#meta: csi

[addictedtostorytelling]

was the line "since I met you" improvised by Billy Petersen?

hi, anon!

yes, it was.

according to the csi: crime scene investigation companion book, billy gave danny cannon, the director, some indication that he wanted to try the scene a new way, so cannon stepped back, rolled film, and allowed billy and jorja to ad-lib.

the rest, as they say, is history!

[hollygl125]

yo umm i was wondering and couldn't find on google so i think you could help me

the shifts in csi (like day shift, graveyard shift etc) are around which times?

Hello, lovely anon,

First of all, my sincere apologies for not having responded to your query in a timely (or, you know, remotely helpful) manner. Not as an excuse, but as an attempt at an explanation, I will tell you that I have been kind of a disaster person lately (much more so than indicated in the linked post, and even much more so this past fall than now) and don’t always have a ton of control over where my mind chooses to focus.

I should also acknowledge that, while I carried out my fall 2021 CSI rewatch (when I didn’t realize I was subsequently going to care about any of these details) with sort of rapt attention, in my (yes, many) subsequent rewatches I have often skipped scenes or storylines that don’t really interest me (e.g., where neither Sara Sidle nor Gil Grissom is anywhere to be found), and I am almost always doing two or three things at once while watching. So it’s certainly more than possible I have missed some non-GSR details in there.

In response to your question, the two things I can tell you with certainty are these:

The CSIs of CSI have three shifts: day shift, swing shift, and night/graveyard shift (this last being what the lead characters of CSI are generally working). Logic would dictate that, with three shifts and 24 hours in a day, the shifts most likely start (and end) eight hours apart. (I will not, however, state that logic necessarily dictates that the shifts each be eight hours, and I will discuss that more below.)

At the end of “Mea Culpa” (05x09), after Warrick, Nick, and Catherine are transferred from night/graveyard shift to swing shift, Warrick tells Grissom, “Well, I got to get some rest. Swing shift starts at four in the afternoon. That’s a big change.”

Based on the above (and what I will discuss below), the best answer I can give is that the shifts should start at the following times (and end approximately, though not necessarily exactly, eight hours later):

Day shift: 8:00 a.m.

Swing shift: 4:00 p.m.

Night/graveyard shift: 12:00 a.m. (midnight).

(I will also note some contradictory information below the cut, although I don’t know the source of that information.)

But the other thing I will note (and for which I will give some possibly excessive examples below the cut) is that CSI does a pretty terrible job of keeping track of these kind of workplace logistics. You might have thought the writers and showrunners of what was for a time the most popular scripted TV show in the world (or something like that) would have added a few notes to their show bible about workplace logistics (shift times, scheduling, etc.) but . . . nope, not in any way that is apparent to me! (I find wanting to write a story that is compatible with the internal logic of the show and finding there really is no internal logic of the show to be terribly frustrating.)

Shift times:

Okay, to be honest, the first place I looked for an answer to your query was in @addictedtostorytelling’s wonderful meta, both because she is an expert in (among many other things!) these finer details (e.g., dates on documents shown in the show) and because I was pretty sure I had seen a post from her that addressed shift times.

The only post I could find on the topic was this one, in which the asker states that “we know there are 3 csi shifts: day (7am to 3pm), swing (3pm to 11pm) and night (11pm to 7am).” I don’t know the source of information for that statement. (If anyone else knows, I’d be most grateful if you shared in the comments, so I can update this post!) Honestly, it’s more than possible that CSI has given contradictory information on this subject. But the one place I personally know of a shift start time being given in the show is in Warrick’s statement quoted above.

I also did a general google search on shift times (not specific to CSI or even real-world CSI-type employees). The most common answers I saw were days = 8:00 (or 7:00) a.m. to 4:00 (or 3:00) p.m., swing = 4:00 (or 3:00) p.m. to 12:00 a.m. (or 11:00 p.m.), night/graveyard = 12:00 a.m. (or 11:00 p.m.) to 8:00 (or 7:00) a.m.

In this post on Talk CSI, you can see people trying to answer your question way back in 2006, when the show was airing. One board member there noted that their (forensic, as I understand it) agency had three ten-hour shifts (with two hours of overlap at each end). Another noted that, where they worked (also apparently in the forensic context), the shifts were “12:30 to 8:30, 8:30 to 4:30 and 4:30 to 12:30 working 8 hour shifts.” @figsr kindly advised me that in her (non-forensic) experience shifts would have a half-hour overlap for handover.

I have no personal experience with this, but to me also just logically it would make sense for these shifts to have some sort of overlap for handover—so that, e.g., one team can be dealing with their beginning of shift housekeeping (shifts, assignments, memos from upper management, etc.) while the other is still primarily responsible for calls to the field.

Anyway, based on the above, I can’t give a conclusion on exactly how long the shifts are/when they end. But, as for when the shifts start, my best answer is as given at the top.

The other thing I should probably note here is that the CSIs of CSI do not stop working just because their shifts have ended; when they are in the middle of something that needs to be addressed in a timely manner, they tend to keep going, and they seem to work a lot of double shifts. They also apparently help out other shifts sometimes when necessary. (You’ll note that we see them working during the day a lot, but I don’t know how much of that can be attributed to the issue I discuss below.)

Shift times + scheduling + lack of internal logic (i.e., WTF, CSI?!):

As @addictedtostorytelling discusses in the meta I linked above (which I highly recommend reading, if you’re interested in this topic!), CSI doesn’t make much effort to depict the characters’ work schedules in any sort of realistic way, and drawing inferences about the logistics of the their work schedules is kind of a crapshoot.

Here are a few examples of CSI seeming to ignore its own shift times:

In 01x10, Sara’s asleep with her head on the table in the break room. It’s daylight (looks like morning). She wakes up as the kettle starts whistling. Grissom asks, “Did you sleep here?” Sara responds, “I was working till 4:00 a.m.” —> 4:00 a.m. should be their lunch time. None of this makes any sense.

In 07x08, Sara spends her day waiting to testify in court; they never get to her. Afterwards she goes to talk to Grissom in his office; based on the foregoing it must be late afternoon (maybe around 4:30-5:00 p.m.). Grissom has been working on that episode’s case and must have been on shift since at least the night before. He’s now sitting there reading Thoreau, and she tells him, “I won’t wait up.” —> I know he’s traditionally been a workaholic, and maybe they both have the night off, but it always strikes me as odd (and maybe a bit irresponsible?) that he’s still not heading home, given how long he must have been up and the fact that their usual shift time is in probably close to seven hours (and I always imagine him, as supervisor, arriving early).

At the end of 07x18, the TV reporter says that the suspect confessed earlier that day to the murders of the six showgirls. (The TV newscast is supposedly live, and it’s dark outside where the reporter is. He also states, “The families have organized a candlelight vigil that will begin here tonight.”) Grissom brushes a tear off Sara’s cheek then walks her out of the lab with his arm around her/hand on her back. The hallway has dim lighting and is empty aside from someone (not Natalie Davis!) mopping the floors. It’s giving very “end of the day so the lab’s deserted” vibes. —> But it’s literally never the end of the day there! They work the night shift, and the lab is always humming!

Similarly, in CSIV 1x05, Sara and then Grissom as well (“the matched set”) run into their suspect (Martin Kline) while leaving what is very specifically (i.e., with several establishing shots) shown to be a dark and empty lab. (Like, it’s clearly supposed to feel creepy when Kline first confronts Sara and she’s all alone.) —> But, again, the original CSI showed us that place was never dark and empty! It was always humming!

In 08x01, the security guard at the parking lot from which Sara was abducted says that Sara “eats at the veggie place downstairs a couple times a week.” When Catherine asks when she was there that night, he says, “I don’t know, like 7:30, maybe. That’s when she usually comes.” —> Sara eating at 7:30 p.m. is like someone who works a 9-5 job eating at about 4:30 a.m. (I also feel like their working hours are so erratic that, if she were able to pull off anything regular a couple times per week, it would be something regular she could do with Grissom—like maybe sitting down to a nice relaxed home-cooked rather than take-out meal twice per week.)

Shift times aren’t the only issue, though.

In 02x15, for example, Sara’s “Request for Leave of Absence” form states that her work week is “Tue - Sat grave.” Now, I don’t pay much heed to the CSI props department. (They did give us these nonsensical ID cards, after all.) But this would make a lot of sense to me—the CSIs all having a staggered work week, with two regular, consecutive scheduled days off each. Only . . . we don’t ever really see anything like that?

At the end of 03x22, Sara notes that the schedule says Grissom has the night off, and, when he confirms, she then adds, “Me, too.” It certainly doesn’t sound like this is a regular (weekly) occurrence. But in truth I can’t remember ever actually seeing two of our CSIs have the night off together. We almost never see them having a night off at all. Even in 03x03, when we are told Sara had the night off, it’s in the context of Grissom having called her in to work.

(I think there are a very small number of examples of one of the CSIs actually having a night off—e.g., in 03x09, Catherine has a couple days off but stops by the lab to pick something up for Lindsey’s birthday.)

Admittedly, I get this one, because of course the showrunners want for the most part for the whole cast (especially its major players, the CSIs) to be onscreen throughout every episode. So the subject of days off would have to be fudged. But it strikes me as funny that, in 04x12, when Nick is absent for the entire episode, they don’t take the opportunity to show someone having their regular days off; instead, Sara tells us he’s at the “American Academy of Forensic Science convention” (even though it’s about a month early for the AAFS conference).

Another matter that makes no logistical sense to me is the staffing changes that go on during and immediately after season 05.

In the pilot, the graveyard shift is five CSIs (including Holly Gribbs) plus Brass, who presumably does a lot of paperwork. Then Sara takes Holly’s spot and Brass is transferred out, so it’s just five very qualified CSIs (and no wonder Grissom is always behind on his paperwork, with Brass gone).

By season 5, graveyard shift is up to five and a half CSIs, basically, with Greg’s inclusion as a CSI-in-training. Then Ecklie decides to mix things up (i.e., punish Grissom and his pals), and he splits them into two shifts, adding only Sofia (to the graveyard shift). So then graveyard has three and a half CSIs (four once Greg makes CSI I), and swing shift has three CSIs. In 05x11, Ecklie acknowledges swing shift is short a couple bodies and blames budget constraints. But, if swing shift is short a couple bodies, graveyard shift must be short a body, too, even once Greg makes CSI I. How can budget constraints suddenly necessitate them being down that many bodies—especially when by season six Ecklie can somehow justify letting them now have six full CSIs on graveyard shift? Also, we know the swing shift supervisor was transferred to days to replace Ecklie, but what happened to the rest of the previous swing shift?

Now, my petty headcanon would be that the entire day shift save for Sofia quits when Ecklie gets promoted because the thought of him as assistant lab director is unbearable to them, as a result of which he moves the entire swing shift to days and pretends the staff shortages are due to budget cuts. But I find it kind of funny (again!) that, during the fifth season, when CSI really was on top of the world (e.g., ratings, cast winning the SAG award, Tarantino directing “Grave Danger”), the showrunners couldn’t at least have found a couple warm bodies to show up occasionally to round out the swing shift (even if Ecklie was punishing Grissom and his shift by leaving the graveyard shift understaffed). (In 05x16, Catherine is shown talking to three randoms in “forensics” coveralls, one of whom calls her “boss,” but no explanation is given as to who they are, and I think that’s the most we ever see in that regard.)

Anyway, thank you so much for your question, and my apologies for rambling with some of my CSI logistics grievances. My best answer to your question is as given at the top. If you should have another question, please feel free to send it my way—barring any acts of God, etc. (unforeseeable future events), I will most almost certainly be able to manage a more prompt response!

[heardchef]

was sifting through episodes of the bear, looking for moments when carmy smokes for, um, reasons, and i noticed that carmy keeps his cigarettes in his pants pocket and not his apron.

it's such a miniscule detail—one that i'm probably reading way too much into, but it stood out to me. carmy's apron is an item of significance to him. aprons in general in the fine dining world seem to act like an insignia. they're not just part of a uniform, they're a badge of honor. a signifier that you belong to a specific kitchen, a specific community.

he keeps his phone in his apron. he keeps his trusty little spoon in his apron. but not his cigarettes. the one vice that we see carmy indulge in is the one thing he almost separates from the kitchen, and that just tickles my brain in ways i can't fully describe or comprehend.

carmy doesn't smoke in the restaurant, well, usually. we see him smoke outside, and we see him smoke in his apartment (because of course he smokes in his apartment but not the restaurant).

we see carmy smoke in the kitchen once.

it's after the cataclysmic events of e7. carmy's seeing flashes of michael's old invoices, bills that are long past due, the numbers of vendors who are probably on the verge of cutting the restaurant off, and he paces—his anxieties are no longer contained to fidgeting hands. he pauses for a moment as the crew toils away in the background, and then he reaches for his pack of cigarettes.

the stove top clicks and carmy lowers his cigarette to its flame only to be met with an inferno. he backs away and any fear carmy feels is twisted into something else. he's mesmerized, and not just by the flames, but what they promise.

carmy wants nothing more than for the restaurant to burn and his anxieties to burn with it. it's only for a moment but that desire is so encompassing, so irresistible, it leaves him utterly transfixed.

the fire in the kitchen is extinguished, but whatever is burning inside of carmy has only been reduced to embers. it'll get stoked again, and i can't wait 'til it does.

[buildinggsr]

I bumped into this moment some time ago. I never noticed it before, and some thoughts sprouted from it. I thought I’d write one of my rambling about my strange theories. I should have kept translating the rollercoaster fic but I wrote this instead (I’m at chapter 7 by the way)

Facts to be taken into consideration: we are at the end of episode 3.01 "Revenge is best served cold" now and Grissom gave the plant™ to Sara in episode 2.15 "Burden of proof". So, plants are already something to them, at the moment. Also keep in mind that "[i]n Roman mythology, Flora is the goddess of flowers: a symbol of beauty, youth and new beginnings. The word ‘flora’ identifies the natural realm of plants and flowers."

So -

We see Sara entering the office and being intrigued by the plant that Grissom is arranging on the table. No wonder, she likes vegetation. The moment she enters the room, Grissom raises his eyes from the plant and has the time to notice Sara's reaction. It's when their eyes meet. The camera lets us appreciate Grissom’s reaction: when Sara moves her look upwards from the plant and stares at him in a sort of inquiring way, Grissom's eyes widens a little, his look softens, his mouth moves in a restrained smile. His body seems to acquire a prouder posture. "Here my present for you, again," he seems to say.

They must have talked about the original plant™, at the time of "Burden of proof". One doesn't receive a plant from Grissom and just goes “oh, ok, great, let’s move on”. To say the least, they go to him and say "thank you", right? Even more so when the receiver of the plant is Sara. It must have been a very cute moment to see ― I imagine it happening in an isolated place (the locker room or the car while driving to a scene, maybe), they both trying to keep tenderness under control, unsure about the words to say, afraid at the same time to say too much and too little.

Now, months away from that moment, unexpectedly Grissom's "Here my present for you, again" is dropped. I like to think that Grissom decides to make such a scenographic presentation for his explanation of the case on purpose. To please her.

At the beginning of the episode, upon hearing Hank tell Warrick to say hello to Sara, we see Grissom turning to Hank in a sort of “feed someplace else, boor” way. He perceives, maybe for the very first time, that Sara is having something going on with that primitive. Because of that, on the crime scene that he, Warrick and Sara are working, we see him sharply tell her to take one of the chairs of the poker game to the lab ― so she'll stay away from Hank. For the first part of the episode, we see Grissom being kind of apart from Sara: despite her keeping invading his personal space, they works almost always separately, we see them in a scene together only few times and he almost never interacts with her (when he doesn’t shoot her meaningful and lost looks). At one moment, we see him working in solitude listening to an aria. Here, it seems to me, something changes in his mind.

The aria Grissom is listening to when Sara arrives in the room is not a casual one. It's from Leoncavallo's "Pagliacci", an opera revolving around jealousy. The piece of music of the scene, in particular, is “Vesti la giubba” (“Put on the costume”). It is sung at the end of Act I by Canio, who is preparing for the comedy as Pagliaccio despite having just discovered his wife Nedda's betrayal. This aria represents the concept of the "tragic clown," who sustains his comic role without showing any upset, but inwardly experiences a personal drama - which is exactly what Grissom is living at the moment. While he’s there in his melancholic solitude, Sara arrives and stops the music right when Canio is asking himself if he’s even a man, trying to muster courage and enter the stage (instead of just being just a clown  ― on the stage and in his personal life). Grissom has not seen her arrive, he’s focused on his papers, and it's only when the music stops that he sees Sara. It's now, I like to think, that something inside his mind changes, now that he's on the edge of facing his destiny, about to renounce to happiness once for all, brave like that part of Titanic's crew who in the bowels of the ship kept the machines working until the last moment before the sinking. 

Sara must have appeared beautiful in his eyes - I mean more beautiful than usual. Indeed, throughout the episode she looks really great, fresh, happy. Cheerful. And that makes Grissom's heart bleed. But, all of a sudden, he might have realized that the smile now adorning her face is a different smile. One of those shy smiles she shoots him when she feels embarrassed. Embarrassed because of the feeling that keeps them bound one to the other since they first met. 

Let's get back to the beginning of the episode for a moment, just before Grissom implicitly sends Sara to the lab. Warrick notices that one of the chairs he's examining with ALS is dirt with what he thinks is urine and asks confirmation of it to Grissom. He confirms that and explains, "Game like this (poker), leaving the table early could be perceived as a sign of weakness." It's possible that when he finds Sara in front of him more beautiful than it has ever been, Grissom applies this rule to his relationship with her: he decides to not leave the table too early, he decides to fight for her girl. He's indeed a man, not a clown. 

In this term, it's curious what he says to Sara when she, upon stopping the music, asks him what he's got. "Suspicious waitress," he replies. It's the reference to something suspicious, something like a "lie" that strikes me. The waitress is lying, if we're talking about the case; but if we render the sentence in a broader and general meaning, a woman is saying or acting falsely. These are the very first words Grissom says to Sara in that scene, "a woman is probably saying or acting falsely". Just like in the case of the statement about the game of poker, let's now apply this new sentence to GSR. The only woman that really is in Grissom's life is Sara. So we might say that Grissom says "the waitress is lying" but he means "you (Sara) are lying. All your cheerfulness is just a façade, the smiles you throw around are just the show of a clown. The very smile you just made now, in this room populated just by you and me, so sweetly and timidly happy ― this is your real smile. And you just made it to me."

It's as if the words of the Leoncavallo's song now shift "owner": they could be applied to Grissom at the beginning of the scene, but could be applied to Sara now. Sara is the one mustering courage to step away from Grissom, despite her feelings ― despite their feelings. She's mustering courage to establish a new relationship with another man, since the one with Grissom seems impossible to achieve. She, like in the opera, exemplifies the entire notion of the "tragic clown": smiling on the outside but crying on the inside.  

And we finally arrive at the "Here my present for you, again" moment. Given all that was said before, Grissom interprets this new plant as a means to make Sara remember the secret feeling they’re sharing for each other and make Hank vanish from her mind in any shape or form. As though this new plant could mark a new beginning. 

I like to think that it works, in some part ― at the moment, at least. I like to think that in front of the new plant they share a moment of secret intimacy and, at the memory of when they talked about the original plant™, their hearts melt a bit with tenderness. I like to think that when Grissom's explanation concludes, Warrick leaves and they are left alone with all their emotions cradling their hearts and minds. Maybe she tells him something about the plant he doesn't know. Maybe they talk about botany. Science has always kept them together and so now botany becomes the spark igniting a genuine and bright discussion. One of those discussions where they feel free: science is a neutral contest ground, personal matters are not directly involved and this makes them enjoy the discussion unhindered. 

Maybe, just like at their first meeting, during a discussion about anthropology, Sara was the one stalling trying to get the nerve to ask Grissom to dinner, now, during a discussion about botany, Grissom is the one stalling trying to get the nerve to ask her to dinner. 

I like to think that the plant finally ends in Sara's hands. Maybe she asks what it will be of it and Grissom says that she can keep it. "Here's my present to you again," he means.

Alas, we all know what follows in the evolution of the series, and the cold shower Grissoms receives in the following episode. But most importantly, we all know how the story finally ends.  🥰

I probaby missed a lot of points, but I hope you enjoyed the typos at least

[julie-finlay]

Finlay Friday

13x01: "Karma to Burn", script extracts. Pt. 3/3. Unaired scenes under the cut.

[writer-at-the-table]

CSI (Vegas) s05e23/24 Grave Danger does something interesting, I think, specifically with regard to Nick's part

Nick is in the role of the 'damsel' in a Rescue-from-a-Tower story for pretty much the entire time - he's in a trap, he can't do anything to free himself, and he has to wait for his colleagues to rescue him - or not. he doesn't know they can see him, and he can't receive any communication from them. He can't do anything to facilitate his own rescue. He's also very close to physcially immobilized. His 'tower' is a literal box.

But he still has choices he can make, and the ability to increase his own chance of survival. And those things are achieved mostly via passive things like observing, thinking, figuring out and figuring out the connection between the lights and the fan and destroying the lights to give himself more breathing-time; choosing not to end his own life before the others can get to him; and knowing he needs to and making himself stay still when he's attacked by the ants.

Of all of these, the only one that involves any real action (as opposed to refraining from action,) is shooting out the light, and even that involves barely any actual movement, and is mostly an achievement of cleverness and observation.

The locker room conversation he has with Warrick in the flashback, which brings up the question of whether they're more scientists or cops, is interesting in this context. For the entirety of this two-parter, Nick is limited to scientist. He can think and observe, but not participate in any action.

And the show, and the other characters, particularly Warrick and Grissom, treat Nick's behavior as a show of strength. Warrick is sure that he'd have killed himself in Nick's place. He wouldn't have lasted. Grissom notices what Nick is doing when he goes still under the ants' assault and praises it as clever.

It's also striking to me that of all of the ensemble members, they took the square-jawed white male Texan character to put in this position.

I'm not sure where, if anywhere, I'm going with all of this. But I was rewatching the episodes last night and it got me thinking.

[this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms]

You were by the nurse’s station, tablet in hand as you read over one of your patient’s chart. They were already doing so much better since you had first seen them. The moment you touched them, their injuries disappeared and they started healing from the inside. Another day and they’d be well enough to go home and finish their healing there. It made you smile to yourself, once again grateful for your abilities.

“Dr. {Last Name}?” a voice called out from behind you.

You turned around, coming face-to-face with two men you’d never seen before. One was taller than the other, giving you a soft smile as if to appear nonthreatening. The other did the same, except his was wider and more friendly.

“Yes? What can I do for you?” you asked.

“My name is Barry Allen with CCPD’s CSI and this is my colleague, Cisco Ramon. Could we talk in private?” the tall one named Barry asked.

“Sure, we can talk in my office,” you told them before beginning to walk away from the nurse’s station.

You led them down the halls of the hospital towards a small room that was your office. You opened the door and let them go in first, entering yourself once they were inside and closing the door behind you. When the door was shut, you turned to look back at them, wondering what the CSI division needed with you.

“We’re here because you were attacked a week ago, by Goldface’s men,” Barry explained.

You stood still at the mention of Goldface, for a second reliving the night you were attacked. You were walking home from your shift at the hospital when they came out of nowhere. You didn’t know what they wanted with you at first but three of his men were holding you a knife point. Their intent was to kidnap you and they would have, if it hadn’t been for The Flash saving you.

“What about them?” you asked.

“We need to know why they attacked you that night. We think it might be related to a case we’re working on,” Cisco told you.

You stayed silent for a moment, contemplating on what you should say. There was a reason you were attacked, they had planned to kidnap you for your abilities. How they found out about them was beyond you but they knew you were a meta with healing powers. A meta like you was worth millions on the black market and their every intent was to sell you to the highest bidder.

“I-I don’t know, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m sorry, I don’t think my situation is related,” you lied.

You saw Barry’s eyebrows furrow for a moment, fully knowing he didn’t believe you. You didn’t want to be involved in this, you got lucky that night and you wanted it to stay that way.

“We can help you, we’ll make sure he and his men won’t hurt you again,” Barry said, hoping to ease your worries and encourage you to speak.

You were quiet again, but something about him told you you could trust him. He felt familiar somehow. “They wanted me for my abilities. I’m a meta-human with healing powers. I don’t know how they found out, the only time I ever use my powers is here at the hospital.”

Neither of them spoke but they shared a look between each other that told you everything. They weren’t shocked about what you told them so you could only assume they had already known.

“You need to come with us. We can keep you safe until we know his men won’t be after you again,” Cisco said.

“I’m sorry I can’t. I have patients here who need me, I can’t just leave them,” you argued.

“Dr. {Last Name}, please come with us. We want to ensure your safety so your patients can continue to have a doctor like you,” Barry spoke this time.

You furrowed your brows this time, thinking about his words before ultimately nodding your head in agreement. He was right, in order for you to keep treating people as you were, you needed to be safe first. After you agreed, they told you they’d be back after your shift was over, giving you the chance to finish your day and pass your patients to someone else in the mean time.

-

|Not my GIFs|

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble Character Meta: Guangyan

Your Honor, I have no excuse for any of this. I live by the meta and die by the meta, and the storytelling in this show is so phenomenal…the thing is, there is sooo much to look at in this drama. I’d like to thank @avenuex123 for her video talking about it, because it sold me on trying the show for the first time (she does amazing drama reviews if you haven’t watched her on YouTube yet). I wanted to start out with these characters by exploring Guangyan—to be completely frank, my favorite character—because I think that in a way he experiences the most development in the series; his whole life and worldview change, and he goes from prioritizing his identity as a standoffish and praise-seeking overachiever to being a loyal and empathetic friend to Chuying and soulmate to Yiyong.

(tbh the resemblance between Yiyong and Guangyan and Elphaba and Galinda in Wicked CANNOT be overstated, look at the lyrics from “What is this Feeling?” and “For Good” and tell me that’s not their arc right there)

Ahem.

Let’s explore Guangyan through his various identities in this show.

I want to be clear at the start that although the show is not explicitly written as a BL, I do see queer undertones in his relationship with Yiyong, and that does inform my meta. Regardless of any kinds of undertones, this relationship right here is the best development of the entire series.

The Medical Student

I start here because this is one of the first things that Guangyan introduced himself with, something that he initially thinks makes him better than Yiyong, and in the last scene where he and Guangyan actually talk, it’s the thing that he wants Yiyong’s advice on pursuing. You know how you consult your calligraphy friends for pre-med advice?

Confession: I get Guangyan’s whole attitude at the start of the show. I hate it but I get it. Because I’ve been that overachiever kid (right down to the clothes, swear to god) and it’s really tempting, especially if you are younger, insecure, and/or starting out somewhere, to define yourself by and remind everyone about your most successful identity, regardless of whether it’s something you care about. Anyone who’s worn a mask of their own accomplishments knows that it’s a double edged sword—it traps you in an image, a state of being, in the minds of others.

And that is why I LOVE Guangyan’s developing interest in Forensic Medicine near the end of the show— because this is something he didn’t just choose to look good or respectable or worthy of praise, this is a really long road (just looking at the years of school required in my country), this is something he’s choosing because it can help make a difference, it can help with investigations Yiyong and Chuying work on.

The Boy Next Door

Yes, this is where my queer meta begins and doesn’t end. Apologies to Chuying, she doesn’t get much mention in this post but she will get her own whole post soon.

So.

Guangyan’s relationship with Yiyong literally changes the course of his life. He is such a different person by the end of the series—granted, he’s still fussy and the pastel tsundere of the pre-meds, but he has actual friends, he is honest about what he’s feeling, he has dreams for the future, and he’s kinder, rather than just nice. I need season 2 for many reasons, one of which is that I need Guangyan trying to become a supernatural CSI.

But this “bully” turned neighbor turned friend had that effect on him. Yiyong never told him to change, but Guangyan changed himself through his interactions with Yiyong. He’s becoming someone who wants to help people in a career that won’t be as automatically praised as a doctor. Find yourself someone who challenges your ideas and makes you reevaluate your ego while still believing you’re smart and good at things.

Ah yes, the Simping for A Hooligan Smile.

But importantly, this very quick bit right near the end of the show, when Guangyan pays his respects to Yiyong’s father and grandfather and shows them one of Yiyong’s comics he has saved on his phone, which even Yiyong’s mother giggles over as looking stupid…and there’s the drawing he snuck away that Yiyong did earlier in the series, as his phone cover…and with that bit there’s this:

Give me one heterosexual explanation for that. ONE.

But like I said, in the bigger picture it’s about the growth that is really key to seeing what Yiyong and Guangyan have changed about each other.

The reluctant frenemy ally…

becomes this:

I love the idea that Guangyan is around Yiyong’s house so much now that he is this comfortable just chilling, and I love that he’s mirroring Yiyong completely here—he could be in a chair, he could be sitting propped against the wall, but he’s chosen to lie down next to Yiyong like they’re still sharing a bed.

The Denial Expert

The show handles it sooo well—it never outright says, “Guangyan has so bought into this serious student-image that he refuses to let himself have things he really wants,” but we see evidence of it in every single episode. Actions: he won’t get a taxi when he needs one, he won’t admit to Yiyong that he’s a fan, he refuses the big bedroom bc he claims his father needs it for remote work. Possessions: he loves the amusement park toy that Yiyong won for him and attaches it to his bag, he thinks the doll is cute, he even hides his sneakily acquired Yiyong comics. Taste: he is the only one to love the cupcake made by the evil baker, and it’s only when he’s supposedly “following the kidnapping suspect” during the amusement park date with Yiyong that he eagerly order a parfait for himself and debates getting himself ice cream. You know, to blend in.

Local Housecat Wastes Time and Money in Company of Exasperated Puppy

It’s the little things—getting a bandana hand-made for him, tagging along with Yiyong to the cemetery (he so didn’t need the walking stick, you just know it was for the adventurous aesthetic), even him slowly taking more of the blanket to share as he grows more comfortable with Yiyong sharing his bed—all these things that show his growth in these episodes.

Pu Yiyong’s Comics Fan

GOSH ITS ALMOST LIKE COMICS ARE A METAPHOR OR SOMETHING

(Sorry)

Anyway. It’s just so important that Guangyan is the only person to really see Yiyong as an artist. Like most things Yiyong cares about, he doesn’t talk much about this passion of his; in the scene where they are writing their career plans in school, we see Yiyong is hesitant to write “cartoonist.” But he loves it, it’s something he’s put time and effort into building. And Guangyan is quite literally the only person who likes—loves—his art. Even his friends only support his website to be supportive. Anyway, I’m hoping in season 2 (which has to happen please please please) Yiyong finally finds out about his fan.

[kitkatt0430]

For the headcanons, how about an AU where Julian is there from s1, employed by CCPD after their other CSI got struck by lightning and comatosed for 9 months and definitely wasn't coming in to do his job

Ooooh, I like this idea a lot. :D They really did need another CSI. I mean, presumably there are others, I dunno what was up with the backlog at the start of S4 other than maybe David Singh screwing with Barry a little bit (it was funny), but there have gotta be more CSIs stationed off site. Presumably though they've always got at least one on site CSI who can explain stuff to detectives or lawyers while still keeping up with their own work.

So I think here Julian would not have changed his last name. So he's still Julian Desmond and not Julian Albert. (He did change his name in the show, though it's not clear how much of that is to distance himself from the snafu at the dig site in India and how much was to distance himself from his family after his sister's death.)

In turn, his sister is alive here and so while his relationship with his parents is troubled, he's not estranged from them.

If Julian was already employed by the city and just picked to take over as the on site CSI in Barry's absence, then he'd be a meta in S1. I think it'd make an interesting storyline to have him be kind of a jerk about metas as he was in S3, but then really explore what it means for him to find out that he's a 'dangerous meta' too. He wouldn't be a bad guy, just kind of a low level antagonist who peaks when his powers emerge, but winds up an ally of Team Flash when they help him get his powers under control.

Julian and Barry would absolutely have friction at first. Barry doesn't like how his lab has changed while he was away and expects that Julian will go back to the offsite labs now that he's back. Julian isn't about to let go of the on site lab, he likes it there and it's his now. They eventually work things out, but it takes a while.

Comics Albert Desmond had dissociative identity disorder which is where his iteration of Alchemy came from, but neither the comics nor the show treated that disorder well so I'd want to leave that out for Julian, but he could still have powers similar to what the philosopher's stone gave him. Specifically the 'transmutation' that allowed him to trigger potential metas to gain powers caterpillar style. So maybe his powers activating accidentally creates the main antagonist of an episode at least once and he, rather understandably, freaks out over it.

Eobard would absolutely be fascinated by Julian's powers. If he can create metas, could he also take away meta powers too? EoWells wants to know the answer.

I think Julian wouldn't be main Team Flash. He helps out where he can, but he doesn't have to be a genius of all trades to give him something to do every episode the way S3 decided to go. He'd be ideal for giving Barry alibis when he has to run off during work hours to be the Flash.

No Julian/Caitlin. I wasn't interested in it when the ship was danced around during S3, so I wouldn't want to see it happen in an alt S1. Besides, Caitlin is pretty tied up in the Ronnie Lives/FIRESTORM plotline, so she still has her fiance around and wouldn't be interested in a complication anyway.

[jamiesfootball]

(Posting here because I know more than a few of you pass around MacGyver stuff)

Did I start watching that MacGyver remake just so I could read fic (*cough* @altschmerzes *cough*) about it? Sure did and I AM HAVING SOME SORT OF THOUGHTS-

It’s giving me Burn Notice it’s giving me CSI Miami it’s giving me 1960s The Man from UNCLE. It’s giving me mid-aughts ‘let’s preemptively shoehorn in how Straight these guys are because they are going to be caring about each other A LOT and we need the audience to buy into the big explosions without wondering if we’re implying anything’.

Should any of these things be given to anyone? I frankly don’t care. There is a level of sincerity here that I miss from a lot of shows these days, which can sometimes be so depressingly meta that watching it turns into an uninspired intellectual exercise meant to suck all the fun out of the world in favor of being right. Meanwhile George Eads is saying something lovingly kind in a southern drawl wearing the worst shirt with the sleeves ripped off look that I’ve seen this side of Sunny, and there’s a little dude that looks like Jared Padalecki and Timothée Chalamet had a blond love child and he has childhood neglect and overachiever written all over him I can already tell he is going to be whump-tastic to me.

Sometimes I do just want to watch a physics-breaking scene of a guy hanging out of an air plane. I will complain about it, but it will be done with an air of grandiose enjoyment. To me, over-the-top procedurals are the new pulp media.

Is it a good show? Irrelevant at this juncture. They just shoehorned in some Tragic Backstory and I am eating it up like a trail of breadcrumbs made out of Hot Pockets.

Now I just need to find out if I’m going to be regular annoying about it or special filing cabinet (sideblog) annoying about. But I am already thinking of naming my special filing cabinet so it may already be decided

For added context, I’m on episode two.

Anyways, back to your regular Ted Lasso programming

[addictedtostorytelling]

hi aj! still on my rewatch (slowly but surely) and i reached 9.01. i noticed that when grissom hears on the police radio that warrick was shot he was actually buying a traveller magazine and wonder if he had been thinking of joining sara then. do you think that he would have reached that point even if they hadn’t lost warrick? i feel like his death is the first trigger to grissom deciding to retire. thanks so much for all your patience in answering these! have a great week 🤍

hi, rewatch anon!

good to hear from you again!

so i have a much longer, more detailed post outlining what i think grissom's state of mind re: following sara is between s8 and s9 which you can read here, if you're interested.

but the tl; dr version is that i think while the grissom of episode 09x01 "for warrick" may well have sara on the brain when he picks up the traveller magazine—he may be thinking of her travels and/or be considering going to visit her wherever she is and/or be mulling going on a vacation with her—for my money, he is not yet consciously considering leaving vegas to be with her (or at least not on a permanent basis) for two main reasons.

the first reason why he isn't ready to follow sara during s8 is because he feels that maybe her having some time away from him is "for the best."

as i talk about in this post,

remember: [in s8,] sara has just walked out on him, and for as much as her reasons for doing so have everything to do with her mental health and nothing to do with a lack of love for or desire to hurt him, the bottom line is that her decision isn’t one made in a vacuum; regardless of her intentions, her leaving (and especially so abruptly) does cause him pain and stoke his fears that he doesn’t fulfill her needs. he is left wondering if she could have stayed were he a better partner to her—more attentive, more experienced in love, less “in his own head.” those emotional wounds and self-doubts carry with him the whole time she’s gone, and they definitely figure in to why he doesn’t immediately go chasing after her.

his (flawed) inference is that if he had been providing sara with everything she needed from him emotionally, she wouldn't ever have left las vegas to begin with, so maybe it's best if he—and all of his emotional obtuseness—steer clear of her for the time being while she figures things out and seeks the support she needs elsewhere.

the last thing he wants in the world is to get in the way of her recovery, you know?

his second reason also ties in with the first:

he isn't prepared to follow sara yet because he is somewhat hopeful there ultimately is no need for him to do so.

because he and sara are still in regular phone contact at that time (see episodes 08x08 "you kill me" and 08x12 "grissom's divine comedy"), he has some sense that sara is not completely cut off from him and their life together in vegas; he feels as if that door is still open, at least a crack, and he is as optimistic as a realist/pessimist like him can be that she will eventually walk through it and return to him, once she has sufficiently recovered her mental health.

his plan is to honor her wishes by staying in vegas himself, giving her the time and space she needs to pursue healing, patiently waiting until she is ready to finally return home to him.

though of course he does have fears that maybe she might decide to stay away permanently—after all, it wouldn't be grissom if he didn't struggle to believe in his own lovability—between his own fears regarding his "unworthiness" and his cautious hopes that sara just needs to recalibrate before she is ready to come back to him, he remains firmly planted in vegas for the six months she is away (between november '07 and may '08).

the way i see things, it isn't until after sara's second departure from vegas in s9 that he really starts to consider following her into "the great unknown," not only because he has a sense that, at that point, her absence from sin city is more permanent but also because, as you mention, by then he is himself becoming burnt out on his job and bears some deep wounds from warrick's death which also contribute to his readiness to leave.

as i talk about here,

[by s9,] grissom is a man on the brink.  ever since sara left vegas in s8, grissom has missed her terribly and been struggling with depression. the lab, which was once his safe place, his “well-ordered kingdom” in an otherwise chaotic world, has become increasingly strange and unwelcoming to him, and particularly as the team has changed, with sara’s departure (which sparked the beginning of the end), warrick’s death (which has been, in itself, another huge and devastating blow), and riley’s addition (which has proven to grissom that things will never be the same again as they were before).   add in the extra heartbreak of sara returning briefly to vegas for warrick’s funeral, spending four months in town, and then suddenly leaving again without even saying goodbye—plus the fact that grissom feels as if he may have truly lost her this time around, given his unwillingness to follow her into the unknown—and you’ve got a grissom who is one step away from completely falling apart.  whereas he once took satisfaction and even comfort in his job, nowadays the cases he investigates horrify and disturb him. he’s lost his appetite. he’s having nightmares. he can barely sleep. barely think. one of the worst parts to all of this is that he is without his usual support system: normally, when he needs comfort, encouragement, and understanding, he turns to sara, but he can’t do that now, not with her gone. what’s more: he is almost haunted by sara’s absence. she was at the heart of both his work and his home life. she was his partner, his right hand, his roommate, his confidante, his support system,his best friend, his lover, his spouse, and his whole world. every place he goes reminds him of her in some way, from their condo (which now feels impossibly empty in her absence), to the lab, to different places around the city where they’ve investigated crimes. hell, he can’t even sleep without dreaming about her—about how he’s lost her. she’s everywhere to him and yet nowhere, and he can’t seem to focus on anything aside from the terrible ache in his chest from missing her so much. that’s the mental space that grissom is in going into episode 09x05 “leave out all the rest”—and then the episode starts with sara finally contacting him, after so many months of radio silence, only to break up with him via video email, telling him not to worry about her anymore and acting like what they’ve had is ~over, even though, for him, it very much isn’t. that is the final blow—the thing that pushes him to the absolute brink of his ability to cope.

so, ultimately, it isn't just one factor that brings grissom to the point where he is ready to leave town but rather a concatenation of them.

outside of missing sara, he is also becoming increasingly horrified by the human depravity he witnesses night in and night out on his job (see, for example, his reaction to the case in episode 09x06 "say uncle") and increasingly unsatisfied with the changes to his work life and team (including the losses of both sara and warrick and the addition of riley adams to the graveyard shift).

warrick's death likewise weighs on him.

heavily.

as i talk about here,

obviously, when warrick dies, it’s devastating for grissom, not only because he holds warrick in his arms as it happens but because he loved warrick so deeply. for as much as grissom’s s9 depression is a product of him missing and being heartbroken over sara, it also is a product of his grief over warrick—and i honestly think that had warrick not died at that time, grissom probably would have taken longer to decide to leave the lab than he does in canon; warrick’s death just shuts the door on that chapter of his life in a very final kind of way. he never truly gets over it.

between all of the above stressors, grissom eventually finds that not only is he willing to leave las vegas but he's ready to.

in the past, clinging to his job had always been "enough" for him, but now he finds he does not take the same pleasure in his work as he formerly did and he needs more—a change of scene and venue, new endeavors in which to invest himself, and, most importantly, human connection; specifically, with the love of his life, sara.

as stated above, i do think that had warrick not died at the start of s9, grissom may have taken longer to eventually reach that breaking point, not only because then sara would not have returned to vegas at the start of s9 only to leave again, shattering grissom's illusions that she might eventually come home for good in the process, but also because he wouldn't have been half as miserable at the lab in that case as he ultimately became in canon.

had warrick still been around, he could have probably mollified himself for somewhat longer; kept convincing himself, "i don't need to come to her. she'll eventually come back to me. everything'll be fine. i just need to keep my head down and do my work in the meanwhile—"

that said, i do believe that grissom still would have ultimately arrived at a point where the center could not hold—where it became apparent to him that he just couldn't be satisfied living his life without sara (even for the sake of his work).

even before grissom was ready to follow her in s8, he was still uncomfortable in her absence and longed to be near her again, and that discomfort and longing only would have grown the longer that she stayed away.

though i can't say exactly when, i am sure there would have someday (probably sooner rather than later) come a time when grissom couldn't stand to live apart from his one true love anymore, even if warrick hadn't died.

so if she hadn't been willing to come home to him*, then he would have eventually gone out to her.

* and who knows? maybe if warrick hadn't died, sara might have eventually come back to vegas of her own volition (to stay) once she was ready. after all, she does eventually move back there and even resume working at the lab come s10, so obviously that development isn't outside of the realm of possibility for her.

anyway.

those are my takes.

thanks for the questions! please feel welcome to send more any time.

[hollygl125]

On taking a risk:

I love these two. Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom. Jorja Fox and William Petersen. I love them both. I love them all. (If you’re following this blog, this probably doesn’t come as a surprise to you.)

I love these two moments. I love these moments for Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom. I love these performances by Jorja Fox and William Petersen.

In discussing the new song for which she co-wrote the lyrics, Jorja Fox said (slightly cleaned up by me), “It’s worth taking a risk to get to love someone and be loved.” In “Girls Gone Wilder,” (CSI, 15x05), Sara Sidle says, “I mean, to be with somebody who really gets you, who loves you for who you are—I don’t know. I think it’s worth the risk.” In A History of My Brief Body, Billy Ray-Belcourt (a writer and academic from the Driftpile Cree Nation) writes, “To love someone is firstly to confess: I’m prepared to be devastated by you.”

And I love these two moments because, to me, they both really show that risk—the risk of devastation, of being devastated by someone.

Based on what we see in the first scene, I’ve always believed Sara didn’t know Grissom was coming to the rainforest for her. Maybe after his initial non-answer answer he believed she deserved such a sweeping gesture; maybe he believed she’d be less likely to reject him in person. But he goes after her. During his trek through the rainforest, he’s eager to find her. Then finally he does, and, in that moment when he stands there, before she turns around, I think there is anticipation but also clear awareness of that risk.

For years he feared he might put everything that was comfortable in his life at risk for Sara only to have her ultimately reject him. It’s a risk that, in “Butterflied” (CSI, 04x12), he initially described himself as having been unable to take. But now, here, he’s really done it: he has given up his job and everything comfortable and safe, and he still risks Sara’s rejection. But now he knows—he knows that the risk is worthwhile—it’s a risk he is willing to take, because he knows what it is to love and to be loved by Sara.

In the second scene, I also think Grissom does not know that Sara is coming after him. She looks a bit worried when she gets out of the cab and scans the marina for him, she hurries down the ramp, but then she looks pretty calm as she’s walking down the dock to him. He has, after all, just declared (albeit not directly to her) his love for her, that she’s been his best friend, that she’s restored his faith in the human being, that he’ll miss her for the rest of his life. So our girl should be pretty confident in her endeavour. But, then again, the man did divorce her, and she’s just 100% given up her new job (if you use the deleted scenes as your headcanon, which JF would have to have been doing at the time) to come after him.

So she looks pretty calm heading down the dock, but then there’s that moment where she’s standing in front of him, waiting for him to do something—your move, buddy. And she does this little intake of breath at the end, and I feel like that’s the moment where you really feel how much she is putting her heart out there; she is risking everything, like he has done before. It’s that little intake of breath that seems to jar him into movement. But it’s in that moment that I really feel how much she is willing to put herself at risk for this man, how she is willing to risk her heart—but, of course, this is Sara, so I think she has always been willing to risk everything for this man.

At different times in the series (Sara in “Girls Gone Wilder” and Grissom in “Immortality”), both Sara and Grissom speak of love and their relationship with the other in a manner that shows they both thought their relationship was worth the risk even when they thought it didn’t have a happy ending. (Cue the tears.)

@addictedtostorytelling has some relatively short meta on that subject, and you should probably go read it if you want to feel weepy for a bit.

In chapter 13 of my current fic, I let the characters themselves discuss the same. (I’ll probably leave you less weepy. I just went back to look at that chapter, and honestly I made myself a little weepy. I’m pretty much non-stop tears and anxiety, though, so you probably shouldn’t let me be your gauge.)

The events that necessitated the events of “Immortality” should never have happened; they were a complete betrayal, and I will never think otherwise. But I do love the parallels that were created in the end: both characters giving up what had become a very comfortable existence for a chance—a chance—at happiness—a chance (no guarantee, still the risk of rejection) to go off on an adventure with the one they love. They are both willing to risk that utter devastation, and I love it, and I love them.

So, yes, I love these two and their story, and I love these performances.

Also, GSR Day is tomorrow (except it’s actually today—February 9—because I always end up posting things after midnight). Since this is nothing but the first of my completely made-up GSR holidays, I will probably do nothing but reblog my first GSR Day post and post a completely unrelated GIF-set and maybe re-read my “how they met” fic. Actually, now that I think about that last one, I’m kind of excited for it. So happy almost-GSR Day. Did I mention I love these two? 😉

(I have to add that, according to Zuiker, they did not have much time or money to shoot “Immortality,” and it definitely shows in the lighting on Jorja Fox’s face in parts of that final scene. So, for the second gif: it’s not me doing odd things; it’s the source material.)

[buildinggsr]

So, there is this pond of mud of an episode. An episode where everything you see is distilled sadness, basically. The plot, the development of the characters…everything. The very end, too, is heart-wrenchingly sad.

Yet -

Throughout all this sadness and “I’ll never watch this again”, is a gem. A very little gem, but shining as pure poetry, where you are enabled to enter and see the very heart of a relationship between a woman and a man.

(This had to accompany the gifset on 8.07, but I didn’t feel to publish it at the time. A few days ago I found this again among my writings and I thought it could be of some interest, maybe? Keep in mind that this was not proofread and I’m the strange dude of the fandom with strange ideas.)

She is shy; he is happy. Her "Hi" is feeble, uncertain; his "Hi" is joyful and a bit surprised. She is shy because she feels she has something to make up for – she had behaved not rightly towards him; he is happy, elated almost, because he has already forgiven her – there's nothing to forgive in the first place, in his eyes. 

She wavers, her look low, not knowing where to start. It's him, the one who’s usually quieter, the one who usually doesn't know where to start, to spur her to speak – whatever she says will be fine, she can trust him.

"Ok, what's up?" He spurs her in a friendly and loving way, a permanent open smile always on his face, because he's curious to know what's going on, curious to know more about the multitudinous emotions dwelling in her deep soul. 

She waits a moment. Then, "I'm sorry," she says. She almost spits out that sorry, because it’s the most urgent thing she has to tell him, but also because it’s the easiest thing to say for her right now. And also, it is the clearest thing to both of them. She says I'm sorry, in fact, as though she knows he already knows she is – but it’s important to say it out loud.

And he already knows it, indeed. Sure enough, he just gives a little nod, like saying, I know that, but for what precisely?

This is a very precious GSR moment to me. 

I always found the choice to film the scene the way it's filmed curious. Before this moment, we had other "intimate" moments between them, but in the other situations we had almost frontal close-ups, or at least we were in the same room where the action was developing – we were close to them (e.g. 4.23 Bloodlines, 5.12 Snakes, 5.13 Nesting Dolls, 6.24 Way to Go, 7.08 Happenstance, etc.). Now, instead, we're kept at a certain distance, and we see them only in profile as if we were watching them through the keyhole. There are people passing by between us and them, and we can see the frame of something in Grissom's framing. 

Also, the moment is a waiting one: here, we feel, must come some big revelation or something that, alas, only will arrive dramatically at the end of the episode. Yet, the framing change is pretty fast, each framing lasting just a few seconds. All this together leaves you with the feeling of kind of chasing them, and you crave to see more of this moment, more of the expressions on their faces, more of the feelings they're feeling. More of their hearts. More of them. 

In this confusing tension of wanting to know, wanting to see, wanting to feel, we see a man who's usually quiet and shy and submissive showing to be the stronger one, to be ready to "fight" for her to be fine (and consequently for them to be fine), while she, usually the fighter, is the weaker one. She's feeble as her initial "Hi”. We have seen her looking for support in him many times throughout the years (1.10 Sex, Lies and Larvae, 1.16 Too tough to die, 2.11 Organ Grinder, etc.), but now, although the dynamic is the same, the action develops with a different feeling, to me.

Before, when asked for help, he looked somehow detached from her. Even the times he holds her hand, in 4.23 Bloodlines e 5.13 Nesting Dolls, for example, it still feels like, although he deeply participates in Sara's suffering or discomfort, he's something separated from her, another person, physically and mentally. Depending on the stage the development of their relationship had reached, over the years in this kind of situation he had behaved like a boss, or like a friend, or even an intimate friend. Yet, there still wasn't, in those past moments, the intimacy typical of the engaged couples, I think. Now, instead, that intimacy shines like a diamond. It's brilliant and beautiful, and as simple as their relationship has been difficult in the past. While before Sara was looking for help in Grissom because he was someone she trusted, now she does so because he is her partner – in the boyfriend-future-husband meaning. He’s her family. 

It's the first time, I think, we see the intellectual intimacy that has characterized the whole first season of CSI:Vegas so clearly. By now, we have seen them behaving like a couple numerous times. Through little details, we have seen them grow as a couple. Since the beginning of their intimate relationship we have seen them playing like kids with their cameras on a crime scene, shaving, watching movies, facing a “little” crisis during the case involving Heather in 7.23 The Good, the Bad and the Dominatrix. But even in this last case, we were not given to see how things developed to fix the crisis – as much as we were not given to see the very beginning of their relationship (in San Francisco or Vegas). Now, instead, we actually see them, in front of our very eyes, talk openly - or at least trying to do so damn phones. 

At this point, he has already made the proposal, and she said yes (yeah!). It is decided, they will get married. The relationship has hopped to another level. So, probably, it’s like they kind of feel as though they are already married and behave as such. Yes, they were already married since season 1, but I think this shines through this scene in such a clear way that always leaves me on the verge of crying. 

And, although the moment in 8.07 is not a happy one, it's so moving to see the embryo of what we know they are now, of the intimacy they have now, of the happy couple they are now, almost 20 years ahead.

I’m not sure if I was able to express all the feelings this very short moment gives me. To sum it up, I just wanted to say that it drives me crazy.

[autisticheadcanons]

Dr. Julian Albert Desmond from CW's The Flash is autistic.

-Something we learn about Julian quite early on is that he is extremely organized and diligent, thus making him come off as uptight and rigid. He has expressed dislike for other people getting in the way of his work, especially Barry, and was extremely hesitant to be shadowed by him.

-He was born into a wealthy family and was meant to inherit a lot of money when he grew older, but he was always the odd one out in his family and would rather go out and explore than engage in formal activities.

-"I don't trust you, and I don't like things I don't trust." -> Julian tells Barry this when asked why he dislikes him so much.

-Julian is a stickler for rules and even reports Barry to his boss, complaining about how the rules just don't seem to apply to him when he always shows up late and breaks a multitude of other regulations.

-Julian is extremely blunt about everything and doesn't waste time with small talk. He struggles to empathize with other peoples' struggles sometimes and is called out on this in several situations.

-He is extremely passionate about science and many fields within it. Despite not specializing in medicine, he was able to surgically remove shrapnel from inside of Caitlin with nothing but verbal instructions from her.

-Julian feels betrayal deeply, and he's one to hold a grudge. He quickly fell in love with Caitlin after joining Team Flash, but after she confesses to betraying the team he barely speaks to her and loses all trust despite everyone else understanding and forgiving what she did, though the two do make up eventually.

-He has a strong sense of justice, as shown by his contempt for meta-humans and the way that he forced Barry to quit his job as a CSI because he felt that his lab partner's moral perception was clouded.

-It's constantly commented on how lonely he always is, and he always responds saying he likes it that way.

-He hyperfixates a lot on things, and this is only amplified when he joins the team. Most often he hyperfixates on Caitlin. They're both quite similar, being rather reserved compared to everyone else, and they connect quickly about being given abilities that neither of them want. Upon her transformation into Killer Frost, Julian feels guilty about it and gets frustrated that the team isn't doing everything in their power to find and cure her. At the end of the season when she leaves, he returns to his home in London, and it's implied that she's the only reason he joined Team Flash in the first place.

[writer-at-the-table]

The response of mid-2000s network crime shows to emerging technologies, especially online, is fascinating

[symbioticsimplicity]

Random ask for WIP rambles time! If the cast of Carpe Noctem could meet one character from anotherseries/media/story each, who would they want to meet?

(Bonus: The same question for the convenience store witches cause I love those two)

Oooooh this is a fun one!

Xinghua would want to meet either Celine from the Underworld series, or Bayonetta mostly because she's really gay and wants those women to step on her throat.

Ransom is a dork and he'd want to meet either Columbo or Grisham from the OG CSI.

Frost shouldn't be allowed this one but he'd want to meet Dante from Devil May Cry. He just thinks hes neat.

Trish would actually kill a man to meet the Demon Slayer cast. Or the Fruits Basket cast.

Ziggy would want to meet the actual Ziggy Stardust, from the Man Who Fell To Earth movie.

Tom would probably like to meet Andrew Ryan and Dr. Suchong of Bioshock.

Bonus Convenience Store Witches:

Seven CAN meet anyone he wants to, and for the most part HAS so I'll highlight the ones he'd like to meet again. Naruto, because they can match energy, and Sephiroth because they ALSO can match energy.

Eleven really wants to meet Snoop Dogg. Who, while not fictional, is enough of a legend to transcend into being meta?? He will, one day, but he thinks it'd be nice to meet him before then.