#might fuck around and make a jane/jonah one too who knows...

[thermodynamic-comedian]

daisy/elias moodboard

[cataclitsmicdisaster]

Spoilers for The Mangus Archives and The Magnus Protocol ahead

Ok, I'm all caught up with tmap now and WTF? I like Celia, I regret shitting on her early on but something is still off. "If I go back I cant take Jack with me" and "Important names... Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood"? Ok, so you're clearly from the same dimension as Jon and Martin, maybe she lost her son in the first one and he's alive in this one? ALSO on the topic of Jon and Martin, it seems after they dragged the fears from their reality, the got dragged with them. I think they've been trapped in technology for as long as it's existed, and even before that. It sounds painful.

On the more domestic disputes of our lovely characters here at the OIAR, Alice seems like she was a bit of a control freak when she and Sam were together. It's thrown me off a bit but I can definitely see that being why they drifted apart. And does Alice know more than she's letting on? Sam made a really good point as to why she was sticking around and I'm not completely sold on the reasoning she gave on why she stays.

Then we have the cloaked figure with the bitey tape recorder, I'm thinking Jonah Magnus. I think that when he got his shit rocked by Jon some semblance of him remained and got dragged across dimensions with everybody else. Also I love the picture of Ink5oul that Alex and Jonny have painted, someone who just wanted to be noticed starts to become a monster, and doesn't actually know what to feel about it. It feels strangely like Jane Prentiss, how she was consumed fully by what loved her (not what she loved). The way Jane was fully embraced by what loved her feels similar to how Ink5oul/Grace has been fully consumed by the feeling of being important, being better, being worthy of all that attention. Though it seems Ink5oul is indiscriminate as to what fear they serve, so long as they all get their fill.

At first I thought they might be a Flesh avatar, what with the focus on altering the body with art and what that tattoo granted the ability of to the person it was bestowed upon. But then we got that guy with the Buried/the Vast (depending on how you want to look at it) on the cliffs of that burial site and the guy with the sun tattoo Ink5oul did that fell to the Desolation. And the way Ink5oul talks about skin feels akin to the Stranger. So that draws me to the conclusions that they serve all the Fears, that's if they even work the same way in this dimension as they did in the Archives dimension.

I don't like Lena at all, but I feel like she's bound by something like everyone else is. I'm thinking the OIAR works in a similar way that the Magnus Institute, London, worked in the Archives dimension. I think she was a good person once, but the time in that basement has turned her person sour. The way I'm thinking you're made to stay at the OIAR is that when you leave, your life becomes increasingly more miserable until you die. That's a theory I've come up with after the encounters we've had with Teddy, since the poor lad can't seem to land a job anywhere.

I'm worried for Colin, too. He seems to carry a Gertrude Robinson agenda, though he's far more manic in his attempts to stop whatever the fuck is going on. I like him a lot, though. He's funny to listen to, angry little Scotsman running IT for the cursed basement department of Government response.

Also on a more light-hearted note, since we've seen that this dimension's Gertrude and Gerry are alive, well, happy and living together as grandma and grandson, it makes me hopeful that other characters are happy and alive in this dimension as well. We've already seen Georgie living happily, even if I fear she may either be killed by the Stranger (see "who keeps taking Georgie's face?!"), I hope that Tim and Sasha are alright too. I'm also really hoping that Gwendolyn Bouchard is the daughter of one Elias Bouchard (the "loser stoner" Elias, not the "possessed by a slimy old git" Elias). I'd hope that his husband is Peter Lukas, though I doubt that would be the case. It's also likely that Gwen is the way she is because she's Elias's only daughter and he spoiled her absolutely rotten.

[ljsstories]

Chapter Twenty Four: Jumping To Conclusions

Since that photo of Chloe kissing Jensen on the cheek had leaked, he was avoiding her like the plague. He would only see her to film scenes and then he was off in the other direction not even making eye contact with her to hide in his trailer. Landon had noticed how on edge he was, he tried to offer him some friendly advice, but Jensen wasn't in the mood to listen. It had come to light that it was the studio who leaked the photo trying to get some publicity for the movie. Jensen almost quit over it and Landon was starting to lose his laid-back disposition. "Does it really matter brother?" He'd asked Jensen one morning in his trailer, "I mean the people closest to you know the truth..." Not all the people closest to him, Jane didn't know that it was all bullshit!

"It matters to me! I don't want to lead that girl on! She's already following me around like a lost little puppy! This is just a step too far!" Landon sighed and ran a hand through his usually perfect long, brown hair which looked rather windswept despite there being no wind at all. He looked stressed, which for Landon Ellis, was not a good look.

"Dude I am trying here, okay? This is the biz! You and I both know all the dirty tricks the studios and the managers and the agents pull to make us relevant! Why is this such a surprise to you now? After all these years?" Jensen could see the dark circles under Landon's eyes, he always looked at least ten years younger than his age, but on this day, it wasn't a stretch to believe that the guy was pushing fifty.

"I don't know! Maybe I'm just tired of it all, you know?" Landon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Brother, we're all tired! Believe me!" Apart from Jensen's little wobble, everything was going great with the movie, so why was Landon so stressed out? Maybe it was because his entire life was going to be laid bare in front of billions of people. Jensen knew that he was overreacting, that there were far more important things to be worrying about, but he couldn't help it. Jonah had taken a strop and refused to pass on any more messages to Jane, he'd told him to do his own dirty work, whatever that meant. He had no way of communicating with her indirectly anymore and it pissed him off, Doctor Jenna had told him not to stalk her, he was trying so hard not to, but sometimes he would lurk around her social media accounts to get the tiniest fix. He'd stopped liking any of her posts, he was a silent supporter now, he was taking what he'd learned in rehab seriously and giving Jane space...and it was killing him! Thank God he had this movie to take his mind off of things a little, but now with the whole Chloe thing, there was nothing he wanted more than to message Jane and tell her not to believe the press, he was still completely and utterly hers! "Jensen please just play the game. I know it's all a fucking joke, I've been there, but will you just suck it up...for me?" Jensen looked Landon in the eyes, his pleading blue eyes, the whites almost pink. He felt bad for being the cause of Landon Ellis' anxiety, but he just couldn't play this game anymore, not after everything he'd been through.

"How can you even ask me that when you've lived my life?" Landon's blue eyes widened in surprise, obviously he wasn't expecting Jensen to resist, "You've said to me many times that you wished that there was someone like you when you were younger to guide you through things, to help you navigate the murky waters of fame!" He could see Landon half nodding, looking confused as to where this conversation was going, but still agreeing with what Jensen had to say, "So why are you asking me to repeat your car crash of a life? You lost your Jane over this kind of shit! Why are you asking me to risk losing mine? I might not find another like you did, you just got lucky!" Landon sat back on the seat and stared straight ahead, as if he was having a good think about what Jensen had just said. He scratched his beard softly, still looking like he was deep in thought, blinked several times then turned to look at Jensen.

"I'm sorry!" He looked sad, Jensen didn't like seeing that emotion on the face of his mentor, "You're right, I..." Landon shrugged and squeezed his eyes shut, with a huge sigh he said, "...you shouldn't have to deal with this, and you won't from now on! I'll fix it, I promise! I've let you down!" Shaking his head and looking down at the ground, this was the first time Jensen had ever seen Landon in doubt, he was always so confident but right now he just looked so damn exhausted.

"You have never let me down Landon! Don't ever think that! I understand how much pressure you're under to get this movie made. I understand the ass kissing that must be done when you want your work to be taken seriously, I get it I do!"

"That's no excuse, I should have stood up for you when they told us about the leak, I should have told them to shoot the whole thing down!" Jensen felt guilty for pushing back, it had really given Landon a moral dilemma, "I will do better for you than I did for myself! I promise you! The number of women I was supposed to have dated and never did is ridiculous! Debunking this rumour about you could be a little fuck you to the sons of bitches that did the same thing to me back in the day!" He patted Jensen's shoulder and smiled sadly, "I will do right by you!" And he did, when asked about the romance rumours about his two leads Landon told everyone that it was completely untrue, and that Jensen and Chloe were just friends. Chloe on the other hand was milking it for everything she could get, giving the media coy smiles and winks while neither confirming nor denying it that she was dating Jensen Reed. All the while Jensen was terrified that Jane would see all of the crap that the tabloids were saying about him and believe it. He decided to sit Chloe down and explain his situation with Jane, how she was the one he was devoted to and that by feeding the press with her cryptic behaviour Chloe was damaging his relationship with her.

"You're talking about that girl who did the food for Dexter Maloney's latest exhibition and does those cute little YouTube videos?"

"Chloe I am pleading with you to just tell anyone who asks that we're just friends! Tell the truth!" Chloe's eyes were wide as she looked at him, he'd gathered the courage to knock on her trailer door and go inside to discuss this whole nightmare, but she still wasn't taking it seriously.

"Okay, well if you wanna talk about the truth to me then let's do that because that girl you're talking about is totally dating Corey Tyler from that Australian soap opera, Love And The Waves or whatever it's called!" Jensen let out an unexpected laugh, "No, seriously! He's landed the part of Jonathan Harker in that new Dracula reboot for HBO! He's big news right now and he's also been romancing your girl so..." Chloe looked to the side and tugged a strand of her blonde hair, "...I know you're full of shit Jensen Reed! You just don't wanna be with me so don't you come in here and talk to me about telling the truth!" She stomped her foot for effect and huffed, still refusing to look in his direction. "So, I will say whatever the fuck I like about us, because that's how it's done in this business! I'm too good for you anyway, you'll never know what you're missing!" Jensen didn't realise that his mouth was gaping wide open until he closed it and his tongue was like sandpaper, leaving Chloe's trailer in disbelief. There was no way that Jane was seeing anyone, not so soon after her mother's passing! Even if she was, it would never be that beach bum Corey Tyler! He was so not her type, no way!

***

It was all over the internet, Jensen Reed and Chloe Cornell were the newest big thing in Hollywood. The photo of the kiss was everywhere, and Jane couldn't escape it, Eliza said it was all a load of lies and tried to get Jonah to confirm it, but he wasn't speaking to Jensen again, so he didn't know if it was or not. He doubted it was true but that was all he could give the girls without actually speaking to Jensen, which he wasn't going to do because he hated him right now. The Reed brothers really were a pair of children sometimes, Jane despaired of their behaviour. She was surprised to feel both hurt and relieved over Jensen's romance rumours, deep down all she wanted was for him to be happy and she hoped that this Chloe Cornell made him feel that way. He deserved it after everything. "I just don't believe it!" Eliza had mumbled, sitting on the couch ramming forkfuls of stir fry into her mouth, "He didn't get over you just like that, I call bullshit to the whole thing!" Eliza talked and chewed at the same time, a right little multi-tasker.

"Well maybe she just...took his breath away or something. I don't know how pretending to be someone's boyfriend on a daily basis affects your real life. He could just have fallen for her!" Jane shrugged, trying to conceal the true hurt she was feeling over Jensen's new love.

"Bollocks!" Eliza declared, gulping down her food and giving her big sister a scowl, "It's all publicity for Landon's big film! You'll see!" And she did, a few days later Landon Ellis himself was quizzed about the blooming relationship between his two lead actors and he laughed and said they were just friends. Landon Ellis had a tell when he was lying, he would blink up to five times before answering with a pearly white grin, during this particular interview he didn't blink once. Maybe it was all just a bunch of crap made up to promote the film, maybe Jensen and Chloe were just friends after all! Whatever the truth was, Jensen certainly wasn't going to tell Jane personally, he'd stopped all contact with her. She never heard from him these days, not even through Juliet or Jonah. Juliet was too busy chewing her ear off about how big her bump was getting and sending her photos to prove she wasn't lying. She was really excited to become a mother but still trying to find a way to tell the father she didn't want to marry him. Jane enjoyed hearing from her, they had a mutual crush on Dexter Maloney and when Jane told her all about the exhibition Juliet told her she was jealous.

"Why did he have it in London though?" She had enquired, now that Jane had the answer, she was happy to share.

"Well, apparently his ex-girlfriend Katie Reese lives in London, she dumped him in high school, and he never got over it so as a bit of a fuck you he held it there. She's still with the former band mate she dumped him for and she's miserable!"

"Oh! Oh! Jeremy Price!" Juliet gasped, "Yes, he left the band when they were basically nobodies and called Deadly Nightshade and he took the name with him! He's such a dick, Jensy got into a full-on fist fight with him one time at Coachella!" Jane tried not to giggle at the thought of skinny Jensen Reed in a punch up, "Yeah! Real asshole! Well good for Dex, he's so dreamy! Every time I see him my ovaries explode!" Jane understood completely, standing face to face with him was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her, and she'd kidnapped an A-lister!

"How is Jensen getting on with his film?" Jane slotted it in there casually, hoping that Juliet wouldn't realise that she was fishing for any kind of details.

"He's pretty busy, we hardly hear from him and he's still living with loopy Landon and his family. He visits mom a couple of times a week but that's about it. Jonah's working on the album by himself, doing Jensen's job bossing the others around but because he's the second youngest in the band, TJ and Kris don't take him seriously and kind of give him a hard time!" She could hear Juliet's sad sigh on the other end, "Jonah had a huge row with Jensen over it and now they're not talking, ugh, boys!" She groaned in exasperation.

"That's all you need; you don't need the stress for your little one!"

"Ain't that the truth! Honestly, it's like my two little brothers never left pre-school the way they behave! They're such children!" Exactly what Jane was thinking, it was so nice to bond with someone who thought the same way she did. "It's all pure fiction you know!" She added quietly, Jane didn't know what she meant, "The rumours about Jensy and that car crash Chloe Cornell? Pure and utter fiction! There's no way he's dating her!" But she didn't know that for sure, she was just speculating, who knew what Jensen was capable of now, he was a changed man after his time in rehab.

"I just want him to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for him!" Jane tried not to show how much it affected her, "He deserves some happiness, you all do!"

"So do you girl, after everything you've been through these past few months? You so deserved meeting Dexter Maloney!" Juliet laughed softly and sighed, "But seriously, I will eat my placenta if my brother is dating that girl! That's how confident I am that he's not!" Jane wished she could believe it, but Chloe Cornell was just too pretty, how could Jensen resist her?

A few days later Eliza received a surprise visitor, Jonah turned up on the doorstep on one knee with his eyes screwed firmly shut and one hand over his heart like he was pledging allegiance to an invisible flag. As Jane opened the door to this sight, he began spouting a whole speech, "Eliza Emily Thomson, I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He gingerly opened one eye when his speech was met with silence, looking up at the sister of his beloved instead of Eliza, his cheeks began to glow a pretty crimson colour and he scrambled to his feet. "Janey! H-hi! Is Eliza home?" Jane tried not to let out the laugh she was barely holding in and nodded as Jonah stood looking down at his shoes and playing with his hands.

"Yes, come in!" Eliza was in the garden with Daisy, lazily lying on a blanket on the grass in a crop top and very short denim cut-offs. "Liza, there's someone here to see you!" Jonah slid past Jane and out into the back garden with his hands in his jeans pockets, just like his brother, his cheeks still a shocking shade of red. Eliza looked up at the towering figure that had blocked her light and an odd noise escaped from her mouth, like someone was strangling her.

"What the fuck?" She whispered while attempting to stand as Jonah took her hands and helped her up like a gentleman.

"Hey baby-I-I mean, hello Eliza!" Eliza continued to stare at him, her feelings over his surprise visit unreadable under her sunglasses.

"Jonah, you're supposed to be working! Why are you here?" She spluttered as Jonah hung his head like a naughty schoolboy and then Eliza's feelings were laid bare as she ripped off her sunglasses, she was in shock...but also rather annoyed.

"I needed to see you, after our last conversation I...couldn't leave it like that! Not without talking to you face to face!" What conversation? What was happening? Why hadn't Eliza told Jane about this conversation? What was said???

"There was no need, I understand how busy you are! You don't need to justify..." And he was down on one knee again, "Whoa, Jonah get up, what the fuck is this about?"

"Eliza Emily Thomson..." He did the whole speech thing again, but this time it was confident and clear, and he did it all with his eyes wide open. Jane was strangely proud of him, "...I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He was met with another silence, looking up at Eliza with such a hopeful expression, he was adorable. He reminded Jane of his brother, how alike they were in that moment, it made her envious of her sister.

"Jonah, it's just not going to happen! I'm sorry!" Jonah looked down at the ground again, one hand across his heart like it was at the front door.

"But...why?" He looked back up at Eliza with such sadness, "Don't you love me? Has our time together meant so little to you?" Poor Jonah, Jane could see that his heart was breaking.

"Of course I love you! That's not the issue!" Eliza looked frustrated and sad, this had just been sprung on her and she didn't know how to let him down without hurting him.

"Then what else matters? We love each other! If it's the distance..."

"No, it's not that!" She waved his words away with her hand.

"Then what?" He was still on one knee, looking up at her, his eyes begging her for a reasonable answer as to why they couldn't be together, because he didn't have one, it was so clear and simple for him...love trumped everything!

"I do love you Jonah, I want to be with you but..." She got down on both of her knees and clasped his hands in her own as he gazed into her eyes with hope and confusion, "...I'm twenty-two years old! I have my whole life ahead of me, after mum..." She trailed off and looked over at Jane, who nodded her approval of whatever she was about to say, "...I now know how precious life is! How every moment is a moment to be grateful for! I have dreams Jonah; I want a career and I want to travel and...I want to spend time with my sister after years of treating her like a complete stranger!"

"Yeah, and I won't get in the way of that, I'll never stop you from living your life baby! Just as long as I'm in it, I wanna marry you! I wanna have kids with you!" Eliza's face was mixed with horror, what twenty-two-year-old girl's face wouldn't be with talk of marriage and babies? "But I will never stop you from shining, I'll never stop you from pursuing your dreams! I'll support you; I'll help you; I-I-I'll do anything!" Eliza shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jonah, please don't do this! Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do! I'm too young for marriage and babies, I don't even know who I am, I need time! I need time to grow and to learn and find out who Eliza Thomson really is! I've got so many plans, but..." Both Jonah and Eliza were sniffing back tears, Jane didn't know what to do so she remained in the doorway looking on helplessly, "...they don't involve you, at least not right now, I just want us to be friends. Please say you understand! Please don't hate me!" Jonah smiled sadly and placed a hand on her face, then he kissed her gently on the lips.

"I understand, I don't like it, but I understand! God, I love you so much!" Jane left them alone then, as they hugged and cried in each other's arms. She was proud of her sister, albeit sad for her and for Jonah, but if they truly were meant to be together, then he would wait for her to find herself. It would all work out in the end. All Jane wanted to do at that moment was to talk to Jensen about all of this, get his take on it, but he wasn't interested in talking to her anymore...he had the beautiful Chloe with her tanned, endless legs. Why would he care if Jonah and Eliza weren't together? His career and his love life were doing great, Jane was now but a distant memory!

***

Jensen had scoured every social media platform Jane was on for evidence that she was dating that annoying Corey Tyler, he found none. Chloe was just trying to piss him off, well it worked, and he'd been giving her the cold shoulder ever since. Landon's stress levels were at a healthy low as he did what he promised, he did right by Jensen and sat Chloe down to have a few words. She'd supposedly burst into tears and declared her love for Jensen, much to Landon's dismay, it had gotten too much for him and he drafted in his wife Sarah to deal with the crying. Landon also insisted that Jensen take Chloe out for dinner and that they have a proper talk about the whole thing, be honest with each other and let their feelings out in the open. He didn't want to do it, but he also didn't want Landon having a breakdown, so he chose the former thing he didn't want and took Chloe to dinner. "Look I know that you have this weird infatuation going on with that Jane girl but..." Chloe sighed, swiping a stray hair from her huge eyelashes with her pinkie, "...Jensen she's with someone! You lied! Landon told me all about your thing with her and quite frankly..." She fiddled with the cutlery in front of her and let out a deep sigh, "...I'm here, right in front of you! You never know, you might like me by the end of this dinner!" He very much doubted it, she was far too grabby for his liking. She was always squeezing parts of him that were not for squeezing or she was rubbing up against him, yes that was still a thing.

"I agreed to this so we could clear the air, this is not a date Chloe!" She pouted at him, his exasperated tone didn't go unnoticed, "I didn't lie about Jane, she is in my heart! As for you inferring that she's involved with that beach dick Corey Tyler, I see no evidence whatsoever that they're a thing, and anyway..." Jensen scoffed, "...where would she even meet him in the first place?" Chloe was scrolling through her phone with a smirk on her face, was she even listening? A waiter whizzed past them as she brushed his arm, not looking up from her scrolling.

"Hey, sweetie will you bring us some champagne please?" Jensen slammed his fist on the table and yelled at her.

"Damn it Chloe, don't you listen? I'm a fucking alcoholic!" A few other diners turned to look in their direction, a couple of producers and actors that Jensen knew from awards shows and after parties. It wasn't a secret, so he didn't care who heard, however this whole dinner thing was not helping his case for denying there was anything going on between them. Chloe was unmoved by his angry outburst as she shoved her phone in his face.

"There! See? You wanted evidence! There it is!" Jensen looked at the photo Chloe was trying to show him, it was of Jane with a male figure. Corey Tyler was towering over her holding her arms and looking down into her eyes. Jane's expression was hard to read, but they were definitely standing together, that asshole was even touching her, touching his Jane!

"Where is this?" Jensen mumbled, "Is it a photoshop?" Chloe let out a sarcastic chuckle and shook her head.

"Oh Jensen, they met at Dexter Maloney's gallery exhibit in London! Look, it's not doctored in any way, if it was, they'd slim her down a bit don't you think?" Chloe's smirk made his blood boil as Jensen scraped back his chair and stood up.

"Okay I've had enough of your shit Chloe!" He bent down and placed his clenched fists on the table, his face level with hers and added, "Don't you EVER talk about her in that way! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???" Chloe recoiled in horror as Jensen screamed in her face. The restaurant fell deathly silent as he straightened up and surveyed the room. "What? What the fuck are you looking at, huh?"

"Jensen you're embarrassing me!" Chloe mumbled, her eyes damp as she blinked several times and scanned the tables full of their peers.

"Like I give a rat's ass! Fuck you Chloe!" He pointed his index finger at her and narrowed his eyes, "You stay away from me, understand?" Standing outside in the fresh air, he looked up at the sky and wanted to hit something. He wasn't sure what he was so angry about, Chloe's comments about Jane or the fact that Jane actually knew Corey Tyler, that Corey Tyler had his hands on her and she was looking up at him. She wasn't dating him, it was impossible, he wasn't her type, and she was so much better than that...so much better than Corey and Jensen combined! She deserved better; she deserved the whole world! There was no way that douche could give her everything, no way in hell! He had his fucking hands on her! Ian drew up next to him in the alley where he was hiding and rolled the passenger window down.

"Ready to go boss?"

"Yeah, more than ready!" He replied quietly and jumped into the car.

The following day, sitting next to Landon and a couple of producers for the movie, Jensen realised that his outburst the night before had made ripples and not good ones. "So, Jensen my friend..." Landon began, unable to look him in the eyes, "...you need to reel it in somewhat..." He looked so uncomfortable as the producers sat at either side of him, watching him and studying his every word, "...you need to apologise to Chloe brother, you really do!" He seemed relieved to get that whole sentence out as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands down his thighs. Jensen hung his head and thought this through.

"Well, the thing is that she owes me an apology too! I feel violated if I'm honest!" The two producers stared at him with wide eyes as a small smile formed on Landon's face, "She's been sexually harassing me since we started and...well what am I to do about that?" A small giggle emitted from Landon as he covered his mouth and looked down at his lap. Producer one then spoke.

"Jensen, this is a serious accusation!"

"I know!" Jensen replied breathily, throwing his hands up in the air for dramatic effect, "But you know, inappropriate touching aside, she tried to get me drunk last night and that's why I lost it! You know how hard I've worked to control my addiction!" Jensen laid it on thick as Landon's giggle erupted into a fully blown raucous laugh as the producers looked to one another with concerned expressions. It was well known that Jensen Reed had alcohol issues, Chloe was well aware of that fact, if this didn't get her to back off...then nothing would.

"Jensen, what can we do to, um, persuade you to overlook this?" Jensen looked at Landon who had completely lost it and smiled.

"I suppose I could forget about it if the studio is prepared to quit pushing the whole co-star romance thing, maybe!" He shrugged as Landon shook his head with a huge grin.

"You sneaky little fucker!" He whispered as the two producers agreed to Jensen's terms. After they'd left, Landon placed a hand on his shoulder, "You know I really had no idea where you were going with the sexual harassment thing at one point, I was fucking shitting my pants! I thought my movie was fucked!"

"I wouldn't do that to you Landon! I like Chloe, I acknowledge that she has issues and she's young...but I can't have people thinking she's my girlfriend! I'm sorry, that's a step too far and you knew that!" Landon nodded in agreement and patted him on the back, "She needs to know that too!" Then Landon's smile faded when Jensen uttered his final words, "Or I'm out!"

The real reason for Jensen's resentment towards Chloe Cornell was not her insistent touching, it wasn't the fact that she threw petrol on the raging fire of their romance rumour, it wasn't because she'd ordered champagne and ignored the fact that he was an alcoholic, it wasn't even that she'd insulted Jane's appearance. It was because she had made the Corey Tyler thing real, she'd shown him tangible evidence that he couldn't ignore, that he couldn't unsee! That was why he hated her, that was why he'd screamed at her, that was why he could no longer allow people to think he was involved with her in any way, shape, or form! That was her crime, she made Jane's involvement with Corey real! From that moment on, Jensen felt pain, he had no idea where the pain was coming from, but he hurt all the time. He could barely concentrate on anything; he flubbed his lines and he found it difficult to be around his co-star. Landon's impressively long hair was falling out over the tension between his two leads and Jensen couldn't do anything about it, he hurt so much! Landon found him in his trailer, staring at an unopened bottle of Jack, and he was understandably angry. "Jensen? What the fuck man?" He grabbed the bottle and threw himself down beside him, "Don't you dare do this!" Jensen had never seen him so emotional, it snapped him back into reality.

"I just like to look at it from time to time!"

"Where did you get this!" Landon demanded, pointing at the heavy bottle in his hand.

"It's amazing what people will do for a rock star!" He chuckled and lay his head in his hands, "I wasn't gonna drink it I swear!"

"Said the alcoholic!" Landon muttered angrily, "You have to get your shit together little brother! Don't make me regret all of this! Don't make me regret putting my faith in you!" Jensen could feel him studying his face, "What's with you? It's not the Chloe thing, I know that much! In fact, you took that whole situation way too seriously kid! I can't help you if you don't tell me!" Jensen spilled everything to Landon, the Corey Tyler rumour that Chloe had made real during their dinner. He listened carefully and he didn't judge, but he was still very angry with him. "You can't turn to the bottle my friend! You just can't!"

"I know, I fucking know!" Jensen cried; he was just so tired of it all.

"I think you should call Doctor Jenna! Before there's no going back!" He was right, it was time for some intervention!

Doctor Jenna Riley arrived on the movie set the following day, accompanied to Jensen's trailer by Landon himself, opening the door to her smiling face gave him a sense of hope as she cocked her head to the side and greeted him, "Hello Jensen, long time no see!"

***

Jane had saved some money from the gallery gig, and she was going to buy some craft supplies with it. That was until she saw her sister glued to her laptop watching YouTube videos of special effects make-up tutorials. Eliza had expressed her interest in working in the film industry as a make-up artist, there was an intensive course down in London that lasted two weeks and it was pricey. Eliza was so passionate about it that Jane secretly enrolled her and paid for it with her own money. It was her twenty third birthday in a week and this would make the ideal present, since their dad was at a loss as to what to buy his youngest daughter, Jane was going to give this to Eliza from both of them. She was so excited to see her face when she found out she was going, Jane was bad with surprises and she wanted to tell her straight away, it was a struggle, but she was going to wait. Eliza and Jonah had agreed to remain friends and keep the option of them rekindling their romance open. She wasn't saying no to him forever, she was just putting their love on hold, which Jane could understand, as Eliza had said, she was still very young. Jane was having her own man troubles in the shape of irritating tanned beanpole Corey Tyler who had started following every social media account she had, and he bombarded her with messages constantly, then there were the messages from a handful of newspapers asking her about her relationship with Corey. She ignored and blocked them all, there was no relationship, how did they even find out that he was bugging her? At least they didn't know where she lived, neither did Corey Tyler, which was a relief. No turning up on her doorstep like the Reed brothers, just the odd parcel or flower arrangement now and again. She could handle that; besides he'd soon get bored and move onto the next poor girl he took a shine to.

It was Eliza who pointed out the offending photograph that had sparked the media's curiosity. It was a photo of her and Corey at Dexter Maloney's exhibition, she had to admit it did look questionable, with his hands on her arms looking down at her with his Labrador puppy eyes. Well as long as they were never seen together again, this would all fizzle out soon enough. There hadn't been much in the media about Jensen and his girlfriend, they seemed to be very private about their relationship during the final months of filming the story of Landon Ellis' life. They had been filming together for six months and the project was finally complete, Jonah had started talking to Jensen again and Juliet had given birth to a baby girl named Madelaine Stephanie Reed-Dean. Jane and Eliza had sent a gift that was shaped like a bouquet of pink and white flowers but was actually rolled up baby grows and socks. Still Jensen kept his distance, Jane heard nothing from him, and it stung, even though she knew he had someone else in his life, it hurt to think that their ten days together now meant nothing to him.

***

In actual fact, Jensen was dying to contact Jane, especially now since he was seeing Doctor Jenna Riley on a weekly basis. After his argument with Chloe and his almost fall from grace four months before, Jensen felt the need to keep his appointments with the good Doctor for purely preventative reasons. She was helping a great deal, but his biggest addiction was always going to be Jane, the pull to message her was so strong that it took everything he had not to. His baby niece was a nice distraction though, little Maddie, he was so in love! She was blonde like her daddy, but she had her momma's eyes. Jensen couldn't stay away from her, he wanted to cuddle her all the time. Jonah wasn't as enthusiastic as Jensen, but he loved his niece just as much. Juliet had babysitters coming out of her ears with her mother and brothers, but when it came to Charlie, things weren't great. She called off the engagement a few days after Maddie's birth and asked him if they could just be friends and co-parent. Jensen was relieved but also sorry that his sister would be a single mother. At least she had all of them to help her out, something that Jensen was doing when he wasn't in the studio with Jonah working on their latest album. Jensen changed diapers, he bathed Maddie and gave her bottles, he was loving the whole experience. Sweater Boy visited on a daily basis; he was still a hands-on dad even though the mother of his child didn't want to be with him. All in all, things were going great, Jensen would see Landon a few times a week too and have dinner with the Ellis family, another baby for him to play with in little Amelia. Landon's movie was in post-production, and he was getting stressed again, but Sarah knew how to keep him grounded, Jensen wished that he had a Sarah. He'd managed to stave off Chloe Cornell after a very rocky couple of months where neither of them spoke off set. They buried the hatchet though and were now good friends, even meeting up for the odd coffee or brunch which had the tabloids wetting themselves over the are they or aren't they question. Jensen didn't care, not even if Jane saw, she had Corey Tyler anyway, didn't she? That was another reason why he wasn't going to get in touch, he didn't want that whole shit show rammed down his throat! He didn't want to see her with someone else, it was too much for him, so he kept away. Life was pretty relaxed, making music and just chilling out, until one day Jensen received an unexpected phone call, "Hey Jensen!" His father Martin, "Please don't hang up, I-I need to talk to you! This is important!"

"What do you want?" He was going to hear him out, after his mother's revelations a while back, he owed him that much.

"I don't want to do this over the phone, I need to see you and your sister and brother. Will-will you meet with me? Son?" Son, yeah just drop that in there!

"When and where do you wanna meet?" They arranged a time and a place, but Jensen couldn't guarantee that Juliet and Jonah would agree to come, "Look I can't promise you that they'll be there, you understand that, right?"

"I do, but I'd really appreciate it if they could. Will you come, Jensen? Son?"

"I'll come, but it doesn't change anything between us, I'm just doing what's right, understand?"

"I do, I do! You're a good man Jensen, I'm so proud of you!" Proud of an addict who almost killed himself twice? Really?

Jensen didn't tell his siblings or his mother about the phone call from his dad. He went to meet him, at a park in downtown Los Angeles, by himself to get the lay of the land before involving anyone else. He didn't want Juliet or Jonah to be hurt again by their father. "Thanks for coming!" Martin nodded, sitting on a bench, he didn't get up. He looked frail, his hair was greyer than Jensen remembered, and he had a walking stick beside him.

"So, what is so important?"

"Did your brother and sister not want to see me?"

"I haven't told them you've been in touch; I didn't want them to get hurt again!" Martin nodded with a sad smile.

"Always the protector, aren't you son?" He looked up at him, he looked so tired and thin, "Will you sit down?" Jensen hadn't noticed that he was still standing, so he took a seat next to him, "That's better, you're so like your mother!"

"Yeah well, we all are, maybe that's the price you pay for abandoning us as children, your genes didn't get passed down to any of us!" Jensen looked straight ahead; he didn't want to look at his father.

"I left, that was my only crime! I tried to be in your life, but your mother told me that my children hated me and wanted nothing to do with me..."

"I know, mom told me everything, right before I ended up in rehab after almost dying!" Martin sighed loudly and put a hand on Jensen's shoulder.

"I wanted to visit you then too, but I was told you weren't allowed visitors! Well, non-family members they said, but I'm sure Steph had warned them not to let me in, as usual! She was bitter for a long time, she still is!" Martin shook his head, his breathing was laboured, Jensen was beginning to realise what he wanted to tell his children. "The reason I wanted to meet with you is because, well there's no easy way to say this but..."

"You're sick!" Jensen finished the sentence for him.

"I am, yes. A while back I was getting headaches and I was losing my balance, hence this infernal contraption." He pointed down at the walking stick Jensen had spotted when he arrived, "Turns out I have a brain tumour, stage four Glioblastoma. I'm dying son!" Jensen's legs felt weak as his breath caught in his throat.

"Is there nothing they can do?" He could barely form words, what was coming out was basic at best, he couldn't cope with larger sentences.

"It's too late, I've got months!" Jensen was feeling an overwhelming sense of deja-vu, this was what Mr Thomson had told his daughters when their mother was sick, this must have been how Jane felt! There was a long silence, then Martin broke it, "I saw that movie you did; you deserved that Oscar son, you were amazing!"

"I've won two!" Jensen mumbled.

"I know, I saw both those movies and I watched you collect both of those awards! I might not be around, but I'm always watching!"

"I'm sorry dad!" Hot tears stained Jensen's cold cheeks, still he could hardly say anything, this had come as more of a shock than he ever imagined. Why though? He hardly knew his father; he was practically a stranger!

"No need son, death is a part of life. I've made my peace with it, but I have so many unresolved feelings when it comes to my older children. Lucy and Ava know their father, you and Juliet and Jonah...well...I've got so many things to say and so little time!" That sad smile on his face, it was heart breaking, "I love all my children, always have and always will! I tried to fight to be in your lives, but I just grew tired of fighting, and I let you go, it's a mistake that will go with me to my grave which won't be long now!"

"I'll help you and Arlene and the girls, I have money, maybe there's some new treatment we can try?"

"You haven't changed a bit; you were always such a kind and caring little boy! You're just the same, only now you're a man!" Martin wiped his eye, was that a tear? "Is there a lucky lady in your life?" Now that was a question, one that would take too long to answer in this cold park.

"Oh, you know, eternal bachelor, that's me!" They both chuckled and continued to chat for a couple more minutes until Jensen insisted that his dad get home into the warm. They arranged to meet again, and Jensen promised to talk to Juliet and Jonah. As they said their goodbyes, Martin repeated what he'd said on the phone.

"I'm so proud of you, please always remember that!" Jensen headed back to the car, where Ian waited for him, his heart was heavy, and his mind was in overdrive. It was his responsibility to break this news to his siblings, and he was not looking forward to it!

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

[equalseleventhirds]

ok i was gonna make a shitpost about the beholding possibly being the second-youngest fear (after the flesh) and that’s why it’s such an asshole and gets bullied all the time (and i may yet make that shitpost i just got distracted)

BUT while thinking about that i started considering the web, bcos it always struck me as sort of an anomaly among the fears? not bcos manipulation isn’t a major fear a lot of people have, but because spiders in particular are not generally feared for their manipulation (in my experience, which i know may not be everyone’s, but listen...)

most of the ppl i have met who say they’re scared of spiders are more afraid of them the way the guy in arachnophobia was, with the horrifying idea that they’re going to crawl on you, or that they’re all around infesting your surroundings, or that they’re gross (sounds like corruption). sometimes (mostly from horror movie type arachnophobes) in a more hunt-ish sense, that if they become giant they are predators and will eat you.

this brings me to another point: we’re actually told that most of the fears don’t latch onto specific symbolism. leitner (motherfucker that he is) tells jon when he asks about bones: ‘you’re thinking too literally. examining the physical categorisation, but ignoring the meaning of the thing.’ he explains that bones as a symbol can be multiple fears, that they’re not limited by the physicality.

but the mother of puppets, apparently, uses spiders always. even in statements that could be plain manipulation (web development) we get spiders spiders spiders.

and no one else uses the spiders. the corruption flat-out avoids them in spite of being the domain of all creepy crawlies. the hunt doesn’t use them at all, even tho they’re really very good at hunting (some spiders trap, some actually do flat-out run out and catch food, and both of those are v good hunting techniques). they have eight eyes, and the eye won’t touch them. being wrapped up in web could be buried... you see all the things u could do.

in fact, not only do the other fears avoid using any of their symbolism, but the other fears are afraid of the web, more than any of their ‘enemies’ among the others. jonah says you can only hope the web doesn’t get in the way of your plans, because it plays its own game. peter seems convinced it likes the world as it is (and, reading into that, that it’s way more powerful than he is lol). it eats jane’s worms. and the one time we see someone try to go up against it... look what happened to agnes (even before she was bound to gertrude, she was tied too deeply to the house).

jumping topics for a second: real life spiders aren’t that manipulative. yeah they use webs, but only as much as other animals trick and trap prey (and they do, spiders aren’t unique in this). some of them use camouflage to either hunt or hide (did u kno some spiders look like ants just so they can live with ants and avoid predators isn’t that NEAT sorry i got sidetracked), but so do plenty of other animals. they don’t puppet their prey around when it’s trapped in the web, either--they just wrap it up to eat later. yeah there is one spider that plays on other spider’s webs to make them come down and then eats them, but that is a very UNUSUAL spider that most ppl don’t know about, and also it just eats other spiders? come on.

BUT do you know where we get a lot of ‘spiders & webs as manipulation’? stories. it’s present in literature (mostly as metaphors for humans, but still), poetry, folktales... some mythologies. not all mythologies, of course, but there are some that show spiders specifically as tricksters and manipulators (vs some that show them just as weavers, or just as big gross monsters, or not at all).

it’s important to note, though, that as tricksters specifically, a lot of spider mythology does not make them evil. the trickster archetype in mythology is usually canny and clever and mischievous, but rarely fully evil--and often helping the people who tell those stories.

why do i bring this up? WELL. in the architecture of fear, smirke says he thinks the fears were brought about by some ancient civilization, for an unknown reason--but perhaps to harness their fear for their own use.

(and far be it from ME to say that robert smirke was right about something, i talk so much shit about him being wrong all the time, but... well, this was far later in his life. when he’d realized some of his mistakes. when he was no longer sure that he was correct about the fears, about the rituals. when he’d finally started re-examining his original excited, informed-by-fucking-rayner theories, and accepting that he might have been wrong. so we’ll let this one ride.)

now, if i was someone in an ancient civilization looking to harness and use powerful fear monsters, i might want some insurance. i might take a look at my gods and spirits, for one that could help. for one that was not clearly all lawful good and would have stood out. for one that could, maybe, work from the inside to keep the fear monsters in check, could intimidate and manipulate them for MY benefit, and was known to be canny and clever enough to do it. and i might tie the related symbolism in very deeply with that one power (especially if i knew the powers tended to change symbolism) so that no one else could use it, and so that it would always use that symbol and remember what it was supposed to be.

i’m saying the mother of puppets, although certainly not GOOD or NICE and definitely still a fear, might have originated in an attempt to control and balance the other fears, a very long time ago.

[mojoflower]

Teen Wolf mpreg fic recs (99% Sterek, 1% Steter)

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus 22 E, 136k, Complete.  “We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“  //  “Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.  //  “He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.  //  Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate.

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, but Stiles is a BAMF, BAMF Stiles, presumably Actual Derek is also a bamf, but College Derek is pretty useless, Heh heh

Wow, this story just grabbed me and didn't let me go and now it's the end of a full day and I have no excuse for abandoning everything except that I was really involved and enjoying the plot.  //  Stiles is such a fucking badass, I love this, he's super-smart and strategizes and handles everything that comes up like a pro and it's totally easy to see why they have such a large and powerful pack. 'College Derek', meanwhile, is a complete sexist asshole (with the whole Alpha/omega thing) who says some super hurtful things in the first half out of sheer ignorance mostly -- although occasionally it's spite. Stiles handles it as well as he can, trying to hide that it hurts and striking back because he has backbone for god's sake... but his bondmark is slowly fading and that's terrifying and tragic.  //  Meanwhile, the Silva pack is due to arrive with some manifest bad intentions, and Peter is lurking around stirring up trouble, and it's a really fucking bad time for Derek to not remember who he is, because it makes their pack vulnerable.  //  Great story.

The Lighthouse Keeper by tugela54 E, 75k, Complete.  On a rural island just off Alaska’s northern Inside Passage, stands a centuries old lighthouse - the perfect sanctuary for its keeper to hide when the moon is full, to burn and rage through its cycle with the townsfolk being none the wiser.  //  But then a new resident comes to Beacon Harbour – a bright-eyed young student chasing an elusive whale species – and all of a sudden those thick stone walls seem paper thin…

Bottom Stiles, Like Whoa,  

 Whoa, that was an intense climax, I'm kinda breathless. Great story. Stiles is earnest and funny (and sooo hot for the giant, hairy, handsome man -- when author says size difference they are not messing around and it's mentioned frequently) and Derek is monosyllabic and awkward. They figure it out eventually, and there is hot sex (did I say size difference and hirsuteness?). Laura's a great werewolf-sister (Derek is the only werewolf) and her son Seth is a cutie. The cast of characters (Chris, Jordon, Finstock, Angus, Gladys and the two First People Miriam and Jonah) are interesting and fleshed-out. Love the plot, and the take on Derek's werewolf (not Teen Wolf style), love the First People lore and rituals, love the setting waaay up in Alaska on this tiny island.  //  (Don't let Major Character Death tag scare you, you're gonna be just fine.)

Hey Lover, I Got a Sugarcane by pibroch (littleblackdog) Steter, E, 17k, Complete.  [References to Mpreg rather than straight-up #mpreg]  “Put Peter on the phone,” Stiles says, too sharp to be polite.  //  “What?” Derek sounds completely thrown. “Stiles, I don’t think— Okay, you’re obviously not understanding what’s happening here. Peter isn’t talking. He’s basically just growling at this point, and he’s rounding on anyone that gets too close. He actually bit me when I tried to take back my pillow. I nearly lost a thumb.”  //  “Derek.” The reality of this shitshow of a situation is finally kicking in, undeniably, and Stiles needs to hear Peter’s voice. “Just trust the omega, okay? Tell him it’s me, and give him the damn phone.”  //  ---"Wrangling Rut-Drunk Alpha Boyfriends 101" by Stiles Stilinski, omega and responsible adult person.

I've loved other things I've read by this author

Delicious. And also funny.

I've Got A Sure Thing by skoosiepants  T, 11k, Complete.  Stiles's water breaks ten miles outside of Beacon Hills.

Fox Stiles, Werefox Stiles, Daddy Stiles

Precious: I love the style, it tumbles and tumbles over itself. Stiles is himself. Derek keeps hanging around, and he loves little Princess Leia. Cora keeps laughing at them. Stiles might be a little confused.

******

He calls Derek and says, “I think your entire family is here, dude,” and Derek roars, “What?” and, “Don't call me dude, “ and, “Fuck, I'll be right over.”

Derek shows up in his EMT uniform and with his partner Boyd, stoic and amused, and the wild look in Derek's eyes is probably as close to a panic as Stiles will ever see him in.

Derek says, “Oh my god, Laura,” and grabs for Prin just as Prin launches herself out of Laura's arms toward him. He swings her up in a practiced movement and settles her on his hip and Laura grins so wide her fangs are showing.

“The pack wanted to meet her, even Mom's here,” she says, gesturing toward a big black wolf that looks almost exactly like Derek in wolf form – the wolf lifts her head and sneezes at them, then goes back to nosing through Stiles's DVD collection.

“Mom,” Derek says, and holds Prin up so she hides his face. Prin tugs at his hair and knees him in the eye and giggles when he shoves her up so her tummy is balanced on the top of his head, it's so cute Stiles can hardly stand it, his life is insane.

“Okay,” Stiles says, clapping his hands together, “I'll make tea.”

I don't think that means what you think it means by ThroughTheTulips  M, 21k, 7 works, Complete.  Ever notice how aliens have mostly similar customs to humans in Stargate? There never seem to be words or concepts that just don't translate. For the most part that makes sense given how they were spread deliberately across the universe, but there should be more weird stuff.  //  So I made some. This is very fluffy and ridiculous. Enjoy.

I simply can't with this. What an unanticipated, hysterical delight.

 I Know Where Babies Come From, Derek by DiscontentedWinter  E, 52k, Complete (series is 132k of deliciousness)  [Implied Mpreg, rather than actual #mpreg].  Stiles finds a baby on the porch.  //  It looks exactly like him.  //  Well, this is awkward.

Favorite, read again, still a favorite

Funny and unique and gripping (and there's one part that's simply fucking heartbreaking, god every.time. I bawl like a baby). I love this so much. It's totally one of my return-again-and-again-comfort-fics (even though there's very little that's slow-paced and domestic about it).

 monday i can fall apart but by friday i'm in love by tryslora  M, 6k, Complete.  It's just past five in the morning and Stiles is barely awake, wearing only sleep pants that hang low below his pregnant belly, and he can't get the damned brand new jar of decaf coffee open. But he has a neighbor, and he's too tired to think that waking someone else up at this hour might not be the best (or politest) of ideas.

Alpha Derek, Omega Stiles, Caretaking,  

lol.  short and funny and sweet and Alpha!Derek is a caretaker (and pregnant omega!Stiles is a sass-spewing dork)

 finger on the trigger and all fired up by tryslora  E, 6k, Complete  [Implied Potential Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Derek goes undercover to expose a drug trafficking ring running inside of a porn studio. What he finds is Stiles.

Hot and funny.

 I'm Not Immune by moodwriter  E, 24k, Complete.  “Did they inject anything into you? You can hold me back. You can stop me. I can’t stop you.” Stiles is in full blown panic mode now.  //  The one where Stiles and Derek get kidnapped, and sex needs to happen for reasons.

Great story, grows as it's written. Follows a lot of emotional development, tangled in the godawfulfucking situation they're trapped in.

Fire, Fury, and Flame by IAmAVeronica  E, 125k, Complete.  Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he's accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger's sperm.  //  Awesome.  //  And the father of Stiles's baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts.  //  Joy.

Omega Stiles, Alpha Derek, Mpreg, Kidnapping, Stalking, cultural ramifications of a/b/o

So, Stiles, the omega-rights activist who never wants anything to do with an Alpha and wants to avoid any of that biological imperative bullshit, winds up pregnant a la Jane the Virgin. BUT. Derek is unwilling to commit, or even to have Stiles tell anyone who the baby-Daddy is. This could be because a complete psychopath has him in her targets.

Kate is one fuck-scary villain, just, crazy as a bag of cats and vicious with it, and the filth that comes out of her mouth is truly chilling.

Stiles gets kidnapped pretty early on, which is frightening enough, and then she's back for another try. At that point, he's kidnapped again, this time by Derek, who whisks him across the country to the Preserve, a werewolf compound in Maine. Here, Stiles is the only human, pregnant and vulnerable and trying to make a temporary life until the baby is born. But will it only be temporary?

There's love, sociopolitical musings, lots of angst, lots of danger. The baby is born about 3/4 of the way through the story, and then Kate comes around to terrorize everyone again. Even though Derek and Stiles are living in a house that's reinforced with bars and a panic room, she still manages to nearly burn Stiles and the baby…

 Rescue Me (& Take Me In Your Arms) by tumtatumtum  E, 34k, Complete (series is 37k so far).  Just when Stiles is starting to reach panic-attack levels of stress, a leather jacket and firm thigh are pressed right up next to him, and an arm is casually thrown over his shoulder. Stiles looks up to thank this kind person who is saving his life, and suddenly forgets what air is.  //  Because HOT. DAMN. Call the police and the fire-man, this guy is smoking.  //  Or the AU where Derek helps save Stiles from an ex, and a steamy BDSM relationship ensues- with feelings all over the place.

Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sub Stiles, Dom Derek

Whoooaa, Nellie. Strap in for a ride, folks. Hot and also hilarious, which is a difficult combo to achieve. Loads of D/s sexy times. Stiles is precious. Derek is possessive and a wee bit insecure. They're awful fun to watch together.  ***The one where Stiles is Alpha Mate which magically means he starts leaking slick outta his ass, even tho he's human.

*******

[Kept trying to find this fic using key words bar and boyfriend and ex-boyfriend... which finally got me there. It's SO worth a re-read or ten.] I also tagged it with fake/pretend relationships, since it's fake for about the first 5 minutes, until Derek puts his hand on the back of Stiles' neck and Stiles moans and MELTS and lo, romantic and sexual interest is born.)

 It's a mad, mad world by ElisAttack  E, 74k, Complete [No #mpreg]  "They call him the Feral Wolf." The man laughs hysterically as Stiles backs away from him, fear coursing through his veins. "Feral Hale. Do you know why? Huh?" The man creeps closer, testing the restraint of his chains, white talcum falling from his skin, swirling in the air like the dust devils plaguing the wasteland. "Because he's fucking mad."  //  Or the one where Stiles is a prisoner looking to return home, but to do so, he may have to rely on a questionable drifter.

Really enjoyed this. Very interesting take on alpha/omega, haven't seen it before. And yay for apocalyptic mad max-type world. Scary as fuck.

a little advice for aspiring fires by The Byger (Byacolate)  E, 42k, Complete.  Regardless of his sadly lacking social circle, Stiles was going to have to get some physical contact or he was going to explode. Seriously. It’d be messy and Derek would probably become even more emotionally constipated having to clean up little bits of Stiles from his pristine walls and furniture.

Touch-Starved, Skin Hunger, Omega Stiles, Sassy Stiles, stiles talks CONSTANTLY, Mpreg, Kidfic

But We're Still Sleeping Like We're Lovers by CharWright5  E, 110k, Complete  [No #mpreg].  There are several things Stiles Stilinski knows to be facts: he's a werecoyote like his parents; his twin sister Malia could use a filter more than him; he's an Omega and terrified of his upcoming heat; and Derek Hale-McCall will never see him as anything more than his kid brother's best friend. Doesn't stop Stiles from asking the Alpha to help him during his heat. Or from developing some serious feelings that go beyond the bedroom. Basically, he's totally screwed, in more ways than one.

Fox Stiles, Creature Stiles, he's not a fox, but when I'm cruising that tag, I'll like to read this story

Idiot boys. Hot sex. More idiot boys. Angst. Fluff.

Jurisdiction by elisera  M, 7k, Complete (series complete at 20k).  John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before.  //  But the temper is still there.  //  He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders.

Papa Stilinski is a total badass and mmm mmmm mmmm, so is Derek. Stiles has got some awesome muscle looking out for his best interests.

Into Something New by marguerite_26  E, 9k, Complete.  [Implied Mpreg rather than #mpreg].  Something is happening to Stiles. He’s losing time. Something is messing with his head, with his body. Maybe if he felt better he’d think to be worried.

 Nowhere Man by 1lostone  E, 76k, Complete.  [Mpreg (off screen)]  When Stiles leaves Beacon Hills, he does it without a backwards glance. For two years he is happy on the other side of the country- until someone targets not only him, but his daughter.  //  Unfortunately, the asshole bodyguard his dad hired to make sure he gets back home is none other than Derek Hale. And that's really not very good for either of them.

1lostone is, as always, the goddess of the lengthy, painful, disturbing, angsty, violent, sexy story. God, I love it.

The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia  E, 40k, Complete.  Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

Sweet: very fluffy and domestic.

Pride and Place by DarkAthena (seraphim_grace)  E, 63k, Complete.  (Part of series A/B/O bodice rippers) [Mpreg, Discussion of mpreg, no men were pregnant in the making of this fic].  Derek Hale, Earl of Osterbrook, has inherited, following the death of Lord Montfort, a run down house in Yorkshire he neither needs nor wants, convinced his staff are robbing him, and with the mystery of a missing ward, he manages to get himself talked into a ridiculous bet, that he cannot pass as a steward until Midwinter, nearly two months away. So can he maintain the charade? Find the missing child? and manage to turn the shambles of a house around, or will he give up and let Peter take the thousand pounds he bet.  //  now with explicit epilogue - the rest of the story is teen rated though, so if you don't like the idea of explicit sex in your bodice rippers - just don't read that bit.

Great story.

The Well of Living Waters by kalpurna  E, 30k, Complete.  King Derek takes a consort.

 Within His Power by NoBezel  E, 69k, Complete.  [Discussion of mpreg]  Derek is a wolfish cyborg, brother of the Governor of California, heir to the Hale fortune. Stiles is a un-sequenced human in a world of designer DNA. When Derek is forced to choose a mate, no one expects him to choose Stiles. To be fair, Derek doesn't expect him to say no.

Pretty fucking phenomenal. Lots of world-building and political intrigue. If you're in it for the tropes, you'll be disappointed, but otherwise it's intense and dense and lovely.

The Threat of Human Sacrifice by vampireisthenewblack  E, 45k, Complete.  The sheriff bought a crib and made Derek help him put it together. Stiles thought of Hemingway and the shortest, most heartbreaking story ever told, and dismantled it on his own while Derek was out.  //  [The one where Stiles getting knocked up is the least of his worries.]

So excellent and intense.

The Honey and the Sting by the_ragnarok  M, 19k, Complete (series still wip)  Derek didn't remember what happened when he went into heat. He could only assume the worst. The truth may be stranger than that.

Beautiful.

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel  E, 77k, Complete.  "So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.  //  God, he dreams.  //  He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Fuck.

 Shifts by gryvon  E, 15k, Complete.  Stiles has what he's always secretly wanted - he's in a relationship with Derek and he's one of Derek's betas - but all that gets turned upside down when Gerard kidnaps him and his unexpected baby.

Who doesn't want Stiles having emotionally confusing sex with Derek, getting knocked up unbeknownst to either of them, and then kidnapped for the future baby? I mean, really. It's classic.

A Mating Moon by unpossible  E, 37k, Complete.  (Series 55k so far.) [this is not mpreg, just to be clear]  “Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air.  //  “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

fucking fantastic

 (Once in a) Blue Moon by clarkoholic, skywardsmiles  E, 60k, Complete.  (Series 63k so far.)  Stiles and Derek are getting along, but they’re not a family, and they’re sure as hell not mates. Christ, they’re basically just two stupid guys who happened to get pregnant because of a full moon and sheer dumb luck.

Oh, the angst, the pining, the guilt, the blame, the anger. Total pain-fest while we watch Stiles nearly die from the burden of the pregnancy. Lovely sweet ending, of course.

Tried and Tested Series by dancinbutterfly  E, 53k, 12 works, Complete.  In which Derek has a sex emergency with unplanned results, Stiles could be the baby daddy on one of those horrible MTV pregnancy shows, Sheriff Stilinski takes in strays and life in Beacon Hills never has a dull moment, not even when things are calm.

Really wonderful series. Stopped at Part 11, so am waiting for updates. A good investment of time, even incomplete. ;D  //  [Huh, evidently I missed an update somewhere along the line!]

In the Solstice of our Hearts by ravingrevolution  E, 73k, Complete.  "You're not putting that up your butt," Scott told him flatly and Stiles couldn't stop the pissed off whine he made, but his friend continued. "Stiles, you can't put that up your butt, you know that. Your butt won't be ready for anything to go in it until-"  //  "Okay, okay!" he said, flailing his hands to stop his friend's lecture. "Message received, no butt stuff until I'm pounced on by some freaking animal in the forest and ravished to within an inch of my life. Got it. Thanks, Scotty, I mean heaven forbid I actually try to take control of my life and give myself a fighting chance or anything."  //  "Not all alphas are animals," Scott said quietly.  //  Maybe he was right, but Stiles wasn't holding his breath.

Omega Stiles, Berserk Stiles, omega beast, everyone's a virgin, Hurt/Comfort, care taking

The one where there's a Mate Run in the woods, and Derek with his pack manage to frighten Stiles up a tree from whence he falls and is impaled on a branch (ouch!) and then they spend a week in a cave while Stiles heals. Meanwhile, Kate and her cronies are sneaking into the month-long Mate Run with the intent to a)finally kill Derek and b) sneakily bond with some omegas. So Stiles goes berserk, which is the omega form of a hulking violence monster, to protect Derek. (Story could have stopped there, but carries on for another 1/3.)

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Let’s debunk this hot trash

“Part of the problem in front of Marvel Comics is the Marvel Universe is one long, mostly-unbroken line since its inception in 1961's Fantastic Four #1. There have been retcons, changes, tweaks, and cuts, but by and large it's a straight run. The universe has seen a number of resets, but it's mostly been returned to the state that long-time fans are comfortable with.”

Why is this a problem? Marvel is the highest selling comic book company in America and the long continuity is objectively not a problem.

It’s just something people incorrectly claim is a problem.

By the 1990s Marvel already had shittons of complicated continuity that had been going longer than most other long running franchise stories.

The readers back then jumped on ship just fine.

The AMOUNT of continuity you have is never the problem it’s how you manage it. In the days where every issue was treated as someone’s first and made accessible the amount of continuity was never a problem.

“Marvel Comics as a whole and the current creative stewards of its characters have to roll with 57 years of punches. They have to take the good and the bad. In the case of Spider-Man, the current writers, artists, and editors have to occasionally tackle the fact that Peter Parker hit his wife, made a deal with Mephisto to wipe out his marriage, or that Gwen Stacy had sex with Norman Osborn. ”

They don’t HAVE to deal with any of that.

They already dealt with the first of those things and simply SHOULD deal with the other two by erasing them.

But it’s also not like the presence of those things (sans OMD) is a huge hamper on the storytelling abilities or sales of the writers.

“Many of these are moments that readers and creators would simply like to forget, but they're a part of the fabric of the character. ”

Yes and welcome to ‘This is how a dramatic character on serialized fiction’ works.

“With Marvel's Spider-Man for PlayStation 4, Insomniac Games had the chance to start from scratch. They get to pick and choose what works for their version of Peter Parker and his alter-ego. The only backstory he brings to the table is that which Insomniac has carefully considered. This allows the team to drop the facets of Spider-Man that maybe didn't work and play around with some new ideas that might be better. And if Marvel's smart, they should steal some of what Insomniac Games did here.”

Why?

Insomniac already stole from Marvel.

Sales and storytelling potential for Spider-Man is NOT hampered by large continuity or even negative patches of it for the most part.

When bad stories happen so long as they are fixed then things get to move on. Even something as bad as Sins Past isn’t overly a drag because the story itself is so nonsensical it might as well not be canon, people have isolated and ignored it and the scope of the damage it can cause is fairly limited, it doesn’t really cut to the heart of the franchise. The time he hit his wife on the other hand was dealt with and moved on from.

So the existence of bad patches doesn’t really matter. Doctor Who has had no end of bad stories merely in it’s TV incarnation (to say nothing of it’s plethora of spin-off media which are all canon to varying degrees) and all those things still happened. But the show is still going strong and hit stratospheric popularity in the mid-late 2000s and early 2010s.

Hell the Simpsons is still going despite there being at least 20 years of mediocre-bad stories.

“I'm going to be honest. I'm not a huge fan of Mary Jane Watson. I don't necessarily have a problem with the character, but I've never really been a fan either. The marriage of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson was done on a whim and many writershated it at the time.”

Oy vey this shit again.

The marriage was not done on a whim. Stan Lee, the creator of Spider-Man wanted it to happen and EIC Jim Shooter decided to synch it up with the comics.

At the time Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz had been building up to Peter and MJ’s wedding with the intention of her jilting him.

But the build up from them, and other writers like Peter David, was still there.

Only the outcome changed.

As for this ‘many writers hated it’ thing, the article links to ONE writer’s opinion on the subject.

If we actually look at the majority of Spider-Man writers to have written for Spider-Man during and after the marriage we see most of them were okay or neutral on the subject.

David Michelinie wasn’t thrilled with it, but he came on side eventually. Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz were the same. Matt Fraction wasn’t too sure about it but wasn’t innately against it either. Nick Spencer clearly liked it. Howard Mackie has given statements indicating he was against it at a time but might over all be neutral. Roberto Aguirre Sacasa has never said anything on the subject to my knowledge but his work implies he’s supportive of it. Mark Millar has never said anything on the subject. J.M. DeMatteis, J. Michael Straczynski and Peter David have been outright supportive of it, as was probably Todd McFarlane, Jodie Houser and for sure artist Ryan Stegman.

Oh and Stan Lee the creator of Spider-Man. Let’s not leave him out.

Compared to that we have Roger Stern, Terry Kavanagh, John Byrne, Paul Jenkins, Gerry Conway and Jim Owsley who were against it.

Conway’s opposition was possibly due to his going through a divorce at the time. Stern’s opposition was based upon his idea of MJ being stuck in the Silver Age but he wasn’t innately opposed to Spider-Man marrying in general. Jim Owsley on his linked to blog (where he routinely lies, including claiming Ron Frenz was potentially suicidal when he never was) had a stupid sexist rationale for disliking the marriage. John Byrne is creepy shithead who would’ve preferred Spider-Man was dating underage girls anyway and along with Terry Kavanagh never wrote a good Spider-Man story in his life. In Kavanagh’s case he never even wrote a good story in his life.

So of all those people only Paul Jenkins dislike of it wasn’t unjustified. But he was an outlier.

Every other writer either liked it, was neutral on it, disliked it for nonsensical reasons or didn’t know about good storytelling in the first place to make citing them worth a damn in the first place.

And aside from aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of this...does the author realize Peter and MJ’s relationship and MJ’s whole character doesn’t begin and end in the years they were married?

Like he talks about their marriage as though this being bad proves their relationship and her character is bad when there was 20+ years of MJ prior to that.

“I think Peter has had better love interests over the years, including Gwen Stacy. ”

And the author would be wrong.

Gwen Stacy is neither better nor more interesting that Mary Jane.

That’s why THEY KILLED HER!

“Part of that is giving Mary Jane something to do. She's been a model and an actress, but the books were always more concerned with the superheroics, so you never really got the chance to feel her drive there. She was a nightclub owner, but again, the same problem persisted. ”

Except Spider-Man stories ARE NOT MORE CONCERNED WITH THE SUPERHEROICS!

My God. How the fuck can someone have read any number of Spider-Man stories and not realized, oh yeah, the book is about Peter’s life over all and his normal life is as if not MORE important than whoever he is punching this month.

By this logic Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Flash Thompson and literally every supporting cast member who isn’t J. Jonah Jameson or like Ashley goddam Kafka, is a better supporting character than Mary Jane.

Mary jane doesn’t have to be involved in the superhero side of Peter’s life because the Spider-Man series isn’t about that. It’s about his life in general and sometimes one blurs over into the other but not always and frankly if you go by the classic stories not even most of the time.

That’s why on the occasions where such things did happen it was a big deal.

“Other than supporting Peter Parker, what did Mary Jane Watson really want? ”

To be an actress

To be taken seriously as more than a model

To support her sick cousin

To earn a psychology degree

To avoid commitment

“Sometimes she just wanted Peter to not be Spider-Man anymore, which is a downer of a conflict.”

This is another lie.

The ONLY times during which Mary jane didn’t want Peter to be Spider-Man were during the Clone Saga when she was pregnant, he’d retired and Ben Reilly was the new Spider-Man and new main character (meaning there was no issue there) or during the Mackie/Byrne reboot where she was being written deliberately out of character as an act of sabotage.

Unless the author meant like in specific stories where Peter was injured and she didn’t want him to go off and be Spider-Man at that moment or in that specific context, as opposed to wholesale retiring. At which point...how is this a downer conflict? It’s a starkly realistic and emotionally justified conflict in a series built off the back of realistic emotions because Spider-Man is a human drama and soap opera FFS!

“Sometimes, things are good... ...sometimes, they're not.

Go to the article itself and notice the second image the author uses.

If you’ve ever encountered similar lines of anti-MJ/anti-marriage argument before those panels, that artwork or stuff similar to it might strike you as familiar.

Why?

Because it’s from the exact same story. Maximum Carnage.

Every asshole who tries to make this argument uses Maximum Carnage, one of the worst Spider-Man stories over all to bolster their claims. The repetition of scenes from this story (and usually the same scene) is telling because it’s either cherry picking from a notoriously bad story and pretending like it represented a norm (and removes it from important context FYI) or...these people don’t know what they are talking about and just parrot one another with the same examples.

“Over in the Ultimate Comics line, writer Brian Michael Bendis would give Mary Jane a career choice that dovetails well with superheroes: journalist. See, the reason DC Comics' Lois Lane works is her driving motivation—to be the best investigative journalist in the world—puts her on a path to run into Clark Kent and Superman. ”

Yeah and the problem is that MJ worked as well for decades even when she wasn’t a journalist. Shit she worked for the majority of Ultimate Spider-Man’s run prior to her becoming a journalist!

Yeah, remember that tiny piece of vital information the author conveniently ignored. For MOST of Ultimate Spider-Man’s 10 year tenure with Peter Parker as the lead character Mary Jane wasn’t a journalist!

Shit, she worked for her school paper so the idea that it made her involvement in heroics more organic is pretty bullshit.

More importantly prior to her journalist job Ultimate MJ’s role and function within the narrative was strikingly similar to her 616 married counterpart!

“Her intense curiosity and lack of self-preservation makes her endearing; the audience knows what she wants and the lengths she'll go to get it.”

And MJ’s goofy deameanor at times, inner strength, sociable nature, insecutirs, struggles with guilt and commitment make her endearing.

“So Insomniac decided to take the Ultimate version of Mary Jane and play it up to Lois Lane levels. She's an investigative journalist at the Daily Bugle searching for more on the recently-arrested Wilson Fisk. Her own adventures put her on the path to meeting with Spider-Man. You get that moment where they're both asking, "What are you doing here?" and you realize there's old, unmentioned romantic history. MJ already knows Peter is Spider-Man and she's fine with that side of his life. ”

And it works great...in a video game setting where you truly are spending 90% of your time in the middle of action and the plot needs to be entirely in service of that plot.

But in the context of a comic book more about the normal lives of the characters than revolving around superheroics and starring the most famous character (who’s clad in red and blue) of one of the two biggest companies in the world MJ as a journalist would die on it’s ass because it WOULD just be derivative of Lois Lane.

I mean Jesus Christ people also deride Black Cat and Norman Osborn for being derivative of Catwoman and Norman Osborn even though they deviate in big ways. But if Spider-Man major love interest/wife literally also became an investigative journalist and primarily interacted with Spider-Man (at least within the context of the main plot) within that role it would literally just be Lois Lane.

“This Mary Jane's problem is one of equal partnership. She's a great, inventive journalist. Sure, she could die on an investigation, considering where she decides to focus her talent, but in her mind, that's no different from a police officer or firefighter dying in the line of duty. The truth is important. This flips the dynamic a bit; her problem is that Peter doesn't acknowledge that she's also right where she needs to be. She's his equal, even if she doesn't have fancy Spider-powers. ”

  MJ was Peter’s equal in the comics too.

 Being someone’s equal as a person doesn’t mean doing the same job as them, working in the same line of work or directly contributing to the superhero action.

 You just need to be an equal in your personality and agency which in-universe MJ has had.

 This is to say nothing of how by this logic Alfred, Batman’s FATHER FIGURE, is not his equal or how Ganke Lee in Miles Morales comics wouldn’t really be HIS equal either or how, again, Spider-Man stories do not innately codify the superheroics as MORE important than the normal life stuff.

  “It's a great change.”

 Yes it is, in the context of a video game.

  “This Mary Jane is funny, a bit headstrong, and leaps sometimes before she looks. ”

 You mean just like comic book Mary Jane.

 “ Comic Mary Jane has many of these facets, but it's tough to get a grasp on what she really wants outside of Peter. ”

 Unless you’ve literally read the issue immediately after Peter meets her where she makes it clear she wants to be an actress. Or read any comic in the interim where she wants to have financial security, be taken seriously, reconcile with her family, indulge in/get over her commitment issues, help her cousin, learn psychology, etc.

 “Journalism doesn't have to be the answer, but there needs to be one that intersects with the lives of Peter and Spider-Man. ”

 No there doesn’t. In the real world couples jobs don’t have to intersect. Many of Peter’s supporting cast members do not have jobs that intersect with his life outside of the fact that they are his friends and/or family. This is true of other heroes too.

 MJ being Peter’s friend/girlfriend/wife is enough of a reason for her to intersect in his life and be featured in this stories, beyond that she can be given subplots of her own just like many other characters had.

 Two of the best subplots in Spider-Man involved Flash Thompson. One of them was his and Betty Brant’s affair and the other was his struggles with alcoholism. These were problems that for the longest time Peter wasn’t even aware of but they were compelling and entertaining unto themselves because Flash was a great character and we cared because he was Peter’s friend. However these stories also at no point ever really involved Spider-Man’s life. It was strictly confined to the problems of Peter Parker’s world.

 MJ’s job can be much the same.

 MJ’s normalacy is in fact a MAJOR reason why so many fans love her so much and why so many people love Spider-Man himself.

 Why make her more like Lois and her dynamic like that of Lois and Superman, those two characters who famously are awesome but also not as relatable as Spider-Man and MJ!

  “With Insomniac's Mary Jane, everything just clicks into place.”

 As would it for comic book MJ if you bothered to pay attention.

 “The problem here is Marvel never sat down and explained how this worked. Again, Peter's death was the impetus for Miles becoming Spider-Man. In the Ultimate comics, he had the powers long before he actually put on the costume. Miles' creator Brian Michael Bendis never sat down and explained the new backstory before he jumped over to DC Comics. We don't know the specifics of why this version of Miles took up the mantle, the question of his motivations always remains a bit fuzzy.”

  No it isn’t. Miles wasn’t REBOOTED into the 616 universe. He was integrated in with everyone’s memories altered around.

 His backstory was the same as in the Ultimate Universe he just literally, physically migrated over.

 Miles motivations were thus the same albeit undermined from a creative POV.

 “When the title of Spider-Man was passed on in the Ultimate universe, that made sense. But the question the Prime universe needs to answer now is: Why do they share the title? ”

 Because that was Miles’ chosen title and Peter gave his blessing for it and on a meta-level it is intended to represent how anyone can be Spider-Man.

 “Peter has offered it to Miles, but why does this version of Miles want it in return?”

  Because Ultimate Peter died and Miles wanted to honour him.

 It isn’t the case of he just ALWAYS existed in this universe. You cannot time travel back like 15 years into the 616 Marvel universe and locate baby Miles Morales He literally, physically doesn’t exist there.

 “That's really why these new versions of the characters work. I can see what they offer Peter and what he offers them in return. ”

 Comic book MJ offered Peter a human connection, a friend, a confidant, someone to support him and companionship.

 Why does she need to offer any more than that when in real life no one is hinging their deeper relationships upon the basis of what that person does for them in terms of their jobs or hobbies.

  “And that facet is sometimes missing in the Marvel Comics iteration. ”

 No it isn’t.

 “I see what they offer Peter, but sometimes it's hard to see what they get out of the relationship.”

 MJ gets a friend, companion, someone who understands and supports her, someone who helps emotionally fulfil her and make her a better person and sometimes someone who can help her in times of emotional and physical crises.

 “Great artists steal, Marvel. The comic publisher is already bringing Insomniac's Spider-Man into the the universe with the upcoming Spider-Geddon crossover (shown below). Now it's time to steal certain facets of the storytelling for the universe. Marvel Comics is stuck with the millstone of continuity around its neck, but that doesn't mean there aren't new directions the company can move Spider-Man and his amazing friends toward. ”

 Marvel has never rebooted it’s history since 1961.

 DC has done so in varying ways 5 or 6 times.

 Marvel outsells DC.

 Of all iconic characters owned by DC, Batman’s history has altered the least from one reboot into the next.

 Batman outsells every other DC character.

 In the 1980s Marvel fans had no access to the internet, few information books or other resources and few reprints with which to catch up upon the 20-25 years worth of history for the characters and of the few resources they did have not everyone had access to them.

 Marvel comics sold more physical copies back then than they do now.

 The highest selling Marvel titles of the 1980s and 1990s were the X-Men related titles which had objectively the most complicated, convoluted and least accessible .

 So STFU about too much continuity oh my God!

[kazephantom]

Spider-Man Homecoming thoughts

Well, my first one is kind of a spoiler but I think it is important to know.  Leave your expectations at the door.  This is a new version of Spider-Man, one that is different from any other version.  This is not Sam Rami Spider-Man, this is not Andrew Garfield Spider-Man, this is not Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon or comic, and this is not 616 Spider-Man.  This is a new version, a new interpretation of the character and mythos.  That being said, I liked it for what it is.

Thoughts and spoilers below the cut

The two best parts of the film are Tom Holland’s Peter Parker and Micheal Keaton’s Adrian Toomes.  The two actors play their characters so wonderfully well, Tom Holland’s Peter really, really reminds me of Tobey Maguire’s, from the voice he uses as Spider-Man, to how he sometimes comes off as lovably pathetic, and Hell, in some shots Tom Holland even starts looking like a younger Tobey Maguire.  That being said, he does tell more than one joke in the film, so his Spider-Man has that over Maguire’s. Oh, it should be noted though, he does not have Peter’s anger. Even in the scene where Tony takes away the tech suit, I really expected him to get angry there and show that aspect of the character off, but instead he just, kinda starts to cry.  Which, I don’t know how to feel about. 

Micheal Keaton. Hands down. Plays the best MCU villain. To date. Better than Loki. There I said it.  Hiddleston’s Loki has always had the problem of being too sympathetic to be taken seriously as a villain.  But Keaton. Holy shit. Everything he does is for his family, there’s a scene where he’s with his family and he is so sweet and caring and a perfect father and husband, but then. HOO BOY. That car scene. The scene where Keaton is dropping Peter and Liz off at the dance, I had white knuckles all the way through it.  The way he made Peter say ‘Thank you’ was terrifying.  And the way he found out Peter was Spider-Man, as they drive and you start to see Keaton put the pieces together. HO-LY SH-IT.  Only problem: nobody ever in this whole film calls him “The Vulture.”

Two more important notes about Spider-Man. First, Remember how in Civil War he was really, really strong?  Well forget that, because in this film he’s really, really weak.  Like, the weakest we’ve ever seen him.  Not just his strength, but also his sticky powers.  It is commonly accepted that Spider-Man’s stickiness is absolute, that it is an unbreakable molecular bond. When he sticks to something, if you try to remove him from it you will break the thing he is stuck to before the sticky bond comes undone.  Well forget that.  Because in this film Spider-Man is slippy and sliding all over the place when he’s sticking. Not just when he’s on a plane and in huge wind resistance where it might make sense, but when he’s climbing the Washington Monument, he can be seen sliding and loosing his grip on that too.  This could just be chalked up to him being nervous and inexperienced, but I really, really, really hope that it changes going forward and that Marvel can stay consistent with how strong this version of Spider-Man is supposed to be. Oh yeah, and no, at no point in the film did Spider-Man ever express his Spider-Sense.  I really hope this is just a case of “his powers are still growing”

Second point, that inexperienced bit.  Yeah. This is the most inexperienced Spider-Man we have seen on film to date.  I think the best symbol for this is the fact that this Spider-Man never once webswings in the city.  He is always shown in the residential neighborhoods, never once does he really webswing around.  He never goes to the big buildings.  Again, for this movie I liked that and it fit it’s tone, but I really hope the next film has him going all out, and has him in true form.

No Daily Bugle, no J. Jonah Jameson. I really think they were afraid to recast him after J.K. Simmons’ legendary performance, and as humorous as that is, I’m kind of sick of it.  Just recast already, we’re at the point now where it’ll be ok. Bite the bullet on this. 

I was one of those people who was really afraid this film would turn out to be Iron Man 4, and I am happy, so so so happy to say it is not.  Yes, Tony is in this, yes Iron Man is in this, but it’s not too much.  Tony really only has four relatively short scenes that I can remember, but they are important scenes plot wise.  I think he basically shows up to open and close every act.  The movie is definitely about Peter though, thank god.

Oh yeah, and the Iron Spider is in the film. Or, a version of it.  It invokes feelings of the Iron Spider, what with being an armored costume for Spider-Man, but in the end Peter turns it down and all for the better..... but I want a figure of it.  It was kinda hard to see the design, since it was in shadow a little, and there was no glory shot of it, but what I saw of it was cool and I want a figure of it.

Best Aunt May, her role in the film is what every Aunt May’s role should be. Oh, and that was the absolute best way to end the film “WHAT THE FU--”

Oh yeah, I was also worried about the highschool setting, since 30 year old writers pretty much never know what a modern highschool is like, (I’m 23, only 5 years out from it), but this highschool setting was perfect. The teachers. Just. Did. Not. Fucking. Care.  And that is so much my highschool experience.

Zendaya is MJ, but she’s not Mary Jane, and she’s really only there to set-up for the sequel.  It’s really nice set-up though.  They seem to have a good grasp on the idea of MJ’s character, how she wears a metaphorical mask to hide her true self just like how Peter wears a literal mask.  All we see in this film is her metaphorical mask persona and it’s good to be acquainted with that before exploring her further.  NOW, Yes, I would have preferred 616 the-mask-is-a-party-girl-Mary-Jane, and yes, Changing the character’s real name to Michelle is absolutely fucking unnecessary and stupid.  But I think it’s too early to judge this version of the character because we have so little information about them. 

Also there to set-up for the sequel is Mac Gargan, he has a role in the film itself as one of the people buying Vulture’s tech, but really his most important bit is the mid-credits scene, where he sets up the Sinister Six, and then Micheal Keaton’s Vulture wonderfully knocks that set-up down.  Also, he does not become Scorpion in this, though if he does come back in the sequel to be Scorpion I’d be cool with it.  His character is pretty much a total psychopath and we haven’t seen Spidey fight a villain like that in the movies yet.

That being said, if the next movie is Sinister Six I have total faith in Marvel to be able to do it, since this film had Vulture, Tinkerer, Prowler, Scorpion, and two Shockers in it, yet it never felt like that weighed the film down. Showing Spider-Man 3 and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 once and for all that it doesn’t matter how many villains you have, it’s how you use them that matters

The post-credits scene is the funniest one yet. Funnier than Deadpool’s even. 

Now, there are two things about this movie that I absolutely LOATHE... or, at least don’t like and think were completely unnecessary

Ned-- Holy fuck he was annoying.  His dialogue was nowhere as cringy as it was in the trailers, since they did that thing were they used alternate takes for the trailer lines, and yeah, the trailers for this film did not do it justice at all.  Ned’s “But you are a kid” line in the trailers sounds so forced and poorly acted, like he’s trying to be epic about it but comes off instead like he’s out of breath, but in the film it is so much more natural and quick. Back to the point though.  Yeah, he’s just Ganke.  They stole Ganke from Miles, gave him a white guy name, and gave him to Peter. And ‘Nedke’ and Peter do not have the same chemistry that Miles and Ganke have. Nedke’s role in the film is basically to just be a tool, a tool for the film so that Peter has someone to talk to to explain things too, and someone to be really, really stupid.  And that role would’ve been served so so so so so much better by Harry Osborn without the stupidity.  There is a montage at one point where Nedke is asking Peter a bunch of Spider-Man questions out in the open and Peter is just trying to get him to shut up, and it was so annoying I wished Peter would punch him in the fucking face. ....That being said he had one of the funniest jokes in the movie. “I’m... watching porn?”

Karen-- Hoo-boy. Ok. So. Spider-Man really is kind of just an Iron Man Jr. Even down to the fact that his suit has it’s own AI that talks to him and tells him what to do and stuff.  The taser webs are stupid and unnecessary, as is so so so much of the tech in Peter’s suit.  I’m glad that the webwings are clearly shown to just be for short range gliding, but I still think they’re unnecessary.  The film seems to go out of it’s way to show how Peter’s standard webline could be limited in certain situations, from being in a residential neghborhood, to climbing the Washington Monument where there’s nothing else around to swing on, setting an action scene on a boat (which how Iron Man saved that boat is completely physics defying), to even having Peter go way up into the air on a plane.  Back on point, yeah, Spider-Man’s suit has a completely unnecessary AI.  It’s only real purpose in the entire film is to be the punch line to one joke where the AI, which should have no human emotions or concept of human relations, tells Peter to kiss Liz. 

Other things I didn’t like but don’t really get on my nerves too much

The music sucked.  Just, sucked.  The only one that was any good was the orchestral version of the 60′s theme song.  I’m really torn with which theme I like better, the Orchestral 60′s or the Rami theme.  One of these days though, I need to put together a Spider-Man playlist and show these films what that should be like.

Peter didn’t end up beating the villain, he just won through pure coincidence.  Which I guess can be part of the point and audiences might be tired of the “good guy wins through a fist fight” climax, but still, Peter’s victory in this just, didn’t feel earned.  He didn’t show Vulture error of his ways, or talk him out of a life of crime, Vulture’s wings just took on enough coincidental damage to finally explode of their own accord.

Alright, I think that’s everything I wanna get down.  Or at least everything I can think of right now.  I’m tired now, gunna go watch some reviews, see what others thought and hopefully get to see this film in theaters again soon with friends.