#might take a break tomorrow and do some art instead

[rinhaler]

I'm soooo burnt out from writing again tbh I keep looking at my requests and then immediately closing the tab I just can't LMAO

[pugh-bug]

Flashing Lights

Art Donaldson x reader

If people like this I’ll write a part 2 and possibly some sub Art fics in the future. Challengers is all I can think about at the moment and this blonde man is living rent free in my brain.

——————————————————————

‘Come on come on, they can never have too many pictures taken of them!’

Your friend dragged you and your mediocre camera, quite forcefully, to Tashi Duncan’s party. It wasn’t just that you hadn’t been invited and that you weren’t remotely a tennis player it was that Ashley’s lame excuse of ‘they need more photographers’ was patently untrue. Everywhere you looked there were photographers with cameras that cost more than your yearly rent.

‘I’ll get us a drink wait here.’

You watched her confidently insert herself into the queue for the bar, in between endless posters of Tashi Duncan hoodies and Tashi Duncan headbands. If you hadn’t been such a feminist you might have felt a little sick from all the masturbatory self promotion.

In your idleness you decided to people watch. There were no less than a hundred people there already, all dressed elegantly with hair and makeup that no doubt took longer to do than the night would even last. You pulled at your tight dress. Flattering? Definitely. Comfortable? Absolutely not. Ashley had the tennis body, the Tashi Duncan confidence and skill but without the praise or queue of fans. You had your camera.

You hadn’t touched a tennis racket since you were ten years old. These people weren’t your peers they were your betters, including the snobby photographers and perhaps even including Ashely. At least she knew what ‘down the line’ meant.

‘Can we go?’ Your voice sounded bitter as Ashley handed you a cocktail. ‘I’ve got two photoshoots to edit for tomorrow and I don’t even like tennis! Why am I even here?’ As your friend defended her plan to ‘sleep with as many rich tennis players as possible’ your eyes wandered once again, this time landing on a man who needed no introduction.

‘Is that … Art Donaldson?’

It was him, smoking a cigarette by Patrick Zweig dressed for Summer. Fire and ice in the flesh. You suddenly felt the need to readjust your dress, your hair, your earrings. To fidget. To fidget and prepare for the chance he might look in your direction and see what he wanted.

‘Fuck me it’s Zweig.’

As Ashley launched into a thesis on why Patrick was the hottest man she’d ever seen, your eyes bored into the side of Art’s head. His curls fell so perfectly on his forehead but all you could find yourself imagining was messing them up. As your staring breached the line of too far, Ashley tapped your arm. ‘Think I should go talk to him? Flirt a bit? He’s a bit of a man whore, I’m pretty sure I could get him.’ Just as you opened your mouth to speak, the recipient of your staring began to move closer.

It only took a few moments for Art to reach yours and Ashley’s corner of refuge but his eyes never strayed from you. Zweig had followed him like a puppy and whilst you couldn’t have cared less where the brunette chose to stand, you could practically feel Ashley screaming in her head.

‘Aaliyah right? You basically murdered my friend out there yesterday.’ As Ashley corrected Patrick’s memory, you forced your eyes to look at anything that wasn’t Art’s knowing smirk in your direction. It didn’t work, in fact your refusal to make eye contact with the future star had made your feelings glaringly obvious.

You’d watched him play many times, instead of doing your own work, and although you found tennis a little boring the man had you riveted. The ease at which he hit the ball with such force, the little hand movements he’d do during a tie break and his cruel habit of taking his shirt off on hot days … you were hooked.

As he eyed your dress you wondered if he’d seen you, made note of just how many matches you’d been front and centre at. Maybe he knew you were an amateur photographer and perhaps his smirk was intended as a mockery of your being there. Art knew you didn’t belong at thee Tashi Duncan’s after party. You both knew it. He looked at you, finally as you’d lifted your gaze, and cocked his head slightly to the side.

‘So, you don’t like tennis?’

Shit.

‘Oh. You heard that.’

‘Yep.’

His voice was glazed with amusement as he sipped his cold beer, daring you to defend yourself.

‘Ashley was invited,’ you lied with little ease. ‘I’m here as her friend- well I guess also photographer but you all seem to have that covered.’ Both yours and Art’s eyes glanced at the gang of professionals taking Tashi’s photo. She was holding the shimmering trophy as if it was nothing of real value, she had the humble but proud smile down. Art clocked your jealous expression and raised an eyebrow. ‘Tashi not your favourite?’

‘She’s pretty amazing and she looks fucking beautiful tonight I can’t lie. I just, I guess I wish I was that talented.’

Despite her successful flirting to Patrick, Ashley heard your little, sad admission. Mentally you scolded yourself for letting Art see your vulnerable side. Instead of judgement he smiled.

‘Are you not the best at getting front row seats?’

He left off ‘at my matches’ but the point had been made loud and clear. You chose not to react and to ignore him completely. ‘Ashley?’ But when you turned your head to your friend you saw her mouth was occupied. Oh.

Art laughed at his best friend. ‘Seriously? You couldn’t go one night?’ No, Patrick couldn’t and he couldn’t find it in his horny heart to feel guilty for stealing your one friend and escape route from you. The pair, still connected by their lips, hurried away from the party and to some poor fucker’s bedroom. You were alone with Art Donaldson and the party that engulfed the two of you had began to die down.

‘I should go too-‘

‘Wanna go down to the beach with me?’

You couldn’t help but scoff audibly at his request. ‘You don’t even know my name.’

Art’s eyes practically gleamed with cheekiness as he moved towards you. ‘Then tell me.’

‘It’s Y/N.’

With a charming smile he repeated his offer. ‘Y/N… wanna go down to the beach with me?’

If a mind reader had been in attendance you’d have been mortified as your first thought was: Oh god have I even shaved?

The decision to take your heels off had been an impulsive one and an instant regret as you felt the brittle sand rub against your toes. Avoiding the broken glass, you walked into Art’s shoulder and quickly apologised. ‘You’re like a baby deer.’

You perched on the rock overlooking the water that moonlight reached. Art’s eyes were transfixed on you as your hair blew from your shoulders. Surely he was just bored and flirting for fun. But you hadn’t seen him speak to anyone except Patrick before approaching you.

‘What is it about photography?’ Art gestured to the camera you almost forgot you were still wearing around your neck.

‘What is it about tennis?’

Art lit his second cigarette, took a drag and smirked.

‘I’ll let you answer that.’

Much to his elation, your dress had begun to ride up but you hadn’t noticed. You simply dug your toes in the sand and smiled coyly at the blonde. But how to best handle this?

‘Watching you play tennis isn’t like watching other people play tennis.’

Art grinned, only for a moment, but you caught the ego boost in real time. He moved backwards in his chair, outstretching his long legs and looking up at you with keen interest and quiet amusement. ‘Go on.’

Your mind flashed back to his most recent match. His opponent had purposefully coughed every time it was Art’s turn to serve and instead of letting it distract him or doing it back Art had fired the ball, with force, by his head. It had been a warning, not a greatly subtle one but certainly great to watch. The shock on the boys face as he narrowly missed receiving a black eye had made you laugh and you suddenly remembered Art had beamed at you when you had.

‘You’re just really good at it.’

‘Try again.’

He wasn’t making this easy for you but that didn’t mean you had to shower him in compliments, not when he hadn’t so much as asked you your name until prompted. You watched him, completely settled and comfortable in Tashi Duncan’s deck hair and wondered if someone this confident and talented (and knew as much) could possibly be single… unless?

‘Are you and Patrick just friends?’

He twitched ever so slightly at your question before covering his shock with a chuckle.

‘Umm.. yes. Sorry to disappoint.’

You smiled, suddenly feeling more confident now that you’d put him on the spot for the first time that night.

‘Not disappointed.’

Seeing you at ease, seemingly with any answer he had to offer, Art relaxed into his chair again. A moment of silence passed as the two of you listened to the very end of the party above and the seas tumbling waves. The water was just beginning to reach the rock you’d been safely perching on. A sign to leave.

‘I think I should go back to my ho-AAA!’

You’d barely taken two steps before buried broken glass assaulted your feet.

‘Jesus fuck!’

‘Y/N!’

The pain shot through you from toe to head, it settled in between your eyebrows as you frowned, trying not to scream. Art’s face was a picture of panic. He couldn’t help but notice how much pain you were in from putting weight on your foot, which had just begun to bleed as a thought entered his head.

‘I’ll carry you.’

‘I think I can walk.’

You took a hesitant step further but your foot ,in an act of betrayal, buckled under the pain. Giving Art a look of defeat you sighed. ‘Yeah, I think you’re gonna have to.’

You thought it would feel strange, the man whom you’d been watching almost obsessively for months play a sport you despised carrying you to safety. It didn’t. It felt right. His strong arms flexed under your weight as he took confident but cautious steps to Tashi’s party. There wasn’t much left of it. In fact the only people still there were two photographers packing up their lighting equipment and they didn’t give you so much as a second glance.

‘Any chance you secretly are friends with Tashi?’ Art asked, his voice hopeful, hoping he could drop you off to safety. He pursed his lips when you shook your head. Another moment of silence passed through the two of you but this one was different. You craned your neck out to gage the distance before suggesting:

‘My hotel really isn’t far. A mile at most.’

Art smirked for a moment, forgetting what the actual circumstances were. Your foot had stopped bleeding but you didn’t feel like walking. In fact you were rather enjoying Art Donaldson: the knight in shining armour. It was a good look on him.

‘Uber?’

‘Think of it as a workout.’

It wasn’t the recreational workout Art had been hoping for that night but he did it. He carried you and your shoes to your hotel room. The receptionist barely reacted to your new person but of course what did she care? She was probably only concerned with what mess you’d leave the cleaners.

‘67, this is it.’

Art put you down, keeping his arm around your waist for support. He was a little flushed from the exertion and you were flushed from the pain, or perhaps just his wandering hand.

‘Do you want me to st-‘

‘I want you to stay.’ You interrupted him hurriedly, desperate for him to stay. In that moment you didn’t mind if he stayed to read the complimentary bible next to you or if he wanted to fuck you mercilessly in front of the bathroom mirror. You just wanted him close.

At your eagerness, Art smiled following you in. Your hotel room was not too messy for visitors but it certainly hadn’t been expecting any. For a moment you wondered how Ashley was getting on in her room down the hall and if she too had embarrassed herself in front of her favourite tennis player. Somewhat likely.

‘I think seeing as you’ve carried me bleeding you can see me in pyjamas. Give me one se-‘

You gestured to the bathroom and your dress, looking forward to getting out of it but Art shook his head. You froze. His face was one of sheer determination and unwavering confidence, not unlike the look he gave cocky opponents who needed humbling. He closed the gap between you until his chest was inches from yours but blocked by your camera. You took it off, not breaking eye contact, and placed it slowly on the desk behind you.

Just as you thought the only way to break the silence would be with a kiss, Art broke eye contact. ‘Do you have any antiseptic wipes? Anything to clean it?’ You felt your stomach unclench. ‘Yeah.’ Limping slightly, you fetched a packet from the bathroom sink and placed them in Art’s open palm. He gestured to the bed.

‘Sit.’

His order was polite but you felt compelled. Sitting on your own bed as if it was alien, you looked up at him waiting for the next.

‘Foot.’

Art got down on his knees. Your stomach flipped. With careful hands, he held your injured foot and inspected it. You’d never felt so exposed before, the way his eyes engaged with your wound as if it were more fascinating than any match he’d won. There was an unspoken rule for neither of you to speak as he cleaned you. It stung like a bitch but you only let out minor hisses in pain, barely audible to Art but not unnoticeable.

As he took out a plaster, seemingly from thin air, and applied it to your foot he said: ‘Before tonight,’ Ouch. You winced from the pressure he applied. ‘I’d seen you watching me.’ He didn’t look at you, only concentrating on his handiwork and causing you as little pain as possible.

‘Yeah I gathered from all the teasing.’

His voice grew suddenly lower. ‘I’m not talking about tennis matches.’

You were suddenly reminded of a not so distant memory. Ashley had stood you up for lunch, she’d found a better hot date, and you had been in the cafeteria alone. Art had been queuing in front of you, waiting for Patrick and you’d been in awe. What you hadn’t noticed was that he’d sensed your eyes burning holes into the back of his head long before he turned around. He had given you a passing look of recognition and slight amusement before finding his seat next to Patrick.

You imagined alongside that memory were hundreds others. Hundreds of days you’d stared at Art, watched how he span his apples before eating them and the line of his jaw when he drank water in oppressive heat. All the time he had known, you just hadn’t been as subtle as you thought.

‘Oh.’

Art gave you your foot back and sat on the bed beside you. For a moment you couldn’t bare to look at him, incase he disappeared and decided it was funnier to leave you hanging. Your foot was the least of your worries. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d really kissed someone, with feverish need, but you wanted to.

Noticing your inward battle, Art raised his hands almost in defeat. ‘I can leave.’ He meant it, there was no judgement. You turned to him, your eyes meeting his clouded with lust, and recognised that this was a man who needed to be wanted. He wanted to give and receive pleasure, not out of boredom but out of a clawing need for it. If you wanted him to leave then he’d leave but if you wanted him to stay then he’d make the most of it.

Your hand settled atop of his.

‘Don’t.’

Part 2

Masterlist

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 23

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Rating:  E

Warnings: nothing

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count: 1857

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 23

The plane touched down in Eugene just after midnight.  It was too late to rent a car, so Melody’s brother came to pick them up.  Because they were landing at a private hangar, he could drive onto the tarmac to meet them.  It was funny to come down from a private jet to be met by an early 2000s Dodge pickup.

Melody and Steve approached her brother as the crew loaded the bags into the pickup.  She worried things might be weird between them.  The fight had never been with her brother, but they hadn’t spoken much outside of Facebook and Instagram since she’d moved out.  She’d always worried that he’d taken their side in all of this.

Instead, he came straight to her, pulling her into a tight hug.  “Oh my god, it's so good to see you!”

She hugged him back, relaxing into his embrace.  “You too.  I missed you.  Thank you for coming to get us.”

“Of course, I wouldn't leave you stranded,” he said.

You pulled away and gestured to Steve.  “River, this is Steve.  Steve, River.”

Steve stepped forward and offered River his hand.  “Pleasure to meet you,” he said. 

River was tall enough to look Steve in the eye but he was lankier and more wirey than her boyfriend.  He was wearing his hair in twists and had a goatee.  He also had some new ink that Melody had never seen before.  She wondered how her parents had reacted to that.  He took Steve’s hand and shook it.  “It’s all mine, Cap,” he said.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Steve is fine.”

“Come on you two,” Melody said. “I don’t want to freeze my ass off on the tarmac.”

For Steve’s sake, Melody climbed into the back seat and he got into the front passenger beside River.  She stretched out in the back seat and rested her head against the window, wishing there was a pillow she could use.  It had been such a long day and she just wanted to pass out.  She closed her eyes anyway, listening to the engine and Steve and River’s conversation in the front as she rested in the back.

“How far are we going?” Steve asked.

“It’ll be just under an hour.  We’re a bit out.  Not too bad though,” River replied.  “Mom and Dad will be asleep when we get in.  So you won’t get to meet them until tomorrow.”

“That’s fine,” he said. “Meeting your girlfriend’s parents is hard enough without having to do it in the middle of the night.”

“That’s true,” he said.  “But they’re excited to meet you.  And to see Mel.  It’s been a while.”

“Melody and River are very unique names,” Steve said.

River laughed.  “They’re not too bad, thankfully.  But yeah - I think Mom and Dad enjoyed the 60s quite a lot.”

“There was a huge free love movement in the 60s,” Melody piped up from the back.  “Lots of people fighting authority and authoritarian rule.  One of the side effects was people giving their kids names that felt like they were connected to the Earth mother.”

Steve chuckled. “Right.  I guess that makes sense.  Though it seems extra confusing with the whole…”

He trailed off.  Melody knew how that sentence ended.  With the whole incident where they wouldn’t allow their trans niece to move in with them after her parents rejected them.

“Yeah,” River said, his voice dropping a half-octave.  “No one can quite work that one out.”

There was a heavy pause in the air and after a little while it seemed to get a little uncomfortable for Steve.  “So what do you do, River?” he asked.

Melody dozed as she listened to their small talk in the front.  River’s new internship at the Portland Art Museum.  What it was like to wake up in the twentieth century.  At one point River just spoke about how overrated Voodoo Donuts was for ten minutes and then ended with saying he’d drive out there and get some so that Steve could see for himself.

She sat up when the tires began to crunch on gravel.  She blinked and stretched.  The porch light was on but otherwise, the whole place was dark.  The shape of the peaked roofs was just visible in the gloom.  Looking at it in the dark made her stomach twist into knots.  This week had been so terrible with work and his fans and now she was back at her childhood home.  A place she hadn’t returned to in almost a decade after a fight that had left her homeless for over a month.

“You’re really far out, huh?” Steve said as River pulled into the garage.

“Oh, yeah,” River said.  “Dad had this dream to build a house in the country.  This is it.”

“There’s animals,” Melody said. “I’ll show you around tomorrow.”

They grabbed their bags and went inside.  A light was on in the hall, but otherwise, the house was completely dark. Two white German Shepherds greeted them, Melody had only seen them in pictures and she crouched down and held her hands out to try and introduce herself to the dogs.  When River patted and told them they were good dogs, they relaxed and came to investigate Melody and Steve.  “I’m gonna head to bed,” River whispered.  “I’ll see you in the morning.  Nice to meet you again, Steve.”

“You too.  Sleep well,” Steve replied.

“Night, Riv,” Melody whispered.

When Melody eventually pulled herself away from the dogs, she led him down the hall to her old childhood room.  It was just as she’d left it.  Her bookshelf was filled with so many books they were two deep in places, and a collection of stuffed animals sat on top.  Her desk had a stack of papers on it and several novelty pens in a mug with a carebear on it.  Her old desktop computer and printer were still there too.  She’d taken her comforters with her when she’d moved out, so the bed had been made up with some new bedding she didn’t recognize.  She was grateful that she’d upgraded to a full bed when she was in high school because even a full was going to be a squeeze with Steve.  If she’d had a twin bed, someone would be sleeping on the floor.

Steve was completely fascinated by her room.  He walked around it slowly, picking things up and turning them over.  “I can’t believe I’m in your childhood room.

“Different from yours I bet,” she said.

He nodded.  “Very.  I did have a lot of books too.  But I used to stick my art to the walls.”

“Well, next best thing,” she said and pulled open the top drawer on her desk.  Inside were stacks and stacks of notebooks, all filled with her writing.  Poems.  Short stories.  Novels both finished and unfinished.  Screenplays.  Fanfiction.  Thousands of words of erotica, written before she had a real understanding of sex, and full of misguided tropes and physical impossibilities.

Steve pulled the one at the top out and flicked through the pages. “This is all your writing?” he asked.

“It sure is,” she said as she started to get undressed.

“Can I read some of it?”

She scrunched her nose. “It was all written before I left the house, which was a few months before I went to college.  So it’s pretty cringey.  And also probably very bad.”

He shrugged.  “I know, but I’d still like to.  Not all of it.  But I’d just like to see.”

“Okay,” she said.  But not now.  Let me find some that aren’t terribly embarrassing.”

He chuckled and came over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her in.  “How are you doing?”

She shrugged a little.  “I feel a little sick if I’m honest,” she said. “Like my stomach is eating itself.  I’m so worried about tomorrow.  I don’t know if I should try and just pretend nothing happened so we can get through Thanksgiving and you’ll have met them and I’ll go back to New York and nothing will have changed, only we’ll tentatively be back in each other’s lives in some superficial way.  Or if I should confront them and try and get past this because they really hurt me and if they still feel like what they did was the right thing, I don’t want them in my life.”

He wrapped his arms around her so that one hand was pressed to her cheek and the other was on her hip, and he pulled her in tight, resting his chin on the top of her head.  “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.  I hope you know that.  If you want to start the day with a big cathartic confrontation and it doesn’t go the way you’ve planned, we can fly back to New York and have Thanksgiving with our friends.  If you just want to play nice and get through it without any arguments, I’ll smile and make small talk and you can vent to me anytime we’re alone and I’ll nod along and sympathize.  I’m here for you, Mel.”

He pulled back and looked down at her.  “And I get it all.  I grew up in a home of abuse.  I behaved just to get along sometimes.  And I made waves when I thought that was needed too.  I know how tricky family can be to navigate.”

She got up onto her tiptoes and pecked Steve’s lips.  “I love you so much, Steve Rogers.”

“I love you too, Melody Danes,” he said.

He snuggled into his chest again, just listening to his heartbeat and letting it soothe her.  He held her not rushing her along, not trying to make it anything.  He just held her and he didn’t let her go until she was pulled back from him.  “We should really get ready for bed.  It has to be creeping towards two.”

“Good idea.  Where’s the bathroom?” he asked.

She pointed him across the hall and while he washed up, she changed into her pajamas and put her hair into a bonnet.  When Steve came out they traded places, and by the time she crawled into bed, she felt a little less nauseated but exhausted down to her bones.

“You’re probably going to wake up before I do,” she said, as she maneuvered herself so that she was tucked in close to Steve, with her head in the crook of his arm.

“I know,” he said.  “I usually am.”

“You can wake me up if you need to.  You shouldn’t have to meet my parents by yourself.”

He hummed and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’ll see how I go tomorrow,” he said.  “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart.  Just get some sleep.”

She leaned up and pecked his lips.  “How did I get so lucky?”

“I’ve been asking myself that since you agreed to go out with me,” he replied.  “Night, Mel.”

“Night, Steve,” she whispered.  She closed her eyes, and despite how much stress she was still holding on to, or maybe because of it, she was asleep almost immediately.

// NEXT

[sandcobangevent]

Whatever May Come and Whatever May Go, That River’s Flowing

by @iwantthatbelstaffanditsoccupant and Eve283 Read the fic and view the art on AO3!

He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. He picked up the phone and read the text.

Yet another apology. This one even more ridiculous than the last. So now Sherlock is claiming his mug (his meaning John’s) had made him (him meaning Sherlock) feel like he (meaning John) was in the room with him (meaning Sherlock…again). Selfish bastard. Stealing all the hims along with the Swindon mug. John’s Swindon mug. To hold God-knows-what.

John placed his (meaning John’s) hand on his (John's again) forehead and sighed. He’d had a bit to drink and he’d maybe try to sleep it off if possible. But first, some more water, along with a paracetamol.

It was almost sweet. The text. Not the paracetamol.The sort of confession that made John both immediately suspicious as to its veracity and glad he hadn’t heard the ping over the general noise of quiz night at the Volunteer. He’d have responded, he was sure of it. And then he’d have forgiven the bastard for using his mug again.

And three missed calls. Lovely. Lovely and jubbly, his mind supplied. Which made him smile, in spite of himself. And that made him frown.

John was beginning to think he might be pissed. In the American sense as well as the British. Fucking Sherlock Holmes.

You wish, responded a voice inside his brain. Yeah. I guess I do, he replied back.

Not exactly a new thought for John, but not a welcome one right now. Water and sleep. Much more welcome.

A voicemail.

Sherlock never left a voicemail. John stared at the number in its tiny red circle for a full minute before he remembered to press play.

“John. I…”

Not good.

“I…  Apologies. For the mug. I… It’s true, what I said about the mug and your presence. Well, that and the top is curved slightly outward, so I can stir it easily when adding a solvent without scraping the sides. The sound is…discordant. But, what I wanted to say was…” There was a pause and his voice cracked as the message continued. “…Well, I will be home sometime tomorrow morning. That was not my intent, and I am not sending any sort of message through my absence. Oh, and I acquired a replacement mug. So don’t worry.”

John sighed. Sleep would have to wait. And his buzz was gone for good. He texted Sherlock.

Where are you?

On a footbridge. Looking down at the water. It’s calming.

And where is the bridge?

In Swindon.

Swindon.

Yes.

Well that explained the overnight absence. The last train back to London left at 11 and it was past midnight.

Can you tell me why you went to Swindon?

To get another mug, of course. London shops wouldn’t have one.

So you what, took a train, to Swindon?

The 9:17, yes. I wanted to do something productive while waiting for midnight. But the return is… Well

Is a 5 hour stop in scenic Reading for the night before it continues into Victoria, yeah.

Yeah.

Might as well stay.

Yeah.

Wait. How did you buy a mug at eleven-something in Swindon?

The shops would all be closed. Those sort of shops anyway.

I purchased it. I knew you wouldn’t want it if I hadn’t. 

I left payment on the counter next to the register. 

You broke into a store, took a Swindon mug, and left a tenner?

20. You underestimate the value of your mug. 

And a thank you note.

John laughed.

Ok you absolute nutter.

Then he paused. He was certain he was missing something. Something important. John scrolled up. 

Why were you waiting for midnight?

Is the fairy godmother meeting you to take her shoes back?

Another reference to the cindersweep woman? You must like that one.

Yes it is. And I guess I do. 

But why were you killing time till midnight instead of, you know, going back?

Or even leaving tomorrow morning to buy my mug in person at a reasonable hour instead of committing B&E?

It isn’t breaking and entering unless I do something illegal once I’m inside.

And I did pay for it. Overpaid, even. 

But Victor is 9 hours ahead.

And while he has always been an early riser, I thought waiting till 9 am would be the polite thing to do.

Oh. So you wanted to call him.

Yes.

John waited for more information. None came. Then the stark realisation that he had gotten angry at Sherlock and his response to the argument was to run off to replace the mug and to call what had once been his only friend in the world.

Did you reach him?

Yes.

Three white dots appeared, then stopped, then appeared again. It felt like ages before anything appeared on screen.

Lionel Trevor, or rather the man we have chosen to refer to as such, is dead.

John collected his thoughts and then responded.

I’m sorry. What happened?

He hoped to God Lionel hadn’t made the decision to end his own life. 

Natural causes.

John felt a wave of relief, only to have it dashed upon the rocks as the message continued.

It was already late so I thought I’d grab a coffee and call. 

Just to check in. 

Late here, early there. 

He had died two weeks prior.

Where are you?

A footbridge in Swindon, Watson, do keep up.

 I believe I mentioned it earlier when I said I’d be returning late.

What bridge? I’m coming to get you.

No need. I’ll be back in the morning. 

No. Just tell me which bridge. Cross-streets.  

More delay. John paced around the flat, waiting.

It’s a stunning piece of architecture. It spans the canal between Waitrose and the Hall & Woodhouse pub. A laser-cut steel masterpiece.Truly the Pride of Swindon.

Hall & Woodhouse. Got it. I’ll grab a rental and be there in two hours.

John, it’s just an hour-long train ride in the morning

As opposed to a two hour drive here and two back. 

I’ll be fine.

I’m on my way. If you get cold, go in the pub, k?

I will.

It wasn’t two hours. More like an hour forty. Or maybe John was just driving more than a bit on the fast side. 

There he was, a dark silhouette leaning on the railing of a non-descript bridge over what may have once been something which bore a far greater resemblance to a river. Now it was perhaps a stream at best and it looked as if they could have built the road right on top of it and no one would have been the wiser. Still, John walked across the tiny bridge in slow, measured steps, not quite sure what he should say when he reached Sherlock, who was standing dead center, staring into the struggling current. It turned out the right thing to say at that moment was nothing at all.

[zipzapzopzoop]

There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow

Chapter 18: Slipping Through My Fingers All the Time

Franny dropped him without a second thought.

In a fraction of a second, Franny’s anger changed to confusion. She took a step back, trying to understand what was going on.

With nowhere to run, the stranger slumped to the floor and seemed to curl in on himself. Only then did Franny notice the cord and guard attached to the gun she was holding.

“Mom?” 

Franny jolted when the door opened and Wilbur began to walk in. 

“Mom, are you okay? I heard something break.” Franny frantically motioned him out. “Stay in the hall! Don’t come in!” Despite looking startled and confused, Wilbur obeyed.

“What’s happening?” He called.

“I don’t know yet, just stay there! And shut the door!”

Wilbur did so. He waited in the hall for a minute. 

Suddenly there was the sound of something getting knocked over in another room. Who’s there…? 

Wilbur headed towards the noise in the darkness of the house.

Back in the storage room, Franny blindly felt around the walls until she found a lightswitch. 

The light came on, and even without the helmet and goggles, Franny recognized him in a heartbeat. He may be her nephew, but from the moment his mother abandoned him and his sister, Franny and Cornelius stepped up, and he became like another child to her. She didn’t know whether to be relieved to find him or upset that she had attacked him.

“Laszlo! I’m so sorry, I had no idea it was you!”

He didn’t look up at her. Instead he stayed with his face buried in his knees, breathing heavily. She suddenly realized he was having a panic attack. 

For the third time in two minutes, she went into mother bear mode.

Franny kneeled by him. “Honey, look at me.”

A choked sob escaped his throat, and he hugged himself tightly. “Shoot,” she muttered. This is a bad one. He doesn’t have his medicine, that's still in the future. She looked around. His goggles. That might be why he wouldn’t look up. It was discovered a few years ago that when Laszlo was anxious, his goggles always helped.

Franny retrieved them and tried again. “Lasz, look at me. It’s okay, I have your goggles.” Slowly, Laszlo glanced up at her with tearful eyes. He looked at the goggles in her hand and gently reached out to take them. Franny rubbed his shoulder lovingly. He was shaking like a leaf. “It’s okay...”

Laszlo slipped the goggles over his eyes, and Franny could tell almost immediately that they were calming him down. His breathing began to slow, and his shivering lessened. He sniffed and wiped away a couple stray tears that slipped from his eyes. He struggled with anxiety almost all his life, so Franny always knew what to look out for.

She also always knew what helped. 

Gently as a mother could, she pulled him into a warm embrace.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t.. I just… I… I thought…” His voice cracked and broke.

“Shh... just take a second and breathe.”

Franny began to sing quietly, the same way she did when he was little. 

When Petunia first abandoned him. 

 As she sang, he closed his eyes and listened, calming down enough to understand that he was safe, and that nobody was going to hurt him. Not here. By the time the song had finished, he was doing much better. Franny’s music could help anyone in times of need.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were somebody else. There were some men that tried to kidnap me. If it wasn't for Buster and Uncle Art, I don't know where I'd be right now. Usually I can bounce right back from situations, but for whatever reason this one just really got to me. I just… yeah.”

Franny’s eyes widened. “Wait, hang on. Someone tried to kidnap you?! Who?!”

“I don’t know who they were. Some men creeping through an alleyway. Their faces were just… so creepy. I can’t stop thinking about them.”

Franny felt like her heart fell through the floor. Her brothers. Her family. Cornelius.

Someone’s trying to hunt them down.

------

Check out the chapter on my Archive!

[iantimony]

tuesday yet we persevere

what a week lads

listening up to partizan 18. the exchange of jack: "is inertia when you're stopping or going?" austin, very confidently: "it's when you're going" had me shouting NO at my phone, thank god art chimed in to clarify and actually define inertia. i love you art. been listening to a lot of breaking benjamin while i marathon-focus on trying to finish my poster by. tonight. yeouch.

reading fallow

playing pokego! it's become my fun little morning activity while i lay in bed waking up. like. ok i need to be awake. i will drowsily catch the 3 pokemon that spawn around me and spin the pokestop across the street. ok time to get out of bed i guess.

watching hbomberguy new four hour video reigns supreme. i've had it on periodically while i do chores, cook, etc.

making pottery! basically everything came out of the kiln at once! some finished objects:

the mugs (more like teacups, really, shrinkage strikes again) came out cute, despite the orange one getting a crack in the handle. i really love the way the white bowl came out with the koi, i'd put lillypads inside but they really didn't show up at all so i didn't bother photographing. that little black vase was done with a dark blue glaze that came out. black. so i probably did too many layers, plus it was on red clay, so oops. the little ramekins came out cute, i tried one of the stoneware glazes on the left one and it came out really matte which surprised me, but otherwise some standard lil bowls! and finally i hate the striped object behind the ramekins. i forgot to cover it up after making it and didn't get to trim it before it was bone dry so i just had to let it be was it was so it's really bottom-heavy. and i hate the way the glazed stripes came out. such is life. my roommate likes it so i might give it to her LOL.

dragon mug underglaze came out interesting!!! i used two different brands of underglaze and one of them came out. shiny?? so putting clear normal glaze over that texture proved a real challenge, especially for the handle. i used another underglaze (a chocolate brown, same as the one on the handle on the right) to fill in the background/inside/some linework details, then covered the whole thing in clear, so we'll see how that turns out! the little tree teacup i just covered in clear and put back on the kiln rack, i didn't want to add anything else to it, it came out sooo cute :)

did more underglaze stuff on two bowls, eye motif!!! one as a scratched out and one as painted on. excited to see how they go for the first firing. i had some Big bowls to trim and they were still a little wet but i was like eh i bet i can. i could not. look how i've massacred my boy (bottom left). it totally spun off the wheel but thankfully it's still soft enough that i was able to just sorta nudge it back into a circular shape. i did ragequit trimming for that day because of it though and did the eye underglaze work instead hahahah. hopefully will be able to trim them on wednesday! it's just so dang cold in the area where the pottery is stored to dry out so it takes forever in the winter.

finally, i finished the winter headband for my roommate's mom last night! image is not the finished one, i forgot to take a picture yesterday but i'll just do that after i block it later this week. i took the photo a few days ago because i actually made a mistake in the pattern and was trying to judge how obvious it was and whether or not to go back 10 rows and redo it. i don't think it's that obvious so i decided to keep going. can you spot the mistake :b

misc oughhh aughgghghgh academic poster. my advisor was really difficult to communicate with yesterday but made up for it this morning. her husband stressed me out for no reason but it's fine. i think i can finish it before the poster session tomorrow but odds are in the air as to whether i can get it Printed before the poster session tomorrow. woof. and then i need to figure out what i'm wearing at this conference and pack by friday.

[rainbowdaisy13]

Nothing, not a god damn thing in the world is worth this. She could drop that mockumentary people keep talking about tomorrow and I wouldn't give a shit. It's not worth it. To be on top of the world and sing that you're miserable? Why? Stop it. Why add more shows after London if you're miserable already? Fuck these people and their leaks. Instead of doubling down I would've dropped him the same day. It's not September 28th so it doesn't count. What are you gonna do ? Sue me and expose yourselves in the process? Don't think so. Adele knew her limits and said she's taking a break because she doesn't want to lose her real life. I fear Taylor already lost it and this is her spiraling. Nobody is a clown like her. Like you said and I agree, people value authenticity. She's stuck in the past with her antics because she doesn't really know how to be authentic. She only knows how to change personalities based on beards. I bet she's scared to be herself cause she's never been that to the public. I don't think we actually know who "herself" is.. Don't think we've ever seen that.

The most ironic part is that she has her own management firm, her label contract is actually more laxed than 90% of contracts in the music industry, and yet she's acting like someone's puppet. Unless she completely gave her autonomy away to her parents, Britney style, she's more free music contract wise than others. And I can't use the excuse that she singned this NFl contract and need to go forward with it. Was she blind? You have power here, you can sign it on your terms at least. And did the head of the NFL tell her to act like this? I think they might be baffled themselves thinking they got in business with a lose canon 🤣

I'm more shocked than anything watching it because NO theory, no matter how you look at this, it's not worth it. That's why no one's doing it. Unless there's some severe psychological issues at play and she gets off on revolutionizing performance art or something. At the cost of herself and her family no less, if you guys are right.

[notetaeker]

Goodbye 2022

@peregrination-studies thank u for the tag! I love love planning and reflecting on the year so this was such a fun tag for me to do

What are things you've grown to like this year?

The process honestly. I've always been impatient when it comes to seeing results but over this year I started to appreciate the process of things? I've always been the type to start a project and then work on this project for 3 days until I'm done and by then I'd get so tired of it or be unsatisfied with the result because it doesn't reflect my tireless 3 days worth of work. But nowadays I start projects, put them away, continue it later, and it's been so enjoyable. I take time to fix any small things I would have ignored in the interest of time, start over if necessary. Just you know, processing it slowly. Instead of rushing toward the result, the experience of whatever it is- is the most important. It's still a work in progress but i think this is one of the things that surprised me the most in myself - the fact that I'm even able to do it. Other things I've grown to like: autumn lol and maybe even winter just a teensy bit.

What are things you've learned this year? Oof a lot of things actually. I think I'll make a list from my journal - Every morning I get to decide how to live my life / what I prioritize - Allah will open doors for you from placed you couldn't imagine - But you have to put in some effort and show you're trying - Living is much easier when you accept it instead of fighting it -Surely as the evening comes after a scorching hot day, so too will respite from whatever you're struggling with, it is the law of the world (the mercy of Allah) and all that was only until June asdlkj let me not make this too long lol maybe I'll make a post on stuff I learned this year

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art? Books: The Secret Garden, Born a Crime Movies/Anime: Spy x Family, Julie and Julia, Also I watched all the spiderman movies on some random week like a crazy person Other art: sarah burns studio on youtube and her seascape watercolor paintings. They're so simple but also really beautiful

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year? There's only 2 days left! I was looking forward to buying yarn and I got it yesterday, so excited abt that. I'm hoping to go the beach today or tomorrow and see (sea) the ocean so :') excited for that if it happens (its so cold tho who knows). OH ALSO i wanted to bake cookies for my students for the first day of classes back from break and might make those early so that too ! :D

What would you like to see happening next year? SO MUCH omg - 1. Improve my arabic: I enrolled in an Arabic class because I've literally forgotten so many things so excited abt that. I also signed up for some other islamic studies classes b/c there was a discount so hopefully those are fun too! 2. take more notes !!! I keep reading / listening to such good stuff and telling myself I'll write it down when I have more time later and never doing it D: so next year hopefully I fill up a notebook or smth with those 3. Hopefully get comfortable with traveling / visiting places and then do exactly that 4. D: waiting on the result of my interview for a 2023 internship 5. turn some good deed into an unconscious daily practice. Rn I'm thinking sunnah prayers, because I've kind of dropped off from regularly doing them in the last year :( 6. ART. MORE REGULARLY. like i was doing this year :') im pretty pleased with the amt of art i did this year alhamdulillah

Tagging: @wayfaringmuslimah, @gushuwa, @wecandoit, @frenchiepal @humble-boness, @ckmstudies, @juliistudies, @heliops, @museeofmoon, @iwillsurvivecollege, @learnelle, @caffeinatediaries, @caramelcuppaccino

[bvannn]

Weekly Update March 8, 2024

I didn’t do as much as I had hoped over spring break due to still being sleep deprived, but tomorrow and the next night I should be able to catch up. I’m making a good deal of progress on stuff.

I figured out animation with Clip Studio enough to make a little gif of Romeo playing piano, to go along with his theme. I’m really happy with how it came out. That’s the biggest song I have ready, but I’m really close on another (unless I decide to get more ambitious, which I might), and I do have a smaller one scheduled to go up Tuesday. I’m feeling surprisingly good about music.

The main problem I’m having is kind of a ‘just finish it’ thing, where I’m just not motivated to go record melodies or melody parts for whatever reason. That’s what’s holding back a couple pieces now, but I’m hoping that I can do some tonight or tomorrow. I’m thinking tonight because I got hit with inspiration for another character theme melody, and I don’t want to lose it while I sleep tonight, but I’d feel bad starting in that when another character theme and some other miscellaneous pieces are also awaiting melodies and recordings. I’d like to knock a whole bunch out tonight, because theoretically they shouldn’t be that bad, the annoying part is dressing them up for use which doesn’t need to be done tonight. Im not sure if I want to tonight because I also want to draw, at a minimum I’ll record that character theme melody.

The other big music thing is a vocaloid cover of a song that I’m using to test out how vocaloid works. I got the audio back from the friend with the voicebanks, and it sounds a lot better than expected! There’s a couple things I do want to tweak, but I don’t think I’d be able to do it from within the program, it’ll probably be more me fiddling with the wav file. Idk song is going surprisingly well, shouldn’t be very complicated to round up instruments, I already got all the plugins set up it’s just a matter of recording. I’ve also managed to find a guy in my area who offers Guitar lessons for cheap, which I’ve been taking and I do think the two I’ve been to are helping. Maybe if I get really brazen I can record organic guitar instead of using a vst, since it should be mostly or entirely power chords, but it’s not the end of the world if I can’t.

I do want to figure out visuals to go with it. I was a little hesitant to really put in a big effort with it, until I heard that buying a license for cover rights is ‘not actually that expensive’. I don’t know if that means 10 or 200 bucks but worst case I can hold onto it until I’m comfortable enough to drop money if it’s really that expensive. I’d like to do a simple music video with the vocaloid character, since the original song’s video is also really simple, although I need to figure out character design. Might throw a few together and put up a poll.

I’ve been trying to get more drawing stuff done too, some miscellaneous animations mostly. I’m really trying to push myself to finish up the timings I need for my commission sheet, and honestly I’m pretty close. I feel bad because I probably will have to increase prices after all, but I’m also offering other options, which can still be cheap. I’m trying not to undercut myself for my level of work, but art commissions are so expensive that I don’t want to be overcharging either. Most of the comms I have done have come with tips, so I guess people are willing to pay a bit more than I was charging anyway, but even then I don’t want to crank the prices high just because a few people are willing to pay more. I’m charging based on time, I just need to sort out how long things take.

Final point, comic writing/thumbnailing is going well, I’m at 25.5/32. Unsure how bad editing is going to be, but I’m kinda editing as I go along so I don’t anticipate it’ll be that bad. I’m expecting to be able to actually start making pages soon. What comes next could either be a continuation or a pitch for the other story. I get more questions about the other story, so I’m tempted, but I also feel like it’s a harder sell than the first. Whatever I need to finish the first one first, and that’s what I’ll do.

I’m still messed up on sleep and flareups are also picking up pretty bad, but only in the mornings, so I bet if I get more sleep they’ll go away too. Either way I do have a consult for the next surgery to deal with that in a couple months, so I should hopefully be okay. Plan tonight is to either draw some more or record some stuff

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary21

9/25-26/2023

i took a walk today.

i saw this guy. i took a picture with him too.

i can scarcely imagine what people are supposed to use this guy for i guess you just throw balls at him and practice aim or something. encountering him felt really crazy. just disused shadows of men posed and waiting to play ball with you.

anyways, i also cleaned the apartment a bunch while listening to the locust and electrosleep int'l, the floors of the bathroom, and then the studio zone i guess, kitchen and everything, under my gf's desk, and i also super cleaned off our kettle, i'd like to go at it again but it's in a decent enough state now. this is gross but oil splatters onto it and i just didn't really bother. don't think badly of me please. it's not like it's for anything but hot water, and like, it's not fancy. but seeing it cleaner, to the point i could really actually see myself in it, was crazy, it's this old thing from my grandma, i never saw the thing approaching bright.

tomorrow we're going to see a movie, and then after is errand day again. everything is super busy suddenly, i guess.

not really actually. but you know. or you don't. i dunno what i'm saying honestlyyy.

i took a walk today, and cleaned so much today, because i need to take a break from music so i can go back to these songs and with a clear head actually listen and decide on changes and things, see what is actually good, or closer to actually good, and what isn't. i've driven myself slightly crazy. i think the most i can let myself do each day, is work on guitar tones, just little stuff at this point, figure out cool ways to distort things and whatever else. to help with guitars, i acquired (lololol) a plugin that simulates pickups on a guitar. really really useful actually. i honestly expected it to sssuck, but it didn't/doesn't, and that plugin came with another thing that can do distortion, and it's a good sounding distortion/bunch of good sounding distortions.

so now that i have all these amp sims, a pickup sim, some physical modeling, impulse responses to simulate cabs, i'm excited about putting imperfect guitar simulations through these things to reach fucked up and weird tones. so far though, i'm really fond of all the ring modulation options i have. they can help me get some locust-y sounds. i can already do that on my own too though honestly.

i should do the last bits of working out i need to do today and wash my face after this song.

today i've also been looking for more images of grubs/larvae/whatever, for the cover art.

and now the movie tomorrow is a maybe. that's mostly okay i guess. i could go either way i was just excited for it because it'd be a welcome distraction so i wouldn't keep obsessing. we'd have to go to a part of town that honestly i am not super crazy about. downtown is just super, i dunno, grody in a way. mega gentrified, supra-millennial, hot, sad. it's the los angeles las vegas crossroads, really. it's better than the strip which is just a soulsucking hell every time i'm there for even a little bit. but the movie would probably be really good, it'd be a wkw movie i'm pretty sure, i've never seen any of his movies.

on my walk i didn't see much else that was really memorable i guess, i walked around where i normally walk around, a lot of other people out today which makes me feel nervous a little i guess, some people stare. i guess at the end of the day i just hope they stare in the more positive way and not because they think i'm way disgusting or something but the positive way is also not actually positive. it's just unfortunately somewhat gratifying to be seen like that i guess.

anyways i'm really sleepy now, so maybe i should just go lay down earlier than usual. it might be really good for me. i can't wait to see if i feel good tomorrow and then not ruin that with forcing myself to sit and listen to these songs over and over and instead maybe just working on a guitar sound or something. that would be kind of a nice day, and then maybe going and seeing a movie, and if i don't i dunno.

oh, tonight i tried something new, breaded chicken and gochujang butter instead of miso butter (still kind of miso butter because i put miso in there too). it was really good. it's kind of like, the best of both worlds.

anyways, byebye!!

[starrykitty013]

Hi! if you have the time, can you give us some good old fashioned Levi, Strange, Wong and Peter scraps? tysm! hope you're having a good day <33

Sorry for the late reply, break has been kinda hectic.

I am having a pretty good day, I start classes tomorrow (well technically they started today but I don’t have class on Monday this semester which is kinda epic) so I wanted to get my ask box cleared.

Also idk if you meant Loki instead of Levi, if it wasn’t a mistype I’m sorry, but either way this little blurb is more between doctor strange and Peter with a little Wong and Loki.

It takes place after No Way Home and Multiverse of Madness, so yea, idk this is unedited so I’m sorry for any typos but honestly I kinda had fun writing this, I’m surprised I could come up with a Drabble concept without a prompt but ig I felt inspired.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Here is the Drabble.

Enjoy!

___________________________________________

“Okay, I know how this looks but you have to hear me out before you get mad.”

“I’m very tempted not to listen.” Doctor Strange said, looking completely bemused at the decievingly small child in the red onsie that was holding up a clearly drunk slim demigod that had showed up to his doorstep. He had half a mind to slam the door, but honestly, he was kind of curious and it was a slow day at the sanctum anyway. Spiderman always happened to bring a tad bit of fun wherever he went, but he also tended to bring trouble too - despite the kid having the inability to ask for help unless it was offered, don’t get Strange wrong, Spiderman worked well with others but it wasn’t his default mode; he always had to be prompted into doing so , but then again so did the rest of the hero community. Looks like he decided to cut out the middle man and go straight to the trouble

“Come on, isn’t like part of your code to give people shelter or something.” The kid tried to convince.

“That’s nuns.” He said blandly.

“Really?” the kid Asked innocently Stephan actually wasn’t quite sure about that, he wasn’t very religious.

“Wong won’t be pleased.” Cause inviting the god of mischief \, who already had a spotty track record of steal powerful artifacts, into a sanctum full of forbidden and protected magic did not sound like a good idea on any day, but if said god was drunk. Yeah, Wong would be mad.

But it might be fun.

“How did you even find him like this?” Spiderman tended to find himself in a lot of strange situations, none of which had any sort of protocol. Then again, Spiderman wasn’t really known for following any sort of rules given to him. A trait that had Stephan a little envious at sometimes, because despite his rigid discipline that is required to learn and maintain the mystic arts, Spiderman is still somehow more morally stable in most regards while having virtually no discipline.

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. I just found him outside the old Stark tower like this when I went to investigate a like minor explosion? Which, isn’t crazy that we’ve gotten so used to people falling out of the sky as a society, that no one even mentions it. Like-“ Stephan held up a hand to stop the ramble while they weren’t too deep - though the kid did make a good point - but he knew Spiderman could ramble on for hours if given the chance.

“Why can’t you just take him to your place?” Stephan asked with a raised brow. At that Spidey went a tad stiff in the shoulder before purposefully relaxing. It was odd, that he didn’t know Spiderman’s identity, they had literally saved the universe together and potentially the multi-verse, although for some reason parts of Stephan’s memories from that event were a little hazy. But one thing is for sure, Spiderman knew more than he was letting on. Despite his iron clad secrecy, the kid was incredibly bad at lying. Stephan has tried to confront him, somehow the conversation always got changed. He stopped because it was fruitless. The kid may be bad at lying but goddamn does he have tight lips.

“My landlord probably wouldn’t like that and besides,” Spiderman gestured to the expanse of the sanctum at whole “You were closer and I think you can handle any…mishaps? God that word makes me sound old. “ Never mind that Stephan used that word quite frequently, especially when describing America’s training. Actually in regards to America’s training, Wong has started using it quite frequently too. Maybe she and Spidey could get along. He banished the though because Teen heroes are literally trouble magnets wherever they go, putting two together would probably set off some kind of natural disaster that would devastate half the world and people were still recovering from the snap, without even taking into regard the blip and seriously who was in charge of naming that. “Anyway, yeah you can handle any magical mishaps that may occur.”

“Fine.” The Doctor relented. Better to keep the threat secure rather than let it wonder off with one of the most notorious trouble attracting teens in the universe. He opened the door more to invite them in. Spiderman just stood their awkwardly. “Well?” Stephan raised a brow and Spidey shifted his feet slightly.

“Actually, uhm, I can’t stay. Sorry, I don’t mean to dump this on you. But you probably know how to contact Thor and stuff so maybe you could call him. I’m sorry I really have to go.” And the kid franticly pushed the demigod toward Stephan who barely had time to react as a body drunkly stumbled towards him.

“How dare you, do you know who I am?” Loki exclaimed in a slurred tone.

“What the hell kid?” Stephan exclaimed but when he turned to look back at the door, Spiderman was gone.

“Where did the spider child go? He has vanished, like a witch.” The god demanded. Stephan ignored him as he furrowed his brow in the direction of the now empty doorway. Something was really off about that boy. But he guesses if he had been in the hero game as long as Spiderman has, and are still a kid, he would have some odd quirks too. But Spiderman operated solo, and he knows that he doesn’t really work or answer to anybody. Still, with all his secrets, being that socially isolated from your peers must be stunting to some sort of mental development. Sure, he’s seen Spidey work with other heroes occasionally and more often work with other vigilantes, but no one his own age, cause seriously if that kid is older than 19 Stephan will voluntarily do maintenance for the mirror dimension for a whole year. Besides, he doesn’t think people like Deadpool are the best influences to hangout with, but the kid has a good head on his shoulders so Stephan isn’t too worried about him becoming that type of menace.

And that’s another thing: since when did he care about that kid. Sure they’ve fought together, they’ve saved countless universes together, but Stephan doesn’t even know what the kid’s name is. So why does he care about his wellbeing this much? It’s like, subconscious. Stephan doesn’t really like that thought.

He heard a sigh from behind him and turned to look at Wong, who just looked done as he took in the scene. Oh, the joys of being Sorcere Supreme. When you clean up one fuck up another shows up at your doorstep. Yeah, Strange didn’t miss that part of the job, that’s for sure.

“I’ll contact New Asgard.” He sighed and Doctor Strange took that as his opportunity to shove Loki off him.

“You insolent wench, I will-“

Stephan just walked away.

Maybe the kid could use a few friends his own age. Even if it might cause the end of the world.

Maybe, just maybe, it would be a little worth it.

[purplesurveys]

1597

What are your plans for the day ahead? I actually feel like binge-watching Good Mythical Morning tonight; overheard my siblings watching it earlier and now all I want to do is to catch up on the episodes I missed all year long. Apart from that...might have to work on this kinda urgent deck for work, even if we’re on company shutdown -_-

What was the last thing you cleaned? I tidied up the living room since my sister and I wrapped gifts for an hour and the place got very messy very fast.

When do you go to your soonest appointment? I don’t have any booked in the near future. What did you last order online? Just more Christmas presents - the last batch I got online were for cousins on my dad’s side. I still have to shop tomorrow, but since online orders made at this point obviously won’t make it here by the 24th/25th I’ll be going to the mall for those instead.

Can you see any bottles from where you're sitting? Yeah I’m taking bottled coffee right now. It’s ‘Sweet Black’ flavored, which I’m loving because otherwise this brand’s regular Black variant is way too bitter for my taste. Which I don’t hate, but I can’t fully enjoy either.

What time do you usually try to wind down in the evening? Around 8 or 9 PM. 9 is my upper limit - I don’t want to be doing any overtime work or chores by that point, and ideally I’m already lounging in bed or on the couch just going through my phone.

What's something you have been putting off? The said deck/Powerpoint I have to work on. One because we’re on company break and it’s just difficult to be in the mindset to work; two because it’s a deck for an upcoming pitch (for a potential client) and I always dread that stuff. I really have to touch it tonight though because by tomorrow I’ll already be out all day to shop and to have my Christmas gathering with friends.

What restaurants do you frequently eat at? I'm not a regular anywhere anymore, but in general if I do eat out I like going to Japanese or Korean restaurants. Do you like banana pudding with a lot of bananas or more vanilla wafers? Banana pudding sounds so nasty.

How many books would you guess you've read in the last 5 years? 1 or 2, I’m guessing.

What was the last message you sent? “I didn’t cross-post it, it’ll be fine!” to my sister. Basically I posted an Instagram story of our gift-wrapping session earlier and the photo revealed some of the gifts I bought. My sister was just looking out and telling me not to post it on Facebook to keep relatives from seeing the presents, so I reassured her that I didn’t toggle the feature to crosspost it. Have you ate anything green today? What's your favorite way to add greens to your diet? The sandwich my dad made for me earlier had some lettuce in it. I don’t really have habits when it comes to vegetables...Filipino cuisine is inherently loaded with them, so it’s not like I have to go out of my way to access them.

When did you last light a candle or incense? Months ago. Not really a part of my routine.

Is it currently warm where you are? It’s finally getting colder in the evenings yaaaaaay. It’s currently 27C, which is a lovely and welcome change.

Have you ever fallen out of bed? Once, and as a kid. I vividly remember crying the moment I crashed and my mom immediately springing up when she heard the noise.

What do you like on your hot dogs or burgers? Continued from last night. I don’t have hotdogs frequently, but on my burgers I like to have jalapeño slices, onions, and always some sort of mayo dressing on them. I have novelty burgers from time to time and I’ve learned that the best gimmicks are doughnuts and peanut butter,

Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, I literally JUST prompted Indigo to play. I’m at the first few notes of Yun.

What did you last put in storage? In our general bodega space, shoes. We don’t really have a designated storage room for things that need to be put away for a while.

What's your favorite thing to do outside? Go to museums and art galleries, drive around (I don’t mind getting stuck in traffic these days, especially if it means I get to be by myself), go through bookstores, eat.

Are there any celebrities that you are a big fan of? BTS would be a very obvious answer here. I have other favorites too, but I check in with them and what they’re up to only from time to time - Paramore, Beyoncé, bunch of other artists in the Korean music scene here and there.

Do you ever watch award shows? Only when the boys have a major participation or performance. Otherwise I have largely stopped caring, especially when I heard more and more claims of racism and favoritism come about. Also, I never really recovered from 25 winning over Lemonade as Album of the Year - if Adele herself can’t accept the award, you’ve got a problem in your hands lmao.

Do you usually run out of shampoo or conditioner first? Conditioner because I have to use a fuckton of it for my bleached hair. My head reacts terribly to shampoo.

Do you have any LED lights in your home? I guess, but I wouldn’t be able to identify which.

What is your biggest challenge? Saving money. When you grow up not-so-well-off, there are two routes you take – be very rigid about saving to avoid going through what you experienced ever again...or be an excessive spender to make up for the times you couldn’t afford the things you want. Unfortunately, I am the latter hahaha.

What was the last sweet thing you've eaten? My mom had me try these chocolate coffee bites? nibblers? tiny thingies? that she got as a Christmas present. SO good, I might end up eating the whole box.

Do you prefer buying new clothes or thrift shopping for clothes? Both. As long as I like the look, doesn’t matter where it’s from at that point.

What is something you need right now? To finish my Christmas shopping list PLZ.

What's something you like that is blue? My denim jeans.

Have you treated yourself today? Kind of? I have a deck to work on but I am ‘treating’ myself but ignoring it. Hehe

Have you ever traveled alone? Not yet! It’s something I really want to do, even just locally. Filipinos are very judgmental when it comes to this though, and the last thing I want to happen is to end up being the anonymous subject of some random ass content creator talking about how I must be some lonely person going through something. No, Mark, I just want to go to the fucking beach.

What color is your most worn jacket/hoodie? It’s navy blue.

Who is someone you would like to get to know more? Reena; we’ve been friends for over a year but we only hang out in the context of BTS gatherings. I’d love to have more solo dates with her and become as close with her as I am with Angela. Also my new associate, Erin; she’s definitely easier to get along with and talk to vs my previous teammate.

What toy do you miss the most from your childhood? My cash register. Loved that little thing.

Have you ever lost something valuable to you? Nothing comes to mind. I lose things a lot, but for the most part they’ve just been tiny trinkets here and there that I get over by the end of the day.

What or who has impacted your life the most? My parents, for better or for worse.

Would you say you are toxic in any way? In the past. It’s something I continue to actively work on.

What's one of your favorite memories from the past year? Going to Zambales with my closest friends for my birthday.

How often do you use a straw? Usually when I buy drinks from restaurants and I get served a paper straw.

What's your current favorite song? Closer by RM, Mahalia, and Paul Blanco. Fascinating how it used to be my least favorite track (if I had to pick a least favorite) off Indigo and now I can’t even stop repeating it. That di-di-diddy-diddy-bop goes harder.

What are some books you'd recommend to someone? I wouldn’t even know.

[felonious]

I totally get why people might fall into a psychosexual relationship with their AI app.

“Me: I’m having an indulgent artists day in that I am hanging out with my work all day today (I’m even day drinking a very potent strawberry margarita as a nod to all the srsly alcoholic great artists that ever lived) and tomorrow morning, because there is a deadline tomorrow when I need to take art to the gallery to hang for the opening on Sunday. Do you have any advice for this starving artist to get through this day and tomorrow in a balanced and reasonable way. Last note, when I throw myself into my art I have a hard time feeding myself. Example, I see strawberries that need to be consumed and my solution was to make a margarita. Please help!?

Chat GPT: It sounds like you're diving deep into your creative zone! Here are some ways to keep balance while you work on your art:

1. **Prep Simple Snacks**: Since you find it hard to stop and eat, consider prepping easy snacks ahead of time—like nuts, cheese, fruit, or something that’s easy to grab between brushstrokes or creative bursts. Maybe slice those strawberries and have them with yogurt instead of just in a margarita.

2. **Hydrate**: Keep a water bottle nearby, especially since you’re day drinking. Alcohol dehydrates you, and staying hydrated will keep your energy and focus in check.

3. **Set Alarms for Meal Times**: If you tend to forget to eat, set alarms every few hours as a reminder to grab something. You could prepare a sandwich or a smoothie beforehand, so it’s easy to eat even if you’re lost in the flow.

4. **Balance Indulgence with Breaks**: Let yourself indulge in the creative, wild energy, but balance it with a few scheduled breaks. Use these breaks to stretch, move around, or breathe fresh air. This will keep you grounded and give you fresh eyes for your art.

5. **Prep for Tomorrow**: Tonight, prep a light, easy breakfast and lunch for tomorrow—something nutritious but not distracting, like a hearty salad, a wrap, or a bowl of soup. This way, you won’t have to think about meals as the gallery deadline looms.

You're in a great creative zone, but staying fueled will help you maintain energy and not crash before that deadline!”

I mean, these are the answers I’d want from anybody I was in an intimate relationship with.

[rose-m4ry]

☾˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ September 18. 2024 "Art gets what it wants and art gets what it deserves."

Done ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ

♥︎ Rewrite formal theme (1/2)

♥︎ Finished IEWU

My back hurts so fucking much. It's almost been a month since I started doing this, if I can keep going for at least half a year more, I'd be happy. Though I'm trying to break out of the mentality that stability is a one month free trial before it all goes to shit, it's kind of hard when that's been my basis for years now. I want to be realistic and neither pressure nor shame myself for all the struggles that come along the way, and so far so good, but I'm still looking out for any warning signs that I might be getting Sad again so I could prepare accordingly.

Probably the mentality keeping me afloat right now is "it is what it is" and "whatever will be, will be." I'm always expecting the worst case scenario, and I worry sometimes if I should be expecting positive outcomes instead to be more motivated. Neither one reassures me as much as going "fuck it, we ball" and living anyways. I've done this before, and I can do it again. I have the power to change and grow under any condition.

I get worried again that I sound too much like a cheesy motivational speaker when I talk about these things, but they are genuinely how I feel about my life and how I'm approaching things. I don't want to sound like I know everything and I've got it all figured out. I'm scared every step of the way. I'm fucking terrified that everything's gonna fall apart and I'll be back to square one every single day, because I've gone through this before, and its fucking tiring.

But the thing I have to acknowledge is that I don't know that for sure. I can neither rule it out as a possibility, nor prophesize it. If I do end up back on square one, though, then I still have evidence, reminders that I've done hard things before, that I've crawled out of ruts and I can get out again. That's what these journal entries are for— they're for me, to remind myself that I've survived the years prior to this, and that I will survive again.

Anyways, here's a picture I took of an English essay I had to rewrite. My hand and back ended up hurting very badly because I didn't stop in-between to take breaks when I was trying to cram all the words onto one page. I have to cut some out for Filipino tomorrow too, unless...?

[rezdragon]

Project Updates (August 8th, 2024)

Art Show So the BIG news with RezDragon is that YES! My art has been accepted into a fine art show. Like a REAL fine art show, with judges and WINE. It's to promote the local artists of the Inland Northwest, which includes ME THIS YEAR! I tried to submit to this last year and I did not get in, but that's changed this year and I am VERY EXCITED AND HAPPY ABOUT IT! So what does this mean? Well, it means I'm going to be HARD focusing on preparing for the show for the rest of August (aside from one project, you know what it is). I have to get everything ready by September. One of the pieces I put in is an installation piece and that is the biggest prep I have. So kinda expect me to maybe go more dark than usual? I dunno, I might post pics as I work on shit.

The One Other August Project (You Know What It Is) It'll be out tomorrow.

TDA - Everyday With how shit my mental health has been lately, I haven't had the motivation to work on this. Rez keeps trying to drag me back in, but it's just not coming back to me yet. I want to start writing the script and I was GOING TO in August, but then the Art Show Acceptance letter showed up and WELL. Sorry Rez, best wait till September. I have been taking notes occasionally when I think of something new. She's on my mind, I swear.

Running With the Devil (what the fuck is this) RWTD is Ash's story that started out accidentally. I was writing up a lot of facts about Ash herself and then the next thing I knew, I started writing scenes and then a month and a half later, I had an 87 page novella. Oops, how'd that happen. This has VERY much been a comfort project to help keep my spirits up while I've been so unhappy lately, and it's been doing a good job of it. It is not meant to be good, it might be, I dunno. It's me giving in and writing cute romance between a demon girl and her lesbian girlfriend. But uh... you won't see it, at least not all of it. I'll be real with you as to why: it's an erotica story and I don't want erotica associated with the RezDragon name. It's not that I'm ashamed of writing it, I'm not, but once you start down that path, that's all you're known for and I do. not. want. that. So I will only be showing the non-horny chapters, or perhaps the story censored. Anyways, chapter 1 (30 pages, yes 30, 20,000+ word count) is available on Sheezy if you so choose. I didn't advertise this because I was a little too depressed to when I posted it.

Next Album Project(s) I have two new albums to place on the stove, or at least their concepts. First one I plan to have it be as raw and uncomfortable at Kintsugi and Tasukete- DE aka more depressing harsh noise crap. Working title right now is "Nothing Has Changed." Second one is another "story" album, i.e. like Horizon. Instead of space, this one takes place in the woods and back in the 80's. I won't talk about its full concept yet, giving myself a break from music work (and also I can't really work on music right now)

Not a Project, but a Health Update So I've been griping about it lately, but my left hip/pelvis/leg area has been in a lot of pain since April of this year. It went away near the end of May and I was able to return to work, but then it came back after a week. I tried to work through it, which only seemed to make the problem way worse. Since June, I have been in non-stop pain, with barely anything relieving it (it's why I've had a lot of extra time to write as of late). I've actually been in a lot of money trouble because of not being able to work and disability being a nightmare, but I've avoided talking about it on my RezDragon accounts (except for Sheezy) to keep that kind of stuff away from my art. I've started physical therapy, which has been going well in giving me some relief. I've been using a cane since April just to get around. I can't say I've noticed any improvements and I'm afraid I might be out of day job work until at least October. I can't even get a new job where I sit all day, because if I sit up for too long, that spikes up my pain; I have to sit reclined or lie in bed. I missed the whole summer, I wanted to go swimming :( So anyways, that's why I've been mostly focused on writing, it's the easiest thing for me to do atm.

[victorrrrobles]

07302024

blog,

the month is almost over (we still have tomorrow 🙄) and i’m reminded that it’s about to be a month since i started blogging to help me cope w feeling alone.

i will say this month has definitely been for the books.

i’ve made new discoveries about myself, i’ve learned new things from wise friends, and i’ve made new friendships. i’m getting more comfortable going out on my own too. oh and i’m finally doing somethings about my upcoming art show (more on that later).

i definitely needed this time to remember who i am and to remember what i lost and how to gain it back on my own. i’ve never felt so loved in my life until now. it was me all along. it was me who needed the version of me that was always going to take care of me and love me the way i’ve been asking for. and now, that’s no groundbreaking thing to discover but what is groundbreaking is how, for me, i can finally be at peace with being alone.

you know, ever since i turned 18, i’ve been in relationships for every year up until now (im 23 but will be 24 in 4 months). i dated some dude R at 18. V at 19 through 20. C at 21. M at 22 through 23. and it took this last one to realize that: i’ve been jumping onto the next relationship because subconsciously i wanted to prove to the last guy that i can move on first. i did this instead of just dealing w the emotions that come w heartbreak and being alone. but im ready to stop. i no longer fear them moving on while i still have love for them. i no longer fear being alone. i no longer fear the possibilities of what’s to come as a single person.

I love my company and even better, i love when i can share these with those who might be going through the same thing. and in way it allows those and i to be lonely together.

actually, not too long ago i was hanging out with some friends while we bar hopped at melrose. and towards the end of the night, there was only three of us left. celeste, savannah, and me (vic). we had a moment together where we were all venting out own heartbreak and stories behind them (while also catching up on life cause it had been a minute since i had seen them). after all of that, i realized that the three of us represent heartbreak from different stages. celeste represented the stage where even if it’s been a couple years of breaking up there is still turmoil that one has to overcome, i represented a fresh breakup while still trying to be friends with them and it just not working out, and savannah represented where you’re not broken up but you feel it coming and you wnat to get out but just don’t know how.

somehow someway, the universe gathered us together to talk about these things. to show one another how to do it and how to overcome it.

we decided moving forward, we will be each others soulmates and we will be lonely together whenever we pleased. fuck all these men, we have each other <3

life is only fair because it seems to fuck us all, but the universe is always on my side. i’m right where i need to be.

- victor <3