i think no matter what i do, ill always be this way forever
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Literally rotting away in my room 24/7. I don't have the mental capacity for anything but just laying in bed all day all night being fucking miserable. I want to get better but getting better seems so daunting and exhausting that I can't even be bothered to try.
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did you hold me knowing you were going to let me go?
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i’m tired of being too insane to have friends. i’m convinced every move i make is the wrong one and it’s just another thing my friends will one day use against me and abandon me over. i wish i could trust them because i know logically that they’re good people, but every time i screw up i can’t help but wonder when they’re going to tell me what a disgusting person i am. i wish they would just leave already so we could get it over with. i wish for one fucking second i could be somebody’s first choice so i wouldn’t have this fear. because if i was the first and i was the favorite then maybe they’d think twice before moving on from me.
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