#mentality

[queerism1969]

[positivityadvocate]

[csuitebitches]

Going From a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset

Lesson #1: growth is not linear. You will not improve drastically overnight. As I’ve stressed this before, things take time and consistency and concentration.

A fixed mindset is basically a belief that the person you’re born as - your intelligence and talent - are fixed. They cannot be changed, no matter what.

Science has shown that this is not true. It’s 100% possible to get smarter over time and with dedicated effort.

This is what a growth mindset is - believing that you can be better over time, and that your current level of intelligence and talent is temporary.

People with fixed mindsets are insecure, and it shows. Fear of failure; taking constructive criticism to heart; feelings of jealousy when someone they know is doing well… we’ve all known a person like this, and been this person ourselves at some point in our life.

Growth mindset is therefore the opposite but the effects are as grounding; it can help battling anxiety, depression, burnout issues, behavioural issues and so on.

I understand that a lot of you don’t have people in your life with a similar mentality of personal growth. I’m therefore reopening my Discord. My followers can meet, connect and help each other out.

Now, how does one transition from a fixed to a growth mindset?

Here are some things I think could help:

1. Detaching yourself from the definition of failure

If you’ve already decided the outcome of a certain situation without even trying, then you’re still stuck in a fixed mindset. Things like “there’s no point in me applying for that job because I don’t have the skills and I won’t get it anyway” - applying for that job wouldn’t hurt, even if you don’t get it. Stop limiting your opportunities that you never know could actually work out. A growth mindset person will always try to make most of the opportunities they have.

2. Not getting attached to any outcomes

Don’t get attached to favourable or unfavourable outcomes. When something goes well, have gratitude in your heart but don’t let it get to your ego. Life is about constantly learning. Don’t get attached to compliments and don’t get disheartened by criticism.

3. Actively working on yourself

You can learn a language at any age. You can start learning how to dance or sing or ride a horse at any age, if you’re doing it for the pleasure of learning (getting into competitive stages could be challenging if you’re not young). Someone who works on themselves has a growth mindset.

4. Stop self depreciating yourself

If I see one more IG bio that says “I’m so boring uwu” I will literally throw hands. Stop talking shit about yourself. Classic fixed mindset case. It’s childish and people pleasing behaviour.

5. Stop the comparison game

Stop resenting the people around for the good work they do in their life/ if their life is easy. We all have our challenges, whether we show them publicly or not. The more you work on your inner peace and inner self, the less you’ll feel the need to compare yourself to someone else. Jealousy is a disease and a sign of a fixed mindset.

6. Appreciate and thank yourself for being you.

If you’re nice to your mum, siblings, friends when they need your support… you can be nice to yourself too. Growth mindset does not come from berating yourself.

7. Recognise mistakes and take accountability

Admitting that you’re wrong is never easy. However, I’ll always have respect for someone who can admit that they messed up, rather than someone who will make up stories to justify their antics.

8. Provide yourself with at least 3 productive self-care hours a week

Self care here doesn’t mean skin care or hair care. I mean brain care. You feed your brain good things that it needs to stay calm and ever-growing.

These could include: brain games, mediation, a hobby, watching an educational documentary, doing a short online course, reading… anything that’s good for your brain.

9. Stop being a chameleon

Have you ever met those sort of people who will do anything to fit in? It could adopting that group’s mannerisms, thought processes, opinions… now, to an extent, that is normal and subtle. However, when it starts going too far to a point where you can’t be yourself anymore, thats a problem. In my opinion, that’s an example of not being able to practice your growth mindset publicly.

Privately, you may be growth oriented - but it needs to reflect in your words and actions. If you’re holding yourself back in doing certain things because you’re afraid of what other friends will think of you, you need better friends. Embrace people who have a growth mentality.

10. Using social media for better purposes

I made a separate Instagram account where I only follow educational stuff - think history, geography, arts and architecture, science, tech, business - and absolutely no people. It’s my way of using social media to ensure I learn more. Social media may be the devil, but you can be smart and alter it to your purposes, to give you that kick that you need to educate yourself.

[akasmileygirl]

Probably as much tea as we're gonna get.

[fvckinsociety]

I want to kill myself.

That's it. That's the post.

[joytri]

Oh, to persist at all costs...

[classycookiexo]

[drachenengel]

[elicathebunny]

MIRROR WORK + AFFIRMATIONS -

BASED ON 21 DAYS TO MASTER AFFIRMATION BY LOUISE HAY.

Mirror Work was a method originally developed by inspirational teacher Louise Hay as a way of getting in touch with the inner self. The primary purpose of mirror work is to develop self-love, self-care, and a more meaningful relationship with others. - Loner wolf

"The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life."

The principles of mirror work:

Use affirmations that feel authentic to you

Dedicate at least two minutes every day

Do mirror work in private so that you aren’t disturbed (or feel the need to keep your guard up)

It’s okay to feel emotional – let yourself feel whatever comes up

Keep a journal where you record any notable experiences

"The more you use mirrors for complimenting yourself, approving of yourself, and supporting yourself during difficult times, the deeper and more enjoyable your relationship with yourself will become."

Affirmations

What are they?

The practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment

"Affirmations are anything you say or think. A lot of what people normally say and think is quite negative and doesn’t create good

experiences. You have to retrain your thinking and speaking into positive patterns if you want to heal your life."

Examples of changing negative words from into positive affirmations:

I hate my body. BECOMES I love and appreciate my body.

I’m not creative. BECOMES I am discovering talents I did not know I had.

I’m stuck in a lousy job. BECOMES Wonderful new doors are opening for me all the time.

I’m not good enough. BECOMES I am in the process of positive change, and I deserve the best.

"When you catch a negative thought, just think to yourself: That is an old thought; I no longer choose to think that way. Then find a positive thought to replace it as quickly as you can."

Examples of affirmations to practice for self-love: - aldohappy

I am worthy of love, respect, and compassion.

I am deserving of happiness and success.

I am a strong and capable person.

I love myself

I am able to create the life I want.

I am beautiful, inside and out.

I am free to be myself.

I approve of myself

I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them

Find affirmations suited to your needs or create your own.

"Do this three or four hundred times a day, at least. No, it’s not too many times. When you are worrying, you go over your problem at least that many times."

"Give negative thoughts no importance. Just see them for what

they are—another way to keep you stuck in the past. Gently say to these thoughts, “I let you go; I approve of myself".

If you become hesitant about affirming affirmations, look within yourself and find the reasons why. Do you know?

Repeat and affirm positive affirmations to yourself with emotion. Don't just say the words for the sake of them. Really feel what you're saying and meditate on it. If you hate yourself and begin to affirm your love for yourself, really feel what that means to love and embrace yourself again.

[gent-illmatic]

No Wife, No kids.

I refuse to create a broken home or an incomplete family.Contrary to popular belief, men get shamed for not having children by a certain age too. In order for men to prove their “manhood” they’re expected to procreate sooner than later. People start to question your sexuality when you don’t have children as a man.Without a mention of being a husband first!Boys are groomed by society to be the little “heart breaker”, little player,etc. many men believe that’s the way to show up in society as a man.Men get the benefit of that logic because you get the legacy without the responsibility. Fuck shit to me! Especially when many of us were those very children abandoned. Yet, perpetuate that logic because you don’t have to exercise discipline and can claim it’s part of our nature.

However, I’m not out here trying to prove shit to these dysfunctional degenerates. Spreading seed and abandoning your responsibilities is NOT MASCULINE.

Similar to the perspective of women, why tf would I sign up to become a single father? It’s not a matter of “just having somebody to take care the kids” but the balance and quality of life our kids benefit from having us both.The TLC me and my wife can influence our kids with before they interact with a crazy world.Lessons only each of us can teach them;together!

If Im not married or on the road to marriage I refuse to have kids. I will still have a fulfilling life without them. I would actually be doing the planet a service in my opinion.

Some of you fellas need sexual discipline. Don’t hesitate to practice celibacy if you can’t control yourself and your urges. Don’t be that much of “a product of your environment”. That’s a cheap ass excuse to avoid accountability.

P.s having children is not a guarantee they will always take care of you. I’ve seen so many parents die alone in the medical field who had successful children. They didn’t even visit. You have to want to be a parent, not just have kids to avoid dying alone, or for legacy. I want twins though.🤗

-ꪊꪀᥴꪶꫀ ᛕꪖꪀꫀ🫡

[courtingwonder]

"If a person gave your body to any stranger he met on his way, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in handing over your own mind to be confused and mystified by anyone who happens to verbally attack you?"

—Epictetus (Greek stoic philosopher, 50-135)

[damnarchivess]

sometimes i see da shine at night.

[positivityadvocate]

[sprinkleofquirk]

Me: saying I must not be autistic because I don’t do the “t-Rex arms” thing

My therapist: checking off “black-and-white/all-or-nothing thinking” on my session notes

[thefemmation]

🎀 Femmation Fine Challenge 🎀

It's time to clear our minds and get in shape!

I want to open up a 60-day challenge that everyone can join in on.

Official start date: August 1st, 2023

Click here to join the Discord community

If you see this after the start date, please feel free to attempt the challenge and join the discord group!

Mental:

No social media (no *fun* accts, business is fine but don't abuse it)

No drinking

Reading at least 10 pages of any fun book.

Reading at least 5 pages of a self-help book and/or listening to a motivational podcast

30 minutes of outside time

Journaling before bed (can be done digitally or with paper/pencil)

Physical:

Running/walking 1-3 miles every day. Progression is key! If you cant start by running, then walk but you should aim to start running eventually. Listen to your body.

Doing a body workout at least 5x a week

Remaining in a calorie deficit (calorie surplus if you are focused on gaining weight)

Cup of spearmint/peppermint tea before bed

Cup of Pure Cranberry Juice

Social:

No clubbing or similar social settings (birthdays/holidays are fine)

Starting a meaningful conversation with two strangers a week. This typically works best while doing hobbies so you guys have a common ground (ex. the gym/ whole foods/running). Don't force it and make it weird... if someone seems uninterested, leave it alone.

No entertaining men who DO NOT MAKE YOU A PRIORITY. If you've ever had to ask yourself "Does he like me?", leave him alone.

Stop talking to ANYONE you get bad vibes from (friends AND family) as much as you can.

This challenge is meant to push you but do not feel bad if you are not able to follow every single guideline. Work with what YOU have and do what YOU can. I tried to keep everything pretty much free, outside of the pure cranberry juice and mint tea. A gym membership is optional and you can always get books at the library/youtube.

+ I will be sending recommendations for podcasts/meals/books/etc on the discord chat... I encourage you to do the same.

I know it seems like a lot but trust me, if you are consistent... YOU WILL SEE RESULTS.

Starting in August, I will be filming the challenge on youtube if you are looking for extra motivation.

The Femmation on youtube

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. Please reach out to your doctor before attempting this challenge.