#mention of infertility

[imagineurmom]

I saw these and knew what I need to do

Original images if anyone cares + goofy ass Wallace face

[frownyalfred]

i was talking to my friend about asoh, particularly how kryptonian insemination is 100% fertile like,

"Bruce is probably infertile"

Clark's sperm: And I took that personally

PFFFT LITERALLY HOW IT WENT.

Bruce: well I’m not worried about the heat, after all these black market suppressants I’m definitely infertile

Lex:

[amberjazmyn]

so much blood 💔

pairing : daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

summary : daniel's wife, alessandra, at a grand prix, suffers from an awfully traumatic late misarriage at five months, right at the 24-week mark where it's considered a stillbirth. the ricciardo's had been trying for children for ages when she miscarries their baby in the bathroom after bleeding profusely before the wags find her. 

warnings :  mentions of miscarriage, blood, tears, hospital, angst, infertility

a/n :  i have already written this multiple times and now i wanted to write it for danny ric. unlike the character in this one-shot, i have never (thankfully) experienced a miscarriage/ectopic pregnancy/ stillbirth etc, however, i do know people who have gone through that and it's soul-destroying. however, this does not mean by any means that i am glorifying or positively promoting the physical and mental tolls that miscarriages have on families as it is awful and very traumatizing. this is just a thing of fiction that i have written with no intentional means to harm anyone. this will also be in lowercase because i just feel like it will set the tone if it's written in all lowercase

attending grand prix's with the rest of the f1 grid was most probably alessandra ricciardo's, the wife of daniel ricciardo, favourite thing to do. especially now that she was carrying the beautiful baby that was going to be her and daniel's future baby and that was what made the australian grand prix all the more special for everyone. however, recently, alessandra had been having some painful and strange cramp-like pains in her stomach and back however, she had just been disregarding them because she didn't want to put more fuel in the fire of her fears of having a potential miscarriage coming true. and besides, the pains hadn't been too extreme that it required looking into so, alessandra just didn't think to mention it to her midwife. especially considering if this baby was to miscarry, it wouldn't be alessandra's first one either. it wasn't new news that the ricciardo's had been trying for ages, since their wedding in 2012, to be parents and everytime they did try, it would always end in heartbreak so, after that, alessandra promised herself and daniel that she'd never ever try to fall pregnant again. that was, however, until they stopped actively trying and one day that alessandra felt similar symptoms, she decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. and it came out positive which brought alessandra and daniel so much excitement that maybe all they had to do was just to not try so hard. all alessandra wanted for years was to manifest a positive, healthy, stress-free pregnancy for herself and her husband. and, as of right now, it seemed as if everything in alessandra's pregnancy was going exceptionally for her now that she had finally reached the fifth month and didn't pursue the same symptoms that she did when she'd never get past the actual pregnancy test saying anything but negative. and, to be completely honest, that knowledge that alessandra had healthily made it to the five-month mark in this pregnancy after so many negative and infertility issues just this past week gave her so much comfort and solace. because it meant that she really was going to be able to give her husband everything he had ever dreamt to have and that was to have a child with the love of his life. 

whilst alessandra, the wags, alexandra, kelly, carola, francisca and daniel's sister michelle were on their way to the garages where they were going to be watching their drivers. but, it was on their walk to their separate garages that they couldn't help but bring up the conversation of baby ricciardo and whether or not they had come up with names just yet.

"---so, whilst you look divine being pregnant, alessandra, have you guys come up with names for baby ric yet?" carola, checo's wife asks as alessandra giggled whilst alex, francisca, kelly and sister-in-law michelle smiled at each other as alessandra rubbed the tiny five-month bump

"uhh, nah, not really. i don't think we're personally focused on names just yet. i mean, i know i'm not, i of course, can't say the same about daniel but, all i know is that scotty and his girl know the gender so, i think that's what we're waiting for," alessandra spoke before the girls smiled, their eyes all focusing and sparkling at the baby bump 

"yeah, i think soctty's actually told me a couple of names he had been thinking about but, for now i think we're still calling the little cherub baby ric," michelle, daniel's sister chuckled as the other girls nod their heads and smile brightly as kelly speaks up 

"well, aless, no matter what gender baby ric is going to be, you and daniel will for sure come up with a beautiful name anyway," kelly coos as she rubbed her warm hand across alessandra's stomach, making the pregnant girl giggle softly due to the tickly sensation it gave her 

however though, maybe the amount of laughter she and the others were doing was not the smartest. a large shot of sharp pain sent shockwaves through the mother's entire body as if it was a giant period cramp. along with the strange feeling of nausea, which alessandra had not once been experiencing, she quickly and quietly excused herself from the wags and sister-in-law to the bathroom just outside of the backstage wings which was the accessible toilet, the only one that alessandra could use. 

💮

"...welcome to the australian grand prix, everyone! for our pre-race interviews, we have one of the australian greats, mr daniel ricciardo with us! hello daniel!" martin brundle and david crofty were interviewing the racers before the race, and it was currently daniel's interview

"hello martin and crofty! what a lovely little intro there, mate! how are we?" daniel smiles his signature smile and laugh as the two interviewers can't help but smile as well

"we're very well, thank you daniel! and we're glad you're doing well too. before we get into our interview questions about the race today, it's an even more special grand prix today isn't it but for different reasons, correct?" crofty asks this time as daniel nods his head - this was the first grand prix in a while that both ricciardo's were attending together

"yes, that is very true, crofty. this is an even more special grand prix for me today. even though home races are special, it's even more special for me this time because my beautiful wife, alessandra, is with me today which has been a long time coming..." daniel trails off, not wanting to blurt out the news straight away

"...it has been a long time coming, we've all missed seeing the lovely mrs alessandra ricciardo in the paddock! and now she's back, is it true that maybe, just maybe, there's some news you'd like to share with us before we go any further?" martin asks as daniel chuckles at the interviewers - and thankfully, he had been given permission by his wife to announce it

"yes, there is some news and that news is that alessandra and i are having a baby!" daniel announces as crofty and martin smile sweetly at the driver as they then see alessandra and give her a wave

"wow, that is amazing news! congratulations daniel and to alessandra as well! we had heard you guys had been trying to get pregnant for a while, correct?" crofty asks, the two interviewers no longer caring about the actual interview - they just wanted to hear more about baby ric

"yeah, correct. me and alessandra had been trying for what felt like forever and now, we've finally gotten pregnant which is exciting and we cannot wait to meet the little ric!" daniel giggles, his smile covering his entire face as martin and crofty share similar smiles on their own faces

then, the interview actually begun properly and daniel started getting asked the proper questions about the race. how he felt about it, whether or not he had trust and confidence that he'd do well. all that sort of stuff that was normally asked during a pre-race interview. alessandra watching in pure joy at the joy that stayed on her husband's face the entire interview after announcing their pregnancy. who wouldn't feel like that. alessandra for sure felt like she was on cloud nine over the child she would be giving birth to. however, throughout daniel's interview and the happiness of the baby announcement, fear started to spread through the paddock as michelle and kelly ran through the paddock to find someone from daniel's team so they could tell them that daniel was urgently needed at the garages in the paddock. 

the crowd enjoyed every moment of the first half of daniel's interview with martin and crofty until a member of vcarb ran up onto the mini stage, making the crowd in the stands make noises of confusion. smiling as best as he could and waving to the fans, the vcarb staff member made a beeline straight to daniel. grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to his side, daniel lowered his microphone, and the member started whispering something into daniel's ear so it wasn't heard by anyone else. which, for some strange reason made the crowd scream even louder. martin and crofty, with confused faces watched on as the duration of their interivew with daniel was starting to finish. but they still tried to keep the energy up from earlier by mumbling some crazy things under their breaths to keep the audience occupied. their faces of confusion turning into looks of concern as within seconds, daniel's face ran cold and paled, his head shooting up towards the vcarb staff.

dropping his microphone to the floor, originally meant for the makeshift table, daniel wasted no time in dashing off the stage in a flash of light. barely tilting his head at martin and crofty before leaving without even saying a word. the vcarb staff giving an apologetic look to the men before giving them looks of "it will be explained later".

martin then spoke up, "we are so sorry guys. everything right now is fine, daniel ricciardo driver of vcarb just needs to take care of something right now that has been classified as an emergency by his team. as of right now, crofty and i assure everyone that everything is okay and all parties involved are okay. we are not entirely sure when daniel will return for his interview but that's not important right now. so, we will just move on to our next interview whilst daniel takes care of what's happening out in the paddock," martin announces as crofty nods his head and they begin the attempt of continuing their pre-race interviews with the drivers

at hearing this announcement, the crowd, whilst shrouded in worry, still erupt into cheers as martin and crofty continue as best as they can. not even able to imagine in their heads of what the emergency that was going on in the paddock that had daniel sprinting over. and it wasn't like it was the first time that f1 commentators had to commentate and conduct interviews whilst tragedy's occur

💮

bursting out of the paddock and through the garages and hospitality rooms, not even paying attention to who may have been trying to calmly walk past doing their job, daniel demanded answers as to what was going on, especially due to the fact it was in regards to his wife, alessandra. then, suddenly, the only thing that rang through his ears was the sound of alessandra's screams and cries of desperation. 

kelly and now daniel's sister michelle were on the ground, desperately trying to coax alessandra to open the bathroom door but, not one single thing they were saying made the poor girl open the door.

standing straight off the floor the second the two girls saw daniel, kelly spoke up, "she's been there for fifteen to twenty minutes, michelle's made the call to 000, any minute they should be arriving," kelly was updating daniel, well, trying to as it seemed as if daniel was too fixated on trying to figure it out himself 

"what even happened?" daniel's usual calm tone of voice came out shakier, moving his ear to the door to see if he could figure out what was wrong, the things he heard was alessandra repeatedly saying "no" as she wept and let out small rounds of screeches to herself 

out of breath, with the same vcarb staff and the ricciardos' mum right beside her, francisca mumbled, "she still hasn't opened the door?" as kelly and michelle shook their heads as the vcarb staff and grace turned their attention to daniel who was looking for answers, which kelly gave to him 

"in all honesty daniel, we have no idea what exactly happened," kelly shrugged sadly, wishing she did know so she could help her best friends, "we were all having a sweet, nice conversation about baby ric and names and just having a right old laugh when alessandra just suddenly got up and excused hersel to the bathroom without another word. then, after it had been about four minutes, i got worried since she never spends longer than a minute in there when just before i could even knock on the door, i just heard her scream. she refuses to open the door for any of us, that was until i told your sister who ran over to grab someone from vcarb to grab you and then grace, so, sorry for having to grab you from your interview but, maybe, for you, danny, she'll open it?" 

daniel shook his head at kelly's apology for making him leave the stage during an interview with brundle and crofty as he took in a deep breath before leaning his forhead against the metallic, cold bathroom door, "aless? babe, it's just me, could you please open the door?" 

no response. not even a noise of acknowledgement. 

breathing in again, daniel tried a second time, "alessandra, please, can you open the door for me?" he tried to keep his voice as calm as he could but, how could he? his wife was potentially injured whilst pregnant with their baby and he had no clue what to do to help her 

a few seconds went past of pure silence that really worried the group, and made them hold their breath until a shaky, wet breath was heard on the other side of the door, "i...i can't daniel, please, go...go away! there's...there's so...so mu...much!" the girl sobbed out in utter terror and distress, her vocal cords breaking 

daniel tried his hardest to not curse, both under his breath and loudly. deciding to try again, he knew he needed to get to his wife and see what was wrong so he could help her, "babe, aless, if you're near the door, you need to move back," once again, no response from alessandra suggesting that she had moved away from the door 

then, taking the slim chance that he was right and his wife did move out of the way, as his sister, mum, kelly, francisca and vcarb staff watched on in fear, daniel jutted his right foot towards the bathroom door, his boot kicking it open completely. flying open immediately, the door revealed a scene that was beyond anything that everyone had imagined they'd be seeing. well, in all honesty, they had no clue whatsoever as to what they expected to see behind that bathroom door but, it certainly didn't involve all of this blood.

blood was absolutely everywhere, not only was alessandra surrounded and somehow sitting in it, there was blood all over her arms and some in her hair, legs and face due to her most likely panicking and hugging herself to self-regulate and comfort herself into a calm enough state. with no care in the world for his paddock outfit, only stripping off the first layer that he was wearing, and throwing out everything in his pockets chucking them aimlessly at vcarb staff, who caught them, the only thing that clicked into daniel's brain was to comfort his wife. dropping to his knees, he messily slid over through the blood and to the toilet bowl where alessandra was resting, her body rocking with sobs as he pulled her in for a hug, blood being transferred from her to him in an instant. her hands rested at her side limply, her chin resting on daniel's shoulder as her sobs shook both of their bodies. daniel was mortified, i mean, he had no idea that someone so small and petite as his wife could have this much blood rush out of them. esepecially when she's currently pregnant. 

"i'm so sorry dan," alessandra whispered out ever so quietly to the point where daniel could barely hear it, not that she needed to apologise at all anyway 

grace, michelle, vcarb staff, francisca and kelly looked in, noticing everything that had happened and instantly, tears all welled in their eyes. ushering everyone out, grace gave one last look to her son and daughter-in-law before she also left the two of them so they could have a moment alone before the paramedics arrived. 

"and why are you apologising, alessandra?" daniel whispered as he rocked his wife back and forth, kissing the side of her cheek that wasn't covered in blood, his arms wrapped securely around his distraught wife 

"baby..." was all alessandra could at first whisper, which confused daniel

"...baby? what do you mean baby, aless, what's happened, babe?" daniel pushed for some more answers as alessandra's face screwed as she closed her eyes and shook her head, tears waterfalling down her face as she refused to talk about what had just happened

daniel hugged his wife tighter, not just to comfort her but also to let her know that he wouldn't get mad or lash out over whatever it was that she wasn't telling him. even if it did have something to do their child. he just wanted to be told what had happened so he could help his wife. 

finally, with reluctance and shame for herself, alessandra once again whispered it out, "...the baby, i...i lost the baby..." no loud sobs followed from her mouth after she revealed her stillbirth as daniel felt a switch get turned off whilst another one got turned on and his eyes filled with tears 

"...oh, oh aless! i am so sorry baby!" daniel whispered as he pulled his wife closer to him, his lips smooshed against her light blonde hair as his breath hitched as he felt his own tears leave his eyes as he closed them tightly 

the husband and wife sat on the bloodied up bathroom floor for what felt like hours whilst the pre-race fun continued in and around the paddock of albert park, melbourne before paramedics ran through the hallways of the vcarb garage before reaching the ricciardo's and the rest of the wags. in a strange way, relief flooded daniel's body hearing the pitter patters of the feet rushing through the hallways towards him and his wife. subconsciously, even though he didn't know too much about first aid, he knew from the way his wife was scrunching her body up in pain that this was good timing for the paramedics to have their arrival. it looked as if the foetus was still inside of alessandra and that she'd need surgery to have it medically removed so nothing negative or dangerous would happen to alessandra like an infection. the bloody scene that the paramedics had to witness as they walked in was not a friendly shock to the system at all and it was something they could never get used to, even as veteran paramedics. seeing this much blood as a paramedic, especially if their patient is a pregnant woman, was never good news, never. 

💮

daniel picked up alessandra and placed her on the gurney, unable to move as he just stood there as the paramedics wheeled away his wife to the ambulance. the hype and excitement from the pre-race festivities inside almost teased him with the lights flashing and joyful screams as his thoughts were then interrupted by the male paramedic, "excuse me, sir, would you like to come and ride with us? i presume you're alessandra's husband?" 

turning around to face the man, daniel gulped, "umm, yes, i am alessandra's husband, daniel ricciardo but uh, no, hold on, i need to at least get changed out of my clothes and clean myself up a bit, i'll meet you guys there as soon as i can though if that's okay," 

the fifty-ish year old paramedic nodded his head, telling daniel the name of the hospital they were sending his wife to, making sure grace was going with her so she wouldn't wonder later on why she was left all alone. the ambulance then took off with his wife and mum when daniel was finally alone and he felt himself walking back inside into the vcarb garage, his brain completely turned off, having no clue what to do or what to even think at this point in time. all he could do was find himself walking back into the bloodied bathroom where he found his wife, the blood staring back at him like it was teasing him for not just his and alessandra's loss but also the rest of his family's, especially since it hadn't really been that long since they stopped actively trying for kids. and finally, the sobs he had been swallowing back for the sake of his wife just released from his body in violent convulsions, completely overwhelming him and his ability to stand. he then tried to shake, wipe and flick away the blood that was covering the majority of his body from his legs to his upper chest, not stopping until he felt himself being grabbed that he realised that for the last couple of minutes, max verstappen had been calling out his name, lando norris and carlos sainz not that far behind max. 

daniel's raw, bloodshot, puffy eyes met up with max, lando and carlos' worried ones, "...hey, daniel, hey!" 

not a second longer went by before daniel collapsed into max's slightly shorter frame and tries to quieten his painful sobs into the blonde's shirt. taken aback not just by shock but also physically, having to catch not just himself but also daniel, max doesn't hesitate to tighten his arms around the shaking, sobbing, bloodied-up daniel as he holds him tightly. encouraging the older driver to continue to cry over the emergency that still no one knew about.

"that's it daniel, yeah, ssh, that's it. let it all out buddy, it's going to be okay, you'll be fine..." 

💮

...daniel had just incoherently tried to explain to max, lando and carlos about the emergency that had happened backstage that caused him to miss the rest of his pre-race interview with brundle and crofty. with the other three struggling to understand what had happened, they looked at each other with confusion, worry and uncertainty rushing their bloodstreams. urging for daniel to take a few more breaths before trying again, was the moment in which kelly and francisca had walked in on the drivers trying to comfort their fellow driver. 

that was when, with some encouragement, kelly came forward and explained to the other three boys what had happened, "max, what daniel's trying to say is, alessandra was hanging out with us and daniel's sister, we were laughing and blabbering on about what the baby would be called when out of nowhere, alessandra just quietly excused herself, rushing away into the bathroom. four minutes later, after i became worried since aless is never in there for longer than a minute, i went to check on her when before i could even reach the door handle, i just heard her scream and refuse to open the door. that was when we got michelle and francisca to get someone from vcarb to grab daniel from his interview and grace from her seat in the vip area and then, that was when we came to the realisation that alessandra had gone into stillbirth, the...the baby's gone..." kelly's voice faltered at the end as daniel let out a sob as max held him tighter, lando and carlos both closing their eyes as tears filled their eyes 

covering his mouth with his hand, lando softly spoke up, "...oh, aless...where is she and grace? have they gone to the hospital?" lando's voice also faltered as kelly nodded her head, confirming something that she knew daniel couldn't do himself 

"yeah, lando, hun, the paramedics found out that the baby was still inside alessandra so, she's been sent into surgery to give birth to the baby. because if the baby isn't removed, the baby wouldn't be the only one we could potentially lose," kelly sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeve as max once again squeezed daniel tightly as lando gestured to carlos to say that they should go over and help max comfort daniel 

and, without another word, lando and carlos squeezed themselves into daniel and max's hug as they all, max included, started to cry together over the loss of what would have been another f1 grid baby. the wags, kelly and francisca, and daniel's sister michelle, also overcome with emotion, then also joined in on the hug as they all cried together and grieved together before they realised that they had left daniel's mum all alone with alessandra. 

but, before they left, max whispered one last thing before they broke the group hug, "...it's gonna be okay, we'll be fine..." 

💮

now that it was well known within the paddock of melbourne's albert park that alessandra had just been wheeled out by paramedics to the hospital. the rest of the pre-race festivities that involved daniel and vcarb specifically was cancelled which meant that ultimately, the race would be delayed. the drivers couldn't even think about driving at this moment when they knew their fellow racer and teammate needed them. all of them going to the hospital alongside their wife/girlfriend. so, within minutes, everyone, except for one, had all changed from their paddock outfits and rushed out of the race circut to one of the vans of vcarb's to get to the hospital that daniel had been told that alessandra had been transported to. 

however, this whole time, daniel's weeping didn't stop. at this point, he was wailing like a dying animal, he was so devastated. what was more devastating was this was the first time his fellow racers had seen daniel really break down and cry. and that was what broke their hearts the most because they all knew that all daniel ever wanted to be in this life was a dad and just as he was four or so months away from becoming one, the baby passes away. and before max got into the car with daniel and lando, max realised that daniel still hadn't gotten changed and was still holding his clean clothes. 

so, to calm their distraught teammate and get him out of his bloodied clothes, lando this time speaks up, "hey, dan, come on, look at me, alright?" pushing him away, daniel still does what he's told and makes eye contact with lando

"whilst this sounds like utter bullshit and you have full permission to smack me for saying this, everything will eventually be okay. you, alessandra and your whole family will recover from this and all of us getting in this car and waiting at that hospital will help you guys out. and eventually, alessandra will give birth to the most precious little baby ever but, right now, you need to get changed and back into this car so we can get to that goddamn hosptial because out of everyone here right now, alessandra needs you, your mum & sister needs you and you need your mum, sister and your wife!" wiping his tears away, daniel nodded his head, agreeing with his best friend and teammate

but not before looking down and realising, lando was right, daniel did forget to get changed out of his now dried-up bloodied paddock outfit, he spoke up, "oh shit, you're right, i...i'll go and get changed, i'll be back..." daniel hushed out as he wiped his tears away and rushed back into the paddock so he could get changed 

whilst that type of moment, one of his teammates forgetting to get changed would normally be hilarious, this time it pierced through lando's heart, it smacked carlos across the face and it just broke max's heart to see how distressed and inconsolable daniel had been that he had simply forgotten to get out of his bloodied up paddock outfit this entire time whilst everyone else had done so before walking to the vcarb van. daniel then took those sweet few seconds as he stripped himself of his bloodied paddock outfit and into a clean, comfy set of sweat pants and a white t-shirt along with a pair of slippers. double-checking he had everything he needed and that he hadn't forgotten anything else this time, he made his way back out of the arena and to the van where everyone was waiting inside. lando waiting outside for him as they then made their way to the hospital to alessandra and grace. 

💮

alessandra couldn't believe that she could get so excited about finally getting pregnant after struggling so much with infertility to only, in the span of what was only a few months, have her body fail her. all she wanted to do was to give her husband and herself a goddamn family and she was so close to doing so as well. at this point, the grief of all the other negative results and heartbreaking infertility appointments was practically gone because she knew it wasn't her fault and she had just accepted that it was now normal for her to lose a baby. however, knowing that this specific baby, she had allowed herself and daniel to get so excited about because it was the one and only time that they hadn't actively tried to get pregnant just made her grief the worst it had ever been. she felt like she had once again failed daniel since she couldn't accomplish the one goddamn thing that women were practically put on this earth to do. all her husband ever wanted was a goddamn child and she couldn't even give him that. 

waking up from her surgery, the girl was drowsy and for a moment forgot where she was when she heard the familiar voice of her mother-in-law, grace, "...hey darling, you're awake, i'll get the nurse-" 

"-grace, where...where's dan? i...i need to apologise to him, and...and to you! i need to apologise to you! i am so sorry grace! i didn't mean to lose the baby i-" 

"-hey, hey, no, aless! we won't be doing this, not today! you have got absolutely nothing to apologise for! no one is blaming you for the loss of you and daniel's baby! i don't blame you, daniel doesn't blame you, no one blames you alessandra! it is not your fault at all! you had no control nor any idea that this was to happen! don't you dare blame yourself for something that is out of your control!" grace stressed as alessandra timidly nodded her head, still feeling awful but less heavy now that she truly felt reassured that it wasn't her fault - that is until she saw her husband 

"do you know when dan will get here?" alessandra then timidly asked her mother-in-law as grace sighed, she could tell that alessandra was trying to stop her from getting the nurse 

"no, i don't darling but, i really need to tell a nurse that you're awake so, can i please inform one of the nurses that you're awake?" grace smiled softly as alessandra timidly nodded her head as that sent a shiver of relief down grace's spine

"thank you, aless, and dan shouldn't be too far away and neither should the rest of the lads drivers and wags since they will have also been made aware. now, i'll be back in a couple of seconds, a minute tops, behave!" grace winked at the end as alessandra breathed out a laugh with a small head nod as she rested her head against the wall of the hospital behind her whilst she waited

💮

by the time daniel and everyone else had arrived at the hospital and was allowed access to his wife's hospital room, she had already had the surgical procedure she needed to remove the deceased foetus. even though she knew that her husband had walked into the hospital room, she couldn't even bear to look up and make eye contact with him. especially with the knowledge that the stillborn had also been wheeled into the room for the husband and wife to meet the baby, she couldn't even bring it within herself to even breathe the same air as him even though she knew she'd eventually have to otherwise she'd alert the doctors and nurses. it ripped daniel apart knowing that not only did alessandra have to go through the surgery alone since grace isn't considered "immediate family" but that she was so ashamed of herself that she couldn't even look him nor the baby in the eye. 

"...please aless, baby, say something, just anything." daniel whispered out in a teary beg to his wife as she slowly but nervously lifted her head up, finally looking her husband in the eyes as she finally noticed just how hard this had also been for her husband and therefore everyone else 

"i...i...i tried so hard for anything but this to happen..." alessandra whimpered out in a whisper as daniel choked, not able to say a single thing as he swiftly moved over to the bed, hugging his wife as they cried together 

then, they moved from the hug and wheeled the cot over to them so they could meet their baby for the first time...

...the baby that was going to be their little baby girl if she hadn't been born still...

max, lando and carlos all cried as they watched their teammate and wife grieve over the loss of what would have been the new f1 grid baby. 

"...we were going to have a baby girl danny..." 

"...our precious little princess, aless..." 

fin

very depressing i know but hey, it's what i do best when i don't have any original ideas, i just go back to the depressing old ideas and just change it to whoever it's been adapted to. 

[jaggedjot]

Three decades of loneliness and heartache, yet Claudia never asked whether Louis would make her an immortal companion. There are no idle musings about the possibility in her diaries, she did not tentatively suggest it to Louis after his recovery, and the question does not underlie the resentful silences between the pair in wartorn Europe. Claudia pleads with both of her parents to understand why she needs someone outside of them (“Who am I supposed to love? You two have each other. Who's my Lestat? Who's my Louis?”), but Lestat is the only one she beseeches to make another vampire. Even though this desire drives Claudia to repeatedly attempt to turn strangers herself (“Boy from Ponchatoula. Boy from Hollygrove. Boy with the bow tie out in Algiers.”), navigate a warzone in the hopes of meeting “just one” other vampire, and promise herself to the coven despite the clear danger, she seemingly never once asked Louis. And while there are many reasons that Claudia, as well as Louis, did not try to have Louis make anyone before Madeleine, the absence of that question is both conspicuous and damning.

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

The thing about TERF ideology that I hate the most is that it's just repackaged misogyny. Newsflash dumbass, reducing someone's entire self worth to whether or not they can push a baby out is not "empowering" or "reclaiming womanhood" it's just plain old fashioned misogyny.

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whump Prompt #1251

Submitted by Anon - thanks!

TW: infertility | nsfwhump | mentions of noncon

An AFAB whumpee really wants kids and has done for ages. Thus image the trauma when after being recused from their kidnapping, they discover they were made infertile from the torture Whumper inflicted - incidentally their dreams of starting a family are ripped apart from them.

Alternatively: AFAB Whumpee instead discovers they are pregnant post recuse - but to their horror it's Whumpers kid. Now Whumpee has to live with the fact Whumper has such control over Whumpee that they control their deepest desire.

[deathsbestgirl]

@alexmacc oh thank you!! this is a great question and i do want to preface it with i do not have any experience with infertility but i do have a lot of experience with illness & doctors. i think it's completely understandable to dislike this arc for any reason. and i'm sure the writers don't really know what they're talking about when it comes to science. but like. this is a sci-fi show and i'm not looking for accuracy. anyway, i personally kind of love it. i can't help but look at this show in "good faith." especially mulder & scully specifically.

(also!! there are spoilers that go into season 7&8)

to me, the foundation of the x files is mulder's trauma surrounding losing samantha but the journey of it is through scully's trauma. we experience hers in real time. and this one is deeply personal & relatable, like her cancer. not being able to have children is devastating, the language surrounding infertility is painful. (although i can never remember if infertility was clear at this point — when he found her ova, or in emily.) scully thought about having kids, at one point she didn't think she was cut out for it, it was a distant hope & possibility. i don't think she truly dreamt of having the typical family life beyond the way she sometimes tried to fit society's ideal, the way she had it drilled into throughout her life. but i think she always thought she would have kids eventually. she loves kids, i think she loved having siblings, she loves & values family. mulder's love & dedication to samantha is something that attracted her to him.

in memento mori, when mulder learns that scully's ova is taken from her...she's dying, going through treatment in the hospital that's making her sicker by the day. i don't think mulder could bear giving her that news, not after learning in home that she does want kids. not after her abduction, losing melissa, her cancer. so he waits. and then his hand is forced when scully finds emily and learns she's her biological daughter. scully's hurt that mulder didn't tell her, but i don't think she really faults him for it. she can barely handle the information now, learning it while she had cancer...i can't imagine it, idk how you carry that when you're dying. i don't know how you can fit that in your brain, in your grief when she's about to leave behind her family and mulder. in a way, it doesn't matter when you're dying, but she's never been able to face her abduction and she's being forced to. mulder tries to help her, encourages her to at least talk to the mufon women as an investigator if she can't handle it on a personal level. (the way her voice cracks several times in these conversations. when she says they're not all dead. scully doesn't want to believe she's dying either.) (she calls him first for a reason, she tells skinner with mulder at her side for a reason, she apologizes to skinner for making it awkward/uncomfortable...)

what makes me love it is that...mulder calls what happened to scully medical rape. he yells it at emily's doctor, demanding he help emily, rightly accusing him of malpractice, calling him & anyone involved medical rapists. and that's exactly what they are. they conduct these tests on people, steal women's ova, and use them & their children for more experiments. giving life to these children for the express purpose of experimenting on them, and ultimately killing them or letting them die. it's so sick & twisted & inhumane and you want to believe it unrealistic...but it isn't.

i just think that's really powerful. it's painfully real. it's something doctors & the government have done. and the x files so rarely calls things exactly what they are. mulder directly calling it medical rape — and once again, not forcing scully to confront it until she's ready & it's on her terms — this is a big reason i can't hate it.

i love mulder in emily. he walks into that room, sees scully with emily. sees scully's cross around her neck. he's terrified. he doesn't want scully to be hurt again, and he's afraid that's exactly what's in store for her. he knows emily wasn't born to be loved, to live. she's an experiment to this government conspiracy, a means to an end. but mulder will always do what scully asks of him, and he goes into that meeting determined to convince this judge scully deserves to be with her daughter. he lays out the facts he has, and the judge has a hard time believing it but emily is undeniably her biological daughter. the dna tests prove it.

the way mulder says everything is important too. there's no precedent for case like this. scully had her ova stolen, she can no longer have children. but somehow, unbeknownst to scully until now, emily exists. and scully wants her. it's wrong to keep them apart, to take this chance from scully, to deny this little girl a mother who loves her after she's lost the only parents she knows. scully found emily and she stayed and she fights. she learns about her illness, makes sure she gets the medical care she needs, and does everything she can to find & understand the cause so she can help her. they describe emily as having special needs because of her condition, her "illness."

scully is judged because she has an intense, time consuming, dangerous job. she hasn't had any recent long term serious relationships in the eyes of the law & adoption agency. she's single and how would she take care of emily on her own? at one point, mulder is mistaken for emily's father and he turns away. scully takes it on alone, but she isn't alone. mulder really is there every step of the way. he would do anything for scully, and he would do anything for emily. it's so painful that they can't have this. mulder finds a cure, supposedly anyway. but scully tells him she won't put emily through more tests & pain & experiments. emily wanted it all to stop, and her parents were killed because they were going to stop. scully was prepared to let emily go as peacefully & comfortably as she could. so mulder didn't tell her. another decision i don't think was easy. it wouldn't have ended. even if emily was cured, she wouldn't have been allowed to stay in scully's care. the reality of courts & the conspiracy.

in per manum, we learn scully went to doctors to treat her infertility. once she had her ova, she brought them to a doctor and in vitro might work. and she asks mulder to be her donor. another crazy, beautiful layer to their relationship. scully wouldn't want a random donor, and there's no one she loves more, trusts more than mulder. despite what he hid from her in a futile attempt to protect her. (again, i don't think she really faults him. she almost never does. it's just painful. painful that he would hide anything from her, especially something about herself. but they both know very well how scully struggles to face what's happened to her, and everything goes back to her abduction.) protecting each other is what they do, they just have different methods sometimes. and i don't think there's a way to know what's right until consequences smack you in the face. it's easy to objectively say something is wrong when you aren't the person dealing with the situation, or in hindsight. it's always more complicated when you're facing it in the moment.

like. i just can't hate it when it gives us so many incredible moments. the vulnerability, the gentleness, the compassion, the anger, the pain. it may all be wrapped up in an alien government conspiracy but the connection, the emotion, cancer & infertility, evil...it's all real. there's relief & catharsis, a freedom & safety. it gives a voice to things often buried. it's part of the beauty of the x files, to what mulder & scully do.

and then the reversal...well. i also love that but i'm gonna save it for my william arc post.

[awkadoodledoo]

TW: I want to be a mother and it isn't going so great (I'm making this long to avoid saying the words that also personally trigger me)

.

.

I had a pap smear done today. I had labs drawn again. I have to schedule an ultrasound appointment. All tests that have been done since I turned 15 and I first realized there was a problem. And then I had to go to work, even though it hurt. They tell you pap smears aren't supposed to because your cervix doesn't have nerve endings or whatever, but it does and then it's this dull twingy ache that stays with you.

I had to go to work and smile and try to do my job like I've been doing everyday since my biology failed me. As I was babysitting three children I adore while I was losing my own because I couldn't cancel so last minute.

I used to have this whole mindset about how it shouldn't be shameful and should be openly discussed. It was so incredibly and arrogantly naive of me. I can't even say the word now, how am I supposed to talk about it? I haven't even told my parents and I don't even know which friends I told because the past two months have been a blur. It's not this shameful secret I'm trying to keep hush hush, it was a painful event...but how would I even bring it up to start?

It was barely anything, gone before I even knew it existed. I was losing it as I realized that I had something to lose. And it was so wanted.

[gorelesbian]

was discussing children with my friends and one friend goes "we'd probably adopt cause with our genes we'd 100% pass down adhd or autism to the poor kid" and another friend goes "and? that's not so bad is it?" queen you have no fucking clue. i'd rather shoot myself in the head right now than doom an innocent child with my disordered genes

[onepinkline]

I don’t know when pregnancy loss stops hurting.

It didn’t at their due date, or the one year mark of having their presence in my life. It didn’t at the first “birth” day, or second, or fifth.

It didn’t when I got pregnant with their sibling. It didn’t when I lost them, too.

It hasn’t on those random Tuesdays, when I’m hit with the sudden grief that I never heard them cry.

It hasn’t every Mother’s Day, every Christmas wondering how different it would’ve been than the last, when the school year starts and I realize they’d be off to Kindergarten.

When I pass the children’s activity center in the museum, and I wonder if they’d be eager to go in or shy because of the other kids.

I know it shouldn’t stop hurting. I tell my friends, your baby matters, I support other loss parents by reminding them your baby existed. I convince myself that mine do not. I close my eyes to see the images of the positive pregnancy tests and pretend that they never existed.

Coping, avoidance is (negatively) coping.

Someone, who was barely a something, can’t hurt this much. Maybe they never got to be my baby, but they were my dream. My future, love personified. Never anything tangible to attach it to, a vision of someday.

Someday left too soon, too soon to be tangible. Too soon to grieve. Too soon to understand. I was still processing that they existed, when they did not anymore.

I don’t know when pregnancy loss quits hurting.

I hope it never does, because it is the only reminder that I ever had them at all.

[rickktish]

Today my mom and I finished the 90’s superman TV show Lois and Clark and it’s a really great series and I think every superman fan ever should watch it because Henry Cavill has nothing on Dean Cain, but that’s not actually what this post is about. This post is about the fact that in a pre-Superboy Jon Kent world, the central arc of Clark Kent’s character was that he wanted a family of his own, and this culminates in (spoilers) the last episode being centered on the question of what to do about having kids since Clark’s biology is not compatible with humans’ for making babies, and my anthropology major brain couldn’t not analyze this through a gender/sexuality lens since I took a class all about the cultural impact of gender and media portrayals of it.

Here’s the thing: in the vast majority of media (I almost said western media but then I thought about it more and I think it’s actually pretty darn universal) infertility is a female plotline. It’s one of the few plots that is inherently feminine in nature because for so much of history we’ve viewed infertility as a woman’s concern. If a man and a woman can’t have a child, after all, it must be something wrong with her, right? (Ha. Ha. Ha. It’s not funny, actually.) But this means that this silly little superman show from the 90’s is portraying an infertility plot line, but the problem isn’t the female character’s fertility, it’s her husband’s. Except that since fertility is an “inherently” feminine plot line, we get almost no emotional impact of this news on Clark himself. Lois, after all, is the one who spent the second to last episode going through the question of whether or not she’s ready to have children and deciding that she is. It could perhaps be argued that this is because Clark has been ready for a while, because a family is all that he wants, but I think it’s also because the question of a working woman choosing to have a child is, culturally speaking, a very different question to a man choosing to have a child, and has been since women became acceptable in the work place.

Here’s my point though: Clark gets the news that he can’t reproduce with Lois, goes to talk to her, and ends up holding her as she mourns this loss of something they were hoping for. She doesn’t comfort him, except by coming up with actions they can take to try to get around their incompatible biology. Lois is the one who gets to mourn, while Clark continues to emphasize that they will be okay no matter what because they love each other. And all I could think about watching this was how removed Clark was from his own fertility. How completely separated he was from it. Because in spite of the issue being his fertility and not hers, Lois is the one who gets to have an emotional arc about it, because she is the woman in the story.

One of the solutions they come up with is to ask Lois’s father, who (in rare fashion) is not a general but instead a handy-dandy generalized “scientist,” to see if there’s anything he can come up with for them. In order to do so, though, they need to reveal to him that Clark is Superman. The whole scene where they’re trying to figure out how to tell him feels a little bit queer, because I can see a modern writer turning everything from it into a trans reveal instead of a secret identity, but that’s a little beside the point. The point is that still, at no point does Clark seem distressed for himself, but instead for how Lois feels about all this— up to and including the point about her mother’s lack of maturity meaning that she doesn’t feel safe telling her they’re trying to have a baby or that they’re facing infertility.

And from all this, somehow all I can think of is how far we’ve culturally removed men from power over their own fertility. It feels like the only things that get discussed on the news or in shows, up to and including the abortion issue, is women’s fertility. We rarely talk about giving men education about and control over their fertility, only women. Women’s bodies, women’s rights, but what about the fact that the men don’t seem to be attached enough to their own fertility to know or even consider what they can do to control it for themselves? I actually wonder if the requirement (historical or present, depending on where you live) for women to get permission from their husbands to get their tubes tied has more to do with men’s fertility than with their wives’, because in some ways it seems that the only control a man is offered over his own fertility in our culture is by exerting control over his wife. There’s an alienation between men and their ability to procreate that honestly baffles me now that I’ve thought about it. It’s separated from them by their relationship with their partner’s body, and I wonder if somehow giving men more control over their own fertility, and educating them about it and how they can reclaim it from where it has been outsourced to another body, might be a positive step. I wonder if our cultural disconnect between fathers and children might take a few steps if men were taught to view their reproductive systems as more than just pleasure centers, as a part of their personal fertility.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, I think there’s more to be explored with this idea but I’m not fully prepared to go on the biological tangent with it yet so I think I’m going to leave it at that. I just. What would it take for men to reclaim their own fertility from where it has been culturally outsourced to women’s bodies?

[inevitablemoment]

One Last Gift

Fandom: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid Pairing: Miss Holloway/Douglas "Duke" Keane

Six weeks after the Hatchetfield Honey Festival and two weeks after settling into her new identity as Miss Holliday, Miss Holloway learns that Duke has given her a gift that she thought she would never receive.

------

[mosneakers]

[🔉]

Dear Darling Agnes,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits. It has indeed been too long since our last exchange, and I hold our correspondence close to my heart. Your letters have a remarkable way of brightening even the darkest of days.

Though our paths differ in many ways, there's a particular story you shared, of weeping on the floor of your unfinished nursery after Erik's passing, that resonated with me deeply. As you know, Thornton and I have grappled with the heartache of infertility for quite some time, and your tale ignited a glimmer of hope within me. You mentioned your trip to Sunset Valley last Harvestfest, and it warmed my heart to hear you mention that you let little Mortimer be your babysitter of choice for a little while. Even if he did have help from his faithful playmate Bella, it appears that he's blossoming into a fine young man, and I'm sure he adores spending time with his Aunt Agnes and your darling daughters.

I was surprised to hear that Pauline Wan convinced you to accompany her to the Sunset Valley Country Club during your visit here. Had I known, I would've joined. Gossip indeed travels swiftly in such places, and you must have caught wind of the rumors surrounding my marriage. Sadly, they hold true; Thornton's fidelity has been compromised. We attempted to mend the first indiscretion, when a young woman (much too young for him, I dare say!) followed him home after one of his Saturday Afternoon whiskey escapades. Regrettably, it happened once more, this time with a blonde. I stood by the door, concealed in the shadows, and witnessed the entire heart-wrenching act. In that moment, I knew it was the final straw. While I may have retained ownership of this grand mansion as part of our divorce settlement, it feels like a hollow victory. What use is this opulent house when the one thing I've yearned for remains elusive?

But perhaps, dear Agnes, fortune may be favoring me at last. One melancholic afternoon, as I sought solace in painting by the lake, fate led me to an unexpected encounter with a pair of brothers, the Frios. Jared had noticed me first, and asked Connor, a man of few words and a preference for solitude, to strike up a conversation on his behalf. Little did we all anticipate that in the course of our conversation, Connor and I would discover a deep connection, and we began seeing each other shortly after.

He was reluctant at first, but Connor has warmed up to the idea and agreed to move into this vast estate with me, accompanied by his brother Jared. I realize it might seem hasty, Agnes, but my biological clock seems to be ticking ever louder, and I can't afford to let time slip through my fingers. Besides, this sprawling estate can be quite lonely and isolating, so it's comforting to have their company to fill its echoing halls.

I do love him, Agnes. He's a good, faithful man, and an exceptional and rather generous lover, I must admit. He'll make an excellent father too. With this grandiose labyrinth of a home at our disposal, we have all the resources to comfortably raise a child. I must confess, however, I often fantasize of escaping this life of opulence, and living a more modest life and living freely in a simpler town. Maybe one day a house next to yours will go up for sale and I'll leave this all behind. Wouldn't that be a dream?

In any case, Agnes, I long for your presence in my life and sincerely hope you'll visit when you're in town. I do miss you fiercely. How are the darling daughters? Is Gwendolyn making strides in potty-training? Has Persephone said her first word? I treasure our friendship and your inspiring stories. Your resilience and love for Erik and your two daughters give me hope, even in the darkest of times. Please write back soon, my dearest friend, and tell me how your life unfolds. -With all my love, Morgana Wolff

< Previous Next >

[rhunsui]

Congrats concept #5 for becoming the official SchoolB design

he wants a kid but hes infertile

Yea thats the only thing i have of him

That explains the last reblog and why he likes kids, cuz he cant have one himself (Not in a weird way)

Why cant he adopt? Theres no orphanages in Broomstown, yea.... Lets just say children are cherished and loved so there arent any orphans

Spooky's actually right beside him but this aint about him

[shadowofroses]

going on 5 am thought as I'm half asleep: hm...afab reader can be Asexual or Demisexual, stuck with an arranged marriage with Gojo. But there is no way out of it unless the two of you can prove to be infertile after like 5 years of not having a child.

So, you get married, you're in the bedroom it's locked. Instead you get distracted by Gojo's game collection. You pick up Mortal Kombat. while still in your Hiki-furisode. and raise an eyebrow. "you know if we swear enough at this game while fighting each other if anyone passes up the room they are going to think we're consummating our marriage?" "You...play Mortal Kombat?...Well I pick Scorpion." "Fine Johnny Cage for me~"

So 3-4 hours pass of the two of you playing Mortal Kombat instead of fucking. You're now exhausted enough to go to bed. Gojo thought he wouldn't have an issue and that the 5 years would fly by fast. But Hell, if you play Mortal Kombat with him like this? He's now curious, he might just actually fall for you at this rate.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Yaaayy requests are open !!

Can you write azashiro souya x fem!wife Reader . Azashiro is in reader mansion because she is the head of shihouin Clan.

He hates being here. Despite the vastness of its walls, he found the Shihōin estate stifling. As if with each breath those vast walls just came a little closer and closer, until they would eventually swallow him.

Urozakuro rattled at his side in her sheath. Azashiro’s hand had to come and stay her hilt to make her stop.

“Soya?” The captain turned his head to look at [Y/N]. Her gentle smile telling him that she hadn’t noticed his uncomfortableness, or his struggle with his Zanpakuto. That she was just happy to see him. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Life of the Shihōin head. You know.” No. He doesn’t. But in another life he might have, as the only son of the once great & proud Azashiro Clan. “Did the servants offer you anything? Goodness, what a terrible impression….”

“I didn’t want anything.” Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thought it was a trap. That the tea they offered him would be poisoned in some elaborate long came where the Seireitei assassins would finally destroy the Azashiro with the clever beguiling nature of its head.

“Hmmm…shall we head to the garden then?”

Azashiro nodded. Outside was best. Not better, but best. At least the open space would let him get air in his lungs. “How is your brother?”

“Captain Shihōin,” [Y/N] said with a playful sneer. “He’s fine. Wiping the Onmitsukidō into shape over his perceived abuse at having to take orders from a woman all his life.”

Urozakuro rattled louder. To the point that Azashiro had to wrap his whole fist around her hilt to silence her. “Children can be that way.”

Since [Y/N] had no interest in being a Shinigami, the traditional role of leading the 2nd had fallen to her brother. A decision that many regretted and urged her not to make, as she was notably stronger and more even tempered than her brother, but she told him once that it was not the work, she hated but the politics. He had to agree. Life was simpler in the 11th, where strength was the only measure of character.

Her horrible little brother was actually how they met. The clan heads, those of course not already seated in positions of power in the 13, attending one of the captains’ gathers to discuss safety and security in the Seireitei. A joke, Azashiro had thought, as the only ‘safety & security’ nobles cared about was their own power. His butchered family was testament to that. But…he had been moved by [Y/N]’s earnestness in the meeting. She genuinely seemed to care about people; and not just the people within their walls. Perhaps it was all an act, as he knew nobles were good at that too, but he had been taken in by her words and soon fell in love.

“Hopefully he’ll grow out of it one day. I mean, he has too, right?” [Y/N] sighed. Then said in a low voice, “for the sake of his children I hope so….”

He had no children now, but would be expected to. To marry, and carry on the line, because, as luck would have it, their prized jewel was not only not interested in being a Shinigami but also barren. The Shihōin family seemed to have been cursed with a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful tragedy that would bring them into great prominence and then hand it off to sows of an idiot. Doomed, some said, but a boon for Azashiro. Since she could not extend the line, no one questioned their friendship and relationship as nothing of note could come from it.

[Y/N] sighed again and stretched her hands over her head. “Let’s get out of here.” Azashiro looked towards her in surprise. Or as surprised as he let his expressions be. “I know you don’t like it here. You play it off, but to a Shihōin’s sight you might as well be shouting it like you want to.”

The corner of Azashiro’s lips turned up. He should have known she had noticed. What a stupid thing to assume. “Places like this…bring back bad memories.”

“I know.” She of course knew about his family. He never spoke of it, but every noble family knew. “And I don’t want you to have bad memories with me. Only good ones.”

Her fingers laced with his and he suddenly felt as some of the Shihōin palace weight had come off his shoulders. Funny, how the person who’s walls now stood for made him feel more at ease.

They leave and head for the country side via Hoho, and spend the afternoon in the fresh air and the sun. He could finally breath and let his hair down; metaphorically as he would never actually take his hair down in front of a lady.

Their relationship was complicated, with his past and her future, but he was content in the way that it worked and found peace in it.

Peace, unfortunately, was not something he was used to. Azashiro wondered how long it would last.