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astraystayyh · 6 months

Text

The snow falls, we fall apart.

summary: when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

genre: producer student!hyunjin x reader. roommates!au. friends to lovers. acute descriptions of heartbreak and general sadness. slow burn. hurt/comfort. healing and hopeless romantic hyune. very inspired by long for you so lots of pining and yearning. (wc: 13k)

warnings: mentions of alcohol. it is implied that reader was in an a very toxic relationship but no details are shared.

a.n: happy birthday to my hyunjin, my muse, my light. thank you for being so full of love that it made me love love again in return. this is i think my most personal piece, and i hope it reminds those who need it that love should be soft and kind, that it shouldn’t hurt, that it should heal not break. i love you guys and i love you my xi, writing this collab with you has been a true honor <3 also!! please listen to long for you while reading :,)

winter falls masterlist.

You’ve only ever felt utter despair twice in your life.

First, when you were seven years old, playing hide and seek with your cousins at your grandma’s house. It was a warm summer afternoon, the air sweetened by pastries you devoured hours ago. You decided to hide in a wooden cabinet up in the attic, only to end up stuck there. The walls felt like they were closing in on you, the oxygen seeping away from the cracks underneath the door, leaving you deprived of air, of life.

Second, at twelve, when you've come to discover sorrow's new facet, clad in grief's heavy cloak. Your parents adopted a hamster for your birthday, but they did not know he had a terminal disease. You were distraught, to say the least, when you awoke to its still form, death claiming a frail heart unaware of its imminent fate.

And now, third, many many moons later, you are knocking on Hyunjin’s door a few minutes after midnight. It is cold out, tears tracing rivulets on your cheeks, your fingers tinted pink from roaming outside in the harsh winds, your heart much heavier than when you were a child. More grief-stricken, at your own hands, this time.

A disheveled Hyunjin opens the door, his blonde ash hair tousled and sticking upwards, a clear indication of the many times he had run his hands through it in fits of frustration. His gray hoodie zipped up hastily, revealing the silver cross necklace he was wearing, nestling perfectly against his honeyed skin.

You've always had an aversion to seeking comfort, saw it as revealing your deepest vulnerabilities to a world that isn't always kind. It was easier, much simpler to do so when you were a clueless child— when you sank in your cousin Lia's hold as she attempted to steady your breathing, when your mother cradled you in her lap after Pinky died.

It is much harder now, much more embarrassing because Hyunjin has never seen you this sad, never glimpsed your shadows that now swarm his doorstep, unannounced.

“What's wrong?” he quickly asks, eyes darting over your figure in a rapid search for visible wounds. He wouldn’t find any. All your injuries stem from within— blood doesn’t have to be spilled for your heart to weep.

You had rehearsed a lie as you walked up to his doorstep. You would say that your car broke down near his place and ask if you could stay over for the night. He would insist he could drive you to your place and you’d refuse, saying that it was too late and you did not wish to bother him. You’d sleep on the couch and slip away in the early hours of the morning.

Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that dismantles the fortress you've hidden in, melts the lie in your throat, morphing it into a steel lump coiling in your throat. He looks concerned when all you’ve had directed towards you recently was anger. And you missed someone looking at you in care, not reproach.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” You admit, your voice shattered, fragments of your vocal cords scattered out in the wind like a broken mosaic, the sound of it scraping against your ears.

Blow one hurt. It felt like your body turned against you as it deprived you of oxygen. The sobs that escaped you once you perceived the light pained you, perhaps more than being confined in the darkness.

Blow two was even worse, it was your first time experiencing grief. It was too hard of a concept for your innocent heart to grasp, too complicated for you to find solace in anything as adults do.

You promised yourself that you’d reserve blow three for monumental agonies— big pains and big sorrows only. That’s how you managed to keep all your tears at bay for most of your life. Would they be worth losing your third sob for? No, you've always found the answer to be.

And in all the twisted scenarios you’ve conjured up in your mind, deaths and illnesses and the haunting tale of failure, you did not imagine that it would happen on Hwang Hyunjin’s doorstep. That you’d burst into sobs at the compassionate look in his gaze, and the sad smile he sent your way. As if he knew, as everyone did around you. That you had handed a knife to a serial killer and it was only a matter of time before he stabbed you in the heart.

Two weeks ago.

“I’m trying to understand you but you aren’t helping me,” Seungmin is frustrated as he paces relentlessly before you from left to right like a swinging pendulum. You sit on the couch, beholding only his shoes, avoiding his gaze that would reflect the truth you dare not confront.

“He’s sucking the life out of you, can’t you see that?”

You can, out of everyone that surrounds you, you can see it the most. You feel as if you are carrying a skin that isn’t your own, weighed down by a relationship that has taken everything from you. But admitting it is admitting that you were wrong, in trusting him, in loving him. You couldn’t bear it.

“We are fine!” you shout back, the defiance in your voice surprises even you. This is a familiar script with Seungmin, a recurring conversation spurred by your puffy eyes and diminishing appetite. He tells you, begs you to leave, but where could you go? How could you leave a home where you've shed all your treasured belongings at the door— your skin, your bones, your very self.

What place would welcome you now that you're stripped bare of your soul?

“When was the last time he made you smile, huh? All he does is hurt you, and you...” he chuckles incredulously, running his hand through his hair. “You are letting him.”

Deny, deny, deny.

“This isn’t true. He loves me,” the words taste foreign in your mouth like rusty metal dragging across your lips. A small voice whispers that love shouldn't feel like this, but you quiet it down.

“Are you hearing yourself? Yn, I…” he kneels before you, his hands resting comfortingly on your knees. This is Seungmin, your best friend of five years. You know he has your best interests at heart, you are even more sure of it when his voice softens, shakes slightly when he utters your name. “Yn, please. I’m trying to help you. Please.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” you push away his hands, standing up. “I don’t want your help, and I don’t need it.”

You quickly leave Seungmin’s dorm, your heart heavier than when you entered it, foolishly hoping that he'd ignore your distressed state after yet another fight with your boyfriend. But Seungmin doesn't understand, no one around you does— you’ve gambled your heart, and you cannot stop drawing the cards, even in the face of losing strikes.

❁ ❁ ❁

Hyunjin offers you a cup of tea with a gentle smile and you grab the steaming drink from his hands. The smell of chamomile wraps around your senses, and your brain fizzles out for a second before the soothing aroma. But it is a fleeting respite, the tempest of your thoughts crashes back onto you with an unsettling force, causing you to almost drop the drink as your hands shake. You place it down the table without taking a sip.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced,” you apologize, wincing at the intrusion, “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I always sleep late. Don’t worry about it,” he smiles, but you know it isn’t a genuine grin, because his eyes betray an unsubdued concern, refusing to morph into their usual moon crescents.

You’ve always thought that Hyunjin wears his emotions openly— when he laughed, he did so loudly, his boisterous giggles traveling around Seungmin’s dorm. When he hurt himself, everyone in the vicinity would know so from his loud yelps. And when something worried him, he would bite his lip, toying with the plush flesh to ease his nerves.

As he is doing now. Looking at you.

“We broke up,” you quickly say, and your words hang over you like a gloomy cloud. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want me to fight him? I’ll bring changbin too,” he suggests a serious tone underlying his playful offer, and it manages to tear a reluctant giggle out of you.

“Changbin doesn’t know me well enough to fight for me,” you counteract and he shakes his head. “He’ll fight for me, I'm his princess.”

“Are you now?” The giggle escapes your mouth less forcefully, and the smile that graces Hyunjin’s face is a genuine one.

“I am. My proposal stands,” he extends his hand and you wrap your fingers around his palm. “Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind,” you smile but he frowns, flipping your hand around in his hold.

“You are freezing,” he whispers, using his other palm to rub warmth into yours.

“It’s fine,” you lie, slipping your hand out of his grasp, not feeling deserving of his kindness.

Wordlessly, Hyunjin stands, walking into what you assume is his bedroom. You only know of his place because you dropped off Seungmin here some time ago. You are too exhausted to even drink in the interior.

“Here,” he returns, handing you a navy hoodie of his and black joggers. “This will keep you warm at night.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, hesitating for a few seconds before speaking again. “Can you please not tell Seungmin, I... I can't face him right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be awake still if you do need something.”

Hyunjin’s clothing is warm, although peeling away your own garments felt like shedding layers of your skin, as if the fabric melted into your very flesh, just like memories from the day did. You have never felt this worthless before, discarded like a forgotten leaf on the roadside, one he stepped on for his own enjoyment, leaving you crushed in his wake, unable to fly away again.

Hyunjin’s rose perfume wraps around you, and you find relief in sleeping somewhere where your, his, scent was no longer around. You foolishly hope that if you close your eyes hard enough, you’ll manage to convince yourself that you’re someone else, tonight. Someone who isn’t tethered to the heartache, someone who can slip away from the clutches of a love that hurts more than hate could ever manage to do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Heartbreak isn’t beautiful, no matter how eloquently you try to dress it in the syllables of poetry, no words can soften the burn in your lungs, the searing ache that courses through your very core, reminding you that deep within, down to the fundamentals of your being and the most basic alchemy that ties your atoms together— you are unlovable. Whether you cut your hair or allow it to grow, change your heart, or leave it as it has always been, you will remain so.

You don’t remember much of the past week, blurry fragments here and there that float in your mind like a distorted water reflection. There is little room for memories when you are busy trying to remember how to breathe— one inhale in, one exhale out. The simple concept seems harder when there are unkind hands permanently lodged into your heart, squeezing it tight.

What you do remember is telling Seungmin through text the next day, because you couldn’t bear the way his eyes would soften if you spoke to him in person. No signs of surprise cast on his figure, because he knew that it was long coming, a train with one final inevitable destination— you in shambles, him okay.

You remember Seungmin cradling you in his arms when he came to see you, and you trying desperately to keep the tears at bay— too focused on pinching your arm to let Seungmin’s warmth radiate through your being, Hyunjin lingering uncomfortably by the entrance of his living room.

You remember begging Seungmin to grab your belongings from the apartment you shared with your ex because you were unable to face him, him, and everything that your old place spelled out for you. Stand in the ruins of what you once thought would be your permanent home.

And now, you watch as Seungmin and Hyunjin bring suitcases full of your stuff into the latter’s place. And you feel like an outsider in your own body, standing at the corner of the room gazing at utter destruction, unable to stop it, unable to mend it. Seungmin quickly reassures you that you could crash in his and Minho’s place until you find a new one to live in, already taking out his laptop to search for new apartments for you.

But you did not care for it, your eyes zeroed in on the satin shirt peeking out of your suitcase. The one he bought you on your first month anniversary. Back when love felt like a gentle feather running down your spine, and not a dull knife slicing away at your skin.

“This place's expensive too,” Seungmin sighs, rubbing his temple warily. Your logical best friend could not fix your heartbreak but he took it to heart to alleviate your other troubles. You would thank him for it, later, when your tongue finds enough will to move.

“What if you move in with me?” Hyunjin suddenly says and his words filtrate through the fog in your mind easily, as if he rehearsed them enough times so they’d roll out smoothly out of his mouth. “I mean, Felix is away for the next year since he went back to Australia. And I was looking for a new roommate anyway.” He shrugs and Seungmin turns to look at you, his eyes convey the question his mouth doesn’t articulate— is it okay with you?

“I don’t…” your voice is croaked, so you clear your throat. “I don’t want you to do things out of pity.”

“I’m not. If I was, I would've told you to move in with me for free. I still need you to pay rent,” he raises his eyebrows, a playful tease and you smile in relief, nodding, “Okay, I will. thank you.”

Heartbreak is ugly and all-encompassing, weaving through the roots of your heart and infecting each organ with its insidious touch. It renders you immobile, incapable of performing the simplest tasks, burdened by a weight unseen by the world. But you try your best, your very best to contain it.

You smile at the cashier as she hands back your money only to wonder if her soft, well-manicured hands would too crush a soul without remorse. You go to all your classes without fail but your mind is elsewhere, contemplating why the sun filtering through the windows no longer warms your skin. Can nerve endings perish when subjected to too much pain? What's left of life when you can no longer feel the caress of the sun?

You watch a movie at Seungmin's dorm but your mind is elsewhere, fleeting to this morning and how you refused to stay in the shower for more than three minutes because your thoughts might become haunting ghosts tempting you to follow them. You brush your hair and spray your perfume, only because you have to, because you live with Hyunjin and you wouldn’t want your sadness to taint him too. You wonder how long you’ll have to bear it. You wonder if it’ll ever leave you or if the veins in your heart have molded themselves after the pain and they wouldn’t know how to accept happiness anymore.

You greet Hyunjin as he walks past you, shaking your head when he asks you if you want to eat dinner with him, quickly retracting back into your room. You have ten unread messages and a pile of growing laundry you need to do, but all you can muster is to gaze at the empty walls, mirroring the void within you. Your mom told you to call her again and you don’t know how you’ll speak to her without bursting into a sob, how you’ll tell her that all it took was one person to break you. Or maybe it was two people, your hands and his tearing apart your flesh and bones. Maybe that’s the worst part about it. So you don’t call her.

And you only ever emerge from your room when you need to, just like now because your water bottle is finished and you need to refill it. You go to open the kitchen door when you hear Hyunjin’s muted shatter, Felix’s distinctive deep voice coming out of the phone speaker.

“Next you add the melted butter and stir it,” Felix instructs, the sounds of pots and utensils clinking in the background. You fidget slightly, mustering the strength to paint a fake smile on your lips.

“What next?”

“Sift the dry ingredients then add them to your wet mixture,” Felix explains, met with a few seconds of silence. You can almost visualize Hyunjin's perplexed expression, blinking rapidly in confusion.

“Explain it to me like I’m five years old,” he requests, prompting a small smile to etch itself onto your face.

“How are you surviving without me?”

“I’m not please come home,” Hyunjin sounds horrified as Felix’s rich chuckles fill the air. “Why do you suddenly want to make brownies anyway?” he then asks.

You go to open the door when Hyunjin’s response catches you off guard.

“They’re for Yn.”

Hyunjin's words resonate in the air, causing a hitch in your throat and Felix’s teasing whistles simultaneously, but Hyunjin is quick to stop him. “No, no, no, it’s not like that. They’re just a bit down and I remember them loving your brownies. So…”

It takes you a fleeting moment to dig the memory out of your mind, a year ago, right before your ex came to pick you up from Seungmin’s dorm. You had a bite of Felix’s brownies, a surprised gasp escaping your lips at its delicious taste, back when food had taste and happiness came easily to you. It was an insignificant memory, you did not imagine Hyunjin, out of everyone, would remember it.

But he did, and he’s now pacing before your closed door, contemplating how he’ll convince you to finally eat something with him. He throws a thumbs-up in the air for no one but himself, inhaling deeply before knocking on your door.

“Hey,” he greets with a hopeful smile, his gaze meeting your tired form. He hesitates for a second, clearing his throat. “Brownies?” You remain unmoving and he falters, “Hm? Please?”

“Sure,” you nod and a wave of relief floods through Hyunjin as you step out of your room. His joy is short-lived when he takes the brownies out of the oven, only to find them thoroughly burnt.

His mouth hangs agape, and he walks back shamefully to the oven, lowering its door only to scream inside of it.

“This will be more therapeutic,” you say, pointing nonchalantly to the fridge and he agrees, opening its doors and yelling once again in the much larger space.

Your melodic laughter fills the kitchen, Hyunjin’s embarrassment is suddenly a forgotten memory.

“I’m craving kimbap. Should we get it instead?” you propose, a touch shyly and he quickly agrees, afraid you’d change your mind and walk back to your room where he can no longer ensure you are okay.

Hyunjin absentmindedly dances along to the music blasting through the convenience store when a girl sidles up to his side, a saccharine grin on her lips as she looks up at him, “hi,” she greets and his tentative smile mirrors hers. “Hey.”

“Are you single?” she asks, her gaze briefly fleeting to the window. “I think you are really cute.”

“I’m…” he glances at you but you're suddenly engrossed in the ingredients of the tuna kimbap you are holding, pretending not to listen. “I am but I’m not interested, thank you.”

“Oh, come on,” she places a hand on his arm and he physically recoils. “Give me your insta and we could talk.”

“No,” he repeats, grabbing her hand to remove it when a loud voice startles him. “Baby, what’s taking you so— What are you doing?” Hyunjin watches in horror as the girl’s eyes grow wide, before she scrambles to the man’s side, feigning fear.

“He kept hitting on me when I said I had a boyfriend, baby.”

“What?” both you and Hyunjin gasped in comical unison. He would find it amusing if not for the escalating anger radiating from the man, who looks like he spends all his days in the gym. Hyunjin suddenly regrets not working out with Changbin.

The man strides towards Hyunjin. “Do you want to die?”

“No? there’s a misunderstanding,” he replies, swiftly standing before you and shielding you with his arm. “Your… baby,” he wiggles his finger in front of the man's face, “she was the one hitting on me!”

The man scoffs loudly, his face growing redder from the anger seething in him. “So you hit on my girlfriend and then accuse her of cheating?” His fist rises threateningly, prompting Hyunjin to step back, accidentally bumping into your chest.

“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s go talk outside, man to man,” Hyunjin pauses, his voice taking on a taunting edge, “unless you're too scared?” he smirks as he feels you pull at his shirt, whispering an incredulous- “What are you doing?” He shakes his head, grabbing your hand and leading you outside, throwing a sly wink at the man behind you now.

“Are you seriously going to fight him?” you ask, your gaze shifting towards the deranged couple who are about to step out of the grocery store. “No, of course not. I'm a lover, not a fighter.”

“You said you'd fight my ex,” you point out and his eyes soften surprisingly.

“You are an exception.” He looks back at the man, who's now walking towards you both. “But anyways, do you know how to run?” he asks and you frown, “who doesn’t know how to—” you pause as realization dawns on you. “No," you whisper furiously.

“Yes.”

“No,” you shake your head, horrified and he nods, eyes apologetic.

“Yes.” His fingers entwine with yours, he squeezes your hand once before he takes off running.

“Hwang fucking Hyunjin!” you shout and he looks back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “I’m sorry Yn my face is too pretty to be beaten up.”

“He’s following us!” you yell, looking back horrified as the, even angrier, man runs after you.

“Well, run faster!”

“I’m wearing fucking slippers!” you curse and he giggles, tipping his head back, the wind slamming into you both, his hand never letting go of your own.

“Oh my god why is he still running!” you groan and Hyunjin picks up speed, moving you even closer to his sprinting figure

“I know, is it ever that serious?” he yells above his shoulder and you dig your nails into his palm.

“Shut up, this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so gorgeous.”

“So, you think I’m pretty too?” Hyunjin grins proudly and an incredulous laugh escapes your lips.

“Really? Is this what you’re getting out of this situation?”

“Silver linings, Yn, silver linings,” he shouts as you round a small alley, finally stopping to catch your breath. You both fall to the ground, heavy breaths escaping your chests.

“Holy shit, I’m not athletic at all,” he heaves, his eyes meeting yours. He expects to find anger lingering in your gaze but all he can grasp is your amused smile before you collapse into a fit of laughter, clapping loudly and clutching your stomach with your hand.

“Oh my god, I’m crying,” you laugh harder, wiping away at the tears falling from your eyes. Hyunjin’s weariness disappears in the blink of an eye— he did not realize how much he missed your smile until he glimpsed it again. And it is beautiful. Happiness looks beautiful on you.

“Idiot,” you hit his shoulder playfully, and his response is delayed for a few seconds, the warmth from your smile rendering him immobile.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, pulling you up. “Here, I’ll carry you home,” he squats slightly before you. “How impolite of me. How dare I make your majesty run.”

You shake your head, amused, before climbing atop his back, his warm palms holding your thighs securely. “Only because the slippers hurt my feet.”

You walk in silence for a while, your arms wound up around Hyunjin’s neck, the ghost of a smile still lingering on both your faces.

“They said it will snow tomorrow,” Hyunjin speaks suddenly and you stay silent for so long he starts to wonder if you even heard him.

“Mm? That’s nice,” your tone is melancholic, and he pauses at the peculiar sadness in it— as though you were trying to act nonchalant about something that has once meant the world to you.

“Don’t you like the snow?” he asks and your hold on his neck falters.

“I loved it. Loved ice skating and building snowmen.” Your voice is light and airy, like Hyunjin’s favorite mint chocolate ice cream. “But now it reminds me of bad times, bad memories.”

“I understand.”

Hyunjin knows what it feels like to relinquish parts of yourself you never wished to part from. For someone to grab your happiest places and to cast a gloomy filter atop them. Sometimes it is the loss of a season that hurts more than the departure of a person.

And Hyunjin loves winter.

He’ll do everything so that you’ll come to love it again too.

❁ ❁ ❁

Is it a nightmare if the person in it is one you once loved, looked forward to beholding with your gaze, hoping they’d never slip out of your reach? You don’t know, but you are growing tired of having the same dreams every night. Of waking up with an exhaustion that goes beyond your restless sleep but pleads from your soul to rest after almost a year of torment.

You sigh wearily, rubbing a hand through your face before walking to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. You find Hyunjin there, eating a cupcake while standing shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You blink at the sight.

“Hey,” you clear your throat and he startles, dropping the cupcake on the ground. He goes to pick it up only to bang his head on the table, a loud yelp escaping his lips. You barely contain your giggles as you walk to his side, rubbing your palm soothingly on his head. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you.”

“At least pretend you are sorry,” he mumbles, pointing to your amused smile and you chuckle, taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

“What are you doing up now?” he asks as he grabs some napkins to clean up the pink frosting smeared across the floor.

You hesitate for a few seconds before whispering, “Just nightmares. And you?” you quickly add, not keen on pushing the subject any further.

“I'm working on a song,” he explains, as his gaze lingers on your sunken eyes, weighed down by dark circles from too many sleepless nights.

“And the cupcake?”

“Some people need caffeine to function. I need flour.”

“I literally see you drink three americanos per day.”

“Okay well maybe I need both,” he admits sheepishly and you grin, drumming your fingers along the countertop.

“Can I sit with you while you work?” you ask quickly, before the words linger enough in your mouth that you no longer wish to spit them out.

The smile that Hyunjin sends you is kind, pushing the shadows of your nightmares just slightly out of reach.

“Of course, yeah you can. Don’t even need to ask.”

Hyunjin walks first into his bedroom, quickly slipping on a hoodie while you take in the interior. It is a quite simple room— a large bed with gray covers, and a desk filled with what you assume to be his producing equipment sits adjacent. But what catches your attention is the dried rose hung delicately on the wall, and the array of paintings surrounding it. You edge closer to it, drawn to the well-crafted paintings— a sun-drenched beach, a couple lost in an embrace so intimate their forms can no longer be separated, and an elderly pair riding a motorcycle, their love radiating vibrantly as if enclosed in eternal youth.

“You paint?” you ask, turning around to find Hyunjin watching you. He steps closer, enveloping you once more in the fragrance of his rose perfume.

“In my free time.”

“You are amazing, Hyunjin,” you compliment sincerely, your gaze fixed on that imagery of the old couple, one that most likely grew together. It tugs at your heartstrings, stirs a painful longing within you, a memory of a time when you too believed you’d find such boundless love.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, before brushing his fingertips gently against your forearm, for a fleeting second. “Are you okay?” he asks, a tenderness you’ve been aching for latched into his question. Your eyes refuse to peel away from the paintings and the love spilling from each paint brush stroke, a love that refuses to rest on your being as if you were harboring an armor that repels it.

“No,” you reply sincerely, turning to face him. “It’s really hard,” you say with a smile, hoping that the mechanical display of happiness would keep your tears at bay, tricking your brain into believing you're not as sad as you feel.

It fails to do so, and the tears well in your eyes like a gathering storm. Frustration twists your features as you shut your eyes, tilting your head upward in a desperate attempt to contain the flood. It pauses as Hyunjin cradles the back of your head, drawing you close to the warmth of his neck. His palm glides soothingly along your spine, before patting your back ever so gently.

Your back stiffens, hands curling into tight fists, breath catching in your throat. You've grown accustomed to pushing away comfort, putting up tall barriers to shield yourself. But tonight, Hyunjin seems to break through your defenses.

Tonight, you soften, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, head nestling deeper against his tender skin.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispers and another sob wracks through you, but he only holds you tighter. “It’ll get better soon.”

“I loved him,” you hiccup, your voice breaks, “a lot.”

“I know, that’s why it hurts.” His voice is gentle, and yet his hold on you feels secure as if you could stumble and fall, and he would be there to catch you

“I want it to stop hurting.”

“It will, with time.”

Your next words are tinged with a childlike vulnerability, reminiscent of blow one, then two. But you do not care for it, in that instant, you crave the reassurance, you need someone to plant a seed of hope in your soul because your hands are too frail to dig for it.

“Do you promise me?”

His response doesn’t come hastily, carelessly thrown into the air like idle chatters. He takes his time, considering it with the gravity of an oath.

“I promise you.” He finally says, each syllable infused with sincerity. A brief pause hangs in the air before he adds. “And if it doesn’t then you can hit me.”

“On your pretty face?” you ask, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

“On my pretty face,” he confirms with a chuckle.

“What an honor,” you roll your eyes playfully as you lean back and he grins, tenderly wiping away your tears with the back of his fingers.

“I can't believe it took three minutes for you to cry in my room. This isn’t good for my reputation.”

“Good thing this will never leave this bedroom, right?” you point a finger at him threateningly, and he pretends to zip his lips, tossing away the imaginary key. “You got it.”

“So what are you working on?” you ask as you settle on the edge of his bed, knees drawn up to your chest.

“It’s a pretty sad song, wanna hear?” he offers, sitting across from you on his chair.

“Yeah, I'd love to,” you smile, and Hyunjin deftly adjusts a few buttons, before his melancholic whistles weave through the air, coupled with the somber melody of a piano. Your breath catches in your throat, the music reaching into the very depths of your soul. It's as if the notes are calling out for a loved one, for a time that has long passed, for a past that will never come back no matter how much we long for it.

The instrumental continues, each piano note and each violin string echo like a bittersweet lament, springing tears to your eyes. But the melody remains beautiful, akin to the beauty always found in the sadness— in the tears that cascade down your cheeks like glistening crystals, in the tremble of your hands akin to branches swaying in the wind, in the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, mirroring the ebb and flow of the waves.

Hyunjin watches you intently as the music envelops you both, his gaze softening with each passing moment. You bring a hand to your chest, almost unconsciously, too engrossed in the melody to even blink. He feels a blush sprout on his cheeks as your teary eyes hold his with the last fading guitar strings.

“You keep on making me cry,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion, and he grins, tilting his head shyly against his shoulder.

“You like it?” he asks, a tad eager and you nod, not bothering to wipe the lone tears that are falling down your cheeks.

“I think this is what my loneliness sounds like,” you confess softly.

“As do mine.”

A silent beat runs between you both, it isn’t uncomfortable, but safe. Because you understand him, just as he understands you.

“Sometimes I long for things that have passed," he admits, “although I know I can't get them anymore.”

“The most terrible thing you can long for is yourself.”

“Because no one’s to blame for that loss but you?” he muses and you nod, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, exactly.”

You bite your lip, casting a glance back at the paintings adorning the wall. “I don't love him anymore,” you begin quietly. “I stopped a long time ago because there was no room for love anymore to grow amid weeds and thorns.”

He remains silent, sensing that this is a weight you need to unburden yourself from.

“But in the midst of it I think I stopped loving myself too,” you whisper, a confession too terrible to be uttered out loud. “That's what I long for. The things I used to love that I'm indifferent to now.”

“Like you’re a stranger before everything once familiar to you.”

“Yeah, you express it prettily,” you remark with a small smile.

“It's my job,” he grins lightly.

“I think when your heart is pure,” he begins after a while, pausing to carefully choose the words that will soothe your burn, help sleep come more easily to you. “You give love to others more readily than you do to yourself. And it takes time, patience, to redirect that love back to your own heart once again. But it's not a mistake to love, you shouldn’t hate yourself for it. Nor should you blame your past self for loving the wrong person because they did not know what you now do.”

“Think of it as a caterpillar in their cocoon,” he continues gently, “when they finally emerge from their chrysalis, they might long for who they were, where they once were because it is the only place they've ever known. But they do not realize that they've transformed into a beautiful butterfly, that they can now fly, and witness much more than their chrysalis. So maybe, your new self will love the same things as before, or maybe you’ll find new, better things to love that you would have not known before. But in either way, your heart is beautiful. That is what matters, no?”

A small pout draws on your lips, your eyebrows scrunched as you gaze at him.

“You have a very tender soul, Hyunjin.”

Your words linger in Hyunjin's mind long after the sunrise, as you lay peacefully asleep on his bed. The melody of the instrumental he produced continues to play faintly in the background, serving as a gentle lullaby that eases you into slumber, entwined in his sheets, your arms wrapped protectively around yourself, one hand cradling your shoulders and the other resting gently on your stomach. The image sears into his eyes as he sketches the outlines of a figure holding itself absentmindedly, long into the night.

Hyunjin has had his fair share of compliments, mostly pertaining to his face, and others to his craft. but it is you who seems to have sensed that a part of his soul resided in his art, that he left pieces of his heart hidden in the notes he composes and the lyrics he writes, hoping they’ll find soft hands that will take care of them, just like your own.

Five days later.

hyunjin [11:34 p.m.]: are you home?

yn [11:34 p.m.]: yeahh, do you need anything?

hyunjin [11:35 p.m.]: come downstairs, im waiting for youu

if you say no i’ll freeze to death..

hurry i can’t feel my fingers anymore (please please) ㅠㅠㅠ

“This better be a life and death situation Hwang Hyunjin,” you say threateningly as soon as you appear before Hyunjin, causing him to straighten up from the wall he was leaning against.

“It is a very dangerous life-altering situation that requires your immediate assistance, indeed,” he responds solemnly, ushering you gently to his car and opening the door for you.

“Which is?” you ask as soon as he settles inside the car and he simply grins at you, his left dimple coming forth like the very sun on a gloomy day.

“You’ll see.”

Hyunjin’s eyes fleet to your figure every now and then, but you do not seem to notice, your gaze lost into the blurring lights ahead. He can tell you're still not entirely yourself, so he was prepared to forcibly drag you along with him. He’s almost surprised you accepted to come down so easily.

“Is that… Seungmin?” you speak suddenly, pointing to a man waving in the distance, as Hyunjin parks his car near an empty field.

“And Changbin? And Minho?” you continue, squinting your eyes, “and a bonfire?” you giggle with a hint of excitement.

“You love s’mores during the winter, right?”

Hyunjin smiles, your soul softens.

“I do,” you say quietly, “I really do.”

You quickly exit the car, running into Seungmin's arms with a grin of disbelief plastered on your face. “This is insane,” you almost shout, squeezing him tight in a hug.

“It was so hard to find the perfect middle of nowhere for this,” Minho grumbles as you move to greet him, but the warmth of his embrace assures you he's only teasing.

“Thank you,” you say with a smile as you hug Changbin, who affectionately ruffles your hair. “It was Hyunjin’s idea,” he reveals, and you glance back at Hyunjin, who stands with his hands buried deep within his sweatpants behind you. You mouth a silent “thank you” to him, but he shakes his head modestly as if it is nothing to bring happiness to a bruised heart.

The night unfolds in endless laughter, with Minho and Hyunjin taking turns roasting marshmallows over the crackling bonfire, and Seungmin serving you hot coffee to keep your hands warm. Your stomach aches from the uncontrollable fits of giggles that overtook your being as Minho recounts the time he danced so vigorously on stage for his dance club that he ripped his pants, feeling a breeze where there shouldn't be one; and Changbin tells you the story of the time his voice cracked in the middle of a rap battle, and how none of the boys stopped teasing him about it for months to come.

And as the four of them take turns making you laugh, a quiet, tender realization dawns on you—you are loved. It is something he tried to convince you was impossible, that no one around truly cared for you but him. And even then, you weren’t deserving of his love whole, only scrapes of it, as if you were a beggar tugging at the outskirts of his heart.

But Hyunjin reminded you otherwise. And if your friends found something worthy of love within you then perhaps so will you again, one day.

“Did you have fun?” Hyunjin asks as he opens the door to his, your, apartment hours later. What he doesn't expect is for you to respond by wrapping your arms around his slender torso, squeezing tight in gratitude.

“Thank you,” you whisper and he nods, though you cannot see him, returning the embrace by wrapping his arms around your shoulder blades.

Hyunjin doesn't let go first, sensing that perhaps you need this hug more than he does. He smiles as your eyes meet his again, but his grin falters when he notices your gaze flickering towards your bedroom, a hint of unease clouding your expression. It's as if behind that door lie monsters only you can grasp, wearing the faces of people you once knew, once loved.

“Wanna stay with me while I work on the song?”

“Last time I ended up sleeping on your bed,” you say a bit shamefully, recalling the morning you woke up to find yourself covered with a thick blanket that wasn’t there before, alone in Hyunjin's room.

“It's okay,” he shrugs, “I missed sleeping on the couch.”

You stare pointedly at him and he chuckles, “Fine, I did not miss it. But you needed the sleep, so it’s okay with me.”

“Fine,” you concede, though you did not need much convincing for it. “But only if you promise you’ll wake me up if I end up falling asleep again.”

Hyunjin tilts his head, thinking to himself for a few seconds before shaking his head stubbornly, a small pout drawn on his face, his eyes semi-closed. “No.”

“Hyunjin!”

“Nu-uh,” he insists, shaking his head once more as he walks back towards his room. “I'm waiting for you!”

“I'm not coming!”

But you do eventually join him, after changing your clothes and washing your face. You find Hyunjin clad in beige and white checkered pajamas, his glasses pushing back his silky hair as he hunches over his journal, scribbling away before erasing what he wrote.

“Struggling with lyrics?” you ask, leaning against the wall and he startles. “Do you float on the ground? Why can I never hear you come in?”

“Or maybe you just love being dramatic,” you sing-song, laying atop his bed, much more at ease than the previous night.

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out childishly in response, and you playfully mimic the gesture before both of you dissolve into happy giggles.

“Kind of,” he explains once you both settle down, “I have this specific feeling in mind that I need to convey.”

“You'll do well,” you reassure softly, “your lyrics are always so beautiful. Remember Cover me?” you smile and he scratches the back of his ear, a shy grin spreading across his face.

“You still listen to it?” he asks and you nod eagerly, attempting to belt into Seungmin’s ending high note. You fail horribly and Hyunjin throws a crumpled piece of paper on your face to get you to stop singing.

“My poor ears,” he laughs loudly, and you retaliate by throwing back a pillow on his head.

“You just don’t get my artistic abilities.”

“I’d get them more if you stayed silent.”

You gasp, faking offense as you stand up to tickle Hyunjin on his chair, he starts squirming immediately, his loud giggles spilling all over the room, coating it in vibrant hues of happiness, and you’re suddenly captivated by the sight of him— his head thrown back, a golden lock framing his laughter-filled eyes, his top lowering slightly to reveal glimpses of his collarbones and the delicate veins that trace enticing paths on his neck.

You pause, your hand hovering over the side of his stomach, as a long-forgotten warmth spreads through your heart, like the first rays of dawn greeting the earth after a long winter night. It doesn’t diffuse quickly through your being, but rather drapes like sticky honey on your veins, making you well aware of your growing blush, of how beautiful Hyunjin is in his joy.

“Never singing to you again,” you clear your throat, laying atop his bed once again, and quickly reaching for your phone, anything to avoid his eyes which rival the crescent moon outside his window.

Hours pass before a warm hand gently settles on your shoulder, rousing you from your slumber. Blinking away the fog of sleep, you find Hyunjin leaning over you, his grin wide and infectious. “Wake up,” he whispers, but you only groan, burying your face deeper into his pillow.

He doesn’t yield, taking hold of your wrist and guiding your drowsy figure upright, before wrapping the blanket snugly around your shoulders. Without a word, he leads you out onto his balcony, carefully putting his neon green beanie on your head to shield you from the cold.

“It’s snowing!” he smiles, and his excited tone manages to dissipate the fog in your mind. You blink repeatedly and soon enough, you too behold the fallen snowflakes, each one resembling a tiny speck of light bidding farewell to the sky to greet the earth.

“You missed the first snow so I didn’t want you to miss this one too,” he explains, and his thoughtfulness blankets you with a warmth that seeps into every crevice in your body, drips down your fingertips and makes the cold of 4 a.m. seem less harsh, less biting to the touch.

You don’t know how to say thank you, because those two words don’t encapsulate the depths of gratitude that you feel for Hyunjin. Because he is speaking to the person within you who still loves snow, the part buried underneath layers of dust from a ground heartbreak. But you still manage to hear him, and you squeeze his hand tightly, and he doesn’t let go until you finally do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Remembering has become easier for you these past two months— both the good and the bad. And each day, the scale tips towards one side or the other. Sometimes you recall the suffocation you felt with him, the feeling that no matter what you did you could never please him, that your hands were crafted to break rather than mend. And on those days your wound grows, it throbs and bleeds different emotions.

Sometimes it's anger— at him for treating your heart so carelessly as if you were a being devoid of feeling. And then at you— for staying, for giving him excuses and desperately searching for goodness within him, for the one redeeming quality that would convince you he was worth the pain.

And other days bring an excruciating sadness along, a weight that presses down upon you until you're paralyzed. Because you feel bad for yourself and for everything you went through. Because you’re unsure how to rise when unseen hands push you deeper into the abyss.

And on these days, Seungmin becomes your anchor. He buys your favorite food, skips classes with you, and takes you to your favorite gardens. He talks and he talks and you try your best to laugh because you do not wish to worry him more. It is enough to be your own burden, you do not wish to burden him too.

But when he drops you home, your facade slips away, the smile fading from your face as if it were never truly yours to wear. You are too tired to pretend so you don’t, and Hyunjin doesn’t let you, either. He brews you tea and orders takeout because he knows you lack the energy for cooking. He goes with you on walks and drapes you in pieces of his clothing— scarves and beanies and gloves because he knows you couldn’t care less about a cold when there is a frost coating your bones. He lets you sit in his room while he works on his songs, and while he paints. Sometimes you talk and often you don't need to. But he’s there. He's there with you.

But you also remember the good. You remember your movie night with the boys, Hyunjin building an entire fort for you, adorned with twinkling lights and the softest blankets. How you watched movies until 5 a.m. your bodies so closely huddled together that there was no room left for sadness.

You recall Hyunjin begging you to build a snowman with him at the crack of dawn, the two of you collapsing in fits of laughter as you threw snowballs at one another, your footsteps marking the fresh fallen snow.

You remember being so exhausted after one of your showers that you simply laid atop the couch, gaze fixed on the void, too drained to even untangle the knots in your hair. Yet, it is not the tiredness that you exactly recall, nor the salty tears you shed underneath the scorching water jet. But it is Hyunjin's tender hands as he brushed through your hair, his fingers tracing the nape of your neck, his knuckles ghosting over the slate of your shoulder. You remember whispering that it was a particularly hard day and Hyunjin understanding. You remember him watching many YouTube tutorials to prepare your favorite seaweed soup, only for it to end up being too salty. But you still ate it all, because he made it for you, to lift your wounded spirits. And that alone was enough for it to taste good.

You remember your heart hardening then softening again, breaking then stitching itself back together, closing off then blooming like flowers on the first day of spring. You remember smiling only to cry then smile again. And you remember liking snow, a bit more than you thought you would. Because Hyunjin was there, holding your trembling hand, steadying it enough for you to rewrite your memories with winter.

So, you want to say thank you.

You do not wish to spell it out, because there are too many things to thank Hyunjin for and too few words to do so. Instead, you drag him to the farmer’s market near your home, and you tell him to help you pick flowers.

“I could be in bed watching my favorite show and yet here I am bestowing you with my enchanting presence,” he sighs, not too modestly, as you both eye the array of colorful blooms.

“Okay, Shakespeare, are you done?” you roll your eyes, attempting your best to hide your grin.

“Done annoying you? Never. These are very pretty,” he adds, pointing to the white roses in full bloom, their delicate petals emitting a sweet fragrance into the air.

“I agree, what else should we add?” you ponder, picking out four roses.

“Mm, Hibiscus? The red in the center is so vibrant,” he suggests, taking out his phone to capture the flower.

“Cute. Baby breath’s would look good too,” you say as you gather the flowers, heading to the cashier with Hyunjin trailing behind, still admiring the delicate blooms.

“Can I write a note?” you ask the middle-aged man as he wraps the bouquet in a powder blue paper.

“Sure,” he replies with a smile, and you return the gesture, quickly jotting down your words.

“Are you done?” Hyunjin grins when you return to his side and you nod, exiting the flower shop.

“What do you think?” you ask, angling the bouquet towards him.

“It's beautiful.”

“It’s yours,” you smile, growing shier at the intensity of his gaze as it lands on you, then the flowers, then on you again. “Take it,” you hand it to him, your cheeks flushing like the hibiscus’s crimson core.

“Actually?” he says softly, his fingers trembling slightly as he accepts the flowers and you nod in response. You bite your lip as you watch him take out the note, his eyes softening once he reads the words inscribed in it— thank you for making my winter less cold.

“Should we go?” you say a tad too cheerfully, turning away, but Hyunjin grabs your wrist, spinning you around once more. His fingers trail up your arm, coming to rest gently on your cheek as he leans down to plant a tender kiss there.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer than necessary. You think that if his soft lips grace your skin a few times more, your nerve endings might forget the harshness they were subjected to. If his gentle hands remain on your cheeks, then maybe, your heart would heal quicker, better. Maybe your past self that you long for would emerge again, maybe Hyunjin would be able to unearth it.

Your hopeful thoughts disappear as quickly as they arrive, overshadowed by a sense of helplessness that crashes over you, all of the sudden. You sense him before you hear him, the familiar anxiety that is only synonymous with your ex’s presence.

“Yn?” the sound of your name feels harsher in his mouth, the syllables spat out rather than spoken tenderly, as they are when Hyunjin pronounces it. Your veins run cold as his voice pierces the air, your heart skipping three beats at once before plummeting to your knees. You wrap your hand around Hyunjin’s forearm instinctively, and he looks down at you, his expression morphing into one of concern.

You’re unsure of what he sees in you— whether it is your pale face, the quiver of your lower lip, or the fear that has coated all your features— but his eyes harden, his brows furrowing as he gazes at the man behind you.

You refuse to turn around, bracing yourself for his next words. “Yn,” he repeats his tone laced with anger, his fingertips grazing your arm as if intending to force you to face him. But before he can touch you, Hyunjin intervenes, swiftly stepping in between you and your ex, shielding you with his own body protectively.

“Leave,” Hyunjin's voice is cold, dripping with a venomous edge you've never heard from him before, his jaw clenching with barely contained fury.

“Is this your new shiny toy, Yn?” your ex taunts and his voice cuts through your being against your will, triggering a flood of memories you've tried so desperately to suppress. Memories of his cruelty, his manipulation, and the pain he inflicted upon you—using your love as a weapon to bolster his own ego.

“What's in it for you?” you find your voice again, though it trembles when you speak. He is the very embodiment of your pain and everything you loathe about yourself. You wish for the ground to swallow you whole, for a bolt of lightning to strike the earth, anything to spare you from facing him.

“It's only been three months, I didn't know you were a whore.”

Hyunjin's fist connects with his cheek before you can register his words. It all unfolds so rapidly that you barely have time to comprehend it. Your ex staggers back, blood trickling from the cut on his lip, while Hyunjin stands before you, his chest heaving with restrained anger, his right hand clenched into a fist, the bouquet still held tightly in the other.

“Fine, I deserved it,” your ex chuckles, his voice laced with mockery as he wipes the blood from his lip. His gaze meets yours briefly behind Hyunjin's back.

“You might not be a whore but you are unlovable, keep that in mind.” He spits out before walking away, crude words that tear at every scab covering your wounds, reopening them with a brutal force. Hyunjin moves to follow him, but you grab his shirt, pulling him back.

“He’s not worth it,” you murmur.

Your words seem to snap Hyunjin out of his haze as he turns to look at you, worry cast across his figure. He moves to cradle your cheeks but you step back, refusing to meet his eyes. He swallows thickly, clutching the bouquet in his hands. “Are you okay?”

You let out a heavy sigh, your shoulders slumping as you shake your head slightly. “Let's just go home,” you whisper, eyes fleeting to his for a split second. All the lights in your gaze are muted.

You’re crumbling before him once again and he cannot stop it, no matter how much he yearns to.

It's long past midnight when you find yourself seated on the floor of your living room, a bottle of red wine placed between you and Hyunjin. You exchange it wordlessly, taking turns sipping from it, the alcohol warming your insides but doing little to ease the ache in your heart. You don’t exactly recall when Hyunjin sat next to you, but you don’t mind. You were too lost in your own thoughts to even register his presence.

“Yn,” he calls out softly and you hum absentmindedly, memories of when your ex spoke your name haunting you, each time he yelled your name, uttered it in disdain as if it was the starting point of everything wrong with you.

“Talk to me, please?” he pleads, angling his body towards your own. But you refuse to meet his eyes and Hyunjin’s heart twists in his chest. He is afraid of all the ugly thoughts that must roam your mind. He wishes he could enter it, open the windows wide, and usher the light in.

“I'm sorry you were dragged into this,” you say, your gaze fixated on the bouquet placed atop the table. The crimson painted on the hibiscus’ petals reminds you of the blood that spilled from your ex’s mouth, and your gaze fleets to Hyunjin's hand, slightly bruised from the punch.

“Don’t apologize,” he whispers, “there is nothing to be sorry for.”

It’s as though you don’t hear him, your fingers trailing gently across his scraped knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes the more you stare at his hand.

“Does it hurt?” you ask, voice thick with emotion, and Hyunjin’s quick to shake his head. “No, don’t worry about it. He deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“Neither did you.”

Your disbelieving scoff that follows scares him. What if you’re slipping away into a dark place yet again, one void and barricaded, in which the only sound that echoes is your ex’s hurtful words? What if he can’t reach you again?

“If the only person I’ve ever loved says I’m unlovable then maybe I am.”

You’re drunk, you wouldn’t have said such an ugly thing otherwise, wouldn’t have allowed this sentiment to materialize into the air, to take a tangible form apart from your abstract thoughts.

“No,” Hyunjin says in a panic as though he’s trying to quickly pull the brakes on your free-railing thoughts. He cups your face between his palms, your tears falling freely atop his hands but he does not move away.

“No,” he repeats, more calmly this time. “How he treated you is a reflection of who he is. And how you see him is a reflection of who you are. And you wanted him to be loving because you’re full of love. You wanted him to be good because you are a good person. And he can’t stomach that, can’t stomach that you are happy without him so he’s trying to ruin you again.”

“Hyunjin…” you shake your head but he only inches closer to you, his thumbs gently caressing your cheekbones. “No, listen to me. Seungmin loves you so much he couldn’t eat properly for the first few days you stayed here, texted me all the time asking me how you were and if you were feeling better. He isn't good with words so instead he tries to make you laugh. He wishes he could give up parts of his happiness for you.”

A sob swells within you but Hyunjin presses on. “And Minho, he tried to memorize all your favorite recipes so he could cook them for you. It isn’t a coincidence that every time we go over to their dorm it is your favorite food that we eat. He takes more pictures of his cats these days so he could send them to you because he knows it cheers you up.”

“You told me Changbin doesn’t know you well enough to fight for you but when we saw your ex across the campus one day he wanted to get up and beat him. He always asks me if you are well and if there is something he can do for you, anything.”

He inhales deeply, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “And me…” a tender smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, “you make this house a home. I feel like my true self when you are around and loneliness doesn’t come to me as often as it did. Because you are here. You are like a beam of sunlight that lightens up every life you touch, mine first,” he’s baring his soul to you, vulnerable yet resolute. “So tell me, Yn, what’s not to love in you when you yourself are so full of love?”

“Hyune,” you speak the nickname for the first time, and Hyunjin’s heart thrashes achingly around his ribcage. “If you keep talking like this I might end up loving you,” you smile sadly at him as if it is a terrible thing to be loved by you.

“But I don’t want to love you, because I won’t know how to, not anymore. So I'll end up leaving. And I'll long for you, and I don't think I can stomach longing for you from afar.”

“So please,” you place one hand atop his own, wipe away the lone tear rolling down his cheek. “Don’t make me love you, hm? You deserve more than to be loved by someone like me.”

You leave Hyunjin in the living room, alone before the white flowers you gifted him. He doesn’t want to put them away in a vase, for as soon as he grabbed them from your hold, everything around you both crumbled. So he leaves them there for the night, the creamy white petals aglow underneath the moonlight. He spends the night painting the bouquet from memory, but the petals end up too tinged with red, perhaps mirroring the blood his heart refuses to stop spilling still.

He did not realize it before, maybe he blinded himself so he wouldn’t see what was before him all along. But it is all the clearer to him now— that in his attempts to make you love winter again, Hyunjin only ended up loving you.

A week later.

hyune [1:25 a.m.]: i miss you

You and Hyunjin spent the last seven days avoiding one another, well you more than him. He just understood your silent plea when you took a step back the one time he tried to talk to you in the kitchen, swallowing thickly before inching away, allowing you to move past him.

You did not know how to face him after what he said, partly because you were embarrassed by your own response, mostly because even in your drunken daze, his words etched themselves permanently into your memory.

It is his reassuring words that echoed in your brain for the past week, not those of your ex.

hyune [1: 26 a.m.]: and i miss sleeping on the couch

You giggle, shaking your head before replying.

yn [1:26 a.m.]: no you don’t

hyune [1:26 a.m.]: no i don’t ㅠㅠ

but i finished the song

wanna hear?

Walking to Hyunjin’s room feels as familiar as going into your own. And when your gaze finally meets his you can’t help but break into a relieved smile. It was foolish of you to punish yourself, enough people have done that for you already.

“Hey,” he greets tentatively, and you respond with an awkward wave, a moment pregnant with anticipation passes before both of you dissolve into laughter.

“What is this? Are we in middle school,” he teases and you giggle, settling comfortably on his bed once more.

“I know. We are so lame.”

“You are,” he corrects with a grin and you gasp, pretending to leave but he quickly catches your hand, stopping you. “No, please stay. I meant it when I said that I missed you,” he repeats quietly, as if afraid that his confession would make you run away once again.

Your heart aches, the knots in your stomach tightening and unraveling all at once. “I missed you too,” you admit softly, and he smiles, his thumb tracing a gentle path above your pulse before releasing your hand.

“So it's done then?” you ask and he nods, running a hand through his hair with a hint of anxiety. “How do you feel about it?”

“Good. I hope you’ll like it, mostly.”

“I'm sure I will,” you reassure him with a soft smile, and he nods once more, pressing a few buttons before his melodious whistles fill the air once again.

Nothing could have braced you for the sound of Hyunjin's voice that followed, its timbre soft as silk yet imbued with profound sorrow. It's as though he recorded the song on one of his loneliest nights, his honeyed vocals dipped in an excruciating nostalgia that seeps into every corner of the room, every corner of your heart.

In the faded photo, I come across a smile spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

Your gaze flickers to Hyunjin as a shadow of recollection dawns on you. You remember telling him that you couldn’t stomach looking at pics of your past, ones in which you smiled so freely because you were blissfully unaware of what was to come.

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal.

Because you weren’t aware of the winter that will follow and the biting cold that it would bear, for everything that will go astray in your relationship, for your ex's facade to crack like a glacier succumbing to the pressure of lies and pretense.

I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes.

You remember Hyunjin confessing that silence haunted him more than words ever could, and you had agreed, sharing how sometimes you shut your eyes, pretending that the reality you woke up to wasn't the one you were living.

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away.

You gaze at the white flowers you brought him, now wilted in the vase placed on his desk, yet Hyunjin refuses to throw them still. You see the card you wrote for him hung on the wall, right next to the dried red rose. He kept it. Though it withered, he kept it all.

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you.

You remember the longing you both spoke of, how he understood a feeling you felt so incredibly alone in. How he tried to reassure you when he too was caught in the webs of the past. How you longed for him in the past week. How you wished he longed for you just the same.

So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

The violin swells and so does the emotion in your chest. You remember him asking you ‘What’s not to love in you’ and how you've spun those words in your thoughts ever since. You remember thinking that if he gave you a few more weeks, just a bit more time, you might have found it in you to believe them.

You see Hyunjin’s glimmering eyes holding yours, you see his heart atop a platter handed to you, and you see the resignation in his being. Don’t make me love you, you told him. You didn’t dare to tell him not to love you in return, deemed it too foolish of thought to entertain.

For he was Hwang Hyunjin, the quiet producer who paints in his free time and who wears his heart on his sleeve. Who remains hopeful, loving, and tender, despite the thorns pricking at his side. Who is beautiful, so much so that he allowed you to see beauty in the universe once again, through his eyes.

How could he love you?

How could you not love him?

“The song,” you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as you stand, trembling, on your feet. Hyunjin rises too, meeting you in the center of his room.

“It is about you. For you,” he says simply as if his words don’t cause your world to burst at the seams only to mend itself once again, too eager to fix itself and exist in the same timeline as Hyunjin.

“I don't… I don’t know what to say,” you say earnestly, feeling your heart pound in your chest, its beats resounding loudly in your ears.

It is wrong of you to assume he wishes you to say something. He is Hyunjin, the one who finds words in your silences too, after all.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” he shakes his head, taking another step closer to you. “I don't want an answer, I don't wish to pressure you. I just wanted to tell you that my love is here, it is yours to take or to leave, to cherish or to discard. But it is yours, because this is who I am. I am someone who loves you.”

“So do not tell me to forget you because I don't know how to. And don’t tell me that you’ll leave because I will love you still, because you’d still be you, near or far, you are you. And you are someone I long for.” He pauses, his voice softening. “And I long for you, Yn, more than anything I've ever longed for. And I've spent all my life longing.”

His lips meet your forehead tenderly, and you feel your entire being grow limp at the chaste kiss, as if your limbs wish to liquefy and form a puddle on the floor. His touch is soft, and you miss it the moment he parts from you.

“There must be something in this room that keeps on making you cry,” he smiles and you bring your hands to your damp cheeks, surprised to find there tears you didn’t realize had fallen.

“It’s you,” you pinch his arm playfully and he squirms away from your hold, stabbing his toe on the desk in the process. A loud fuck echoes around the room, and your laughter dissipates the tension clinging into the air.

“Can you play it again?” you request softly and Hyunjin’s theatrics fade as a shy smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Is it good?”

“It's everything to me.”

“It's called ‘long for you’, by the way.”

“Long for you,” you repeat quietly. There has never been a prettier combination of words.

The title all but makes sense as you lay on the bed, your gaze fixed on the paintings hung on the wall, Hyunjin sketching quietly on his desk, the song resonating softly in the background. You've longed for many things in your life—the person you once were and the tender love you once craved—but amidst it all, nothing has weighed heavier on your heart than the longing for the man sitting just two meters away, almost in your loving grasp. Almost.

❁ ❁ ❁

It is an excruciating five days that Hyunjin spends apart from you, the both of you too caught up in your assignments to find a moment to properly speak. But you do not shy away from him when he greets you, and your grin is kind as it drapes across his being, and Hyunjin swears he has never seen a prettier sight than you smiling.

On the sixth night, Hyunjin completes the cover for the song— a figure wrapped around itself protectively, mirroring the way you hug yourself in your sleep. He hangs it on the wall, right next to your thank you card and the white bouquet he drew once again, wishing to properly immortalize its beautiful flowers, to purify that memory from the tumult that followed it.

On the sixth night, the house is quiet, the full moon high up in the sky, snowflakes falling softly to the ground. Hyunjin wonders if you too mimicked the snow’s descent— both of you falling apart with it.

But then, there’s a knock on his door.

His heart catches in his throat, his body freezing as if it forgot how to move. You are here.

“Come in,” he manages to say, his voice barely above a whisper. You push the door open, and Hyunjin's words wilt on his tongue as he sees what you're carrying—another bouquet, filled with white flowers, yet again.

“Hey,” you smile, standing by the door.

He remains silent, unsure of what to say, or how to speak. He longs for you when you are away, even more so when you’re before him.

“We shouldn't let these white flowers wither away too, right?” you smile slightly, placing the bouquet on the desk before walking to Hyunjin’s bedside. His voice falters, vocal cords refusing to move and overshadow your voice.

You sit beside him, gently pulling his hand so that you’d both lie on the pillows. Your hand doesn’t leave his own, instead, it moves to rest on his cheek, reminiscent of the many times he had cradled your face before. Inch by inch, you close the gap between you, nuzzle the tip of your nose against his own. “Hi, Hyune”, you say softly, and he swallows thickly, his voice coming out just as quietly.

“Hi, my Yn.”

“If we take care of the white flowers together do you think they’ll survive a bit longer?” you ask, your gaze never wavering from his, countless stars twinkling in the depths of your irises.

“I believe so,” he says tentatively, too aware of the warmth of your palm against his skin, of the sweet ache unfurling within his being.

“Mm, and even if they wilt we can always buy new ones. We can learn how to care for them better, with time,” you say, and he nods in agreement, laying his hand atop your own, tilting his head to bestow a chaste kiss on your palm.

“With time,” he echoes softly and you smile, vulnerable yet secure in his gray sheets, in his hold.

“Will you give me time too?” you ask, and Hyunjin reads in your eyes what you mean, understands in the shake of your voice the question you are too afraid to voice. Will he give you time to heal in order to love?

“As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures, pressing his forehead gently atop yours, and you both close your eyes, as a running warmth encloses you both, blooms a blush on both your cheeks.

His arms wrap around your back, drawing you close until your chests are pressed together, your head resting naturally in the curve of his neck. And it is long forgotten in your mind, all the nights you slept in this very bed alone. You feel safe, safe enough to long for love knowing that it patiently awaits you behind the door, once you find enough courage to turn the doorknob. You feel serene, as Hyunjin’s warm palms glide soothingly up and down your spine, as every muscle, every nerve, every atom in your being relaxes in his hold.

You are healing, slowly, with each fleeting second that passes in which Hyunjin’s heartbeat resounds within your chest, as its melody runs through your veins, melds with your own as if it was destined to be there all along. As you rest in Hyunjin, as you find a safe home within his soul to discard your worries at the doorstep and breathe.

“It did get better,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Hm?” He leans back to look at you, and he’s so beautiful, so tender as he gazes at you, you can’t help but trace the contours of his face with your fingers, hoping to commemorate him with your eyes, with your touch.

“You promised me it’ll get better, and it did,” you smile, as your legs further intertwine with his, and his rose perfume becomes an indelible mark on your skin. “Too bad I can't hit your pretty face now,” you joke and he giggles, tipping his head back.

He's so beautiful, body and soul, and he longs for you, you alone.

“But I can still do this,” you murmur before finally pressing your lips against his like a boat finally reaching the shore after months of sailing. You both exhale, in yearning, in relief, as your mouths move together in a slow, languid dance, his hand finding the pulse on your neck, yours settling atop his jaw.

He would kiss you again, this intimately, in the coming months, when your heart expands enough to contain the love Hyunjin deserves. He would kiss you again, when your past comes to haunt you, and healing sounds like an elusive myth you’d never encounter in your life.

And he would kiss you again, over the kitchen table and under the fridge’s light, in between paintings and in supermarket aisles, while picking flowers and watching the first snow.

He would kiss you, this tenderly, in the next winter, and the ones after it, as if his longing for you never wanes. Till blow three disappears from your memory, till all you remember is the love, the true one, the kind one, the soft one Hyunjin alone could have brought you.

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a-d-nox · 13 days

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astro hypothesis: dress for the occasion

everyone is always mentioning to dress like your venus sign. recently, i have seen a lot of tiktoks where people are like dress like your crush/boyfriend's venus sign to look like his dream girl. and i was like what about dressing for the occasion? which brought me here! grab your venus persona and take a look at the houses.

5h - prom, dances, dates, and clubs

5h cancer (4°, 16°, 28°) and/or 5h moon: elegance is key. you might be drawn to long, flowy gowns with shimmery fabric. something light but glowy! often the fabric is dark (black or midnight blue) or slivery/white. a sweetheart neckline or off the shoulder cut tends to look beautiful on these people. often you are drawn to semi-sheer fabric as it adds some mystique to your appearance.

5h libra (7°, 19°) and/or 5h venus: light pastels or ivory are likely to grab your attention but a plain white or black dress is likely to give you that elegant/timeless look that you want most in pictures to remember your day (otherwise, you might take pictures in a colored dress and turn on a black and white filter). you want the wow factor! so a-line, a ball gown, or fit-flare dresses might be your go to look. a floor length dress is likely a must for you. silk, satin, chiffon, and/or organza are likely on the tags of these dresses even if you don't know what these materials are by the naked eye. dresses with a sweetheart neckline or off the shoulder sleeves are likely to make you feel elegant. you may like very simple accessories - plain earrings, a dainty bracelet, small pendant necklace, classic heels, etc. a v-neckline, bateau, or strapless design is likely to fit your elegance same could be said about a low back dress.

5h aquarius (11°, 23°) and/or 5h uranus: you are likely to be drawn to the blue family (sky, sea, ocean, water, turquoise, etc.). iridescence/holographic/shimmery material might draw your attention in a store. you often go for something very atypical in the store (might be from seasons ago - its likely the last of its kind). something a-line, flowy, and/or high-to-low might be of interest to you - the cuts of a dress bring interest to your favorite parts of yourself (example, maybe its a two piece dress). something high neck or off the shoulder is likely of interest to you as well. a loose braid and/or waves might be all you need to finish out your look.

7h - wedding attire

7h aries (1°, 13°, 25°) and/or 7h mars: as a bride you should be wearing pure white. nudes or off-whites aren't likely to hold your attention anyway. grab the pure stark white. it is likely that reds are going to be an accent of this wedding - roses, nail, polish, bridesmaid dresses, etc. but if you aren't in the wedding party, go for the red whether its a fiery red or a deep burgundy, its the way to go! no matter if you are the bride, the guest, or a member of the wedding party - you should opt for a fit flare dress or mermaid silhouette. or be really dramatic and go for a deep slit, a plunge neckline, or something backless! the devil is in the details too so things like careful beading, sequins, or embroidery should be something critical to your look (if not the fit and/or the drama). alternatively, minimalism/modernism might be something you enjoy for your look.

7h gemini (3°, 15°, 27°) and/or 7h mercury: as a bride, you might lean towards ivory or whites with an undertone of some color (like a blush). you don't tend to go for the traditional white color, in my experience. if you are a guest or in the wedding party it is likely you will find yourself in soft pastel colors! movement is of the utmost importance to you so opt for a-line or flowy gown. you might also enjoy wearing things that are asymmetrical - the hemline might be high to low or you might like the one shoulder strap design. these people also like details in their dresses whether it is lace, embroidery, beading, ruffles, tiered skirts, or glitter - the options are endless. chiffon, tulle, or organza might be the fabrics for you because they are light and breathable.

6h - everyday clothes and workwear

6h pisces (12°, 24°) and/or 6h neptune: soft fabrics like cotton, silk, or jersey in gentle, soothing colors such as ocean blues, seafoam greens, lavender, and soft pinks. loose, flowing clothes like maxi skirts, wrap dresses, or wide-legged pants that move gracefully. style would likely be bohemian and free-spirited, incorporating layers, delicate patterns, or subtle prints (florals, paisley, etc.). clothes would be cozy and easy to wear—think oversized sweaters, soft cardigans, and flowy blouses. might like jewelry that is delicate, handmade, seashells, pearls, and/or celestial themed.

6h libra (7°, 19°) and/or 6h venus: these people have a natural sense of style and an appreciation for their appearance. outfits would likely be classic, well-tailored pieces in soft, neutral tones like blush pink, dove gray, cream, and pastel blues. the fabrics would be light and luxurious - like silk blouses, cashmere sweaters, or satin skirts. well-fitted blazers, A-line skirts, and or high-waisted trousers make them look polished and graceful. they effortlessly blend comfort with sophistication. everything else is minimal yet thoughtfully chosen - delicate gold or silver jewelry, a stylish handbag, etc.

9h - graduation and religious events

9h taurus (2°, 14°, 26°) and/or 9h venus: elegance, luxury, and comfort ("it has pockets too!"). a sleek, well-structured dress in an earthy tones like emerald green, soft brown, or blush pink. the fabric might be luxurious, like silk, satin, or velvet. a silhouette would likely be timeless and flattering - a wrap dress or an A-line dress that cinches at the waist, emphasizing femininity and grace is well suited for this placement. delicate embroidery or subtle jewelry accents. understated but beautiful accessories, like a simple gold necklace or pearl earrings.

9h leo (5°, 17°, 29°) and/or 9h sun: bold, glamorous, and attention grabbing. vibrant colors like gold, fiery red, or royal purple. the fabric might be something that shimmers or catches the light, such as sequined, satin, or metallic materials. a silhouette could be daring and statement-making, like a fitted flair dress, a high-low hemline, or an off-the-shoulder design. ruffles, a thigh-high slit, or an open back, ensures all eyes are on them. accessories would be bold—think large, sparkling earrings, a dramatic statement necklace, etc. yes, realize what my sub-header is for this section.

9h sagittarius (9°, 21°) and/or jupiter: it's never just one graduation or church event and thus never just one dress/opportunity. the dresses would likely have a regal, flowing quality to it. jewel tones like deep sapphire, royal blue, or amethyst. flowy, A-line, and/or empire waisted dresses that gives a sense of movement. fabric might be lightweight and ethereal, like chiffon, tulle, or silk. intricate embroidery, beading, etc. accessories would be tasteful but luxurious, like a delicate gold bracelet or a jeweled hairpiece.

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #natal chart #astrology tumblr #persona chart #astro notes #astrology chart #natal astrology #astrology readings #astrology signs #astro #astro observations #astroblr #venus persona chart #persona chart observations #what to wear

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aklaustaleteller · 4 months

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@ghayda0 requested via submission: Hi, please ignore if you’re not taking requests. Klaus is out all day. Literally from morning to midnight and when he comes back, Y/N is very pissed at him and giving him the silent treatment. At first Klaus’s amused by her actions, thinking Y/N is just being bratty but when she starts tearing up, maybe mid argument, he sees that’s she’s genuinely hurt. Maybe it was their anniversary or her birthday and he forgot. Can be smutty if you want to be, I mean he has to make it up somehow ;)

Entirety of Eternity

Waiting and waiting for Klaus to return home, Y/n's grasp on reality soon slipped and she fell into a sad, sad slumber. But then Klaus finally comes back, and he doesn't know what he's done wrong -- and Y/n won't tell him. Until she does, shouting at him how the night clearly wasn't anything special to him. And now, all Klaus wants is to show her just how much she, and their relationship, truly mean to him.

Warnings - Smut and some mentions of blood. Word Count - 3.3k

Not super proud of the way I wrote this one, but I'm pretty certain that it isn't that bad (please tell me it isn't) And thank you for requesting this -- I hope you enjoy reading it!

Y/n was sat on one end of the dining table, her face resting in her quite sweaty palms as she waited for her ears to finally perk up at the sound of the front door to the mansion opening. But it was beginning to cross the two-hour mark and still, there was no sound.

Every once in a while, the sound of her earrings' tiny bells would chime in her ears as she'd change her position to get more comfortable. At least as comfortable as she could on a wooden chair.

A deep wine-red dress adorned her body, pooling on the ground around her feet as she sat. Delicate jewellery hung from her ears, her wrists and a dainty necklace rested just below her collarbone. Sighing defeatedly, she let her head lay atop her arms on the dining table, looking at the polished plates in front of her and then at the empty seat across from her.

Tonight was nothing special, at least not to Klaus considering the fact that he had yet to return home. But it was to her. After all, this was the day that he had turned into a hybrid himself, and then turned her into one as well – justifying it with the purpose that he just wanted to spend the rest of eternity with her.

This was just the fifth year, and already he was forgetting their anniversary.

Maybe this wasn't so special after all. But when you've got the entirety of eternity on your hands, surely you'd try and celebrate as many occasions as possible to keep things special and ...to keep their value.

The clock rang throughout the empty house, finally hitting one in the morning and he still wasn't standing across from her. And she was getting too close to doubting if he even will tonight.

And even if it wasn't so special to him, shouldn't he have listened to her when she'd so excitedly told him to return home early tonight as she'd have something special waiting for him? Wouldn't matter anymore because all the food that she'd cooked herself had gone cold, and the candles she'd set up had burned down to the wick.

The dust had begun to settle on the exposed crockery, the moon had hidden itself behind the clouds and her heart had begun wilting away inside her chest.

She didn't quite realise when her hold on reality slipped and she fell into a sad slumber, but she woke up to the feel of a hand on her arm and a soft voice coaxing her back to life.

"There you are, my darling," Klaus smiled, already kneeling beside her so he was face to face with her. "Why didn't you go to bed?"

Y/n looked at him with eyes that were screaming how could he have the guts, the audacity to ask her that and so callously pretend that he hadn't just come home past midnight despite her sweet request that went against his act.

But when her shouts fell on deaf ears, she simply turned the other way from where Klaus was sitting and stood up. "The dinner's gone cold... I'd suggest you warm it up before eating, it'd taste better," she told him as she walked up the stairs, her gaze empty but her blood heating up rapidly.

Klaus looked at her as she walked away, amusement filling him up to the brim at her antics. Yes, she'd asked him to return early but it was for no special occasion, and he'd gotten himself in a rather sticky situation, so why was she upset out of the blue?

He was even sure that she his reasoning in someone's red blood covering him from head to toe, beginning to dry up. And he wished that she'd clean him up like every other time, so he decided to eat first. Give her some time to change her clothes and get comfortable for the night before he could go over to her and ask her innocently to help him clean himself off.

So he sat and ate, his eyes closing every once in a while at the feeling of the home cooked meal filling him up with all the love he could digest.

Rinsing off his dishes, Klaus sped up the stairs and into the bedroom he shared with Y/n as her lover, a frown settling itself between his brows when he caught her sitting in front of the vanity, lost in some thought as she glared at a broken lipstick.

"What's wrong, my love?" Klaus asked her, concern lacing his voice as he walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders as he locked his eyes with hers in the mirror.

His frown only deepened further when she didn't reply and began removing her jewellery, looking at him with big eyes trembling with fury. He didn't move, not until she was getting up and moving towards the bed, which had him following her hot on her heels.

"C'mon, it's not the right time to be a brat, sweetheart," Klaus joked, chuckling to himself but stopped when she shot him a look sharp enough to make him flinch.

"Just tell me what's happened!" Klaus insisted, kneeling in front of her and holding her hand, ignoring the fact that she didn't weave her fingers through his' and pick his hand up to press a kiss on his knuckles like she usually did.

"Where were you?" She asked, forcing her voice to be at a bay.

"Well, some newbies truly thought that they could have my head on a sword for them to take home to their master,” he chuckled. “And their plan was quite impressive, dare I say,” shrugging he said, passing her a grin which, expectedly, wasn’t reciprocated.

“I apologise for not coming home earlier,” he sighed. But he knew that she knew that he truly wasn’t, for he didn’t even yet realise the density of this grave mistake he had made. And when she continued with her silence, Klaus finally cracked.

“It’d not as if tonight’s anything special!”

And right then, Y/n heard something crack inside her. Possibly her dead heart.

“I know you wanted me to return early tonight and I’m sorry that I didn’t, I truly am!” He almost whined, trying to show her how unreasonable she was being as he started pacing the room. “But this has happened before and you’ve never been this upset, so just tell me what have I done wrong!”

He felt quite embarrassed once he was done shouting due to her lack of response, and sighed once more before walking towards her.

“It was our anniversary,” she started, quickly glancing at the clock, “yesterday.”

Klaus stopped in midst of his way to her, his heart dropping in his stomach as he finally found himself at a loss of words. His mouth moved, but nothing came out except for some incoherent stutters.

“Forget it. It was nothing special,” she gritted through her teeth, not wanting her anger to get the best of her but she could feel it slipping out of her grasp.

“Darling – I,” Klaus stuttered, looking at the floor, wishing it’d remind him how to speak. “I’m so sorry darling,” Klaus breathed, his gaze turning doe-eyed as the realisation set in.

“No you’re not!” Y/n shouted, getting off the bed to walk towards him. “You are not sorry, Klaus. You clearly don’t care!”

Hot tears were lined up against her lower lashline, making it hard for her to see clearly.

“You were showing that last night meant nothing to you for so long and you even said it! It was no special occasion!” She yelled, her voice shaking as her brain debated whether she was trying to convince herself about that, or him.

And the way she was talking about their anniversary in a way that it truly had passed and that it was the next day, was only breaking his heart worse.

“Darling our anniversary means the world to me,” he desperately said. “I’d just carelessly forgotten about it but please don’t think that it doesn’t mean anything to me,” he whispered, his eyes aching to meet with hers but she just wouldn’t let it happen, looking to the side.

But the moment those words left his mouth, a bitter chuckle escaped her mouth as she finally looked him in the eyes.

“Can you hear yourself Klaus?” She asked him, shaking her head. “If it did mean anything to you, you wouldn’t have forgotten about it!” She told him, fisting her hand to prevent herself from ripping her hair out of her scalp.

“Please let me make it up to you, darling,” Klaus begged, his own tears threatening to spill. “I’d been a bastard to do such a thing but please let me show you how much you mean to me,” his voice went meek as he lowered his head to meet her eyes. “How much this,” Klaus whispered, motioning his hand to point at her and then at himself, “means to me,” he finished, cautiously cupping her face in his rough hands.

And he breathed in relief when she leaned into his touch, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“I cooked us a meal, lit up candles and I only wore this dress so you could take it off,” she admitted, a tinge of pink rising on her cheeks, betraying her sadness. “And you just had to go and mess everything up,” she sighed, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around him, clinging to his torso while resting her face in the cervix of his neck, ignoring the dried blood that covered his clothes and exposed skin.

“And I’m so sorry darling,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I swear I’ll never do something like this again,” he smiled, swaying them side to side.

Y/n detached herself from him then, her hair a bit ruffled due to his touch. “Please don’t,” she chuckled, pressing a quick kiss on his lips before weaving their fingers together and walking towards the bathroom.

“You better not show up some day covered in your own blood,” Y/n warned him as she sat him on the bathroom counter and wetted a towel.

She began wiping the blood off of him with ease, having done this a million and more times by now. And she’d just wiped down his neck when she realised that he had way more blood on him that she’d expected, and some in his hair as well.

“Why don’t you just take a shower? You genuinely have blood everywhere, hell it’s even in your hair,” she laughed and didn’t wait for his answer as she went on to turn on the shower and nodded her head at him, urging him to get in already.

“You’re not joining me, are you?” Klaus asked, teasingly and nervously.

“You wish, don’t you?” She grinned before walking out, her ears picking up on him mumbling how she very well knew that he did.

And Y/n had just been sitting on the bed, waiting for him when he finally walked out of the shower, in a towel that hung dangerously low on his hips. And his drenched curls stuck to his forehead while water shone off of his chiselled chest, a teasing smirk on his mouth as he looked at her while she took him in.

He began walking towards her, a certain glint in his eyes as he watched her shut off the book in her lap and place it on her bedside table. Once he stood beside her, he took her hands in his and began moving so that she’d stand up and walk with him.

Leaning in, he hovered his mouth over hers before tilting his head slightly so that he was whispering in her ear.

“You said you’d only worn this dress so I could take it off… yes?” He asked her, beginning to sway the two of them across the room, listening in to hear her heartbeat picking up while her heavy breath fanned his neck.

Y/n hummed in response, her eyes fluttering close when he began pressing feather light kisses up her neck. She looked at him with intrigue when he stood the both of them in front of the mirror, looking at her with the slightest smirk from behind.

“Gonna still let me take you up on that offer, darling?” he asked, his fingers dancing across her shoulders until she nodded her head, and whispered a small yes.

“Gonna let me show you how much truly special you are to me?” He asked again, clearly teasing her as he fingers travelled to her back. He pressed his mouth against her jaw when she nodded again, eyes still on her in the mirror as he began nipping at her skin, leaving behind the very first hickey.

He undid the chain of the dress, letting it slump off of her torso and expose her naked breasts to him. No bra, he grinned, licking the bruising skin on her jaw as a blush creeped up on the highs of her cheeks.

From behind, his hands slithered across her skin, from her back to now her breasts, flicking the hardened nipples as he littered love bites all over her neck.

He made sure that while he touched her, his eyes remained locked with hers. She knew after so many years with him that he preferred eye contact during such intimate moments, that he preferred to see how much effect he had on her – how he had her at his mercy just by touch.

“Klaus,” she breathed with pleading eyes and let her head fall against his chest as he began to force the rest of her dress to slip off of her figure.

“Darling,” Klaus smiled, turning her around once she’d stepped out of the dress that was merely a pool on the floor now. He picked her up, bridal style and walked over to their bed, laying her on it gently unlike other times when he’d roughly toss her on it. After all, he had some apologising to do tonight.

Moving to hover above her, Klaus resumed his kisses and marks, slipping lower and lower on her body until her fingers were clutching his curls while he bit lightly on the lowest point of her stomach.

“Stop all this teasing now, Klaus,” Y/n asked of him, propping herself up on her elbows to look at him with a rather scolding look as he looked back at her with mischievousness swimming in his eyes.

“Only because I’m truly sorry,” Klaus grinned at her, teasing her for the final time before he pressed his mouth against her aching core, licking up her hole to her clit, spreading her arousal before he could actually begin.

Y/n’s breathing hitched and a moan escaped her mouth when she felt him increase his pace a bit. His fingers dug into the skin on her hips as he kept his hold tight on her, forcing himself as close to her pussy as he could, his nose breathing in her scent and tongue lapping up her wetness.

“Oh Klaus,” she whined when he shifted all his attention on her clit, sucking on it until he began feeling a tremor coursing through her thighs.

He went back to licking up her arousal then, wanting to prolong her orgasm to give her a good one instead. And his own grunts began to vibrate against her core when he began to rub against the bed, causing her arousal begin dripping down his chin.

“You taste fucking amazing, darling,” he told her as he pushed a finger inside her with ease, quickly adding another one at the realisation of just how open and ready he’d got her dawned on him.

Y/n mewled above him, her moans turning into louder groans as he pushed himself against her core again, flicking her clit with his tongue while pumping his fingers inside her at a fast pace. Her eyes fell shut as the knot in her belly began to move lower and lower, a pleasing and burning sensation coursing through her body, causing her to begin shaking.

Her thighs instinctively closed shut around Klaus’ head, her hands pushing against his head to get away from him, making him increase his pace even more.

“Klaus, please!” She cried out to him, begging for release while her back arched off the bed, her eyes flying open when Klaus detached his mouth from her, keeping his fingers at work regardless.

“Look at me,” he breathed, her arousal smeared across his mouth, along with a couple strings connecting his mouth and her core.

And he went right back to messing with her now puffy clit once he had her eyes on him. Noises of his tongue licking her up and down began to fill the room along with the ones coming from him fingering her, and her hips stuttered to move just once more before she was crying out, trying with all her might to get away from his mouth as she grew more and more sensitive as he made her ride out her orgasm.

Klaus finally stopped after a couple more kitten licks then, crawling back up to her to kiss her. And he had just cupped her jaw when she flipped them over, now straddling his naked hips as the towel remained lying near the foot of the bed.

And she began lining his hardened cock against her pussy, slowly sinking down on him until he was fully inside her. She placed her hands on top of his which were situated on her waist and then she began moving up and down, increasing her pace with each jump.

“Only because I’m forgiving you,” she lazily grinned at him, making him chuckle hoarsely.

Klaus’ hands slowly slithered up her torso then, and cupped her breasts as their bouncing in his face was going to make him reach his high embarrassingly fast.

And when he noticed her pace slowing down, he placed his hold back on her waist to hold her in place while he thrusted up into her, fucking her well enough for her to lean forward and hover over him with her eyes clenched shut.

“Fucking hell,” Klaus gritted as her breasts were now back in his face, bouncing so prettily that he couldn’t help but take one of her nipples in his mouth to tease her into another orgasm now.

“Oh I’m gonna cum again,” she moaned close to his ears, and it was enough to make him slip his hand between their connected bodies and rub her clit, all while he felt himself growing closer and closer to tipping over the edge himself.

“Give it to me darling – give it to your husband,” Klaus groaned as he felt her walls clench around him, her orgasm slipping past her entrance and onto the base of his cock, making him spill inside her with a loud moan.

Making a few more deep and hard thrusts, Klaus finally stopped, his head thrown back in pure ecstasy as Y/n laid on top of him, wrapping her arms around his torso.

“I fear you’ll need another shower, Klaus,” Y/n giggled, laughing harder when he sped both of them into the bathroom, and turned on the shower, kissing her with a wide grin on his own mouth.

“Please buy more dresses just for me to take them off, my love,” Klaus told her, his teasing grin turning into dropped jaw when her arse brushed against him, eliciting an even deeper moan from him when she pressed herself further into him and began peppering kisses across his chest, nipping at the skin every once in a while just to hear him hiss.

“For the entirety of eternity, yes?” She grinned, yelling in surprise when he pushed her against the wall and pressed his mouth on hers, mumbling a hoarse ‘yes’ as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

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liecanthrope · 1 year

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wait because seriously being an adult therian fucking rips, especially when you start being independent.

dog with a blog? nah. dog with a JOB. i come into work with my tail and my theta delta necklace and the building implodes from my sheer swag. weirdo teenagers love me. also having your own paycheck means you can get whatever gear/treats you want (once bills are paid, of course - bet youve never heard a dog say that!)

living in your own apartment? well the pet limit is 2 but if i include myself im going over the limit. whoops! good thing i love lying to landlords (fuck landlords). living alone (no roomie) is even better bc theres no one to judge you for your animal habits. i can make a huge den in the living room and who is going to stop me?

i even have my own health insurance. bro. imagine being a dog with medicaid. im climbing the walls and howling and barking. i love being a dog filling out government paperwork.

having your own vehicle? THIS DOG CAN DRIVE! if i feel like going to the lake i can just go to the lake! nobody is stopping me! midnight ride with the windows down to howl at the moon? yes please!!

you can literally just go wherever bro. i moved 11 hours from my hometown to the mountains to feel more at home. i lived in the great plains and now i can just go out for a hike in the rockies and howl at the sky.

being an adult therian slaps so fucking hard i cant wait for the youth to grow up and experience the joy of freedom. yes being an adult is incredibly stressful but if youve been stifled living with family, you get a real chance to develop who you truly are. adult therians i love you im rubbing against your neck and mixing our scents. mwah.

#no shame of course if you do not or cannot have these things #but i wasnt granted much independence as a youth so im very happy now #sorry for the ramble im just feeling rlly accomplished today #still settling into the new apt but i finally got my books and some of my trinkets unpacked and set up :)#feeling a little more homey and im enjoying the weather quite a bit. we're having a rainy week #angel barks #therian #therianthropy #dog therian #wolf therian #feline therian #otherkin

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bookished · 3 months

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( a collection of starters. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post 💛 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips

"Did you notice how the flowers in the garden bloom in patterns that mimic constellations?"

"I swear, the painting in the hallway changes every time I look at it. Yesterday, it was a serene landscape. Today, there's a storm brewing."

"I met a man in the market who claims he can hear the whispers of trees. Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"The old librarian told me she’s been alive for over a hundred years, and she showed me a book that ages backward."

"Every time I play the piano, it feels like the notes are guiding my fingers, as if the music has a mind of its own."

"I have this strange ability to see people's memories when I touch their hands. It's both a gift and a curse."

"This necklace I found seems to glow when the moon is full. I've never seen anything like it."

"Grandma's mirror doesn't just show reflections; it shows glimpses of the past and the future."

"The café at the end of the street only appears when it rains. Have you ever been inside?"

"There's a hidden garden behind the school that only children can see. They say it’s where dreams are planted and grow into reality."

"The new neighbor claims she can brew potions that change your fate. Should we believe her?"

"He says he can read the stars to predict people's destinies, but his predictions are always so eerily accurate."

"The river in the forest runs backward during the full moon. No one knows why."

"Every night at midnight, the streetlights spell out messages in Morse code. Have you ever tried to decode them?"

"Lately, the wind has been carrying whispers, like it's trying to tell us something important."

"I've noticed that the shadows in our town don't quite match their objects. It's like they're alive."

"There's a legend that if you light a candle at the old crossroads at midnight, you'll meet a guardian spirit. Do you dare to try it?"

"In our village, they say that singing to the dawn brings good fortune for the entire day. Have you ever wondered if it really works?"

"I've found a door in my house that leads to different places depending on the time of day. This morning, it opened into a meadow."

"They say time moves differently in the old clock tower. Spend an hour there, and a day could pass in the outside world."

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ozai-the-bonsai · 6 months

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Cry for the Moon

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!reader

Important Notes: I don’t think there is any use of she/her in this chapter but for future chapters, please don’t be surprised if other characters refer to the reader as she/her. And just like any other Fire Nation citizen, the reader has amber eyes. Other than that, I have given my best to avoid any further details about the reader but constructive criticism is always welcome!

Warnings: none

A/N: I am looking forward to your feedback on this very first chapter, personally the first ones are the hardest :) if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!

Taglist: @annonymatic @yoongiesstar @lost-inthe-v0id @lokigodofmyheart

Credits to @lost-inthe-v0id for the main idea behind the story

“This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life,” you spoke with a low voice as your hands reached the necklace Zuko was holding. It was past midnight, and you two had to be sleeping but – as always – you decided to sneak out to lay under the moonlight, enjoying the peace the night brought to the palace. “Did you do it yourself?”

Zuko nodded in a proud manner. “I have always loved the way the moonlight reflected from your amber eyes,” his words made you turn your gaze away, feeling heat rushing to your face. “So I wanted to capture that beautiful light in this amber stone as well.”

Apparently, he had somehow managed to melt the amber, place some tiny silver pieces which looked like stars, and then form the amber in a crescent moon.

“Do you want me to help you put it on?”

You nodded, gathering your hair on your left shoulder. “I love it,” you spoke as you laid your left hand on the necklace, your eyes finding Zuko’s. “Thank you.”

Slowly, Zuko’s left hand found your right one, which was resting on the grass, and held it tight. “Once I become the Fire Lord and make you my Fire Lady, I will gift you the finest of jewels.”

A small smile formed on your lips, he was always so eager to show his love – you adored it. “That sounds lovely,” your left hand was still on the necklace as you spoke. “But I cannot imagine a better gift than this.” Zuko’s face lit up almost immediately. “Every time I look at it, I will remember how lucky we are to have each other.”

Zuko left an innocent kiss on your forehead, his lips were warm against your skin. “You are my favourite person in this world.”

Waves crashing against the ship woke you up from the dream – a memory from the life of a different person. Unconsciously, you moved your left hand to your neck, only to find emptiness there. There was no necklace. There hasn’t been a necklace for over three years.

Your mind was playing tricks on you now that you knew it was only a matter of time before you saw the Banished Prince.

Realising that sleep was not going to be easy to find, you wrapped yourself in your red gown and went outside, only to find the Princess there on the front deck. The cold wind of the ocean was causing you to use your breath of fire as you walked towards her.

Azula didn’t even look to see the owner of the footsteps, she could recognise you anytime. “Having trouble sleeping?” She asked, but it was rather a rhetorical question.

You nodded as you stood next to her, your hands rested on the railings. “Sometimes I feel like my dreams hate me,” you muttered. “What’s your excuse? Please don’t tell me you have been up all night, again.”

The Princess simply shrugged; her amber eyes were fixed on the waves. You heaved a sigh.

“Azula, darling, even you need to sleep once in a while.” You spoke with a tender voice, which caused Azula to look at you. “Do you really want your failure of a brother to see a slipping version of yourself just because you were too stubborn to admit that you were sleepy?”

“But I am not done calculating all the possible scenarios for tomorrow,” she spoke with a low voice that wanted to sound stubborn but in the end, she was just tired. “I must be ready for anything.”

Gently, you wrapped your left arm around Azula’s waist. Growing up together – and especially after Zuko was banished – you two had developed a special bond, perhaps such that Azula hadn’t shared with anyone before. Not even with her mother.

“Sleep deprived Azula won’t have the same capacity as a well-rested Azula – we have talked about this before.” You were slowly making both of you walk inside. “Your body needs to rest, your mind as well. With a crystal-clear mind, you will finish your calculations in no time tomorrow, I am sure of it.”

She would never admit it, but Azula loved the way you had this soft spot for her – it was too easy to read it from her eyes if one had known her long enough.

“Plus, sleep deprivation is bad for your skin – you will get dark rings under your eyes. Nobody wants that.”

Azula let out a chuckle as you stopped in front of her chambers. “You do know how to get to me.”

You let her waist go as you adjusted your red gown. “As long as you allow me to, Princess.” Your voice carried the hints of affection, sympathy, and loyalty. “I intend to be there to get to you, to assist you, and to kill for you, when you need me to.”

The edge of Azula’s lips curled upwards upon hearing you. “Allow yourself to rest,” she spoke as she walked into her chamber. “I can see that having to see Zuzu after all these years is starting to trouble you – I need you to bury the ghosts from the past.”

“We both know that the ghosts have all been buried long ago,” you said before heading back to your room. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be standing here with you today.”

At least, that was what you had believed for the past three years – that all the flames from the past were snuffed out – until Azula visited you in your chambers a week ago.

[Flashback]

You giggled as you ran your fingers through Shuzi’s smooth, dark hair; his head was rested on your lap as he laid on your bed. It had been a peaceful morning with Shuzi surprising you with breakfast in bed – apparently, he had been in the kitchens, preparing your breakfast on his own, declining any kind of help offered by the servants.

“Do you have any plans for today?” Shuzi asked, his amber eyes wandering on your face.

“You know that I need to keep up with learning the languages,” you responded as your hand moved down to cup his face. “And I have this family dinner later today.”

Shuzi pouted in a playful way. “Won’t I get to see my girlfriend for the rest of the day?” he spoke imitating a baby’s voice, which caused you to giggle once again. “That’s too long!”

Before you could lean in and leave a small kiss on his nose, the doors to your chambers were opened to reveal Azula standing outside. She was already in her royal uniforms but without the armour – compared to the sleeping robes you still wore. Which made you realise that you hadn’t even combed your hair.

“Aw, adorable,” Azula spoke with a rather soft tone which sounded a bit too sarcastic and caused Shuzi you sit up straight. “Shuzi, give us a moment.”

Of course, just like everyone else in the Fire Nation, Shuzi wouldn’t dare make the Princess repeat herself. Hence, he quickly stood up, gathered his stuff, placed a quick kiss on your lips and left your chambers. As the servants closed the doors, you raised a questioning eyebrow at Azula.

“He is not a puppy, you know.”

Azula made herself comfortable on your couch while watching you walk towards the table to pour yourself some tea – it was still warm enough. “Well, he certainly allows himself to be used as one.” She responded, causing you to heave an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, please – only a fool could miss the way you get him to do everything for you.” Azula crossed her right leg over the left one. “A little bit girlish coquetry, a little bit kissing and congratulations! You get the finest top knot pin with rubies and black diamonds.”

Holding the tea with your both hands, you turned back to face Azula, the eyebrow still arched. “Azula, there is no need to be jealous over something so small – you are the princess, you can literally get anything you want at any time.”

“Me? Jealous?” Azula let out her well-known, condescending laughter. “You have said it yourself – I am the Princess. There isn’t possibly a person in this world that I could ever be jealous of.”

Once again, you heaved a sigh – Azula knew very well that you could see through her almost all the time for you knew her way too well. However, at moments like this, she would show the Ozai in herself by pretending that the deep connection you shared didn’t even exist.

Sometimes, you tended to get mad at her for such behaviour, but you tried to remind yourself why Azula acted the way she did and how you could heal her – and it wasn’t by approaching her the same horrible way Ozai had been doing for all these years.

“Azula..?”

The Princess brushed you off and you decided not to push further, you would probably have more private time with her after the day was over. “Anyways, I have some exceptionally important news for you.”

You took a long sip from your tea as you leant the table behind you. “I am all ears.”

“Father has assigned me a crucial task after the recent outrageous failure in the North,” Azula began explaining and you simply nodded – not that you believed the failure to be outrageous but to signal her to continue.

The moment you had heard about the plans to siege the Northern Watertribe from your father, you had known it was not going to work out the way Ozai had fashioned it to. There was a reason why the North hadn’t even received a single blow in the last hundred years.

Azula slowly stood up. “I am to stop Zuzu and Uncle from further disgracing my family. Father wants me to capture them and bring back as prisoners of the Fire Nation.”

“Will you be sailing to Earth Kingdom, then?” You asked with a curious look in your amber eyes.

“We will be sailing to Earth Kingdom.” Azula corrected you with a smirk on her lips. “I want you to come with me on this mission.”

The teacup between your hands fell down onto the ground, breaking into million pieces.

[Flashback ends]

Sleep hadn’t been eager to pull you into its soothing embrace that night. Before going on to this mission with Azula, your only concern had been whether you would miss Shuzi or not – well, you two hadn’t really spent several days apart ever since you got together. You being a noble resident in the Royal Palace due to your father’s military work and Shuzi’s family being the Fire Lord’s foremost advisors, you two could easily spend any night together at your chambers.

However, instead of missing Shuzi’s arms wrapped around your body at night, you had found yourself missing the peaceful sleep which wasn’t haunted by the ghosts from your past. It disturbed you greatly that even the anticipation of getting to see Zuko after three long years was starting to disrupt everything you had built since he was gone.

It hadn’t been easy to rebuild – no, it had been the most painful thing you had ever done in your sixteen years of life and you certainly did not intend to let the Banished Prince burn your whole world to ashes.

Not this time.

#prince zuko #atla zuko #zuko x reader #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #princess azula #zuko #zuko x oc

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mochinomnoms · 1 year

Text

The Private (not) Thoughts of a Moray Chapter 3: They say it’s gotten out of hand, and I’m obsessed with you

Gender Neutral Reader x Jade Leech

Chapter 3 preview:

Hmm…maybe they’ll need tutoring? We can be alone then…perhaps in musicology, you’re not a very good singer, are you my pearl? …bitch. You huffed, turning your head to strictly face Riddle and Yev, blatantly ignoring Jade, who seemed confused, but still cooed. Jade filled your head with an image of you pouting up at him, cutely rather than annoyed Are you pouting? What for? Oh, you’re so cute~ Stupid eel, it’s cause of you! Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid—

[wc} - 8,471

[notes] - *dabs* enjoy and let me know if you can guess which characters the freshman are based on

back to chapter list

Chapter 3: I’m tired of this grandpa (that’s too damn bad)

You gazed into your cup as your coffee gradually lightened to a soft cream color from the oat milk, rubbing the tiredness from your eyes, despite the 9-hour sleep from last night, and stared at the young man that sat across from you in the cafeteria.

He was quite taller than many of your classmates, about Sebek’s height if you had to guess, though Sebek had grown a few inches over the summer. He was also fair, but still sported a warm complexion, which complemented his poofy, brown ponytail and dark brown eyes. In his hands, he fiddled with a small, golden necklace with a compass attached to it.

Said man met your eyes and gave an awkward smile and wave, which you (equally awkwardly) returned before turning back to your cup of coffee to gulp it down in one go.

Fuck, fuck that’s hot. Why’d I chug thaaaaaat?

“Ah, are you okay Housewarden Y/N?” He gave you a concerned look. “That coffee was quite hot, wasn’t it?”

You nodded quietly, clearing your throat, “I’m fine y-you don’t have to call me that, just my name or Prefect is fine James.”

Dammit, they told me that earlier! I’m sorry Housewarden Y/N! I don’t mean to disrespect!!

You sighed, I really wasn’t physically or emotionally prepared to have first-years in Ramshackle, damn you Crowley.

The student before you was James Bartholomew, Class A-12, and he was an eager, if a bit anxious man. He bore the rose-red vest and arm ribbon of Heartslabyul well, even if he wasn’t currently residing in their dorm.

It seemed that, even with the chaos of last year, Night Raven College was practically bursting at the seems from the large influx of freshmen this year. Nearly 100 more students than average were accepted by the Dark Mirror, with no housing to accommodate.

While Scarabia and Diasomnia were just bursting at the seams with their new students, Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, and Pomefiore were well over capacity. Luckily, Savanaclaw and Ignihyde were still rather spacious, as they had been the last few years, and students were placed in their spare rooms while the others were renovated. Crowley, ever soooo generous, offered your dorm up to the remaining students without consulting you.

James, as well as about 20 others, were said students.

“Good morning!” chipper, crisp voices piped up from behind you, interrupting the poor freshman’s internal panic attack.

Three more young students, triplets each sporting the deep midnight violet of Pomefiore, smiled cheerfully and waved synchronously. Despite being triplets, they looked remarkably different.

“It’s us!” the one on the left began, “Wynfred!” He was average height, with short curly red hair that held two small braids with a golden moon holding emeralds, which framed his face. He was the palest of the three, covered in freckles and had sharp green eyes. Wynfred gestured to the sibling on his left.

“Marion!” A short, maybe even more so than Riddle, man spread his arms up in joy as he shouted his name. Marion was more tanned than his sibling, and had softer, rounder features which included his droopy brown eyes. His hair was held up in a high ponytail braid, where the end held the same charm as Wynfred, replacing the stone with jaspers.

“Silas!” The last shouted, jumping in front of their siblings, ignorant of their hands smacking into their faces. Silas was the tallest, fair, and had wide, light blue eyes. His hair was long, held in a half up-down do, with his hair band holding his matching moon charm decorated with an amethyst.

Once the former two composed themselves, all three spread their arms out in theatrical fashion, before answering in synchrony, “The Salson Brothers!”

…Why the fuck are they introducing themselves like that?

Stifling a laugh at James’s face, who seemed equal parts intrigued and disturbed at the triplet’s dazzling entrance, you instead cleared your throat and faced all four students.

“Hello Y/N!” the triplets answered all at once. “Hello James!”

Oh, they are so fucking weird.

“Hi everyone, how’s lunch treating you?” you stifled a laugh at James, and looked at the clock. “We have about an hour and a half! So we have some time to eat, and you can ask me anything you want regarding your classes.”

Clapping your hands together, you gestured for the triplets to sit at the table. While they did, you offered Grim part of your sandwich, who happily scarfed it down.

Mmmmmhhh! Soooo yummyyy~

Marion and Silas sat next to both sides of you, while Wynfield had taken the seat next to James, who still looked mildly uncomfortable. Taking another bite of your sandwich, you clasped your hands together before speaking.

“I’ll get it out of the way, I know Ramshackle isn’t the most glamorous of all the dorms—” you paused, sighing, “—it’s barely been a fully equipped dorm for a few months…”

It’s not too bad! We all get our own rules since there’s no one else! Silas seemed the most chipper of the tree, if his thoughts were anything to go by. I like the ghosties, they’re funny!

“As the…housewarden,” saying the words felt foreign. “I will do my best to make sure you’re all comfortable.”

You shifted your eyes to stare at your hands, which were wringing nervously.

“I am a sophomore, a year your senior, and I am one half of a student with Grim, who you all met last night.” You looked up and smiled apologetically, as your familiar dozed off in a food coma.

“I’m afraid he’s rather food motivated, but I promise that he’s quite fun to be around.”

Gesturing your hand to the first freshman, you asked, “What’s your name, since we’ve yet to hear yours?”

EEK!

Jumping in his seat, said young man straightened nervously and took a deep breath.

“I’m James Bartholemew! I’m from Neversea Harbor, on the western edge of the Queendom of Roses!”

He took a bow, stopping midway and instead sitting back down out of embarrassment.

“Sorry, force of habit…”

Wynfred stood up, and fluffed his hair before continuing, “I am Wynfred Salson, from Shalem, a nation out west across the sea, as are my siblings.”

Gesturing to the two across the table, two brightened and giggled.

“I’m Marion Salson—” his sibling interrupted

“—and I’m Silas Salson! Hehe!”

Smiling at the trio, you nodded, noticing a second pair of students join your table. These two were Octavinelle students. However, You weren’t sure if they were human. Apparently, it was rare for fae and merfolk to leave their homelands for a place like NRC. Azul once told you that merfolk, while fond of the stories like the mermaid princess, were at their core homebodies that were deeply attached to their homeland and wary of the surface. You remembered asking him why he and the twins had been three of only 5 merfolk at the school at the time.

“Human and merfolk relations have significantly improved in the last few centuries, but most still aren’t fond of needing transformation potions to consistently upkeep their legs. A visit once in a while is fine, but the paperwork required to simply receive a potion permit for non-magic users can take months. For those that stay longer, like the twins and I, it’s akin to a medication, lest you want to see us grow webbing and gills?”

You wouldn’t have been aware that the two were mermen if they hadn’t mentioned it. The smaller one of the pair was a tan young man just over 5 foot, sporting a slicked back black and gray undercut. Despite his height, the young mer was quite muscular and intimidating, sharp, and dark brown eyes that seemed to stare right into your soul.

They probably would seem so if the following words didn’t tumble out of his razor-sharp toothed mouth.

“Your buddy's lookin' sharp today, Prefect! ou ain't gonna slip in a good word for me, are ya? Cross my heart, I know how to treat a dame proper!” he drawled, sliding himself in between you and Silas while draping an arm over your shoulders.

“Mmph! T'ony, y'ur elbow's i' my face!" Silas whined, attempting to push against an unmovable object.

Dame? Who—oh.

“Do…you mean… Epel?” you gestured at your friend who was currently sitting next to your usual group as he carved an apple into a spade for Deuce (who was delighted).

“You see, a looker like her deserves a tough guy like me!” And, well, I can't do a pretty thing like you any favors. “Mama always raised a gentleman, so—”

You raised your hand up, interrupting him mid-sentence. Can’t do me any favors? What?

“You do know that Epel is a guy, right?” you paused, giving you both a moment to look at Epel, who noticed and gave a happy wave.

Waving back, you continued in a quieter voice, “He’s not fond of being mistaken for a girl, or being called cute, so mind your volume.”

Oh, she a he…

Tony paused for a bit in contemplation, before he made a sound of dismissal. “So, that a 'no' on introducin' me to him, or what?”

You snorted back a cackle, covering your mouth as giggles managed to escape you. You nodded at Tony, patting the surrounding arm in affirmation.

“I’ll introduce you, no worries.”

Tony faced the rest of the freshman and began to introduce himself, “What's the word? Tony Lombardi 's the name, but you can just call me Jaws.”

Like the movie? That’s a bit spot on for a shark-mer.

Grinning, Tony barred his rows of pointy teeth that could rival the Leeches and snapped his jaw at James, who blanched at the sight.

“That's how the crew back home knows me.”

Ridiculous, idiots the lot of you!

You turned your head to look at the other Octavinelle freshman, who was as exasperated as his thoughts sounded. He was taller than average, built like a beanpole with how skinny he was. While he didn’t have any outwardly remarkable features that clocked him as another other than human, his light, wavy coral pink hair and light green eyes weren’t exactly common for even the most colorful humans in Twisted Wonderland. He also sported a beauty mark under his lip on the right side of his face, along with several soft freckles spread throughout his face.

Meeting your eyes, the man scowled and raised his brow at you.

What are you looking at? Stupid human.

You quickly looked away from him, though you could hear his growing complaints.

Stupid humans with their stupid faces, I had to hear everyone talk about you all summer. You can barely do magic, what are you even doing here? The headmage should’ve thrown you out to sea to drown if he had any brain in him.

Seemingly sharing a sixth sense for his friend’s animosity, Tony reached over to yank the unnamed fellow down to settle between you and Marion.

“Hey, don't be a jerk, be a stand-up guy and say hello and introduce yourself proper.” Letting out a nasally laugh, Tony moved to whisper into his peer’s ear, just loud enough for you to hear,

“Unless you're itchin' for me to spill the beans to your big bro—”

Tony was shoved off as the young man cleared his throat and straightened his uniform, “My name is Aspen Albamar, I’m a freshman in Octavinelle.”

Curt and to the point, can I go now?

Wynfred made a face as he eyed Aspen up and down, as said freshman followed in kind.

“I saw that you had a transformation potion,” he started, ignoring Aspen’s sputtering noise. “You sure don’t look like an obvious merperson, what kind are you—”

“T-that was in my nightstand! W-why are you looking through my personal items?!” Aspen angrily hissed, his cool facade fading rather quickly.

What is wrong with you???

“That’s not important, answer my question—”

“I will not! It’s none of your business!”

Wynfred rolled his eyes as he was interrupted again. So hostile! I was only asking a question!

Interrupted by an intentionally loud cough, you sighed in relief at the sight of your five friends.

Jack was looking between Aspen and Wynfred as their small spat was paused mid-exchange, before opening his mouth, “Hey, Y/N, how’d being a housewarden treating you? These freshmen giving you any trouble?”

Gasp! A dog! Silas perked at the sight of Jack, visibly in awe, to which the wolf beastman was oblivious to. James, on the other hand, stiffened in front of Ace and Deuce, who you remembered were technically his upperclassman.

You found the idea of your two boys being a “shining example” of Heartslaybul morals laughable.

“Hi guys, no it’s fine Jack, we’re just getting to know each other,” you gestured to each of the boys as you introduced them, “This is James, Wynfred, Marion, Silas—dear please don’t touch Jack’s tail—Tony, and Aspen.”

I still have like 15 other students’ names to memorize, geez.

“Guys, these are my friends, Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, and Sebek!” You beamed at them as they all greeted the freshman with various ‘hellos’ and ‘what’s ups’. “Jack and Sebek are actually vice-housewardens for Savanaclaw and Diasomnia, too!”

E-eh? Vices??

James looked close to puking while Silas still attempted to swat at Jack’s moving tail, their brothers looking amused. Tony, on the other hand, was quick to throw his arm over Epel’s shoulders, who looked visibly confused.

“Hey there, doll. Names Tony, but you can just call me the dreamboat you've been waitin' for~” he cooed, either oblivious to, or blatantly ignoring Epel’s souring mood.

Jack, Deuce, and Sebek all made noises of confusion, while Ace snorted in amusement.

Eh? What's this feller reckon he's doin'? If he don’ mosey on outta my space, I'll just have to give him a good ol' nose-thumpin'...

Epel looked ready to snap at the other man, while Ace made eye contact with you and thought, I bet you that the frosh’s gonna get launched out the window in 30 seconds.

Before that could, thankfully, occur, Tony yelped as Aspen reached over to pull at his ear, dragging him away from the now amused Epel.

Aspen bowed his head politely and smiled at his upperclassmen. “I apologize for this brute’s behavior.”

He sided-eyed Tony, who was now whining about his ear, still currently pinched between his fingers, hurting.

“I’m afraid he skipped his land training camp, so he’s not aware of the differences of courting culture for surface dwellers”

Ace let out a cackle before covering his mouth after Jack harshly elbowed him in his stomach. Deuce shared a look with Sebek as Epel turned pink in a flustered anger. You could hear Deuce mutter something to Sebek about short people getting ‘angry real quick, huh?’

“Well, here’s a lesson then,” Epel grumbled shaking a finger at Tony like a mother chastising her children, “Humans don’t tend to enjoy people who invade their personal space and call them names. So unless you want to get beat up, I suggest you respect that.”

Aspen and Tony both perked up, sharing a look before smirking and looking back.

“Ah, well, some of the more predacious merfolk do enjoy a good bit of roughhousing with their mates.” Aspen chuckled as Tony continued.

“Yeah! So fighting one of us for flirtin’ probably wouldn’ help.” The two giggled as Epel sputtered and grabbed onto your arm.

“Ain’t chu their housewarden?” Epel hissed under his breath, “Tell them to quit with the teasin’! I’m their upperclassman, they should respect me!”

You patted Epel’s hand as you murmured some words of comfort to your friend.

I should probably send Tony off to his next class, if just for your mental state.

Giving your freshmen a smile, you asked, “Say, I believe some of you have your history class next? Why don’t the others take you, so you can find the best seats?”

Meh? When did everyone get here? Grim yawned, awoken from his post-lunch nap as he climbed Deuce’s shoulder.

“Oh good timing, Grim!” The familiar perked up, still waking up from his early afternoon food nap. “I think we split up for this next class, why don’t you take James, Aspen, and Tony with you, Ace, and Deuce to Trein’s class?”

Why do I have to watch over a bunch of newbies? The Great Grim’s too great for something so little!

Ace and Grim groaned as you continued, “I’m pretty sure it’s on the way to your guys' duel class?”

You batted your eyelashes at the ginger, who rolled his eyes and gestured for the three to follow him. Yeah, yeah. I’m coming over tonight to eat your snacks though.

Jack nodded, catching on to your plan. “We can take the other three over to Professor Kallpa’s botany class!”

The triplets stood to follow Jack, Silas still focused on the swishing tail, though he stopped trying to grab it. Wynfred and Marion started to excitedly ask Epel about Vil and “what was it like having THE Vil Schoenheit as your housewarden?” Epel deflated.

You sighed as both groups left the cafeteria, looking up at Sebek who met your eyes with a firm look.

Now, now. No time for resting! You’re a housewarden now!

Before he could open his mouth to reiterate this into words, you interrupted with a stretch. You could feel a satisfying pop from your spine.

“Hey, Sebek, you wanna walk with me to the third-years’ halls? I gotta meet Riddle there, we share the advanced potionology class.”

Wonderful! I’d expect nothing less from the Young Master’s human! I should’ve never doubted his choice in friends!

“Of course! I can tell you all about the Young Master’s time back in Briar Valley! You know, you missed quite a lot after your visit! For example, did you know…”

You smiled and nodded along to Sebek as he rambled about Malleus’s time back home. Particularly about the amount of times he simply disappeared from the castle, causing a massive ruckus until Silver found him admiring a new gargoyle added to the north tower.

A few minutes in, you saw Riddle walking into your path from the adjacent hall. He perked up upon seeing you and smiled, nodding politely at Sebek.

“Hello Prefect, glad to see you coming over early for class,” Riddle turned to address Sebek, “Sebek, I have three more freshmen that have shown interest in the equestrian club, could you please add these names and numbers to the list?”

The half-fae brightened at the prospect of new club members and nodded, taking the sheet of paper from Riddle’s hands and placing it in his folder.

“Wonderful! I will be sure to send those reminders out tonight! I’m sure any self-respecting student would jump at the chance to join our club!”

Beaming, Sebek noticed the clock on the wall and bowed his head goodbye to you and Riddle. “I must be heading off to my next class, I will be sure to send out the reminders for the first meeting, Riddle—Oh!”

“Prefect!” Gave you a stern look as he continued, “I will be coming over this weekend to start our weekly call with the Young Master. I expect you to put everything else on hold for him! I will see you after class.”

Riddle gestured in the direction of your shared potionology class, which was right down the hall.

“Shall we? Now that you are a housewarden, I expect you to set yourself as an example for our freshmen as well.” he asserted.

I’d expect nothing less of my favorite junior. Perhaps I should give you your own special seat at the unbirthday parties?

You chuckled out, “Of course, Riddle. Your freshmen have been particularly nice, I imagine you gave them a veeeery stern talking to before they came to me?”

He huffed, holding the classroom door open before he followed you in.

“I simply told them that, unless they wanted to lose their heads, then they’d do best to treat your word as doctrine.”

Ah, that explains James’s behavior, maybe I should tell him to take it back down a notch—

My pearl! Please wait right there for me, I must find a seat right next to you!

You looked up from your peripheral vision and made eye contact with the 6-foot bane of your existence. Jade gave you a small smile.

Darling!

Immediately grasping Riddle’s arm in a crushing grip, you yanked him to follow you to a pair of seats in the middle row, a student already in the spot next to your right, leaving Riddle to sit in the only available spot next to you.

Yelping as he tripped over his feet and the desk chair, Riddle gave you a glare as you looked at him “innocently” in your newly, self-designated spot.

“Look Riddle, seats right smack dab in the middle of the middle row! Isn’t this nice? We can see the board at, like, the optimum view now!” you gave the less than amused Riddle a nervous smile, looking at Jade as he entered the room rather coolly

He was wailing in grief.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo, darling… why didn’t you wait just a bit longer…

“I believe,” interrupting your focus, Riddle crossed his arms as we softly muttered, “the middle of the row would be better for our academics, as—”

“Nope!” You interrupted, looking at the doorway which was now missing the shorter Leech. “Right here is fine, yessiry, take a seat. Take a seat. Right next to me.”

Riddle blinked. Huh.

“Right there.”

Are you alright, Prefect?

“Sit. Now. Please?”

Okay…

Riddle took his seat next to you, looking more confused than annoyed now, as you sighed a sigh of relief.

Listen to you sigh. You sound so tired, what’s exhausting you my love?

You stiffened, trying to pinpoint from where Jade’s thoughts were coming from.

You do look oh so delightful in your uniform! Those are new slacks, I did like the skirt, but they fit you very well. Ah! And your cute little dorm ribbon, it’s wonderful—oh, I should say something about it, then I can have your attention.

“Hello Prefect, how—”

“SAY RIDDLE!” You shouted, drawing your companion’s attention, as well as everyone else in and entering the classroom in an attempt to avoid any manner of interaction with Jade

What a weirdo…

I wonder what’s with the Prefect?

Quiet the fuck down.

“U-um, say, Riddle,” you said softer, cheeks turning pink as you smiled at him sheepishly.

I do cherish you so, but what is wrong with you my friend?

“Do you want to make some sort of schedule with me to—uh—make sure your students come and do their dorm duties and stuff?”

Yes! Good excuse! Sorry-not-sorry, Jade! I gotta do housewarden stuff with Riddle, no time to talky-talk! Nope, nope, nope!

“Ah! Great idea Y/N, I couldn’t have suggested a better one myself” Riddle brought out his phone and started scrolling through a folder labeled ‘Freshman Schedules,’ showing it to you.

“I was considering reworking the dorm duties shifts to make it so that the Ramshackle students would work less during the school week, but make up for it by working extra during the weekends.”

Riddle continued to explain his new shift system as you nodded along, attention flitting between him and Jade, who you noticed out of the corner of your eye was sitting in the spot right in front of you.

Aaaaaaaah! I’m sitting in front of Y/N! I just wanna turn around and stare. You do have three of our students, yes? Perhaps I can use that excuse to speak with you! I can even ask you to meet me in private to discuss the details, oh~ It’ll work so perfectly!

An image of you and Jade alone in what you thought was one of the private rooms in Mostro Lounge, lip locked and heavy petting each other flashed through your mind.

“Jade, we’ll get caught here if we—Aaaah~” Jade was down on his knees, licking soothingly on the bite he’d left on your thigh while you ran your fingers in his hair. “Mmh, and? Everyone will know you’re mine then~” In response, you yanked Jade up to crash your lips against his, falling backwards so that you both fell on the couch with him on top. The two of you giggled against each other’s lips as you unbuttoned Jade’s shirt, hand gliding down his chest and reaching—

You covered your cheeks in your palms, shaking the scene away as if it was a bee hovering over your face. You rested your head in your hands, trying to pay attention to what Riddle was saying. Something about making two students head of the freshman, one for Ramshackle specifically.

I’ll ask you now! Yes, then I can whisk you away. Riddle seems just about done talking anyway.

The devil may speak in tongues, but he also speaks cruel truths, as Riddle ended his explanation. “Yes, I have a few students staying with you in mind to be the Heartslaybul leader at Ramshackle, let us meet tomorrow for the unbirthday party to work out schedules and choose one of those students.”

You nodded, bracing yourself for the inevitable. However, it never came. Voice or thoughts, all was silent in front of you, though you didn’t dare move your gaze in front of you and test the sand.

…Ah my heart is racing at the thought…are my palm’s sweaty? Is it just me or did they look scared seeing me earlier?

You took out your notebook and magipen, adored with a mauve gem that matched the one on Grim’s collar, and started to write the date and class subject on the first page.

What should I say? Humans aren’t fond of spontaneous love confessions, so I have to work into that… It would be strange if I spoke to them too casually. Oh dear, this is a dilemma.

You relaxed, as mean as it might be, you were relieved that Jade seemed to be too anxious now to really have a conversation with you.

“Hello Prefect, since you were discussing it with Riddle, may we speak about managing the few Octavinelle students you have in your care?”

DAMMIT! GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT!!!

You looked up, still cursing Jade in your head, and gave him a small, but polite smile. “Sure, Jade, but it’d probably be better for Azul to be involved, about I come over later this week to meet with him? Could you see if he’s available?”

Jade, nonchalantly as ever, gave a polite smile and nod.

“Of course, I’ll be sure to speak with Azul tonight and have him reach out with a scheduled time.”

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

“I’ll send him a text, but based on the schedule I have, how does Thursday evening sound?”

Why don’t we discuss it! Alone! Just me and you, my pearl. I’ll even show you the makeshift greenhouse I built, you’ll just love it!

“Sounds good, I’ll only stay for a bit though! Gargoyle studies club is then and someone has to keep Hornton’s club up and running you know!”

You thought you could see Jade’s eyebrow twitch at the mention of Malleus, but before he could speak, the sound of Crewel’s wand whipping in his hand echoed in the room. Everyone drew at attention at the professor,

“Good afternoon pups, welcome to Advanced Potionology and Magical Pharmaceuticals. Today we will start by reviewing the syllabus and my expectations for this class.”

Crewel handed out small stacks of papers, you assumed the syllabus, to the students at the front rows to be passed out behind them as he continued.

“Seeing that you all needed extraordinary marks in your previous potions class and final exams in order to place in this class, I expect nothing but the best from you pups.”

As Crewel continued to explain his expectations, you saw Jade turning to hand you his stack. Pursing your lips, you reached over to take the papers, the tips of his fingers ghosting over yours ever so slightly.

You recoiled, papers in hand, like you’d been shocked and nodded at him. Jade on the other hand was absolutely elated as his hands ever so slightly shook in excitement, hardly noticeable, turning back around to face the board.

AAAAAAAAAAAA! CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE—

You took a deep breath as you handed the stack back, trying to ignore the flood of infatuated thoughts from in front of you. You also decided to ignore the sudden images of you in maid lingerie.

Seriously?

“Each of you should have received a syllabus by now. For the structure of this class, we will be splitting you into groups of four, let’s see here…”

Crewel began naming off groups of four, waving his wand to rearrange the seats and tables for the groups, cauldrons, tubes, and similar items floating from the nearby closet and setting on. It kinda looks like a chemistry classroom now.

The first few groups set themselves up at their new tables, while you perked up hearing your name.

“Riddle Rosehearts and Y/N L/N” you and Riddle shared a happy look, sharing a smile. “With Jade Leech and Yev Quispe.”

YES!

Your smile dropped, a nervous look replacing it, much to Riddle’s concern.

“Are you alright Y/N? You look a bit nervous?” Riddle placed a hand at the small of your back as he guided you to your new seating lay out.

“It’s just Jade and Yev, you've met Jade before and Yev is very polite, if a bit full of himself.” Riddle whispered the last bit to you, making you giggle your nerves out.

Crewel smacked his wand-whip for your attention again. “Once you’ve settled into your groups, start with a class introduction, become familiar with your group mates, as they’ll remain the same for the year.”

Clearing his throat, your red-headed friend took the lead.

“My name is Riddle Rosehearts, Heartslaybul’s housewarden.” He gestured to the student next to him, which happened to be Jade.

“You both already know me, but for our new friend here-” Jade politely nodded at Yev, who returned the gesture. “I am Jade Leech, vice housewarden for Octavinelle.”

Yev puffed his chest out, gracefully gesturing his hand to his chest.

“I’m Yev Quispe, I was recently placed as Pomefiore’s housewarden, I do believe we had few interactions the last two years, so it’s a pleasure to met you.”

Yev locked eyes with you, smirking as he eyed you up and down.

And then there’s you.

“And I’ve yet to be properly introduced to you, the infamous Prefect. How about you introduce yourself?”

It’s you! My little pearl! You chose to not glance at Jade.

You nodded politely, responding a bit shyly, “Hi, we met at the check in, but I’m Y/N L/N, I-uh-skipped a year aaaand I guess I’m Ramshackle’s housewarden? Hehe…”

Despite the proximity between Riddle and Yev to you, Jade’s thoughts overpowered them,

Y/N’s class introduction…their voice was… really cute. Their moans are probably really cute too.

“Aaah~ R-right there Jade! Your mouth feels—mmf~”

You shut your eyes tightly, rubbing your temples and eyes harsh enough that you could see spots spattering across your vision.

God I wish I could turn this off.

“Uh, Prefect?”

“Yes, Riddle?” you sighed, dragging your hands down your cheeks.

“Are you alright?”

You held an ‘okay’ symbol with your hand. “Yep, what were we talking about?”

Riddle explained the class schedule for the semester, pointing out when certain papers and projects were due and working out a meeting time for your group.

As the class continued, everyone’s thoughts mellowed out a bit, even Jade’s own. For the most part, your peers were focused on figuring out their plan for their groups and work. Surprisingly, there were very few thoughts about things like ‘what’s for dinner?’ or ‘I wanna take a nap after class today.’ or even ‘this class is boring as hell.’

Maaaan, I’ve been hanging around A-Deuce and Grim for too long, I forget everyone in this class are a bunch of high-strung overachievers.

You looked at Jade who was currently taking notes down as Riddle and Yev discussed (argued more like) about whose schedule should take priority.

“Our meetings must be after 5:00pm! Rule number 345: Croquet must never be played after 5:00pm-”

“I’m sorry, but I’m not privy to follow the ridiculous rules of your dorm.” Yev sneered at Riddle’s angry flush. “I am not available after 5, I have a very strict self-care routine that must not be interrupted-”

The two continued bickering, cursing each other out in their heads.

You pompous fool! Ridiculous? What’s ridiculous is you and the “secret” lab that everyone knows about! How is it secret when everyone knows about it!?

Who gives a damn about your 810 rules? One of them is contingent of a hedgehog sneezing, and I’m being ridiculous?

Your eyes kept darting between the two, slightly amused. It was like watching a game of tennis, where one thought the ball was hit just enough out of reach for him to win the match, just for the other to jump over and continue their fight.

As they continued, you decided to daydream a bit and listen in to the other students and your professor. It seemed that Crewel was thinking about stopping at Sam’s at the end of the day for some treats for one of his dogs.

Genghis has been a bit lethargic lately, maybe she’d appreciate a new snack…something heart healthy for her though so nothing processed.

A few of the students were thinking about what they’d have for dinner, one of the Scarabia students was lamenting about being put on chopping duty by Jamil.

He’s gonna make me chop everything again I just know it! He always says I do it wrong, why does he keep making me do it then?

You hid your amused smile behind your palm as you rested your head against it. You decided to look at Jade, whose thoughts were rather quiet at the moment.

Jade was still dutifully writing down notes, of what at this point, you didn’t know. He also was amused at the two housewardens still bickering, albeit less heated now.

“May I suggest we meet during study hall?” Jade asked, drawing the other two’s attention. “I do believe they overlap for us, do they not?”

Yev shook his head and gestured towards you. “Not for the sophomores, don’t you have a morning study hall, Prefect?”

“Oh, yeah and I kinda need study hall anyways to catch up on all the practical magic stuff.” You replied sheepishly.

“Of course,” Riddle chimed in agreement. “It’s to be expected since you didn’t grow up in Twisted Wonderland.”

Yev rolled his eyes, while Jade’s focus was shifted to you once more.

Hmm…maybe they’ll need tutoring? We can be alone then…perhaps in musicology, you’re not a very good singer, are you my pearl?

…bitch.

You huffed, turning your head to strictly face Riddle and Yev, blatantly ignoring Jade, who seemed confused, but still cooed.

Jade filled your head with an image of you pouting up at him, cutely rather than annoyed

Are you pouting? What for? Oh, you’re so cute~

Stupid eel, it’s cause of you! Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid—

“Prefect!” Riddle called for you, startling you out of your inner rant. “Pay attention! I asked if you had another suggestion for a meeting time?”

“Oh, um,” you cleared your throat. “Maybe during lunchtime? It’s the same for everyone, and we’ll be heading over here anyway soooo?”

Riddle nodded in agreement while Yev shrugged and replied, “I suppose that could work, I do have a private ‘lab’ of sort we could use-”

“Is it really private if everyone knows about it?” Jade asked, looking amused at a now visibly annoyed Yev.

“Do you want the room or not?!”

“We’ll take it!” You and the other two exclaimed together, right as the bell rung for the next class.

“Alright pups!” Crewel spoke up over the bell as you and the other students began to pack up. “I do hope you and your group had a productive discussion, tomorrow we will review the class schedule and start our first module! Have a good day pups.”

You could here the internal groans and whines of some of your classmates. Quite a few spent the class time straight up arguing with their group, not unlike Riddle and Yev.

Damn it, why’d I have to sit next to these dumbasses???

Crap, we just talked about our partners and dates, maybe I shouldn’t’ve grouped with friends?

A shiver down your spine alerted you to Jade’s voice before you even heard it, like you were developing a sense for danger, much like an arachnid superhero from your world.

Perhaps I should ask my pearl on a date? Yes, ease into it with a study session first, then we can follow up with a dinner at the lounge, I’ll make Floyd cook it.

You froze in panic, images of the two of you transitioning from a normal, admittedly nice dinner to the both of you wrapped up in each other’s naked bodies in his bedroom.

Yes, I’ll lock him out of his room if he doesn’t agree.

Contemplating the best escape plan, you clumsily stacked your notebooks and pen in your arms, locking on Riddle as your savior.

“Riddle—”

“Ah, apologies Prefect,” Riddle started to walk away as he looked at the time. “Could you message me at the end of the day? My next class is in the wing across the castle, and I must leave now if I’m to make it on time. Goodbye!”

Ah, good then perhaps I could escort them to class in his stead? Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jade approaching you.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck, what’s that other asshole’s name? Yev!

You turned to ask Yev if he would walk with you to the next class. “Um, Yev could I—”

Ugh, what do you want? Yev smiled at you and gave a “sympathetic” look.

“I’m sorry, could this wait until tomorrow? I must be getting to my next class.” He waved you off as he walked away and called over his shoulder, “I’m sure whatever it is, you can handle it, after all you’re the ‘Ramshackle Prefect’, ta-ta now!”

Shit! No, please! I don’t care if you’re an asshole, come back!

“Oh my Prefect, did you want someone to walk with you to your next class?”

Startled, you looked up at the teal-haired man, who loomed over you with a glint in his eyes and his usual smile. You could tell he was holding back from just giving you a gleeful grin.

“Ah, no! It’s fine,” You started to stutter as you waved your hands around, “I have to go to alllll way to the botanical gardens, l walk by myself—”

Jade interrupted you as he placed a hand on the small of your back to guide you out of the classroom. “It’s no trouble at all, I’m heading to the fields for flight class, so it won’t be out of my way at all.”

Aaaaah! Cute! My cute little Y/N! So small, so soft, you’d look smaller even if you were on top of me…

No touchy! Nope! I’m not encouraging this at all!

You slightly sped up your pace, placing a small distance between him and you as Jade daydreamed about your thighs spread across his lap, arms wrapped around his neck as he shoved his face into your neck.

“If you say so…” You quietly replied, moving so that you were walking side by side instead.

Jade seemed disappointed at the lost of contact, but content to be by your side.

We do seem like a couple right now, don’t we? After all what gentleman wouldn’t escort his beloved to their destination?

You stayed silent, hoping that the lack of conversation would deter him. The crowd of students in the hallways dispersed as you exited the castle onto Main Street, leaving you two alone minus a on or two other students.

Ah, just the two of us, this is the perfect time to ask them out!

Taking in a sharp breath, you braced for the words you dreaded to come out of Jade’s mouth.

Yes…

You waited.

…Any moment now. I’ll ask.

Sam’s shop was in view, thus the spot where you two would spit was coming up.

Hmm…my chest…hurts? Why is it hard to breathe?

The gymnasium was in view now. You peered at Jade from the corner of your eye. He still looked as nonchalant as you’d come to expect.

This is fine. It’s not as if they’ll say no…probably. Ha…it’s very hard to breath now. Is this what drowning feels like? Why am I dreading this? I want to ask them out! …Right?

You cleared your throat as you walked away and into the direction of the gardens. “I’ll be heading over here, uh, see you tomorrow?”

Jade nodded and gave you a pleasant smile as the sounds of screams and sobs echoed in your mind.

“Of course, I look forward to working with you Prefect, have a good day.”

CURSES! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT! WHYYYY—

You quickened your pace, almost jogging, as you heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, god I can’t wait to lay down and just pretend I never heard any of that!

“Aw, come on! Spill it!” Ace pouted as he lay across your bed, throwing one of your pillows in the air to catch.

He must have some freaky thoughts! Tell me, I wanna blackmail him!

“No???” You looked at him in disgust, trying your best to not throw your history book at him. “Especially not for blackmail, what do you think he’s gonna do to you if you try and blackmail him?”

Deuce, tiredly eyes boring into his mathematics homework, replied in agreement, “Yeah, what do you think he’s gonna do? Laugh and say ‘you got me’?”

Uuuuuuuuugh you two are boring!

Ace threw the pillow at Deuce. “I don’t know man, I just want a leg up on him, I’m still not over the anemone thing, you know.”

You sighed, watching Grim through the window as he tried to show his prowess on the broom to one of the Scarabia freshmen in your care. Wincing as the broom zoomed out of his grasp and he splat face down into the ground, you slid down your armchair and crossed your arms over your head.

“I’m tired of this already.” You whined, opting to ignore your homework, rather walking over and flopping ontop of Ace on your bed. The ginger softly shrieked, turning into a starfish underneath you.

Of homework? Cause mood. Deuce nodded sympathetically, daring to look back at the question he’d been stuck on for the last 10 minutes.

“Mmpht! Th’t’s w’at y’ get—mmft git opp!” Ace shove you off him as he continued, “That’s what you get for being nerds, hehe!”

Kicking your friend, you made yourself comfortable as you took a pillow and rested your head, arms crossed underneath it.

“Not about school, dipshit, I mean the telepathy.” You murmured, eyes closed. “I don’t want it anymore. I’m tired of it, it lost its appeal. Can you take it?”

Ace snorted as he rested next to you and started scrolling on his phone. “Nah, I’m good, Deucey?”

Huh? What? Deuce perked up, blinking in confusion. “What? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Take the mind reading! I’m sick of it! Someone else can deal with y’alls thoughts.”

Deuce made a sound of understanding, getting up to stretch his arms and legs before walking over and patting your back.

“Uh, I think I’m good, if Jade is any indicator of the people in this school, I don’t think I could be mentally well hearing all that.”

You opened an eye to glare at Deuce. “… And you think I can?”

Deuce held his arms up in surrender, awkwardly thinning his lips in response.

“I just mean that, it came naturally to you, you know?” Deuce decided to sit on the ground and lean against the bed, tilting his head to look up at you.

“You got magic, then the mind reading? Maybe you’re meant to have it.”

“Oh yes,” you drawled sarcastically, “I’m meant to listen to each whine, complaint, mindless thought that everyone has, oh and don’t forget every horny man’s dirty thoughts! That’s especially important!”

You huffed, turning on your back and crossing your arms.

Aw, Y/N I didn’t mean it like that, don’t be mad. Deuce turned and rested his chin on the edge, giving you a puppy-eyed look.

“I just mean that, there’s probably something great you’re meant to do?” Deuce grunted as you smacked a hand on his head before ruffling his hair. “I don’t know, just looking at the bright side.”

You hummed in response shrugging. “Maybe, who knows, not me, not Crowley. It’s just super fucked man, how ‘m I suppose to react?”

Blackmail, duh?

“Ace! Shut the fuck up about the blackmail, man!”

Ace kicked your leg, to which you responded in kind. The two of you began exchanging kicks until you both of your feet were planted against each other. Pushing against each other’s foots for some weird form of dominance, the three of you started giggling.

What the fuck? Deuce took his phone out to record as he laughed, “You two are so weird.”

The laughter grew as your left foot gave out, allowing Ace’s right leg to kick you off the bed. You gave a short scream as you fell on Deuce, still giggling.

“HA! I win! I claim this bed as my prize!” Ace crawled over to look over you two before letting out a panicked yelp as you and Deuce yanked him down to join the floor.

The three of you calmed down, sprawled out on the floor. Ace asked, “Does he actually say anything to you? Jade, I mean.”

Humming, you looked at Ace and scrunched up your face. “Eeeeeh?”

“‘Eeeeeh? What does that mean?” Deuce asked.

“I mean, he acts and speaks the way he did before…he was gonna try and ask me out, but…”

But? Ace and Deuce’s synchronized thoughts created an echo in your brain, which seemed ironically empty after studying.

“I think he’s…scared? To ask, I mean.” You made a sound of pity, pursing your lips. “It was…kinda sad actually? Now that I think about it.”

“Huh.” Ace hummed while Deuce mimicked your pitying sound. “He is just some guy, I guess. A scary, monster looking guy, but still just a guy.”

That does sound kinda sad, actually. He always seems so self-assured. Deuce clicked his tongue and spoke out loud.

“Maybe he’s scared of rejection? He kinda seems like the type of guy that was never told no, growing up.”

“Ha,” Ace snorted, “probably because everyone was scared he’d eat them if they did.”

“Yeah.” You replied in faux sympathy. “Just like how your girlfriend broke up with you ‘cause she was scared of the kids you’d produce with your ugly ass face.”

You and Deuce started laughing at your offended friend. The laughter grew as he flipped you off.

“You know what, I’ve decided I no longer sympathize, I hope he literally thinks about every single weird kink in existence with you, you fuck face.” Ace pouted as you two continued to laugh.

Your laughter died down as you heard a knock on the door. Clearing your throat you called out, “It’s open, come in!”

The Scarabia student from earlier, poked their head in and smiled nervously.

“Hi, uh, Prefect? Grim got knocked out…he ran into the tree trying to show us a Spelldrive trick.”

The student entered, true to their word, cradling the now limp familiar as they placed him in your outstretched arms.

“Also, one of the other Scarabia students, Yakub, finished making the dinner you suggested! They wanted me to call you down to dinner too.”

You smiled and nodded, grunting as you and the other two got up from the floor.

“Thank you, I’ll be down shortly, you two,” You pursed your lips at Ace and Deuce. “Should he back to Heartslaybul, Riddle will probably be back from his club soon, don’t want to get in trouble so soon.”

Ace snorted as he grabbed his backpack from the nightstand. “Look whose talking! Dear ‘I broke an ancient chandelier on the first day of class’ Prefect.”

“That was also you, though??” Deuce gave Ace an incredulous look as he packed his stuff.

Gods up above, why is he like this?

You chuckled, following the two as they walked out to the front door.

“Ah, what would’ve I done if that never happened? I’m actually pretty grateful that turned out the way it did.” You smiled fondly.

I never would’ve met you two if I didn’t.

The two looked at you, needing no powers to know what you were thinking.

“Aww, is this where you confess your love to me?” Ace grabbed your shoulder and looked at you with a serious face.

“Just so you know, I’m only into hot people.”

“Okay, goodbye!” You shoved Ace out of the door, waving as he and Deuce walked towards the Hall of Mirrors.

You sighed, still cradling Grim in your arms as you cooed down at him, “Let’s get you some food, I’m sure you’ll wake up once you smell some yummy din din!”

Locking the front door, you greeted the 20 freshman in your dorm. Silas, who decided to help with the cooking, noticed you and handed you a glass of what you presumed to be the apple juice Epel left you.

“Here Y/N.” Gentle pushed you to the front of the dining table. “Give a toast!”

You chucked nervously as you obliged. “Alright guys, let’s christen our first evening at Night Raven College with a meal!” You smiled and raised your glass.

“Ramshackle students or not, I am happy to be your housewarden this year. For however long you stay, may this old dorm bring you nothing but luck and cheer in your first year! Let’s dig in!”

The group shouted in merry agreement as you took a slip of your drink, unaware of the glower coming from the coral-haired man in the corner.

Forgoing dinner and leaving the room in a huff, Aspen stomped into the room designated to him and three others. Muttering to himself, Aspen dressed down into his pajamas, before taking out a journal from his nightstand.

“I’m going to prove to everyone what a sham you are,” He snarled, furiously writing something down. “Then, no one will have any reason to admire you, let alone like you!”

#twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #jade leech x reader #twst jade #jade leech x yuu #mochi fic #the private thoughts (not) of a moray #ptm

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