#merlin has one brain cell

[thedragonkinproject]

PLEASE, PLEASE someone make a cute 10k> merthur fanfiction based on this reel https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6NDRvZIsQm/?igsh=MXA0eGxxcmUwd2dnZA==

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[chappellcastiel]

Keep seeing people deem Arthur as the long suffering one in the courage, strength, magic trio but the truth is, there is no long suffering friend every last one of them are extreme dumbasses together.

[mirrorofliterature]

also I have been mulling over a fanfic where, instead of umbridge - the senior undersecretary to the minister - is dada teacher, fudge instead chooses his junior assistant -

a.k.a. percy weasley.

percy has the grades, and he's under fudge's thumb as far as fudge is concerned.

percy: I will make sure that these children get at least one year of competent dada instruction to spite dumbledore or Merlin help me

as a teacher, I think percy would be similar to McGonagall - strict but fair.

he would submit his curriculum and be like: 'this complies with the exam expectations for dada owl and newt students'

fudge: why are there practical spells :/

percy: it would reflect on the ministry poorly if students couldn't competently complete the practical aspects of dada exams, sir

fudge: proceed :)

[that man has zero brain cells, istg]

of course, fudge (in his incompetence) aided by dumbledore pushing it off for longer than he should have (in his greater incompetence) only give percy one week notice.

and percy is like. ah shit this is going to be awkward teaching my siblings who hate me and I worked really hard for this job -

and then he sees the alternative is umbridge.

he takes the job.

he asks remus for his course notes because he was his only competent dada teacher.

fudge: what is this curriculum based off?

percy: a well-respected, established and experienced dada expert with prior teaching experience.

fudge: proceed :)

anyway chaos ensues.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Merlin characters as shit me and my friend group has said:

Leon: Please don’t eat the nettles.

Elyan to Gwaine: You’re just constantly as confused as a cow on astroturf, huh?

Merlin: Oh! Crazy coincidence, it’s almost like I know shit.

Anyone to Gwaine or Merlin depending on the day: I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but when I said fuck the rich, I did not mean literally!

Leon: I love you, but the the love of any and every divine power out there please take up stamp collecting or some shit

Arthur to Merlin: Hey, wha- why the fuck do you have a sword?! Also, cool sword. But uh, why do you have it?

Modern Merlin to one of the reincarnated knights: Please tell me you didn’t pay for premium air. I know you’re new to cars and your brain cell isn’t the most reliable, but please tell me you didn’t pay for premium air.

Elyan: Being the bigger person sucks. That’s Percy’s job. I’m 5 foot nothing and not built for that shit. Imma start being small and petty.

Merlin: Gods help me, I’m a fucking idiot for assuming you’d not do some dumb shit in the 20 minutes that I left you alone.

Leon: Yes, I’m reading while you lot shove your tongues down each other’s throats. I’m single and unfortunately sober. What do you expect me to do?!

(I have more of these if people want them)

Requested part 2

[marigold-hills]

Dunes and Waters

PART 1 • NEXT PART

PART 2:

Here is the thing about living alone: the routines. Little patterns of behaviour, daily rituals. Like turning on the kettle for tea before going to brush your teeth. A cigarette smoked out the kitchen window while waiting for it to cool down. Cryptic crosswords in the morning paper.

Remus has been living by himself for six years, ever since his mum died and his dad decided he couldn’t live with the reminder, going off to travel the Scottish Highlands and never returning. And he likes it, Remus does; never mind if he’s in his tiny studio in London, his old university accommodation, or in this lovely hotel in Egypt. Being alone suits him.

This morning, his crossword is half (and incorrectly) completed. The water from the kettle emptied and not replaced. His cigarettes – of which he still had three, he’s certain – all gone.

Worst of all? Sirius Black, hair up in a knot held up with his wand, sprawled out onto Remus’ favourite windowsill smoking what must be his last cigarette.

He looks like a cover of an album. Framed by the morning sun. Velvet Underground would pay a fortune for a picture of him right now, dressed in a loose billowy shirt he’s procured from Merlin knows where, and nothing else but boxers. Andy Warhol would paint him like he painted Marilyn – obsessively, repeatedly. Immortalise how he flicks the cigarette, a bit of ash falling onto the windowsill. Runs a restless thumb down the line of his bottom lip. Hums to himself softly and Remus thinks I was right because even subdued like this, it truly is a voice to behold.  

“I didn’t know how you take your tea,” Black says in leu of greeting.

“With hot water, to start with.” The meaning (refill the damned kettle!) seems lost on him, as he goes back to watching the world outside the window.

Must be a strange thing, to be here. Yesterday, and for the last two months, he woke up in a tiny cell made even smaller by the range of the chain holding him down. The window too high up and too small to give sunlight or a view, and even if he’d managed to get up there, he’d only have seen the sunken walls surrounding the jail.

Remus refills the kettle (again) and turns it on (again).

“Might making me one too?”

And Remus is a polite person. His mother taught him to be. So he turns off the kettle. Adds enough water for another tea, and hopes that this time is the last time.

“I like it real sweet,” Sirius drawls, stretching his vowels like a cat after a sun nap. “Lots of sugar.”

“You can add your own.”

“So inhospitable. So cruel. I’m sick, you know?”

“Sick enough to smoke all my cigarettes. Did you take your potions at least?”

A sharp tiny smile, a break in the veneer. “Knew you wouldn’t mind, Professor. You look like a right standup guy. The kind that lends others his smokes and his tea.”

“Potions?” Remus doesn’t let the man derail him. It must be an insult, with the way Black says it, but the doctor asked him to keep an eye, and he promised.

Never mind that he really doesn’t want his work delayed if Black gets worse on account of his own stupidity. It’s too important. Too time-sensitive.

“Yes, yes. I’ve taken them. Scouts honour, Professor. Or should I call you Doctor, instead, hmm? I’m sure you have one of those as well.”

“A doctorate? No. Not yet.”

“Pity. Professor it is then.”

“Just Remus. Please.”

NEXT PART

NOTES:

So I’m not going with the prompts this month because they just REALLY didn’t fit this story, but should still have 500 word bits every day :)

im currently applying for jobs so can’t write as fast as I normally do (they all have tests! Or hackathons! So so long), but will keep updating hopefully as usual

i love love love cryptic crosswords. They’re confusing as hell and fry my brain in such a delightful way :):):)

how are we all surviving AO3 being down?

@tealeavesandtrash

@moon-girl88

@hoje--aqui

(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged!)

[flymetosnarryland]

GTFO.

Did anyone miss Muggle London like I did? 🙃

This series as a part of "Infraction" has grown incredibly. It helped me understand a lot about things I want to write and made me think about "Infraction" as... well, my first real baby, lol. I wrote one Snarry, "Oblivion" already, but I take that story as testing the waters. I tried to know Harry and Severus, placing them in situation close to, eh, something that happened to me in a way. It means a lot to me and I'm proud of myself that I managed to write a fic from the start to the end.

"Infraction" on the other hand... this one is going to be really FAT piece of work and I'm excited over the moon about it. First chapter and the first part of second already landed on Ao3, but when am I going to finish the next part of it? (If anyone is interested at all, because I personally don't touch unfinished pieces, knowing how it works 🤣)

Well, to be honest, I decided to not rush it. Not because I don't know what to write. The main outline of the story has 40k+ words. It appeared that planning a series of murders is not so easy 😂 especially when the politics are part of it (I mean, Merlin... that's the last thing I thought I will EVER write, lol) and on top of that I have some complicated relationships (or, I suppose, a cherry on molten chocolate cake 🤤). Which makes me shiver and scream, that much I want to jump into writing it again. But the more I am thinking about the plot and fitting everything I need into it (of course writing it down), the more I'm surprised that I am able to figure out something that seems damn complex to me and my three brain cells 😂 I want to be proud of this story. I want it to be... maybe not perfect, but as good as I can see, it can be. And I enjoy the idea of growing as hobby writer. It makes me really happy. Also it's my first serious CRIME story. I know I said before that I always wanted to write crime. I always thought though it's out of my range, you know, I'm too dumb to bring something interesting that other people could possibly like as I do. But with this story I'm trying new things (like bringing Marauders to life), I'm thinking in advance, I'm on both sides: the detective and the serial killer and... GOSH. I really think it will have sense and be worth to waste some time on reading it, lol!

Also there is Snarry AUctoberfest on the way and, you know, I decided I'll try to write something for the fest for the first time! (It's my year of many first times and I really like it!) Funny thing, it appears that my fic for the fest will be a little test to what I want to do with "Infraction." When it occured to me (don't ask how it happen, but the idea I've had in mind turned 180 degree and I couldn't help it! Had to just go for it 😂) I was stunned. But in the same way it's a great opportunity to try new things, see how it will go and how it will work before I'll jump back to my baby.

If anyone checked "Infraction", please don't be mad or sad or... disappointed or angry (?), that I'm not updating it yet. This fic is absolutely my main focus and I'm tinkering and working on it. As for everything, I need time (and probably cut some other projects while I will write it; so less drawing going to be main part of the writing process 🙃 I suppose in the last quarter of the year; except if I'll have my holiday from work!)

Ah, dang. I wrote a lot here, I suppose? Less shite than messy personal stuff, but still something I guess, I wanted to share? Even if I think it's pointless and worthless, because who cares, lol. I'm learning, trying to share, I think. I should, as I wasn't doing it at all and it suppose to help me to... leave the shell of person that other people think I am. Because I grew to be someone irl that I'm really tired of being. Of pretending to be. How stupid it all sounds it's beyond me and I still deny to admit it.

[regulusrules]

WIP TAG GAME 🌿

rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips

Thanks for the tag loves! @poetry-my-lord @rapha-reads

Holy shit, I have so many WIPs I should actually be banned (or forced on a chair to sit tf down and write). I've got a whole file called magic reveal every episode — most of which are untitled. and i have another folder of wips like the julius caesar fic (full AUs) but these are later to be revealed.

For now, here are some of the magic reveals:

S01E01 - the dragon's call

arthur sees merlin saving him with magic in the banquet.

S01E03 - the mark of nimueh

arthur uses his brain cells and actually figures out that when merlin nearly broke the fucking door to the throne room screaming i have magic!!!, he actually meant it.

S02E08 - the sins of the father

merlin reveals the truth of ygraine's story after the vision of morgause, and arthur gets to, for once, have actual agency in the decisions he make.

S02E09 - the lady of the lake

merlin tells arthur that he fucking killed the girl he loved.

S02E12 - the fires of idrisholas

arthur actually sees merlin's golden eyes that were right. in front. of. his. eyes.

S03E02 - the tears of uther pendragon

merlin collapses in front of arthur after the serket sting.

S04E03 - the wicked day (TYISMSO)

merlin reveals his magic to arthur right before his coronation.

S04E06 - a servant of two masters

THEY FUCKING TELL ARTHUR THAT MERLIN WAS ENCHANTED AND HE TRIES TO HELP MERLIN AS HE WOULD HAVE

S04E10 - the herald of a new age

merlin has faith from arthur's words to the spirit that possessed elyan and tells him the second day

S05E03 - the death song of uther pendragon (MHIRY)

uther succeeds in saying merlin has magic!, momentarily stunning arthur, which was all it took for uther to stab merlin in his heart. arthur deals with merlin bleeding in his arms and the magic reveal at the same time.

S05E05 - the disir

arthur actually notices that merlin was fucking breaking down in front of him while saying that there can be no magic in camelot. fucking hell

S05E12 - diamond of the fucking day

BAMF merlin reaction after arthur tells him I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met.. guess I was wrong.

S05E13 - diamond of the fucking day

fucking hell, do I need to explain what I want to do with this one? so many fix-its at this point i can't even

I could be persuaded on which to finish after MBARBYC 👀

No pressure tags: @remuscariad @clockwrkpendrxgon @lightasthesun @aramblingjay @mistydaysofavalon @theroundbartable @prattery @katherynefromphilly @magicalmischel @queerofthedagger @ironfamjam

[chiaraanatra]

And He Strikes Out Again

Summary: Brief exchange between Cormac McLaggen & gn!Reader.

Warnings: Swearing (kinda, you call him a prick).

Word Count: 305

AN: This blurb came out of nowhere and has been sitting on my desktop. What can I say? Freddie Stroma is a cutie and I'm a sucker for a pretty fuckboy. I hope you enjoy!

《 m.list || ao3 》

“And he strikes out again.” You were looking up from your spot on the stairs after watching Cormac attempt, and fail, to win Granger’s affection.

Cormac rolled his eyes, “Shut it…”

“I’m sorry Cormac she’s just not into you. Everyone can see she has a thing for Weasley. Well, everyone except maybe him and Potter. They share about 5 brain cells between them and I’m quite positive they are fighting for control of that fifth one.” You glanced in the direction that Granger bolted. “Then again, dumb seems to be her type.” You stood up with your potion’s books in hand walking towards the taller blonde.  

“How do you know so much…? Better yet,” he turned his attention to you, “why would I listen to a word you have to say?” He glares down at you fixing his robes.

You let out a small breathy laugh. “You might be pretty Cormac, but you’re still a prick.” He couldn’t help but get caught up on the fact that you called him pretty. As demeaning as it was, it fueled just as much intrigue. “And I doubt I’m the first one to tell you that.”

But you were. You were the first person who didn’t either swoon at his feet or bolt the minute they saw him. No, you played his game, and you played it just as well, if not better. As much as you aggravated him with your snide comments, he couldn’t deny that you made him feel a certain way.

“Better luck next time.” You patted him on the shoulder and gave him a smile, “Merlin knows you’ll try again. If not on Granger, then another unfortunate soul.” You turned to walk towards your next class not stopping to look at the blonde who couldn’t help but stare as he watched you walk away.

𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜

[lovegingey22]

Merlin fanfic idea

I have a Merlin fanfiction idea I wanted to share. I don’t know if it has already been done, but I find the idea interesting so I’m going to share it anyway lol.

So, Merlin fans far and wide, do you remember the episode where Merlin gets Gwen to kiss Arthur (via magic) and appears like Merlin felt the kiss through the magic? Then later Arthur kisses Gwen again but he feels it isn’t the same? Well, I always felt they were implying that Merlin’s friendship/brotherly type love broke the spell as he truely does love Arthur.

However, my idea is of course going along the lines of that’s not the case. The fanfiction idea is that Merlin does truly love Arthur but it takes kissing Arthur through Gwen to figure himself out and realise his love for Arthur is far more mere friendship or brotherly love. It’s a love above all others and Merlin kind of struggles knowing how to be around Arthur for a while but does his best to hide how he’s struggling with himself a little right now. (Of course Arthur picks up on Merlin’s sudden distancing but can’t figure out what’s wrong).

As for Arthur, he can’t stop thinking about that first kiss with Gwen and how different the second one felt. How it didn’t even feeling like he was kissing the same person, and maybe to some degree, deep down he knows that somehow he wasn’t kissing her. That it was someone else. However, Merlin sudden distancing, distracts Arthur from using any brain cells.

This is only a rough idea so I don’t know the ins and outs of what happens next but basically, something something something, Arthur has to kiss Merlin for some reason (could be mouth to mouth, to break a spell, or because he realises he cares for Merlin far more then maybe he should and therefor may actually have feelings for the clumsy man servant) and with that kiss realises it was Merlin all along. Merlin had been the one he kissed! It feels just like the first one with Gwen. Maybe he even realises in that moment that magic was involved and that Merlin was the one using the magic but that’s okay because Arthur trust Merlin more than anyone he’s ever met and knows in his heart Merlin would never hurt anyone. Yes, he would like some answers, like why he would practice magic here of all places, but for now that doesn’t matter. He’s kissing Merlin and Merlin is kissing back. The love is mutual, and right now that’s all that matters in this world.

Ta-dah! That’s the idea. If someone knows of a story like this please let me know as I’d love to read it. If someone would like to run with idea and fill in all the blanks please do! Just don’t forget to tag me for the idea and to let me know so that I can read it when it’s done! 😁

[cbk1000]

@aemelia is standing over me cracking a bullwhip and forcing me to write about two morons having sex on a luxury train, so here's another little preview of that. The other two previews posted earlier can be found here and here.

But Merlin ruined it for him, by anticipating what had been a brilliant plan, and therefore one which ought to have been safely out of the reach of his brain. All morning Arthur avoided him by moving swiftly along to another car when he saw the dark head entering his, and answering Morgana’s Where the hell are you texts with, Sorry, you must have just missed me till she gave up even sending them. 

Then when everyone disembarked at the village, he hurried back to their room, and found Merlin sat on the scene of the crime. He froze. Merlin was fiddling the phone in his hand all round, but looking up steadily at him, with unrelenting eye contact. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Arthur stuck his hands in his pockets. “I just came back for a shower.”

“Yeah, I figured. That’s why I’m here. Thought you might not get off the train with everyone else, considering the fact that I haven’t seen you all morning even though we share a room and we’re on a train with very limited hiding places.”

Arthur shifted from foot to foot. “I wasn’t hiding, I was having a chat with that couple from California.”

“Oh yeah?” Merlin raised an eyebrow. “So you were stationary, in one spot, chatting to this couple, and I missed you every time I went through every car looking for you? That’s interesting.”

Arthur looked away.

Merlin sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look. I can ask Gwaine if he’ll switch rooms. I could stay with him, and you with Morgana.”

“And how are you going to explain why we’re switching rooms?”

“I’ll just say you snore and I forgot my earplugs. Morgana has those earbuds that play white noise or whatever. She’ll be fine.”

“Well, I won’t; I can’t stay with Morgana. We’ll kill one another.”

“Fine, then I’ll stay with Morgana.”

“You’re going to share a bed with Morgana?”

“We’re both adults. We can platonically share a bed.”

“Yes, you certainly have a stellar track record of that,” Arthur pointed out, waspishly. 

“Well, Morgana’s dating Gwaine, and she’s a lot smarter than you, so I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Merlin snapped.

“What do you mean ‘smarter than me’, like it’s my fault, when it was your idea!” Arthur cried.

“Well, you could have said, ‘No, Merlin, don’t suck my dick’ like a reasonable person. I’d been drinking and I hadn’t been laid in a while, so you had our brain cell, and you should have used it.”

Arthur frowned down at him. “So you did it because you were drunk?” 

Merlin rubbed his face with both hands. “I wasn’t drunk drunk, but do you think I would have done that sober? When you said you’d never come from a blowjob, the alcohol took over my mouth, and I just blurted that out, and then when you didn’t tell me to fuck off like a sane person, my dick took over from there.”

“So you’re saying that you, an entire, whole, adult man, are not in charge of your own actions?”

“When I haven’t had sex in over six months and someone offers to blow me, no, I am not in charge, my penis is.” He was striving for a light tone, but must have seen on Arthur’s face that it was not landing as he had meant it to; that he was doing more harm than good: all of which was being done to Arthur’s throat, which felt suddenly as hot, and tight, and tremulous as it had in the dining car. He rubbed his face again. “Look, you have to stop avoiding me. We’ve been mates over a decade, and we’ve never let being dumbarses fuck it up before. So either we switch rooms, or one of us kips on the sofa, but we don’t tiptoe round one another, or duck into another car all week every time we see the other one coming, because we were horny.” He clasped his hands between his knees. “It’s just getting off. Stimulation is stimulation and all that. I mean, it was a bit gay for you to blow me, but other than that, you’re fine.”

Arthur scowled at him.

“You kept your socks on, and that’s the first rule of ‘no homo.’”

“Oh, is it?” Arthur snapped. “Well, you had yours off, so what does that mean?”

“That I’m comfortably bisexual and I don’t have to have a crisis about getting a blowjob from a man.”

“I rather think the problem is specifically which man gave you the blowjob.”

[earlgreyinpajamas]

modern au where merlin is irish? :)

It's a long way to Tipperary by TyalanganD (@tyalangand)

Merlin is on a winter holiday with Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Elena, and Mithian. And he's feeling like a charity case.

Or,

Arthur is a prat with a hot arse, Merlin doesn't know how to ski, and the Alps are really nice. Especially if you have money.

~~~

so this is a cute fluff fic to warm your heart!!!

2. Not Every Win Gets a Medal by ingberry

It wasn’t that Arthur was obsessed; it was just that he couldn’t stop thinking about the Irish archer with those full, gorgeous lips. He’d nearly spaced out during an early qualifying heat thinking about what he’d like to do to that mouth (and also the rest of him). The opportunity to do anything about it had never presented itself and, shamefully, Arthur was pretty sure he’d sacrifice his medals for it to happen at this point.

~~~

arthur's one brain cell be like

3. Wedding Bells Ringing Out Our Fate by thenerdyindividual (@thenerdyindividual)

Merlin is Arthur’s best man. It makes sense, after all they’ve been best mates since uni. The problem? Merlin’s been in love with him almost as long as Gwen has.

~~~

merlin is northern irish here, so i hope that'll count, but i couldnt not rec this fic

[evedaser]

just watched the Doctor Who episode with the repeating-words creature (4x11) and it’s my new brainrot that David Tennant has been on the set of Colin Morgan’s Merlin and Colin Morgan has been on the set of David Tennant’s Doctor Who. no i’m not ok no i will never recover why was i literally an infant when this was happening and not there with them

i think this was a couple months before morgan got the role of merlin. did david tennant’s doctor who help colin morgan become merlin??? these two take up literally the entirety of my brain at all times what am i supposed to do with this information

this episode was so painful, truly showing the worst in humanity. their two characters were the only ones with both a brain cell and a heart, the only ones making it bearable. everyone else either had just a brain or neither. also they were both gorgeous in this episode as usual. no one’s surprised. ALSO COLIN MORGAN AS A GOTH TEEN??? would rewatch it a hundred times just for them

[georgies-ftts]

Some absolute ass gave me a cold so I’m spending my time documenting what Percy Jackson cabins I think other fictional characters belong to and Merlin had to be the first so…

Merlin: Hecate (would be Athena but he’s a fucking idiot sometimes.)

Arthur: Athena (Incredible battle smarts, strategy and skill but no common sense, smart blonde himbo.)

Morgana: Tyche (She ran into Arthur and Merlin way too many times to not have the goddess of luck on her side,)

Gwen: Iris (literally no explanation needed, especially for s1-s3 Gwen)

Gwaine: Hermes (would be Dionysus but he spends more time saying the most ridiculous things and yes my man’s constantly drunk but that’s the state i want to be in so I’m not letting him win.)

Elyan: Iris (Again no explanation)

Percival: Ares (he’s the soft son of Ares, Incredible fighter, only a son of ares would refuse to ever wear sleeves, especially in the dead of Winter.)

Lancelot: Athena (Literally the only ones in Camelot with a brain cell which went with him when he died… both times.)

Gaius: Apollo (Apparently the only one in Camelot who knows how to put a bandage on??? Maybe he should pass on some of his medical knowledge so people stop dying before they can get back to Camelot.)

Uther: Nemesis (Mother is the goddess of revenge and the whole show is literally based on Uther and his revenge genocide on magic users after Ygraine so… pretty accurate if you ask me.)

Mordred: Hecate (literally a druid, albeit a fucking angry one who was trusted with sharp objects for some reason…)

Edit: I completely forgot my g Leon

he’s 10/10 Apollo… purely based off his reaction to Merlin saying he’s teaching Arthur poetry and his reaction to Merlin juggling. absolute pure joy and also just he has those vibes

[moondal514]

Just Leave a Comment Fest 2024 4/20 Mini Edition

Final overall comment total for @justleaveacommentfest: 23

Here’s a multi-fandom fic rec list of a few of the fics I read, loved, and commented on that were on theme for each day of the fest:

Day 1: wips

Fandom: Tian Guan Ci Fu

JUN WU SOCIAL REINTEGRATION THERAPY ATTEMPT NUMBER ONE, FOR FUN (AND FOR PROFIT) by VampireFaun/ @vampirefaun (WIP)

Mei Nianqing INSISTS that Jun Wu can get better! All he needs is a comfortable hut, and a few calming medicinal herbs, and a job, and a bunch of group meetings where he talks to others about his problems, and a few fun outings, and Mei Nianqing to keep him out of trouble, and…the approval of the heavenly court, once he informs them of this arrangement…eventually…

Jun Wu wishes Mei Nianqing had just left him sealed under the mountain.

The Jun Wu redemption fic I didn’t know I needed

Fandom: Mysterious Lotus Casebook

The Spring Poplars of Summer by Aerlalaith, reasonablyaloof/ @aerlalaith, @themagicwhiskers

“Well?” Di Feisheng rumbled.

“Ah,” Li Lianhua said, now sounding short of breath. “Well, if Di-Mengzhu is recalling the sweet promises we made to one another after drinking the wedding wine then I guess—”

Fang Duobing froze. The what promises made to who after the what?

(Fang Duobing eavesdrops, comes to several incorrect conclusions, and can’t stop drinking vinegar about it. Or thinking about it. Or—)

Hilarious and perfect post-canon ot3 get-together fic

Day 2: modern au’s

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi

a life in your shape by occultings/ @microcomets

Wei Ying confesses his feelings in the bathroom of a sushi restaurant. Not to who you might initially think, but he gets there in the end.

So cute, I had to use all my strength not to squeal in public while reading this

Fandom: BBC Merlin

The Fools Will Be Still Fools by horsecrazy/ @cbk1000

In which the gang goes on a luxury train holiday, and Merlin and Arthur share a cabin and a double bed, but not a single brain cell.

A hilarious and beautifully written idiots to lovers story that soothes the soul

Day 3: read a fic, send a fic

Fandom: Greek Mythology

books & boys (they bring me so much joy) by skazka

Sing, o Muse, of the wrath of a philosophy major upon realizing his roommate/boyfriend has borrowed his copy of Fear & Trembling and has no intention of giving it back. Scenes from one highly troubled semester.

I’m still dying over the idea of Achilles as a frat boy

Fandom: Good Omens

i love(d) you by extraordinarilyextreme/ @extraordinarilyextreme

This is everything they’ve poured into their Force-bond, every mission they’ve gone on together, every chat and meal and mediation and training session; they are two sides of the same blade. There is no Crowley without Aziraphale, no Aziraphale without Crowley.

(or, a Jedi Knight who has lost his faith in the Force and a Sith Lord who clings desperately to it.)

Never seen a fic so tailor-made for me to rec to one of my friends

[the-francakes]

Draco’s breath hitches. He’s close to that sweet release that will make this day better. He’s falling into the deepness of the sort of orgasm that will melt his body and allow him to relax enough to finally sleep. His bed is dark but welcoming, without so many goddamn pillows. It’s not the fluffy mess of clouds that Granger’s is, even if he’d like to put one of those pillows under her hips as he fucked her.

Dammit. He needs to stop thinking about her soft bed. He needs to stop thinking about Granger at all. He’s so hard, it hurts, even with his hand on himself, chasing release. He needs to–

"Malfoy, did you just Apparate into my bed?!"

Draco can barely focus on the outraged voice because his orgasm hits him like a bludger. He comes all over his hand, stomach, and thighs like a teenager that’s touched himself for the first time. His moan cracks, and his eyes roll back into his head as he leans back and appreciates the glory of a fantastic orgasm.

When his breathing settles, and his brain cells start working again, barely, he opens his eyes and realizes he is no longer in his bedroom. He is not alone.

He is naked, ccome pooling on his stomach, and on Hermione Granger’s bed.

And she’s sitting right next to him in flannel pajamas gaping like a goldfish.

“Did you just– Oh my– Was that– Are you–” she sputters and is so red in the cheeks even her dark coloring can’t hide her blush.

Draco swallows down any embarrassment quickly and efficiently.

“Well, that’s a first,” is all he says because what else is there?

He hasn’t had a case of accidental magic since school.

And never while wanking. Merlin, murder him with a basilisk fang.

“Malfoy!” Granger gasps. He’s positive from how wide her eyes are that her brain has short-circuited. He can’t blame her for that, though; he has a lovely and erotic orgasm face– yes, he has watched himself come in the mirror just to check– and his naked body is nothing to sneeze at. He spends much of his free time at the gym for these sorts of situations.

Or, well, close to this. Usually, the female is much more excited and interested.

“You’ll recover,” he says, casting a wandless cleaning spell on himself before he gets up off her bed, cupping his cock and balls to hide them away for a sense of decorum. She hadn’t asked to see him, and he has a feeling she’s the sort to say this was sexual assault. Accidental, but still, exposing himself to a witch could get him locked up in the drunk tank. Draco knows this because he’s bailed Goyle out. Twice.

“Recover? My sheets won’t!” she gasps, getting off the bed and following him out the door of her room to the Floo.

“I’ll buy you new sheets.” He rolls his silver eyes like they’re discussing a coffee spill.

“You can’t just barge into my bedroom and–” she waves her hands around, too prude to say it.

“Orgasm?” he offers.

READ ON AO3 - EXPLICIT - 10K ONE SHOT

[teeth--thief]

Have you seen Tetris (2023)? Unrelated: what music do you like, or listen to?

-R

I have seen Tetris, yes! Just a few weeks ago, sometime in March, matter of fact, so your timing is particularly incredible. It first haunted me in music form, believe it or not, I kept getting songs from its soundtrack recommend on Spotify.

While I usually really don't like the KGB is in your walls stuff that the Western films always insist on showing, I'll make an exception for this movie because it's pretty fun. I actually liked the Evil Liar KGB had going on, I thought it was very funny. I do have one complaint about the whole thing, though. I wish the pixel animation was utilised throughout the whole movie, not just in That One Scene... :( Just small, little bits (ha) would have been fine...

Fun (not really) fact: I was first introduced to the character of Robert Maxwell through this movie (you have to forgive me for not giving many fucks about the aristocrats of Britain). I have then immediately learnt that his daughter is Ghislaine Maxwell. The Ghislaine Maxwell. Jeffrey Epstein's partner (in crime). How delightful...

What music do I like... That's a terrible question to ask me because I'm very passionate about music... I have playlists for everything I like, even Chernobyl related one... there's not a free minute in my day that I'm not listening to something. I associate music with everything.

I mean, judging solely by the fact that my wardrobe consists of one too many Sabaton and Rammstein shirts, I'd have to say I'm particularly fond of metal. And punk. And rock. I occasionally listen to Hollywood Undead because I discovered it when I was a... young teen, much too young to be listening to that kind of stuff lmao, and so I feel oddly nostalgic about them.

I really like the... weird and experimental stuff? If it has some kind of a connection with nature, I will probably like it. I've been a long time fan of Cosmo Sheldrake - and he just released a brand new album Eye To The Ear on the 12th of April AND a new single just a few days ago... it's everything I could have expected and more, truly. His brother, Merlin (whimsical names is the theme) is a biologist and he wrote a book about fungi, which I really like, but haven't finished because I didn't have the time nor brain capacity to take in all that new information.

And continuing with the theme of slighly weird, I also enjoy video games/movies OSTs. The creepier the better. Little Nightmares (I&II) soundtrack? Perfection. I talk a lot of shit about HBO's Chernobyl but that show's OST is phenomenal (and that's the last nice thing I have to say about it 🙄). From not horror-esque soundtracks: stuff from DOOM.

I've also been mesmerised by the Polish folk music used throughout The Peasants and have been regularly listening to the whole soundtrack. I need to rewatch that movie ASAP... more on movie tracks, I also really like Mad Max: Fury Road's and Moon (2009)'s OSTs.

I also like older, classic bands... Pet Shop Boys, Soft Cell, Bronski Beat, Depeche Mode... Kult, if we're talking local... And because I AM beating the toxic masculinity allegations: MARINA, Paris Paloma, Caro Emerald and sometimes even Lana Del Rey and Mitski. Other than that, I'm rarely attached to one particular artist or band, I usually like two or three songs and hate the rest haha

I'm gonna add a bunch of songs I like under the cut as a little treat, just because: