#midnight pals

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Bluebeard

Anna Biller: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of bluebeard's castle Biller: it's about a woman trapped at a secluded castle under the thumb of a mysterious and dangerous nobleman with dark family secerts Biller: but with a feminist twist Biller: the twist is gender essentialism

Angela Carter: that's hardly feminist, anna Carter: now, when i retold bluebeard- Biller: oh you say that now angela Biller: but i got a secret weapon no woman can resist Biller: detailed lists of luxury fashion brands

Biller: did i mention this lady has a prada hat, a valentino dress, and dior boots? Biller: chanel, armani, versace Biller: those names won't mean anything to you men Biller: but to us ladies Biller: oh damn phewww is it hot in here or is it just me?

Biller: in fact, girls, i feel the sudden need... Biller: to go SHOPPING!!! Tabitha King: shopping!!!?! Sonia Greene: eeeee!! shopping!??!! Angela Carter: shopping!?!? Biller: we're all going to the mall!!!!

Patricia Highsmith: ugh pass Biller: what's the matter, patricia? no interest in a girls night out? Biller: i think Biller: someone needs a make-over!!!

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: what's this, you tellin a gothic story? Biller: what? it's not gothic! Biller: it's simply a novel that makes use of class story telling techniques of brooding fear, isolation, and dark secrets Biller: and if you think that makes it gothic Biller: well i just don't know WHAT to tell you

Shelley: so it's not a gothic story? Biller: no it simply makes use of classic techniques Shelley: is this like how the love witch wasn't a pastiche Biller: IT'S NOT A FUCKIN PASTICHE Shelley: it's a pastiche Biller: SHUT UP!! Biller: whatever happened to sister solidarity!?

Biller: now my work asks, why do women stay with abusive men? Angela Carter: interesting Biller: could it be because it's kinda hot? Carter: Carter: uhhh

Angela Carter: but anna! what about feminism?! Biller: don't criticize me! Biller: i did it for YOU, all for you!! Biller: sure, your guilty feminist conscience may force you to dote on sensitive new age guys but you know deep down you secretly long for a hot-tempered he-man to slap you around, pull your hair, and rule you like a king!!!

Edward Lee: bro Lee: bro Lee: i'm gonna tame this filly Barker: yeah good luck with that Lee: naw naw it's cool Lee: i like em spicy

Lee: yeah babe i getcha, i hear the love witch was a pastiche Biller: IT'S NOT A PASTICHE Lee: yeah it's a pastiche Biller: IT'S NOT A FUCKIN PASTICHE!!! Lee: [to Barker] this is called negging, bro, works every time

Biller: UGH YOU MEN Biller: you're all the same!! Biller: arrogant! bull-headed! Biller: god why can't i quit you?!?

[drewcas68]

S'up fuckers?

Oh I'm just sat here in my pinstripe suit in my creepy ass haunted library enjoying Midnight Pals 3 posted through my post hole this morning.

Thanks to @bitterkarella for the eldritch horror on my coffee table.

[clansocreations]

[Disclaimer: this is a bunch of art history facts and tidbits masquerading as Midnight Pals fanfiction. I am so bored. Midnight Pals is by @bitterkarella , it's very good and you should read/listen. hello good day and I am so sorry]

Nièpce: Uhm. Bonjour. I would like to introduce you you all this new thing I made called a heliograph?

Caravaggio: who the fuck invited the chemist.

Hopper (looking at the heliograph): I like it. It reflects the tristesse and pointlessness of the world.

Genteleschi (talking over Hopper,to Caravaggio): who the fuck invited you.

Stieglitz: I like it and I'll argue your case but you must NEVER bring up the word "Kodak"

(A cartoonish brawl breaks out in the background)

Nièpce: What's a Kodak?

(scene)

Turner: I would like to introduce to you my painting Snow Storm – Steam-Boat off a Harbour's Mouth Making Signals in Shallow Water, and going by the Lead. The Author was in this Storm on the Night the "Ariel" left Harwich

(Everybody looks at the painting)

Hopper: but what's the painting called.

Turner (sarcastically): it was called many things by the critics.

Turner:...

Turner: you can call it snowstorm.

(scene)

Duchamp: I would like to introduce you to my painting "Nude descending a staircase"....

Gauguin (startling out of deep sleep): Tits??

Gauguin (squinting at the painting): .....

Gauguin: go fuck yourself Marcel.

Genteleschi (nursing a stab wound from the earlier fight) That's what you should do, then you'd stop making women sick.

(murmurs of agreement)

(scene)

Dramatis personae:

Nicephore Nièpce, an early pioneer of photography (his heliograph is today regarded the first photograph ever)

Alfred Stieglitz: American photographer, part of the pictorialist movement that heavily pushed the "photography is a form of art too damn it" angle after the Eastman Kodak company released the first commercially viable photo camera and photography went from a totally obscure nerd hobby that only a few people could even pull off to something that everyone could easily do.

Caravaggio: Renaissance painter. Most of the information that exists on him are court records of his stab-happy crime spree and that he once sued a guy for painting in his style which is a 21st century dick move. He got thrown out of two different cities for the crime of stabbing a guy fatally in the balls. This is really all you need to know about Caravaggio.

Artemisia Genteleschi, renaissance WOMAN and absolute badass. There were woman artists back then but not many and she could already paint at a professional level at age fifteen or sixteen! She got admitted to the academy of arts!! She sold her paintings internationally! She was really really good.

Edward Hopper, member of the school of so called "American realism" and probably clinically depressed according to my classmate who did the presentation on him. If it looks sorta realistic and exudes a sense of isolation and loneliness even if there is multiple people in the painting, it's probably one of his. (He was part of last year's art history final and I thank whoever looks kindly on highschoolers that I was able to retain some information from that presentation as well as.my classmate for picking him off the list)

William James Mallord Turner

British landscape painter. Regarded as Britain's Favorite painter (these days)

He was supposed to be the subject of my presentation but I begged my teacher to let me do Marcel Duchamp instead. I have since seen the errors of my way.(more on that later) Snowstorm is currently on loan to the Lenbachhaus, an art museum in Munich Germany, and I went to the exhibition and stood right in front of it. It's really something.

The things the critics said about Snowstorm were "soapsuds and whitewash" and "all of the contents of his (Turner's) pantry"

Now Turner had a certain "fuck off" attitude to artistic people pleasing but according to a contemporary source called John Ruskin (I think) he read that scathing review and went "soapsuds and whitewash! Soapsuds and whitewash! I wonder what they think the sea's like!? I wish they'd been in it!" which I think is hilarious.

And finally Marcel Duchamp.

What the fuck do I say about him? I have done the presentation. I got a 2 (that's pretty good!) And I still struggle to understand what the guy was even doing. His most well known contribution to art is an upside down toilet. Or well...a photo of that that was photographed by Stieglitz.

He was french I guess that's what I can say about him. I was like "oh he did Object art. I do object art. I'll like what he made" but it turns out that "object art" is a really vague catch-all term. :) who could've guessed. I like Tom Every more (look up the Evertron. It's the world's largest scrap metal sculpture and it is freaking phenomenal. THAT'S what I wanna do. Not Marcel Duchamp. I wanna make whimsical shit like he did or weird shit like Luise Bourgeois did. They're my art heroes. Not Marcel Duchamp. just wanted to make Gauguin look bad cause he was a thoroughly unpleasant person who I wouldn't touch with a six meter pole )

[rfrancis]

I think the high point of my social media use is when something about Sailor Moon, D4DJ or Komi Can't Communicate comes along.

Fortunately, Tumblr very very very much has my back there.

(Okay, also Midnight Pals, but that didn't fit the theme really.) ETA: and anything Lynda Carter or Neil Gaiman says... okay look it's a rich experience for my fanside

[visually-corrupted]

After Midnight by Donka Nucheva Ellectra

[xsoapy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BELOVED MARIYAM 🫶🏻

[deucecars]

27

YEAAAAH💯💯💯

(vital info: truck radio is playing charley pride)

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Imagination

Neil Gaiman: [inhaling fresh morning air] ahhhh what a great day for a race! Clive Barker: what race? Gaiman: the HUMAN race Gaiman: i was just thinking of the awesome potential of the human mind Gaiman: and the limitless vista of the human imagination

Gaiman: just imagine! with the awesome power of imagination, YOU are in control of your own fantasies Gaiman: all you need is a pinch of curiosity, a dash of wonder Gaiman: and an ounce of whimsy!! Gaiman: butterfly in the skyyyy Gaiman: i can fly twice as hiiiigh

Gaiman: why, you could imagine anything! Gaiman: you could imagine a clockwork alligator as big as the sky! Gaiman: you could imagine a railroad conductor made of lemon drops! Gaiman: you could even imagine Gaiman: a boy who wears glasses and goes to a wizard school

Rowling: hello children Rowling: my lawyersss inform me there'sss some copyright infringement happening here Gaiman: ah but joanne Gaiman: if you check the time stamps, i'm sure you'll find that Tim Hunter actually PREDATES harry potter Rowling: Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: you win thisss round

Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: not even i am rich enough to overcome the limitsss of chronological time! Rowling: not yet Rowling: but sssomeday Rowling: if only i hadn't ssspent sso much on that fence

Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] Behold! The Arch magus! King: the arch magus! Koontz: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus!

Alan Moore: behold! the story of the boy wizard antichrist! Rowling: ALRIGHT i can definitely sssue over this Moore: ah foolish mortal, observe and know... i never specifically SAID harry potter Rowling: Moore: i just said the boy wizard named [mumbles] who goes to school at [mumbles] school of witchcraft and wizardry and fights [mumbles]

Rowling: curse you moore! Rowling: alwayssss one ssstep ahead of the game! Rowling: curssse your plausssible deniability! Rowling: hmmm "plaussible deniability" huh? Rowling: well TWO can play that game...

Rowling: so anyway the nazis didn't actually commit those documented crimes King: gosh joanne that uh kinda sounds- Rowling: oh but you'll notice i never said the word "holocaust" Rowling: haha i'm too sslippery for you! Rowling: johnny law can't keep up! Rowling: they'll never catch JK Rowling with her molted ssskin around her anklesss!

[glimartlyx]

”Don’t you find it odd?”

-Pathological Facade (Ghost and Pals)

Not so proud of it but meh, I’m sleepy

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Currently shouting "ASK ME OUT!! COME ON STOP AVOIDING IT! WERE BOTH INTO EACH OTHER, JUST ASK! ME OUT! I PROMISE ILL SAY YES!!" at my phone while texting my crush. He can't hear me though so we're both just awkwardly dropping hints

[sgterso]

2023 had its ups and downs but this was one of the best rping years for me and i think that has a lot to do with the amazing people i've write with! one of my 2023 resolutions was to make an extra effort to talk to my mutuals and try to befriend people ( i am super shy and very introverted ) and i'm so happy to have pushed myself and properly met you all!!

i hope you all have a wonderful start to your 2024! i'm looking forward to spending it with y'all!

[technicallyaminecraftsimp]

Breaking News: Boy has to write an essay for English class when all he wants to do is play with hot wheels and eat mud

[army-of-bee-assassins]

my food stamps got renewed let's fucking go lads

[kangaracha]

Ahh life’s getting to you right now Roo? I know the feeling, just gotta keep powering through it you know? I hope the stars align for you and everything falls into place. You can do it!🫶🏼

And double update! For lil ol’ me? Awe way to make a girl feel special. Hearing that just started off my day looking great. Hopefully it continues that way! I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold! 😊

Now I gotta finish getting ready for work. I hope you have a lovely day today Roo!

xoxo - Lumi<3

haha, it's been a fun old 2024 so far, but i'm nearly back on my feet. it's just taken me the last two months to escape a abusive and exploitative job with a boss that had complete control over my life, who still to this day can't understand why i left or how difficult he's made my life by not paying my wages lmfao. kpop fans think they're delusional but they have nothing on this dude. he also kicked me out of staff housing knowing i had nowhere to go, but i've been lucky that my new job introduced me to another girl who let me have her spare room. in a way the stars have already aligned and i'm nearly back writing at the same pace i was before the whole thing imploded but like. christ on a candlestick. when i said i need a rich kpop boyfriend to pay my rent i didn't mean because i live on someone's floor.

anyway my career and ability to make money have been on my mind now that i have the ability to budget again, so you really did prove i can make money from writing just at the critical moment. signs from god. i'm telling you.

[mcl38]

normal person discourse: real people can't queerbait, they're not characters in a show

daniel ricciardo, about to make a homophobic will-they-won't-they gay joke abt his teammate that convinces thousands of people they're actually having sex: uhhhh