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midasinc · 2 years

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modern combeferre/marius:

im trying to write a pwp for this but im having writer's block so let's do an actual progression of this for fun, yeah?

*this gets overwhelmingly long, so beware*

-combeferre doesn't like marius. from the moment he meets marius he dislikes him. at first it isn't strong- he's introduced as a friend of courfeyrac's and combeferre gives him the benefit of the doubt, but he sees marius open his phone and there's a little preview of the podcast he was listening to: one of those like alpha sigma male talkshow things. it isn't a good first impression. so combeferre decides that marius is annoying and probably mildly sexist and keeps his distance but doesn't feel his eye twitch whenever marius enters the room

-and then he meets marius a second time, in the context of marius attending a meeting. it goes downhill severely from then on

-so combeferre thinks marius is the worst, and marius is terrified of combeferre. they keep their distances from each other.

-then there's this fateful day when combeferre has downtime and he's sort of splayed out on his couch swiping through his dating app when he pauses with one of his matches. the guy is two years younger than him, is the epitome of a twunk with insane v-lines, likes to play solitaire and board games and card games (combeferre is thinking about how cute that is and keeps swiping through photos), and horrifyingly enough is The Marius Pontmercy- revealed once he reaches the last selfie and notices the name on the profile. combeferre almost drops his phone in horror. he actually does, right after implicitly swiping right

-combeferre doesn't text him, no, but he swipes. that's enough. he's mortified. first of all, he's trying to process why The Marius Pontmercy is on a gay dating app. it's baffling. second of all, he's trying to process how he could possibly have matched with someone who listens to sigma male podcasts. lastly, he's trying to process how marius has insane fucking cum gutters and why he even bothers wearing a shirt if he's built like that

-combeferre doesn't text him. he won't. but he also doesn't sleep at night and lays on his side in bed staring at that photo of marius's cum gutters

-there's a point at around 3am when combeferre gets a notification that marius swiped on him too. and neither of them have sent a message. jesus christ.

-combeferre goes about his life trying to pretend like he isn't fantasizing about the worst person ever (who is even worse because combeferre is weirdly attracted to him). he goes to work, he goes to night school, he plans a meeting, and he doesn't text marius.

-after about a week, he decides to investigate. maybe it ISNT The Marius Pontmercy. it isnt like marius is an uncommon name. plus, a lot of twunks look the same. so he goes detective mode on the profile. combeferre carefully swipes and investigates each photo. the evidence he picks up is painfully not on his side

-one photo has courfeyrac's bong in the background, the same yellowed-bong with a crack down the pipe. the shirtless photo of just below his collarbones down to the tops of his briefs shows a birthmark on the inside of his arm. marius has that too. jesus christ. combeferre can't even debate the last photo. it's a selfie.

-combeferre just goes to the meeting sexually frustrated and aggravated that marius has to be such a fucking loser with good cum gutters. it's a waste of muscle definition. how often does he work out to look like that? what sort of exercises would achieve that, with his sweat dripping down his back and-

-he shakes his head and gives himself a tiny little slap on both cheeks and sits lower in his chair. his list of options should not be this low that he's actually thinking about marius like this.

-courfeyrac is trying once again to get marius out there to make friends and maybe... not be a walking and talking advertisement for modern day capitalism and billionaire apologists. he's sat him down across the room with some of the milder members in hopes of integrating him and slowly converting him. marius is sweating a lil bc he's still thinking about what happened last time and what it was like to have combeferre's icy stare from across the room

-the stare is still there, but this time it's different. marius swallows hard and looks down at the table because he's absolutely terrified of combeferre in a way that unfortunately turns him on.

-he had been in the middle of working on a paper for grad school when his phone chimed that he had gotten a new match on the dating app he'd secretly downloaded in a moment of weakness. weakness being marius's full acceptance of his bisexuality and his dry spell. there were really only so many times a person could get off in a day without it getting a little pathetic. so marius had picked up his phone and decided to take a break from his paper

-with his blue-light glasses up on top his head, marius strolled to the kitchen he and courfeyrac shared and grabbed a beer from the fridge. he's popped off the top and is taking a sip when he's scrolling through his matches and finds the new one.

-he almost chokes when he reads the name

-marius does some snooping and drinks from his beer as he looks over combeferre's profile. he doesn't have many revealing photos, just simple candid photos and travel photos. he enjoys science fiction and activism (marius has no idea why he'd put that on a dating profile, combeferre's "activism" was more equip to terrorizing the government until france became either an anarchist state or a totalitarian-communist one. neither was a good look for getting a date, in his opinion. who wants to pick up their boyfriend from jail every week?). he was into guys that can hold a debate. when he wasn't giving marius a disdained look, he had a really nice smile

-combeferre swiped on him, but hadn't said a word. very cautiously, marius swipes on him too.

-when courfeyrac drags him to the next meeting, marius avoids combeferre's gaze and wonders why he had swiped. was it a mistake? combeferre most certainly knew marius swiped back, though. was he going to talk to him about it? god forbid. marius would just start sweating more

-combeferre, on the other hand, is furious that marius is here. about 15% of his rage is from the fact that marius is a loser. the other 85% is from his sexual frustration. he taps his fingers on the table very hard as courfeyrac reads the minutes from the prior meeting, trying to instead pay attention to the agenda and all that. it works well enough.

-around the middle of the meeting, combeferre hears marius laugh at something joly says. it isn't anything crazy- grantaire has been a bigger distraction in the past- but something in him snaps. combeferre clears his throat and stares at him from his own seat

-"if you're not going to pay attention, just go. you're distracting everyone else. we're fine without you."

-marius's face goes red almost immediately. courfeyrac puts his head in his hands from the corner and even enjolras is like "hey dude cool it". he's never been snappy at members before. combeferre doesn't know why it made him so angry to hear him laugh. he does. he knows.

-with shaking hands, he types out a message: "go to the bathroom"

-combeferre can't tell if marius gets up to actually leave or not. joly seems to be trying to convince him to stay but he's already briskly leaving the room with the tips of his ears burning red. enjolras gives combeferre a little look before suggesting he go apologize, referring to marius as a "work in progress" and not an enemy

-combeferre heads straight for the bathroom. if marius isn't there, fine. he's splash some cold water on his face and cool off and get over himself. if marius isn't there, he'll get over everything.

-if marius isn't there, then his life will go on as normal and combeferre will be fine.

-if marius is not in the bathroom, it will be fine.

-combeferre pushes through the bathroom door like a linebacker

-marius is in the bathroom

-really, what had been going on in marius's mind was that he was so embarrassed that he went to the bathroom to calm down before either returning to the meeting or leaving. he was planning on what to decide when he saw the notification. marius's mouth went dry- what did that mean? "go to the bathroom". did combeferre want to fight him? what? was marius about to die? why did that turn him on?

-in the middle of staring it (and feeling his nervous sweat return), the door burst back open. marius's phone clatters down to the bathroom floor in surprise as combeferre almost storms in. his eyes give the appearance of him being just as surprised as marius.

-there is no fight-or-flight reaction that ricochets through his body. marius's impulses remain as his cock thumping slightly against his thigh as combeferre gets up in his personal space and then just stares at him, like he didn't really plan past this point. but then there's a hand that roughly grabs the scruff of his neck and marius kind of turns into puddy

-at this point he doubts this is a fight and he indulges in what is probably a fear kink and places a soft little kiss at the corner of combeferre's mouth. there's a pause of hesitancy from both parties before they both sort of crash back into each other. combeferre's fist tightens and loosens its grip rhythmically in his hair as they make out, blindly looking for the lock on the door

-combeferre turns around to fumble with the door while marius is pressing these impatient and desperate little kisses all over his neck. he just grits his teeth and mutters a little "why are you so fucking stupid" and marius just makes a little pathetic noise and bites down on his throat

-there's a lot of backing up and shoving and pushing and grabbing and combeferre has an iron grip on marius's side as he kisses and bites and hates this fucking dude. marius is just there along for the ride- he's terrified and turned on and keeps rutting up against combeferre's hip until he has enough mercy to shove a hand down marius's sweatpants to jerk him off

-the whole thing is very aggressive. and angry. full of muttered comments like "i cant fucking stand you" and "then why are you here"

-combeferre's fingers only release their grip on marius's hips when marius begins to fumble with combeferre's zipper and yanking down his trousers as he gets down on his knees. that's around the time his claw-like grip moves to marius's shoulder, and continues to yank in his hair. all marius does is make his pathetic little noises and continue

-courfeyrac notices the bruising on marius two nights later, asking what fucking zombie he made out with. marius just gets really blushy and retires to bed to avoid answering any questions

-they don't text, they don't talk. they simply simmer in a pot of shame and arousal. combeferre wants to bang his head against the wall for jerking off marius and getting blown in a public restroom when he knew it was a bad idea and marius has no idea how to explain to courfeyrac that the dark bruises are from his mild-mannered friend

-enjolras notices combeferre being weird one afternoon when they're hanging out. he's been preparing homemade jams from a new hobby he'd picked up on recently and combeferre is sitting at his kitchen table, silently picking at his cuticles. he had been working on an article, but discarded it only half an hour in to glare at enjolras's kitchen wall

-so he sets aside the orange he's been slicing up for a marmalade and waits a moment for combeferre to glance in his direction

-"what happened?" / "nothing happened" / "something happened. what's wrong?"

-combeferre just chews at a hangnail and sighs. enjolras sets down his knife and brings an orange slice over for him to chew on instead. combeferre takes it quietly before saying something garbled around his orange. enjolras asks him to repeat it and combeferre takes the rind out from his mouth and swallows

-"marius pontmercy sucked me off"

-enjolras blinks in surprise, mouth slightly agape, before he swallows. "courfeyrac's marius pontmercy?" / "which other one is there?"

-there's a beat of silence before enjolras has a million questions. he thought combeferre didn't like marius. when did it happen? marius is gay? (no he's bisexual) marius really did that? (...i jerked him off before he did it) you did what?

-combeferre makes a little groan of distress before mumbling to himself and scrolling through his phone to find the photo of marius's v-line, then shoving it in enjolras's face. enjolras takes the phone in confusion but then there's a flash of awe for a moment before he goes "ah. ah."

-they talk about it for a little bit. combeferre's anger and guilt. marius kind of sucking as a person ("he's not totally awful" / "enj he listens to [insert podcast name here]" / "jesus, yeah... but he can improve"). then marius being on a gay dating app in the first place. marius having cum gutters. enjolras says that he probably shouldn't just ignore marius. combeferre groans dramatically and asks him to stop being reasonable

-marius on the other hand is pressing on his bruises to make them hurt again which is... something he files away in his mind to think about later. but his grad school paper is open on his laptop and marius is spinning around in his chair because his mind is in other places. his mind is on the backburner, it's already clocked out- marius is thinking with his dick. his wiener is doing all the thinking when he pulls out his phone and pulls down his sweats a bit to snap a photo of the dark bruising on his hips. and he sends it to combeferre.

-and he spins around in his little chair. until his phone lights up in the dark with a notification. marius immediately stops and picks it up to see combeferre having liked his photo. that's a good sign, right?

-either way, he goes to work the next morning with a skip in his step. marius works at an old folk's entertainment center. he does bingo, he helps organize lunch and snacks, he plays double solitaire with the old priest who likes to pretend like marius might win before knocking his ass out of the park. it's around closing when he gets a text from courfeyrac asking if he wants to come to his trivia night

-marius is a little unsure. courfeyrac's trivia group is small and more intimate than group meetings with twenty-odd people. and not to mention... combeferre was a party member. that terrifies him a little, but he texts back that he'll try to make it

-so marius and his coworkers try to close quickly and he leaves for the pub without even changing clothes. by the time he arrives, everybody seems to be settling in and their respective tables and corners of the bar when courfeyrac spots him and waves him over with a grin

-he's practically yanked from where he stands into their little booth, teased for his little nametag and his "golfer clothes" (marius doesn't really get that- he's just dressed respectfully for work). courfeyrac's trivia group consists of enjolras, combeferre, the guy with a glass eye who marius thinks name is feuilly, another guy named jp who insists on speaking in an accent that would seem to hint at him being from quebec (but courfeyrac told marius he was born and raised in paris- the accent was a new and random development), and courfeyrac himself

-combeferre sits between enjolras and the guy with the glass eye and has his gaze focused on the notepad in front of him, where he's doodling little bugs instead of paying attention to marius. he's a little aggravated by this- marius wants his attention on him. he wants combeferre to glare at him and send that weird chill down his spine.

-it doesn't matter, though, because by the time courfeyrac comes with another beer for marius, the whole event starts anyway and marius just relaxes back with his bottle- not planning to join in

-it's very typical trivia stuff- the main theme of the night is "blast from the past" which could mean anything from 80s pop culture to history facts from various world wars and major events. marius doesn't really get it- isn't all information sort of a blast from the past? how is this trivia any different than if they had a theme-free night? that isn't to say he isn't invested

-all of them sort of have a specific job within the group, he notices. feuilly knows sports and history, combeferre knows science, enjolras knows geography and news, jp knows movies, and courfeyrac does math and pop culture. tonight's seems to weigh heavily on pop culture, so half of them seem either agitated or clueless

-by the break, they're losing pretty badly to some of the other teams and courfeyrac is laughing in a way that almost sounds like crying before he goes up to get another pint for himself. combeferre's notepad is now agitated scribbles as well as little insect drawings. marius thinks he should maybe just sit quietly, but he clears his throat and just goes "are you guys always this bad?" and immediately wants to die from the looks he gets

-enjolras flicks combeferre's elbow a few times before the guy finally looks up at marius (with his face all red, hm) and swallows. "we're on a current losing streak" / "how bad?" / all of them look embarrassed before combeferre sighs and goes "since we started"

-courfeyrac comes back with more beer and marius feels bad for asking, so he ducks his head and waits for the event to continue. it's going pretty bad for a while until they reach a round called "prehistoric playtime". marius is busy pondering what weird dinosaur sex thing that could be when the announcer starts again

-"this card game between two players consists of matching sets and runs until reaching a hundred points- also named after an alcohol."

-enjolras already has his head in his hands, moaning that he doesn't play any "stupid card games" and marius's brow is furrowed because he's placed gin rummy with his grandfather since he was like 7. he mutters the name a few times, too shy to fully say it out loud, before combeferre frowns back and asks him to write it down. so he does. and he's right- so they get the points

-from there it's actually kind of easy. marius writes down answers about dominos and card games and they're actually not doing too bad. there's a question he isn't totally sure about, one about poker, that marius just barely manages to scramble to get correct. he wasn't allowed to play poker at home, but from what he'd read about in the book of card games he owned, he was able to muster up an answer.

-they almost win- only having a non-accounted for member counted as cheating. courfeyrac counts last place on a technical as better than last, though, "because they just hate to see us winning"

-the six of them stay at the pub for a bit afterwards, getting bar snacks and beers. marius sits on the end, still feeling a little awkward and like an outsider, when combeferre comes over and asks him if he'd join their team fr- or at least think about it. marius shifts in his seat and frowns a lil

-"you arent gonna need game trivia that often i dont think" / "yeah, well you don't need science trivia every time either"

-there's a pause where marius thinks about asking him why he's being weirdly tolerable of him today when jp cries out that he found a deck of cards and he wants marius to teach them one of "his old person games"

-so they all shout and drink and laugh and play crazy eights and marius feels kind of nice. he's not used to having friends. and it's... he has this nice warm feeling inside, one that makes him want to shout at his grandfather for saying all of those city folk were wretched and not worthy of his time. marius would rather his time be spent like this any day over staying back at home, isolated

-all of them walk back to the train station together, courfeyrac only letting go of marius's arm that they've hooked together so he can go race jp down the street. combeferre huffs a laugh before slowing his pace. enjolras looks over his shoulder before calling out to feuilly (feuilly? at this point, marius has to stick with it. he's not sure if it's right but he's certain that's what his name is. he should get better at remembering names) and starting a conversation with him

-so it's him and combeferre. and marius does not feel scared like he's used to.

-"courfeyrac says you used to live with your grandfather," combeferre says after a moment.

-marius chews the inside of his cheek. "yeah. i moved out last year for grad school. i got my bachelor's online because he wanted me to stay at home"

-"even as an adult?" combeferre frowns

-he simply nods in return and gets a chunk between his teeth. blood begins to drip into his mouth. "even as an adult. i just don't think he wanted me to be my dad"

-"what do you mean?"

-it's hard to explain. the arguing he remembers as a kid, reading his dad's centrist newsletters, the year his grandfather gained custody of him, hearing complaints about centrists and leftists and all that. being around all of it made marius want to be a pure centrist like his father. the year his father died. his grandfather thinking that university would scramble his brains, that he could get a job in the family without a fancy degree. he tries to explain all of this to combeferre who doesn't seem to quite get it.

-that's fine, marius decides. there wasn't much to get anyway

-finally combeferre swallows hard. "i think you should keep coming to the meetings" which is surprising, because the few times marius had actually gone, he'd either been ostracized or laughed at. not to mention, combeferre always seemed furious himself when marius went. not that marius minded, of course

-he says he'll think about it and then thinks a little harder about what combeferre's trying to do. he's trying to justify whatever he feels for marius, he guesses. marius knows combeferre doesn't like him, not as a person. he wants to have sex with him but feels guilty and is trying to somehow justify it by "saving marius". marius doesn't feel like he needs to be saved, but he can at least throw him a bone

-so he turns to combeferre and says "courfeyrac is gonna go home with jp tonight. you can come over if you want."

-marius could guess that first part just from the way the two were down the street and swinging around lamp posts. that usually meant they were gonna go to jp's apartment, smoke a bowl, and fall asleep on the floor

-but combeferre thinks this over carefully before nodding and taking a train home with marius.

-combeferre isn't sure what he expects marius's room to look like. part of him hasn't thought about it at all- marius kind of existed in a liminal space in his mind. but marius's room is neat and has shelves covered in model planes. they're all intricate and hand-painted and marius doesn't seem to care much about combeferre looking around

-so he does- looking over the books on his shelf and a stack of old cds and a picture frame on his nightstand with a photo of a small boy with a shock of dark hair holding the hand of a man crouched down with him as they feed ducks

-that seems to spur something in marius, at least, because he gets up and distracts combeferre by kissing him and sneakily taking the photo from his hand, setting it back down on the nightstand. they kiss for a while before combeferre starts pulling at the hem of marius's shirt- so he removes it. combeferre's finger's immediately go to the bruises on his shoulders. there's a moment where he's swooping in at a weird angle and marius begins to wonder if he's about to reveal that he's a vampire or something, but then combeferre bites at the bruise and OH!

-that's the combeferre marius likes- the one that hurts and isn't trying to recruit him for some weird terrorist group. marius hopes he breaks skin, he hopes he can see the bite scab over

-they fuck. angrily. it's what they do best, really. combeferre leaves an array of bites and bruises between marius's thighs and on his chest and lines of scratches travel from combeferre's shoulders down to the small of his back. marius thought with his wiener and was granted his wish

-but afterwards it's a little weird. they don't really have an etiquette here. marius can tell combeferre doesn't really know what to do when they're done. he's sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheets between his fists, grabbing them tightly and then letting go over and over again

-"you can stay if you want," marius says. "it's really not that weird. the shower is down the hall"

-there's another pause before combeferre gets up. marius thinks he's probably leaving- his stupid guilt and all, or whatever- but then there's the sound of the shower running and marius falls asleep without thinking about it any further

-but then there's a point at ten til five in the morning when marius wakes up to courfeyrac three inches away from his face. marius startles and courfeyrac only frowns

-"why the fuck is combeferre in my bed? and god your room reeks!"

-he goes and opens the window in his room, therefore letting in a freezing cold draft before he scoots into the bed after him. marius considers telling him that a few hours ago, he was having sex on these sheets, but he's too tired. courfeyrac seems not to care

-"so what's going on with that, huh?"

-marius just mumbles back a soft "why dont you just sleep in your own bed?" / "combeferre kicks in his sleep. did you guys fuck?" / "yeah" / "hm"

-courfeyrac thankfully lets him go to sleep after that

-combeferre tries leaving early in the morning, but marius is already awake with a cup of coffee at the table, playing a game of solitaire with cards on the table. he says there's still coffee in the pot if combeferre wants any. he feels like he should leave while he can, but god he could use some coffee. so he finds a mug to pour it in and takes a seat at the table. marius doesn't really say much. he just sits with his hair all mussed from sleep and a couple scattered pimple patches shaped like stars, playing solitaire

-combeferre clears his throat and points at some cards "you can move your five right there"

-marius hums and does just that. "my grandfather always said that if you were lost in the middle of nowhere with just a pack of cards, start playing solitaire and a person will appear behind you to point at a move to make." he goes quiet again and twitches his nose. "we don't have to date, you know. we can just have sex. you don't need to force yourself to like me"

-combeferre thinks for a hard, long moment, and then nods. and then shakes his head. "i'm not forcing myself to like you. i already do, that's the problem."

-"problem," marius repeats, putting a new set of cards down and sighing when he has no moves to make

-"not problem. just, something i wasn't expecting."

-still probably not a great answer, by the way marius reacts. he flips a two and puts it over a matching ace before clearing his throat. "let's just stay casual right now. we don't have to be serious."

-and he already seems set on that, so combeferre sighs and agrees to do so

-casual means they don't really talk or text, but they're in the same circle. marius goes to their trivia nights, but he rarely goes to meetings. casual means they meet up to have sex and it isn't weird to spend the night. combeferre becomes well acquainted with marius's shower products and the smell of marius using his own shampoo when they're at combeferre's apartment. casual means marius knows combeferre's coffee order for the morning-after and combeferre knows how to make him come in under a minute, but they dont ask how the other's day was

-marius has potential, just like enjolras had said. there's layers to him. he does genuinely believe in a lot of things combeferre would agree with (just a little less extreme), he just also focuses heavily on economic perspectives because of his background and the echo chambers he grew up with. marius is not necessarily a bad person for listening to the weird sigma male podcasts, he's listening to male figures he's been raised to trust.

-they debate a few times post sex. it's their most vulnerable state as a pair- being both tired and riled up and able to talk and listen to each other. marius says he likes those guys because it's a symbol of masculinity he always felt like he was lacking, that it's a good mindset for him to have to try and become better. combeferre argues that although yea they can seem like tough masculine dudes, a lot of their views are based heavily in sexism. they go back and forth for a little while until marius dozes off. combeferre jokingly makes a list of better podcasts to listen to on a sticky note and leaves it on marius's phone

-he doesn't expect him to actually listen. he doesn't expect courfeyrac to try and play music on their tv with marius's phone and see one of the podcasts he recommended pop up from what he was listening to last. combeferre isn't sure why that's what does it for him, but then he finally comes to a conclusion

-combeferre isn't good at casual. he can't be, because maybe he actually likes marius. with his star-shaped pimple patches and solitaire and his complaints of a grad school paper that he can't ever seem to finish. combeferre isn't good at casual, because maybe for the first time he wants more than sex and he's aware of it

-there are a few times where he thinks about bringing it up. combeferre always kind of feels a little sentimental after sex; why not, right? but marius seems to shy away from the conversation. he's either hungry or tired or wants to shower and combeferre ends up chickening out anyway

-but then there's one afternoon when they're at combeferre's apartment. it's one of those soft after moments when they've finally cooled down- marius is playing with combeferre's chest hair and laying a hand comfortably against combeferre's cock. it isn't a sexual touch, not really. he's just subconsciously playing with him. combeferre could fall asleep if he wanted to. he could fall asleep, or he could tell marius. it would be so easy, so easy to just tell him how much he likes all of this. it would be so easy to just-

-and marius is clearing his throat to speak

-"i think ive met someone; i wanna see where it goes. and... i, i dunno. i thought we could just do this one last time."

-combeferre says "okay" before he's fully processed what marius is saying. marius asks if they're cool and he says yeah. they weren't a thing to begin with, there's no reason why combeferre wouldn't be cool with this. it was casual, nothing more

-but he does spend the rest of the afternoon at enjolras's apartment, curled up on his couch while enjolras makes jam with the excuse of the plumber fixing his sink. he gets up eventually when enjolras wants to try out this rhubarb jelly that he's had sitting for a few days now. they stand together in his kitchen, spreading jelly on toast when combeferre decides to tell him

-"he said he met somebody," combeferre says softly, knife scraping against the burnt part of the bread

-enjolras looks over at him. "so do we like marius now?" / "a little bit." / "i'm sorry, then. are you okay?" / "i don't know"

-both of them bite into the toast at the same time and pinch their faces. the jelly is too sour.

-being friends with courfeyrac has its merits and downfalls. he gets a lot of sympathy from him ("marius is so hardheaded, he did you so dirty im sorry man"), but a lot of unwanted updates ("they're kinda cute, she comes over all the time and they watch old 50s movies. they're like two old people in 25 year old bodies")

-it also sucks when he comes to trivia now. it was casual, things between them were cool. but now marius won't go into the bathroom with him during breaks to blow off steam and hardly talks to him. it's not his fault, really. combeferre won't talk to him either

-it doesn't help when he sees marius's girlfriend and he can confirm that she's pretty. it doesn't make him feel better when they seem cute and happy together. combeferre doesn't like that it's easier for her to keep his attention, he doesn't like that what they have isn't casual

-so he mopes and eats enjolras's jams and jellies straight from the jar until enjolras thwacks him with a wooden spoon and yaps at him to stop

-combeferre tries dating again, he has hookups and first dates and they all bore him. horribly. he shouldn't be hung up on a centrist of all people, what was his life coming to? the great men of the past would be so disappointed in him

-and then there's a day a few months later, a fateful day, when he's on his lunch break and eats out with courfeyrac before his friend says they have to get extra takeout

-"why?" / "marius is really heartbroken, i need to give him one less reason to ckkkkkhhhh- (courfeyrac slides his finger across his throat)" / "why is he heartbroken?" / "his girlfriend broke up with him yesterday. she said he was too serious, or something. that it was moving too fast."

-which is ironic, combeferre thinks, considering everything. but he goes with courfeyrac to deliver the takeout to the old people's rec center. he'd never been- combeferre doesn't exactly have any elderly friends and 'casual' never meant visiting the other at work, so he's not sure what to expect

-it's a little comfy and cozy with lots of chairs and tables and activities and games. courfeyrac finds his way over to a corner where marius is playing chess with an old man. he smiles when he sees courfeyrac and immediately drops it when he notices combeferre with him. ouch.

-courfeyrac gives him a lil hug and the food and chats with the two for a bit with his hands on his hips before he takes over marius's spot in the chess game. good thing the other two members of the party aren't in an awkward spot, right. right?

-marius stands off to the side with him while courfeyrac plays. it's dead silent until combeferre murmurs that courfeyrac has a thing about chess, that he's nationally ranked. marius says back that he knows. he was dragged to a tournament last year and made a sign not knowing that it isn't a cheering sort of event. the thought of marius in an otherwise silent room with a big sign in support of his friend makes him huff a laugh

-"i guess you heard, then" / "heard what?" / "about me and cosette"

-so that was her name. combeferre perhaps didn't learn it out of some weird spite. he ends up nodding, but marius says nothing in return

-"are you okay?" he ends up asking, watching marius shrug. / "i don't know. i kind of wish she had yelled at me instead of being nice. i'd feel better about... feeling, i guess" / "i thought alpha males weren't supposed to be sad over girls"

-marius smiles, remarkably. "oh i dunno, i don't really listen to those guys. they are sexist assholes, after all." he gives combeferre a look before saying "i only listen to podcasts hosted by communist guys with gages."

-he snorts in return with a roll of the eyes. a check of his watch makes combeferre say he needs to head back to work. something possess him, though. something evil that makes combeferre bump marius shoulder, something evil that makes him say "I'm here if you need me, man."

-and then he leaves

-combeferre realizes on the train back that it sounds like he was coming onto him, that it sounds like he was directly attempting to instigate what they used to do. he and marius weren't friends, trying to be friendly in this context did not make sense for them. marius was going to think he was a horrible person who was trying to fuck. and yes, combeferre would like for that to happen again, but he doesn't want to be the guy who takes advantage of someone's emotionally vulnerable state

-when he goes home he throws his bag onto the floor bc GOD he's so frustrated with himself. and then his phone buzzes- it's probably just enjolras sending him screenshots of how well his online jam-making blog is doing. combeferre opens it with an sigh and pauses when he sees it's from a dating app, one that he had no success on recently

-marius.p1997: Can I come over?

-great. so he really was going to take advantage of someone's emotionally vulnerable state. combeferre decides to text him back in aggravation that, sure he could come over, but picks his moral code over his dick and will instead explain to marius that he meant to just be a good dude and wasn't asking him to fuck

-he buzzes marius into the apartment half an hour later, and despite the fact that he cleaned his apartment and brushed his teeth, combeferre is a good person and was going to take no sexual advances from marius

-even after all that, he's not really expecting marius to stand awkwardly in his doorframe and reach out for a second before dropping his hand. "can we... just talk, or something?"

-combeferre has never felt more relieved in his life. god was not choosing to test him this evening.

-"yeah, of course. have you eaten dinner?" / "no" / "me neither, cmon in"

-thankfully marius has no complaint about noshing with the various leftovers in combeferre's fridge, though upon opening he quietly asks about the 7 jars of jam in his fridge

-"enjolras is going through a phase. he's dropping them off at everyone's apartments like santa. you can take some if you want."

-marius window-shops through his jam collection as combeferre pulls out pasta salads and pastas and rice and... wow combeferre never realized his diet was 90% carbs before, but he's kind of impressed with himself. if he ever needed to run a marathon, he'd be totally prepared

-they end up sitting on his couch, both holding some form of pasta and not really watching the movie combeferre put on. after a while he clears his throat and sets his fork down

-"so what's up? what did you want to talk about?"

-marius pushes around what is probably three-week old orzo and scrunches up his nose. "i don't know. it's weird. i just wanted to be a good boyfriend so bad but everything i did made her not like me. i don't get it." he pauses for a moment before flicking his eyes over to combeferre. "you said awhile back that you liked me- why?"

-i still do, is what combeferre thinks, but chooses not to say. instead he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "i dunno. i thought you were a dumbass, but in an endearing way. but you actually are smart, you just act like a dumbass sometimes. i liked that you let me bruise you. and you like old people hobbies and you make model planes and come to our trivia nights and that you actually listened to the podcasts i recommend and bring courfeyrac signs at his chess tournaments and that you wear polos and sweater vests nonironically.”

-marius looks down at his polo and then back up at combeferre. “you didn’t know about the chess thing until today,” he says with a frown

-and fuck. because now combeferre isnt just thinking it. “because i still like you”

-marius turns a little red and looks back down to his orzo (combeferre really should have let him eat something new. he cant even remember when he made the orzo, which is not a good sign) and clears his throat. "i... i'm in love with her"

-yeah. combeferre isn't sure what he expected. but he smiles empathetically and nods. "i'm sorry, then- that she broke up with you"

-marius begins to actually talk to him after that. he tells combeferre about the breakup and how much it's fucking with marius. how he knew it was fucked up to feel like he was required to settle down with a girl in order to be a man despite being bisexual, but still felt that way because of some internalized homophobia. how he worries that the his love for cosette is subconsciously fueled by that. how his grandfather is writing him again and offering him money to come back home. how marius has so much debt that thinking about it for too long makes him cry. how crying feels pathetic because dudes arent supposed to cry. how he knows that isn't true but it's still hard. how he's an asshole and it feels like he can never be a better person. how he wants to be one

-it's a lot. it isn't really why combeferre brushed his teeth earlier and that's a little embarrassing (he's not perfect either, he hopes marius knows that), but combeferre initially minored in psychology before med school so he's fairly used to being the therapy friend. he listens and nods and talks when marius wants him to. it's interesting, really, to hear marius talk and be a real person. a real person with real fears and flaws and self-awareness that he wasn't really sure marius had at times

-"it's just so... so difficult to try and be friends with all of you," marius says at one point with very glassy eyes. "because when i try to listen to your podcasts and read the articles you all post, i don't even understand. and it's so frustrating because when i try to ask questions and give my input everybody talks to me like im so stupid and i guess i am, but it feels like im never going to be good enough for any of you. even courfeyrac gives me that look sometimes and it sucks because he's the only person i can call my best friend. i'm making an effort but i really just feel like everybody hates me. even you said it- you think im stupid"

-and that actually makes combeferre step back and think for a moment. because he had said that he thought marius was a dumbass, and he had meant it too. but he couldn't deny that marius had been making an effort at least- he hadn't even known that he read the articles that the lot of them wrote for their newsletter and website

-"im sorry i said that," combeferre says after a minute. "i am, really. i know you were raised in an echo chamber and that really makes it difficult to grow but you really are trying. i wish i had known that sooner." he pauses again before it kinda just slips out- "if you'd like, you can always come here and i can help you try to understand better"

-and combeferre almost smacks his own forehead because he's afraid of how porny that sounds and marius probably already thought combeferre was coming onto him earlier today- and now it sounds like he was doing it again!

-but instead, marius blinks away some tears. "would you really?"

-and combeferre really would.

-it becomes a thing they do. marius comes over once or twice a week and they eat dinner together and combeferre talks to him about what they push for and their perspective. they debate and discuss and combeferre forces himself to be patient and actually try and understand where marius is coming from. he's able to convince marius to come back to meetings after a while, which some find a pleasant surprise. sometimes combeferre gets him to come to help at the volunteer health clinic, if just to help sort paperwork and assist in mostly non-medical situations

-it's weird to have marius be someone whose company he enjoys outside of a sexual setting. but combeferre finds himself genuinely craving their hangouts and appreciates the times when they don't work too. sometimes it's nice to just share a bottle of wine and watch a movie, or learn one of the many card games marius likes, or go out on walks and grab a cup of coffee

-about two or three months later, combeferre is over at courfeyrac and marius's apartment, sitting at the kitchen table and eating toast with one of enjolras's marmalades, watching marius paint the newest addition to his model plane collection. marius is explaining to courfeyrac (who had been very online window shopping for a new winter jacket) about the history of the plane and it being some 1940s australian fighter aircraft when combeferre looks up from his crossword puzzle and rlly just takes in the scene

-he still likes marius, with his colourful pimple patches and model planes and how he comes up to combeferre willingly now with conversational topics that he and enjolras would normally talk about. combeferre likes him more now, really

-"have you been to the museum?" combeferre asks. "the one, like, half an hour outside paris. it's an air and space museum"

-marius shakes his head no, because he's so busy with school that he doesn't travel that much

-"we can go sometime if you want. could just take the bus. you'd like it, i think"

-courfeyrac looks between the two before humming in agreement and smiling a little bit. "yeah. you guys should definitely go. just take the day off, no one will notice. go have fun and eat mediocre museum cafe food. it'll be good for yall"

-marius dots little details on his plane and smiles back, saying that it sounds fun. courfeyrac punches combeferre's shoulder as he's leaving and wishes him good luck and no- his face is not red

-so they go to the museum two days later. it's not a date, combeferre decides, because he didn't explicitly ask marius on a date and cannot assume that there's anything date-ish without clarification. does he feel like clarifying? no. marius has spoken nonstop for the past 40 minutes about aircrafts and combeferre doesn't want to make things weird, because it's fun to hear him babble on about something he likes

-so he makes a point to let marius read all the plaques and asks him questions and enjoys himself. combeferre likes museums. he likes learning new things. he has never been particularly interested in planes and airships, but marius is so excited about the topic that he can't really be bored.

-it takes them four and a half hours before they're satisfied with having seen every inch of the exhibits. combeferre is relieved when they do stop at the restaurant because jfc wandering around museums is an underrated workout and drains your body of fuel. but he smiles and eats as marius continues to talk. it's nice to see how far they've come as friends. marius being terrified of him to now being willing to lean across the table and take a spoonful of his dessert. combeferre thinking he was a total fucking asshole to comfortably allowing marius to steal bites of his dessert

-by the time they're headed home, he's kind of exhausted. it's been a long day. combeferre doesn't really notice when he dozes off, only waking up when marius gently shakes his knee by the time they're back in paris

-combeferre has a moment of "jesus where am i" before blinking a few times and realizing he'd fallen asleep on marius's shoulder. great. that's cool. that's fine. this was not a date- he never asked, and now he's breaking boundaries even in his sleep. awesome. marius doesn't say anything about it, thankfully enough, and is still friendly on their walk back into the city. combeferre gets to his train station and is ready to call it a night and turn in at this point, but marius rocks back and forth on his heels

-"i had a lot of fun," he says with a smile. combeferre smiles back and is thinking about responding when marius then rocks forward and presses a little kiss to combeferre's cheek. "i'll see you later"

-and he sort of jogs off after that

-combeferre misses his train. he's too busy standing at the stairs and holding a hand up to where marius kissed him to think straight

-courfeyrac leaves his bedroom that night for a glass of water when he sees marius sitting at the kitchen table, just anxiously shuffling a deck of cards over and over again. he pauses before padding over and asking if he's feeling alright

-marius anxiously taps his thumbs against the side of the deck and chews the inside of his cheek. he's not sure how to explain

-combeferre is nice to him now. he's not scared of him. even if it was hot at times, marius likes when combeferre is nice to him. he likes that it doesn't feel like justification anymore. combeferre is a friend he tries very hard to keep and he's afraid of losing that. marius has grown quite fond of the their hangouts and likes that being around combeferre makes him be a better person. he's not sure when that turned into something deeper, he only noticed it today

-there was a moment at the museum when marius had spoken for so long that he ran out of breath and needed to take a moment. combeferre had just smiled at him and waited for him to continue. marius isn't sure why he wanted to kiss him in that moment. before, it was because combeferre was a thrill. combeferre made him feel fearful and excited. but in that moment, combeferre just made him feel... comfortable. and it was a very different feeling

-when he'd fallen asleep on him in the bus, marius simply had to sit very still so he wouldn't wake up. the weight of his head on his shoulder was nice. it was a sort of domesticity that marius really craved. it was comfortable- once again

-he probably should have waited afterwards to ask if kissing his cheek was okay. combeferre always talked about consent in small moments like that. he was going to judge marius for forgetting, or even worse he might dislike him now. combeferre used to like him, marius knows that much, but what if that was the last straw?

-marius isn't rlly aware of when he starts shuffling the cards again, but courfeyrac just puts a hand over his own to take the cards out and set them down. he gently rubs at where all of the friction has made marius's hands a little red and irritated and asks if he doesn't feel like speaking

-he shakes his head no and finally collects his thoughts into a single sentence. "i kissed combeferre on the cheek and im afraid he won't be my friend anymore"

-there's a pause before courfeyrac huffs out a laugh. "oh buddy. you're both so fucking weird. how are you so far past the sex phase but both of you are like this?"

-marius gives him a worried look because he doesn't understand and courfeyrac just sighs in amusement and finds lotion in a kitchen drawer to squirt onto marius's chafed hands. "not to ruin all the mystery, but he likes you. you should know this- he didn't stop liking you. still hasn't. i don't think he was thinking you liked him back. god- you guys have had actual sex. i cannot believe both of you guys are so squirmy and anxious at the thought of romance. it's so backwards"

-he rubs in the lotion on his own and frowns down at his lap. "i really want him to think im a good person now"

-courfeyrac gives him a sympathetic smile. "we all think so, you know. you weren't a bad guy before, you just had some room to improve. you needed a little push in the right direction, that was all. the guys like you, seriously" he gives marius a moment to soak that up before wriggling his eyebrows. "so the plane museum had really steamy energy, huh?"

-he only laughs when marius squirms in his seat and goes red

-courfeyrac stays up to talk with him until marius feels less stressed and can go back to bed without feeling like his head is exploding. he lays on his side and thinks, but in a much calmer way. marius just reconsiders his options; he thinks about how he was sure he was in love with cosette and how much it hurt, but how he's learning to get over it. he thinks about he used to really only like how combeferre terrified him, how their sex life was rlly nothing more than sex to him. how that's changed. marius goes to touch a bruise that is long-faded, and misses how it used to ache when he touched it. marius slowly fucks in and out of his fist, thinking about those bruises in a different context. he falls asleep soon after he haphazardly wipes his hand off on a tissue. he doesn't dream

-work the next day is messy. he forgets to clock in, he loses his pen a million times, no one tells him his nametag is upside down until lunch, and his usual companions for games are kicking his ass. marius feels fluttery and unfocused and very badly wants to grab his phone and see if anybody (or one person in particular) has messaged him. his foot keeps bouncing up and down. he's snapping at a rubber band on his wrist. grrrrrr!!!!!! he needs to check his phone. now.

-it's a miracle when he finally gets on his lunch break and scrambles to grab his phone from the office. he's so desperate. so desperate. but as he turns on his phone, he's met with nothing. his shoulders drop a little bit. he's not sure what he was expecting- a love confession wouldn't make sense, but marius had tried making a move. did combeferre think he was just being friendly? courfeyrac and marius kissed cheeks when greeting and all, but they never had before. they hadn't been that close for an extended period. maybe combeferre thought he was just trying it out? marius wants to bang his head on the wall

-but then a notification appears. marius almost jolts with excitement as he switches to his messages. it's not from combeferre- his shoulders dropping once again

-courfeyrac: hey r u trynna go out tonight

-the way courfeyrac texts always stresses him out, but marius's thumbs begin to type back anyway

-marius: Sure. Where would we be going out to?

-courfeyrac wants them to go out to a bar with some other friends and then crash at bahorel's. marius isn't really sure who that is but he recognizes the name from meetings. he then mentions that combeferre might go. and he also asks if marius has any particular shirts that he has no attachment to. hm.

-combeferre gets off work and is immediately requested over by enjolras. they've done this many times before so he's quick to take the train to enjolras's apartment complex rather than his own

-he eats a quick snack of toast and jam as enjolras says in an uninterested manner that courfeyrac wants to go out. combeferre sighs dramatically because depending on who's going, that just means an evening of him helping somebody as they puke into a toilet. combeferre has held back bangs and rubbed the backs of nearly all of his friends. it isn't that he minds, but is that really how he wants to spend his friday?

-combeferre ends up showering and rummaging through enjolras's drawer for clothes to borrow. he ends up accidentally finding something that he straight up thinks is porn, but it's actually one of those farmer's market magazines. combeferre almost pinches his brow at the thought of losing the face of their group to a life of making and selling jams professionally, but if enjolras is happy then he supposes he's happy too

-they head out together to whatever bar address courfeyrac had sent them, talking quietly amongst themselves. combeferre is expecting a normal night. if courfeyrac is planning it then there's likely going to be jp, then combeferre will have fun at least. if grantaire is there, things will get out of control and no one will have fun. he thinks about all the different combinations of people they know and the various outcomes

-he's not expecting to walk into the bar (which is more of a club than a bar. combeferre would say he's underdressed, but he's never dressed up for a bar. if anything, he's just never been a 'sexy dresser') and find marius with courfeyrac, and he's certainly not expecting marius to be wearing a haphazardly cropped polo shirt

-his brain sort of stops working for a moment as he's trying to process this. because first of all, marius usually doesn't go out with their usual groups. he just goes with courfeyrac. second of all, he is wearing a cropped shirt. meaning that combeferre has a direct line of sight to the v-line. he has a visual on marius's cum gutters. and suddenly combeferre is thinking about a myriad of things, but mostly how marius seems so perturbed about the utter nakedness of his lower torso

-he's pulling on the edges of his polo, like they may grow longer, and subconsciously holding an arm around his stomach with a continuous furrow of his brow

-combeferre walks over before he can come up with a real plan and says hello. marius goes red, even in the weird lighting of the bar and says hello back, holding the grip on his exposed skin a little tighter

-"what happened to your shirt?" is what combeferre ends up asking and almost regretting, because now they both know he was thinking about it

-"courfeyrac wanted me to try something new," marius swallows. "so we uh, we cut up my shirt"

-he laughs. "are you not a fan?"

-marius nods, then shakes his head. "it's just weird"

-he takes a moment before shrugging off his jacket and holding it out to him. marius turns even more red as he takes it and pulls it on. bahorel makes an appearance with what has to be a hundred euros worth of shots and a smile on his face, like he wants to watch all of them fall victim to the sheer amount of liquor he got

-combeferre only takes two shots (of tequila, god forbid) because he plans on being a functioning person in the morning. out of the corner of his eye, he watches marius barely choke down one shot before passing his others over to courfeyrac. he's definitely a slow-sipper, combeferre feels something warm in his chest at the thought of the two of them with their wine glasses from nights of the past, but it also might be the tequila settling

-enjolras seems busy talking to bahorel and some stranger who is definitely there to try and get into his pants (and is sorely mistaken about how this night is going to go), so combeferre stays with marius and courfeyrac and watches in amusement as courfeyrac attempts his.... sixth? seventh shot? marius's brow furrows further and pulls the next one out of his hand, seemingly regretful of giving any more to him in the first place

-combeferre smiles to himself. "you guys do this often?"

-"marius is my wingman," courfeyrac says after swallowing down a mouthful of what he hopes is water from a plastic bottle. "he's not a good wingman, but he's a wingman." / marius huffs a laugh and shakes his head. "unfortunately im not really smooth, or good at laying down hints. i usually just say it straight and that never works"

-combeferre tries to apply it to their scenario. he could probably agree that marius never really hinted at things. he sent photos of bruises told him he wanted things casual and said so so plainly that he was going to start seeing someone else. marius never said something to him about his feelings going beyond friendship. the most he'd done, really, was kiss his cheek. was that laying it straight? was that all combeferre needed to confirm things?

-he tries not to stare at marius's stomach throughout the night- still showing with the jacket opened. it's not an easy task. combeferre is hardly even drunk but he feels more so staring at the trail of hair that leads down to marius's trousers. he doesn't get to see that sort of thing anymore and being able to see it now is making his brain go haywire

-enjolras leaves after a while, leaning over combeferre's shoulder and explaining that he's going to a seminar in the morning and wants to turn in early. that leaves the four of them to do what they'd like. bahorel invites everyone to come back to his apartment, which means dragging courfeyrac away from the stranger's he'd been trying to befriend at the bathrooms and successfully managing to get him onto the subway

-by the time they're on bahorel's street, combeferre discovers that the water bottle is most definitely not water from the way he and bahorel are sharing it and laughing down the street

-"is it like this often?" marius asks and clutches combeferre's jacket a little closer around himself as they speed-walk after the other two / "not all the time, but admittedly it's more fun when you're actually drunk" / "so why aren't you, then?"

-combeferre slows his steps for a moment before glancing over. glancing down at marius's stomach. locking his focus on the sky instead. "i didn't feel like being drunk tonight, i guess. there's less regret in the morning"

-it's hard to tell how marius reacts after that, looking in the other direction. he's not sure how he wants marius to react. he knows he'd like him to kiss his cheek again. and then the tip of his dick- but combeferre cringes at his own intrusive thoughts and prays to whatever god is listening that marius cant read minds

-and he really cant. marius furrows his brow at what combeferre says. less to regret? what does he mean by that- is he drawing a line? setting a limit? combeferre must regret going out with him, then. he regrets all of that because marius kissed his cheek. great. awesome.

-marius isn't feeling as social by the time they get to bahorel's. their other friend, grantaire (who marius does know and doesn't understand) shows up not long after they do with a bottle of jack and a chipped front tooth. courfeyrac is immediately fussing and asking what happened. there's some story about tripping on the steps of the liquor store that marius doesn't really pay attention to

-despite feeling antisocial, he plays dealer in a game of blackjack and appreciates that he isn't the only person who isn't extremely drunk. the game goes on until courfeyrac wants to go share a smoke with grantaire on bahorel's balcony, leaving combeferre comfortable enough in bahorel's kitchen to find a jar of peanut butter and a spoon

-"he's also got hazelnut spread- the expensive kind," combeferre says to marius and points at the cabinet. "and almond butter- which is usually what courfeyrac steals from." it's an invitation of sorts, so marius gets up and looks through, not worried about bahorel setting up music on his speaker across the room

-he eventually settles down with the hazelnut spread and leans on the counter with combeferre, dipping a spoon into the surface and letting the sweetness melt on his tongue. "do you guys usually raid his kitchen?"

-combeferre smiles. "bahorel has the best kitchen to raid from. i think he takes pride in it, so he lets us indulge. it's dangerous when we're smoking- i've made the mistake of getting a little too high and eating a bunch of stuff that didn't settle well in my stomach. that night wasn't really fun at all"

-marius isn't sure why the thought of high combeferre is surprising. he seems so mature all the time that marius just doesn't ever seeing him inebriated. it's the same with enjolras- he can't picture him ever drinking or smoking or anything. if marius ever sees him in a state that isn't devastatingly sober, he's sure it'll be the same day that his debt magically disappears

-"do you smoke a lot?" is what he ends up asking / "i used to more in college. right now i work too much to do all the stuff i used to. there's still rolling papers in my nightstand, though"

-marius desperately wishes he'd been able to go to university before now. he wishes he had been able to meet everybody the way they all met. he wonders what a younger combeferre looked like: fresh-faced and still an undergrad. he feels like he'd been robbed of years of friendship with these people, he feels like maybe he wouldn't be such an asshole or an idiot if he had been exposed to the real world earlier

-but he doesn't say any of that, he just sticks another spoonful of hazelnut spread in his mouth

-marius gets to talk to combeferre normally for a little while. there's no speak of kisses or cropped shirts or anything, they just talk like the two normally do. it's both relieving and not- marius wants more. he made that obvious. he's glad they're not talking about it because the thought makes his hands shake for some reason, but he feels like maybe they should. courfeyrac was right- it's fucking weird that marius knows what it feels like to be inside/have combeferre inside of him, but they can't talk about feelings

-but courfeyrac also comes stumbling out of the balcony looking abnormally pale and marius knows what that face means. "where's the bathroom?" marius asks combeferre, who also seems quite intimate with this version of courfeyrac and is already moving to push him down the hallway

-it's a miracle courfeyrac makes it to the toilet before he actually starts hurling. combeferre takes a band off his wrist and collects the front part of courfeyrac's hair to tie back as he vomits. marius squats near him and rubs courfeyrac's back soothingly as combeferre murmurs about some "bottle"

-"it was a mix of vodka, tequila, and gin," courfeyrac says shakily before he gags again and gets back to it. combeferre hums disapprovingly but makes sure there's no hair in his face and has a toilet paper on hand for courfeyrac to wipe his nose

-"you come here often?" marius asks dryly to combeferre. "you seem like a frequent visitor." combeferre cracks a smile / "i've done this a number of times, you?" / "for him? a number of times- like you said"

-courfeyrac chokes on bile as marius continues to rub at his back. combeferre seems to make the same move, their hands accidentally touching. neither pull away- really only pausing to stare at each other. marius doesn't know what to do. he always makes the first move when it comes to them, he always does. but tonight he just pauses, just waits

-combeferre seems to get it, slowly moving their hands so that they lace over courfeyrac's back. marius gives up on the whole making the second move- he just wants to kiss him. he leans forward to cup combeferre's face with his free hand and kiss him. combeferre kisses back, but then pulls away

-"i can't do casual again," he almost pleads. "i can't- i like you. and that's not a problem anymore"

-marius pulls his brows together. "i know" he just kisses combeferre again until courfeyrac spits into the toilet, leans up and snatches the tissue away from combeferre

-"you don't know how thrilled i am about this development," he says with a hoarse voice, "but i really don't need you guys making out on top of me." he wipes his nose and tosses it in the bowl to flush before washing his mouth out at the sink and leaving the two in the bathroom

-marius turns red again as he pulls away and watches the door, but still holds onto combeferre's hand. "and are you gonna regret this? in the morning, i mean"

-the corners of combeferre's mouth turn upward. "no. the only regret i'd have had was if i had been really drunk and too chicken to talk to you all night"

-marius smiles back, and that's enough for him

-"you know courfeyrac has been trying to be your wingman all night, right?" combeferre asks with a wry smile. "i have a feeling that's what all this shirt nonsense is about"

-marius looks down at himself and plays with the hem. "he wanted me to cut up a shirt i didn't really wear. he called it... slutty golfer chic. it's weird- i don't know. it feels-" he cuts himself off with a pinched expression, making combeferre huff a laugh. / "feels what?" / "don't get mad at me for saying this- but it just feels like a type of gay that i am not." combeferre only laughs harder

-"it still looks good, but i get it" / "you think so?" / "...yeah. i think it looks really good"

-grantaire has to beg against the bathroom door for them to leave so he can pee- it isn't an easy task after all the time those two spent worrying over each other, worrying about what would happen

-to combeferre they don't start dating right after that, but to marius they do. the way they set up their timeline has about a month difference. in both of their defense, it was never discussed for a while but it was definitely implied. it sort of explained how marius went from casual friends to very touchy-feely, but combeferre assumes that was just him in a more-than-friends context

-it is a little surprising how touchy marius is. he can understand how cosette may have gotten overwhelmed with him if touch wasn't her love language. but he finds it relaxing, if anything. it reminds him of when they were casual. marius liked to play with his chest hair or his stomach fat or his balls (which combeferre really liked but wasn't sure how to address). he still does, but not just in sexual situations. he likes to scritch-scratch at combeferre's scalp and hold hands and rub the tension out of his shoulders and it's just nice. really really nice

-combeferre is really feeling it one day when they're at a farmer's market. marius needed a break from working on his grad paper and they just decided to go on a walk to clear his head. combeferre is taking a flyer for enjolras when he looks around and spots marius looking at some goat cheese table. he's still wearing his blue-light glasses on top of his head and talking to this salesperson just to talk. combeferre can't explain why he feels it just then, but he folds up the flyer to put in his pocket and walks back over to him with a smile

-they go for coffee after that. combeferre leans against his hand and watches marius stir his iced coffee until it's all one colour and decides to ask "do you want to date for real? like boyfriends?"

-and marius pauses with a frown and sets his coffee down. "were we... not already?"

-and that's when combeferre is both relieved, but also decides they need to better their communication skills.

-they're very domestic in a relationship, but their sex life is aggressive. marius still has a fear/intimidation thing going on, combeferre is willing to oblige. both of them are really into bruises and marking and experimenting! you would not expect them to be as versatile as they are, but jesus these guys like Situations

-it's also funny when marius starts actually paying attention to social justice and activism and begins talking about radically about government issues. it throws everybody off after what he started out saying loudly with no issue. courfeyrac likes to call him a "little sjw with pronouns" as a joke and watch his ears turn red, but combeferre just elbows courfeyrac with a roll of the eyes. let marius be dangerously radical! #charactergrowth

-they're almost four months into a relationship (or five, if you ask marius) when marius asks if combeferre wants to meet his dad. for a moment, he only thinks "it's too early if we break up it'll be weird what if i like his dad what if he hates me what if i hate him what if we like each other and we break up and it's like i have to break up with marius's dad too and-" before he remembers a photograph on marius's nightstand and marius's grandfather and his original centrist position. combeferre slowly nods and asks if it would be okay with him. marius just smiles and says it would

-they take a train early the next morning for a few hours. marius is a little quiet the whole time, so combeferre just takes his hand and lets marius fiddle with his fingers. by noon they stop and grab overpriced sandwiches before marius navigates them to a church and graveyard. combeferre feels a little awkward around the church, but says nothing as they traverse through various graves until they finally reach one with a name combeferre recognizes

-he sits down next to marius on the grass, waiting a moment to see if marius wants to say anything. he doesn't seem to, either having nothing prepared or no way to say it. combeferre is familiar with the feeling, so he clears his throat and says, "hi, m. pontmercy. i'm combeferre- im, uh, im dating your son. he's kind of a dork, but i like him a lot"

-the corners of marius's mouth turn upward. "he'd probably like you. well- im not really sure, but i'd like to think that he'd like you"

-"i hope so," combeferre huffs, "otherwise christmas dinners are going to be really awkward, huh?"

-a bigger smile. marius leans on his shoulder and they sit there for a while before combeferre reaches in his pocket and takes a stone he grabbed from paris before leaving and places it on top of the headstone

-"do you want to meet my dad?" he asks wryly, turning to look at marius. marius gives him a confused look, eyes flicking between him and the grave before nodding. / "yeah, i'd like that"

-combeferre finds a train and a bus connection to where he wants to go and they spend a couple more hours traveling. he finds a pack of travel cards in a station and buys it so marius can teach him something new on the train. it's fun, just playing card games as they wait between connections and during the journey itself. by the time they've arrived, it's beginning to near sunset- combeferre isn't really sure if they'll make it back to paris by morning

-either way, he takes marius's hand and leads him through his dad's hometown before finding the cemetary. it isn't very crowded, but there's leftover visitors from a burial earlier in the day. combeferre takes a moment to orient himself before finding the headstone he's looking for

_"dad, marius," he gestures from the grass up to marius, then from marius to the grass. "marius, my dad"

-marius says nothing for a moment before tightly clutching onto combeferre's hand. "you didn't tell me." / "tell you what- that my dad's dead?" / marius just nods and stares down at the headstone with a particularly sad look on his face. / "it happened a long time ago, it's alright"

-marius just squeezes his hand further before trying to find a rock and place it on the headstone like combeferre did for his dad. it makes combeferre huff in amusement, but he still appreciates the sentiment and finds one as well. it feels nice to see the rocks, to see his dad's grave. he hadn't visited in a long time, but he's glad he went with marius

-both of them are too tired to attempt to travel back by the time they've eaten dinner. despite not having a change of clothes, they find a little hotel and get a room for the night. combeferre showers and searches his phone for bus times tomorrow while marius showers. it's a pleasant sight to see him come out with the towel around his waist, cum gutters all shiny and fresh and out to the world

-"how often do you work out?" combeferre asks. rather than an answer, marius changes into his briefs and furrows his brow. / "would you tell me about your dad?"

-he's not really sure what to tell, but combeferre talks about being twelve and having a cop come to his door to tell them about the hit and run. he talks about having anger issues that stemmed from loss before going to therapy and learning to appreciate peace and meditation and healing. he talks about how it pushed him to volunteer at kid's shelters because it was hard enough losing one parent and he couldn't imagine losing both. he talks about how that's what drove him to achieve what he has now and how he wants to help people so they don't feel grief and anger and pain, no matter the circumstance

-marius lays in bed and listens to him talk before resuming with his usual habits of playing with combeferre's chest hair. by the time he's finished speaking, combeferre might fall asleep. marius leans forward and presses a warm kiss to his cheek and thanks him for telling him, that he's glad he got to meet his dad today. it's about the last thing combeferre remembers before falling asleep

-after having such angry beginnings, it's so comfortable calming down and being together. something marius really likes throughout their friendship and relationship is simply that combeferre has gotten less frustrated with him and now explains things better when they may disagree on something or if marius simply just doesn't get it. he's stopped treating him like a moron for so long that it's weird to imagine the time when he did

-marius becomes a member of enjolras's jam list. he finds them pressed into his hands at meetings and has had several iterations of the rhubarb jelly recipe. enjolras perfects it around the 6th try, but marius is too embarrassed and shy to tell him that he preferred the 4th attempt. he preferred the jelly when it was tart, but was definitely in the minority. that being said, he likes the 6th recipe too

-they're a good "pickles/no pickles" dynamic. pickles make marius gag so hard and combeferre likes to eat them by the bucketful. if marius orders something with pickles, combeferre will either just pluck them off and eat them himself or will be the one to go up and ask the server for something new

-the elderly rec center also becomes quite fond of combeferre. to many of them, they just view him as marius's "special friend," and combeferre doesn't particularly feel like explaining sexuality to old people so he doesn't mind. it surprises him, though, when after somebody does it that marius actually speaks up

-he just goes "oh no, combeferre isn't my best friend, he's just my boyfriend." and marius is so unabashedly unafraid of telling people his sexuality that it's surprising. he's far better at being out than college-age combeferre was

-marius also leans into things he thought were "too gay for him", which is funny to watch progress from combeferre's perspective. the crop tops make a return, which he certainly doesn't mind, and there's a period where marius plays around with makeup that combeferre also finds very attractive. he sucks at eyeliner, but it's still attractive. he'll get better eventually- some people just have shaky hands, okay?

-marius is also incredibly lucky to have combeferre as a boyfriend during the grad paper period. combeferre is so good at catching misused words, or synonyms better to use, or grammar errors. having him on hand is like the best premium version of grammarly that you could possibly ask for. he also just thinks it's rlly attractive when combeferre gets all academic, so a lot of grad paper editing turns into sex. not that either of them mind

-they both help set up enjolras's tent at the farmer's market, eventually, and steal little samples of his jellies and jams and laugh together when enjolras smacks both of them with a wooden spoon to get them to stop. and i think that's just love <3

#sorry this is so long i just rlly wanted them to have a happy ending #les mis #les miserables #modern les mis #les amis #les amis de l'abc #combeferre #marius pontmercy #combeferre/marius #tw death mention #tw weed mention #tw alcohol

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