#meta? in my angsty fanfic? more likely than you think

[babsvibes]

Hey If you don’t mind if I ask what was the inspiration for your story

It’s my party and I’ll fry if I’ll want to

Like the plot line or the character dynamic’s etc

AND AND Like WHY couldn’t Louise see that she’s in LOVE with Logan!!!!!

I absolutely don’t mind and in fact am thrilled that you want to know more about this piece! Thank you for asking!

It’s My Party (and I’ll fry if I want to): Rated E. “From the way the chairs on either side of her remain empty to the way the bartender—whose name she can’t bother to remember—never stays too long in her corner, Louise determines they’re all scared of the woman who mutters to herself while tearing paper label after paper label.”

The important thing about this story, no matter the inspiration, is that Louise, Logan, and Rudy ALL needed to be shown as complicated individuals, sympathetic and not at the same time, or none of it would have mattered. There is no completely right or wrong answer to life, and shit is messy in It’s My Party.

The inspiration for the character dynamics is actually a pretty uncomplicated answer! I asked “what would happen if I cranked these characters flaws up to 11” and then boom. Done. I wrote a few more notes on this on chapter two of this fic. As for the inspiration for the piece itself?

I won’t lie to you, this started as spite fic. It was only supposed to be the first scene in the bar, and Louise was originally going to leave with Logan then and there. I was in a place where I was tired of seeing Logan written as a villain, but never… in character? So, in the way that Linda explains how to throw a shrimp, I said “That’s not how you write Logan as a villain. THIS is how you write Logan as a villain.”

But then it… evolved? I sat down to write and just more and more things poured out until I realized I couldn’t write a spite fic, nor did I ever really want to. I had something more nuanced I wanted to say. Something that was meaningful—to me at least. And when you’re dealing with nuance, there’s not room for a Good Guy and a Bad Guy.

It also probably isn’t all that surprising that this is a… deeply personal story. Deeply personal, but also a story shared by a lot of people—usually women but not always. When you grow up being told that the way you think and act is in some way inherently wrong by institutions (for me, it was my family, my religion, my community), it’s not something you can shrug off. And sometimes you unfortunately start playing a part that isn’t right for you because maybe it’s supposed to make things “easier,” maybe it’s supposed to be “good.” And also, sometimes, it starts manifesting as self-hatred.

As an outsider, it’s easy to look at Louise’s situation and think “man… she really needs to leave Rudy,” but that undermines that she does love him and him needing her is going to mean something. Yes, she loves Logan too, but the theme of “love” isn’t what’s pulling the most strings (even though, yes, it definitely should be a focus, and that’s one of the reasons this story happens in the first place).

The relationship between Want and Need ends up playing a much bigger role. Louise may know she wants Logan but she is too disconnected from herself to be able to tell what she needs. Aren’t there some pieces of you that have wanted to be needed? Being needed is like being handed a purpose on a silver platter, and that’s hard to turn down even if it’s draining every last ounce of your spirit. This coincides with Logan and Rudy’s feelings towards her. Logan says it flat out at one point, “I want you, but he needs you.” That contraction with the “but” is meant to imply that the reverse is also true. Logan doesn’t need Louise and Rudy doesn’t want her. Or, at least, that’s how they’re presenting themselves. How is Louise supposed to be able to tell which is more valuable when she’s already so disconnected? Why does each one come with a catch?

And that’s how you get a story like It’s My Party.

Anyway, I’m just now realizing you may have wanted to know the answer behind this specific plot (ie: Louise and Rudy are in an unhappy relationship when her ex Logan moves back into town). It felt like the best way to explore closure and unmet needs by having these contrasting separations (physical and emotional) pulling Louise in different directions and confusing her.

Also, straight up, if I can be real with you… the idea of finally taking what you want even when it’s wrong is hot 🔥

[one-flower-one-sword]

what's your favorite part of TGCF, and what about it do you like so much? ignore me if you've shared this before

omg it's been so long since you sent this ask, I am so sorry T_T I was really grateful to for you sending it, but stuff kept coming up and I simply did not have the emotional energy, and also did not want to give a half-hearted reply. that said I often struggle at articulating exactly why I like something, but I'll try!!

okay first thing that comes to mind when I think of why I like TGCF so much is that I really enjoy MXTX's writing style - of course, what I read was the English translation but I assume her style still comes across. I find the way the novel is written both very easy and very engaging to read. I was never bored and on the contrary had a really hard time putting down each volume so as not to read it all in one go. All the emotions came across really well, the novel succeeded both in making me laugh and making me cry. That's another thing I like about it, that with this story you get the whole range of comedy, action, romance, and horror. It's rare that a story manages to both incorporate and balance these at times contrasting aspects so well.

I also really liked how poetic the writing was at times, and how both philosophical and political concepts and ethics were woven into the plot and expressed through the characters.

Speaking of, I enjoyed all the characters so much. They're so well-rounded and feel so real, and there are so many interesting side characters. Jun Wu is a fantastic antagonist and Hualian are such an engaging pairing. I love both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng as individual characters as well as a couple - right from the start you can tell how much they simply enjoy each other's company, and their romance is just… it really moved my heart.

As for a favorite scene… there are so many!!! it's really hard to pick. I love Xie Lian meeting Hua Cheng “for the first time” at the beginning of the story and being so immediately intrigued with him, it's such a peak romantic encounter. I also love the reveal in the caves, even though (or because) parts of it are so heartbreaking, since it's rare to see Hua Cheng so vulnerable and emotional. I enjoy angsty moments like that a lot, I have to admit….

If I have to pick a single favorite moment, it'd be the battle between Hua Cheng and Jun Wu in Vol 8. First of all, super engaging fight scene, love that. Also epic as fuck!! like them fighting on top of The Heaven-Crossing Bridge that shakes every time their swords clash from how powerful the blows are while Hua Cheng's wraith butterflies face off against the vengeful spirits below? damn.

Then the delicious angst of Xie Lian being absolutely terrified for Hua Cheng, especially when Jun Wu starts to ruthlessly take advantage of Hua Cheng's disability*… and then it all culminating in Xie Lian still defying Jun Wu and sticking to what he's always known is right, and then ending in Hua Cheng's sacrifice, another peak romantic scene that had my heart race and made me cry so many tears. All of it exceeded my expectations for that final confrontation, I was just completely emotionally satisfied.

*Not gonna go into it here in detail since I've already posted it about several times and more in depth, but given the topic of this ask I can't not mention how intrigued I was by the way Hua Cheng navigates their world while disabled, the way he can compensate for it in some ways but not in others. It's a not insignificant part of why I love him as a character so much.

Last but not least the novel accompanied me all through last year and the beginning of this one and got me through some tough times. more than that, it made me take up meta and fanfic writing again after a long creative drought, and I will always look at it fondly and with gratitude for that.

hope this turned out a satisfying answer! what's your favorite part of the novel? :3c

[granny-griffin]

Original Story Recs: Halloween Edition

From the author of the bnha fic Butterfly comes another very creepy story! Except this one is way shorter and also not a fanfic. One day, people and animals freeze in place, and if you touch them, you freeze in place too. Nobody knows why this is happening or how to stop it.

Another super messed up short story from the author of ABOT. But I actually found this story genuinely sweet! You know. despite all the child abandonment and murder. Anyway if I say anything else I’m gonna end up spoiling it so just read it.

Considerably less of a horror story than the previous two, but it has a werewolf so it’s very festive. Also if I’m remembering the protagonist is an epic middle aged woman who sits there and knits (maybe crochets??) the whole time while she’s talk no jutsu-ing the werewolf. It’s awesome.

Okay listen. I just have to confess. I’m super biased toward this one hdlshd but listen. It’s pretending to be a romance story, but it actually exists to answer the age old question: what would happen if a vampire took communion? Anyway come and get your niche theological metas here.

Okay I had one with a werewolf and one with a vampire so here’s one with a zombie! Eve is one of the walking dead, but she’s determined not to eat people. You know. since that’s kind of a mean thing to do. But this is very difficult since all her friends are eating people! maybe this was why I liked it hdksdh I’m here for the difficult moral struggle. Stay strong Eve! (btw this one is multichapter while the others are oneshots)

Gotta round out my halloween monster collection! This one is about a guy wandering a deserted battlefield and being angsty, but he also has a loyal pegasus friend so that’s pretty rad. Also there’s a storm blowing in so its also very aesthetic. And there’s ghosts.

[ilovedthestars]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

I was tagged by @dendrochilums and @blessphemy !

Words and Fics On AO3

29,868 words, of which 27,560 were actually fic (excluding meta and fanart image descriptions)

12 fanworks, of which 8 were new fics, 2 were fanart, 1 was meta, and 1 was a new chapter to a previously existing fic.

All for Murderbot, except for Things in the Shadows, my Witch King fanfic (and first foray into non-murderbot fic!)

My lifetime AO3 wordcount (since spring 2022) is 55,365

My lifetime actual written wordcount of Murderbot fanfic is somewhere on the order of 250,000 (give or take some duplicate drafts that are getting counted twice in scrivener)

Top Fics by Kudos

My actual top fics by kudos are mostly from 2022

Of the ones published/updated this year, An Unexpected Quarter wins. This is the one that I originally published in 2022 and updated with a surprise second chapter in 2023, so I think the age bias for kudos is still showing

The highest fic originally published in 2023 is Operation Parsec, which is 10th on the overall list. It's also the literal first fic I posted that year, as it was written for the New Years gift exchange. Yeah, I think my kudos rankings are almost entirely based on age

Fics and Fanart on Tumblr

By my count I made 12 fanart posts in my #stars art tag! This includes Many-Colored Strings and Ghosts of the Pressy, the two fanart pieces that I posted to AO3. (Ghosts of the Pressy is technically from 2022, but I didn't share it outside of discord until 2023)

Because I didn't have a tumblr until this year, I decided to go back through my list of ao3 works and post links to them under my #stars ao3 reruns tag

I posted snips from nine unpublished Murderbot fic wips for the Trick or Treat ask game (which are all linked in this post)

And had fun with lots of other ask games, tag games, and rambling about my wips in general! More can be found in #stars fic, #stars wips and #stars ocs

Fandom Fic Events 2023

Last year's Murderbot Diaries New Years Gift exchange ( @mbd-gift-exchange ), for which I wrote Operation Parsec for Lillow and received this gorgeous artwork from @acornwizard!!

The Aspec Murderbot Diaries event, for which I created Many-Colored Strings based on a prompt about platonic soulmate AUs

The Murderbot discord's AUpril event, for which I created several snips and small artworks that were shared only on discord

And several other less formal events/collaborations on discord, like the fictional art exhibition in the future of the MBD universe (i should get around to archiving the snips i wrote for this, I don't think I ever posted them, but I did help organize the ao3 collection)

Upcoming 2024

My gift project for this year's New Years gift exchange!

At least a dozen wips I'd like to get finished, and have no idea when or which order that will happen in, but among my top priorities:

The final 3-ish chapters of Old Unit, Young Unit

Several follow-ups to Salvage or Repair, ft. Yuma and Crowbar, particularly an immediate follow-up fic and a spinoff fic featuring two new OCs with an angsty past

Various other Polaris things that I can share after I finish OU,YU, including Niri POVs, some past & future spinoffs, and OldUnit's official company file

maybe that "Murderbot has a cat" fic that I already wrote most of but have been wanting to polish up for months now?

A revisit to my semi-abandoned Three time travel fix-it where One and Two live, perhaps? I'm low on energy but SC did give me some new ideas...

This was very fun, thanks for the tag! Rules copied below, I added some new categories but the main ones seem to be Words and Fics, Top Fics by Kudos, Fandom Events, and Upcoming 2024.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass, just keep on scrolling.

I'll tag @specialagentartemis, @every-eye-evermore, @all-all0s-eyes, and anyone else who's interested!

[maeve-on-mustafar]

hello there, you don't have to answer this but I've seen times you felt uncomfortable with how you're received in the fandom and wanted to tell you, that doesn't seem to be the case! you have...kudos is not everything ofc, but your amazing writing attracts more than enough attention in this size of a fandom, and i read all the fics in sw, trust me. If your flame isn't dead yet, I'd love to see more, your writing, your meta, anything! It's not easy, but I sincerely hope you find your peace!!

Hi anon, I know it’s been a while, but I’d really like to take this moment to thank you and everyone else who’ve sent me encouraging asks this past year. I know I haven’t responded to many of them, and that’s entirely on me, and I can only apologize.

I’ve been really struggling this past year in regard to my writing. Something I genuinely believe about fanfic is that readers do not want and do not like new ideas. I don’t say this to be an angsty tortured artist; it’s just what I honestly think after being in fandom for a while. But it’s not a helpful thought pattern for me, since I tend not to like much of the standard fanon of any fandom I’m in and sometimes find it outright irreconcilable with with the actual canon characters.

What I’ve been trying to do is concentrate on the characters I like and how I view them, and doing my best to create a story that provides my perspective in a way that’s both authentic and convincing. It’s not always easy, and I still feel down sometimes about stories I feel like are doomed to bomb from the outset. But I do my best to keep in mind that I wasn’t writing anything at all for months before now, and at least at this point, I’m getting words on the page.

Personally, I think another reason why I’ve been so reluctant is because while Star Wars has been basically the only fandom I’ve wanted to write for during the past few years, back in the spring I started to really feel the urge to write fic for DC Comics. And unfortunately, none of the characters I want to write for are members of the Batfamily, so that means that any potential audience is severely limited from the start. And I feel incredibly bad about that.

I’ve tried to tell myself that I don’t like much Batfamily fanon, so even if I wrote fic for them, people wouldn’t enjoy it all that much, but it’s cold comfort, TBH. I have fic ideas for my DC faves that I’ve daydreamed about for literal years, but there’s really no one around to listen to them or even read them if I write them. So I’ve made a deal with myself that as soon as I finish up a few Star Wars projects I’ve been working on, I’ve going to try my hand at one (1) DC fic, and if it bombs, I’ll never have to write for DC again. I know it might sound weird, given that no one is making me write for DC in the first place, but I feel better knowing that I can give up after trying once instead of subjecting myself to failed fic after failed fic, knowing I have 0.0005% of convincing anyone to read anything I write anyway. It feels good to know I don’t have to keep trying at something that will make me feel worse about myself.

So that’s about where I am right now. I’m focusing on a few Star Wars fics for the foreseeable future, and then at least one DC fic in my spare time. I’m not 100% comfortable where I am in fandom, but I’m better than I was, and I appreciate you and any others who’ve reached out these past six months or so.

[bluebaric]

The new chapter killed me. So freaking good it’s my favourite fanfic bar none at the minute.

The vindictive letter Alicent sent had me crying 😂 I know it’s angsty but honesly queen shit.

I love it so much.

I do have a question though.

Would rhaenyra care if she came back and Alicent was with criston? ie jealousy.

Are we gonna see more about the brothels ect I think like something else might me there maybe with daemon but might just be my mind because I’m over thinking about the story because I love it so much 😭

So talented and so many words per chapter absolute machine at writing

❤️

first of all, I just want to say thank you so much for reading and enjoying!! i'm so happy to hear that my silly little fic is bringing you such joy.

in regards to ur questions:

as far as rhaenyra's pushing alicent towards criston, the subject will be broached further in the next chap so i didn't want to give too much away. i will say though that in my mind, rhaenyra's letter was written with the best of intentions, not necessarily to get a rise out of alicent or get a longer letter back—i mean, she would've liked a longer letter but probably could've done without the extreme emotional duress. she genuinely just wants alicent to be happy, as laena explained, and this was just a particularly stupid expression of that sentiment. as far as whether or not she'd be jealous... that's a good question... why would she care about who alicent is in a relationship with... when they don't even have romantic feelings for each other... obviously... ;)

(alicent is not going to shack up with criston, so we'll never really get to know how rhaenyra would've reacted. i'll say tho that i think she would try to be all noble and self-sacrificing about it, but deeply regret having suggested it in the first place. she'd want to be happy for alicent but she'd probably find that more difficult that she expected it to be.)

then, as for the brothels, i will say that this thread has sparked a lot more theorizing than i expected it to, which is perhaps my fault. i suppose it's all presented in a very mysterious light. but in my mind, rhaenyra has just been living it up in king's landing since essentially when her mother died, following her desires where ever they led her. there's certainly a debate to be had about the ethics of purchasing sex and how it ought to reflect on someone's character, especially in this pseudo time period i've set the fic in—questions which i do Not feel equipped to answer in my little lesbian dragon show fanfiction. but in my mind, rhaenyra is very considerate and gracious with every person she sleeps with, she just happens to sleep with a lot of people and pay for it sometimes.

ahhh that was probably more in depth than you wanted or needed. i'm just so flattered to know that people are thinking this much—or at all tbh—about something i wrote, and i am egotistical enough to also really enjoy spewing meta bout my own writing.

thank you so much for your questions and for reading :D

[soleminisanction]

Hi, hope you’re having a good day! I was wondering, if you are in the right mood for it, if you might talk about your feelings about Damian. I have such mixed feelings about him (and Stephanie tbh) and you’ve done some really cool meta. Thank you either way. Oh and I loved your little Tim snippets you put out a while ago

Thank you! Kind of you to say.

Damian... oh, Damian. I'm very much in the same boat regarding mixed feelings towards him. There are some aspects of him I really enjoy. He takes the lead in some of my favorite fanfics, especially the ones that really dig into his relationship with Tim and explore how working through that conflict (rather than avoiding it, like most people do, including canon) could really help Damian grow as a person and mature into a true hero.

And I think he's got a lot of potential for fun stories. I enjoy him as a character whose whole concept could not exist anywhere but superhero comics. When played right, his unique balance of absurd hypercompetence, Troubling Unchildlike Behavior, archaic chivalry, snobbish brattiness and rare-but-achingly-sincere vulnerability can be a lot of fun.

It's just a shame that so much of his content is anything but that.

At this point, canon Damian is, more often than not, little more than a misplaced chuunibyou light novel protagonist, complete with no less than three Big Titty Goth Girlfriends and the overall narrative aesthetic of an angsty 13-year-old's DeviantArt gallery. I cannot take any of his stories seriously because he's trying so damn hard to be edgy and important and he just looks like a dumbass kid. Lighten up, small child. Goddamn.

The most interesting thing about him lately is that all his male friends keep coming out of the closet. I doubt this will actually lead to a future where Damian is acknowledged as asexual but hey, an enby can dream.

But my big Damian hot take?

I want to know when he's finally going to grow up and admit that he doesn't want to be Robin.

It makes no goddamn sense that his current book is called Robin. He doesn't look like a Robin, he doesn't act like a Robin, and he's not telling Robin stories. Literally the only things in that stupid book that have anything to do with Robin are Connor Hawke (who was Tim's friend first) and that one stupid issue that was clearly inserted in by editorial mandate where the other Robins showed up purely so Damian could beat three of them up and get his ego stroked by Dick, yet again.

It wouldn't have been a huge major change or anything, but I think the story would've made just a little more sense if, instead of insisting on the Robin branding after his big dramatic storm-off, Damian went off to wear the exact same costume and tell the exact same story, but did it under the title Son of Batman or In the Shadow of the Bat and registered for that tournament under the "fake name" of Ibn al'Xuffasch. That would be a clever continuity shout-out, deepen the themes of him reconnecting with the al'Ghul side of his lineage and struggling against Bruce's expectations, and as a bonus, make way more sense, given that Tim is clearly in Gotham being Robin while Damian is doing nothing of the sort.

But somebody coughStephaniecoughJasonStanscough turned Robin from "a job" into "a participation trophy" to coddle widdle baby egos and so it's now considered some horrible offense to not acknowledge Da Holy Blood Son as the One Twue Robin even when he clearly has no interest in actually being Robin, he just feels entitled to it and to the respect that comes with it. So we're stuck with it, for now, I guess.

So those are my rambling thoughts on Damian. I hope he gets better writers someday. I hear he's good in the animated movies.

[gwlemonyshenanigans]

Spotlight Friday

It’s that time of the week again! Without further ado, we’d like to introduce…

Iruusu

Where can we find you? (Ao3, FFN, Tumblr, etc?)

iruusu on ao3, @judaru on tumblr, and @sinjuism on twitter 🙇🏻‍♀️

Who is your favorite character?

Duo!! And it’s not even close, I love him 🥺 He is so pretty and kind, but also brave and strong… I am so proud of him 🤧

Which is your favorite Gundam?

At risk of sounding like a fake fan but I’m not really… a connoisseur of mecha LMAO, so I don’t really have a favorite! But I like Deathscythe and Sandrock, maybe? The shotels are cool…

What is your favorite episode or scene from Gundam Wing? (Show, movie, or manga)

I liked when Heero and Duo went to school together! I thought that was really cute!! (I like low conflict stuff, I guess 😪 their slice of life moment…)

What got you into the Gundam Wing fandom?

Well, I survived quarantine (2020) with my sanity intact, but quarantine 2 electric boogaloo (2021) actually pushed me over the edge 😭

I literally saw one tweet in like March about how old gw official art had insane homoerotic energy, and I was like ??? I need to see this. And then I spent the next 2 months consuming more fanfic than I’ve ever read in my entire life 😪

So I’ve only really been into gw for like a year, but it came at a point when I really needed smth to keep going. So I am grateful!! 🥺💕

Which type of fandom media do you prefer to contribute? And to consume? (art, fics, metas, etc.)

I really love reading fanfic!! A lot of old fics in this fandom seem to have been lost, which is so unfortunate, but a lot of what remains is so good 🥺 And creators are still cranking out such amazing content!! I’m so grateful 🥺 I am fed 🤲🏼

In terms of my own content creation, I like to draw fanart and write fanfic, but I’ve been on a bit of a block lately 🤧 Here’s hoping I can pull myself together before the event!! 🤩

What is your favorite trope?

Omg, there are so many 😳 I really love angsty, hurt-comfort stuff (so long as there is a happy ending! 🥺). Other favs include arranged marriage, and things like sharing a bed 😌

But I think one of my biggest ones is omegaverse. It’s a guilty pleasure and there’s not nearly enough of it in this fandom (yet!!!) but I really love it!

Shamelessly plug the work you are most proud of and the reason why!

Kiss of Death is the only GW fic I’ve written so far, but I really am proud of it 🥺 It’s a 1x2 omegaverse fic, with some angst, mutual pining, (and… porn… LOL 😭) It’s one of my first attempts at a smutty fic, and while there’s definitely a ton of room for growth, I think it came together pretty well for what it is 😌

[hallowed-by-thy-name]

EveryboDY CALM THE FUCK DOWN

It's been a long ass journey for a lot of us out there (saying this as someone who discovered spn recently- with great enthusiam and binge-meta-reading, mind you), but we've been destiel trash for a long LONG time.

And there's two episodes left. Which means there's still story left to tell. And we know how angsty our OTP is, come on guys.

It took Dean 3 episodes last time to decently spill his guts to Cas, and it took Cas in serious danger for him to do it. And that's just in THIS season.

So we know and it's been long established that Dean is one repressed emotionally constipated boi.

Keep in mind that before the 'I love you', within the span of a few minutes, Dean has probably had 3562 epiphanies. He's being told in a sudden outpouring of confessions, stuff that Cas probably wanted to tell him for yEARS; he's found out that Cas is going to die; he's found out that someone was holding a threat over them yet aGAIN.

(Gif not mine)

This is not Jensen being homophobic. He may never have been too keen on Destiel, but he's given me no proof to think that he's homophobic. So all y'all gotta stop bitching on him.

The slight shake of the head, the swallow that is the signature pushing-the-emotions-down^TM swallow shows that he's keeping himself from doing something. (Jensen's also fantastic at these type of microexpressions and they hold more weight for Dean who doesn't use his words often than they would for another character).

What's he going to do anyway? Burst into tears and say 'I love too, Cas because I suddenly gained the courage for this in the face of your oncoming dEATH'?? He's probably still absorbing the fact that Cas is going to die. Again.

Cas is literally confessing on his deathbed to a Dean that now has 2 people with him to save the world. You can see it on Dean's face too: the unsaid 'not now-you can't tell me this and DIE'.

Also Cas didn't give him a lot of time or chance before he pushed him away.

Also here's the-

(Gif not mine)

Knowing Dean, actions speak a hell of a lot louder and more, than the words he may or may not say (if that makes any sense). Though he may not have said much to Cas, this shows how much he's in shock, how much he cares. And he definitely cares. So much so that he ignores Sam's calls. SAM, who, along with Jack, may have been in real trouble as far as Dean knows. He ignores everything, and takes the time break down over Cas.

Also, like how many fanfics have we read with the exACT SAME thing happening?? (Cas confessing, and Dean freezing up for a decent amount of time). The only thing this shows me is that it's characterization on point.

To conclude, I think both Jensen and Misha did a FANTASTIC job in the scene; we have 2 episodes left; And I seriously fucking hope my faith in the writers is not misplaced.

[princesssarcastia]

Thoughts on Star Trek AOS? (And do you think Kirk was on Tarsus?)

i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about star trek aos, so buckle up.  brace yourself.

star trek aos is a terrible disaster and i love it SO MUCH.  for me, star trek 2009 is still in that class of unreasonably pleasing movies like the mummy or stardust or jumanji: welcome to the jungle.  what they are isn’t exactly top notch but you love them for being exactly what they are.

star trek aos is a star-studded fucking phenomenal cast of some of the best actors working today, which makes up for the very inconsistent writing and unfortunate low-level current of sexism.

literally where would i be today if chris pine could not make faces Like That. i honestly couldn’t tell you.

overall, I have quite a few bones to pick with JJ Abrams for setting up a star trek universe that is less Wacky Space Utopia adventures with liberal political commentary ranging from unsubtle to im-hitting-you-over-the-head-with-my-opinions-like-they’re-a-brick—

to this kind of overtly militarized action-hero adventure porn where one white man saves the universe from Scary People Who Don’t Look Like Us And Are Crazy.  I also don’t appreciate what they did to Jim Kirk, turning him into this womanizing self-centered bastard who has to be in charge.  I REALLY don’t appreciate the casual misogyny, what with the last of rank stripes for women and the gratuitous sex-ed up scenes and the way that Amanda Grayson gets fridged for man-pain and and and— you get the picture.

Or at least, that’s what they tried to do to jim kirk.  and god fucking bless chris pine for being able to make facial expressions, because i firmly believe if pretty much almost anyone else had played Jim Kirk as written by JJ Abrams, that’s exactly what he would have been.

But because of chris pine’s acting, instead, most of the AOS fandom and I realized/decided that this “womanizing” version of jim kirk actually really really hates himself so much, most likely for trauma reasons. 

we took that shit and ran with it and never really stopped.

zachary quinto is also like god tier casting.  unfortunately the writers for the first two movies mostly gave him Anger as a primary motivator, which like, is not exactly how I would interpret Spock at all, but quinto played this Angry Spock so so well.

ZOE SALDANA PLAYS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, NYOTA UHURA, PERFECTLY AND THAT’S ALL I’LL HEAR ON THE MATTER.

john cho should be cast in everything ever he’s amazing and I love seeing him.  this man has the range. hikaru sulu is the backbone of this fucking ship.  this man wins the big damn hero award every single movie. 

i still miss living in the same world as anton yelchin. i really, really do.

I also have found family feelings all over these movies, where these baby versions of iconic characters from the sixties are brought together too early to witness too much fucking trauma.  harry potter references aren’t exactly in vogue right now, but there’s this one piece from a—well, actually, its a harry potter reference in an mcu fic i read years ago, now that i think about it, but anyway:

it was something like, there are some things you can’t go through with a person—like that mountain troll in harry potter—without becoming friends for life.  there are some crucibles that will bind you together forever.  and awful as it is, I think Nero and the Vulcan genocide were the AOS crew’s mountain troll.  there’s no going back or separating, after that.

also I feel like there’s a ton of competence porn in this trilogy that i deeply, deeply enjoy.

star trek: 2009 and into darkness are both grimdark male power fantasy bullshit that only accidentally hits all the right buttons for me.  I love them dearly but i know EXACTLY what they are, thank you.

star trek: beyond is a delightful movie with no real plot where our favorite crew are finally Adults With A Modicum Of Common Sense And Stability, instead of Disaster Children Angsting All Over The Place, and they get to save the universe with the power of excellent rock music and friendship. how cool is that?!?  i wanna give simon pegg a high five for making this movie.

on a more meta note, what I find kind of satisfying about these movies is that—for all his many faults that i’m always happy to expound upon—JJ Abrams actually went for it.  He Did That.  He just made his own brand new timeline, killed jim kirk’s dad, then gave him an abusive uncle/step-dad, then literally destroyed one of the founding planets of the Federation, then he, in an iconic fashion, switched Jim and Spock’s places in the infamous “wrath of khan” death scene, so instead Spock gets to watch Jim die. 

and you know what? I can forgive a lot of bullshit for that kind of poetic angsty fanfic plot detail. 

every time uhura says, “an alternate reality,” in star trek 2009 just gives me chills.  every time she says it, you feel the weight of sixty years of history and legacy sitting on these people’s shoulders, the weight of arguably one of the most popular TV shows of all time.

imagine, living in a new world you’re aware isn’t the one that was supposed to be.  imagine that!

oh! and on the question of tarsus:

what I think is probably true irl: JJ Abrams has never thought that far ahead in his life.  correct me if i’m wrong, but hadn’t he.....not even watched star trek.........when he made these movies............like lol i’d bet you this man didn’t even really know Tarsus was a thing.  And even if he did, I don’t think he thought it was part of the new canon he was creating.  AOS is much more self-contained than the serialized universe the original star trek was, so I don’t think that AOS was intended to encompass all those things, like tarsus, that we as a fandom like to obsess over.

what I personally enjoy: i love me some AOS fic that explores the ridiculous amounts of trauma that comes from living through a genocide.  I think that, given we all decided AOS Jim Kirk hates himself, and engages in a shit ton of self-sabotaging and destructive behavior to cope, it’s a reasonable jump to think that at least some of that comes from some survivor’s guilt bullshit from Tarsus.  And honestly, hit me up if you want recs for this, because boy do I have them.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no one does angst quite like AOS!Jim Kirk.

what I believe wholeheartedly: this is like Schrödinger's Plot Point, okay, it both exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously.  it’s easy to read tarsus into some of jim’s behavior, and it’s easy to read none of it in, and both of those choices are valid.  go with your gut, go with what makes you happy, go with what you think makes sense.  This is where fandom lives, in these little details that fall through the cracks.

anyway WOW did I talk a lot.  those are at least some of my star trek thoughts.  i do have others, but i’ve expounded on them before on this blog, and y’all don’t need me to repeat myself

ask me my thoughts on ______

[lnterjection]

Sleepy Bois Inc and DSMP Fanfic Recs

Uhhh I realized I have a ton of stuff in my bookmarks list and might as well compile a list of favorites because I’m always looking for good fanfics, and this might help some people. Most of these are SBI, though a few focus on things other than their dynamic with each other. Nothing explicit here. Feel free to suggest more recs. 

Fics set in DSMP universe/about DSMP (One-shots first, then longer fics):

One-shots and series of one-shots-

therein lies the madness by sapphicist - 2095 words. Currently says it’s one chapter out of three complete, but can be read as a standalone one-shot. Nice introspective fic on Tommy’s exile and his parallels with Theseus. In 2nd person, but it’s actually done nicely. Mostly angsty, can have hopeful interpretation depending on how you look at it. 

crazy how life goes on without me (2090 words, one-shot) by itisjosh - What if Ghostbur did remember everything, and just pretended to be clueless and vapid? Made me cry. It’s so good. Tortured my heart. 

the inner mechanism of a black box (13521 words, one-shot) by Bee_4 - only work of a series called “system theory”. “Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault. There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.” Yeah so Techno’s mental health goes out the window in this one and its written brilliantly. There’s comfort at the end, if it helps? 

A State For One Man Is No State At All (5247 words, two-shot) by angstfortheangstgod - “A different version of the festival, in which Dream shows up unarmed, the Community House is left intact, a traitor is executed, and Tommy doesn't betray Technoblade.” Ranboo centric. Angst and comfort. 

All the Kings Men series by MollyPollyKinz - “After Ghostbur's suggestion to do Lads on Tour, Tommy finds himself reunited with his family. However, escaping from Dream is going to be harder than anyone previously thought.” A connected series of one-shots and short fics about Tommy, his exile, his family, and escaping Dream. Well written, good characterization, great studies into the characters themselves.

ad astra per aspera series by cacowhistle - Collection of one-shots that start with Tommy’s exile and expand to be about SBI and their dynamic with each other, including a resurrected Wilbur. Really, really well written and probably my favorite of the “Tommy exile fic groups”. 

the fall of a hero series by cracklesnaple - “After being threatened with being exiled yet again, Tommy takes the decision into his own hands. If those around him can't see that he's given up everything to make this nation what it is, then he's not sure he can stay in L'Manburg any longer.” Series about SBI and mainly Tommy, eventually crossing over into Mianite territory in a way some might enjoy and some might now. Writing’s good, though, which is what I care about.

Longer fics-

Rewind (101002 words, 25 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - Best time travel fix-it fic I’ve ever read period. Tubbo and Tommy travel 10 years back from a very messed up future to the first L’Manberg election. Concept may seen a bit weird at first but trust me, holy fuck this is amazing. 

second chances (hurt the most) (8841 words, 4 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by Anonymous - “Wilbur wakes up alone in a bloody room, and has to come to terms with living again. (How can he go on, knowing who's blood is on his hands?)”. Amazing fic where resurrection requires someone else’s life as sacrifice. Phil is dead. Wilbur struggles to come to terms with his father’s decision, and his second chance. 

all scotch, no soda (47466 words, 43 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by fishstixx - “Vulnerability meant trust, though, and trust was a thing not so easily given. Post-exile and canon divergent, follows the consequences of Tommy’s isolation. Expect chases, heists, bloodshed, and the mending of a family.” Features raccon hybrid Tommy being badass, and I live for it. I really, really love this one. 

DON’T FORGET THAT ICARUS FLEW. (16426 words, 6/10 chapters, last updated Jan 1. 2021) by orpheusaki - “The day before and the days that follow Tommy's exile; told through the eyes of The Blood God.” Techno (and Dream) is a god, and gods often forget how the intricacies of the minds of mortals. He’s trying to get better, however. 

what do you fall for? (16374 words, complete) by tablrcloth - Ranboo centric fic with Techno, Phil and Tommy. Ranboo realizes that playing L’Manberg’s politics is less than ideal for him. What can I say, it’s just really good. 

Breathing’s Just a Rhythm (12631 words, 6 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 17 2021) by MollyPollyKinz - “Tommy, Tubbo, Jschlatt, and Dream all end up in the past. (Oh, and the Chat comes too).” Great time travel fic. 

What World Have We Inherited? (73635 words, 12 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Dec 22 2020) by Anonymous (this one has a series with all their works, and they’re all AMAZING). Holy fuck this one is probably one of my favorite fics in the fandom so far. “Wilbur blows everything to hell on the day of the Manburg festival, just like he wanted. When the ashes settle, it's just Tommy and Technoblade. It's not good, but it's better than nothing. It's just them, healing up in a world that never wanted them.” Amazing characterization, worldbuilding, everyone’s internal thoughts are portrayed and written so well. Even if it never updates again I would keep coming back to it. I rec this Anon’s works so much. 

In June, I Changed My Tune (29489 words, 6 chapters, unfinished and last updated on Jan 6 2021) by KryOnBlock - Eret runs away and eventually becomes friends with Techno. Nice cottagecore aesthetic. I have mixed feelings about this one - the writing’s good, descriptions and characterizations are really good. Just that there’s consistent punctuation mistakes and it takes me out of the world a bit. Everything else is good enough for me to continue reading, however. 

stay with him (24353 words, 12 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 9 2021) by junipersand - I especially rec the first chapter, which can be read (and originally was) a standalone fic with the summary “Every ghost had a purpose to fulfill. So what was Tommy’s?” Utterly heartwrenching, probably the most emotionally gut-punching bit of writing I’ve ever read in this fandom. It continues with other lore stuff afterwards that eventually branch off from just SBI and Tommy, but man. I don’t think I can ever forget that first chapter. 

I’m not angry at you, well, sometimes I am (52801 words, 16 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 14 2021) by sircantus - After Tommy is exiled, he runs away to Techno’s house instead of going off with Dream. SBI decide some revenge and “world domination” is in order. 

Fics set in AUs outside DSMP happenings:

One-shots and series of one-shots-

Empty Crowns AU by UnderUrsa - the SBI + Tubbo are gods, and a family. Series of one-shots. Nicely written, what can I say? Some angst, some fluff.

Secure, Contain, Protect AU by blue000jay - Amazingly written SCP AU. Knowledge of the SCP universe would help with understanding some more meta things, but is not needed to understand most of it. Some angst, disturbing themes around memories but nothing terribly gory.

CLASSIFIEDS. (13804 words, finished). SCP pages on SBI, short stories and audio transcriptions as well as files, lots of good lorebuilding here. Features an escape, + Tubbo!

CONFIDENTIALS. (13232 words, finished). Centers on Dream Team.

ARCHIVES. (1270 words, one-shot). What happened after SBI and Tubbo’s escape from the SCP foundation.

old gods (new gods) AU by WriterWinged - the relatively well known SBI gods AU. Amazingly written, great character interpretations. 

the gods are cruel (none crueler then you) (1394 words, one-shot) - As much the grammatical mistake in the title hurts me it’s no doubt one of the best pieces of work in the fandom. 

and yet they find kindness (and so do you) (2/4 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”. 

there’s a risk to the world (but the kindest are strongest) (2/3 chapters posted) - continuation of “the gods are cruel”. 

SBI Antarctic Princes AU by ScripWriter -  One of several Antarctic Empire AUs, this one just has these two preliminary one-shots but they’re nice bits of fun and neatly written. All fluff and mild hurt with lots of comfort so far. 

Younger Holding On Another (1781 words, one-shot). Techno is a good brother and reassures and newly adopted Tommy. 

But Oh, Don’t You Know How It Goes (2511 words. one-shot). Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur have some “fun” at a boring gala. Phil is very exasperated. 

Antarctic Princes ‘verse AU by BirchWrites - AU where Techno, Tommy, and Wilbur are princes of the Antarctic Empire (well, Techno’s technically the emperor now), but this time the events of DSMP still happen (at least up to the 1st season).

Homeward bound for the arctic ground (10562 words, one-shot). Wilbur and Tommy travel to the Antarctic Empire in person to ask Techno for help in fighting Schlatt. Good worldbuilding and acknowledges Wilbur’s beginnings of insanity while still being rather light.

Surprise Hugs (2542 words, one-shot). Dream doesn’t realize Tommy is Techno’s brother and thinks he’s going to get killed for tackling the infamous Blood God.

Family Reunions (1396 words, one-shot). Fundy never realized he’s loyalty and Techno informs him unexpectedly.

Longer fics-

leave me your starlight (14620 words, 4 chapters, unfinished and last updated Jan 11 2021) by findingkairos - “Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war. This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.“ Amazing backstory fic on Phil and Techno’s relationships, one of my absolute personal favorites. Very well written and really digs into the intricacies of Techno’s character (or an interpretation of it, but hey, that’s what all fanfiction is).

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight (21736 words, 5 chapters, last updated Jan 13 2021) by sircantus - another Antarctic princes AU, this time centering on 16 year old Tommy catching the attention of Phil, Techno, and Wilbur after thwarting an assassination attempt. Really well written. Actually, I rec all of sircantus’ SBI stuff because they do amazing work.

antarctic adage (26591 words, 4/7 chapters posted, last updated Jan 13 2021) by blue000jay - Another very well written Antarctic princes AU with Emperor/ruler Phil. Are we seeing a pattern yet? blue000jay is another writer I’d rec, with really great SBI stuff.

a renewal of faith, and of family (56684 words, 31 chapters, unfinished, last updated Jan 13 2021) by SolivangantStories - One of the only fics here that doesn’t feature SBI, this one is Tubbo and Dream centered. Basically, the DSMP!Tubbo is executed by Schlatt and wakes up in a world where Manhunt!Dream is trying not to die and is also actually a nice person, to Tubbo’s surprise and confusion. Not SBI and technically not even DSMP, but it’s really good so I’ve decided to rec it anyway.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[piracytheorist]

Fanfic Self Promo: KnightRook

I decided to make a few self-promo posts on my older fics, starting with the ones centered on KnightRook! All are short one shots or drabbles, but they’re worth a little promo after all this time. They’re in a list of older ones first.

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Missing Knight | T, 2.4k words, written 16 Oct 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Speculative fic about Detective Rogers meeting the girl who, unbeknownst to him, is his own daughter.

I wrote this a little after 7x02 aired, before we knew anything more about Killian’s daughter. I was completely off with it, but I’m still quite happy with it.

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A Young Tempest | G, 1.3k words, written 20 Oct 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian Jones raises his daughter and learns things along with her. 

Another speculative fic about Killian’s history with his daughter. Once again, completely off, but it’s one of my favourite stuff I’ve written.

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A Song for Goodnight | G, 1.8k words, written 28 Nov 2017 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Alice Jones I sings a lullaby to her son. A long time later, Killian Jones sings the same lullaby to his daughter. Warnings: Canon character death in the past.

I have feels about Killian singing his mother’s lullaby to his daughter. Some of these made it into this fic.

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Untitled ficlet of Killian thinking about the white elephant he gave Ella | Tumblr link

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A Family by Choice | G, 3.3k words, written 04 Feb 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: The curse is broken, everyone’s memories are back, and Roni with Weaver find a way to remove the poison from Rogers’ heart. But it’s not easy nor perfectly safe, and it might just as well pull that family apart again rather than bring it back together. 

This one is a little sad, as usual with me. But again, lots of feels.

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The First Rain | G, 590 words, written 25 Mar 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Alice is finally free and gets to explore how being under the rain feels.

This one includes only Alice, but it’s got a lot of focus on KnightRook. (If you thought you’d find happy stuff on my fic, you thought wrong. KnightRook was brimming with angst and I milked the hecc out of it)

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Mother’s Day | G, 650 words, written 14 May 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Modern AU. Alice makes something for her papa for Mother's Day.

I felt that Killian deserved a little more love and appreciation for raising such a kind human as Alice all on his own. Father’s day doesn’t get as much appreciation as Mother’s day, especially considering it’s usually after school starts summer break. So I felt that in a modern setting, Alice would choose to celebrate her father and their love for each other on Mother's Day at some point.

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Poor Old Man | G, 530 words, written 12 Mar 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: While in the tower, Killian realizes he's growing old. But not alone. 

There’s a sea shanty with the same name, but only the title has a reference to the story. I just thought that it would be interesting to see Killian, who’d spent his centuries in Neverland not expecting to survive his revenge mission, realize that he’s not only actually growing old, but that he’s also got someone to love and love him back as he does.

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Sad drabble of “What if Killian hadn’t managed to save Alice from being pulled into her worst nightmare in the finale?” Like, really sad. | Tumblr link

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Sad Old Hook drabble in direct response to the fic above, because he did end up old and alone. Be sad with me, people. | Tumblr link

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Marks | T, 1k words, written 15 June 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Little Alice wonders why she doesn’t have any marks on her back, like her papa does. Warnings: Mentions of past physical abuse of a teenager

If you know me, you know I headcanon Killian having multiple scars on his body, many particularly from the time he was a indentured servant as a kid/teen. Being the only one who Alice sees in her first years, she thinks that she’ll grow to have such marks on her body. This is a bit of a melancholic take on Killian trying to explain it to her.

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Untitled ficlet about Old Hook “fusing” with OG Hook, becoming one with him. | Tumblr link

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A New Experience | G, 1.3 words, written 19 July 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian makes a re-imagining of a storm in the tower for Alice. 

Humans have more senses than vision. In this story, Killian does his best to create an experience for Alice by invoking her other senses. (Also nerding out for my music knowledge by adding an ocean drum)

~

Sad drabble about how Killian seeing his daughter pull away out of fear of hurting him sometimes hurts worse than the curse in his heart. | Tumblr link

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Under the Weather | G, 2.2 words, written 12 Nov 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Young Alice gets very ill and Killian tries to help her. 

Don’t let my habit for angst worry you, this has a happy ending. The medicine techniques are probably inaccurate, but I wanted to focus on a scenario of Killian trying to heal Alice with the very very limited sources he has.

~

Remembering Alice | G, 424 words, written 04 Dec 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: After Lucy's birth, Killian can't help feeling sad as he remembers how his daughter is forced to live away from him. 

It is what it is. A short angsty thing. Only Killian appears here, but the focus is on KnightRook.

~

A Merry Little Christmas | G, 1.6 words, written 24 Dec 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: This year, Rogers and Tilly won’t spend Christmas Day on their own. 

I don’t participate on Secret Santa and similar events, cause they stress me out over producing a specific kind of content at a specific time. However, all the love people gave to that year's KnightRook Secret Santa inspired me to write a kinda independent contribution, which came out as this. It may not be Christmas yet but the warm, fuzzy feelings are the same!

~

Untitled ficlet about re-awakened Killian thinking how his true self conflicted with Rogers’ memories and original goals. | Tumblr link

I barely remember writing this one, lol. I think, it may have started as a meta post, then it took a fanfic route on its own. Fics be doing that. I’ll probably post it on AO3 at some point, too.

~

Outward-Bound | T, 2.5 words, written 20 Mar 2019 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Old, dishevelled, broken-hearted Hook is drowning his sorrows in alcohol, when he happens upon a familiar face, someone he never imagined he’d see again. Warnings: Depiction of alcoholism

Oh, this be sad! Again, only Killian appears, but the KnightRook feels are prominent.

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Sad (shocking, I know) drabble about Killian being taken away in the ambulance in 7x20 | Tumblr link

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The Dreams That Won’t Come True | G, 2.1k words, written 14 Sep 2019 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: Killian and Alice find a way to be together through their dreams... but it doesn't end up being what they expected. 

That made me sad. Almost made me cry when I first wrote it, and I’m very hard to cry.

~

Bonus Fics!

Untitled ficlet with Robyn and Killian; three moments between them | Tumblr link

~

Accepting Happiness | G, 1k words, written 26 Nov 2018 | AO3 link | Tumblr link Summary: A little after reuniting with Alice, Killian takes a moment to try and let everything sink in. Hooked Queen, open to your interpretation.

Some introspective thoughts on how Killian and Regina would feel, right after the climactic ending of the finale, the one set before the final scene. Only Killian and Regina appear, but KnightRook is in focus.

[littlehollyleaf]

So talking of finales penned by spn writers.

One of my fav comics the last few years has been Spider-Man/Deadpool, written by our very own Robbie Thompson.

Obviously, Deadpool is a character I was always gonna be fond of, since his fourth-wall breaking power / chatacter trait makes him all about the meta, and metafiction is My Jam.

Spider-Man/Deadpool has the additional fun of being about Wade and Peter's relationship specifically, which is just fun and adorable any which way, but the series also makes constant nods to the idea of them as a romantic couple (the title IS a LITERAL REFERENCE to slash fic/shipping). Never in a baity way either. The writing celebrates the idea of Spider-Man/Deadpool without ever teasing the idea it might actually happen. It's mostly Wade explicitly referencing them as a slash pairing in his various fourth-wall breaking speeches, while in the 'reality' of the universe the writing is pretty clear on the fact Peter only thinks of Wade platonically (or occasionally antagonistically :p), while Wade genuinely has an explicit romantic crush, but overall just simply respects and cares for Spider-Man as a person and primarily wants to be and have him as a friend (tho there's absolutely, deliberate, space left in the writing to imagine/fanfic a mutual romance between if you want).

(ASIDE: PETER PARKER IS NOT A KID IN THIS CURRENT VERSION OF MARVEL CANON HE IS 100% AN OF AGE ADULT, like he is in the Spiderverse film - in case anyone was freaking out)

So yeah, that's all fun and sweet and completely catering to my interests.

One of the big, big things about the characters and their relationship, though, is the fact that WADE DOES NOT KNOW SPIDER-MAN'S IDENTITY. And this quickly became one of, if not THE, things at the heart of their evolving friendship/relationship. The closer they get, the more and more you WANT Wade to find out or, better, for Peter to TELL HIM. Because you want them to reach that place of love and trust where they each know intimate things about each other, where Peter cares about and knows he can trust Wade enough to share that vulnerable truth about himself.

So, Peter telling Wade his secret identity - that's, basically, the ship/relationship endgame everyone is rooting for.

SO.

In the *cries* final storyline of the series, this whole epic Thing happens, that I won't explain cos it'll take too long. But basically, the world appears to be ending and in that context of dire and angsty straits - Peter reveals his identity to Wade! *insert Deadpool movie shock gif*

Now closer than ever, they team up with a rag tag collection of other characters to take on the Big Bad and, long story short, they discover the whole epic end of the world Thing has been a fake reality created by the real villain of the piece -

THE WRITER, aka Robbie himself!

Due a series of implausible comic book events they are able to confront and defeat him and he offers this in his defence -

and I just -

<3

aw Robbie

your supervillain origin story was... WANTING FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS TO GROW?

(#relatable)

When I first read this (which was, oh, back near the very beginning of spn S15) I thought

a) amusing that an ex-spn writer is, like spn itself, writing a meta story in which the writer is the villain

b) it's funny how spn's villain writer and Robbie's villain writer both harm/manipulate their characters for the exact opposite reasons - Chuck wants to prevent the characters from developing, comic!Robbie wants to force them TO develop

(and c) I wonder if this lament over characters not being allowed to grow, and the fact that wanting to change that associates Robbie with villainy, in any way connects to... other writing jobs he may have had... before the comic...)

The tragedy, tho, is that after his defeat, as Spider-Man and Deadpool are locking comic!Robbie away, he tells them his capture doesn't matter because in the end HE WON, because Wade now knows Spider-Man's identity!!

To which we end with this -

The growth Robbie wanted was denied!

*sad face*

(I forget the in-universe explanation, if there was an explicit one - either defeating comic!Robbie and his fake world caused all memory/experience if that world to be lost/destroyed... or there was genuinely no real explanation and that in itself was a meta nod to how comic book narrative is constantly dropping/discarding/ignoring/retconning plot points in order to maintain the wider status quo of the comic universe narrative)

AND YET - while the biggest growth of learning Peter's identity was denied (presumably because, as noted above, wider comic book canon requires/insists both characters and their relationship remain in a specific, static, status quo - so the industry can keep churning out multiple comics with them without necessarily having to bother with the extra time/hassel of researching specifics of continuity - because, money), as Peter and Wade's further discussion points out, SOME development HAS happened at least. Wade has grown more moral/heroic in how he doesn't immediately kill his enemies. And Peter has come to care deeply enough about Wade to be proud of him for this and tell him so. AND they walk away together side by side, their friendship cemented.

So bottom line - the story ends. And it's not in the BEST way. It denies the readers and the characters (and the writer!) the fulfilment of that key endgame plot point.

And YET.

It manages to still be a funny, heartwarming and ultimately SATISFYING end. One that, tongue in cheek, lampshades the development the rest of the story has, in many ways, been building up to and, using metafictional tricks, tells readers in a way that is funny, entertaining and also feels somewhat apologetic, that it simply wasn't a plot the creatives involved were able to give. But offers SOME growth at least, and leaves things open enough for readers to imagine the characters are poised for more in the near future (...although due to the nature of comics that may well have been jossed by other comic book runs at this point - I haven't read any that include the characters since this title ended).

WHY am I making a longass post about this you ask?

Well

a) because the comic is great and I think more people should read it, consider this a recommend (tho sorry for spoilers!)

b) ...just ...wanted to big up Robbie Thompson for a bit. A++ Robbie, way to land an ending, both in fiction and meta, kudos to you, nice to be reminded that it can be done!

(also in case by some miracle anyone at Marvel is reading this - I said the ending was satisfying, but that doesn't mean I WOULDN'T SPEND GOOD MONEY ON A REVIVAL OF THIS TITLE IN A HEARTBEAT! just because I'm ok with the last comic being the end doesn't mean I don't WANT MORE WITH A BURNING PASSION why must you cancel all my favs?? ...*coughs* so, yes, thank you any Marvel execs for your time...)

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[thevagueambition]

Tagged by @everyonewasabird - thanks!

1) how many works do you have on AO3?

48

2) what’s your total AO3 word count?

207,828

3) how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Let me go count 😂 I tend to write oneshots for random things then never write more for that fandom (when it even has what can be called a fandom lol)

Hmm, something like 24?

Les Mis and Harry Potter are definitely what I’ve written for the most. I’ve written a fair bit of Star Wars stuff as well, but most of that is unpublished wips.

4) what are your top five fics by kudos?

Oh god, I don’t like the first two anymore

1. Mr. Harry Potter, a trans guy!Harry ficlet (this was originally just a headcanon post)

2. Practice, a B99 bi trans guy!Jake ficlet

3. Aching for You, MDZS Wangxian porn with plot (that novel blue balled me lmao)

4. Just Like That, Disco Elysium Harry/Kim (I still really like this one, it was one of the first in that tag too)

5. Handsome as ever, Doctor Who fic where Thirteen and her companions meet Jack Harkness (written before his canon reappearance)

5) do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Usually, yeah. Not if it’s just a heart of a single word comment, though. Not that I don’t appreciate those comments, there’s just not really anything to respond to. If someone does it on every chapter of a longer fic, I might go like “thanks for taking the time to comment!” on one of them to show that I appreciate it.

6) what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, I’m more of a hurt/comfort than outright angst sort of guy... particularly in terms of endings, I really like things to be really angsty but then end on that note of “things are going to be okay”?

That said, it’s probably In Other Circumstances, a fic based on the movie Joyeux Noël, which is already fairly angsty, given the subject matter (that time during WW1 opposing armies celebrated Christmas together). That, or the Dumbledore fic To Be At Peace.

7) do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really. I do have a little bit of a Les Mis/Order of the Phoenix mash-up where Dumbledore’s Army do a student activism after Dumbledore is sacked (Lamarque is dead!) lying around somewhere, but I think that’s about it. God, that was a good idea though. I should get back on that some day.

8) have you ever received hate on a fic?

I think I once got one from a terf on that trans!Harry one but it was pretty vague lol

9) do you write smut? if so what kind?

Yeah, occasionally. I have a lot of kinks in the bdsm area of things, so that’s always pretty apparent in the smut I write. I just think power dynamics are sexy lmao

A lot of the smut I’ve written is original work stuff though, so that’s not up in the same place as my fanfic.

10) have you ever had a fic stolen?

Doubt it

11) have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, Just Like That was translated into Chinese.

I’ve also personally translated a Odin/Loki fic I wrote in Danish into English. Fun fact, it’s way harder to translate than if I’d written it in English in the first place. I like to write fic in Danish where it makes sense to, though.

12) have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I’ve partcipated in events where I’ve drawn and the other person written, but never co-written. Frankly I’m not even sure how that works.

13) what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Gah, idk. All-time, huh? I shift between fandoms too much for that.

Obviously I ship Enjolras/Grantaire a lot and have for a long time, but then I’m also super particular about what I want that to look like lol.

I still really love Sirius/Remus even after all these years. Disco Elysium’s Harry/Kim deserves mention here as well, although that’s a lot newer, so it’s difficult to talk about in an “all-time” sense.

Despite not really caring about any aspect of Marvel anymore, I also still really love Matt/Foggy from the Netflix version of Daredevil.

14) what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A lot of unposted stuff 😂 Maybe once I finish Elysium I’ll pick one of those up again... If it’s a wip I care about, I won’t start posting it till I have a good sense that I’ll continue being able to update.

15) what are your writing strengths?

Hmm, I think I’m good at inserting myself into the mindset of the protagonist. This is also why I practically never write alternating pov, I’m filtering everything through that protagonist so shifting around would be harder. Dialogue tends to come easily to me as well.

16) what are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions, moving characters around in space in particular. On a more meta level, plotting things out to the right degree where I still actually want to write it but I’m also going in a particular direction. Just... plot, in general, really.

17) what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Generally speaking, if my character speaks the language in question, the dialogue will be rendered in the same language as the rest of the text with a dialogue tag like “he said in German” or w/e. If they do not, the dialogue will be rendered in the actual language being spoken.

Of course this is also hugely guided but what languages I personally speak. I will never use google translate for something like that because I personally find it infuriating when people do that lmao. It’s like saying “Hey, you, who actually speak this language? This isn’t for you. Fuck you. This is just here for flavor. Surely no-one who actually speaks this language will ever come across this.” I’m sure that’s not what most people who do that are thinking, but that’s what it feels like to read. So I won’t do that.

I can’t recall if I’ve done this in anything that’s up anywhere, but if I wanted to include a foreign phrase I would either use Danish, use triple checked German or ask someone I know who speak a given language about the phrase in that language. Or, you know, just use an established quote.

An exception is Latin, particularly for Les Mis fic, where I follow the brick’s habit of rendering Latin untranslated, despite the pov character understanding it (but again, these are always established phrases).

If I wrote something in Danish taking place in the modern day, I would render English untranslated as well, since that is just how young Danes talk and I can assume that 99.99% of potential readers will be able to understand it either way (this, I think we can assume, is also what was going on with Latin at the time Hugo was writing).

18) what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Probably Harry Potter. That, or Avatar: The Last Airbender. I don’t really remember. The first thin I put on FFnet was certainly Harry Potter, though.

19) what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Predictably it’s On the Path to Elysium. As I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t really able to write long things before Elysium. Most of my fics are oneshots and while I really like oneshots, I had long been frustrated that I never managed to get any of my longer ideas off the ground. Elysium represents a lot of growth for me as a writer.

Apart from that, like I said, I’m still very fond of Just Like That, if nothing else then because I wrote it in an emulation of how the game itself is written.

I tag @thebearmuse @teddy-stonehill @antirococoreaction (no pressure ofc, just if any of you think it looks fun)