#mf ranch baby

[gladiatorcunt]

- # GIVE A FLY SOME HONEY !!

all roads lead to death valley

cw: southern setting & accents, sui ideation/thoughts, protected sex (are you proud of me), dead dove ending and undertones, sort of ambiguous, virgin cowboy!anakin x virgin afab!reader, ROTS coded!anakin, r2’s a horse, the force is in place of the christian God and is referred to as such at times, star wars being a fictional franchise in a star wars au fic, weird mix of a farm and a ranch, spanking, clit slapping, biting, reader’s inner freak has some crazy thoughts, mentions of humiliation and collaring/choking, anakin murders somebody (one scene of violence), what a heat advisory and the south’s sex education does to a mf, implied plus size and neurodivergent!reader, kidnapping????????????, mention of drugs, reader has a lot of internalized shame about where they’re from

wc: 4.2k (unedited)

what if instead of star wars it was called 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 wars

consider commissioning me!

Your unlucky streak rears its ugly head yet again. June was already shaping up to be a hot month, and your junkyard car wouldn’t start. You’re used to driving long stretches of road with nothing but livestock in fields to gawk at, it comes with the territory. But you couldn’t afford gas and decided to push your luck on the way back home, nevermind that the drive would be at least 20 hours. Moving to the city had its drawbacks, the road trip to and back being one of them.

“No, no. Come on, please work. Do you need me to fucking sing to you or something?” You groan, fruitlessly twisting your key in the ignition over and over.

Nope, “Tough shit.” Your engine mocks, death coughs sputtering out one after the other.

“ ‘You havin’ trouble?” A masculine voice shouts from behind you.

You get startled by the sound and gracefully slam your head up into the roof of the car as you turn around. You must look like quite the sight, clutching your now throbbing head and stumbling out of your broken down hand-me-down car on a long open road. Once you’ve blinked enough to adjust to the harsh sunlight, your eyes land on a tall muscular figure riding a horse. The clip clop of the horse’s dirty hooves on the gravel pierce your ears but the gentle sway of the man’s fluffy hair softens the blow.

“Um…. yes, sir. I am actually. My…. my car won’t start and I’m all out of gas.” You burn with embarrassment as you get through your explanation, trying your hardest not to throw up from the sheer social anxiety.

“Well that ain’t no biggy, I think I can help with that.” The man cocks his head and hops down from the horse, a white stallion with a few faded black-gray spots here and there. “Stay here, R2.”

You’re standing there dumbly, ignoring the tiny rocks digging into your shoes and the pounding in your skull as the cowboy wanders up to you. The sun bounces off his dark hat in a way that gives him a sort of halo, and you gape like a fish when he tips it down at you in a silent greeting, reaching out to shake your hand after. The silver spurs on his boots reflect sunlight directly onto your face, so you miss his open palm the first time.

His hand is rough, you can feel numerous old scrapes and cuts when you accept the gesture. But it’s so much bigger than yours, and there’s strange heat coming from his skin that you’re hesitant to pin on the southern summer sun. Too handsome, in a way that just can’t be possible, you quickly swipe a fingertip over his ring finger during the handshake and The Force must be looking out for you because there’s no ring. Not that you’re seeking anything out, but in the town you’re from, you’re lucky if anyone makes it past 18 without having a baby and getting hitched as a result.

Anakin tinkers away at your car for over an hour, finding more problems than just a lack of gas. Eventually he determines that you’ll die in this heat before you can back on the road, so he asks you to accompany him back to his ranch and he’ll send out one of his employees to bring your car around. You try to show him that you’re listening by ‘hm’-ing and nodding every so often, but it’s hard to rip your eyes away from a very attractive man bent over and sweaty while he’s fixing your car. You definitely do not want to cry when his flannel lifts up as he wipes the sweat on his forehead away with his greasy hand, revealing the slight softness over his muscles.

Since your car was no longer an option, Anakin grins as he gestures towards his horse, “R2’s a good horse, won’t give you any trouble. He likes to make a lot of noise and has an… acquired sense of humor, but I reckon we’ll get back just fine.”

He has you practice getting off and on the horse for a good while, the next step is letting you adjust to the feeling of being on one. You’d be embarrassed that Anakin’s having to teach you how to ride but his hands curl around your waist, keeping you steady and whispering in your ear to not be so stiff. Horses can smell fear after all, it’d suck to not only have your car be broken but your bones too. It’s a scene straight out of a cheesy romance novel, the kind that’s a tiny yellowed book sold almost exclusively in run down gas stations with a cover not far off from a porno.

Your cheeks are burning the entire way to the ranch, you relax as much as you can on an animal that’s a few hundred pounds of muscle with a searing hot body pressed right up against you from behind. It doesn't take long to get to your destination though, and before you know it sprawling fields bracket a mid size homey wooden building. There are some smaller pens for the cows to stay in and you follow their movement as an employee unlatches the gate and leads them out towards the left most field.

“They gotta switch pastures every so often.” He informs you, urging his horse into an energetic trot, “And it’s a good rule of thumb to have about an acre per cow.”

You tighten your hold on the reins and try not to focus on your fear of falling off. The pace of R2 isn’t one that you struggle to match but then again this is the first time you’ve ever ridden a horse in a long time. You’ve always been too skittish to do it regularly, and when you moved you got rid of the hobby entirely. You take a deep breath and let the horse’s movements travel through you, coming to enjoy the gentle jostling as you go. Anakin keeps his hands around yours on the reigns, making sure you don’t panic and seize up. R2’s not really beginner friendly unless he likes his rider, he has a tendency to just whinny and take off when the spirit moves him.

“The Force has done me good and given me a nice house on nice land, but it don’t mean nothin’ if i’m all by my lonesome. Ever since my dad passed and my ma’ died a few years after that, the workers and the cows are all I got, plus R2 of course.”

All right, he sinks into the jargon a little too much, but the way the sun accentuates the scar on his cheek makes it a charming quirk. You want to lick his teeth when he smiles, you think, before blaming it on an oncoming heatstroke. You’re no better than a man in this moment, and if you had seen him soaking up all of the attention in a crowded room in a bar you’d have no business being in, you like to think that you could pull him. You play with the slightly waxy feel of the leather reins, allowing the sensation of coarseness in the stitching to overpower any coherent thought.

“Why’d you name your horse R2?” You ask, ducking your head as you feel him guide the animal towards the stables.

“Oh uh, I was real wild over these sci fi movies from back when I was a kid. The hero had this robot called R2-D2, and I guess it just stuck with me.” He answers you with a shrug and a mild blush, curving his fingers around yours.

Your stomach warms at the feeling, but you refrain from returning the gesture, he probably isn’t even thinking that deeply about what he’s doing. He’s not obsessing over every square inch of skin that comes into contact with his own, not like you. You’re already missing the comforting weight of Anakin’s herculean body when he’s pulling the reins to stop R2 and hopping off, clamping his big hands around your waist and helping you down. You wobble for a bit and find your footing before you can pick up on how he momentarily froze in front of you, anticipating an easy opportunity to touch you again. Force, you really are stupid, bless your heart.

You glance up at him and start to say something but then you hear rustling in the bushes, Anakin must hear it too because before you can tug on his sleeve and tell him, he’s pulling his revolver out from its holster and striding off towards the sound. You’re quick to learn that he has a bit of a one track mind, especially when it comes to indulging the serpent twisting in between his ribs like a switchblade.

“I’ll be damned…”

You’re supposed to head inside and awkwardly linger around until your car is in good enough condition to get you back to Coruscant. The only thing is, you’ve now found yourself without your new security blanket, and your curiosity agrees with how much you don’t fucking want to speak to any of the people here without Anakin to hide behind. R2 loudly chuffs at you from his stall in the stables, either saying “That’s just how he is, leave him be!” or "What are you doing? You should obviously go after him!” You choose to believe it’s the latter, so you wander off into the distance, following Anakin’s lead.

You catch up to him quicker than you thought you would, and you have half a mind to scold him like a child if you weren’t catching your breath. All you can see is his wide shoulders because he’s hunched over something, your heartbeat quickens when you spot his gun being pointed at something. You circle around him to find a man squirming on the ground like a toddler, twitching every so often. Anakin seems almost enthralled by the desperate display, so he doesn’t notice you until you gingerly place a hand on his shoulder, soft and looking to soothe. Later you won’t remember the blood on the man’s temple or the matching stain on the muzzle of Anakin’s gun, because you didn’t witness that part.

He snaps out of it, turning his head to nuzzle his nose against your knuckles, “ ‘s alright, sweetheart, just a meth head too out of his mind to watch where he’s goin’. Had a knife with him, probably lookin’ to rob somebody blind.”

Your eyes flicker between him and the man, fully aware of how common stuff like drug addicts trespassing is and the old fashioned black and red ‘Trespassers Will Be Shot On Sight’ sign. You’ve grown up around guns, you’re more used to hearing them in a hunting or taking shots at beer bottles kind of way, but it’s not like Anakin’s the only one to have that kind of self enforced rule when it comes to his property. Still… killing a human man is different than making use out of a successful deer hunt, right?

“Maybe we should call the cops, he can’t hurt nobody like that…” You try to reason, casting a pitiful glance towards the cowering man.

There’s a scratch on Anakin’s face that’s still bleeding from the knife the guy had used before Anakin took it, it just barely missed his right eye, he could’ve lost it. You’ll ask to help him with it when you get back to the ranch, but you know that there’s no seeing to it right now. You don’t want to risk an infection just so you could brush your thumb across the wound, you’re not even sure why you want to, it’s like the urge just materialized in your head out of thin fog. Anakin gently shrugs your hand off and uses his free one to pull you against his chest, and it’s like you’re back on his horse, that same fear entwined with exhilaration like barbed wire. Your hearts are beating at the same pace, some folks say that’s how you know it’s love, that’s how you know it’s fate.

“You don’t got the stuff in ya to be a killer, that’s just fine, darlin’. ‘Cause I sure do.” His words dissolve into a previously unknown to you cold sneer.

Anakin clamps a burly, sweaty hand over your eyes as he empties the entire magnum into the tresspasser’s skull. The bright sun bounces off the brim of his hat, casting a shadow over his stormy eyes. He may not have let you witness the massacre, but you will never forget the sickening yelps the poor bastard gave to Anakin like prayer. And then he got put down in a more inhumane fashion than if he were a rabid dog. To your gracious host, there’s probably not a whole lick of difference. Between a wanderin’ sap and a deranged mutt, that is.

But there’s a far off expression on his face, maybe he was once at risk of having two bullets in his temple at the hands of someone unforgiving.

“Welp.” Anakin exclaims, making a point of slapping his thigh as he holsters his pistol. “Better head on home now, I reckon. Come on, honey, don’t want to lose you to the coyotes.”

It’s said like “kai-yohtes.” You balk at his teasing and obediently trail after him, a vulnerable duckling staying in line. The storm is hitting hard by the time you’re out of the woods, and you briefly wonder if the Angels up in heaven are gonna start bowling soon. A saying that got passed around in your family, when you and the ones before you would stare up in wonder and shiver in fear at the thundering purple skies as kids. You remember being surprised that one of the Angels’ bowling balls never fell down to earth, maybe it’d be somethin’ like a meteorite.

As is the case with many things, it’s easy to lose sight of the fresh corpse in the dry grass. Once you turn around and thread your finger through Anakin’s, dirtying them, it’s almost like that man never existed. There must be something wrong with you, sure the situation is so unimaginable that it would be hard to cope with, but shouldn’t you be feeling more guilt than you do? You feel bad, of course, but ‘easy come and easy go’ has always been the way of things in these parts. God giveth and God taketh away.

You’re back where you should be, a narrow dirt path going under a wooden fence to the ranch. Grand trees line the road forming a moss green canopy. A few workers are goofing off and playing a very amateur game of football, blissfully ignorant to the fact that Anakin can obviously see them from his place next to you.

It would be a peaceful place to die, a bright and clear afternoon-evening in the way that the world can only be when you’re about to leave it. That’s how you’d want it to feel, like you’re rowing a boat across the lake you used to go fishing at to see people you’d never thought you’d see again waiting for you. Fall leaves, blinding pale sun, a serene and calming quiet. You’d be the happiest you’ve ever been, skipping even though you never could as a kid. There’d be no sadness, only relief and a memento of everything that’ll only make sense when it’s someone’s turn to see you again. No buzzing from mosquitoes or chirping from crickets, only little lightnin’ bugs. Maybe you only get that kinda ending if you’re good, in the godly sense, if you come from something worth remembering.

Anakin raises an eyebrow and gently jostles you, and just like that your train of thought is derailed. He chalks it up to shock, and nods his head towards a clearing behind the building. A change of plans. You follow, as you are wont to do.

“That rat bastard had it comin’ to ‘im, hun.” He tries to reassure and squeezes your hand, imploring you to see reason. “The Force decided it was his time, sweet thing.”

You shake your head, not disagreeing, just in utter disbelief. “I just… most everyone in my life I've known that’s died did it when I wasn't there. I’ve never had to actually be there when they… you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” And that’s all he says, regardless of the truth.

It’s what you need, somehow he just understands exactly what that is. You’re starting to think that you certainly don’t have a damn clue. You look up at him again, really drinking in every facet of his entire being that you can latch onto and obsess over. You’re remembering why you were so anxious to get out of this sinkhole, it’s a miracle you ever got out of it in the first place. His hair’s all messy, dark curls strewn about like a windswept bale of hay. A storm is brewing in his eyes, like he could Earth to rotate in the opposite direction if he wanted it to. He works his jaw around in a weird way to get rid of the soreness after grinding his teeth.

It’s tantalizing, being the hand holding a man on the edge back from wreaking his God given havoc.

You dot a quick peck on his cheek, scrunching your nose up at the barest hint of prickly stubble.

His eyes widen, and the sun itself shines brighter. The cutest light dusting of pink spreads across his face, so he one ups you by pressing your lips together. It’s exactly how a first kiss should feel, a simple gesture that leaves you breathless and with more butterflies than a flower garden swarming in your tummy. There’s no fireworks, but you can hear wind chimes and birds singing as your lips glide together, the meeting of your tongues is so natural that you won’t be able to remember when his slipped through the seam of your mouth. You want to keen as he maps out your teeth, his spit has to have some kind of aphrodisiac in it.

Anakin works your jeans open and off your legs completely, his pupils expand when he sees your thick thighs in all their glory but he keeps himself from slapping them and acting like they’re the only part of your body. There’s an ever growing to do list in both of your heads, your combined inexperience brings a flurry of perverted ideas and porn scenarios to recreate with it, and you’re sad that you’ll very likely leave with none of them being fulfilled.

He yanks the collar of your tank below your chest, immediately leaving over to bite your cute breasts with all the grace of a rattlesnake. He doesn’t try to make any marks, he just wants to bite wildly and with reckless abandon, like he’s using your tits to self soothe. You’d do the same if he let you at his pecs to be fair, his chest is practically as big as yours if not bigger.

“This means somethin’ to me, hear that? ‘m always gonna remember my first.” He spits, clutching onto your bruised tit like he’s a split second away from sinking his hand into your viscera and dumpster diving for your heart.

He pauses pawing at your tits to reach in his back pocket and pull out a condom. It’s crumpled and the packaging is worn by rubbing against the denim of Anakin’s jeans, you can tell that he’s excited to finally put it to use. You’re glad that there’s some safety measures being taken, but your heart swoops in disappointment at the dose of reality. It’s the kind of thing that calls for the most diabolical, unhinged, strings of goopy fluid hanging from his balls as they slap against your rippling ass, raw sex. You don’t let yourself pout, Anakin’s making good use of the only working brain cell between the two of you. You scoot back on his lap to give him room to pop to button on his pants and whip his dick out. It makes a heavy ‘thwop!’ as it slaps against Anakin’s abs.

Your mouth waters at the sight, so thick with the just right amount of curve, it would scratch your throat perfectly. His hands shake harder as he rips the condom’s packaging open with his teeth and rolls it on his twitching length. You take a deep breath, finding comfort in the tense muscles on Anakin’s shoulders through his warm flannel. He curls a hand around the base of his cock and grasps it tightly, positioning it right under your empty hole. You’re lucky he didn’t have to tell you what to do, because working yourself down every inch would’ve been much more painful if you already needed to be taught a lesson. It’s weirdly sweet, the chaste pecks he presses along your nose and jawline as you adjust to what feels like a tree log forcing your tender folds to stretch around it. Your slutty body tries to twist itself in a pretzel with the way you’re swiveling your hips, trying to get more of Anakin’s dick inside of you when you’ve miraculously already swallowed him to the hilt.

“I want this pretty pussy weepin’ for me, I’m awfully sorry honey but i’m not stopping till it’s gushin’ all over me.” He speaks in between wet kisses up and down the column of your throat.

“Mmm- It’s okay, I want it like that, Ani. Promise- oh my god, so big.”

You make him feel like a man trying to outrun a forest fire only to get swept up in a tornado. Like there’s a fever in his brain that’s gotten into his blood, black tar dripping into his liver. Drives a man to drink so he can have a sliver of that feeling, that scalding need not even God could give you. There’s no finesse or coordination to anything, his lips frantically scurry along random spots on your upper body. His upward thrusts are heavy hitting and wrangle your breath out in stuttered gasps, he moves as if he were riding a horse, following only the imagined scent of old blood. Anakin’s cock is so big your walls could rip if he wasn’t always keeping a sharp eye on how much he’s bullying you. He doesn’t try anything crazy like fucking your cervix, it might shock you so much that you remeber exactly how long it’s been since he’s had your car “taken to the shop”.

His spurs dig into the dirt as he slaps your ass, the material of his gloves adding an extra bit of ‘umph!’ to the resulting sting. Anakin’s jeans are so warm against your ass that it takes a few more spanks before you really get the urge to bend over his lap and tell him to just have at it until you sob. You’re on an ecstatic high, living in the present with a near stranger’s dick balls deep inside of you. His eyes gleam gold when you make eye contact, and you find it so easy to fall down the rabbit hole, letting this man burn away all your responsibilities until he’s the last one left standing in a sea of ashes.

You don’t mind that he stops talking eventually, switching to gruff grunts and harsh yells. ‘Don’t be so stiff, let the movement roll through you.’ Anakin digs his fingers into the meat of your jiggling ass and delivers a final smack to both cheeks. You sigh in relief, but then you snap out of your cockdrunk haze to yelp at the cruel hit to your swollen clit.

“Need ya to keep squeakin’ sweets.” He orders. “Don’t want the townsfolk to think I fucked your brain out your ears.”

It’d be polite to make conversation with the people you meet when Anakin parades you around with his hat on your head later, something of a pre engagement tour. If the Force is good, you’ll be willing, because rope burn isn’t something you want to become your new normal.

“Chin up, buttercup,” He says almost bashfully despite how hard he’s pounding your puffy cunt, “We can get some ice cream at the fair after if ya like, make it a cute little second date.”

You whimper and harshly pull his hair, earning you a throaty moan and another slap to your clit, saying yes to him like you’ve already done a million times. You thought that the pure social anxiety of being around so many of Anakin’s employees would be nerve wracking, it’s nothing compared to having to speak to them AND keep their boss’s cum from oozing down your leg. Anakin’s discarded belt catches your eye when a sharp thrust sends your head falling back, and you picture the scuffed up belt buckle as the O shaped ring of a more traditional collar. The black stains from working on your car only add to the appeal, it scares you exactly how much you’d let the man fucking you with a cheap gas station condom get away with. You’ve already heard him kill a man, finding yourself in a relationship is pretty much the natural next step.

When he cums deep inside with a hoarse growl, there’s the sound of a bear trap slamming shut on an unsuspecting bunny rabbit. Your simultaneous orgasm is the tiny squeal it makes before it dies.

“I forgot to ask, hun, what stuffed animal do ya want me to win for ya?”

- faetreides 2024. do not repost, translate, or put my works into ai

[nonsensical-pixels]

hi everyone! today i bring to you 4t2 recolors of @kestrelteens 4t2 horse ranch conversions, namely of their baby goat and baby sheep. i rarely do recolors on this blog, but these are really cute and i didn't want to pass up on the anon's request 😄 i was going to do the horses as well, but i couldn't find their models or textures in sims4studio 🙁 maybe next time... for now, there are 9 recolors of the goat and 11 of the sheep, all ts4 originals. the textures of them have been included in the download too.

mari's meshes have been included, as i've done some minor edits to the material definitions: i've run @pforestsims' easy shine remover over them so that the animals are now completely matte. if you'd like to view some of the other deco animals on this blog, you can find them here (llamas) and here (farm animals).

DOWNLOAD: SFS | MF 🐐🐑

credits go to @kestrelteens for the adorable mesh conversions, @pforestsims for the revolutionary shine remover, and ea/maxis for the original meshes & textures 💓

if there are any issues that you find with this set, please don't be afraid to let me know! happy simming, and when you download this, do keep in mind,

( @sims4t2bb )

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART FOUR

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: Over breakfast, Jack invites you and Wyatt to spend the weekend at his ranch, but you are still not getting along

(this is the fourth part of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE|PART TWO|PART THREE

Warnings: angst, hurt, asshole!jack, bad language, fluff because wyatt is so damn cuteeeeee

A/N: so I'm watching kingsman again as I finished writing this piece and I am conflicted because I love Jack and he is so hot and handsome and flirty and everything and yet I wrote him like mf here, anyway I hope you guys like it because you guys like to suffer 🥺❤️

2.2k words

When you woke up in the morning, you realized you hadn't slept well in so long. You were so relaxed and well-rested you didn't even bother what time it was. 

Until you remembered you were a mother, and you had a toddler and that your dickhead of an ex was the last person you saw before falling asleep. 

Then all the trigger warnings you could possibly have were, of course, triggered. You immediately jumped off the bed, your heart filled with worry and anxiety.

The house was completely silent, what if Jack just took your son and left? Where would have he taken him? How would you track them down? Jack had way more money than you did, so if that was the case, how could you even handle that?

You tried thinking rationality and brush it off those thoughts, he must've left after you fell asleep, that was the only explanation. 

He wouldn't do such a thing to you, he was a dick, but he wasn't a monster after all, he wouldn't kidnap your son. 

You stopped by Wyatt's room, opening his door and expecting to see his beautiful little sleeping face, his cute bed hair and his socks thrown onto the floor, like he often left them though you never figured out how he did that while sleeping. You chuckled to yourself as you thought of how adorable he really was and for a moment, you felt a sting of pride in your heart, to know you were raising such a beautiful and blessed child. Most of the time you thought you were a mess, you felt guilty for being on your own even if you knew damn well Jack was the only one to blame for that, and you often thought your son deserved something better. You wondered if you would have these feelings if Jack had stayed, if maybe you two had got married or something. You knew motherhood was hard either way, but it would definitely be easier for you to have him by your side.

You knew you would be at least whole, as you had given yourself more and more to your son, to the point you felt you lost your identity at times. Sometimes it just seemed you had stopped being yourself and you became 'mommy' 

But on the other hand, the love you felt for your son was crushing and overwhelming, you would do anything for him, without a second thought. 

"Morning baby" you said in a low voice not to startle him and walked to his bed. You knew he would be starving by that time as you were so hungry yourself, lifting up the duvet you looked at the empty in horror to see your son wasn't there. 

You gasped as you felt hot tears threatening to spill out of your eyes, blood pumped so loud into your ears you could barely hear anything as you rushed outside, anxiety was running through your veins at the mere prospect of Wyatt being gone along with Jack, you couldn't believe that was happening, you didn't want to believe, but you were taken by a feeling of despair, it suffocated you and you couldn't even breath. 

And then you heard Wyatt's giggles coming from the kitchen. 

You stopped for a moment and tried to see if you were just being tricked by your mind when another giggle was heard. And there was a second voice, Jack's voice, of course. You couldn't quite tell what he was saying as it was muffled, but you didn't waste time, you rushed to the kitchen as fast as you could, dragging curious eyes from both Jack and Wyatt, who looked at you confused, at your urgency in getting there. 

"Mama!!!" Wyatt squealed and ran to you, hugging you tight and took you by the hand, with his tiny one, walking you to the counter, where he proudly showed what he and Jack had been doing for breakfast.

You picked Wyatt up, snuggling tight, not even paying attention to the food around you, just closing your eyes and taking in your son's scent, his warmth and his presence. 

Only when Jack inconveniently cleared his throat you snapped back at the reality, as he began frying the pancakes with chocolate chip and only then you noticed some patches of flour on your son's face. You couldn't help but chuckle as you kept him close.

"Mama, cowboy make pancakes!" He said excitedly as he pointed at what they'd been entertained for the past hour. 

"I thought it was nice making pancakes for Wyatt, I figured he likes it as much as you do" he said softly and you nodded "s-sure, pancakes are good" you told him and tickled your son's tummy. 

You went to the cabinets and took the plates and silverware you would need to use, thinking the irony of the situation was amusing as there was a time you would have killed for such domesticity with Jack and your baby, but now that he was there, all you felt was discomfort and suspicion. 

He could tell you were tense and not in the mood to talk, so he just shrugged it off and continue preparing breakfast until the three of your were sat at the table, ready to dig in. 

You went to cut Wyatt's pancakes into smaller pieces but Jack immediately took his plate and did it for him, which made your son give him a sweet smile "tank you" he said politely and chuckled laughed amused "you got some southern charm on you, kid" he winked at him and then turned to you, his expression hardening again as he watched your untouched plate 

"Aren't ya gonna eat, Y/N? You used like pancakes" he said joining his two hands as he rested his chin on them, observing you, who just shot him an unbothered look 

"I'm not very hungry, that's all" 

He nodded though he felt his blood boiling, knowing you were doing that just to get on nerves and unfortunately to him, it was working. 

"While you were playing Sleeping Beauty in your bedroom, I was telling Wyatt about the ranch I live… about the green fields he can play with, the animals he can see and the horses he can learn how to ride. And I'd like to invite the two of you to go there over the weekend. I was thinking maybe Saturday and Sunday? That way he can enjoy everything" he licked his lips softly and waited for your answer. 

You wanted to say no immediately, you wanted to slam your hands at the table and tell Jack to get the fuck out of your lives, but Wyatt turned to you with the biggest and most excited eyes you'd ever seen 

"Pwease mommy… let's go… I wanna see the cowboy wanch" he begged sweetly and tilted his head, so hopeful as his little heart accelerated with the expectation of going to such an amazing place like the one the cowboy he had learned to love in such short time he had met him.

You went out of words at that moment, you wanted to say no to Jack, but you would crush Wyatt's heart if you said no to him.

You had another thing to add to your list of unpleasant things Jack was doing ever since he walked back into your life. 

He knew telling a toddler about going to a place he would love and having him excited to go would be the perfect way to pressure you into saying yes. 

You took a deep breath and smiled big at Wyatt "mommy will talk to the cowboy so we can see… if things are alright, then we can go, baby" you told your son and stroked his cheek gently, seeing how his brown eyes lit up in excitement, just like Jack's did whenever you kissed him. 

You turned to the man "we need to talk" you asked him and soon enough the two of you stood in the hallway. You paced softly and folded your arms 

"I don't like this, Jack… at all. You told Wyatt about the ranch to get him excited because you know he would insist on going, and I also don't like how you are intruding in our lives, for god's sakes, I thought you had left with him when I woke up and-" 

Jack's expression got dark as he stared at you, he was taken back by anger at your insinuations. It pissed him off to see your attitude and though he tried keeping things cordially, you were making things harder and harder. 

How dare you think those things about him? Yeah, he had his share of bad actions and he wasn't proud of them, but going from that to child kidnapper was a whole level. 

He placed his hands on his waist and scoffed, towering you and not caring if he intimidated you at all

"Well, aren't ya an entitled little bitch? You really thought I had taken Wyatt away? Like a kidnapper? Like a criminal?"

"Little bitch?" You asked rather shocked, no matter what went between the two of you, Jack had never lacked politeness around you "where are your southern manners you're so proud of?" 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head 

"You hate my guts, and I ain't no fan of yours either, so I guess we're past that point aren't we?"

You swallowed hard as his rejection hit hard but you didn't want to see it 

"I thought you had taken him, yes. I woke up to the house completely silent, my son wasn't in his bed and I thought you had been gone with him… what was I supposed to think?" 

"I don't know… maybe that I was just making the kid breakfast?" Jack replied angrily, he hated to be falsely accused like that. 

"Making breakfast?!" You scoffed "A week ago you didn't even care if your son was alive or not, and you want me to believe you just wanted to make him breakfast?" 

Jack's eyes darkened as he took a step closer, trapping you against the wall

"Take that back right now, you fucking bitch… you think I wouldn't care if my wasn't aliv-" he ran his hand through his hair and looked at you "I lost one kid once, I ain't losing another one, ever again! Do you really think I wouldn't care? Here's someone I don't care about: you" he spat his words rudely "so no, I wouldn't kidnap him, because I want my boy but in a fair game, I have the right to see him, to spend time with him, and while he's little, you are part of the package, no matter if I like it not" 

You teared up at his cruel words, you didn't understand why Jack was treating you like that. You were the one who had reasons to be mean to him, not the other way around. 

"I'm not going to the ranch. It's not gonna be a nice experience for me, I used to live there with you, I know it feels like a lifetime ago, but I used to be your girlfriend in case you don't remember… you know, a time where I loved you and you loved me, but you can't stand me and I'm definitely not welcome there" 

Jack shook his head and looked down then at you again 

"I've only loved one woman in my life, you know that" he said and you went silent.

You nodded, not even bothering to hide your tears at that moment because he played dirty and the two of you knew it. 

"I am not going, Jack" 

"Yes you are, because Wyatt is coming so unless you want him to spend the weekend alone with me, which I am okay with it you are going" he said "and don't you even dream of denying that to him, because if you do, first thing on Monday a lawyer will be knocking on your door and the custody war is gonna begin because I ain't giving up on my little boy" he pointed his finger at you and you didn't say anything in return at first, you just dried your tears 

"I don't know what happened to Jack, it's like I'm talking to a completely different person. You look like the Jack I loved once, but you don't act like him. I just don't know if you've always been like that and I was fooling myself in thinking you were a good man, or if you got like that after everything that happened between us" 

Jack didn't say anything else, he turned his back to you and walked back to the kitchen. His heart was heavy and he had said things he shouldn't have, things he didn't even mean, but it wouldn't make a difference now. 

Wyatt sipped his juices and smiled

"Yummy pancake, cowboy, tank you" he said adorably "I finished evewything like a big boy" he squealed happily as Jack picked him up and snuggled him. 

He felt so happy and safe in the man's arms and clapped his small hands once you walked into the kitchen. 

You sat down, smiling at your son and giving him a sad smile. 

"Are you ready to go to the ranch baby?" You asked him with no enthusiasm, you hated Jack for doing that to you and you were scared of all the memories that place could bring you, as you knew they would be now even more painful than they already were.

____

A/N: I don't know if I wanna kiss Whiskey or kill him, probably both 😳💔

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : Part 10

“Safe & Sound”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: whew! What a journey this has been thus far. If a man ever treated me as well as Joel treats Gwen? Lord have mercy, I would fold so fucking fast. You’ll be in tears by the end. He’s so sweet to her, and your teeth will start aching. P.S. if you ever wanna write the softest, yet most toe curling smut in your life, just listen to ‘Roslyn’ by Bon Iver on mf repeat.

Summary: 2 weeks has passed since the night you were stabbed by one of Robert’s henchmen. Joel has refused to leave your side as you rest. He’s hopelessly devoted to you. He would do anything, kill anyone, just to see your eyes again.

~word count : 6.5k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, angst, trauma, brief mentions of PTSD. descriptions of a stab wound healing, hurt, comfort, overwhelming emotions, swearing, underlying possession, mentions of death, fluff, soft!Joel, protective!joel, feelings of guilt, consent, consent, consent, smut, mentions of fingering, teasing, edging, nipple play, praise kink, nicknames, unprotected p in v (wrap it kids) cock warming, after care, joel taking care of you the entire chapter pretty much about sums it all up. (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“Safe & Sound” by Taylor Swift/The Civil Wars

“Roslyn” by Bon Iver/Saint Vincent

“On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

“Here With Me” by d4vd

“I Can’t Go on Without You” by KALEO

“Shelter” by Dorothy

“To Be Alone” by Hozier

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” by Engelbert Humperdinck

“Work Song” by Hozier

“Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt

“Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran

April 2021 : Boston QZ

**Gwendolyn Gwen Brooks POV**

**flashback 1 week prior**

The last thing you could remember through your state of deliria was Joel’s voice, pleading with you to open your eyes. “Baby, baby. Hey, baby. Open your eyes dammit, please. Your eyes are so beautiful, Gwen. Please let me see them again.” He stroked your cheekbones gently, tears running down his face. “We’re gonna fix you right up. Gonna stop the bleeding and stitch you up, okay?” He had kissed you then, for the first time. He kissed you with tears wetting his cheeks, leaving salty streaks in their wake. He could taste the blood on your lips from the gash on your head, but he kissed you as if he could breathe life back into you from his lips alone.

His voice sounded fuzzy from the ringing in your ears. Everything around you sounded so far away as you were fighting to stay alive. You weren’t ready to go just yet. The world may have gone to shit, but you still wanted to fucking live. You swore in your last conscious moments, Joel Miller had kissed you.

He kissed you.

He kissed you.

He kissed YOU.

You could taste the salty sweat mixed with his tears on his lips. The desperation seeping from his soul as he kissed you. Then, it all went black.

***end of flashback***

There were three times in your 28 years of life where you feared dying. The first was when your parents had gotten infected. 8 years ago, you lived with your immediate and extended family on your uncle’s horse ranch in Northern Michigan. Each year, more of your family was picked off, till it was down to the bare bones. Your parents hadn’t meant to get infected. No one really ever does. They just were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. What hurt the most as you remembered, was the fact that they hid that they had gotten bit. They were too ashamed, too afraid to tell their only daughter that their end was near. You could still remember the sound of their snarls, the dead look in their eyes. The sudden flip of the switch and your mom and dad were attacking you. You pleaded with them to stop. You didn’t want to kill them, but what choice did you have? It was either you, or them. You were the last surviving member of the Brooks family, and you were on the run.

The second time you feared death was getting caught up with some raiders. The group you had formed for the past few years had gotten split up and you were once again, alone and vulnerable. You knew you couldn’t take on a group of men on your own, so you did what you did best, you ran like hell. Right into Joel and Tess. You remembered the fear in your eyes, the adrenaline pumping in your veins as you threw the knife at his face. You had no time to figure out in those moments if these strangers were friends or fo. You were gonna continue to do whatever it took to survive.

The third time you feared death was when James stabbed you back at the abandoned QZ bookstore. The feeling of the blade piercing your gut, the air being knocked out of your lungs. Your anguished cries as you fell back, clutching your wound. Seeing stars behind your eyes from the pain. You could hear Joel’s screams, you could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he lifted you into his arms. His voice pleading with you. This by far, was the moment you feared death the most. You couldn’t run, you couldn’t hide and you were all out of ideas. Joel. Your fellow, your guy, didn’t deserve to deal with you dying in his arms. Despite the odds being stacked against you, you were gonna fight like hell.

______________________

You slept for a week straight. From the blood loss alone, your body was too weak and it needed its rest if you were going to fully recover. Joel was absolutely reluctant to leave your side. In fact, nothing was going to make him budge. Nearly losing you, had psychologically fucked with him. He had gone as far to sleep on the floor, next to the couch where you were resting. He held your hand in his and refused to let go, even when his arm ached and he lost feeling in it. By day 3, Tess had to physically force him to go and shower and change his clothes. He fought her on it in the beginning, but from his own lack of sleep and pure exhaustion, he gave in eventually. His much needed shower lasted all of five minutes. He didn’t care that the water was cold, or that he had gotten a bit of expired soap in his eyes. No, all that mattered was getting back to you on the couch.

Tess had sat beside you then while Joel was showering. She had checked how your wound was healing. Gently lifting your shirt up, she assessed the damage. She was looking for any signs that your wound could be infected and just as she was reaching for the bottle of Penicillin, Joel was coming down the hall, his hair dripping wet and he had a fresh shirt on, his eyes locked on the couch. His footsteps were heavy and fast as he approached and sank down on the end of the coffee table. He reached for your hand then, grabbing it gently in his larger one as he interlocked his fingers with yours. He’d be losing his mind right now if he couldn’t feel the warmth of your palm around his.

“How’s she doin?” He rasped, voice thick with exhaustion and lack of sleep.

“She’s hanging in there. Not out of the woods yet, and I'm still concerned that she’s gonna get an infection, Joel.”

He nodded then, giving your hand a squeeze as he brought it up to his lips, lightly brushing a soft kiss to your knuckles. His eyes focused on your peaceful face. With his free hand, he leaned over the couch, bringing two fingers against the spot where your jaw meets your neck so he could feel your pulse. It was there, but still faint. He retracted his hand then before his eyes zoned in on your wound. He had made sure to change the bandages over the stitches every few hours. He was extremely careful and gentle as he cleaned around the wound. What upset him this morning was seeing the evident blooming bruises scattered about your body. Bruises from James sending the heel of his boot into your gut. He took a deep breath then, exhaling out of his nose as he cleared those thoughts from his mind. He gently pulled your shirt back down over the exposed skin, bringing his free hand up to rub it against his face. It was killing him inside that you weren’t awake yet. He truly had no idea how long till your body would regain its strength again. He’d do anything, kill anyone, just to see your eyes, hear your voice, your laugh–

“Joel?” Tess spoke when he didn’t respond to her immediately. She could tell he was in some deep thoughts.

He blinked a few times, lifting his head up to look at her then.

“I heard you. Just, processing is all. Go ahead and give her some more of that. She’s breathin alright. That’s a good sign, right?”

Tess didn’t want to give him any false hope. If they had the proper tools, if hospitals still existed. Then sure, she’d be comfortable telling him that your chance of survival was pretty damn high. However, with these circumstances, she couldn’t sit there and lie to him and say that you would probably be okay. Especially when she wasn’t so sure of your survival either.

She looked over at him then, taking in the permanent frown etched between his brows. How dull his eyes looked. His lips were severely cracked, bleeding in some areas of the delicate skin. She expected he probably had picked at them till they bled as a distraction. To put it simply, the man looked miserable.

“Yeah, it's a good sign that she’s breathing Joel. We can’t get our hopes up right away, we don’t know if she’s going to–”

He cut her off then, his jaw clenching and unclenching. You were not going to die.

“No, Tess. Don’t say another word. Her body is just restin. She’s gonna be fine. Don’t you dare go speakin like that.”

She reached over to him then, gently squeezing his knee before she grabbed the bottle of penicillin beside him and extracted the liquid through the needle. She injected it in the same section of your arm that he had. Once the medicine was administered, she set the vial and needle back down beside him.

“You should really think about maybe getting out of the apartment for a few hours Joel. I can stay here with her and watch over her. You haven’t seen the sun in days, and it really might do you some good.”

He shook his head immediately. There was no way in fucking hell that he was going to leave your side for more than 5 minutes. He gave into finally taking a shower, but leaving the apartment, leaving you like this was not an option in his mind.

“No. I ain’t leavin her side Tess. Don’t ask me again, please.”

She let out a sigh then. Knowing that he wasn’t going to budge anytime soon.

“Alright, fine. It was just a suggestion. Just thought y’know it maybe would do you some good.” She got up from the couch then, grabbing her worn backpack off the chair in the kitchen.

“The only thing that’s gonna be doin me any good is staying here, by her side Tess. If I leave, even just for a bit, I can’t protect her. She’s fuckin vulnerable right now.”

Tess had looked over at him then as she slung her backpack over her shoulder, tucking her gun away. It broke her heart to see him this distraught. She may have let him go, but she still deeply cared for him and nothing was going to change that.

“Alright, I get it. I won’t mention it again, okay? I’ll be back later. Try to sleep, if you can.”

She gave him one last once over, with a slight nod, before she left the apartment. Quietly shutting the door behind her and locking it.

Joel knew that Tess was only thinking of the best for him. He just truly could not fathom leaving your side. He slowly stood from the coffee table, only to sink down onto the floor, on his knees, still grasping your hand. He used his free hand to lightly brush a few strands of hair from your delicate face. “Hey, don’t listen to her shit okay? I ain’t goin anywhere and you’re not dyin. Not on my fuckin watch.”

His forehead slowly came to rest upon your exposed arm as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Look, honey. I would literally do anything, kill anyone just to fuckin see your eyes again Gwen. You take your time though, okay? Just, please get better. I’ll be here waiting for you, just like I promised. Remember that?” He waited for some miracle to happen. That suddenly your wound would be healed, and you’d open your eyes. He was grimly reminded that this wasn’t a fairytale. He wasn’t the prince charming who could wake you from his kiss alone. You weren’t the princess either. You both were just two people who endured the harsh reality of survival.

_______

For the next few days, Joel continued to be by your side. You started to show some improvement. It was nearly unnoticeable, but it was enough for his spirits to lift. He found himself talking to you more. It gave him some form of comfort, minimal at most, but it was something. He’d talk to you about Texas, his brother Tommy, Sarah, and how she probably would have fuckin adored you. He tells you about the painted portrait of you that Frank made, and how he’s going to give it to you as soon as you wake up. He tells you how he keeps the painting in his shirt pocket at all times, right against his heart. He even reads to you. He hopes that somehow, all of these one-sided conversations he has, will somehow coax you awake. Each kiss to your head, each gentle squeeze to your hand, has him hoping that you can feel it. That you can feel and hear him all around you, and that you're wishing you could open your eyes and see him too. Just as badly as he’s dying to see you.

By day 7, you were beginning to show increasing signs of improvement. Your breathing wasn’t as shallow, the color was slowly returning to your face and thanks to the penicillin, you surpassed getting an infection. Your body was still very much in pain, and you had a long way to go before you could be on your feet again. It was early evening when your fingers twitched the slightest in Joel’s hand. He hadn’t felt it at first, until your fingers had flexed again and he sat up immediately. Glancing down at your fingers interlocked with his. You moved them again, and his heart skipped a fucking beat. “Baby? Hey, honey. Can ya hear me?” His tone was incredibly gentle as he looked down at your face, waiting for the moment that you would open your eyes, anticipating it. Joel’s voice sounded closer, less fuzzy and more clear. You were slowly gaining your consciousness back and Joel was right there, just like he promised. When your eyes finally fluttered open, you had no recollection of where you were, and why there was a sudden dull pain coursing through your lower abdomen. Then, it all came rushing back. James, the knife, Joel. You panicked. Your body was trembling, eyes wide and frantic as you quickly sat up, wincing from the pain. You couldn’t form words, you were a shell of yourself and James had fucked you up, that was evident. You could feel Joel’s calloused, warm palms cupping your face. His touch was so gentle, you almost didn't feel it. His warm brown eyes were looking into your frantic ones. “Hey, hey. Look, Gwen. It’s me. It’s me. You’re okay, you’re safe. Y o u a r e s a f e.” He spoke to you reassuringly, his eyes stricken with concern as he looked at you.

You were in disbelief that he was really there. Your lips had parted open then, processing your conscious state. What you did next, threw Joel for a loop. You had gently grabbed his face then, and kissed him. There were fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as you went through an overwhelming amount of emotions. You felt like you were being hit by a fucking freight train. Over, and over again. A choked sob slipped past your throat then as he kissed you back. As soon as you broke down, Joel was cradling you against his chest as you clutched his shirt between your fists, gasping for air. The choked, anguished sounds emitting from your chest, shattered Joel to his core. “Hey, Gwen. Shh..shh..honey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you now. I’ve got you.” He had whispered softly against your hair. His one hand was gently holding the back of your head, while the other was resting against your lower back.

You struggled to take deep breaths then as he held you. It felt like your tears were neverending, heavy like a rainstorm as they trickled down your chin. You spoke finally, your voice was raw and cracked. “J-Joel i’m sorry I–shouldn’t have i’m sorry–” He cut you off in a hushed tone then, you had nothing to be sorry for, certainly not for kissing him. That was the last thing he wanted you to be upset at yourself for. “Gwen, honey. You don’t gotta apologize for that. Okay?”

You slowly lifted your chin from his shirt then, eyes glassy and your cheeks flushed and wet with salty tears. Your lower lip was quivering as you slowly nodded. “Okay.” You whispered softly.

“What can I do to..comfort you? I’ll do anythin, okay? Just name it. I hate seein you like this baby. Fuckin tearing me up inside.” He watched as you rested your cheek against his chest once more, your fingers had loosened their tight grip around his shirt now, but you weren’t going to let go anytime soon.

“Just–please hold me. Please, just hold me.”

He nodded then. Bringing his hand that rested against your lower back, higher up, pulling you into him as physically close as possible. Even then, that wasn’t enough.

“I can do that honey. I won’t let go, I promise.” Even when his arms began to ache, he refused to let go of you.

____________________

Sometime after, you had fallen asleep in Joel’s arms. You were exhausted and it was clear that your body needed more rest. He didn’t have the heart to wake you from your peaceful slumber so he instead carefully lifted you from the couch. His knees cracked slightly, and his back ached but he didn’t care about any of that. He quietly carried you to your room, setting you down upon the crumpled sheets. As soon as you could no longer feel his touch, you subconsciously reached for him. Your fingers were outstretched in his direction, searching for him. “Joel.” You whispered into the darkness.

“I’m right here, honey.” He answered right back. You could feel the bed dip down slightly from his body easing onto the mattress. You felt his strong arms slide around your smaller frame, pulling you into his chest gently. “M’right here.” He rasped out. He had pressed a feather light kiss to your forehead then. “Rest now, sugar. You’re safe.” His voice was like whiskey, smooth, warm, and comforting. That’s all it took to lull you back to sleep. Joel fought his own exhaustion then, forcing his eyes to stay open for as long as he could. He intended from this moment forward, to always keep you safe. When he could no longer fight to stay awake, his eyes fluttered shut. His dreams flourished with images of you.

You found it incredibly easy to slip into a routine with Joel. Not that you had much of a choice in the matter. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Not wanting you to exert too much energy. This man had gone from a big fat grump, to being overly protective of you. Not that you were really complaining. The thing was, you didn’t view Joel as your boyfriend now. The title seemed too cliche. You weren’t into the cliches, and neither was he. Your relationship was complicated, raw, and very much real. He spent every waking minute with you now. This level of domesticity was something that you had always craved, but never thought you’d ever get the pleasures of enjoying. Joel had no issues giving this pleasure to you. He found it to be just as comfortable as you did. He’d truly be okay with taking whatever it was that you’d offer him. Just having a small piece of you meant the world to him. You evaded talking about what had happened, nearly a month ago now. He didn’t push you to talk about it. If and when you were ready, he’d be there to listen. You had taken notice of Tess's continuous absence from the apartment. You hadn't seen her since that night. Joel assured you that Tess was fine, she was off doing her thing, whatever that had meant.

You could tell that the seasons were changing just by the warmth of the sun seeping in through the windows. It was comforting. Spring was in full bloom and you just wished for a moment, that you and Joel weren’t in this apartment. That instead, you were somewhere far away, tucked in a cozy cottage in the woods. It was a nice dream to have, as long as you realized it would never come true. Joel was comfortably sprawled out on the couch with your back resting against his chest. You still were getting used to the fact that Joel fucking Miller, enjoyed a good book now. You’d cause this man to turn absolutely soft. These moments were for your eyes, and your eyes only. Something had washed over you in those next few moments as you listened to Joel’s steady heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, his light chuckle at something he had read, the sound of the worn paper being flipped to the next page. Joel Miller was entirely yours.

You had carefully sat up then, turning so you were facing him now. His eyes flickered up to yours momentarily with a raise of his brow. You had delicately wrapped your fingers over the top of the book’s worn spine and coaxed it out of his grasp, tossing it onto the coffee table with a soft thud.

He made a slight sound of protest then. “Sugar, why’d you go and do that huh? I was still readin–” He was cut off by your finger tip lightly pressing to his lips then, silencing him. Joel was stunned, to say the least. You had slowly sank down into his lap then, straddling his hips, stealing the oxygen from his lungs.

“Is this okay?” You asked him then and his heart nearly burst right then and there.

“Huh? Yeah, honey course this is fine. What’re you up to?” His tone was light, and held a sense of amusement. He watched your face carefully then as he slowly dragged his hands up your thighs and settled them around your waist, playing with the ends of your frayed shirt. One that you had stolen from him.

“Can I kiss you, please?”

He let out a deep, throaty chuckle then. You were killin him slowly without even realizing it.

“Yeah, ‘darlin, Course you can. You don’t need to ask me twice.” He teased.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Why were you so nervous? This was Joel, your Joel. Your fellow, your guy.

The feeling of his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the soft skin on your hip bones was enough to coax you from your thoughts and back to reality. You leaned down then, cupping his strong jaw in your hand, your eyes locked on his, you were both anticipating the moment. Time seemed to stop when you had finally kissed him. His eyes fluttered shut, his fingers grasping firmly to your skin. Your lips were so sweet and he could easily find himself getting drunk off kissing you. you were his favorite drug by far. Your breaths were in sync as you kissed him languidly. You wanted to savor this fucking moment. Your chest was flush against his now. His kisses became desperate, needy. His teeth clashed against yours as he allowed himself the freedom of being completely consumed in you. He nipped your lower lip lightly then, letting his hands slip under your thin shirt, feeling the expanse of your warm skin beneath his touch.

“Tell me if it becomes too much. Don’t wanna overwhelm you.” He mumbled against your lips.

“Please, keep going.” Was your immediate response. There was zero hesitation behind your words. You wanted him as terribly as he wanted you. Your fingers were already toying with the buttons on his flannel as you detached your lips from his and started to pepper kisses along his jaw. He let out a hum of appreciation.

“Sit up honey.” His tone was huskier now, dripping with the desire for you.

You slowly sat up then, your cheeks were flushed and your lips were swollen from his kisses. You watched as Joel slowly began to lift your shirt from the hem. His eyes never left yours as more of your skin was revealed. He sat up slightly then gently gliding the fabric up your torso, over your breasts and finally, your head. The fabric was discarded to the side then. His fingers reached out and lightly brushed against your imperfect skin. Littered with scars, indents, you were like his own personal constellation. His thumb had brushed against the stitching on your abdomen then. You sucked in a harsh breath from the contact.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Gwen.” He breathed out.

Now you were the one left in shock. The butterflies swirled deep in the pit of your stomach and your head was spinning.

“Cat got your tongue, ‘darlin?”

He had a small smirk on his face now and you could see his dimple peeking out. God, this mother fucker was so handsome, you could melt into a puddle right now. “Shut up. You just always know what to say and frankly? It’s annoying as hell.”

He chuckled then, wrapping his arms around you, tilting his head down to be level with yours before he captured your lips in another searing kiss.

“Mmm. I tend to have that effect on ya sugar. What can I say?”

His lips had sinfully dipped from yours and made their descent down your jaw, nipping at the spot where your jaw met your neck. You immediately leaned into him then, stifling a quiet moan. He had found your sweet spot with ease. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Miller. I swear to god.”

“Ditto, Sugar.” You could feel his slick smirk against your searing skin. Your mouth fell open when he had sucked harshly at your thin skin, leaving marks in their wake. When his lips dipped lower, and lower, the need for more was becoming nearly unbearable. He had licked a hot stripe between the valley of your breasts. Your fingers had found their way into his hair, gripping his soft curls as you let your nails lightly scratch his scalp.

When his mouth finally enclosed around your nipple, you nearly fell apart. His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin, biting down slightly causing you to jolt from the sensation.

“Fuck.” You gasped.

He hummed in response, bringing his other hand around the swell of your untouched breast. Toying with your nipple between his thumb and forefinger while his mouth continued to expertly worked the other. It was a delicious combination, the way his mouth and fingers played you like a violin. You found yourself grasping his hair tighter, yanking him up suddenly before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips drinking in his low chuckle that rumbled from deep within his chest.

“I wasn’t done with ya yet. You’re a needy little thing, huh?”

“Shut up, Joel.” You mumbled against his lips and in one swift movement, he had turned the tables, flipping you gently so you were underneath him now. Your back hit the couch with a soft thud before his lips were on yours once more. Your fingers frantically began to undo the buttons of his flannel. He broke the kiss only to help you out with the last few before you were pushing the fabric down his broad shoulders and biceps. It was soon discarded with your shirt on the floor. Your lips met once more, desperation seeping through both of you.

“I’m gonna take care of ya, okay honey? Will you let me do that, please?”

You were nearly clawing at his skin now, your nails lightly scraping his biceps.

“Please, Joel. Don’t make me beg you.”

He nipped at your lip once more, tugging it out with his teeth before he released it.

“Ain’t gonna go and put you through that kinda torture, sugar. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. I got you.” His forehead was lightly resting against yours now, his lips barely touching yours. He was the devil, you were certain of it. He watched your eyes intently then as he slowly dragged his hand down your torso, brushing against your navel. Your skin felt electrified from his touch then as his hand dipped lower, and lower.

“G’nna take these off now, okay honey?”

All you could do was nod, your breath was caught in your throat and he had barely touched you yet. You felt his hand grasp the waistband of your sweats then, slowly pulling them down over your hip and thighs and past your ankles. He was taking his sweet time with you, and it was driving you crazy. His hand came between your inner thighs then, coaxing them open, not that he even had to try. His fingers had slowly dipped down under your panties, toying with your slick folds as he spread them open.

“Wet for me already, hm? You're absolutely drippin for me baby.” His words were straight filth to your ears as you felt your back arch up towards him, lips parted open, a low moan slipping past them.

He toyed with your clit then, moving his fingers in expert slow circles, applying just enough pressure for you to mewl. His fingers were slick with your arousal then as he brought his middle finger down lower, circling your entrance as he slipped it into your warmth, slowly. His finger was knuckle deep as he curled it against the spongy spot of your walls. As your moans slipped out of your parted lips freely, he drank them in, kissing you once more as he slipped his forefinger in and slowly began to pump them in and out of you. Listening to the squelching sounds of your pussy clamping down around his thick digits.

You were a mess already as you kissed him, your lips struggling to keep up with his as he continued to ruin you with his fingers. His free hand had reached up to cup your face then, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb as he watched you slip into pleasure.

“Feels good, doesn’t it Sugar? You’re takin my fingers so well baby. You can hold on a little longer, can’t you honey?” He had used his thumb to circle your clit once more as he increased the pace of his fingers, curling them inside you once more.

You let out a strangled moan, your eyes rolling back into your skull.

“I-I can hold on a little longer baby, fuck.”

His lips curved up then from your response. He took note of how you called him baby and god, did he love it.

“That’s it. Good girl. You’re such a good girl for me honey.” He praised you then. One last curl of his fingers deep inside you, nearly had you on the edge. Before you could be seeing stars, he had slipped his fingers out. They were coated in your arousal and you watched with hooded eyes, in a daze as he slipped them past his lips, licking his fingers clean right before your very eyes. This man was the definition of Filth.

“You taste so fuckin sweet honey. G’nna have to get a proper taste of you later, okay? It’ll be my treat. You’ll love it, I promise.”

He was kissing you again, letting you have a taste of yourself against his lips. You wanted him even more now, if that was even possible. Skin on skin with him buried to the hilt inside of you. Your two bodies connected, that’s what you really wanted.

You were grasping for his belt then, undoing his buckle in a haste. He had grabbed your wrist gently then, ceasing your movements. “Joel, please. I need you, I need all of you.”

“You sure, sugar?” He wanted all of you too, more than ever now but this wouldn’t just be fucking, not like the first time. He knew this would mean a hell of a lot more to both of you.

You sat up then, grabbing his face in your hands gently, stroking your thumbs along the coarse stubble of his beard. Your chest was rising and falling at a quick rate as you were coming down from your near orgasm moments ago.

“Joel, baby. I’m more than sure. I’ve never been more fuckin sure of anything in my entire life.” Your confession knocked into him, your words stealing the air from his lungs.

“I’m yours.” He whispered, bringing his hands to rest along your cheeks then, using his thumb to brush a strand of loose hair behind your ear, his forehead resting against yours. You both were silent as the moment washed over. The realization, the excitement that bubbled between you. The chemistry was palpable, and electric. Suddenly, he was kissing you again, slow, deep, intimately. There was nothing but passion emitting from his lips. While his fingers gently pushed your panties down past your ankles, you worked his jeans down, giggling lightly in between kisses as he struggled to kick them off.

“Damn fuckin things. Always gettin in the fuckin way.” His Texas accent was thick now and when he finally kicked them damned things off, he wasted no time to rid himself of his boxers now as he settled between your thighs, his tip lightly pressing against your slick folds. He grabbed the back of your thighs then, gently yanking you down so you were beneath him. The movement caused the length of his cock to slide up between your slick folds.

You both let out a low hiss from the friction.

His lips hovered above yours as he grabbed the base of his cock, inhaling as he slowly sunk his tip past your folds, sinking into your deep warmth, his eyes flickering to where your bodies connected, watching as he disappeared inside of you completely. Your sweet moans intertwined with his low groans. He dipped his head down, capturing your lips between his as you brought your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him in as close as physically possible as he thrust his hips slowly, at first. Your nails scraped at his skin then as he quickened his pace, giving one sharp thrust that knocked you back slightly. He detached his lips from yours so he could watch your face, see your mouth fall open, watch your breasts bounce with each sharp thrust.

“Fuck, honey. You feel so fuckin good. God, I'm gonna get drunk off you and this pretty little pussy. You’re killin me, Gwen.”

He grasped your thighs then, bringing them around his hips so he could fuck you at a deeper angle. You immediately caught on, digging the heels of your feet into his ass, bringing him in closer as he continued to fuck you. In his haste, he brought his thumb down between where your bodies were connected. He vigorously started to rub circles against your already sensitive clit, he wanted you to cum before he would even get the chance.

“Joel, i’m close baby, i’m so fuckin close.” You could taste the impending orgasm on your tongue as you moaned out his name.

“I know you are ‘darlin. Doin so good baby. You’re takin me so fuckin well. G’nna get you there alright?” He gruffly spoke, snapping his hips once more before his thrusts started to become uncoordinated and sloppy. He continued rubbing your clit, you were nearly seeing stars as a strangled sob of pleasure wrecked through your body.

“That’s it baby, that’s it. Cum for me honey. C’mon, let go. I’ve got ya, you’re safe.”

One final thrust, and flick of your sensitive bundle of nerves had you falling apart around him. Your thighs were shaking as he held himself at the hilt inside of you. He came undone as quickly as you had. You were chanting his name like a fucking oath and he cut you off with his lips, kissing you sloppily as he groaned out your name, mumbling into your lips about how good you were for him, how fuckin beautiful you were. He rested his sweaty forehead against your shoulder, his eyes were closed as he panted heavily. You brought your hand up into his sweat soaked hair, running your fingers through it as you cradled his head gently. He stayed buried inside of you, even after he had gone soft. Neither of you wanted to be separated from each other just yet.

Once both of your breathing was no longer jagged, and your heart rates turned to normal, Joel had turned his head to look at you, a lazy smile gracing his features. He looked drunk off sex, so did you.

“How was that darlin? Did I do alright?”

You couldn’t help but giggle then. It was such a sweet sound to his ears and he liked that you were holding him so close. Your comfort was appreciated 1000 times over.

“You silly fuckin man, you did more than alright. You were amazin.” You had a soft smile on your lips as well and he couldn’t help but lean in, kissing you sweetly before he pulled away and pecked your nose, causing you to giggle again.

“Mmm, good. Just needa ya to inflate my ego a bit, honey.”

You gave his shoulder a light slap and he chuckled from it.

“You, Joel Miller, can be an insufferable bastard when you wanna be.” Your tone was light and playful as you continued to lightly play with his hair.

“You’re right on the head with that one ‘darlin. You enjoy it though. I’ll keep doin it if it means I get to hear your laugh. You’re adorable.”

“Shut up, I'm still recovering and you’re gonna make me blush!”

“Good.” He spoke lowly with a smirk on his face before he had slowly slipped out of you. He gave you one last kiss before he reached for his boxers and slipped them on, handing you your panties.

“Hang tight, okay honey? Gonna get you a towel, glass of water and a fresh shirt, okay?”

You watched as he stood then, checking out the way his back muscles flexed. God, you were so fucking lucky.

“Goin all gentlemanly on me now, Miller?”

He looked back at you then, grin on his face as he nodded.

“Had to bring that southern charm out on ya eventually honey. You deserve it. Now, you just sit there and look pretty for me.” He winked then and you reached down grabbing his shirt from the floor and chucked it at him. He caught it, no problem. Bastard.

Joel returned to you minutes later, a fresh shirt in hand and a towel. He leaned down then gently wiping between your thighs. He was very attentive as he cleaned you up. You had never had a man take care of you like this before. Sure, you had your fair share of partners in the past, none were like your Joel. Nothing was ever going to compare to him. He had you sit up then as he slid the fresh shirt over your arms, stealing a kiss before he padded off to the kitchen. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, bringing the collar of his shirt to your nose, it smelled of him. It smelled of home.

He handed you a glass of water then, before he sank down beside you, bringing his arm around you, leaning over and kissed your cheek sweetly as you took a sip of the water, settling against his warm, bare chest.

A comfortable silence washed over both you and Joel as you both recovered from your post-sex activities. A warmth had settled over you and couldn’t help but brush your fingers across his jaw lightly, taking in the way he smiled at you. It was a rare sight for Joel Miller to smile. He saved those moments for you. Tonight, he had given himself entirely to you. He was allowing himself the freedom to feel again. It was hard for him to even try and put into words how you made him feel. The one thing he did know, was that he was forever grateful that you stepped into his life. You brightened it in more ways than you’d ever know.

You had gotten the best sleep in your entire fucking life that night. All thanks to Joel Miller. your fellow, your guy.

Chapter 11 :

[notsofriendlyfriendlyreminder]

I'm listening to my liked songs AND NO! YOU WILL LISTEN! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH AMERICAN SHOES BY RAINBOW KITTEN SURPISE IS ABIGAIL AND JOHN CODED MF LISTEN

You said I'll come back, I'll come back for you my love, wait for me You said you're the only, You've been the only one I love, and love believes

YOUR HONOR THEY ARE IN LOVE

But love is a bird that you kept in your coat Warm until it died in the dark And death is the love of what hurts you the most So you drink your day away till you're warm as paradise

YOUR HONOR THEIR LOVE IS NOT PERFECT IT BURNS IT STINGS AND IT'S A PRODUCT OF THEIR TIME BUT MAINLY PRODUCT OF THE WAY THEY WERE RAISED AND FORCED TO MATURE SO SOON

I'm not hurt I'm broken, But I called to say I'm fine

YOUR HONOR THEY'RE BROKEN BUT MAYBE!!§ MAYBE!!!!!!!§ And I heard you had another love, But I'd love you to think I don't mind

YOUR HONOR HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK! THEY ALL HAD HER AND SO WHAT The baby in your arms ain't mine, But I made believe as though it was

YOUR HONOR EVEN IF YOU LIKE THE THEORY JACK AINT HIS HE IS FUCK YOU YOUR HONOR RESPECTFULLY And I didn't mean to call this late but I think I'm in love With the thought of us

YOUR HONOR! THEY DESERVE TO GROW OLD

So you drink your day away till the liquor in your mouth laughs, And mirrors paint you beautiful like older photographs, But we grow, we grow old, Even this won't last

YOUR HONOR NOTHING IS FOREVER AND THEY DIDN'T GROW OLD BUT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND IF NOTHING JACK IS HERE WALKING PROOF OF THEIR LOVE AND THE RANCH IS THE PROOF THE CHICKENS THERE ARE THE PROOF THE BLOOD SPILLED IS THE PROOF ARTHUR'S BLOOD IS THE PROOF No one understands, no one cares at all And they're tearing down our sacred places in the hall You know I hate to dance, Still you ask, still you ask for my hand

YOUR HONOR THE RANCH IS GONNA FALL APART WITHOUT THEM IT'S GONNA BE DESTROYED BUT ONCE HE STOOD TALL AND PROUD AND THERE WAS LAUGHTER IN THE HALL

I love you like the kids love throwing bottles of the bridge And breaking in to trade your fix for American shoes For American shoes, I've been dying to lie awake In a room for two, but

YOUR HONOR AMERICAN DREAM IS A LIE BUT LIFE IS FULL OF LIES AND WE LIVE AND LOVE FOR THE WHAT IFS I'll come back, I'll come back for you my love But love is a bird that you kept in your coat Warm until it died in the dark And death is the love of what hurts you the most So you drink your day away till you're warm as paradise

YOUR HONOR I PRAY THERE'S A BETTER WORLD IN WHICH THEY ALL SURVIVED AND THE FIRE IS BURNING IN THE LIVING ROOM AND THERE'S FOOD ON THE STOVE AND ABIGAIL IS STILL PLAYING THE PIANO AND JOHN GOES FISHING WITH JACK

[stardust-sunset]

hi hello i am a server at a restaurant by day and a kyle fan by night so i am more than happy to supply you with some waiter!kyle headcanons! warning: very VERY long and this isn’t even all of them

he would be one of the strongest servers in the restaurant. i can see him being really organized and having a system for everything. he’d be good with the hospitality part, dude never forgets to bring your side of ranch and water glasses never go empty. it takes a lot to overwhelm him.

however…on the rare occasions he is in the weeds…he’d sass the other staff and grumble under his breath. i don’t see his tables suffering because of this, he screams in the walk in before interacting with them. if he’s got a real bitchass customer, the sass comes out again. and then he screams in the walk in and complains to all his friends about it for the next week. that being said. he has had to be held back from confronting a guest by his coworkers once or twice after being stiffed.

i was a hostess for years so many thoughts here. if he gets triple sat or triple skipped he would be so nice and forgiving to the hostesses to their FACES, but be thinking in his head “how are you this fucking dumb”. if it keeps happening though he will say something, he wouldn’t yell and be a total dick about it but he would be a little condescending. for really good hosts and bussers he likes though, he tips them out extra because he’s just that generous. he would watch out for the young hostesses and make sure the creepy old men don’t bother them. he’d see that shit and immediately direct the old fart away from the underaged girl. and we love him for that.

never lets anyone borrow his fancy pilot g2 pens (same)

always looking dapper! he gels his hair for work cus it needs to be out of the way. and that apron has been washed, steamed, and pressed by mama broflovski herself baby

has beef with the bartender because one very busy saturday night he super sassed them for taking too long to make a drink only to realize he never actually rang it in…oops. bartender never forgave that one

took forever to learn how to pull a beer from the tap and honestly is still not very good at it (me)

refuses to clean any bodily fluids in any part of the restaurant, he’d quit his job first. don’t get paid enough for that (also me and you’d be surprised how often this is a problem)

master silverwear roller like he flys through that shit. mf always leaves exactly when he’s cut bc all his sidework is done already

if the line cooks give him shit he speaks to them in jersey and they’re like oh we didn’t know you were chill like that nvm

he’d have regulars that he just loves and adores and some regulars that he hates so much that he has forbade the hosts from ever putting them in his section

oh he’s a weekend shift hog, he thinks he deserves the busy shifts because he’s simply just a better server than the others so logically why wouldn’t he? smh

he usually likes it when the guys come to eat while he’s working and they goof off a little, but if those mfs show up on a busy weekend he’s like no god please no because they are like the biggest distractions ever. i would go on about how stan, kenny, and cartman would act while kyle’s working but i fear i’ve made this ask long enough as is

the dumbass smile in my face as i saw this in my inbox, i was SO looking forward to answering this one

i fucking love these ohmygosh-he’s such a bitch but in the best ways?? like he genuinely gets me sometimes-

he gets so damn sassy when things don’t go the way he intended-he’s never really snapped at people, he just makes small bites to the neck like ‘oh i didn’t realize that you were doing my job now for me’ and he would let out the most sarcastic ass laugh istg-i feel like he would be the kind of ‘busy bee’ worker where he absolutely loses track of time and is like ‘oh my break was a half hour ago fuck’

he probably tries to take all the night shifts because that’s just how he is. he’s a night owl and likes sleeping in ‘til noon.

but YES PLEASE-I would LOVE to read more of your headcanons like this!! i really don’t mind how long it gets-the more the better imo! i love reading stuff like this!! don’t feel nervous, i would LOVE to read some more!!

(he also sneaks leftovers out for kenny. i like to think those two get closer in their teens because kyle realizes how much kenny means to them all)

one i personally have is that cartman knows kyle’s schedule like the back of his hand and follows a routine in which he knows when all kyle’s breaks are. cartman will subtly fuck with kyle and make him miss all his breaks, usually including his lunch break. (if he’s working the morning, which he usually ends up doing, unlucky) he comes back later to laugh in kyle’s face because poor boy’s hungry and tired. makes some snide ass comment about how ‘oH kYlE tHaTs So ImProFeSsIoNaL oF yOu To YaWn MiDsEnTeNcE’ or he laughs because ‘aren’t you a waiter? your job is to bring out the food, not to want it, kahl’ dunno how the rest would play out. that’s just one i have-if you wanna add on tho i’d love to hear it!! :)

anyway. i’d love to hear any other headcanons you (or anyone else for that matter) may have! ^^

[cinamun]

Mercy couldn’t just hold on until the all black southern soulful cowboys that also might be able to add some acoustics to her piano songs came to the save 😒 I will not let this go. MERCY PLEASE. I am on my mf knees. Don’t waste no more lobster Mac on that man. Dust yourself off and make some collards and cornbread for when the boys ride in to town. I’m begging at this point. Like think of the small housewarming at Jerri and Gabby’s new ranch and they just so happen to get a visit from a certain cowboy that was previously posted and he and Mercy share a “whew LAWD alrighty” moment and the rest is history and he helps her back Bishop’s toxic ass things. I’m trying to hard to extinguish this dumpster fire. THINK OF THE BABY MERCY 😂 PLEASE.

Me, yelling for Mercy to think about the g-baby!

[junkh3ad]

Comfort foods for Dethklok

Nathan- Doritos and chocolate milk obviously. He’d especially love the super spicy chips or the bbq or ranch flavoured chips

Skwisgaar- I’m not sure if he’s too fond of food but he’d like the Swedish saffron buns. Or grilled fish idk

Murderface- I feel like he’ll love anything with cheese. Like put extra cheese on everything and it’ll be good. Like Mac n Cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, cheese pizzas, you name it. And if he’s lactose intolerant, MF wouldn’t care he’d still eat cheese anyway

Toki- definitely candy like chocolate bars or any gummy candies. I feel like Toki would love Japanese candy like konpeito, Pocky or Japanese Kit Kat flavours

Pickles: obviously cinnamon buns and beer. His favourite food combo. He’d stuff his face full of them if he can. And French fries dipped in ketchup or hot sauce.

That’s it

i think tokis candy intake is definitely super duper monitored by everyone, pickles and skwisgaar especially. Skwisgaar is always taking his sweets away when he sees it fit, not letting him get too much in his system because of his diabetes. Other than that i think he enjoys baby carrots! he seems to me like he’d care the most about what he eats (candy aside)

Can i just said it’s so funny that cinnamon buns are pickles favorite snack/food. he’s so me. it’s so silly.

[the-book-queen]

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[redoqs]

This is for the mf’s that think while people are oppressed and experience racism, SHUT YOUR:

𝐀

albino monkey

albedo

arctic menace

alabaster geckos

albino skinwalker

ashewo

ash crickets

amebo

aje

ashiere  

arindin

apoda

𝐁

baby powder

baking soda slugs

beach flamingos

birch trees

borax bites

bleached cheezits

bird caca

blanco bullies

bleached flip flops

baboons without fur

bland baboons

bleach demons

blizzard bliss

blancs

bone thugs

borax bats

𝐂

cauliflower conquerers

cauliflower pigeons

chrome startup screen

cauliflower crunchers

casper crickets

condensation calamities

chewed spearmint gum

coleslaw

columbus cadets

cave dwellers

chalk children

chalk chihuahuas

chalk chimps

ceiling fan

cloudy with a chance of colonization

children of the chalk

clear people

cultureless neanderthals

cum stain

cum skinned goblins

cigarette buds

cocaine monkey

coconut cocoos

coconut shavings

cornstarch crusaders

cotton ball flies

cotton swabs

cumstaint colonizers

colonizer

colombochauns

colourless cockroaches

corn starch

cousin lovers

cream cheese

cream confederate

crystal methamphetamine powdered iguanas

christopher columbus stans

casper the ghost

cracker barrel

cement walls

cloud chompers

cheese curds

clorox conquerors

cherry gatorade

crest extreme whitening toothpaste

culture vultures

cornstarch snakes

chlorine community

𝐃

dandruff clumps

discord light mode

death eaters

discharge doritos

discharge snow drop

discharge donkeys

discharge stains

discharge cosplay

discharge doggies

discharge gremlins

dandruff flakes

dove soap

default paint

deodorant stain

dog daters

dog kissers

dry chicken munchers

dry wall

dust mites

dutch dummies

𝐄

enemy of the sun

elmers glue

elbow ash

eggplant without the skin

eqinsu ocha

expired cheese

expired milk

𝐅

feta cheese folks

flavourless oatmeal

flavourless twinkies

flashback mary

flour fleas

flour power

frost feind

frosted opossums

foam cups

funky dime smelling bitch

𝐆

greek yogurt

garlic goblin

ghost thugs

gora (horse in Hindu)

grandpa’s pubes

𝐇

hueless crayons

hueless hooligans

high spf sun factor 50/50

𝐈

ice chimp

ice mice

iron golems

infecting wipes

iphone chargers

iphone light mode

ivory individuals

ice scorpions

inkless markers

𝐉

jeff the killers

jizzy delinquents

jar of mayo

jackie crackies

jelly babies with too much powder

𝐊

keeho’s white wall

ku klux karen

ku klux kleenex

kleenex klumps

𝐋

la llorona

lice attractors

lice breeders

lice factories

light mayonnaise

light mode

livestock

low fat milks

𝐌

marshmallow fellows

maggots

marshmallow minions

milk crickets

milk man

milk maggots

milk muncher

modge podge

minecraft ghast

milk beetle

mozzarella cheese

mayo packets

mayo monkeys

mayo skunk

mayosapiens

mcdonald’s cup lid

mayonnaise murderers

melaninly challenged

mosquito larvae

𝐍

no seasoning seagulls

no purpose flour

nail clippings

naked rambutan

napkin american

𝐎

oyinbo

ode oshi

omo ale

ori buruku

oniranu

onisekuse

ode buruku

ode

obun

oloshi

olodo

𝐏

palm coloured ones

paperback

paper people

people of colonial complexion

people of no colour

pillsbury dough boys

pillsbury pillager

pigment challenged beast

pink africans

powdered donuts

popcorn ceiling

powder rangers

powdered crickets

powdered roaches

porcelain possums

poorly powdered doughnuts

printer paper

plain toast

polar bears

privileged primates

pwc(people without color)

peeled chicken nuggets

𝐐

q-tips

quails without color

𝐑

rabies foam

ranch guzzlers

ranch opossum

ranch raccoons

ranch rats

ranch roach

rice rats

rice rascals

𝐒

salt rocks

saltine cracka

salt shaker

salty scallywags

saltine

sand crabs

seasonably challenged people

sentient snowmen

sheepskin

silentos silencers

snow apes

snow bunnies

seasonedn’t

snicker lickers

snow opossum

snow rat

snow roach

snow toads

snow worm

sour cream gorillas

sour cream n onion

sour cream snakes

sour patch pilgrims

styrofoam balls

snow tribe

stanky ashes

silverfish mutations

styrofoam sickness

sundown sisters

sun poisoned serpents

𝐓

table salt tammies

teabag trespassers

thin lipped chalk child

tighty whitey

toilet paper travellers

toilet seat

teabag trespassers

translucent powder

translucent troglodyte

translucent tyrants

𝐔

useless crayon

uncoloured orangutan

uncoloured skittles

untitled document

undeveloped sperm

unedited google docs

unseasoned chicken

unused pad

unwhipped cream

𝐕

vanilla pudding cups

vanilla cricket

vanilla gorillas

vanilla vultures

vanilla villagers

vanilla wafers

volcano ash

𝐖

walking recessive genes

wendigos

wiggerely wiggers

whipped cream armadillos

white board

white mutation

white neanderthals

white-out monkeys

white pus

wet dogs

walking dandruff

white trash

wannabe pocs

white tongue

white walker

wonder bread

𝐗

xanax blocks

xenophobic xylophones

𝐘

y'allternatives / y'allts

yogurts yodellers

yeast yeti

yeast yodellers

𝐙

zebra lacking stripes

zit insides

MOUTH. :)

Discharge Doritos?!?!?!,😭😭😭😭

[samsspambox]

ok ok so here's a brainworm

The dumb shit they did in their childhood

listen,,, i know we all simp for one or multiple of these mfs but i want more comedy/slice of life/backstory so have this

artem probably wrote fan fictions as a teen. i'm really not gonna take criticism in this one. he has enough of an online media presence as a movie reviewer and he's not startled by it so i know damn well he had a fanfic phase. most of his shit is 6/10 at best but he's known for a 400k Slow Burn, friends to lovers fanfic about Tris and Four from divergent and named it "If divergent made sense". He wrote it as a way to prove that he could make a better sci fi story but he unknowingly made it v sappy. his user tag was probably something with Atticus bc tell me this man did not find Atticus attractive in to kill a mockingbird,,, pROVE ME WRONG. ok maybe like atticus_wing (yes he put his last name but also it's a good play on the last name finch) or atticus01 but most likely thewritingsofatticus

luke did stupid shit all the time. he's the equivalent of "ap/honor students are smart, but they're sTUPID" like he literally got A's on all his exams and shit but had to ask "what color is a black panther" like bro cOME HERE COME HERE. anyway the crowning jewel of his stupidity was he somehow pavlov-ed a squirrel on their campus to come to them and they would feed it, right? but one day they didn't and that mf jUMPED ON LUKES HEAD AND WOULDNT GET OUT. all throughout the rest of his schooling he was called squirrel boy and his senior quote was "if you give a squirrel a cookie they get attached and then attack you" the squirrel's name was nutmeg

given that vyn probably had homeschooling or went to a private school or some bougie shit, he really didn't do stupid shit at school, but aT NIGHT. he would sneak out bc i'm sure this man had a rebellious phase. anyway i feel like he would go out exploring at night and i feel like he's solely responsible for any rumors about a ghost in the forest. and you know this man took advantage of that so he started sneaking out with a sheet until one day his sheet got caught on some branches and fell fACE FIRST. broke his arm and probably was grounded a lot after that. 

marius did so much shit but he could get away with it cuz he's the baby of the family (i say this as the oldest of mine)he dabbed unironically. that's just there. but i feel like he has made a fool of himself internationally. idk maybe his dad was on a business trip and took the boys and it was maybe a ranch or something,,, but somehow someway he let out a bunch of pigs and they started chasing him (no, he did not think to throw the corn he had in his hand away thank you very much). his dad was giving this very important interview and all you see in the background is marius full ass spRINTING and a second later this like horde of pigs after him and his dad is looking at him like,,, son why,,, it's a video on the internet called "pig run" which then inspired the game from the same monicker.

[fnf-writingz]

Carol: Welcome to Carl's Jr what can I get for you

BF: YURRRRR

Carol: (Sigh Oh my gosh...)

Carol: Twelve seventy eight

BF: Wait what happened-?

Carol: Twelve seventy eight

BF: I- I didn't even order yet big sis

Carol: Twelve Seventy Eight. Pull to the window.

BF: Well uh... Let- Let me get uh the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger-

Carol: Yes yES YES MF- THE DOUBLE WESTERN BACON CHEESEBURGER WITH EXTRA BBQ SAUCE WITH THREE TENDERS, TWO RANCHES, AND TWO BBQ SAUCES

Carol: Why are you playing with me Boyfriend?!

BF: Well damn baby! How you know it's me?

Carol: YOU'RE THE ONLY MF WHO COMES THROUGH MY DRIVE THRU SAYIN' "YURRRRRRR" AT 2:55PM!

Carol: And I can smell that cheap ass Ross Cologne!

BF: Ay, ay you good baby- You need a raise!

BF: But uh let me get that uh...

BF: And a chocolate shake

BF: Yeah- Yeah lemme get a chocolate shake

BF: You know I want a chocolate shake since you know everything

BF: Yeah le- lemme- a- add a-

Carol: BOYFRIEND IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS TO THIS WINDOW AND STOP PLAYING WITH ME! I JUST CLOCKED IN!

Carol: AND YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT, YOU DON'T DRINK NO MILK!

Carol: FUCK!

Carol: TWELVE SEVENTY EIGHT, PULL UP TO THIS WINDOW!

BF: Ay you good

Carol: DAMN!

OSDIFJDF HELP,,,,,

[mydisasteracademia]

Random Shigaraki Headcanons

This boi. This grubby boi. I love him so much but at the same time he would probably literally dust me so... (oof this one kinda dragged on and on... lol)

Literally has no idea about real-life relationship dynamics outside of what he’s observed in his own parents, in Sensei, and in Kurogiri. All he thinks in the beginning is that people who claim to love you will stand by and let you be hurt, that villains took care of him better than any damn hero, and that he can only truly rely on himself. (And Sensei.)

It takes a loooooooong time of interacting with other people to break himself out of this mindset, and even then, sometimes it comes creeping back if bad things happen.

Getting into canon territory with this one, but really, really, reeeeeeeeally hates heroes because they didn’t even bother to help him when he was going through a whole mental breakdown. Literally one of the only reasons he hates them so much. I know this is pretty much canon, but I doubt he would ever grasp Stain’s ideology of ‘maybe some are good’ because in his eyes, not even the underground pro heroes even bothered to see if he was okay. Remember the scene from the manga with the old lady when he was a child? Yeah. There were bound to be heroes he bumped into, even off-duty ones, and nobody even gave him another glance.

Has extremely bad abandonment issues. If he likes you, he’s gonna want to keep you because he didn’t really have anything nice to call his own while growing up, and Sensei kept him fairly isolated so he literally tolerates nobody else other than him and Kurogiri at first. Reacts horribly when his friends want to break off the friendship. Goes through a whole depressive episode for a while, his old insecurities pop back up, and he really thinks he’s worse than trash and not worth anyone’s time or attention for a while. Prime time for Sensei to further twist his mind.

On that same note, if you’re dating, for the love of everything still good in this world do not break his heart. He will never forgive you. Literally will go to the grave before he forgives you for doing what you did (whether it be cheating on him or completely dropping him like a hot potato). Although this might also extend to little issues that make him feel like you don’t love him enough, he’ll forgive you if you show him plenty of attention and apologize for whatever he was upset over. If you cannot remain patient through his toxic mindsets, it’s best not to get into a relationship in the first place with him if you want to still remain friends afterward, because breaking it off means instant heartbreak.

Anyway! Back to happier, funnier hcs!!

The whole embodiment of the “Wears black in summer because I look good and am willing to suffer” vine. Will not give up his comfy black shirt and sweats for anything because yes, he does look good in black, and yes, he is willing to suffer. He’ll switch to a v-neck tee though. Even he’s not that masochistic.

Really prone to dry skin. I know that’s canon, but just... this poor man can’t keep moisturized to save his own life. Constantly has to apply a special moisturizer that’s specifically made for ultra-sensitive skin and has no scents whatsoever.

Will gripe about having to spend so much money on ointment and moisturizer for both him and Dabi. It’s one of the very few things they bond over, other than having a shitty father and pushover family... and their hatred of All Might.

Shigaraki 100% would be Dabi’s alibi if he actually managed to kill Endeavor. When it comes to the shitty dad club, he’s a fuckin’ ride-or-die.

Kinda sensitive over the fact that both he and Midoriya have the same sort of red shoes, but he loves his pair too much to throw them out. Purposefully aims for Midoriya’s shoes every single time they meet each other on the off chance that they get ruined enough for him to get different shoes, unknowing that he literally can’t just... get differently-colored shoes due to him being originally Quirkless (yes, The Shoes™ theory strikes again)

Literally never forgets a single thing about people he cares about. He’s the type of person who will remember every single thing you tell him about yourself, and especially birthdays. While he doesn’t exactly show his affection very loudly, he would be the type of person who tell you “happy birthday” on the day of as soon as he first sees you, and would treat you a little nicer all day that day.

This boy just has the biggest, scarred heart for his ‘good crowd’. I cannot stress enough just how much like Midoriya he could’ve turned out if he hadn’t been abandoned by society. This mf would give the green bean a run for his motherfuckin money.

“I really just hate the world and everything in it... except for you, maybe I could make an exception for you because you’re nice to me and I appreciate your company too much”

Even though I hc quite a few League members to be like cats when it comes to affection, Shigaraki’s spirit animal is a cat. Likes to lounge about in off-moments, slow to affection and very quick to remember exactly how people treat him, yet if he likes you he shows affection quietly enough that it’s not obvious at first. Like “oh, you’re in the same room as me. It’s not like I missed you or anything, me sitting right next to you at the bar when it’s totally empty means nothing. The fact that I’m looking right at you when you’re talking doesn’t mean I like you.”

LOVES HUGS. If you hug him and he likes you, you’ve probably made his whole day. Depending on how things are going, probably his whole fucking week. Just please hug him, he needs positive affection so bad

Major tsun-tsun. The most tsun-tsun. Grumpy until you get to know him, and if he likes you he’ll show you in little ways: listening to your ideas more, letting you stay closer for longer, maybe getting you something like food.

AFRAID OF TOUCH. I REPEAT, AFRAID OF TOUCH. Not from anyone he likes, of course; this baby is so touch-starved that he deserves a thousand hugs. But if he likes you, he will not initiate physical affection because he’s so afraid of accidentally dusting you. The memories of his family dying (except for his father, because #FuckKotaro2k21) haunt him almost every time he dreams (and if that doesn’t, then other traumatizing events certainly do), and he absolutely would not forgive himself if he dusted his favorite League member/civilian.

Definitely likens the rest of the League to his MVPs after a while of knowing them. Knowing how he operates, it’s adorable.

Would begrudgingly let Toga play around with his hair. I can just see him sitting blank-faced, staring at the mirror as she talks about whatever while brushing and braiding it into a cute plait. He would be hesitant to undo her hard work afterward, no matter how much he grouches that it “ruins his boss vibe”.

The kind of person to go to McDonalds at 3 AM just because he was craving chicken nuggets and ranch. Yes, ranch. He’s an old-school mf who don’t got no time for no barbecue.

Gets really irritated over Toga mooning over Uraraka and Midoriya, but doesn’t stop her from talking about how much she wants to ‘be’ them. (Encourages homicide. Advises homicide. Spinner has to stop her from actually getting ready to commit homicide.)

Disgruntled™

G L O A T S about the time he took away Overhaul’s chance to use his Quirk. “Yeah, we would’ve been satisfied with Compress taking his left arm away to be petty, but then Overhaul had to be a sentient piece of dick cheese, and well, y’know I couldn’t let him get away with that”

It’s becoming a problem. The others have learnt to tune him out once he gets going. Compress just smiles under the mask when he remembers it. Nobody knows what he’s really thinking.

His damn crowning moment. His apex point. There’s no going further beyond that (until he finally defeats Midoriya and takes over Japan as the world’s most feared villain of all time).

“Shigaraki, I’mma let you finish, but AFO still holds the record for being the most infamous villain of all time! Of all time!” <-- let the boy dream okay, he’s been waiting for this moment his whole damn life

Can you tell that I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass? Because I’m still horribly salty over Overhaul being an ass

Chronic emo phase. Hears the G note and just sighs heavily

Has probably seen hentai. Doesn’t really get the appeal of high-pitched feminine screams. Probably more of a tiddy man than an ass man. Just... boobie

His first fictional crush was Aeris/Aerith. Legitimately lost his shit when she died.

Man Crush Monday is Sephiroth all the way. Especially his one-winged angel form. Wanted to cosplay him for Halloween but didn’t because the cosplay was too costly.

Will make “That’s what she said” jokes in the most deadpan voice. At least Mustard kinda snickers at them.

Probably would’ve been pretty patient with Eri. Her traumatic past certainly would’ve pitted her as a kindred spirit with him, and he would think her Quirk would be a powerful asset if used right. Probably would’ve practiced it by destroying something and then telling her to rewind it so that he can break it again.

Shigaraki, holding Eri by her armpits: “I’ve only had her for ten minutes but if anything happened to her I’d dust everyone in the room to make her feel better”

The rest of the League: “???????? Okay?????”

Legitimately holds a powerful grudge against parents who abuse or neglect their children, especially against abusive fathers. Almost as powerful as his hatred for All Might. Will actively go after someone he sees is abusive to their children and will not let them live.

Would probably adopt an orphan after killing their abusive parents. “Oh, that was your dad/mom/parent? Well guess you’re mine now. Let’s go get chicken nuggets, kid”

Might somehow rope Dabi into going abusive-parent-hunting with him during a raid. Takes great pleasure in seeing the guilty party’s horrified, pained look on their face as they slowly dissolve into a pile of ash.

[ecotone99]

[MF] My Family

My family lives together in one house. We don’t go outside much, but we play games and do activities every night. Wednesday nights are the best because that’s when we have Talent Show. My cousins and my brother and me put on skits and sing songs, and then at the end of the night, my dad tells us a story. Sometimes his stories are really scary, like one time he told us a story about a meteor that’s gonna hit Earth, but that we shouldn’t be worried because he’s gonna protect us.

My dad is 55 years old. He met my mom when she was 17, and my grandparents didn’t like that, so they don’t talk to them anymore. They got married in our house, and my uncle was the priest. I was born 7 months later on September 27th. I never met my grandparents because my dad said they don’t count as family. I have one brother named Michael. My brother’s mom met my dad at a shopping mall when she was 16. My dad and her got married in our house. My mom was still pregnant with me, so I didn’t get to see it, but my mom said I was still technically at the wedding. My brother was born 3 months after me on December 31st. His mom said he’s a “New Year’s Baby.”

The other people living in our house are my uncle, his wives, and my cousins. My oldest cousin is four years old. His name is Andrew, and his favorite color is green. He’s my uncle’s first wife’s son. Originally, he was supposed to be twins, but my dad told them they could only keep one, so they picked Andrew. I asked my dad what happened to their other son, and he said he lives on a farm now and that we aren’t allowed to visit him. My aunt said he would’ve been named Jack. My other cousin’s name is Sarah. She’s my uncle and his second wife’s daughter. She’s two years old, and she can’t talk yet. My dad said if she doesn’t start speaking soon, they aren’t allowed to keep her.

...

Last night, my dad called a family meeting and told us we all needed to pack up because the meteor would be here soon. My uncle asked where we were going, and my dad said he had a space ship in the woods, and we’d all board it and go into space. My mom packed my brother and me a bag and said we could take one toy with us.

Since we left for the woods on Wednesday night, my mom said we could have Talent Show in the car. I sang a song my dad wrote when he was younger. My mom really liked it, but my dad told me I had to be quiet so nobody would hear us. My little brother started crying on the way there so his mom gave him some apple juice to make him go to sleep.

We had to walk really far into the woods to get to the spaceship. My feet started to hurt, but my dad said I wasn’t allowed to complain or I wouldn’t get to go to space. We left my brother in the car because he didn’t wake up when we shook him three times.

We got to where my dad said the spaceship was, but it wasn’t there. My uncle started swearing at my dad, so my dad shot him with a gun. Then, he shot my aunts and threw their daughter against a tree. My other cousin ran away into the woods. My mom started crying so my dad hugged her and told her it was going to be okay and that he had a backup plan. He said that our souls could still go into space without a spaceship, we just had to close our eyes and sit in a circle and count backwards from 10. I don’t know why, but my mom stopped counting after she got to seven, and my brother’s mom after she got to six. I kept counting, but I only got to two before my dad put something up to my nose that made me fall asleep.

...

I woke up because I felt water running in my nose. The doctor said I was lucky I didn’t drown because the river was moving so fast. He said my mom and my brother’s mom weren’t so lucky, though. He said the doctors were able to wake up my brother and that he might be able to go home in a few weeks, but we weren’t gonna live with our dad anymore because the police arrested him.

...

I finally got to meet my grandparents. They live in Wyoming on a ranch. I live with them now. It’s really fun. They have lots of animals like goats and chickens. I miss my brother, though. He lives in a special home because he can’t breathe on his own anymore. My grandparents said I get to visit him in the Spring, and if he’s doing better maybe he can come live with us. I asked them if we could visit my dad, but they said it’s not a good idea. They said I’m safe now, and that he can’t get me as long as they’re around.

Grandma tells me stories at night. They’re not as scary as my dad’s stories, and they always have happy endings. I’m really glad grandma and grandpa are in my family again.

submitted by /u/webkinzboyaj [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2JYhMkG

[the-book-queen]

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