypositive]

🌻

if you've tried...

...to protect a loved one from negative thoughts, self doubt, and mental health issues, even in the most minimal ways -

then know that you're a good person. you care, you empathize, and above all you try to help.

never doubt your goodness. you're a star ✨

[waterlikequotes]

source: @/sa.liine

[enii]

I hope you never forget how much I love you💕

[ur-lil-flo]

i don't know who needs to hear this, but you're doing great, and you'll win in that internal battle no one knows about. you're a warrior, not a victim. you're not struggling with mental issues, they're struggling with you. you've come so far, you've done so much, and i'm very proud of you. keep going <3

[marimeiastories]

It is difficult to open up about something that should have not happened.

It’s going to be worth it, in the end.

The pain, the shame, the sadness will all come out, you’ll feel breathless, but darling, it’s not going to kill you, I promise, you will see, for sure.

It’s going to hunt you, in your dream, in your head, for a while.

You are going to cry, you are going to scream, you warrior.

It’s going to be a long journey, but I know you can do it.

You will feel lighter, you will feel less lonely, and, more importantly, you will start to heal

Please be brave, brace yourself and SPEAK UP.