#middle of january is usually when i start feeling crazy until like late march

[stroebe2]

i miss fall

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #30: blackchai

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Ayoo, I go by the name of blackchai, preferably stylized in all lowercase. I started out rapping under the name JinSol, but I think I scrubbed 98% of that shit off the internet. I’m based in Brooklyn, but I grew up a little outside NYC in Putnam County. I’ve been releasing as blackchai since either late 2019 or early 2020 - I forget exactly. I put out my first EP titled No Expectation in August 2020. My first full length titled Time & A Place came out April 2022, followed by 2 EPs A Momentary Lapse in October 2022, and SECOND WIND produced entirely by my good friend/collaborator, a haunted house, in January 2023. My most recent release as of right now is my album Year Wandering which released March 2024. My next album OTHERWISE A BLUR is set to release September 6th and that is fully produced by August Fanon, who has also been a friend of mine since before we even started making music together.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I find it easiest to write in the comfort of my bedroom. I work best in solitude. Over the years I have usually written the majority of my stuff late at night, but lately I’ve found I have better ideas in the morning before the day has a chance to influence my mind state. 

I’m a notoriously slow writer as in I can probably count on less than two hands how many verses I’ve written in a single sitting, but lately I’ve been trying to push myself to write faster without second guessing myself or losing my attention span, and it’s been working somewhat.

I find that I kind of go back and forth with how disciplined I am in terms of writing every day, but I prefer to always be in a constant state of having “something” that I’m working on, even if I don’t make daily progress. The only time I don’t have an unfinished verse on my plate is if I’m doing an album rollout or in the mixing process or something like that. Not being in the middle of some kind of creative process gives me really bad anxiety.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

When I started rapping it was all pen and paper, but I have horrible handwriting as well as horrible eyesight so it’s been strictly Notes app for the past few years. There are some things I’ve done in my head and wrote down later, but usually like 4-8 bars. Nothing crazy. My short term memory is unfortunately very compromised at this point in my weed smoking career.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I kind of write in spaced out lines depending on how connected each phrase is to the previous one. I use a lot of my own shorthand to signify pauses and things like that, but sometimes I don’t really solidify the way I’m going to rap the verse until I’m actually recording. It’s a lot easier to rap without breathing when reciting under your breath than when trying to project into a mic. When I started, I would just write in a big paragraph, but I kept losing my place. I used to be able to memorize my verses before recording. but my style has developed into a very stream-of-consciousness word soup sort of thing, so now I don’t usually have anything locked in until after it’s recorded.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

If it doesn’t start out strong, typically I’ll scrap it and start over. Either that or if I write like half a verse then don’t come back to it until days later I can’t pick up the same energy and struggle trying to actually end the thing and it just goes on for way too long and feels redundant. I am a big believer in recycling lines for future use. Sometimes it’ll just be one phrase that I know I need to be a part of a verse. I just need the right beat or placement or whatever. But very rarely do I ever fully delete something. There's always some gold nuggets in a subpar verse.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

So my first girlfriend in high school was a writer. She was writing a novel when we were like fifteen. I’ve always admired people who can write in more traditional structures, but I just don’t possess that skill set. I never knew how to write essays that sounded natural in English class. I always felt like I couldn’t break away from that rigid template they give you when you’re in elementary school. That’s why I really like writing raps. I get to be a writer without having to care about the rules. As a rapper, you can fully disregard grammar, you can make words up, etc. I learned all that studying people like Ghostface Killah and Vordul Mega. But growing up I was definitely reading earlier than a lot of kids my age, and as an adult I really appreciate people like Cormac McCarthy and Tolkien and people like that. They write so descriptively it’s amazing, and I try to take some influence from that in the way I write raps.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I don’t necessarily labor but definitely the past few years as I’ve been taking this more seriously I’ve put in extra effort to edit my lyrics. Especially because my flow is in such weird pockets sometimes, I have to be really specific about how I say some things so I don’t get lost in the beat. Anything from rearranging bars to fully rewriting some things.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Most of the time I write to a beat. Sometimes I’ll have a few lyrics in my head that I think of while walking, taking the train, etc. Recently I’ve been writing one verse while switching between beats. It helps when I start to feel like I’m losing momentum. The beat usually tells you what it wants and sometimes my ideas clash with that, so it takes some searching to finesse the formula. Sometimes I’ll have an old verse I never did anything with and I’ll get a new beat and it just fits perfectly. But I don’t do it in the same way Talib Kweli apparently used to do. I'm not tryna rap super fast and sound crazy just to get a verse off.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

I don’t typically write songs about any singular thing. Sometimes it’s a general vibe and I’ll address multiple things that kind of fit that idea even if they’re not directly related, and sometimes I’m just rapping and making references to anime and things I think are cool. I try not to let it get too jarring content-wise, but at the same time I’m a self-proclaimed student of Ghostface, so I don’t care too much if people don’t get it. I’ve definitely been told I’m very stream-of-consciousness by multiple people. I’d say in general the average blackchai song has sprinkles of Marxism, anime references, interpolations of 90s rap lyrics, and just general ruminations on the way I navigate through life and things I observe on a daily basis. And then all the blank spaces are filled with slang or just general “talking my shit” rapper guy stuff. Nothing too crazy. But I definitely do want to put in the effort in the future to write more concentrated songs. I don’t want to be a one trick pony, especially now that I’m getting more optics as an artist.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I go through phases. I think the thing that comes most naturally to me is flow, so that is usually the thing I like to experiment with the most. I’ve been in a very rapid fire kind of bag for a minute, which is a lot of fun. I did a lot of features just rapping super fast this past year. I also am a big fan of writing non-rhymes or ending bars with words that don’t rhyme. I know a lot of people, mostly older heads, hate that style these days along with the drumless beats and all that, but it’s where I feel I shine the most and can be the most creative. I rap mostly over loops, so there’s less constraints with the way I can actually land my rhymes and everything. But like I said before, the beat usually tells me what it needs. Lyrics are the tougher part for me.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

One of the bonus tracks off Year Wandering titled “All For The Win." The album itself was largely inspired by the manga Vagabond and the themes explored in that and the song kind of encapsulates that. There’s a throughline that I repeat that goes “From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun,” which is nearly a direct quote from the manga and basically the whole theme of Musashi Miyamoto's character journey as well as my own kind of declaration of artistic growth. Where I’ve been and where I want to be. Reflecting upon being some kid writing horrible rhymes in my mom's living room to working with people I’ve been a fan of for years and having people tell me I’m their favorite rapper. I just think this is the best example of me mixing contemplative ideas right next to my usual brand of non-sequitur lyricism. Plus a really dope reference to Cannibal Ox that is just so much fun to rap on stage.

The usual intent’s not a spectacle the proof’s in the outcome I’m counting flaws to strike a healthy balance From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun Contemplating parts of myself that’s hard to face Placating the anger that’s building up from day to day Made a wish, made a plan  Sometimes it’s an aim and a miss but gained an understanding regardless My heart’s a big lender Depart with less than what I need to fill the chest up Blades drawn like a breath  Duress often but can’t halt the flesh  It’s the best of times Measure my regrets next to gratitude it’s too many hard questions Not enough in mind to concentrate Binded by fate with my brothers  Keep it in conversation Fuck a wait list I hate wasting time more than most things in my peripheral  Direct line of sight manifesting pictures from a past life Tryna simply grab it, inhabit the space I’m happy to play a part pondering til the dark divide Niggas is wildin’ I think you better find yourself - before you get ejected from the deep end My shell monumental mechanical found ghost Effortless like a cold reservoir of blood in the vessel Known unknowns  It’s the presence of ancestors weaponizing the mental Head in the sky Treasure refinement  It’s no sweat  Don’t hold me on shit I never said that’s my only lesson to give at the moment Pay attention Unsteady on the way in the present’s a testament to resolve My whole body and soul get the message Surrender control? Probably not It’s dark and Hell is hot as the block in the dead of winter Sounds like a personal problem you probably deserve it dawg Don’t make me call it off it’s all for the win You probably deserve it dawg Usual intent’s not a spectacle the proof’s in the outcome I’m counting flaws to strike a healthy balance From preoccupied with the leaves to invincible under the sun

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

Off the song “Feed The Land” from Year Wandering:

High risk high reward Formula been tired no time to react $30 til the next check what we scrambling? Don’t take it for granted like God gave up the answers Feed The Land

I really like this one because it’s one of the more straightforward things I’ve ever written. I was literally in my kitchen making an egg scramble of random things in my fridge because I was broke and couldn’t afford to buy food until my next check. Very simple but I remember every detail and it was just a very real relatable thing. Nothing esoteric about it, just struggle turned into art.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t do them personally, mostly just because I usually record by myself and it’s annoying to do. But I don’t have an issue with them as a stylistic choice. There’s plenty of punch-ins on like Only Built 4 Cuba Linx, Ironman, Funcrusher Plus, etc. I like to be able to actually rap my own stuff live though. I hate the whole “live show karaoke” thing. Especially in the underground scene. Maybe I’d do them if I had a hypeman or something.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

I mentioned before I like to interpolate lyrics from a lot of 90s rap, but I do this tenfold with rock music. I played guitar before I started rapping and played in a few bands, so I am super pretentious about indie rock/emo/punk etc. I really don’t listen to a lot of rap when I’m writing. At least not a large variety. I’ll usually hyperfixate on one or two rap albums at a time when creating because I don’t want to be influenced too much in that way, but I’ll bump a huge variety of guitar music. 

Like when I was writing Time & A Place the only rap album I was listening to was OB4CL, but I was also listening to a ton of Jawbreaker, Cloud Nothings, Rilo Kiley, Mannequin Pussy, and this Japanese band Number Girl. And when I was writing OTHERWISE A BLUR the only rap I was listening to was like 2016-2017 Mach-Hommy, but I spent most days listening to Interpol and these random obscure indie bands with like 200 Spotify listeners. 

I’m also in the middle of reading Blood Meridian. Other than that, my main non-music inspirations/influences are just whatever shows I’m watching. I watch The Sopranos about four times a year, so that's a permanent fixture and source of reference. I just rewatched YuYu Hakusho. And then whatever communist/leftist literature I’ve read will pop up now and again. Obviously some Marxist stuff, Kwame Ture, Malcolm X, Huey Newton, etc. but I wouldn’t call myself a thoroughly read or educated person in that regard.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I didn’t like anything about my own music until like my last two projects, for the most part. I hated my voice. I took a long time getting comfortable on the mic. Things like that. But I feel like I’ve really started to feel and sound like the artist I’ve always wanted to be. Going back to my older stuff, now I see the merit in it, but at the time I hated almost everything I put out by the time I put it out. I really love this next album I’m about to drop though. I also made it in a significantly shorter timeframe than anything else I’ve done, so I haven’t had the chance to grow to hate it.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Definitely billy woods and E L U C I D. I’m a huge fan, and they both have definitely influenced me a ton, but sometimes I stop myself from listening to Armand Hammer while I’m making stuff. Especially while making this record with August Fanon - haha. Aside from them, I’d say a lot of people in the scene in New York right now. Like people I see at shows and know personally. Like it’s one thing to subconsciously bite a rapper that you know from a distance, but when it comes to people who are closer to your level or whatever, you want to kind of maintain a sense of friendly competition. I like the idea of everyone having their own style. It’s like super powers. Spider-Man and Human Torch are homies, but they can’t do what the other does.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

When I was a child I think the first thing I ever wanted for my future was to be an artist. I don’t even know why or what kind of artist I wanted to be. I just liked things like that. I also wanted to be a ninja. Presently, I just want to make a mark and be a part of rap-lore. When I started rapping, one of the more formative influences for me was The Juggaknots but I’ve never met anybody outside of hardcore rap nerds who even know who they are, but Breeze is like the best rapper ever. If I can do that for some kid 20 years from now, that’d be crazy. 

Obviously the deeper I get into this and the more things I accomplish that I never thought possible there will be more things I strive to achieve, but my initial goal was just to be a dope rapper who other rappers think is dope and just do cool shit because I can put words together in a cool and interesting way. And I kind of feel like I finally opened the door for that possibility. I can’t go to a show in New York without running into someone I know through music. I’ve even been recognized by strangers a couple times in the crowd of billy woods shows and stuff, which is really insane, and kind of weird.

There’s messages and beliefs I have that I put into my music, but I was never someone who wanted to make political music or anything like that. It’s a good gateway, but I’m not a professor. You can learn a lot more about revolutionary politics by reading books than from listening to Public Enemy, but a lot of people probably didn’t even form an interest in black leftist politics until Chuck D screamed into their ear about the Black Panthers. I suffer from really bad depression and anxiety. I wouldn’t feel comfortable counseling someone on their own mental health issues, but maybe my music might inspire someone to take action for themselves. Just having a positive tangible effect on people is really all you can hope for.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: E. Fortson

[thedailycourtney]

Some Things

If you think you can’t keep a plant alive, get yourself a philodendron. So pretty, so easy, so leafy. If you need a start, let me know, I’ll mail you one.

If you live somewhere like Missouri, climate-wise, you know you can’t trust spring to REALLY be spring until at least late April. There are usually at least a couple cold nights that ruin outside plants if you aren’t prepared. 

We have had the most perfect spring. Warm, rainy, sunny during the day. Everything is so green, none of the tree or flower buds were killed by frost, at least not yet, and the forecast is a good one.

I love being able to move plants outside. It gives me room, and space, and it changes my whole house feel.

I NEED outside, I need air and space and room, to breathe, and I know it’s probably weird that I talk about this all the time, but my overall mood is so tied to my surroundings.

That being said, it’s kind of amazing how easy it is for me to turn off every bit of news, turn on some loud music, and just entertain myself. I can’t imagine ever being bored. 

THAT being said, I miss my friends desperately. I entertain every single weekend during the summer. I host out of town friends most weekends during fall/football season. I’m insanely busy with work/holidays/family in December. There are at least two home (Mizzou) basketball games a week in January and February, though the rest of my time is spent hibernating. This is the time of year I usually can’t wait to emerge from my cave again. 

I am mostly quarantining with my mom and her husband. It started out as the only way I could keep them from going to the store every other day, so. My mom took off work from the end of March, to (tentatively) the end of April. My stepdad owns a small, high end construction company so he only has two of his employees working, and can keep his distance. (In MO, projects already started are considered essential, but no new building permits are being issued until after the SIP order is over.)

His house is empty, so my friends who are sort of nomadic and currently in AZ might rent it. I’m so happy they’ll maybe be in town, but so sad we’ll be in the same town, but… not.

He also has a cabin on a lake in a small town ~30 miles from here which is where they’re spending most of their time. 

My mom and I adopted Jack together, so while the weeks are mine, we share weekend custody in the spring and summer. He’s with them this weekend, and my house feels so empty without him here. 

Even when I’m not being SOCIAL social, I spend a lot of time with neighbors. My neighbor/good friend is director of nursing for [local hospital] and she is working crazy hours, naturally, and I miss the way things used to be, and I’m so awestruck by the real heroes in our everyday lives. 

Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, restless, I turn onto my side and in my not quite asleep haze I feel like my body is crushing my lungs, like a sedated elephant. In the daylight, I recognize this as some sort of anxiety. In my reality, I just turn the music up, start moving, and take the deepest breath I can.

So far the Major Things that have been cancelled are whatever, but if we don’t have college football in September, I might literally die.

I used to say things like “I might literally die” in jest, but. What if I DO literally die? It could happen. I’m 44. Mostly healthy, very lucky, but. It could happen. I can’t think about it. I don’t want to think about it. I can’t bear to think about it.

[elliemarchetti]

Somewhere to Start (part 9)

Words: 1687

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Other Harry Potter fics:

Slytherin!Hermione AU (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7)

The Deal (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

The Polaroids The Sixth and Seventh Polaroids

Memories of a Survivor 

On December 26th everyone woke up late. The Gryffindor’s Common Room was much quieter than it had been lately and frequent yawns punctuated lazy conversations. Hermione's hair was frizzy again and as if nothing had happened the previous night she and Ron had returned talking to each other, albeit in a strangely formal way. It was time to think about the homework everyone ignored during the first week of vacation, too busy preparing for the Ball, and the students seemed rather down while Harry was starting to get a little nervous again, and although he could hide it from Ron, it was another story with Hermione, who remembered that February 24th was fast approaching and he hadn’t yet done anything to decipher the riddle inside the golden egg. Not that it was the only problem: in fact, as soon as the lessons resumed, the Gryffindors had the bitter surprise of finding a substitute teaching Care of Magical Creatures and not their gigantic friend, that was indisposed, according to Professor Grubbly-Plank, his hateful substitute.

"I don't understand what Hagrid has." Hermione complained that day at lunch, when she was finally able to see Viktor again, who had been incredibly shy the previous week. "If he hadn't felt good he would’ve told us, wouldn't he?"

The boy agreed, obviously lost in his thoughts, and Hermione made a mental note to investigate further what was happening to him, only to be distracted, when she reached the Gryffindor table, by a copy of the Daily Prophet that went from hand to hand generating general discontent, where, on the front page, there was an article from Rita Skeeter entirely on Hagrid and how much the half-human was a favorite of Dumbledore despite being huge in appearance and having terrified students with a succession of hideous creatures. Hermione snatched the newspaper from Lavender's hands, which despite mumbling something, didn't have the heart to reply when the classmate crumpled it and threw away what she had called junk. It was what happened later to be blatant and to enter the annals of Hogwarts history, or certainly that of the feud between Gryffindor and Slytherin: Hermione marched straight to Malfoy's place and slapped him first and then Crabbe, below the everyone’s astonished gaze, including the professors.

"Granger!" Snape boomed, but Hermione didn't care. How could that worm lie that way? Hagrid was a good man, at times naive, of course she saw it too, but he had never wanted to hurt anyone, nor had he abused his power as a teacher; on the contrary, the opposite had happened and he had to endure Malfoy's harassment for two years, dreading that his father could take away with his influence the small space that, with Dumbledore's help, he had managed to carve out in the magical community that wanted so ardently to be perfect, to eliminate all those who could somehow be different and undesirable. If Rita Skeeter had to write an article about a despotic and aggressive professor, she should’ve done it on Snape.

"Detention. In my office, now. And apologize to my students."

“Never.” she hissed.

"Do you want to be in detention until the end of the school year?" he asked, rising from his seat and standing in front of the teachers' table.

"Is this what you teach your students, then? To lie to get what they want? To be mean? I deserve to be punished for hitting them while they? Don't they deserve it for lying?"

This was a huge affront to Snape’s authority, so much so that someone could have called it insubordination or lack of respect, but anyone who had seen the attitude that the teacher had held for four years against the most brilliant of the students in that school could understand why she was acting that way.

"And this is what you are taught in Gryffindor? To physically assault anyone who doesn’t agree with you?"

Probably the professor expected to put the girl, who was tremendously aware of all the students’ eyes fixed on her back and those of the entire teaching staff, in whose she read conflicting judgments, in the corner, but this didn’t happen, as Minerva McGonagall herself stood up to speak: "No, Severus, this isn’t what I teach my students so I advise you to return to your place. I will take care of Miss Granger, who will come to my office at the end of the lessons to decree what is the punishment that best fits her wrong gesture, myself. I advise you to discuss with your students, instead, about the weight their words." she finished dryly, and sat down again only when her colleague stormed out of the room, furious. Hermione sat back down in her place with her head down, but saw, out of the corner of her eye, that her housemates' attitude toward her had changed.

"You've been amazing." said Ron, vaguely breathless. Hermione smiled slightly. She feared McGonagall much more than any other professor and didn't want to disappoint her, which she probably did with that thoughtless gesture. She raised her head from the plate, that remained empty all the time, only in hope of meeting Viktor's gaze, but the boy was gone, and his place left empty.

 McGonagall's punishment was much less harsh than what Viktor would’ve imagined as she merely forbade Hermione from participating in the Hogsmeade trip organized for mid-January. Obviously Viktor also decided not to go and they spent the day together in the cold and wet from the freshly melted snow park.

"We could take a bath." he said, clutching his own cup of hot chocolate.

"A bath?" she asked, puzzled. Probably there were about 4o C.

"We do it often, in Durmstrang. Besides, I should practice a spell."

Hermione's attention snapped like a spring: "What spell?"

"Transfiguration." he replied vague, amused by the light in her eyes.

"I'm very good in that area! Tell me, what do you have to transfigure? I hope it's not something too big, because these are very difficult spells and I can't help you, and probably not even Professor McGonagall, even though she's the best in that field…”

"I don't think it's something I could talk to your teachers about." he interrupted her, without raising his voice too much. Although almost all the students from the third year onwards had gone to Hogsmeade, he didn't want to be heard while talking about the tournament with Hermione, partly to avoid problems, partly because he wasn't sure anyone could help him when it came to what needed to be done to win, especially if it belonged to another competing school. Or any other school, actually.

"Oh ... You probably shouldn't even talk to me about it then." she replied, disappointed.

"I know, that's why I asked you to take a bath." he replied with a half-smile. It was horrible not being able to share everything with her, not to mention the fact that he still hadn't been able to give her his Christmas present, but maybe it was too late and besides she didn't seem to have been offended for not having received one, even if even Neville had bought one for Ginny, who showed it off with some pride. The girl was probably too good for him, and he was certain that she was destined for great things, especially after he had seen her in the middle of the night training with one of Hogwarts' brooms, the worst he had seen in a long time, and do prodigies anyway, but for the moment they were cute, although Hermione claimed that there was nothing between them.

"She would’ve told me, don't you think?" she had asked him, rather annoyed, one day, and he had dropped the subject, even if it was obvious that Ginny would surely not have told someone that she has settled with Neville after her obvious crush on Potter. Regarding him, and his friend, a kind of peace seemed to have been established between them and Hermione but Viktor still couldn't trust them, especially because he couldn't just forget how Weasley had attacked her on Yule Ball night, ruining, at least in part, his romantic projects. Since that night he had no longer thought of declaring his love, let alone trying to kiss her, even though there were days where he really didn't know how he managed to restrain himself, partly because he felt too embarrassed, partly because he had a crazy fear of losing her if she hadn’t returned his feelings, so he had contented himself with being something more than a friend and something less than a boyfriend, locked in that strange limbo that was like a bubble of happiness that by now no one, not even his friends, could conceive.

"How long do you think you can wait?" Andrei had asked him one morning during their usual run on the lake, and Viktor hadn't stopped thinking about it since then. How long could he wait? Forever, if things stayed that way. But it wouldn't happen, and he would be back in Bulgaria in a few months, and she would be more than two thousand kilometers away, with a life and habits that he didn't want her to put aside or distort every time he went to visit. Yet, on the other hand, he wouldn’t have let what was between them, whatever it was, merely be a nice memory, so he kept waiting and watched the two parts of his heart that fought against each other. Was it okay to act selfish? Or should he have been a gentleman and let her make her decision without intrusion? Darina had reminded him, when the topic came out again during the long nights on the ship, that Hermione, brilliant as she was, was still a normal girl, and a younger one, moreover, so it was up to him to make the first step, whatever he wanted to do.

"But isn't it too cold?" Hermione asked, snatching him from her thoughts.

"There are spells to solve this problem too." he replied as a wide smile opened on both their faces.

[crbrickey]

Casey’s Kids...

5 years ago I started on a journey that I had no idea I needed or how it would end. It was 2014 and the Poker boom was ending. This is important because the previous 8 years of my life was consumed with poker. Some weeks I would play it 5 different nights, now I was lucky to find a place with good people to play it once a week. So to say the least, my calendar was wide open. With nothing to do, I was starting to fall into a rut. 

Thankfully, Cory Rush and Kyle Willis started talking about playing softball. Having been involved in sports all my life, I was interested. This is one of the life lessons. Even though I was physically unable to play sports, I had spent my life being involved in them none the less. In middle and in high school I was manager of both football and basketball teams, upon graduating high school, afterwards I spent 3 summers coaching AAU and MAYB basketball before interning at Wichita State athletics and 3 different departments. But since graduating college, I had done nothing in sports. Definitely a void in my life. So I ran with the idea and volunteered to put a team together. 

This took a lot of work and a little luck. I scoured facebooks and other softball sites for people looking to join a team. I even posted an ad on Craigslist. I was determined to make a team. Yaaayyy I did it! Then upon signing up, I was told the league was full but they had room in co-ed. Well crap! There is no way I know enough females that would be interested in softball. Thankfully, one of the guys that I found-Leon, offered to find us girls. And like that, 3 days later we were entered into co-ed rec softball. 

This is just the beginning of the journey. Our first season- summer of 2014, was a disaster. Many a Fridays I spent all afternoon trying to find enough replacements to fill up a team for the night. Thankfully, Candice and Leon had enough connections that we never had to forfeit. But we were bad! Somehow we did manage 2 wins that season but I knew I couldn’t sustain a team like this. This is when I decided to start using my new connections and made a team that I felt would be more competitive and more likely to show up. At this point, I had to not invite Leon back to the team. This sounds bad, but we’ll circle around. 

Fall ball that year was starting to get better. Were we competitive? Not really-but at least I only had to find usually one sub a week as opposed to 3. But during these 2 seasons, I really started to make connections and people were starting to ask to be part of my team. 

2015 all year (spring, summer and fall) was the same. We started doing some tournaments and networking more. 2015 was a fun year but I still had to be honest with myself, I wasn’t happy. It’s not an insult to anybody, everybody was great. I loved that team. But I'm competitive but not crazy competitive. What I mean by this, if I was going to play softball, I wanted to play softball. If I wanted to drink, I would go to a bar. I had fun hanging out with everybody but the competitive side of me hated losing because half my team would rather drink than play. So I started internal discussions with myself on what I could do. 

Thanks to all of my network, by the time 2016 came around, I was able to put out a competitiveish co-ed team. I had a couple girls--Angie and Sandy who were absolute beasts. And my guy pool was getting deep. I had to start turning away guys who wanted to play. Finally, it dawned on me, do 2 leagues. Men’s and co-ed. Before I knew it, I was running 2 teams. Now we’re going to take s quick break to teach a very valuable business lesson. 

Prior to 2016, my team had been the Grand Salamis. But after a discussion Sarah Kennedy suggested we rebrand the team Casey’s Kids. At he time it wasn’t thrilled, but everybody loved it so it was sold. Anyways, the business lesson.. with the new branding, we needed new jerseys. So I went my shirt guy. He had made 2 other jerseys for us previously and I felt good about his business. I made a big order as I needed jerseys for co-ed’s and men’s. Made the order and decided like an idiot-- to pay the whole bill instead of the half that was required. Needless to say, he went out of business and I never got our jerseys or the money back. My naiveness cost me $450. But I always admit my mistakes so I still refunded all my players. They trusted me with their money so I had to come thru. Since I couldn’t get jerseys I knew I had to repay them and I did. So important lesson, never pay the whole bill until delivery of the product. I knew that but I trusted the dude. Lesson learned now though. 

By the end of 2016, I was really starting to get burned out. Honestly, I knew whaat I had to do. I had to drop co-ed. 2 reasons-- 1. every week I had to find replacements. I sleep in late so my window to find subs was smaller than it would be for most. I couldn’t spend 4 hours every Friday on Facebook looking for subs. B. Competitiveness. I’m not trying to bad talk anybody, I enjoyed our parking lot gatherings, but the competitor in me wanted a team who wanted to win as bad as I did. Now, I’m not saying I have too win in order to be happy. I grew up in Ark City, I got use to losing, so I’m alright with that. But what I am not alright with is laughing and drinking while we get beat by double digits. 

After some soul searching and talking to some of my more connected players--Cory Skov, Braylan Nussbaum and Kelly Webster, I was convinced I could make a men’s league team that had the same principals as I did. But before I would go all in, I was willing to give co-ed one more chance. But the end of spring ball, I was finally washing my hands of co-ed. It just wasn’t making me happy. So that summer I put together a team with a lot of help from the 3 before mentioned players. I finally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Even though it was my team, others like the mentioned, would help me find subs if we needed. I finally had guys who wanted to win. Now 2017 was a year to get my footing. Wichita softball does a real bad job of separating rec and competitive. You might think you're rec, which we were, but due to no separation-- you get to play competitive teams. We could beat and hang with half the league, but the other half would embarrass us. 

Now we enter 2018. I am now determined to build a true contender. Spring ball was a disaster, I was still trying to recover from my sickness in March, and we had so many rainouts. We played all the way into summer. With all this going on, I able to take care of myself because I knew my players would take care of themselves, and they did. Whenever you have as many rainouts as we did, you can expect quite a few players missing make up games. With this came the opportunity to find new players. These new players would mesh right away and were asking if they could play summer ball with us. For the first time in Men’s I had too many players. It is a nice problem to have. Not only did I have too many, I now had great players. Now summer league we finished 14-2, with only 2 losses coming to the team that won the league. Unfortunately, both times we played them, we were severely undermanned as I was still having health issues and missed quite a bit of the season. When I miss, Rush has to miss as well. I was finally happy with my softball product. But then I had to make the toughest decision I have made when dealing with softball. I knew I had to take fall ball off so I could focus on my health and more importantly Spinraza treatments. It was hard to do this because I didn't want to lose my team. 

This brings me to today. By the time January rolled around, I had both Braylan and Stewart asking me if I was going to do softball again. I was really starting to get my strength back so I said if we can get enough guys--heck yeah! And just like that-- everybody that had played with me sometime the year before, was back again. We even added a couple of guys. It really touches my heart that this team and all these great players --who I'm sure were asked by others-- wanted to wait and play for me. This team is special, let me introduce you to everybody. 

Left to right. Cody Knuth, Braylan Nussbaum, Sean Zuniga, Tane Murphy, Stewart Jordan Hoover, Cory Rush, Josh Tucker, Alex Cavender, Kelly Webster, Lyle Powers and Brandon McBeth. Not pictured is Cory Skov and Vincent DeLaurentis. We will also be picking up Andrew Tapia, Ryan Westmoreland, Danny Rodriguez, Zac Villalpando and Brad Perkins for Summer Ball. With this group we are going back to 2 leagues. Friday and Sundays. To say the least my weekend starting in June will be booked. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Now the jerseys I have had a lot of comments on how good they look. The credit goes to Braylan all the way. After my dealings back in 2016, I haven’t had the courage to try and order jerseys again. Thankfully, Braylan stepped up. He knew a guy who could do it and Braylan designed them and got them made. I know people not even on the team have asked about them. If you want to order one, let Braylan or I know and I’ll see what we can do. 

Now, another circle back, the team name. When Sarah came up with it, I know it was out of respect and I really do appreciate it but being a disabled individual, sometimes I get unwanted attention or respect. What I mean by this- I want to be just one of the guys. Not necessarily the inspiration. For those of you not in this position will think that sounds like a jerk thing to say, I’m not trying to be a jerk, I totally understand the respect and I appreciate that. Its just sometimes how I feel. Now that I got that off my chest, I am so thankful for this name now. I truly feel this is my team. We are now a family. We all get along with each other. In between games we are all together hanging out, not going our separate ways. This makes me so proud to call this group my kids lol. I don’t know how that works for Lyle since he’s way older than me, sorry-- I had to. 

Before I end this, I want to reiterate the 3 life lessons. 1. The simple one, don’t make payment until you receive the goods. B. Don’t be afraid of chasing your happiness. I knew I wasn't happy when it started so I made the right moves to get me there. Along the way I might have made a few people upset and for that I am truly sorry. Now I'm not saying forget everyone else, do you-- no, you should always be nice to others but sometimes you have to worry about your own feelings too and make adjustments. Just try to do it in a honorable way and be sure to apologize if feelings are hurt. III. Family. Its the greatest thing we have. They’re the ones that will be there the most when you need them. Don’t be afraid to have multiple families. I do. I have 3 and I love them all. Thank you guys for becoming part of my family. I can’t wait to win our first championship this summer. No pressure lol. 

I’ll be back next with who knows. Hopefully my Avs can bounce back and win the next 3 games. Everyone have a good first weekend of May and don't forget to watch the Kentucky Derby. 

[everyonethinksmynameiskayla]

Coding data and binge eating clementines

I’ve been meaning to sit down and write another post for a while now but since my head is no longer preventing me from having a coherent thought (I do still get occasional headaches), I’ve been working on coding my interview data and by the time I’ve done that all day I just want to lie down and not use my brain. Coding is so exhausting - it requires such intense concentration. I had to jump through all these absurd hoops to get the software for it too, I had to download VirtualBox to run Windows 10 on my MacBook in order to run the coding software, QDA Miner, and getting Windows 10 for free or really downloading anything is a huge challenge with crappy internet. So that took almost a week. But now I’m in the groove, so to speak. I’ve got giant pieces of paper hanging in my apartment so I can work out my ideas etc. and I’ve got all of my transcripts back from Oumoul as of this morning. 

^ My giant paper  

Starting next week I’ll be in Thies (about 1.5 hours east of Dakar) for almost two weeks for a training that Tostan is doing on their human-rights based non-formal education approach to community empowerment. I didn’t know about it until last week but they’re letting me slip in at the last second for a fraction of the price that the other representatives from other African development NGOs are paying for room/board/training (I think that’s basically who’s going to be there, but we’ll see) since they’re my sponsoring organization and my research, which the training will be useful for, is going to be helpful for them.

Last weekend Brittany’s friend from the US, Teresa, was here visiting so we went to spend a night in Simal in Sine Saloum, a region on the coast of both the ocean and the river about three hours south of Dakar. I think I’ve probably already talked about this, but to get anywhere outside of Dakar you have to take a “sept-place” the ridiculous old, worn-out circa-1980′s Renault station wagons which hold 7 people, hence the name “sept-place” which means “seven places”. To get a sept-place you have to go to the garage baux maraichers, which 3 years ago when I was here was the apex of chaos in the universe but has since gotten a bit cleaner and more organized. So we found a guy going to Fatik, which is past Sine Saloum but we were just going to get off early. We had to wait a little while since no one else was there for Fatik yet but that actually worked out okay because we got the three best seats (the passenger seat and the two window seats in the middle, you have to be a contortionist to sit comfortably in the way back). It took forever, as per usual, to get out of Dakar and Rufisque, the next city which at this point is being swallowed up by Dakar, because there was an insane accident that seemed to involve a giant truck flipping over into a ditch so a crane had come and pulled it out and so we sat in completely stand still traffic (engine off and driver nowhere to be found) for at least an hour. So by the time we got out of the sept-place in Tataguine (which I enjoy because when you say it with a Senegalese accent it sounds like Tataouine) it was dark. After much negociation and confusion we found a guy who had a car and who claimed to have a vague idea of where Simal, the coastal village where we were going to stay, was. However once we got closer to the village it became clear that he in fact had no idea where he was going, and we proceeded to drive around in the sand for approximately an hour, asking random people who clearly did not know where the campement was either for directions, at one point a little boy even got in the car to try to help but he kept changing his mind about which way the driver should turn so that was useless. The driver kept calling the lady from the campement, which was likely also useless since the only descriptor of where we were at any given moment was “near some sand and a fence and some donkeys”. But eventually we made it and boy, was it worth it, we sat at a table right on the water and had tabouleh and chicken and then the next morning had an assortment of jams with tappalappa (the village bread that I like) and coffee that wasn’t instant. Then we had a ride on a pirog that came with the room, so for about two hours a very nice man steered us down the river and through the marches on a very large pirog (there are pictures of that on the photo blog). He explained how the women would wade out and plant what looked like tiny mangroves in the marsh in these perfect rows, and showed us the shrimp nets that were tied to long bamboo poles propped up in the trees, which you have to come collect in the middle of the night. Then I had a headache so I hung out in the restaurant area while Brittany and Teresa kayaked, which was fine because it was serene and beautiful and I was happy to sit and do nothing for a while. 

As we were discussing how we should get home and when we should leave, this young French woman came up and said she couldn’t help but overhear and explained that she and her husband were about to drive back to Dakar in about ten minutes, did we want a ride? We obviously wanted a ride. Her husband was Senegalese but they met in France and they turned out to be the absolute coolest people ever. We all chatted the whole three hours back and he let me borrow a book about microlending in Bangladesh and Brittany promised to show the woman, Sophie, around the art scene in Dakar (since she’s an artist and they had just moved here when they got married in January - she had some incredible stories about the marriage rituals Souleman’s mom had guided her through). 

^ Where we stayed, Campement Simal

Other than that little jaunt to Sine Saloum (and I would say another day trip to Ile des Madelines, but I’ve been there so many times it doesn’t really count anymore, although this time I did ride in the trunk on the way there), life is fairly normal (by Dakar standards).

^ In the trunk on the way to the island, at the top of the cliff once there

I go home for lunch a couple of times a week and over to Moussa’s for attaya every couple of days. During the day I mostly code and work and read either at home or at a café. My new friend who works in the monitoring and evaluation department of Tostan invited me to come use the extra space in their office to work but I have’t gotten around to doing that yet because it’s not super close to where I live. Every Thursday Brittany I go to “Marché Jeudi” (Thursday Market) which is a labyrinthine collection of people selling giant piles of clothes and various other random things that pops up around the corner from my apartment every Thursday and you have to really dig (literally) but everything is about 200-300 francs and we’ve had some amazing finds. Like last week I got an Eddie Bauer button down and a top from Zara (for less than 50 cents a piece!!). Right next to Marché Jeudi is the “beignet lady” and I go to her fairly often and bring beignets (which are fried balls of sweet dough) to Moussa’s to go with the attaya. She’s legendary and always surrounded by a huge crowd waiting, but it’s a very modest set-up, just a woman sitting on a stool on a particularly narrow street surrounded by a giant vat of boiling oil, buckets of dough, and a big bowl where she deposits the beignets when they’re done so her daughter can wrap them in Swedish newspapers (my bread I get from the boutique next door also is wrapped in Swedish newspaper…I don’t understand where it’s all coming from…maybe Sweden…but why???) and bag ‘em.

I go every now and then to Marché HLM also, which is the fabric market in the HLM neighborhood, which is like the projects but for Dakar. I love Marché HLM for a couple of reasons. The fabric is so vibrant and beautiful so I enjoy being surrounded by it (it’s also only about $1 for a yard) but I also like that it’s one of the only spaces in Dakar that feels ruled by women. Most of the sellers and shoppers are women, and even if they’re men they aren’t crazy aggressive like they are at markets like Sandaga where they gets lots of tourists so when they see a Toubab they descend and won’t leave you alone until you buy something. At HLM I’m pretty much always guaranteed to be the only Toubab and it’s also just quieter in general even though it’s absolutely massive and ten times as labyrinthine as Marché Jeudi. There are tiny little corridors lined with fabric stalls and you can only pass through one person deep. It’s also my favorite place to practice my Wolof, because everyone there is super game to speak Wolof to me instead of French and because of the repetition of buying and selling and each stall owner asking me the same questions over and over I learn the words better and it’s easier to repurpose them later.  

^ Some of the fabric I’ve gotten at HLM that hasn’t become clothes

I’ve really gotten to know the bus and informal public transportation systems (car rapides, kolandos) even better and only take cabs if it’s too late at night for buses. It’s great because I know the city so well now and taking public transport everywhere makes me feel more connected to Dakar and my fellow Dakarois (most ex-pats just take cabs all the time, since relative to the West it’s cheap, but relative to the buses here it’s astronomically expensive). It can be frustrating as public transport can be anywhere else; waiting forever, insanely crowded buses (like the kind of crowded where you don’t need to hold on to anything because you can’t move at all anyway), people accidentally stepping on you or elbowing you in the head etc. But now that I’ve gotten used to it I can never justify a cab to myself. 100 francs (16 cents) versus 1500 francs ($2.50) for the same distance…not a hard choice. That might seem petty but it’s all relative, I don’t convert currencies unless I’m making a big purchase when I’m living abroad.

One instance where I do convert and allow myself to splurge a bit (by Dakar standards at least) is this new restaurant about 10 minutes from my apartment called Mawa’s Taste of America, which is owned by a Senegalese woman who lived in the US for decades and makes absolutely incredible American breakfast food. I’ve also been obsessed with clementines (about $1.20/kilo…I eat A LOT of them) but the season is ending soon and I’m so bummed. Speaking of food, Brittany and I also recently tried some sort of weird cake called the Dakaroise from the bakery near my apartment and it was not only twice the size of our faces but one of the strangest things I’ve ever eaten. It was fairly dry yellow cake with layers of filling that was what I can only assume pure butter whipped with some sugar in it. It was like if I was making cookies and stopped after the first two ingredients and then used that to fill the cake.

^ Brittany’s head for scale 

Also here’s the most adorable picture ever of me having a tender moment with my baby cat who fell asleep with his paw on my face (not at all my cat, but I like it more than Brittany and it’s her families’):

[torentialtribute]

Steve McClaren on Manchester United’s 1999 Champions League final win

Amid the Mayhem of Teddy Sheringham's injury-time equalizer for Manchester United in the 1999 Champions League final , assistant manager Steve McClaren sought an urgent word with the boss, Sir Alex Ferguson.

'I remember saying to him, gaffer it looks like extra-time now, we could get back into some kind of shape and not take so many risks, "says McClaren.

" He looked at me and said: "Steve, sit down, this game ain't about yet." Sixty seconds later, we know what happened. I thought we had stopped another half-hour but Ole. What a shame! '

Steve McClaren was Sir Alex Ferguson's assistant at the 1999 Champions League final

McClaren is sipping coffee in the lounge of a north London hotel, mind whirring back 20 years to one of the greatest stories in British sports, summed up perfectly by Ferguson after beating Bayern Munich 2-1 with two late, late goals: "Football, bloody hell."

United return to the scene, Barcelona's Well Camp, on Tuesday night needing to overturn a 1-0 first leg lead from this season's quarter-final. At least they have a man in charge who knows about comebacks in Catalonia, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who scored the winner in '99 to complete a historic Treble.

McClaren, who later got used to managing England and won major trophies with Middlesbrough and FC Twente, was just 38 at the time and had the best seat in the house alongside Ferguson, just five months after being plucked out of relative obscurity as a coach at Derby.

McClaren had the best seat in the house for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's stunning late winner

"My memories of the Nou Camp are so strong," he says with feeling. "Apart from marrying my wife and having three boys, winning the Treble was the greatest 10 days of my life, and still are.

" The FA Cup Final on the previous Saturday was big in itself. I'd never been to Wembley as a player so I was like a little kid. After the warm-up, I got Albert the kit man to put on some gloves so I could take some shots on the pitch.

'I was determined not to let the Champions League final go by in a blur. After the final whistle, I stopped during the lap of honor to look at the United fans going crazy, they'd packed out three quarters of the stadium.

'I soaked it all up for five minutes and I' m so pleased I did. From a football point of view, it was like going to heaven. I still have a picture of it in my mind and will have forever. "

McClaren had joined United at the start of the year and it proved perfect timing. Ferguson managed the quest of Premier League, FA Cup and Champions League, never done before.

Without the suspended Paul Scholes and Roy Keane for the European final, Fergie galvanized his troops one final time against opponents who boasted world stars like Oliver Khan, Lothar Matthaus and Stefan Effenberg.

McClaren has lifted the member on preparations, such as David Beckham in the middle

STEVE MCCLAREN'S MANAGERIAL CV

Derby (assistant manager): July 1995-January 1999

Manchester United (assistant manager): February 1999-June 2001

England (assistant manager): November 2000-November 2002; June 2004-July 2006

Middlesbrough: July 2001-June 2006

England: August '06 -November '07

Twente: July 2008-June 2010

Wolfsburg: July 2010-February 2011

Nottingham Forest: July-October 2011

Twente: January 2012-February 2013

QPR (assistant manager): July-September 2013

Derby: October 2013-May 2015

Newcastle: June 2015-March 2016

Derby: October 2016-March 2017

Maccabi Tel-Aviv (advisor): September-December 2017

QPR: May 2018-April 2019

'One of the gaffer's greatest strengths was planning. That's why he was able to stay at the top with United for 27 years, "said McClaren.

" He looked at fixtures ahead. I remember once he told Wes Brown he was leaving him out of the next game but to make sure he was ready for Arsenal in three weeks time. He believed Wes was the only one who could deal with Thierry Henry's runs down the left.

'He would have known the team to play Bayern long before. We knocked on Dwight Yorke's by the morning of the FA Cup final and told him he wouldn't be playing at Wembley. Yorkie was devastated but it was because Fergie needed him for the Nou Camp.

'The biggest dilemma was midfield. Ronnie Johnsen could have played with Nicky Butt but Alex wanted Jesper Blomqvist in the team, so David Beckham shifted to the middle.

'I did the coaching but the gaffer was the master on match day. His team talk was based on emotion rather than tactical details – why this was the greatest game of their lives.

'He said it was like flying to moon, not many people get the chance, not many people even want to do it, but tonight they could fly to the moon. Were the players ready after that? Damn right, they were ready. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up as well.

'At half-time, when we were losing, he spoke about the Champions League trophy and what it would feel like if we had to leave Barcelona without it. '

McClaren admits he said United should sit back after Teddy Sheringham's equalizer

1999 CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL

Manchester United (4-4-2): Schmeichel; G. Neville, Johnsen, Stam, Irwin; Giggs, Beckham, Butt, Blomqvist (Sheringham 67); Cole (Solskjaer 81), Yorke

Unused subs: van der Gouw, P. Neville, May, Brown, Greening

Goals: Sheringham 90 + 1, Solskjaer 90 + 3

Manager: Sir Alex Ferguson

Bayern Munich (4-4-2): Kahn; Babbel, Matthaus (Fink 80), Effenberg, Kuffour; Jancker, Basler (Salihamidzic 87), Jeremies, Zickler (Scholl 71); Tarnat, Linke

Unused subs: Dreher, Helmer, Strunz, Daei

Goal: Basler 6

Manager: Ottmar Hitzfeld

United's spirit during that era was legendary. McClaren witnesses the competitive element in training.

"We practiced penalties at Bisham Abbey before we flew to Barcelona for the final," he reveals. 'We wanted it done properly in case we needed to take them for real. Yorkie walks up with a big smile and chips Peter Schmeichel with a 'Panenka'.

'Pete went ballistic and chased him all over. He didn't like being chipped and he also felt Yorkie wasn't taking the exercise seriously. We sat Yorkie down and asked if he'd honestly take a penalty the same way in a Champions League final and he asked quite firmly: "I would do it."

Match day itself was a time for the players to relax but McClaren had work to do at the team hotel: 'I was busy writing up the set of plays, doing my flip charts, working out the marking. When the Bayern team sheet was handed in, we went through it all on the board.

'Defensive set pieces mainly, they knew what they were doing at the other end! David Beckham had the best delivery in the world and we just told him to put it in the right areas. "

The fairy tale had a horrible start when Mario Basler scored for Bayern after six minutes. Midway through the second half with United still trailing, Ferguson threw on Sheringham for Blomqvist, with Ryan Giggs and Beckham returning to their normal flanks.

It left United with just one orthodox central midfielder – Butt – but it was a risk they felt they needed to take, with Yorke instructed to play a bit deeper than usual.

McLaren was pulled from a coaching role at Derby to be Fergie's No2 months before the final

"Most subs would warm up in the corner until they got the shout, Teddy would do his stretches in front of the bench, trying to catch your eye, "McClaren explained. "It's something I also remember him doing from working with Sven Goran Eriksson with England.

" Teddy came on and it was a bit of a gamble because we were a bit more open. One Bayern counter had us fearing it was all over but Mehmet Scholl chipped against the post and the rebound fell into Schmeichel's hands. That's when you get this feeling: "Hmm, interesting!" "

The rest is history. Solskjaer replaced Cole with nine minutes to go. As the 90 minutes were up, Sheringham turned into Giggs' shot for the equalizer. Before Bayern could recover from the shock, United won another corner, Sheringham flicked on Beckham's cross and Solskjaer stuck out for instant legendary status.

'All the Bayern players were on the floor – they didn't even because to kick off again. We knew we'd won it, "said McClaren. 'It was chaos with everyone jumping on everyone. I was so proud to have my mum and dad in the stage and my eldest son. He remembers it clearly to this day.

'Being a newer arrival on the United staff, there weren't enough medals for me to get one at the stage, but at the celebration dinner that night, David Gill ( United's finance director at the time) presented me with one. It was incredible – not bad for someone mistakenly called Steve McClaridge by the chairman (Martin Edwards) when I arrived!

'We had the parade back in Manchester which was amazing and then I was ready to drive off for a holiday. I was absolutely exhausted, but the gaffer called in staff for nine o'clock the next morning at The Cliff. So there we were, pots of tea, bacon butties, planning the next season! '

Ex-England boss McClaren left United for a career in management, most recently with QPR

McClaren left United two years later to become a manager himself. Though his career is framed by a failure with England to reach Euro 2008, his record is far better than he's given credit for.

He's the only manager in Middlesbrough's history to win a major trophy, the League Cup, and took them to the Uefa Cup final in 2006, with Gareth Southgate captain.

He won the Dutch title with FC Twente, reached a Championship play-off final with Derby and also managed Newcastle, Wolfsburg and, until a fortnight ago, QPR.

He passed the baton to another No 2s as Ferguson did with him. His assistant at Twente was Erik ten Hag, now the manager of Ajax, himself Champions League quarter-finalists.

It will be a thrill for McClaren to see Solskjaer become the first United manager since Ferguson to lead them out at the Nou Camp.

'Ole wasn't one of the players I automatically thought I would be a manager but the characteristics have changed. Ruling with a rod of iron isn't the way and Ole was a nice kid, studious, knew his role, very humble.

'The club's values ​​are returning. We were a good attacking transition team in 1999 and they are now. Alex always used to say at the end of the season he wanted clean sheets and I think Ole will feel the same.

'If there was one player from that Treble team that could use now it's probably Jaap Stam because he was a damned fine defender. The best one-on-one defender I have ever seen. "

United fans heading to Spain this week will doubtlessly serenade their new manager with 'Ole's at the Wheel." Perhaps Frank Sinatra's 'Fly me to the Moon' might also be appropriate in trying to stop Lionel Messi. It worked for Fergie and Steve McClaren at the Nou Camp in '99.

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[truereviewpage]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeatedly screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just after some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently it had seemed like they were going to vote in our favor, but in the end… denied. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall nor a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/

[statusreview]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeatedly screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just after some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently it had seemed like they were going to vote in our favor, but in the end… denied. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall nor a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes published first on https://ssmattress.tumblr.com/

[yesterdaysdreams]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeatedly screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just after some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently it had seemed like they were going to vote in our favor, but in the end… denied. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall nor a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

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Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeated screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof on it (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently, the panel of 4 people were split on our proposal, 2-to-2. At one point it had seemed like they were 3-to-1 in our favor, but something switched right at the end, and it wasn’t enough to pass. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall or a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

[lowmaticnews]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeated screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof on it (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently, the panel of 4 people were split on our proposal, 2-to-2. At one point it had seemed like they were 3-to-1 in our favor, but something switched right at the end, and it wasn’t enough to pass. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall or a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes published first on http://ift.tt/2hUI8pL

[lukerhill]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeated screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof on it (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently, the panel of 4 people were split on our proposal, 2-to-2. At one point it had seemed like they were 3-to-1 in our favor, but something switched right at the end, and it wasn’t enough to pass. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall or a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

[vincentbnaughton]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeated screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof on it (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently, the panel of 4 people were split on our proposal, 2-to-2. At one point it had seemed like they were 3-to-1 in our favor, but something switched right at the end, and it wasn’t enough to pass. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall or a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

[truereviewpage]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeatedly screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just after some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently it had seemed like they were going to vote in our favor, but in the end… denied. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall nor a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/

[truereviewpage]

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes

Our post on Instagram last night was admittedly a little cryptic. We were having an extra frustrating day thanks to two discouraging duplex-related blows that came flying at us rapid-fire, in the span of a mere 10 hours. We’ve always tried to share the bad and the ugly along with the good – like talking about blowing a timeline or breaking a budget (or a ceramic animal). Or when we can’t find the water meter for a month or we fail our irrigation inspection in three different and spectacular ways).

Sometimes on “Bad News Day 1” you don’t really feel like getting into all of the nitty-gritty details because you’re still in that “repeatedly screaming WHYYYY?!?!?” phase of things. But you also don’t want to just pretend everything’s ok and post something chipper with lots of happy little emojis when you literally want to use that big punching hand emoji to punch that day in the face. So the best post you can muster is an honest and semi-grouchy paragraph about how renovations aren’t always easy, but in the scheme of things there’s still lots to be grateful for (like family, health, pets, tiny vases shaped like houses, and cookies). Note: many cookies were harmed in the making of our down-in-the-dumps evening last night. 

But today is another day. Perspective usually comes after sleep (or just after some time in general) and we’re already feeling more clear-headed about the whole thing. And we have a Plan B that’s already rolling forward! Slowly rolling as if it’s riding a sloth, but it’s rolling. So we wanted to fill you all in. It all has to do with the beach duplex we’re renovating down the street from our pink beach house. Well, or at least TRYING to renovate.

We talked several weeks ago on our podcast (Episode #76) about some of the behind-the-scenes hurdles we had to clear before things could start moving, but those hurdles seem to just keep multiplying. Things that were simple when we did this last year for the pink house have become surprisingly complicated. For instance, when we were ready to begin work on the pink house we were able to pull a permit and begin right away. This time around we’ve been trying to pull our permit since November. And this place isn’t getting any safer/cleaner/less moldy.

The backstory, which we covered in podcast Episode #78, is that we’re proposing some exterior changes to the duplex, so the town’s Historic Review Board has to approve them. Most of it was small and basically a non-issue (tweaks to the front porch railing and stairs, for example). The biggest change was the roofline, because we were hoping to 1) raise the pitch of it and 2) add a dormer. The roof is effectively flat now, so increasing the slope will help it shed water better and allow us to put on a more affordable asphalt shingle roof (rather than an expensive and sometimes faulty rubber/metal flat roof). It would not only make it more reliable as a rental roof (definitely don’t want people calling to say there’s a leak during their beach week!) there are also hardly any other flat roofs in the historic district, so we thought they’d like that it would fit in better with the houses around it.

The dormer was really just for cuteness, since a lot of extremely similar homes within this historic town already have the exact roof pitch and dormer we were proposing. This picture sort of shows you what we were thinking the roofline/dormer would look like. This isn’t a house in town, just an inspiration pic we’ve been referencing that reminds us of the duplex:

We missed the November review board meeting by a hair, and the December one was postponed due to the holiday. They’re only held monthly, so yesterday, January 16th, was our first opportunity to present our changes and get approval. Our contractor Sean did the presenting for us, since he knows everyone and does this all the time (in fact, he was presenting two other projects last night along with ours). He’s a stickler for historical details and reassured us that he would never propose anything he didn’t expect to get approved. It’s a waste of his time and ours – delaying us both another month until we can re-propose it. So imagine all of our collective shock when our plans got rejected. That’s right, we waited months for this meeting and then we got turned down.

He called us after the meeting with the bad news, and we could hear in his voice that he was surprised and frustrated too. Apparently it had seemed like they were going to vote in our favor, but in the end… denied. Sean, John, and I were also frustrated (and extremely surprised! We never saw this coming!) because there are a lot of, in our humble opinions, more egregious additions and renovations around town that sailed through the approval process.

Who knows when and how they made that happen, but it felt like ours didn’t even register on the same scale – let alone rise to the level of getting rejected. We don’t fault the members of the board for trying to protect the integrity of the town (that’s their job!) and we can’t even claim to have a ton of historic architecture knowledge – but one thing is certain: we were only attempting to do something that several other recently-fixed-up homes in the historic district had already done without being rejected. And even Windex wouldn’t help.

So we said “Ok, Plan B – we’ll scrap the dormer!” But even by conceding that, we still have to wait over a month for their February 25th meeting to re-propose it. And then, assuming it’s approved, we have to wait 30 MORE days to be issued our permit thanks to a new waiting period they’ve just begun imposing this year. Which means that we won’t have a permit in our hands to begin working on this house until March 25th. Almost April. For two people who have been itching to fix this poor house up since November, well, a five-month delay pretty much makes you feel like you’re taking crazy pills.

The whole no dormer thing makes us sad, but we can let it go. Sure it would’ve been cute, but it also added to our cost (so we’re killing two birds here!) and if the cutest thing the duplex has going for it in the end is a little dormer on the roof, whelp, we’ve got bigger problems. So we’re trying to shift our focus to all of the OTHER improvements we’ll get to make, both inside and out. Plus Plan B, which is a slightly less pitched roof without the dormer, sort of like this (pardon my bad iPhone coloring job) is still pretty charming – and we have every reason to believe it’ll sail through the approval process because they mentioned they’d favor that option in the meeting yesterday.

It’ll look approximately 58 times more adorable and lovely because we’re also widening the stairs, making the pillars more substantial/historically accurate (as well as the railing), going with white siding with mint green shutters, and restoring those lovely diamond grilled windows in the top middle of the house. And the entire board has no issue with any of that. So unless we are living in some sort of alternate reality (is this The Bad Place? You know we love this show) we should get approval in the next meeting, and finally get down to business in late March/early April. It’s just hard to smile about that when you’ve been waiting so long.

We also mentioned there was a financial blow, which was just a really (really really) high quote from a subcontractor that we didn’t expect at all. We found another sub who can do the job within our budget (and he’s great! we actually used him before!) but it took a few hours of panicked calls that we didn’t expect to be making, so the entire day sort of felt like a bad duplex omen from the start. It was like I was in that scene from Entrapment where Catherine Zeta Jones weaves her latex-covered body through a maze of lasers, except picture me in Minion footie pajamas tripping around and getting all caught up in blown deadlines and budget-breaking estimates.

This stuff definitely happens, and it’s not that we didn’t expect it. We expect curveballs. But we haven’t even started yet! Nary a piece of mildewed drywall nor a single foam ceiling tile has been removed. And considering we just spent the last year fixing up a house that’s ONE FREAKING HOUSE AWAY from this one and none of these early-on issues popped up, it just caught us off guard. But there’s that awesome quote by Veronica Dearly that I’m keeping in mind these days. Because guys, it’s totally true:

You can do hard things (but only after you’ve totally freaked out about them. Once you’ve done that you should be fine.) 

Whelp, the good news is that we should be fine, because last night we officially freaked out. HA! It felt remarkably like when we couldn’t find the beach house’s water meter for a month. Except add a bunch of other months to that. And kill off a cute little dormer (R.I.P. Norma The Dormer – best said with a Boston accent). But today we’re back on track. Even better, we’re on a mission. We’re following some leads that there might be some way to get around the 60-day hold that we’re in right now – and already have some calls in to a few different people so feel free to hold your breath with us! And whenever we actually get this place is done (2027? will there be flying cars?), we think it’s gonna be PRETTY FREAKING GREAT. We’re so excited about all the plans and ideas we have baking for this duplex project of ours.

In closing, I will say that while it’s never fun to share your whiny-pants with the world, this is real. Real dollars. Real timelines. And real disappointment. So it just felt like it wouldn’t have been even a little bit authentic to act like all of this crap in the background wasn’t happening (or that it wasn’t affecting us). Because we are humans. Humans who, as it turns out, can eat a remarkable number of cookies while mourning a dormer and a woefully busted timeline.

The post Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes appeared first on Young House Love.

Why Renovations Can Make You Want To Scream Into A Pillow Sometimes published first on https://aireloomreview.tumblr.com/