#mentions of family member death

[snailsandpuppy-dogtails]

Cinderella Moment

@flufftober day 4 Cinderella Moment Garvez 1,317 words of wump and fluff *not the typical rags to riches Cinder moment* In which Penelope discovers what made Luke the man he is and realizes they may have more in common than she ever thought.

It wasn’t some big dramatic gesture, it wasn’t some obvious visual change, it wasn’t anything at all…but her. And him. And that. The story. 

The story that broke her heart. 

And tore down the canvas of his perfectly painted veneer, transforming him before her very eyes.

“Go on, I give you carte blanche. I know you haven’t done it, even after all this time. Look me up, find my secrets, Penelope.” It was an invitation, an opening. There were things in his past he…never brought up. Things that didn’t feel right, but things that explained so much and he wanted her to know, needed her to see him. See all of him. 

-15 years old, dad dead. Called to duty for Desert Shield. Not many deaths in the grand scheme of things, but a major one in the scheme of a teenage boy. Not a month later, sister kidnapped…tortured…murdered. The clipping stated she didn’t often walk home alone, but that this day she happened to be. Crime of opportunity-  

Penelope looked at him in crushed horror, unsure what to say. Luke wasn’t one for talking about his personal life, let alone his family, beyond a joke here or there. The closest anyone got was meeting Phil, her meeting Lisa… but even that wasn’t his choice. And now here he was giving her permission to see this painful thing. This horrible thing. To know it and understand. He was entrusting her with this very secret part of himself. 

Luke pulled out the extra chair she kept in her office, “It was me” he started weakly, “It was my fault. I was…so mad. Mad at him for leaving us. Mad at my mother, mad at my grandmother, mad at popi. I just lost my dad and they all expected me to suddenly take on this role. Be this big, strong, reserved, protector.

‘A Man’

I wasn’t allowed to…miss him. Express my feelings. I felt trapped and confused, frustrated, and angry. I was mad that I had to walk with her. That she got to cry, and miss him, and…that I couldn’t. 

“You are the man now, hijo,” like I was ready for that. Like I didn’t have the same feelings that needed worked through on top of everything else going on in my life. 

I couldn’t focus in class, I felt estranged from everyone, I wasn’t turning anything in…then one day I decided to skip. After lunch I walked out the doors of our high school without a word. It’s funny, even then, I knew if I acted like I was supposed to be doing it, no one would stope me. And I left. Went to the river. I threw rocks, and the rain fell and I cried, and yelled, letting my tears mix with the raindrops and my wails melt into the wind. 

I was gonna go back, I was going to wait for her when school ended, but I lost track of time… and when I got back to school, no one was there, so I went home thinking she left without me. But she wasn’t there either. 

But the police were. Not enough time had passed to make a report, but as far as my mother was concerned her husband was dead and her two kids were missing. Dad’s captain took her distress seriously, looking out for the widow of one of their own. 

Seeing the cops, I was panicked and scared. I thought I was going to be in so much trouble. For skipping, for not being with her. It was my fault. It was my duty.Iwas supposed to take care of her, look out for her…

The evening stretched into night, turned into day. Three days. They searched for for her for three days. 

My mother wouldn’t even look at me. 

The sound she made when the call came in…They asked her if there was anyone else who could identify the body. They knew. 

I needed to do right, I needed to make it up to her. To him. To all of them. I let everyone down, if I could tell them with confidence this wasn’t her, she was still out there, she was just lost, we would find her…

But it was her... As unrecognizable as she was… what he did to her. 

From that point on I made myself as agreeable as possible. I was early to school, I was home every day on time, I kept the house clean, and did my homework and didn’t make a fuss, and I tried to anticipate what everyone would need. I was strong. And I was stoic. I was a man. And when graduation came I joined the Army, and then I became what they needed. And when I got out, I joined the FBI and worked on tracking down criminals…and then I met the BAU 

I told Rossi I wasn’t his guy, I was a manhunter, I was no good in an office…but really, I wasn’t sure I was ready. To face the things I knew you all saw every day. If there was even one case that looked like her…I’d become obsessed finding him. I’d want to track him down, hurt him. I told Hotch I wanted to kill Cullen for what he did, and that was my partner. My brother. But not my blood. What would I do if the man who killed my sister came across my desk? I’d make it right. I wouldn’t be able to stop. I wouldn’t stop. I’d fix it… I couldn’t go back, but I could fix it.”

She watched as he blinked the tears away. Even now shoving those emotions down. And then it made sense. All of him. Every bit of Luke. His character, his behavior, how there was this dark streak, how there was this playful little boy that would pop out from time to time, how he took on everyone else’s problems and challenges and made himself as helpful as possible and needed to be everyone’s champion. 

He blamed himself, was told it was his fault. Was living a life of correcting that one moment, a moment he didn’t do. Mentally flogging himself for 30 years, but he was 15, a kid, he wasn’t responsible for the actions of some sick adult. 

Penelope rose, then stooped in front of him, stern, “Luke Alvez, don’t you dare blame that hurt boy for the actions of some twisted sick individual. It was not your fault. It is not your fault.” She understood. She understood better than anyone might. The guilt that kind of situation lays on you, even without someone blaming you outwardly, you blame yourself, and poor Luke, he was literally blamed. She was looking up at him, her hands holding his, his eyes tired, sad, sunken. So broken, so un-Luke-like.

“Penelope, I know, but if I had just been there, if I hadn’t-“

“No.” She cut him off firmly, hand letting go, softly framing his face, thumb tenderly soothing a cheek. “There is no ‘but’, you were a child. You were hurt. He did that. You cannot take on the weight of someone else’s actions. You know that. You can’t say what would or wouldn’t have happened. Luke Alvez, you’re too good for that.  You are a good man. You are a good person.” As she said it, Penelope stood, pulling him up with her, hugging him tightly, her face smooshing into his chest, lips just over heart. Her brow furrowed with her own bitter regret, regret that it took this to make her see, that it took this long. 

As tight as Penelope was hugging him, Luke squeezed back double, desperate to keep her close, that this admission wouldn’t send her running. And as he did, he could have sworn he felt the glide of her lips, the jump of her jaw, of Penelope whispering I love you.

[transgendz]

I already had a post up to cover an appt and my meds, then I woke up this morning and tripped over the cord of our $270 air purifier and broke it. I have diagnosed asthma and chronic bronchitis. The air purifier is what keeps me from constantly being horribly sick. If you've ever had bronchitis, you can imagine how bad it gets without it.

I need to replace this today if possible because I was already going through a flare. I cannot emphasize how urgent it is. I work from home, don't get paid for over a week from now, and the air is already hard to breathe without it now. I am kind of panicking.

Please click on the link to my other post for more details about the situation. I will do art for anyone who helps with this, just message me at my art blog @theartistrans

Dm me for proof or more details, I don't mind, I just desperately need this to replace this thing. The entra $10 is for my meds, which we haven't quite covered.

PP $C V kofi

$0/$280

[koboldfactory]

My grandmother is dying. She’s been in rapid decline for years with severe late stage dementia but the shift was just so sudden. I saw her like a month and a half ago and she was smiling and laughing and making jokes even though she could hardly form a sentence or remember who anyone was, but over the past couple of days she’s taken a turn for the worse and there doesn’t seem like much time left. She won’t wake up anymore.

Even though we’ve had time to prepare for this it’s still heartbreaking. This has been weighing on my mind on top of everything else lately and it’s made it hard to keep creating. I may also have to go out of town again soon depending on what happens next, so please bear with me

[yardsards]

also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.

not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like

the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that

[bionicle-ramblings]

This is based off of conversations I've had with @chancetimespace about the cat au posts I did a while back. Just want to first say thanks for putting up with the nonsense that is the Cat AU in the first place because my goodness is it fun to imagine the faves as cats

TW for animal endangerment, toxic family relationships

Also canon characters will either be represented as humans or animals, and not just limited to house cats, you'll see what I mean

I'm saying it now, please bear with me because this is a bit of a crack AU that started from free serotionin posts that spiraled into something fun with, again, thanks to @chancetimespace so please bear with me in this😅🙏

There will also be some retconning from this point on

With all that said, ONWARD!!!

So narratively speaking, and, as previously mentioned, retconning previous posts for the sake of a cohesive story, you, the reader, are in a moderately sized family with a fair number of cousins, some aunts, and some uncles, all of whom are present for the reading of a will, as an older relative has passed away. Where everyone gets a sum of money and maybe an heirloom, you get something that surprises everyone: the house the relative was living in. A few cousins ask to read the will themselves, thinking there was a mistake, but no. You get the house, the land it's on, and the 'assets' connected to the house. Your older cousin, wealthy, totally not shady cousin Teridax, explains that the assets are actually seven cats, specifically 6 house cats and a puma. Many of the family members try talking you out of taking the deal, as you can barely afford to take care of yourself, but when they're asked, the dead relative's children refuse to talk you out of it. Two are unable to, as they want to honor their parent, and the third(We'll call them Three for simplicity's sake) needs an extra set of hands to help care for the 7 cats and does agree to stop by to help you out and keep you company

So, yeah. That house and the seven cats in it are yours and you move in, and Teridax joins in helping, but also reminds you that this isn't house-sitting. You own the house and SEVEN cats now. Three tells him to budge off and you are just happy to have a house to own and not a place to rent every month

You walk in and are greeted by Three's friend and the relative's neighbor, who had heard a lot about you and is a surprising ball of energy fire someone rumored to have six dogs and the kittens

Also greeting you, the real stars of the show, are four of the seven cats(Listing they're madness and breeds so you can imagine them better. Some are switched around from the original posts): Nokama, who is a Russian blue with a heavy emphasis on blue thanks to a color mutation(play along), Matau, a genet that's steadily losing the green dye job a previous owner gave him before he wound up with your relative, Vakama, an Abyssinian with a nice red coat(that's what my sources say), and Lhikan, who, as mentioned previously, is a puma and was the relative's service animal before they died

As you walk in and the four greet you, Vakama watches you and stays close, as does Lhikan. When you ask, the neighor admits that Vakama tends to "act strange" after he has moments where he starts panting and has to lay down or just stands on his hind legs. They call it his seeing the future, but you have admittedly never been the superstitious type.

As you move in, with help from the neighbor, Three, and Teridax, you see the cats don't trust Teridax, most of all Lhikan, but you also see old momentos from your relative and the other three cats: Whenua, a black cat that keeps trying to open your boxes and see what's inside since it's been a while since he's seen you, Onewa, a Siamese cat that kinda wants nothing to do with you, and Nuju, a short haired Persian that's happy to supervise your move in and greet you from a distance.

After a bit of a long day, and some chill time, Teridax passive-aggressively threatens you because you got the house when it was meant to go to him, but Three reminds him that he is wealthy beyond reason and is very doesn't need the house, and Three can very easily ensure he isn't allowed anywhere near the house if he tries something, as he has tried poisoning Lhikan before. Teridax apologizes for what he sees as his own act of mercy to an animal, but ultimately leaves, wishing you all

Once he's gone, the cats kinda swarm you because you love her now and you're eating some ramen that smells really good. Matau is ESPECIALLY a nightmare because he's playing it cute and whips out the show stopper: Imitating a car alarm

Later that night, Whenua's looking through the contents of cabinets your relative had and looking through what you have, taking inventory and 'asking' you what's what. It's kind of a long night, but you eventually go to bed, as Lhikan won't let you stay up any later than you already have

As you settle in, you see him essentially gather the other cats to lay in bed with you, even watch out for any that decide to sleep close to your head

There is a packet explaining how to care for the cats, and you're more than thankful for it because you essentially konk out from a long day of moving. You were planning on sleeping on the couch, but Lhikan "encouraged" you to go sleep properly on a bed. You sleep surrounded and covered by cats, though you still see Vakama watching you woke you nod off and ultimately fall asleep

[thelampisaflashlight]

It's really weird for me, knowing I have off this weekend, and I could technically do something fun or get out of the house for a while, but then remembering the reason I have off, is because I put in for that day two months ago in order to attend a funeral.

The service got canceled, for reasons I won't get into, so a part of me is saying I shouldn't do anything at all out of respect, but another part of me is saying I should use that time to my advantage and do something I want and/or need to do.

I think, at the very least, I need to get out of the house that day so I don't dwell on it, but that's what I would have been doing that day anyway and I just...

It's a complicated feeling.

[mightymizora]

Crazy how bereavement shakes up your emotions like a fucking paint mixer and uncovers repressed memories and makes you as resilient as tissue paper.

And how we all know this, we make art about this all the time, but still forget until it happens to us again.

[nowimhaunted]

i don't know if anyone is awake yet but please keep midnight in your thoughts, i am so worried about her because she hasn't eaten in a few days so i took her to the vet and spend like $400 on tests and fluids and they still can't figure out what's wrong with her :( they gave me something to stimulate her appetite, but she still isn't eating. they told me if she doesn't eat at all today then my options are to take her to emergency or considering putting her down because she turns 17 years old this year and she's diabetic. I want to continue to fight for her, but I literally spent all of my money on her tests yesterday and I have nothing else left to take her to emergency. so my options are to either take out a predatory loan or just check myself into the mental hospital if she dies <3

[spymeister]

Brief Life Update

I'm going to be blunt. I might be slightly manic and in and out of attentiveness the next week or so. My wife just found out that her mother passed today, four hours away, in another city. She's not precisely dealing (and I don't expect her to. Grief is a process), but the enormity of it hasn't hit her yet, and I want to be close to her.

She has a meeting with her father and sisters at the family funeral home tomorrow to discuss arrangements.

I'll also occasionally interact to keep myself somewhat distracted long enough to ensure I'm there for her as she needs me.

I'm sorry if this is too much information, but right now- I'm a gummy in, and the honesty train is part of that. I love all of you. You're amazing, and some of my best friends- even if we've barely met. Thank you so much for the past few months, words, and your presence.

If you want to chat, eendee is my discord.

I'm working on commissions and card readings too. Your help/payments helped me find meat for sale that we could stock back for another two weeks to survive to the next paycheck.

[neo-zone]

I don't feel like I wanna do a rewatch of season 2 just to get some subtle hints on the show, but does anyone know any hint of Chief Ji's son existence before the last two episodes? Why Ye-seul seems like she does not really remember/care about him (let alone their dad) when she's supposed to be his sibling on the first place?

[onyourstageleft]

today has been a day

1a) woke up early as hell to be productive before work

1b) still can't shake a sinus infection so I've been snuffling and miserable through the whole day

2) worked a whole 8 hour day in the baby room at the daycare

3) got a "wanna have sex" text on my way to my car (I did want to) however...

4) get home to my partners mad as hell bc our management company had to kill the vibe and announce our lot rent raise (another $55/month starting in July) so didn't actually get to have sex

5a) started planning to move out by July of next year so we looked at places for sale out of curiosity

5b) found a place we actually really like that is feasible right now

5c) called and left a voicemail for our financial advisor about it and also called an agent and scheduled a tour of the place for tomorrow

6a) as we're discussing what questions we have about the house to ask tomorrow my MIL calls bc...

6b) my husband's aunt just passed last week and they're dealing with funeral planning but deceased aunt's kids are being shitty (stealing her stuff from the house that she lived in with my MIL to sell/pawn)

6c) so husband is talking her down from a breakdown while also telling her to report the Aunt's car stolen bc it's technically held in probate but her son with a very storied criminal past took it from the house earlier today to "keep it safe"

7a) while that call is going on my mom texts me to tell me to approve an Amazon login which (long story short) is fraudulent so

7b) I have to completely reset my Amazon account and tell Mom how to actually deal with the recurring scam charge on my grandmother's credit card

8) finally get to finish making (and eat) the slow cooker dinner I started on before work today

oh and like twice through all of this phlem gets caught in my throat so badly that I have to go to the bathroom to deal with the threat of throwing up mucus. so that's been my day

I'm ready to go to bed

[fideidefenswhore]

Anne's ability to hold the king off for seven years is part of her legend. The brilliance of her strategy was to cast herself in the role of the courtly lady, requiring Henry to play to perfect knight. Henry was nothing if not dogged in the pursuit of all the roles in which he cast himself—philosopher-king, warrior, even husband—and 'this persona of courtly lover...was fully formed in Henry and had been signaling...for an answering adept to come and lift its latch. In Anne, he had her: she was the mistress of Petrarchan contraries [...] the perfect [player] for the king's tender interest.'

Renaissance Prince: Elizabeth, Lisa Hilton

[cepheusgalaxy]

Ok

Um

My... essay teacher just died?

[vounoura]

anyways vounoura as an idea and tradition is deeply interesting in the manner of how it utterly disrupts typical dunmer funerary practices and in that function completely others the Tong from the rest of society

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

I’ve had a few “whoops this thing I stopped doing is actually helping me” moments recently.

I’ve felt wretched and like I was coming down with the flu recently. It felt more than my normal PEM symptoms, and I was really concerned. And then I realise it’s spring, a bunch of stuff is blooming, and it’s been sooooo windy. And I stopped taking antihistamines and my nasonex sometime last year (antihistamines bc we thought it might have been causing some side effects, nasonex bc I hate the sensation of nasal sprays and need motivation to use it). Pesky hayfever. Needless to say I’m feeling much better having restarted my regimen. I felt a bit silly that I could have avoided feeing miserable though.

I went out for an appointment yesterday in my “knock about the house” shoes that are podiatrist loathed (nil ankle support, nil arch support, worn down), rather than my lace up shoes with my orthotics. After that appointment, I thought I’d check out a new store that’s opened at the shops nearby. I ended up doing a LOT of walking at the shops and today my ankles are sooooo painful and my hips been acting up. I guess it’s good to know that my shoes and orthotics are doing good things in terms of symptom prevention (as well as better longer-term outcomes) but damn do I feel ouchie.

I’m framing it as “yay negative data also tells us important things” because I gotta remember it’s not my fault when these things happen but it is good to try learn from them. And frankly, when there’s so many things going on with your health and condition management as a disabled person, it’s okay when things fall through the cracks. It’s gonna happen. Especially when there’s lots of non-disability stuff going on too. It’s okay.

[astralarias]

christmas sucks for me now for a bunch of reasons but if I am given money that IS getting me closer to being able to go visit friends again so <3