#merida x hiccup | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k-x-tana · 11 months

Text

'I see you'

Pairings: Merida DunBroch & Hiccup Haddock Horrendous III (mostly platonic)

Word count: 5,424

Synopsis:

After reuniting with his mother during a crusade for magic, Hiccup is overwhelmed by the things that this event has awakened, however, he is not alone, a good friend comes to help him.

Or, where Merida and Hiccup tell each other parts of their lives that they hadn’t allowed themselves to share with anyone else.

(Most of this is just Hiccup and Merida telling each other how they viewed their stories)

Warnings: Abandonment issues, regret, insecurities.

Author's note:

Hi everyone! First of all, this is my first fanfic ever, I wrote this just to please my 9-year-old-self and she was obsessed with mericcup, but it has little to no romantic content, it's more of a character study, I needed to understand MY Hiccup, because I changed A LOT of the HTTYD plot, I really just stayed with the first movie, the rest it's just little bits of all of the other things, so keep that in mind. For me it's just the start on a slow burn but but you don't have to see it the same way.

Also, this is part of a RoTBTFD saga, and if you just like all of this people being friends, no shipp drama (not even the canon one), then the first book of said saga is for you, no shipps, just friends and bonding and a little bit of angst, after that, there willl be slowburn mericcup, so stay tuned! (The thing with Hiccup and Valka would be fixed eventually, it's in their nature to understand).

Thanks for reading!

Other places to read:

AO3 (english)

AO3 (spanish)

Wattpad (spanish)

That morning, Hiccup discovered that her mother had not been killed by a dragon, leaving no trace behind, but left Berk, she had seen how a dragon showed curiosity for her son, saw that dragons are not bloodthirsty beasts, she thought maybe there was something else behind all this ridiculous war, but if so, in the village they would never listen to her, they would probably throw her overboard; being the village chieftess would not gain her any privileges. So she left her son in the care of her husband, and left the only home she had ever known.

When Valka and Stoick reunited, she was sure he would hate her; but her husband simply took her face, wiped her tears and welcomed her back into the family; turns out that Vikings don’t usually stop to think about the past. Or, well, most Vikings.

At first Hiccup was happy, but as the day went on, he began to think about what it meant for his mother to be gone, everything plummeted when in his mind a short, simple and hurtful phrase echoed: "So, that’s why she left me".

That terrible idea did not come alone, it took many different forms, but so far it had not left him alone. Hiccup retained his emotions as much as he could, it wasn’t something he used to do, but this time he didn’t really know how to act, so he kept a slight smile all day and just watched her parents dance, love and tell how much they had missed each other. During the night everything exploded. In his insomnia, Hiccup was scheming so many ideas and questions that he thought he would ignite at any moment. Then he began to feel that he was short of air and that he had a big, heavy lump in his throat, he needed fresh air urgently, so he began to walk towards the exit, and he inadvertently started running; he only stopped outside the ice cave, then the air began to fill his lungs again, but it was not enough to continue to hold the cry and fell on his knees. Shortly after that, Toothless arrived, he brought a boot and a blanket, the dragon had accompanied him for many nights where it was only him, Toothless, the fire of the chimney and his silent tears, today he did not care to let out sobs or gasps, he was tired of being silent.

The pair of friends were huddled together, until the sound of the iron falling interrupted them.

-Hiccup? Oh my, are you hurt? Is everything okay?

It was Merida, her hair looked even more agitated than usual and she had an untied boot. What they heard was the girl’s huge sword that she had dropped to the ground as soon as she saw Hiccup hugging Toothless and rushed over to make sure they were okay.

-What are you doing up?

-I... couldn’t sleep and I heard you running away, I thought something would have attacked you, besides, I don’t know if your sense of direction is as bad as Corona’s and I didn’t want you to get lost here by yourself.

She finished scanning them and their agitated breathing began to stabilize, apparently no one had hurt them. However, she noticed his friend’s wet eyes and the dragon’s sad look.

-Oh Hiccup, do you need anything? I can give you some space, or listen to you or just stay with you without talking or-

-Stay. Please stay.

The boy wiped his face a little, sat on the edge of an overhanging rock and pointed the place to her. She sat and then turned to him:

-Do you... want to talk?

-I’m not sure, but I’d like to try.

-Whatever you need.

She smiled at him, and he returned the gesture. Toothless moved a little so that Merida could reach his head to scratch it. Hiccup took a deep breath:

-These days have left me exhausted, but today more than tired, I am... confused, I think, a little angry even. Meeting your mother after 20 years shouldn’t be so painful, I should be happy, all my life I was imagining what my life would have been like if she had been with me at Berk. I thought that would have made the days where I haven't met Toothless yet, well, easier. I never imagined there would be a life with her away from the island, and now I’m not sure what I would have preferred, or why I care so much to answer that question.

-How did you imagine your life with her before?

-Well... I don’t know, I think that more than having her with me, I needed someone to keep me company, anyone. I know it’s hard to believe, but I wasn’t always "Berk’s pride".

In the last sentence Hiccup made his voice deeper and bent his arms showing his thin biceps. "At least he still maintains his terrible sense of humor," she thought. Then the boy returned to his hunched pose, resting his elbows on his knees.

-I tried to fit in as much as I could with the other Vikings, to be strong and big like them, but as hard as I tried I could never, not quite. You know? For the last attack before we faced the red death, my father needed volunteers to go on an expedition to find the nest, and nobody wanted to go until he said that whoever stayed would have to take care of me. Of all the adults in the village, only Gobber, the old woman and a couple of farmers stayed on the island. Maybe they didn’t see me as a productive member of the community, and I was always screwing up, but they didn’t gave me a chance to prove otherwise either, they’re too stubborn to do something like that. Before I understood that dragons are not enemies, I was always to be equal to others, or not to get in the way. I was so lonely for so long.

Merida thought of her father, he taught her that she had potential, to develop it, she couldn't imagine what life could have been in the castle without him. However, the walls of the castle were very lonely as well, more so when her brothers were not yet born.

-And today, to see her, to know her a little... We are very similar, now I see that all of this-

He pointed at all of himself.

-Didn’t came out of nowhere. I think having her would have made me feel accompanied, understood. And the worst thing is that she saw Berk, she lived there, Gods! She was the head of the village! , she saw everything that was wrong about dragons, and she saw me, she knew I was not as strong as the rest because I came early to this world and almost died in the crib. Still, I don’t understand what made her think Berk was a good place to leave me all alone. And I know it’s unfair to say that, I had my father and Gobber, but being the Chief while grieving her, I wasn’t his only responsibility, since I was 7 he left me almost totally in charge of Gobber, and neither of them ever listens to me. I don’t understand how anyone can make that decision... But I’m willing to listen, maybe I don’t like what she'll say, but I think I need answers.

The boy turned to see his friend, and was surprised to see her gaze fixed on him, it seemed that she was about to release an arrow, one would think that that expression would be intimidating, but Hiccup had seen her frown the same way when Jack showed her the way, or when Rapunzel explained to her how they had solved the whole matter of her hair, the sun and the moon; she was simply paying attention to him, only that he had never seen her so determined (and so close). The boy felt the heat running down his face to his ears and looked down, he thanked for his tan skin and Odin who hid the sun so she wouldn't notice. Even now that he was used to being listened attentively by the entire village, he had never talked about that part of his life with anyone, not even Astrid, because it was not necessary, she had seen it with her own eyes.

-What about the blonde girl? I thought you and her... Well, you have a very strong connection, I thought she would have been with you since the beginning.

-You mean Astrid?

-She’s the only blonde girl in the group, Haddock, I doubt you can mistake her for Gobber.

The boy smiled slightly, she was right, and he really needed sleep.

-Oh, well, she became my friend thanks to Toothless, like everyone else, although our story is a little more complicated than that. I remember when we were barely 10 years old I used to go out and walk in the woods as far as I could, and once I got lost, that time I thought the rest of my life I would live among deer and rabbits, but she found me, told me "no Viking should be left behind", then took my hand, guided me through the forest showing me in detail what was the way back. By the time we saw the village again, she had my heart in her hands.

-You really are easy to impress, huh?

-Hey, that was the first time someone from the village care to help me. And the first time someone called me a 'Viking'.

-As you say, lover boy.

-Well, after that, it was about four years of absolutely nothing, at best she scolded me, saying that I had to take my place among others, take things seriously or try harder. Today I understand why she told me all those things, she was one of the few who had a little common sense, and it was always central to her the commitment to Berk and the community, without blind trust, of course. She was the first to trust me and Toothless, the first to know about him, and the first to support me in the fight against the red death. But it was only until that moment that she really saw me, that she regarded me as more than just another child in the village. And after the battle with the dragons ended, she... Well, she fell in love with me, and she didn’t know what to do with that, so she acted like nothing happened, and when I tried to get close to her, she would get me away, usually with hurtful words.

-How did you solve that? You look so close now...- She had the same eyes a kid has when the bedtime story gets too exciting.

-Actually, we fixed it because I exploded and asked for an explanation

-Did you have to explode to ask for an explanation?

-Huh, I guess so.

-And did you told each other how you felt?

-It sounds easier than it is, but yes, long story short we did. Now that we knew that we loved each other, it seemed pretty easy to fix everything, right? Well, we tried to be together for a while, but we realized that we wanted different things, she wanted to stay and I wanted to leave, and that what was good for us was just to support each other and that made our friendship even stronger, she would make sure I don't lose the floor and I would help her... Well, I’m not really sure, but she likes me a lot so I guess I have to do something right. She’s like my soul mate and she’s one of the most important people in my life.

-So you’re not together now?

-Nope, this guy is single. Why? You interested?

Hiccup arched an eyebrow and gave her a smirk. A very dumb one. Merida let out a chortle, although it really sounded far away from a normal laugh.

-Okay, I have experience with rejections, but you didn’t have to make fun of me like that.

Hiccup’s remark only made her laugh more, and instead of feeling offended, the laugh became contagious.

-I guess I have a bright future, I have found my mother, new friends, a mission, an opportunity to learn more about dragons... Maybe I didn’t get a girlfriend with a stunning Scottish accent, but whatever.

-If you keep making me laugh we’ll wake up the others.

-It seems that I touched a nerve.

-You have no idea.

-I could, if you'd like to tell me...

-I would like to, but I’m not sure this is the right timing, you are my priority right now.

There was silence for a moment, a warmer feeling in Hiccup's stomach.

-Gods, you have no idea how much I like to hear that.

Hiccup smiled at Merida, and this time she was the one who suddenly had her face as red as her hair. She didn’t thank anything nor anyone, she was well aware that even in the dark night her carmine face was evident.

-I’d like to say that to you more often, but if you’re going to get all sentimental every time I do, then I think I’ll keep it for special occasions only.

-Ha ha, how funny, even when you blush for my charms you take advantage of my vulnerability.

-You’re not as charming as you think, Haddock.

-Ouch, okay. Thanks for your consideration, but I think a distraction might help, let me listen to you for a while, would you?

Merida sighed, took her hands to her face, hoping the cold touch would help lower the temperature of her cheeks.

-Okay, I’ll tell you.

Hiccup got up, moving a little away from the edge, Toothless accompanied him and settled down so that the two friends could lie down on him and look at the stars. Merida understood and settled down on the side of Hiccup, arranged the blanket that Toothless had brought to cover them both.

-You see, a few years ago, my mother sent three letters to the lords of the allied houses, Macguffin, Dingwall and Macintosh. I had already reached the appropriate age to make the traditional games for the heirs of each house to fight for my hand in marriage.

-Wow, do they really do that in your village?

-I’ll get to that. And actually, we are a kingdom.

-Alright new-world girl, get on with your story.

-So, all my life I lived inside the castle, I only went out to ride Angus or for some lesson; I do not know how my mother expected me to be ready to marry when I had only had human contact with my family and the people who work in the castle; or maybe that’s the whole point. Anyway, back then, my mom and I had a terrible relationship, she wanted me to become this perfect princess, a symbol of righteousness and grace that is always at the service of all and whose life is limited to tending the castle and the lands. And I’ve never wanted that, I mean, now I understand why all the boring protocols I’ve been taught throughout my life are important, and why I'm important. But at the time my mother only thought that this was the only goal of my life and I thought that nothing that happened made sense.

-I think I would have thought the same as you.

-It was difficult not to do so when no one ever explains you the reason for something but force you to obey it.

-Touché.

-When the lords and their sons arrived, my mother explained the rules "Only the firstborn of each clan can compete for the hand of the princess of DunBroch", and well, I am the firstborn of my clan. And, according to tradition, the princess chooses the activity with which the clans compete.

-Let me guess, you chose archery

-Duh. Nonetheless, when I faced the clans to defend my hand I almost started a war. My mother was furious, we had a big fight and I thought that the only way to achieve what I wanted was by changing my mother so that the thought that bethrothing me to some lord was not necessary. I took Angus and I rode into the forest, we reached some very old stone steles, in my kingdom we say that those stones were placed by benevolent trolls, and that there they wrote instructions to control magic, as a symbol of peace between the men and the creatures of the forest. It’s a very important magic center. When I got there, the first thing I saw was a path of little blue fire-like creatures, what we call Will-o’-the-whisp, souls that decided to stay longer on earth to guide the living to their destiny. They took me to a witch’s cabin and I asked for an enchantment to change my mother, I wanted her to stop believing that marriage was a good idea, but when I came home and gave the enchantment to my mom, she turned into a bear. Once again I acted without knowing the consequences.

"Magic really is strong in DunBroch", he thought while trying to hide his amazed expression. At the same time, he remembered having an encounter with something very similar to this souls Merida described, but kept it to himself.

-Then I had to take her out of the castle, and try to find answers. Meanwhile, my mom and I had the opportunity to get to know each other a little better, she listened to me and I listened to her, or something like that, she was a bear, she couldn’t communicate with anything but gestures.

-That explains why it is so easy for you to understand Toothless.- he said, althoug he didn't mean it to be outloud. He scolded himself.

-You think so? Corona is also tactful with animals and this boy gets along very well with Jack.

She said as she scratched the dragon’s forehead, he seemed very comfortable and happy.- He relaxed a bit, he hadn't lied anyways.

-Yes, but you listen more calmly and do it more often, I think you are the only one who "converses" with him besides me. I would even say you're his second favorite, after me, of course.

Toothless turned a little to lick Merida’s face.

-Toothless, I told you that doesn’t come off! Stubborn, giant lizard. Wait, I have a handkerchief over here.

-Don’t worry, that's how you show affection, don’t you? oh, poor boy, the bad Viking mistreats you?

Toothless nodded, feigning a painful scream as Merida scratched his chin.

-Great, another rejection.

-What can I say?, everyone wants a little of me, you should get used to it.

-And here I thought that this trip would lead me to make more friends, not to lose those I already have.

-Do you want to keep listening to my story or are you going to keep feeling sorry for yourself?

-Please continue, at least I will know well who is leaving me alone in the world once more.

Merida rolled her eyes, but she contained laughter.

-Well, we went back to the witch’s cabin, and it turned out she left us a message, said we only had two days to undo the enchantment or my mother would become a bear forever, and just recited a couple of rhymes as a clue.

The girl cleared her throat a little and gave a more mystical tone to her voice:

-’Fate be changed, look inside. Mend the bond torn by pride.’

Hiccup felt chills, sometimes he forgets that Merida can have visions and recite prophecies, when the girl’s blue eyes became glassy, as if looking at something in the distance, while speaking in Gaelic.

-That was really creepy.

-I think you’re too soft.

-Oh come on, attacking me again. Better keep talking.

-As you wish. The point is that it didn’t really tell us anything, so we left, frustrated. Well, before that we made a couple of weird mixes with the jars the witch had left and almost destroyed the whole cabin.

-I think we should reconsider entrusting you with the spell...

-Haven’t you just say you wanted a chance to prove yourself despite your mistakes and-

-Okay, okay, I get it.

-Better. Then we were discouraged and nervous, but once again the will-o’-the-whisp guided us, this time towards the ruins of an old kingdom. That’s where I had my first vision. I touched a broken carved stone, and I saw a man become a bear in an ancient throne room. You see, my mother always told me the story of an ancient kingdom, the king divided the kingdom among his four sons before he died, but the elder was superb, and proclaimed himself the legitimate leader of all the land above his brothers, The war on those lands continued until my father and the lords united to defeat a common enemy. Remember when I told you how my father lost his leg?

-He was attacked by a bear called Mort

-Mor'du, but yes. It turned out that in all that time, the greedy son who faced his brothers became Mor'du, he wanted the strength of 10 men and asked the witch for the same enchantment as me. When I returned to the present and saw the broken stone, I understood what the witch told me: during the fight with my mother, I cut in half a tapestry that she was making, the whole family was in it, I sliced my sword right were my mother and I held hands. That tapestry had to be mended. Suddenly, in the shadows I saw a huge beast full of arrows that pierced his thick skin, a blind eye, and a black and ruffled fur that was advancing dangerously towards me. Without knowing it, we had entered Mor'du’s home. My mother and I ran and we managed to lose him. Now that we knew what to do, we went sneaking to the palace. Meanwhile, in the castle, things were getting tense, the lords wanted to know which clan I was going to marry. My father defended me every second...

Merida smiled slightly, remembering her father's courage.

-Before mending the tapestry we had to avoid a war, so I went to talk to the lords while my mother explained to me with signs what to say, and against all odds, my mother asked me to say to break with tradition and give me and the young heirs, the opportunity to follow our heart and find love in its time.

-That's hard to believe, amazing.

-I know, I wouldn't have expected it, I was honestly about to pick one of those three before my mother stopped me to give a precious speech about making our own decisions.

-Really? Which one were you going to choose?

Hiccup's eyes were mischievous. In less than a second, Merida’s face was boiling.

-It is not important.

-Oh, come on, I don’t even know them.

-Most likely you will.

-Even if I have the pleasure of meeting then, I promise not to tell anyone.

-Hiccup, I trust you, I’m not worried that you’ll tell them, I’m worried that you’ll know.

-All right, I won't insist further.

Until then she had not wanted to tell anyone, but Hiccup had entrusted her with a vulnerable part of his life. It wasn’t that she owed him anything, but she wanted things to be reciprocal, so she took a deep breath and let go:

-Macguffin, I would have chosen Macguffin.

Hiccup seemed surprised, but ventured to ask more.

-What is Macguffin like?

-Well, today I know he’s kind, altruistic, sensitive and a great friend, but at the time I would have chosen him more than anything because the other two guys didn’t show their best side, Macintosh had a terrifying outburst of anger when his shot wasn’t perfect, And Dingwall just looked distracted and you could tell miles away that he was only there to do a duty to his clan, at least Macguffin seemed interested in me and not in my title. Although if we’re strict, I should have been Lady Dingwall, he was the one who hit his the bullseye, even if it was mere coincidence.

-Merida Macguffin... It doesn’t sound so bad. They match.

The girl hid her face between her red curls, and spoke to Hiccup in a very faint voice.

-For Gods’ sake, Haddock.

The boy laughed.

-Come on, Merida, I’m just messing with you.

-I know...

-Why don’t you finish your story instead? I suppose you managed to break the spell.

The girl looked up at Hiccup, nodded and came out of her hiding.

-Fortunately, although it was not easy, the will-o'-the-wisp led me once again to the stones, they were about to kill my mother, I had to fight with my father, and if it was not enough trouble, Mor'du decided to go out to greet. My mother and the devil bear had a gruesome fight, but Mom got one of the stones to fall on him. When Mor'du stopped breathing, his soul came out of his body and gave us a little bow, before turning into a whisp himself; it seems he just needed someone to free him from the bear skin he got himself into. When it was all over, the sun began to shine, I hurried and covered my mother with the tapestry, begging the gods and fate not to be too late. And for a moment it was it, I saw my mother lose the white in her eyes and become just a creature of the forest, and I felt the weight of the world on me. I thought I had lost her forever, and it was my fault. There are still days when I have nightmares where I really lose her like that, where i loose her because I was selfish and stubborn.- He saw something in Merida, something he thougt impossible: fear, regret.

-That day, life gave me another chance, and my mother returned to her human form, just like my brothers. After all the fuss, my mother and I really changed, I took her lessons more seriously, and she was more patient with me. Now we both hear each other, and we understand each other, we’re closer than ever.- Merida was watching something beyond the sea in front o of them, her eyes full of love and pain at the same time. She was far from home.

-Despite everything, I wanted to learn more about magic, how to use it, stop it, and mold it as much as possible. So without telling my parents, I went to take lessons with the same witch who gave me the spell that time, I mean, she just gave me what I asked for, and I know some problems would have been avoided if she had explained in detail what was going to happen and how to undo the spell, but she’s the only one who knew magic in the whole kingdom, and being something so alive and so present in our lives, it seemed wrong not to know anything about it, even if in doing so, I hurt the relationship with my family... My parents didn’t want me to go near magic again, but being in DunBroch that’s impossible.

-I think I understand you, the dragons were also as present in our life as the sheep and we never stopped to think why they attacked us. We just took the war for granted.

-You know? The relic I’m trying to save on this mission belongs to one of the clans, blesses them with good harvests every day of the year, and we all rely heavily on those harvests during the winter, if I didn't have asked the witch for help, right now we wouldn’t know what to do, chaos would ensue and everyone in the kingdom would be dead by next spring. I honestly think we all make a great team, I’m sure we’re gonna make it. I know that even after we recover the magic of the relic, we have a lot ahead of us. You don’t know how grateful I am to everyone for helping us with this and trusting me.

Merida tried to hide a yawn, and failed. Hiccup sneered.

-Don’t you think I should have been the one bored by your story? Or doesn’t Her Majesty usually sleep late?

-My story was not boring, Haddock. And, just so you know, I sleep a lot, sometimes in the castle, it is necessary for my mother to take the triplets to bother me to get me out of bed. And between my unexpected insomnia, Toothless and this delicious blanket, I’m more comfortable than you’d expect to be out in the open at midnight.

Hiccup realized that he was also starting to feel heavy on his eyelids. Finally, he was resting.

-Sorry I woke you up and worried you, but i'm thankful that you did.

-Hey, we’re more than a team, okay? We’re friends. The day you need me and I’m not there for you is the day my heart stops beating, I promise.

He took a moment to see the stars shining on him, and then to Merida and the kind smile she had over him. There was something comfortable in her, and not just that, she was amazing in all kinds of aspects; he found himself mentally listing all of them.

-Well...- She looked nervious and her cheeks were light pink, maybe he stared at her a little too long- I think it's time for us to go back before we fall sleep here, don't you think?

-Yeah, sure, you're right.- He got up in a jump. -Let's go.- He extended his hand to help her get up, she took it.

-I'll take the blanket!- She said in a playful tone, and hurried to cover herself with the thick fabric.

-How considerate of you...- He looked at her like she was dressed in jewels and silk. Fortunately, Merida was already walking back and didn't noticed.

That morning Hiccup thought that he would have a broken heart for the rest of the trip at least, but as he saw her leave, he realized that he wasn't so sure anymore.

22 notes · View notes