#messages in the roots : meme

[cautiously0ptimistic]

hopped onto the bandwagon, i did~

[madame-fear]

I’M SOBBING PLEASEEEE HSJWDKDKF THIS IS SO TRUE ☠☠ As much as I love the portrayal of dragons in European folklore, the ones from Asian folklore are my favourite, they all look so long & wiggly AHHJSK 😭😭

[inaredflush]

tag drop: out of character 

[boxboxlewis]

Daniel finds out about Max’s divorce from a Google alert.

“FORMER F1 CHAMPION NEWLY SINGLE, SEEN HITTING THE BARS IN MONACO.” Journalistic excellence from the Daily Mail, as always. But when actual newspapers start reporting on it, Daniel decides to reach out. He texts Max a cat meme. Subtext: sorry about your failed relationship, also I know you like cats. Max texts back Are you trying to cheer me up, and then 😂. It’s unclear if he’s 😂 at the cat or the notion of Daniel attempting to comfort. While Daniel is trying to figure this out a third text comes in. Stop reading stupid shit by dumb assholes who don’t know anything.

Nah it’s all good, I can’t read, Daniel replies. He hesitates, and then adds I am like. Sorry about stuff with kelly or whatever though.

Max thumbs-up reacts the message, and doesn’t reply.

Daniel figures Max’ll probably just start dating another exquisitely beautiful, exquisitely groomed woman with a disconcerting resemblance to his own mother. They’re ten a penny in Monaco, where Max still for some reason lives. 

He’s not prepared for the next tranche of articles his Google Alert brings him. “MAX VERSTAPPEN SEEN LEAVING GAY BAR.” “VERSTAPPEN REFUSES TO ADDRESS RUMOURS.” “VETTEL COMES TO VERSTAPPEN’S DEFENCE: ‘HE HAS A RIGHT TO A PRIVATE LIFE.’” Like… people go to gay bars sometimes, even if they’re straight. But do straight people let Seb Vettel defend their honour in the media?

Daniel opens his text thread with Max and types Hey, are you. You know. 

He deletes it, obviously. He’s got a lot going on in his own life. Brand ambassadorships out the ass, his film production company, his vineyard. He sends Max another dumb meme and calls it good. Max is just doing Max stuff. It’s some belated F1 champion rumspringa, probably, because when he was an actual teenager he was psychotically focussed on racing. He’ll settle down soon enough.

Daniel really isn’t expecting him to announce live on Dutch television that he has a boyfriend. The clip is in Dutch, obviously, but someone has added English captions, and Daniel watches over and over again. RIP his YouTube algorithm. It’s some daytime talk show, the kind of thing Max hates, the kind of thing he’d never do unless someone was twisting his arm about it. The host asks all sickly sweet if there’s a special someone in Max’s life. Max says, “Well yes of course there is my boyfriend.” The “of course” in Dutch sounds like naturally. Naturally, naturally. “And my family I am very close to, as well.” The camera dwells with voyeuristic glee on the talkshow host’s face as she tries and fails to pick her expression up from the floor. “Your boyfriend?” she manages. Max nods, impatient. Daniel rewinds the clip. Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend?

Daniel decides to visit Monaco. Not because of Max. It’s summer and the swing of the season is funnelling him that way, that’s all, towards the parties and the glittering people dancing on yachts, getting high, bright and beautiful, living that good life. He doesn’t have an apartment there anymore, but Max does, because Max never left: still has his custom penthouse with its views of the harbour. Unless—it’s a weird thought—unless Kelly kept it in the divorce. But when he texts Max to invite himself to stay, Max doesn’t mention anything about a new address. 

Max also doesn’t sound, like, super enthused, but that’s just how he is. It’s his natural Dutchness, most likely. Fine you can come then. You are lucky I don’t have plans is probably just the Dutch way of saying “Yeah sounds great, looking forward to reconnecting.” You are very annoying is probably how people from the Netherlands express affection. Daniel texts back Love you too my brother 🤘🤘

He gets his hair touched up before he goes, a little bit of tattooing at the roots in the front. He does a spray tan, and gets his face dermaplaned (not in that order). You can’t go to Monaco and not look good, that's all.

It always feels kind of weird, flying into Nice in a non-F1 context, first class instead of private, but Daniel fits, still: gets asked for his autograph at the airport, and then on the concourse, and when he stops to put petrol in his rental car (a sweet little Porsche, nice). He tosses his keys to the valet at Max’s building and the valet goggles. That’s right, baby: twelve-time Grand Prix winner Daniel Ricciardo is in town. Daniel winks and the valet turns gratifyingly mauve.

Max, when Daniel pushes into his apartment, is less enthusiastic. “Daniel. I really do not know why you’ve come.”

Daniel ignores him in favour of crouching down, trying to pet Jimmy or Sassy. “Hey, little guy,” he croons. “Or girl. What’s up? Do you remember Uncle Danny? Am I in town to show your daddy a good time? Yeah I am! That’s right. That’s right.” Jimmy or Sassy scowls at him and swipes with one needle-tipped paw. All right, drama queen. Daniel stands back up and grins at Max. “I mean, mostly I wanted to meet your boyfriend,” he says, for some reason. What the fuck, Ricciardo. He keeps grinning, styles it out. “Gotta give him the old shovel speech, right?”

Max is doing the blank-eyed stare Daniel remembers so well from their racing days. It’s wildly disconcerting coming from this Max, who looks. Different, that’s all. He’s thick, still fit and well-muscled but heavy with it now, t-shirt stretched over the layer of hard fat covering his abdomen, face softer. He’s a bear of a man, he could—he could do lots of things, obviously. It’s fine. It’s just that part of Daniel still expects him to be the gawky teenager Daniel loomed over.

Max says, “What do you want to say to my boyfriend about shovels,” and for a bewildering moment Daniel has no idea what he’s talking about. 

“Oh, no, it’s like—it’s a saying, or whatever, when someone starts dating someone. I mean, usually dads say it, I guess, but like—the idea is if he mistreats you I’ll…” Daniel trails off as he realises he’s not actually sure what “shovel speech” means. “Uh, hit him with a shovel? Or I guess potentially, like, use it to bury his corpse. Whiiiich is a joke! Not actually going to bury anyone.” No, weird comment, Daniel’s not actually going to bury anyone t-shirt is raising a lot of questions et cetera. Hastily, he adds “As long as he behaves!” and then stands there mentally kicking himself while Jimmy/Sassy yowls soulfully near his ankles. He's never like this, he never loses control of a conversation like this. It's agonising.

Max stares at him for a long moment, and then cracks up. “Daniel, you are still so weird,” he says. It sounds kind of affectionate. 

“You know it, baby,” Daniel says. “So, where’s the boyf?

Max’s cheeks go a little red, it looks like. Maybe Daniel’s imagining it. “Ricardo is at the gym,” he says.

Daniel has to have misheard that. “Sorry, what’s this dude’s name?”

“Ricardo,” Max says grumpily. “My boyfriend.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Once again Daniel decides, against his better judgement, to style it out. “Uh, is he Australian, by any chance? And devastatingly charismatic?”

Max sighs, as if Daniel is being really annoying. “He is from Melbourne. And yeah, he is okay I think. Maybe you won’t like him though, because you like always to be the funniest one. Come on, I will show you to your guest room.”

Daniel manages a casual-sounding, “Haha, you got me.” They’re walking through the apartment, now, Max leading the way. For a moment Daniel just watches the sunburned back of his neck.

[ravenkings]

Debate rages over the extent to which the protests on the political left constitute coded or even direct attacks on Jews. But far less attention has been paid to a trend on the right: For all of their rhetoric of the moment, increasingly through the Trump era many Republicans have helped inject into the mainstream thinly veiled anti-Jewish messages with deep historical roots. The conspiracy theory taking on fresh currency is one that dates back hundreds of years and has perennially bubbled into view: that a shady cabal of wealthy Jews secretly controls events and institutions contrary to the national interest of whatever country it is operating in. The current formulation of the trope taps into the populist loathing of an elite “ruling class.” “Globalists” or “globalist elites” are blamed for everything from Black Lives Matter to the influx of migrants across the southern border, often described as a plot to replace native-born Americans with foreigners who will vote for Democrats. The favored personification of the globalist enemy is George Soros, the 93-year-old Hungarian American Jewish financier and Holocaust survivor who has spent billions in support of liberal causes and democratic institutions. This language is hardly new — Mr. Soros became a boogeyman of the American far right long before the ascendancy of Mr. Trump. And the elected officials now invoking him or the globalists rarely, if ever, directly mention Jews or blame them outright. Some of them may not immediately understand the antisemitic resonance of the meme, and in some cases its use may simply be reflexive political rhetoric. But its rising ubiquity reflects the breaking down of old guardrails on all types of degrading speech, and the cross-pollination with the raw, sometimes hate-filled speech of the extreme right, in a party under the sway of the norm-defying former, and perhaps future, president.

– Karen Yourish, Danielle Ivory, Jennifer Valentino-DeVries, and Alex Lemonides, "How Republicans Echo Antisemitic Tropes Despite Declaring Support for Israel," The New York Times, May 9, 2024

[evangelifloss]

Oh my God guys they actually chose a child actress for presumably Maria. This is fantastic news

Maria's bond to Shadow and relevance to his character, is intrinsically tied into the anti-military message of the OG SaB2 storyline. Ageing her up would have been tragic, of course, but it wouldn't carry the same weight. Maria didn't choose to live on the ARK, she wasn't an adult who was in charge of how she wanted to live or where she wanted to go. Gerald Robotnik made those decisions for her with her best interests at heart as any good parent (or in this case, grandfather) would do. She was terminally ill. She was on the ARK so that she could receive immediate treatment for her terminal illness once Robotnik found a cure via Project Shadow. And you know, the ARK would've been an incredibly sterile place-- another safeguard to keep her alive. It's even said the lighter gravity on-board helped ease her progressing disease.

And due to decisions made by the U.S Military based on arbitrary reasoning, they shot her. Point blank. She had no weapon, she was running away, and she was twelve years old.

She was only on the ARK because the same people that authorised her murder, had authorised Project Shadow ergo, the ARK, to begin with.

Robotnik wanted to heal. To help. He took the offer from the U.S Military to lead the Project, because an 'Utimate Life-Form' would theoretically be medically Perfect. No genetic mishaps, no illnesses, viruses, or anything to threaten its life outside of physical attacks. Something like that, could become a blueprint for cures. He could cure Maria, and ontop of that, start to heal others like her.

The caveat of course, was to create a lifeform with immortality and he decided if there was a chance to give his granddaughter an opportunity to grow up and see adulthood, the price was worth paying.

However his experiments whilst chaotic in nature did too well and the whole thing was shut down. All personnel related to Project Shadow with the exception of Robotnik himself, were to be killed. Age, race, relation, rank, if you worked on Project Shadow or knew what it was, you were to be shot on sight.

And that's why sonic/shadow fans go so rabid for ANY Sab2 content as this backstory ties into the whole plot of the game whose main links run straight to Maria Robotnik's fate.

Granted, it has become somewhat of a meme regarding how many times we get to see her die and in how many formats of that horrific sequence of events but the root message behind it carries more weight than many post Sab2 games. In fact, we rarely get to see such narrative driven themes from SEGA due to its constant mis-handling of the sonic franchise.

So yea, shoot that blond child on screen in cinemas. I want that white girl ELIMINATED on screen in front of parents who thought it was going to be a "lol sonic go fast" movie. The Masses Must Know that Sonic games Can and Will Go Hard (when Sega puts effort in.)

[simplegenius042]

Late Music Monday and Partners-In-Law Meme

Tagged by @imogenkol

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @noodlecupcakes @direwombat @voidika @la-grosse-patate @inafieldofdaisies @cassietrn @adelaidedrubman @shellibisshe @josephseedismyfather @icecutioner @derelictheretic @shallow-gravy @strangefable @rhettsabbott @josephslittledeputy @cloudofbutterflies92 @skoll-sun-eater @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @raresvtm @softtidesworld @starsandskies @ladyoriza @florbelles @minilev @yokobai @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @justasmolbard @alypink and @sledge-in-space + anyone who'd like to join.

Late Music Monday, songs for characters from The UnTitledverse, The Silver Chronicles and Life, Despair & Monsters. Not in that order though. Partners-In-Law Meme for my V, Judy and River. Songs and template below the cut:

Welp, here I go rambling about the parallels of Silva and Paul once more. Alright so, I think by now we've mostly gotten well-aware that Silva (and Paul) have not had good experiences in regards to religion. Most certainly due to the fact they were both born in a cult that abides by puritanism and fascist beliefs, which, by the time of Paul's birth, also gained a militaristic mindset with the introduction of the Enforcers when Adam took charge as their Prophet. The Congregation of Adam's Guard, on surface level, preaches and demands virtue and righteousness from its followers, to effectively become morally pure under their Prophet's watching eyes, especially if they wanted to see Paradise after the world falls to the Collapse when all seven Frozen Omens melt. To not adhere to or display any other qualities other than their "norm" was punished with extreme force, and by the time Adam came into charge, with death. Which explains why under the surface of the cult's message, is a foundation rooted in colonialism and xenophobia, tied up in a bow of hypocrisy that is used to justify all kinds of depraved and heinous actions the Congregation and their Prophet allows. Silva and Paul are both victims of the Congregations persecutions and discrimination. Both had been under the God-fearing foot of the Congregation, with Paul being amongst the segregated Tumultites and Silva enduring under Adam Omar's terror. Both Silva and Paul eventually reject the Congregation, (a) because the Congregation wants them dead, (b) long-term wise, especially under Adam's tyranny, the Congregation and the society it has built through fearmongering cannot survive the inevitable collapse from the insufficient resources that protects them from the environment and the spark of rebellion due to the less fortunate citizens living under the pressure of becoming "pure" and (c) the Congregation sucks. Silva and Paul instead adopt the Tumultite community's values and beliefs, especially of their first revolutionary leader, Jannah, who Paul especially aspires to be like. Finally, Paul and Silva, once in the modern world, while not believers in the predominant religions (especially in America), do not hold any ill-thought towards such groups; Silva rather admires some of the lessons spoken and wishes she could have the same comfort that their God gives to others, meanwhile Paul is only hostile to people who hide behind God to harm and oppress others... otherwise he's pretty agnostic to the whole thing. One things clear though; their experiences with the Congregation had irreversibly shattered their perceptions of being able to seek any kind of comfort under any deity, especially with the associated pain that haunts them to this day. The song below can fit either one of Silva or Paul or even both.

"First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh-ooh The way that things have been, oh-ooh

Second things second Don't you tell me what you think that I could be I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh-ooh The master of my sea, oh-ooh

I was broken from a young age Taking my sulking to the masses Writing my poems for the few That look at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me Singing from heartache, from the pain Taking my message from the veins Speaking my lesson from the brain Seeing the beauty through the...

Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer Pain! You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer Pain! Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain My life, my love, my drive, it came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Third things third Send a prayer to the ones up above All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh-ooh Your spirit up above, oh-ooh

I was choking in the crowd Building my rain up in the cloud Falling like ashes to the ground Hoping my feelings, they would drown But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing Inhibited, limited till it broke open And rained down It rained down like...

Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer Pain! You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer Pain! Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain My life, my love, my drive, it came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Last things last By the grace of the fire and the flames You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh-ooh The blood in my veins, oh-ooh

But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing Inhibited, limited till it broke open And rained down It rained down like...

Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer Pain! You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer Pain! Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain My life, my love, my drive, it came from... Pain! You made me a, you made me a believer, believer!

Eden "Evie" Bloodleech, formerly known as Evie Jackson, was picked up and became an experiment for Sir Enigma Malvolio. Unfortunately, she survived the process and became one of his rare human successes, which was a mindset that was further encouraged by her apparent likeness for her "rebirth" and led him to continue his absurd quest to evolve humans to a level he sees as perfect for them, allowing Evie to officially join the Ruins of the Midnight Rise as both a valuable member and a prized success story. He sent her out in his stead for diplomatic purposes, allowing her to use her abilities to charm potential investors and allies to further his illicit research. Eventually she was sent back to her original universe in my An Invite To Wine And Dine WIP (set in The Invitation) to infiltrate the Alexander Family in order to dethrone Dracula and take the three families he held control under her wing... or rather tendril. And... she's rather a show-off (byproduct of being one of Malvolio's rare favorites I guess):

"There's only two types of people in the world The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe Well, baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl Don't like the backseat, gotta be first (Oh, oh) I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots (Call the shots) I'm like a firecracker, I make it hot

When I put on a show I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage Better be ready, hope that you feel the same

All eyes on me in the center of the ring Just like a circus When I crack that whip, everybody gon' trip Just like a circus Don't stand there watching me, follow me Show me what you can do Everybody let go, we make a dance floor Just like a circus."

And finally, a I'm sure I've used before, but am gonna do it again because "I'm So Sorry" not only slaps, but fits the main antagonist of The UnTitledverse's first saga, Edward Carmine, quite well, if you squint. He's a menace to society and should not be in charge of any leadership roles, even as a CEO. Edward's the type of man to burn all his bridges and blame a child he manipulated for it. Diabolical man that just won't get the hint and stay dead. Extremely petty and arrogant, as antagonists like him should be. By far, amongst one of my favourite antagonist OCs (though that's probably because he's one of the first ones to be developed). Listen below:

"About time for anyone telling you off for all your deeds No sign the roaring thunder stopped in cold to read (No time) I get mine and make no excuses Waste of precious breath (No time) The sun shines on everyone Everyone, love yourself to death

So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go You'll never be loved till you've made your own You gotta face up, you gotta get yours You never know the top till you get too low

A son of a stepfather A son of a, I'm so sorry A son of a stepfather A son of a, I'm so sorry

No lies and no deceiving, man is what he loves I keep tryin' to conceive that death is from above (No time) I get mine and make no excuses Waste of precious breath (No time) The sun shines on everyone Everyone, love yourself to death

So you gotta fire up, you gotta let go You'll never be loved till you've made your own You gotta face up, you gotta get yours You never know the top till you get too low

A son of a stepfather A son of a, I'm so sorry A son of a stepfather A son of a, I'm so sorry

Life isn't always what you think it'd be Turn your head for one second and the tables turn And I know, I know that I did you wrong But will you trust me when I say that I'll make it up to you Somehow? Somehow?"

And lastly, a Partners-In-Law meme for my V (actual name Min-Ji "Vasilisa" Choi), her new partner Judy Álvarez and her amicable ex River Ward. [Note: I'm assuming affection refers to their feelings for their mutual partner. Also I never romanced River and am just taking taking whatever information I can recall or from the internet in regards to his preferences and sexuality and the information I've found (especially the wiki compared to everything else) is quite conflicting so I'm going with Bi-curious]:

[asharkapologist]

Fandom Opinion Chart + Explanations Under the Cut

I love Giulietta, it's as simple as that,,, her character growth from her selfish attitude towards her sister before the game, to trying to make her way into high society, to returning to her roots but finding love in a man supposed to be her enemy, to trying to stop the gang war that takes almost everything from her, to later leading a resistance against a dictator is incredible to watch. She's the real main character of Crimson Banks and Capital Peak idc. She endures so so much heartache, I cried both times I played In Love and War, that case genuinely makes me feel ill, and yet she manages to get back up because she's just that strong. I hope she was happy after the game ended.

On the other hand, I despise Jack. He makes several sexist comments throughout the game (I've half a mind to compile them to prove my point), and I have no idea how someone as immature and annoying as him managed to get a job in Interpol. His relationship drama with Asal is insufferable to sit through, and the way he constantly whines about her in South America and North America months after they broke up made me want to throw my phone, especially with the awful way he treats her after she's stabbed and almost died. And then in Travel in Time, he's just boring.

I initially didn't like Samson at first because he killed one of my favorite characters for a stupid reason (accompanied by a confusing message--how was Malcolm supposed to know Archie's death was targeted towards him?) but now I love him because his plan was so dumb and he's fun to meme on and he's REALLY hot.

Nebet is like my favorite main antagonist and it's so sad that she's gone for like two whole districts because even though I saw it coming, her betrayal HURT. Like 99% of s6's writing effort went into her, and she would have been a good antagonist even if she hadn't returned after killing her father, but the fact that she comes back and kills her younger self because she changed in exile makes her such an interesting character. I want to know so much about her, her thoughts while she was working with the team, and especially her epiphanies in exile, how she changed in exile and decided to turn against her parents and their goals. That's incredible fanfic material. She's also incredibly beautiful just LOOK AT HER.

Trevor Finn sucks. Fake af shark "expert" who probably just gave himself that title after watching Jaws but never bothered doing any research about sharks because he just spews misinformation and stereotypes about sharks that aren't true. For some reason, Pacific Bay really hated sharks. But other than that, there's not much else to mention about him, when with Jack I at least have stuff to complain about.

I realllly don't like Rozetta and do NOT think she was redeemed, even if Denise was a greater evil. I feel like people brush over the fact that she was KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING HOMELESS PEOPLE TO DEATH. She abducted who knows how many people and conducted horrific, torturous human experimentation on them that only one person (Zoe) survived, and nothing indicated she felt any remorse for those crimes, she only started fighting against Denise when Denise betrayed her and her friends. And even though Zoe escaped, Rozetta started the chain of events that led to Zoe's death. However, that being said, Rozetta is really, really pretty.

Archie is a millionaire and yet he dresses so drab. Lawson isn't as rich as Archie, and yet he dresses more fancy. Also Archie's collar looks weird and like his tie would be strangling him or something

I don't really talk about Penelope, but she (besides Nebet) is my favorite main character of s6! I relate to her a lot because we both like history and writing. I think we'd get along great talking to each other about story ideas, fangirling about fandoms, and talking about history.

Seamus x Giulietta is my favorite because Giulietta is my favorite character and I'm a sucker for tragic, star-crossed lovers. Got really emotionally attached to them even though I knew they wouldn't have a happy ending. Honorable mentions go to Arthur x Bernadine, Archie x Elisa, and Hope x Gwen.

Speaking of Hope x Gwen, they should have been canon instead of Gwen x Pierce. I hate this ship so much. Hope and Gwen had much more chemistry, and the FIRST DISTRICT in s7 proved why Gwen and Pierce wouldn't work out, and then out of nowhere Pierce shows up??? And gets back with Gwen randomly??? Huh??? And they have a kid??? Why. Hope was RIGHT THERE if you wanted someone to comfort Gwen after her mother's death and the complicated relationship she had with her.

I also don't talk about her as much as I should, but I love Priya! I love her character arc, her relationship with Zander is very sweet and well built up throughout the season, and her being a werewolf made her character arc all the more interesting. She's also just a very genuinely kind person, and I feel like she would have been a really good chemistry tutor when I was struggling with it in school lol

Given how annoyed I get with classmates and coworkers who are poor communicators, I would despise being around someone like Frank who's always late, drinking whenever he can, and who treats his female boss incredibly disrespectfully. Plus he eventually becomes a corrupt police officer and yeah, not a fan of those. Wouldn't want to be around one irl. He certainly needs professional help, but I am not the one to give it.

[bp-zb1fics]

My heart keeps on

pairing: na kamden x secret s/o reader

pronouns: none used

genre: canonverse  (finale), angst ish, fluff

tw/tags: long distance relationship, very emo in general, a lot of tears LIKE A LOT, you surprise kamden twice, citing ep 12 as my ref for all this, kinda secret relationship, realities of dating a trainee/idol, reunions so more emo, cuddles, cheek kissing, using a pic as a page break, yes the title is fr kam’s rap in switch ty for noticing 💜

wc: 2178

summary: kamden hasn’t seen you in over a year. you surprise him.

a/n this was supposed to be a gift fic for 101 followers but y'all are 200 now 😭😱 omg so thanks so much for supporting my little blog!!! I know this took a little longer than expected so thanks so much for patiently waiting! 💜Special thanks to the anon who sent me an ask about missing kamden and especially to @seok02 for giving me the motivation to finish this fic and kinda just helping me with the overall process 💜💜💜

check my pinned for more fics!

“Star Creator, we always thank you and love you!”

They wrap up the pajama party livestream, thanking the staff and staying to chat as the cameras are switched off. (Or so they think, lol)

“The vibe was pretty good,” Kamden tells Matthew. The other boy agreeing instantly.

“I think we were able to show new sides of ourselves.”

Suddenly the staff play a recording, surprising them all. It’s video messages from Star creators all over the world for them to watch. Kamden grabs a fluffy pillow as he watches everyone slowly get emotional. Seungeon cries. Zhang Hao cries. Yujin cries. Almost everyone is crying. 

Kamden gets a message from a fan in Norway, which is pretty cool. Then, something he never expected happens. He recognises your voice before he even realises it’s you.

“Kamden, annyeong~”

The pillow falls off his lap.

It’s you. It’s really you. You who he hasn’t been able to video call in a few days because of practice and your schedule and the time difference. He almost calls out your name but it sits tight in his throat, unable to reach you. 

You’re on screen, wearing one of the shirts you’ve stolen from him, holding onto the plushie he bought for you at that silly little shop after you insisted it looked like him. God, he hasn’t seen you in over a year.

“Dude, you okay?” Jay asks him softly.

He must look like an idiot, eyes blown wide, mouth slightly open, hanging onto every word that comes out of your mouth.

“I’ve been watching Boy’s Planet since the teasers were released. And you’ve always been my favourite.”

Kamden knows. You’ve been spamming your chat with him with all these little clips from the PR videos to the behind the scenes footage. Screenshots of you voting for him on the Mnet+ app, comments you’ve left on his fancam videos, even the funny memes you found of him on Twitter all greet him when he opens his phone after practice.

Hope my favourite trainee is doing well and staying healthy! Take care of yourself and know I’m always rooting for you! I love and miss you so much! Hoping for your debut!

Your messages are his favourite. And speaking of:

“I’ve made a little compilation of photos right here. I hope you like how I decorated them, I really tried my best~”

All the trainees ooh and ahh over the handmade album you bring up to the screen compiled with photos of him from the program and cute little notes and stickers. Kamden can’t move, can’t talk. 

Because that’s your album, the one you had insisted on starting when he and you began dating. He knows that if you flipped to the other pages, it would be full of photos of both of you, dates, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, awards that either of you might have won, events that were important to you or him or both of you, everything carefully labelled. It was one of your favourite things to print out all the photos and he’d help you decorate them.

He can’t believe you kept that up after he left for Korea.

“You’ve stood out to me in every performance. You’re so talented and so many people are cheering you on so please remember to have confidence in yourself.” Your voice wavers a little towards the end of the sentence and as slight as it is, he catches that. He knows you.

Kamden only registers the wetness on his cheeks when the tears are already going, fast and furious. He reaches up, trying to dab them away gently with his sleeve. On screen, you blink rapidly and he knows you’re trying your best not to cry either. Even thousands of miles away, on a video you probably recorded weeks ago, you and him are still in sync. Maybe the rest of the trainees don’t see it but he does. Of course he does.

“I hope you take care of yourself always. Make sure to eat enough and get enough rest. I’ll be voting for you everyday so just do your best in practice and performing and us Star Creators will take care of the rest. We’ll support you so you can achieve your dream of debuting~”

To everyone else, you were just a particularly supportive fan. But to Kamden, you were his person, the one he was devoted to and he can’t help it, sobbing a little into his sleeve. Several pats on the back as the other trainees around him try to comfort him. He can’t help but cry even more. Why were you so far away? Why couldn’t you be here where he could hug you and kiss you and just be with you?

“Na Kamden hwaiting! Saranghae~”

That’s it. He turns and buries his face fully into his hands as if doing that would soak up all the tears that won’t stop coming. Matthew and Jay have scooted over, voices overlapping as they rub his shoulders and back and ask what’s wrong. Even Zhang Hao’s hovering a little on the side, equally concerned.

Maybe he’ll say something later, when there are no mics and no cameras. He’s been training for years and you’ve both agreed that in a career like the one he aspires to get into, keeping it quiet would be the best. Idols don’t date. Idols don’t have a significant other in a whole other country that they call when they can find free time. Even when it comes to casual conversation where there isn’t a camera directly trained on them, Kamden just doesn’t say anything.

They do ask him later. And when he says you’re a close friend he hasn’t seen in awhile, their faces light up in recognition. He leaves it at that.

You walk into the arena with a little trepidation. 

It’s all been a blur. Packing your things, flying to Korea, meeting up with Kamden’s mom and brother who have been kind enough to get you a ticket pass for the family section. Of course, he has no idea you’re even here.

You’re quite a bit more nervous about surprising him than you thought. While you’d give anything to see him again, it was a little risky in such a public venue with so many people watching and cameras everywhere filming almost any angle. Maybe you can be discreet enough if you do break down but Kamden’s on stage, the spotlights bright and on him. Fans are probably filming him on their own devices.

At this point, you’ll just have to trust your boyfriend to keep his reactions to a believable level. You don’t stand too close to his family, trying to keep your distance but also staying near enough that you’d be in the same general direction if Kamden glanced your way.

You end up on the side, along with a few other people who seem to be dressed as discreetly as you, masks on too. The looks you exchange seem to come to a general understanding of why you’re all here and who you’re here for.

Kamden doesn’t notice you when the Top 18 first file in. You don’t expect him to but you see him though. There’s a growing knot in your stomach, emotions welling up from actually seeing him not through a screen but so close that you could walk on stage and touch him. You don’t do that, of course. But still, he’s so near that it almost hurts not being able to throw yourself into his arms for a hug.

You’ve wanted this so much, especially after more than a year of not seeing him. But right now, you feel frozen. You only watch as they start getting into positions for the signal song. Fans are cheering, even the family members and friends of the trainees are calling out words of support. Still, your voice sticks to your throat, as much as you want to shout out, something keeps you from doing it.

Good thing Kamden’s brother does it for you. It probably surprises you and his mom more than it should but who can blame you when he almost never does that? Kamden’s surprised too, maybe it’s a twin thing but he immediately stands up straighter looking for where his brother’s voice is coming from.

And then he sees you.

His eyes meet yours and they widen considerably. His mouth even drops open a little. You’re smiling so much and you’re sure it shows from how your eyes crinkle, just a little glossy. But you’re not going to cry just yet. Instead, you wave at him. He can’t do much more than give a little wave back before they seem to be ready to start filming. 

Suddenly, your heart feels just a little lighter. You step back and watch him dance the signal song. You’ve seen him do it a thousand times, every time you stream his video. It feels so surreal, being able to see it like this, right in front of you. When the song ends, you see his eyes flick back in your direction, searching for your face. When he finds it, his expression brightens.

It’s amazing, watching someone you love do what they love. Sure, you’ve seen Kamden dance, you’ve gotten him to sing and even rap for you a little before. But it’s different with the stage and the lights and the crowd and he looks so comfortable there. You laugh when you see the Jelly Pop teaser, maybe you’ll get him to wear that dress again, just so you can get photos. The final song is almost bittersweet and you try your best but a few tears do slip out.

He’s messaged you about barely making it to the finale, you’ve monitored the program, watched his rank. You both know his chances are slim. But they’re possible. Still, he’s told you that he’s prepared for the equal possibility of not debuting. His company should have plans, he assured you. You watch him walk over to every one of his fellow trainees who’ve made it to debut, offering hugs and congratulating them. And as the number of spots dwindle, you keep your hopes up but you begin to accept it as well.

By the time they’ve called third, you watch as he walks over to Matthew, one of the trainees he’s closest with from what he’s told you. Maybe he lingers a little longer. Maybe you catch his eyes as he looks over. Hwaiting! You mouth, shaking your fists a little in encouragement. The emotions are swirling inside you. When the camera pans over to him, he’s teary eyed, covering his face the way he always does when he gets like that. You can’t help it. The emotions are starting to spill over and you breathe between the occasional tears.

After they announce the ninth place, everything suddenly starts moving so fast and so slow. They wrap up filming. The audience begins to file out. The cameras switch off one by one. You go backstage.

When he walks in, mic gone, still in that uniform that you keep teasing about, you don’t hold back. His arms wrap around you and you fall into him, holding him so tightly you wish you didn’t need to let go. And then both of you start crying.

“I missed you so much, Kam.” You’re holding onto the fabric of his jacket, gripping at it so desperately you’re almost afraid it might rip.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He manages, his head somehow buried on your shoulder, tears soaking the cloth of your shirt.

“Surprise?” It comes out weak, a little shaky as you both laugh brokenly through your sobs.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” He holds you even tighter, like he’s afraid you might fade into thin air.

“I’ll be here for a while.” You tell him. “I wish I could’ve come sooner but-”

“It’s okay seriously, you’re here now.” If he squeezes you anymore, you feel like your heart might burst. “I’m so happy to see you.”

He goes back with you. There’s few brief introductions to Jay and Matthew and a few other trainees he’s grown close with, nudges and knowing looks and raised eyebrows. But it’s nothing to stress about, you manage to make it back under the radar.

You feel him watching you as you grab a few more things from your suitcase after both of you have showered and you’re wearing another one of his old shirts. Before you know it, your legs are tangled together, your head resting on his shoulder, your hands intertwined. 

“I don’t want to sleep,” he says quietly. “I don’t want to wake up and find out this is a dream and you aren’t here.”

“You aren’t dreaming, Kam.” You reassure him, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. Even in the privacy of this room, he blushes.

“Even if I didn’t make it, at least I have you.”

“You do, Kam. You always do.” And you know he will make it, one day.

[lavampira]

(COUNT)DOWN TO DAWNTRAIL — day seven: free day

one thing about ffxiv that has had the biggest impact on me is the core message in the power of bonds that people forge. camaraderie is as much of a driving force as hope throughout the game’s overarching narrative, and it’s the main part of what made me invest in it so quickly, and why I continue to love playing it.

and so, keeping on that theme, I want to take the opportunity to gush about some of the people who’ve also made the game and community a lovely experience over the last 2 years.

first, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how glad I am that @hythlodaes and @birues came with me from swtor to give this game a try. it’s always so nice to have a friend who understands you so intuitively like gigi does with me when trying new things without judgement, building fun routines together in a new game, risking it all as an AST-DRK duo in frontlines, or slipping back into our old co-tanking roots, and she’s been my biggest emotional support and favorite guinea pig to level new things. and rue’s eternal willingness to fuck it we ball with me and all of her thoughtful meta and silly memes alike bring me so much happiness. I’ve loved sharing all the developing lore of our ocs and thoughts on the story as we’ve progressed mostly alongside each other.

I will also forever be grateful to @coldshrugs and @gefiltefished for all of their guidance when I was a sprout learning the game! azia and ash have always been so helpful and encouraging, and many of my fondest memories of the early raids, trials, and pre-duty support dungeons involve one or both of them holding my hand, and even braving queues to tank or heal for me at times despite being aiming mains until I was brave enough to consistently tank myself. they built up much of my confidence while venturing into a new mmo and I don’t think I would understand things as well as I do without either of them.

getting to know @scionshtola as we played more, dragging each other into the mines and bozja respectively, and bonding over same taste in dps jobs has been such a highlight, too. and so many of my frontlines assists are owed to them channeling a hidden inner zenos on the battlefield as well.

raiding with my extremes static in our brave little sparkle has been some of the most fun and challenging few months! @lilas is an absolute powerhouse of organizing, keeping the positive mood alive, and wrangling everyone into voice chat and party on time each week. azia is an excellent strategist and gentle advice-giver, which has gotten us to barrel through barriers that had us stumped at times. @zimmena is a radiant gem for crafting our tinctures, making consistent calls to move us through the mechanics, filling in any role that’s needed, and my partner in repairs. I owe @greyyourwarden my life many times over for keeping me alive or scraping me off the floor when things go awry as a very trustworthy healer, and trusting me without complaint despite healer instincts when I ask to be allowed to die for my invuln. gigi has not only been a powerful and attentive melee dps amidst our sea of ranged/casting players, but a cheerfully good sport when a stray tankbuster goes her way, too. kels and their carby have saved many, many pulls with a well-timed raise, and always is my reliable stack buddy. @the-rogue-mockingjay is a brave soul willing to try new things and brings so much enthusiasm to raid. and @galadae has been a trooper for filling in whenever we needed someone and picking up things so quickly despite the occasional short notice. I’m so proud of how much we’ve all grown as players and as teammates since the very first night!

my foray into crafting and gathering has also been greatly helped by the many tips from @impossible-rat-babies and the set of endgame gear graciously offered and made for me by @lxdymaria so I’d have an easier time once I was leveled.

and I’ve also enjoyed talking to and seeing posts by @drk-brain, @drkmissionaries, and other sidwol shippers and dark knight enjoyers over on the bird site, collectively boosting all the writing and losing our minds over our little guys and the big spiky man we all love.

I could keep going - the ffxiv playerbase is truly one of the most friendly, encouraging, and wonderful communities - but I’ll leave it here: ffxiv is a game full of love and support from the people we meet along the way, so it’s no wonder why it’s fostered such a similar space for all of us!

[xceanlynx]

why do u defend boston so much? did u people forget the scene of him with boeing? he lied to both boeing and nick. he is a dick. I dont get u at all...

I'm sorry, but are you dense? None of my defense of Boston was a defense of his actions. He was a shitty friend and was a shitty "boyfriend" to Nick — I even posted the "I was rooting for you" Tyra meme when bostonxboeing happened. I absolutely did not agree with his actions. I didn't want them together if that meant a monogamous relationship — and Nick clearly did not want to be in an open or poly relationship, so I'm very glad they did not end together.

What I won't defend is the message that he is the worst, the irredeemable person the narrative wanted us to believe BECAUSE he slept around. If they wanted us to believe he is unforgivable because of his relationship with Top and Mew, or because he lied to Nick, that's fair. But they clearly were pushing the idea that he was bad because he slept around. That's absolutely unfair and an overall terrible message to spread.

[6kuros]

do u have any tommatt hcs :3 like pet names or something?? i luv the ship and how u draw them sm

you guys are feeding into my insanity thankn you...thank you......

matt uses pet names for tom (babe, sweetheart, stud) (tom is embarrassed at first but he likes it), tom doesnt rly use pet names especially early into the relationship, later on tho i think he'd occasionally call matt honey, casual simple things

despite appearances matt is the one who orders at the drive thru

both fashionistas lel but in their own way- matt has respect for tom's style bc even if that's not how he'd dress he can appreciate when someone knows how to put an outfit together. same goes for tom

i drew this bc of a convo w a friend a while back but they both love cats and send each other cat memes all the time. their text messages look like this

ok now time for the Serious stuff

got together post The End, tom coming close to dying made them realize their feelings for each other and take a risk in entering an actual relationship. i think bc they knew each other so long and were housemates when they first started getting feelings they brushed them off bc they didnt want things to be awkward (tom especially- matt probably acted on his feelings first bc i think matt is slightly more emotionally intelligent and has the confidence to go for anyone)

elaborating on this tom takes a while to accept his feelings for matt bc of how he wants to feel masculine, he's fine w being trans + attracted to men but he initially imagined he'd be with a 6'5 hardcore metalhead with a bunch of piercings not a charlie xcx-britney spears-listening twink....lol...

matt helps tom a lot with being more sensitive/in touch with his feelings and being less of a dick who says the first rude thing that pops into his head. he's still like this at his core tbh but it takes much more for him to get actually irritated by other people and bc of how matt is he becomes more emotionally aware

tom also helps matt be less self centered and more emotionally aware bc tom doesnt vocalize the root of his issues most of the time- instead of actually talking he'll make a rude comment or complain about something seemingly minor when it bothers him for a deeper reason and matt has to be able to recognize this for the relationship to work

they also help each other w confidence- tom was hesitant to act on his feelings at first bc he's like matt could pull almost anyone if he wanted to why would he go for me (not quite true but that's how he sees it) and matt secretly craves affection and validation from tom bc tom seems to not care what others think and about superficial appearances (also isnt rly true but its how matt perceived tom when he started crushing on him)

ok this post is long enough

[theawkwardterrier]

Writing Patterns

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

Coming up on the six month anniversary of being tagged by my meme buddy @lavellenchanted, so I figured I should actually sit down and do it!

Her classmates all think her mad. Won't You Walk With Me (out of the mouth of this holler

It all starts on a Friday with a message from Jenny. All the Ways Home

Natasha wouldn't say that her father is sad, exactly. Have Yourself a Scheming Little Christmas

On her first day at SHIELD, Gloria is so nervous that afterward she only remembers three things. Working Women

When she told him the first time, Claire did not know that it was a lie, or at least that it wasn’t all of her truth. Roots and Wings

She meets him on her first day. After the War Is Over (Will There Be Any Home Sweet Home?)

According to everything she’s seen and been told, this is home. Muscle Memory

Jamie gets his signature - Mam's snow cake - into the oven before he takes a moment to truly size up the competition. Bake On

They have precisely thirty-six hours leave in London, and Steve knows that he could be spending it somewhere other than this. (might not be our time yet) that doesn’t mean I ever love you any less

The first time happens only three days after they've gotten back together. A Full and Stumbling Heart

For someone who loves a run-on sentence, comma, em-dash, additional clause, unnecessary adjective, these are all remarkably straightforward! Plus apparently I feel like I pretty much always need to tell the reader whose head they're going to be in?

Tagging my friendos @flyinghome-againstthewind, @roboticonography, @walkinginland, @ckerouac, and @doctorhelena

[surely-galena]

MC/Rosa sits the NXX Investigation Team down to binge watch a series of Barbie movies and then asks which was their favorite:

[WC: 0.8K]

Luke: Barbie: Princess Charm School AND/OR Barbie as the Island Princess (to be separated from your place of birth and return years later, changed)

Princess Charm School

Because he laughs out loud every time Portia is on screen. The meme potential of most things in the film delights him

Also, the whole missing princess plot genuinely interests him. MC is telling him there's an assassination cover-up in a Barbie movie? Iiiinteresting.

You know that one scene where Blair and friends have to escape from a locked room using their skills and memory? That's his favorite part.

He likes the friendship and espionage and drama and fantasy political discussion. Also, there's a golden retriever.

The Island Princess

There is something that he relates to in a girl who is lost somewhere for years. Especially when she eventually makes it back to civilization, and finds how different it is -- and realizes how different she is, and how in the end, she still finds the people she lost so long ago.

And those people from years ago recognize her, and they remember her, and they still accept her for who she is even though she is now a different person to the one they lost.

(And she talks to animals, too, but Luke thinks that Peanut counts.)

Artem: Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper (oh to be loved just for who you are)

The message about being accepted for who you are and not the place you are born into hits different for him because so many only see him as that perfect, untouchable lawyer (and bonus points if they recognize him as Bryan Wing's son)

The ballad between Erika and Dominick is so Artem-coded. "In my heart I'd be glad / If you loved me for me" and "Hope will blossom by believing / The heart that lies within"? The lines strike him like an arrow to the chest

In a way, both main couples remind him of the difference in stations between him and MC -- him as a senior attorney and her still yet to take her senior exams

There is a cat. That barks.

He also sees part of himself in Julian because of the quiet leader aspects (and the beatboxing scene in the credits. He almost fell out of his chair when he saw that.)

Vyn: Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus (because horses and sass)

Vyn actually also likes The Princess and the Pauper, but Artem already took that and of course he can never be seen agreeing with Artem, so he slots that into second place and puts another film above it in his ranking

And the movie with that honor is the pegasus one

A member of royalty feeling limited by her parents? The amount of sass and banter in the film between Annika and Aidan? Vyn finds these qualities to be quite charming

He's not sure how he feels about the polar bear with the strangely long eyelashes. He's grateful that it doesn't talk, at the very least.

There are flying horses and sure, maybe the main flying horse is related to the protagonist, but haven't all nobles wished at least once for horses to be able to talk back to them at least once in their childhood?

Marius: Barbie as Rapunzel AND/OR Barbie in the Twelve Dancing Princesses (magic paintbrushes, siblings, and self-expression)

Rapunzel

Part of how much Marius enjoys Rapunzel is because of the wonder that is so prevalent in the film. He does kind of wish he had a magic paintbrush like the one in the movie, but he's also content with enjoying the process of the artwork that he makes.

The fairytale adaptation reminds him of his own childhood when he had spent many hours reading through storybooks.

There is something about being trapped in a small space that disturbs him. It makes him root for Rapunzel.

He's also very satisfied with the way the villain meets her end.

The Twelve Dancing Princesses

Marius finds the music very charming in this one

But there's also: the haunting presence of a dead mom and how her love for them is made clear in what she left for her daughters, and an alive father who means well but does not necessarily always make the right actions

There is the value of self-expression, of refusing to conform to what an overbearing power insists on -- but there's also teamwork and taking responsibility and acting on what one believes to be right

Marius doesn't know anything about having eleven other siblings, but having one is enough to relate to the sisters' bond (especially between Genevieve and Lacey. Hasn't Giann been a Genevieve to him countless times when he was young?).

On the whole, the NXX Investigation Team has more fun than they may have first expected. That's team bonding for you :D

[professional-retired-asshole]

More persecutor memes about myself specifically

[ID: "draw 25 uno meme." Uno card reads "don't insult people unnecessarily or draw 25," guy with cards is labeled "me." /End ID]

[ID: "types of headaches meme." the full red diagram is labeled "not being an asshole to total strangers whenever I front." /End ID]

[ID: Gus Fringe "we are not the same" meme. Caption reads "You persecute in order to protect or express trauma, I persecute because it's fun as hell and my personal right, we are not the same." /End ID]

[ID: the same meme but the caption reads,"You try not to give a shit because it makes you feel power and in control of your emotions, I genuinely don't give a shit because these fucks are below me, we are not the same." /End ID]

[ID: "borat 2 tonight queen??" texting meme. Instead the messages read "torture tonight 👀 stabbing tonight queen?? torture tonite 👀" /End ID]

[ID: "I should buy a boat" cat meme. Caption reads, "I should torture an NPC in the inner world." /End ID]

[ID: Star Wars "for the better, right?" meme. First caption reads, "everything I do is rooted in my own self interest and nothing else." Second and third caption reads "You do secretly care about other people though besides that, right? Right?" /End ID]

[omgkalyppso]

I posted this before but deleted it both because I was embarrassed and because I was worried I'd severely fucked up Astarion's age for the nth time, originally referenced from This Post. But I've seen many more analyses and I think it's right. I think it is. Anyway!

EDIT: I DID GET HIS AGE WRONG because that is the post I meant to reference. But I'm not fixing it. 232.

I was tagged by @luinen-bluewater to complete this far simpler ship meme: otp, ot3/4.

Here is the template I actually used: ot3. Here's the otp version.

I'll tag a few people to complete any of the templates referenced: Luinen, @the-eldritch-it-gay, @vlwv, @tadpole-apocalypse, @boghermit, @lemonbronze, @littleplasticrat and YOU.

I'll put the above image chopped up below the cut so it's easier viewing for the curious. And I'll ramble a bit more (bg3 spoilers, discussion of vampirism and character deaths).

In my headcanons, Astarion neither remains a spawn nor becomes the Vampire Ascendant, he becomes a vampire, and some hundreds of years later he turns Étoile to a vampire as well (this post / these headcanons need reviewing after the epilogue changes with the Crown, but we'll see).

With this in mind, I was thinking of Halsin being the longest of their lovers and how Étoile could possibly handle his death:

Étoile and Astarion occupied on some adventure / business or other, and when they return, an unaffected or perhaps impatient messenger has come to deliver news of Halsin's death. And it is so long after the others of their relevant, initial, adventuring party has passed (or maybe not. Lae'zel is a wild card (no aging on the astral plane)). Still, i can imagine one of them snapping. I think it's more interesting if it's Étoile, saying aloud that the messenger is mistaken, that surely the message is that Halsin's ill and is calling to see them a final time — Astarion's near shouting in embarrassment and worry, telling the messenger to go, calling Étoile's name, grabbing their arm until Étoile says loudly that they heard them. They heard what they said. And also sends the poor messenger away.

But then I started considering an alternative which I felt was ooc for Halsin from the base game but which I think is more possible / within the scope of his character after the addition of the epilogue. Reminder that Étoile is a paladin of the neutral evil goddess Auril, started bg3 as neutral good but whom I consider neutral evil, and is an Oathbreaker by the end of their adventure:

Halsin at like 820 or older, life expectancy 700-1000, veering wildly between peace with the natural order of things and intense discomfort with things that feel unfinished, the way they always do. And sometime with Étoile leaned against his chest he speaks of Silvanus, the Oakfather, of children and elders in all families of creatures have come and gone, of how his druidic order has changed more slowly than a tree spreads its roots, and how never in all that time did Étoile ask him to abandon his god and his (god's) comfort for the sake of vampirism and eternity. Fondly, expecting Halsin to imagine it an irritation after his speech, Étoile recalls that Astarion did, three hundred or so years ago. Étoile points out that they know the comfort they found in their worship, and they would never have sought to steal that from him (Halsin). To be a vampire is unnatural, lost to his Oakfather. Halsin points out that he has felt that Étoile has wanted to ask before, even if it has always remained unsaid, in the emptiness in their chest (lack of heartbeat), in the slant of their mouth when his (Halsin's) movement is broken with age, in how they've (Étoile has) breathed in his silver hair the more it's overcome him, something that felt respectful once, but now he's past where his end should have been, and the temptation of rekindling old strengths, the hope of another thousand years, through vampirism, shames him (Halsin) greatly. The selfishness of an old mind. Why wouldn't it have felt like a possibility a hundred years ago, two hundred, more? How could he dare to think of continuing a protection of his forest, of caring for his kin, if he lost all connection to them, and even fears what makes them the same in their morality so much that he would dare forsake it. If he was going to lose his faith, why wouldn't he have done so when he was younger and different, except that he was stronger then, in body and in mind. And yet what difference would there be, feasting upon the wild in the woods? And Étoile would be blunt about the differences, and about how there are even laws now, that they helped put in place. "They" could punish them both greatly for this, but the transformation itself would be their shared shame. He could be their first spawn, and perhaps their only, but if he wanted this now — that it was no corruption of age, just a changed heart. And they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather -- but he would have to be sure, because the fallout could be immeasurable. Étoile would try to do it permissably, but they would turn Halsin in secret, if need be. And what if "they" were like. fucking no???? and to ensure you don't do this thing we're going to keep you sealed, either in an area or in a fucking coffin until your druid has passed. (Astarion would lose his fucking mind.)

Abbreviated:

Halsin: what if i've lived long enough to see myself become the villain. Étoile: well my ship has sailed, and you know, if i meet you in hell then it's not hell

I think though that Halsin's village would have warm, clean shelters under the ground, just below the surface as if to shelter from storms, but well-used and familiar to vampires after years of shared knowledge and resources. They'd be glad to claim him.

OH! And Étoile's birthday is Oct 20th (their date of creation during early access was Oct 20 2020), I gave Astarion Sept 22nd (first day of autumn), and Halsin May 13th (he seems like a Taurus and I figured he'd be worn and irksome about having a birthday that often falls on a day associated with bad luck (Friday the 13th)).