Chapter 12: Please Say Something
Synopsis: Everything was perfect, or at least you thought it was. What happens when you break up with your 7 boyfriends and have to deal with the aftermath of it all?
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Jungkook had dropped you back at Changkyun's place, wanting to go home and find someone to tag along to the dinner with him. You used the time to take a quick shower and get ready for the night. Flavors wasn't a fine dining restaurant, but it also wasn't a casual one either. Sort of something in between, so you'd opted for a skirt, some tights, and a cute knit sweater, and some booties to go along with it.
"Ready to go?" Changkyun calls from the living room. "Yeah! Let me just grab my coat!" You reply as you quickly grab the coat you'd chosen for the night and your purse.
It doesn't take long for you to get to Flavors, traffic almost non-existent on a Thursday night at 7:45. You walk in, Nari practically jumping out of her seat at the sight of you. "There's my best friend!" She immediately pulls you into a hug before planting a kiss on your bump, causing you to laugh. "That still feels so weird." You greet Hyungwon and Minhyuk who unlike Nari, are patiently waiting their turns.
"Hey sis." Jooheon greets you as you take a seat, planting a kiss on the top of your head. Shownu and Kihyun arrive together, Kihyun having begged Shownu to pick him up because he wanted to get wasted and not have to worry about how he was getting home. "So we're just waiting for your baby daddy and some other ex?" Nari asks, eyes staring at the entrance. You nod just as your phone lights up with a text saying they're here.
You get up, telling your group you'll meet them first. You're nervous, Jungkook didn't mention who he was bringing but you know it's not Yoongi or Jin, the both of them being busy with work for the night. You walk out, waiting near the entrance while you wait for them. You easily spot them, your heart stopping for a moment when your eyes land on the male beside Jungkook.
"Princess! Why are you out here?" Jungkook quickly pulls you into a hug, planting a kiss on the top of your head before crouching down to talk to your belly. "Did you miss daddy?" You let out a giggle when you feel the kicks in response to his question. You hear someone clear their throat before Jungkook is bouncing back up. "Oh yeah. I brought hyung!" Jungkook says as if just remembering the man beside him.
You watch as he awkwardly stands beside him, you're glad to know that he isn't the only one feeling anxious about the whole thing. "Hi Hoseok, thanks for coming and keeping Koo company." He nods and tells you it's no big deal. "Everyone's already here, I can't promise you they won't glare at you or maybe say some passive aggressive stuff, but I'm really glad you're both here. Let's get out of the cold, yeah?"
You make your way back to the table and sure enough, your whole group is trying to pretend they weren't just watching you through the window. You can already see Nari glaring at the two men behind you before they even make it to the table. "Please play nice. We're here to celebrate baby Bun with the people I care about and that's all that matters. Okay? Nar. Cut it out. You too Joo." You glare at the two before motioning for Jungkook and Hoseok to take a seat.
It's tense for awhile, until the waitress comes by to take everyone's drink orders. "Drinks are on me but you're all on your own with your food." Hyungwon informs, causing cheers to erupt from Jooheon, Kihyun and Minhyuk. "I'll cover dinner. Order whatever you want guys." Shownu says as he looks over the menu. "If it's alright Shownu-ssi, let me get the bill? We are celebrating baby Bun right? It's only right if the parents cover the bill." Jungkook speaks up, causing the table to all look his way.
"I think that's a great idea. Let us pay, oppa?" You're turning to the older man, puppy dog eyes and pout already on your face. He lets out a sigh before nodding. "Fine, you know I can't say no when you do all that." He says waving you off. "No one can say no to that face." Changkyun chimes in. "If I wasn't your best friend, I'd honestly hate you for it. But it's gotten us out of trouble so many times, not to mention a lot of free things too, that I just can't." Nari says as she takes a sip of her cocktail. You look up at Jungkook who is already looking at you, a smile on his face. "Thanks." He gives your thigh a soft squeeze before he goes back to looking over the menu.
It's a little awkward in the beginning, everyone not really knowing how to act. You do your best to try and get everyone to connect with each other, trying to include each person in whatever conversation was going on at the moment. It isn't until Jooheon talks about this singer he really wants to work with but they're too busy to collab that Hoseok steps in. "I actually helped choreograph a bunch of his stuff for his last tour and his latest music videos. I have his number, I can put in a good word and give him your number, if you'd like." Jooheon's eyes light up, not expecting his ranting to actually get him anywhere. "Is that alright?" Hoseok reassures him that it is, that little interaction causing your brother to stick to Hoseok like glue.
You're busy talking to Nari who's beside you about one of her upcoming photoshoots and how it's going to take place in Paris and how she's going to miss you. "I'll be here when you get back. We can videochat if that makes you feel better too." She pouts but agrees, she hates going on photoshoots in foreign countries by herself, always trying to get someone to tag along with her.
You announce that you need to use the restroom, Nari choosing to tag along with you. "So? Do we like Hoseok-ssi? I can't hate Jungkook because he's the father of your child and literally is hanging off your every word and is practically stuck to you and you guys do look cute or whatever. But Hoseok-ssi could go both ways." You can't help but laugh at her question, thinking it's funny that you'd have to pick a side and that she'd stand by that choice.
"I'm not going to tell you how to feel about them. I just ask for you guys to be civilized with each other." You finish washing your hands before you're heading back out to your group. You immediately notice Jungkook missing, but so are Jooheon and Changkyun. You look over to Hyungwon who just shrugs his shoulders. "Probably doing that whole protective brother and best friend shtick they do." You let out a sigh before sitting back down. You're not alone for too long when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
You glance up to see Hoseok looking at you. "Can we talk Sunshine?" You can't say you weren't expecting this, so you're not fully caught off guard, but you do feel a bit nervous. You nod before standing. "Hyungwon, can we use your office?" You turn to look at the man who's in deep discussion with Shownu, who just looks up to give you a quick nod before turning back to the older man. "Just don't have sex in there please." You can't help but roll your eyes. "Not happening and also, I'm pregnant." You point at your belly as a reminder. "I had sex with a pregnant woman once and it's definitely top 5." Hyungwon remarks causing the rest of the table to groan and Minhyuk to actually throw a napkin at him.
You look up at Hoseok and signal for him to follow you. You wave at the wait staff as you make your way through the back to where Hyungwon's office is located. You lead him in before you shut the door behind you. You don't turn around immediately, wanting to mentally prepare yourself for the conversation that was about to take place. When you're ready you finally turn around, Hoseok's eyes already on you.
"Hey Sunshine." His eyes soften as he takes you in. "Hi." Your voice comes out in a squeak, having been caught off guard with the way he was looking at you. Unlike the other three that just ignored your existence towards the end of your relationship, Hoseok was mean to you, in the way that every interaction with you seemed like he was being punished, always having a scowl on his face.
Before you can get a word out, he's already stepping towards you. With every step forward, you took a step back, until you had nowhere to go, back meeting the door. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Sunshine. Everything I did to you, you didn't deserve. I was so mad at myself, I figured if I was mean to you that you'd get the hint and leave us. Leave us because we didn't deserve you. I need you to know that my anger was never towards you, I was angry at myself for having stepped out of our relationship when you've always been supporting us. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I want to try. I'm too weak to let you go, I thought if you left us I would eventually get over it, but I realized that's not true. I can't stand being away from you. Please let me make it up to you Sunshine? I'll do whatever you want me to, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, so just please give me another chance?" You're silent for a few minutes, trying to process everything he'd told you. You weren't expecting his word vomit but you're thankful for it.
You watch as he steps back, eyes still trained on you. "Please say something." You notice how unsure he looks, the fear in his eyes that you wouldn't accept his apology evident. "I can't say I'll forgive you right away Hoseok, but I'm open to trying, just like how I told the others. Thank you for the apology. You have no idea how nice it is to hear that I wasn't crazy, that you all knew how hard I was trying until the end and that it wasn't my fault it didn't work out. But I want you to know that you hurt me a lot Hoseok. I know you said your attitude was because you were upset with yourself, but I didn't need to be treated like that, you didn't need to take it out on me. " You feel a few tears escape, quickly wiping them away.
"I know. That was stupid of me to do. But I promise I'll find some way to make it up to you. I want you to know that I made a mistake and I want to own up to it. I want to get you back and I know you're not ready, so I'm willing to wait." You're about to protest, tell him he doesn't need to wait for you, but he's already cutting you off. "Don't try to change my mind." You let out a sigh before nodding. He slowly reaches out for you, an arm wrapping around your shoulder, he gives you time to pull away, when you don't, he brings his other arm around to pull you to him. "I missed you and I'm sorry." He mumbles into your hair as you slowly wrap your arms around him.
After a few moments you pull away. "I missed you too. We should get back out there, Bun is still hungry and I'm sure they're wondering what's taking so long." He smiles at you before holding the door open, letting you lead the way back to your table.
You notice Jungkook and the others back at the table, your eyes meeting his, a questioning look on his face which probably mirrors yours. You take your seat beside him before leaning in to whisper to him, "Do I need to give those two a talk?" He chuckles at your protectiveness before shaking his head. "We're all good Princess. What about you?" You smile before glancing over his shoulder to see Hoseok laughing at something your brother said. "Same here." His smile grows, happy to know that you're okay with Hoseok now.
The night dwindles down, time passing quickly after you'd spoken to Hoseok. The drinks helping to loosen everyone up. You excuse yourself to go to the restroom, but instead you're making a beeline towards your waiter, asking him for the check. "It's already been paid for." You look at him confused before he's pointing to Jungkook and telling you that he had already paid. You turn around to find him grinning at you. You let out a huff before you're making your way back. "We said we'd pay for it." He nods while taking a sip of his drink. "And we did. What's mine is yours Princess." You roll your eyes, a pout on your lips. When did he even have time to sneak away? He reaches over to place a hand on yours before giving it a squeeze. "It's no big deal Princess. This is nothing, okay? Save your money for something else." You let out a sigh before nodding.
You're all standing outside, saying goodbye to everyone, when you feel Bun kicking, probably wanting to say goodbye as well. "Watch this." You turn to whisper to Jungkook before you're walking off towards Hyungwon. "Thanks for letting us celebrate here. Get home safe, okay?" You pull him into a hug, pulling him flush against you. "Ew! No. What?! Get off me!" He quickly untangles himself from your grip while you cackle, clearly enjoying his reaction. Everyone around you breaking into laughter. "You know I hate feeling Bun inside you. No offense Bun." You apologize before saying goodbye to everyone else.
"Let us take you home?" Jungkook offers, Hoseok beside him, the both of them looking intently at you. You turn to look at Changkyun who's watching you a few feet away. "You told me you wanted a late night snack, right? Why don't you go and get it with them." Chan proposes, looking over at Jungkook who's nodding at his words. "Whatever you want Princess! We'll get it." You look back at Chan who's nodding at you, before he's leaving.
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You find yourself at a donut shop that specialized in mochi donuts. You glance around, surprised that you never knew this shop existed, having passed through this area many times before. "Get whatever you want Sunshine." You turn to look at Hoseok who's motioning for you to look at the display case. "Promise you won't tell Jin oppa about this? I already had my allotted number of desserts for today."
Jungkook's laughter rings through your ears. "Your secret's safe with us Princess." You miss the way they smile at each other, too busy looking at all the options. Eventually you settle on three flavors, Hoseok happily paying for your order. They steer you to a table, Jungkook helping you into a seat as Hoseok places your donuts in front of you.
"At this rate Bun's going to end up coming out looking like mochi. I've been eating way too much." You whine but take a bite out of your donut anyway. "And we'll still love him either way Princess, as long as he's healthy." Jungkook says stealing a bite of your donut. "Jungkook-ah! I asked you multiple times if you wanted anything." Hoseok lightly smacks the younger male on the back of his head. Jungkook shrugs, a grin on his face. "I have to watch my weight, I've been eating way too much lately, I just wanted a taste."
The two men just sat and watched you eat, content with just keeping you company. "Do you want a bite?" You offer your donut to Hoseok, who immediately accepts. You finish off a donut, the other two you end up giving to the men who pretended not to want it but after a few moments, are devouring their donuts.
They drop you off at Chan's, both of them stepping out of the car to say their goodbyes. You give Hoseok a quick hug, still feeling a bit awkward from the months of not talking, but you're trying to make amends. You move on to Jungkook who has a big grin on his face, clearly happy that you've accepted another one of his lovers.
"Thanks for inviting me out tonight Princess. I had fun." He says right before he pulls you into a hug, squeezing you as tight as he can while keeping your bump protected. "Thanks for coming and bringing Hoseok along." You reply, giving a quick glance to said man. He tells Bun goodbye, that he'll miss him and to not forget him. You can't help but roll your eyes. "Stop being dramatic. We'll see you guys later." You wave a quick goodbye before you're heading inside.
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Jin had the day off, he had told you that he'd wanted more time to himself, and that's how you found yourself at the grocery store at 9 am with Jin. "Oppa, why do we have to go grocery shopping at 9? I should still be sleeping." You whine as you trail behind him down the aisles. He had a grocery list of everything he thought you'd need and for ingredients of dishes he'd plan to make you throughout the week.
"Sweetheart, you were texting the groupchat at 6 in the morning because Bun had woken you up. And we all know once you wake up, you can't go back to sleep." He says while grabbing some avocados and placing them in a bag. He's not wrong, you had blown up the groupchat in hopes that one of them would be awake to keep you company, sadly, they were all asleep at the time.
You walk through the dairy aisle, Jin making you browse the yogurt selection to pick the ones you wanted. "Are you hungry Sweetheart? I can make you something once we finish grocery shopping." You don't have to think about it, already hungry at the idea of having something made by Jin. "Yes please."
It takes another 20 minutes to finish getting everything on the list before you're heading back to your place, since you're now talking to 4 of your exes, you find yourself spending more time at your house, only going back to Changkyun's to sleep. You tried to help Jin unload the grocery bags but he scolded you and told you to just go and sit down while he unloaded the rest. While you're waiting for him to put the groceries away your phone vibrates.
Since you were meeting with the others for lunch, Jin settled on making you a sandwich. He wanted something quick and easy to make so that you'd have enough time to squeeze in a nap. "Are you sure I can take a nap?" You ask him as you eye him wiping down the counter. "Yes Sweetheart. Just take your nap, I'll wake you up before we have to leave." You let out a sigh but head to the couch. You didn't get enough sleep last night thanks to Bun and you know you'd be cranky later on if you didn't at least try to get a quick nap in.
You wake up to Jin softly shaking you awake. "Come on Sweetheart, let's get you ready to go. It's almost time for us to meet with the others." He helps you up before you go off to get ready. You don't do much, just change into leggings and the hoodie Jungkook had given to you, before throwing on another coat. You walk out of your room to find Jin already waiting for you, keys in hand.
Hoseok had chosen where to eat, claiming that there was a new restaurant he'd heard from one of his clients that everyone was raving about. You let Jin lead you into the restaurant, too busy taking in the atmosphere of the whole place. It was definitely interesting to say the least, if you had to describe it, you would say it had the vibes of Hoseok's dance studio, lots of bright colors and interesting figurines and statues all around.
"Oh! There they are!" You hear a cheery voice call out. You look up to see Hoseok waving you guys over, Yoongi beside him lighting up as well at the sight of you. They both stand up to greet you, giving you both hugs before sitting back down. "This is an interesting place you led us to." You say as you take a seat beside Yoongi, Jin taking the seat next to you. "You'll love it. I promise Sunshine." Hoseok flashes you a smile before sliding a menu towards you.
Yoongi rests his chin on your shoulder to look over the menu in your hands. "You know you have a menu in front of you, right?" You say, eyes scanning the menu in front of you. "Too lazy to flip the pages. This is easier." He mumbles, clearly exhausted. You decide to humor him, you could tell he was tired just from how clingy he was being.
"Did you guys order yet?" A familiar voice asks, a kiss being placed on the top of your head before you even have time to react. "Nope. You're just in time Jungkookie!" Jin says as the younger male goes around the table greeting everyone. "Perfect. I tried to get here as fast as I could." He says while taking a seat between Hoseok and Jin.
Jin clicks his tongue, obviously upset at hearing his youngest boyfriend admit to speeding to meet with all of you. "We wouldn't order without you. You know better." Yoongi says from his spot on your shoulder. You hum in agreement, eyes still scanning the menu, trying to decide on which option you wanted. After a few moments you all decide what you want, Hoseok waving over your waitress so she could take your orders. You don't miss the way she eyes the men at your table or the way she tries to obviously flirt with them. You'd be lying if you said you weren't annoyed but you also know you're not ready for a relationship with any of them either, not like they'd entertain her advances anyway. Poor girl.
Jin hands her the menus without sparing a second glance and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling, the look on her face was priceless, she couldn't believe that all her flirting just got her ignored. While you wait for your orders you listen to the men talk about their day. Jungkook telling you about how Lisa is finally backing off, setting her sights on Bang Chan instead. "I'm glad I could help." You say with a grin.
"So why are you tired Yoongs?" You question, the male now having leaned back into his chair. He tells you all about how he's been so inspired that he just has to either write his ideas down or record them that he hasn't really been able to sleep. You turn to Hoseok, ready to scold him before he stops you. "I know what you're going to say Sunshine, but he just doesn't listen to me. I can't get him out of that studio. I'm surprised he even accepted lunch today." After you, Yoongi was close to Hoseok, so you just expected them to take care of each other, but it seems even Hoseok isn't able to pull him away from his music.
"You know he only came because of Sweetheart." Jin teases which earns a scowl from Yoongi. "You can't worry about my well being if you're not going to take your own advice." You say as the food arrives at your table. Your mouth watering at the smell and sight of the dishes. "You tell him Princess!" Jungkook happily agrees as he swipes a few pieces of meat from Jin's plate. "Yah! You could have just asked! Where are your manners?!" Jin slaps the younger male softly. Hoseok tries to stifle a laugh, obviously enjoying the scene unfolding in front of him.
You look down at your plate to find that Yoongi had snuck some of his food onto yours. You can't help but smile, Yoongi always loved to share his food with you but since you'd gotten pregnant it's been more excessive, always fussing over you and making sure you and baby Bun are full. You silently eat your meal as you enjoy the conversation the four men have with each other, content in just listening to them talk.
It had been so long since you'd been able to sit down with more than just one of them and not feel like an outsider. Sure they had to fill you in on some things, not privy to what goes on in their daily lives since you don't get to see them all the time and texts can only do so much, but it's the first time in a long time where you felt included. "Kitten? Is everything alright?" At that question everyone is turning their attention onto you. Jin already has a tissue, dabbing at your tears.
You hadn't realized you were crying, since you became pregnant, your emotions seemed to always get the better of you. "Sorry. Yes, everything is fine. It must be the hormones." You reply as you take the tissue from Jin's hand and wipe at the tears. "If something's wrong you need to tell us Princess." Jungkook eyes you with concern.
You let out a sigh, knowing that they can see right through you so lying would be out of the question. "I was just thinking how nice it is to be eating a meal with all of you and to be included in your conversations, it's been awhile since I have." You hear Jin inhale sharply, obviously caught off guard, not expecting that to be what's on your mind. "Oh Sunshine. That's —", You wave him off, not wanting to hear him explain himself.
"It's okay. I was just being stupid." Yoongi let's out a grunt, clearly not happy with your response. "You're not stupid Kitten. What we did to you was terrible. You don't have to sugar coat it. We messed up badly and you need to let us know that. You can't keep quiet because you think it'll hurt our feelings or ruin the mood. Make us uncomfortable if you have to, we won't take offense to it. But what you're not going to do is invalidate your feelings to spare us."
Jungkook is nodding along, you can tell he feels the same way as Yoongi. "Honestly, we deserve more. So don't hold back Sweetheart. Let us have it. We need to hear it. We said we'd make it up to you right? So tell us just how badly we messed up, so we know what we need to work on." Hoseok reaches over to give your hand a squeeze. "We mean it Sunshine." A new set of tears begin to roll down your face, to hear them acknowledge how much they hurt you and to encourage you to tell them rather than brushing it aside, it meant a lot to you.
You just nod your head, knowing if you open your mouth you'd most definitely cause a scene and you really didn't want that. They must realize the same thing because they don't say anything else. Rather they all choose to dote on you, Jin feeding you things off his plate (despite your protests), Jungkook ordering you dessert, Yoongi holding your hand, and Hoseok telling you funny stories to get you to laugh. Eventually lunch comes to an end, Hoseok paying for everyone since he claimed it was his idea to invite everyone out.
"So what are you going to do now Princess?" Jungkook questions as you're all standing outside the restaurant, a hand on your bump, hoping to feel Bun. You shrug your shoulders, you didn't have any other plans for the day, Changkyun working and then having to attend a party at night. "I was thinking we could do something? If you're not doing anything with Jin-ah." Hoseok says, looking a little shy.
You hadn't expected him to want to spend time with you. You barely got reacquainted the other day. You look over at Jin who's nodding. "You can go with Hoseokie, Sweetheart. I really just wanted to make sure you had enough groceries and to spend some time with you. Go have fun with him." He encourages you. You agree before you say your goodbyes to the other males, each of them giving you hugs before promising to text in the group chat.
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Hoseok decides to take you to an arcade, claiming he needed to let loose before he had to go back to work. He exchanges some bills for tokens before following you around until you find something that interests you. He raises a brow at you as you ask him for some tokens. "You know I won't go easy on you Sunshine." A grin appears on his lips as he eyes you getting ready. "You're just saying that because you know you'll lose!" You insert the tokens and get into position.
You laugh as he places the puck on the table, eyebrows wiggling as he prepares to hit it with his paddle. You block the puck, hitting it towards the corner hoping that it would bounce back and go into the slot, but unfortunately he blocks it before sending it back your way. You go back and forth for a bit before you accidentally knock the puck into your slot. "I told you I won't go easy on you!" Hoseok says laughing at the pout on your face. You use his moment of distraction to land the puck in his slot. "That's not fair, I wasn't ready!" Hoseoks protests, unamused at your dirty trick.
You play for awhile longer before the timer runs out on the game. Hoseok actually beating you, but only because you were caught off guard every time. That's what you tell yourself anyway. "Cheer up Sunshine, I'm sure you'll be able to beat me in something else." He watches as your pout slowly turns into a smile, happy that he would try to cheer you up.
You walk around for a few moments until your eyes land on the next game, wanting to redeem yourself for your loss. "Are you sure about that Sunshine?" Hoseok questions, eyeing you as you motion for him to get in position. He hands you a few tokens before placing some in his machine. "You know I'm better at this than you are." You reply as you fiddle with the buttons, making selections before the game starts.
As soon as the buzzer sounds, you're already shooting balls into the basket. "How are you so good at this? I know Yoongi taught you but he taught all of us and we're still not as good." He whines as his ball bounces off the rim and rolls back down to him. You just laugh as you make all the shots, your balls going in with ease. "I told you I'm better." You tease. You have to slow down to even give him a fighting chance and even then you still manage to beat him.
"I guess it's better to lose to you than Jungkookie. I was so embarrassed when the worker had to come over and ask him not to cheat." Hoseok face palms at the reminder of what his younger lover did, while you break out into the laughter at the memory. You had to work your charm, flirting with the worker so he wouldn't kick the three of you out and most likely ban Jungkook for a few months. "You were embarrassed? I had to flirt with that poor kid so we wouldn't get banned."
Hoseok let's out a grunt at that reminder, he had forgotten all about that, most likely not wanting to remember on purpose. He recalls being upset at seeing you flirt with another man that wasn't any of his other boyfriends even if he knew you were only doing it for their sake. "I would have rather gotten kicked out and banned for life if I knew you were going to flirt with him." You can't help the way your heart skips a beat or the way the butterflies in your belly went rampant, yes those were butterflies, definitely not Bun.
Hoseok notices the way you go silent, deciding to save you from your thoughts, "What's next Sunshine?" You smile at him, thankful for him saving you from freaking out. Your eyes roam around the arcade before they land on a machine, instantly wanting to watch Hoseok play it. You motion for him to follow along before you're leading him to the machine. His eyes immediately lighting up when he realizes what you want him to play.
"Are you going to join me?" He asks as you stop in front of the machine. "Did you forget about my two left feet? And the fact that I'm 5 months pregnant?" Hoseok let's out a laugh, probably remembering your clumsiness when it comes to dancing. "You're right. We don't want you or Bun to get hurt." You reach out to playfully shove him when you hear the teasing in his tone. "Ha ha. Very funny. Just get to dancing." You pout while motioning to the game in front of you.
He rolls his eyes but inserts a few tokens before selecting a song. You pull out your phone to record him dancing, wanting to send it to the groupchat to share with everyone else.
Once you put your phone away, the smile immediately returns to Hoseok's face. You cheer him on which earns a few chuckles from the man. Once the song ends you watch as the score is tallied and a screen appears announcing a new high score. You both turn to look at each other with shock on your faces. You're not sure why you're surprised, he wasn't one of Korea's most sought out choreographers for nothing.
"What do you want to play next?" Your eyes look around, trying to spot the next game to play when your eyes land on a specific one. "That one!" You point at it before leading the both of you to it. Hoseok laughs when he sees the reason you'd wanted to play it. It was one of those claw machines filled with plushies, he remembers just how much you enjoyed when they would win you plushies from claw machines and amusement park games.
"Do you want to give it a shot, Sunshine?" You immediately shake your head, standing to the side so he can get in position. "And which one do you want me to win for you?" You don't need a second to think, eyes already set on the plushie in front of you. "The purple one with the heart shaped nose!" He nods before inserting a few tokens, waiting for the machine to start. It takes a few tries but he finally wins it for you. You thank him as you hug it to your chest, eyes already set on finding another game to play.
You're getting ready to walk away before he's pulling you back towards him. "Hold on, I want to win another one." You tilt your head in question but he just ignores you. It takes him a couple of tries before he wins another one. He holds it out to you, a pink bunny with thick eyebrows and long ears, one of them bent. "For Bun." Your heart warms at the sentiment. You thank him before giving him a quick hug, off to find the next game to play.
I'm literally the worst. I've been so lazy to update here lmao. I'll try to upload a few more of the chapters here before I upload a new chapter to ao3. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter!
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broken | c.s (06)
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pairing: choi san x reader
word count: 8.6k
warning: suggestive, idk what else but do lmk if i missed sum!
"so, want to play a few frames?" jongho asks.
though you considered the idea, you still weren't one-hundred percent sure about this 'double date', having told yuna you still needed some time, but she managed to drag you to the local bowling alley, squeezing you into the tightest dress she owns.
it feels like you're being suffocated because not is it only incredibly tight, but also a size too small.
"we could, but, i've never played before."
"oh, thank goodness," he says in relief, "me neither. but you know, protocols and whatnot."
a nervous smile emerges from him and you giggle in response, attention quickly batting to yuna and minhyuk by one of the lanes all flirty smiles and heart eyes, trying to act like they're interested in the game but you know it's the last thing on their mind.
when you first saw minhyuk, his sharp eyes and prominent features were the first thing you noticed.
he's handsome, in an overly intimidating way that probably has fathers pointing fingers and telling their daughters this is the kind of guy they need to stray far from.
which is why you expected his friend to be equally as alarming, only for the softest looking boy you've ever seen to pop out from behind him in parted black hair and puppy-like visual.
he's also an entire grade younger than you.
"you have a boyfriend, or?" his sudden question catching you offguard, unable to help the laughter that slips off.
"i don't," you reply casually. it might be because he's younger that allows for you to relax a little and not feel so tense around someone new and unfamiliar.
"ah, okay. just trying to minimize the risks of possibly getting a black eye, if i, by any chance, happen to hit on you."
another laughter pours at the silly comment.
"if i had a boyfriend, i wouldn't be here."
"oh, true. in that case, i hope you're ready to hear all the bad pick-up lines i've been waiting to use."
you roll your eyes, trying the very best to reframe from breaking out into an amused smile at the boy's attempt. the stark contrast to the one you're used to, because it's so innocent and it doesn't make you feel a little sick afterward.
his silly antics continues to entertain you, a giggle finally leaving along with a big smile plastered on your lips, you wouldn't even think of the possibility of someone watching a little too closely.
but san having arrived long enough to catch the exchange and occupying a booth far in the back, leans into the ear of the girl he came with, spewing a combination of words that brings out a smirk in her before really excusing himself.
"ok, you tell me which one sounds lamer--" jongho is rambling on when a figure comes into his peripheral vision, pausing midway to glare out of curiosity, one eyebrow raising at the person standing before him.
"san? you asshole, is that you?"
your breathing cuts short, head turning around so fast at the name that makes your heartbeat multiply. because it couldn't possibly be your san, right?
but lo and behold, there he is in all flesh and bones--it's those lips you kissed a couple days ago, and he's perfect just as you remember, going on to take a seat beside jongho while nudging him playfully to make space.
"i knew it was this fucker as soon as i stepped foot into the place," san says, a smile too warm on his lips.
jongho snickers and scoots over a little.
"what gave it away? my incredibly handsome look?"
san returns a snicker but with more edge. "the violence i suddenly felt at seeing your annoying face."
"real funny, choi number one. considering you came all the way over here, i'd say you even missed me a little."
"wrong. i came here for y/n."
the way your smile drops from their small banter when san immediately looks your direction is not even funny.
you want to comment on what a small world it is, that your blind date happens to know san, but the only thing that comes out is you in a stuttering mess and muttering out such a rhetorical question.
"y-you guys know each other?" stupid. of course they do.
san looks like he's going to say something but the younger boy beats him to it.
"he attended the same high school."
"right," san adds, "and jongho here, had a thing for playing hero and making my life all more difficult."
jongho chuckles it off and leans back, crossing his arms.
"i was on the school committee. i mean, i still am," he states almost too proudly, "and i was the one who busted this asshole for vaping on school ground."
san quirks his lips to the side with a shrug.
"student life was stressful," is all he says.
"yeah yeah. and somehow i became choi number two just because he's older."
"also because you're a little bitch that got me put on community service my last year of high school. an enemy situation throughout."
jongho stands back up to straighten his posture.
"i object. more like a little enemies turned friends, no? i think we got along fine during the last few weeks of school."
"that's only because i was tolerating your ass and school was ending."
a scoff accompanies jongho as he turns to you.
"somewhere in that cold heart of his, i know he has a soft spot for me." he smiles and you can't help but giggle, missing the way san quickly scans the amount of skin you're showing, along with the kind of dress he thinks you should wear more often.
"so, from what i'm hearing, we're all acquaintances here?" jongho continues.
san has to pry his eyes away while yours shoot to him when he hums out a low note in response.
"well, maybe you and y/n are. but i'm sure i mean more to her than that."
he delivers you a look, something so playful but with a hidden mystery to them that is all more attractive because of a smirk at the corner of his lips.
you don't know what all of it means but he just might be trying to get the upper hand against the younger boy who's even more clueless than you are.
"definitely not her boyfriend, at least. she told me she doesn't have one."
a light pink blush crawls onto your cheeks, growing shy from something that is as a matter of factly, true; having only made it known not even that long ago to said boy.
san chuckles at the sight, the smirk that was there before turning into an amused smile that's just a little addicted to the flush on your face.
"oh, did she now?" he mumbles; an edge to his voice the same time his lips quirk to the side so handsomely.
but jongho doesn't miss a single thing. not the look in san's eyes--a familiar one he's seen far too many times, and definitely not the lovesick symptom on your cheeks.
"you sly mother fucker," he hisses, shaking his head.
"you see, y/n. this is the kind of guy you stay away from."
san laughs, dimissing the boy's remark and playing it off as something lighthearted though it was said with just the smallest kind of cautious undertone like a warning.
"while guys like minhyuk, they might look like they got some shady shit going on, but let me tell you, that guy donates to the animal shelters a few times a year."
you swipe another glance at your roommate and her date from the comment, a smile so wide on minhyuk's face when yuna scores a strike.
"pfft," san blows with a faint eye roll, you turning back to stare at the two in front. "and what kind of guy would you be?" sarcasm in his delivery.
jongho sneers, a confident smile on his expression.
"exactly the kind y/n over here would love to get to know."
san laughs loud and amused, the sound so harmonious to your ear, you wouldn't mind hearing it every single day if given the chance.
your stomach still flutters a little at jongho's words, the silliness that was present before seemingly fading out replaced by a more stern tone that overtakes him.
"i'm sure y/n doesn't date little kids," san snarks, a smirk on him from beating down the younger boy.
"only a couple more months and i'll be of legal age, i'm sure she doesn't mind the wait."
the snicker that escapes you can't be helped, flattered by his attempts but still unable to take him seriously just because he's younger and might just be doing it to piss san off.
"and when is that, if you don't mind me asking," you bring up, genuinely wanting to know and not just because you'll wait for him.
"october the 12th!"
"ah," you softly mumble. "i'll be sure to write it down."
jongho looks to be in awe, haven't really thought that you would take it so literally.
"really?"
you nod, a thin smile drawing on your lips.
"in that case, i should ask for yours, too. when is your birthday, y/n?"
san watches the exchange the entire time with intrigued ears and eyes, at first annoyed by the younger boy who always know how to ruffle a few feathers, but what takes his breath away is how relaxed you are when conversing with jongho.
a side of you he's only seen when you're with your friends; something more lively and carefree, a complete contrast to how tense you always are around him.
but when jongho asks that question, it's the sinking realization that he doesn't know it, too. not just your birthday, but also anything else about you besides your body.
he doesn't remember a single time he's asked you any questions if it wasn't for his own personal benefits.
so why, why the fuck is he suddenly having this crisis and mulling over not knowing enough about you just because you're nosy and want to know more about him. especially when it's something so small and stupid like birthdays.
even when you tell jongho with such a shy smile on your face, uttering the month and day, he knows it will fly over his head later. he's never been good at remembering these kind of things anyways.
"i am going to be sure to remember it!" jongho states with determination, san being unfazed and knowing for sure the boy will because if there's one thing to know about him, it's that he has an annoyingly good memory.
"but say, y/n, you're having a birthday party, would you rather it be at the park or at your grandparents' house?"
"now, why the fuck would you do it at your grandparents' house?" san finally speaks up, his comment earning a low chuckle from you.
jongho groans in agreement. "that's what i told my mom!"
"i guess i'm with the both of you," you say softly, "though i probably don't have the best judgment. i-i don't really celebrate birthdays."
jongho's eyes stills as they keep open, the atmosphere dropping silent until he subtly starts talking again, "oh? how come?"
you never even knew birthdays were deemed such a special occasion; it being celebrated with friends and families all around, happy for that one day that you grow a year older.
the only birthdays you knew of wasn't anything special at all.
it wasn't until mingi invited you to a party of his that freshman year of high school that you learned birthdays aren't supposed to be spent in the small space of your tiny room alone, or trying to guess which parent you'll end up being shipped to next year.
"just something my family never did much, i guess," you simplify, and jongho nods along with an understanding hum.
"they're really not all that," san chips in, both yours and jongho's heads snapping his direction. "waste of money and time."
jongho takes offense, his expression twisting in response.
"okay there, edgelord. someone obviously never got invited to birthday parties as a kid."
"like hell i'd go," san snarks.
jongho rolls his eyes and moves his focus back to you.
"anyways. i will be taking the college entrance exam later this year, and if i don't get into yonsei, you just might see me around after i become of age," he announces somewhat jokingly but with the smallest chance that he means it.
san's husky and unbelievable laughter bursts from beside him, wanting to roll his eyes all the way to the back of his head, knowing the younger boy is playing it up.
"isn't it past your curfew," he remarks, totally out of topic but just eager to take a jab at the innapropriateness of it all considering jongho's age.
jongho furrows his eyebrows and actually checks his phone, an annoyed look on him once he registers the blow.
"you liar. it's only nine."
san scoffs, a little satisfied smirk at the corner of his lips.
"my curfew is at ten, i will tell you!"
the boys continues to make small, harmless insults to one up one another while you watch on the side, officially becoming a third wheel but the sight is too endearing for a subtle smile to not crack.
eventually, you have to use the restroom; sparing one last glance at yuna before excusing yourself to ask one of the workers.
this one is a little bigger; a few stalls at least and has two sinks. but while washing your hands, all you're able to think about is san back there and how it was the most you've gotten to know about him without having to ask.
maybe it's the magic of jongho and his more childish, laidback persona that allowed for not just you, but san as well, to show a more playful side of him. nothing like the man you've become accustomed to who's a little more calculating in his nature.
having watched as he fooled with the younger boy, wrestling and tickling him with a certain competitiveness that brings out a cute giggle that makes him look so approachable, exactly the kind of guy you think your aunt and uncle would approve of.
from a mere glance, no one would be able to tell this is the guy currently breaking your heart; the one having planted so many doubts in your head, he doesn't even bother to call or text anymore after having made clear what this is between you and him.
because unless you seek him out first, you won't hear from him. and it's been three days since the last time you were at his place, breathing underneath him and feeling so much pleasure, only to regret it later, swearing on your life this is the worst feeling ever and you're not sure if you can do it again.
you just didn't think, especially during a time where you're supposed to be forgetting about him--your face full of makeup products you usually wouldn't wear and a dress too tight hugging your body, that he'd show up so handsome and charming; all kinds of reminder why you returned the two times before and why it won't be the last.
about ready to go back, you're only a few inches out the door when a pair of hand latches onto your shoulders, pushing you back in against the counter, your eyes looking up into the one person capable of cornering you like this.
"hey," san utters, a coy smile on his lips as his hands releases from your shoulders and settles on the counter, trapping you inbetween.
you tense up a little, shifting in your spot and managing to reply through your trembling voice.
"h-hey."
he quirks an eyebrow before a smaller laughter bubbles out, one hand going to move the strands covering your eyes the way he always does.
"what's the matter? i haven't seen you in three days." his chest relaxes a little and his shoulders drop, inching even closer to you.
it's like once he really got that out of the way, everything starts leaking to the surface as well. everything about who this man really is and how he's nothing alike to the sweet, considerate boy you bumped into back at the party who helped you.
it's an awful discovery.
but what's worse is whenever you look at him, beyond his exterior and closed-off nature, you think there's a person underneath that you would love to know.
someone who has a story of his own; a story you would love to listen to if given the chance.
but that's always been your downfall. because when you love, you love hard. and maybe you didn't completely love junseo, but when someone is yours and you're theirs, you give them your entire heart.
and someone like san, someone so unattainable with his coy eyes and dimply smiles that always turn you a few shade redder, you think it would be nice if he was yours and you were his... because you would undoubtly love him wholeheartedly.
"i was busy," you tell him, swallowing down the pit that is both nervous but excited at whatever's about to come.
"that's fine," he dismisses it along with a low buzz under his breath, eyes quick to drool over the amount of exposed skin he's been dying to touch all night.
he's never seen you in this kind of outfit before. you were usually covered in three layers of clothing that was always annoying to take off.
"how did you know it was me?" you ask, playing dumb to the sight of his bottom lip in between his teeth.
he has to rip his attention away to meet your stoic eyes at the question, murmuring, "huh?"
"you told jongho you came over because of me, or was that--" a lie, too?
"--no, no, beautiful." he shakes his head, both hands caressing over your cheeks. "of course i was telling the truth. i knew from the hair and from the mole on your right shoulder."
san might not know a lot of things about you. not even the basics of your favorite movie or your dream, and he's not even sure if he remembers your birthday although you just told them not even that long ago, but he knows your body and all the ins and outs of it.
how your lips taste like, how pretty your boobs are, and how exactly to get you to cum. he knows all the faces you make during sex, and what to say and how to say it just so he can see that color on your cheeks that he likes a little too much.
and he definitely could spot that soft, silky texture of hair that had a big likelihood of it being yours.
he was only maybe seventy-percent confident at first, but the closer he got to the table, catching that mole on your shoulder he's gotten used to seeing, he knew it was you for sure.
"oh..." you say defeatedly, unable to wrap your head around the fact that san can actually recall something about you.
"what's wrong? you're not actually thinking about waiting for jongho and disappointed that i showed?"
your lips forms a pout, shaking your head.
"no. it's not that."
he chuckles, always having enjoyed backing you into a corner as if that's ever been hard to do.
"good. because he already left. his mommy called."
"oh..."
"yeah," he repeats, a tone so satisfied about the fact he's the only person for you at the moment. no chances of anyone else stealing your attention away; not even a pestering high schooler who lives to annoy him but also has the possibility of developing the smallest crush on you.
one of his hands suddenly snakes to your hip, settling on it with a light squeeze that makes you jolt up; the closer he leans in, the more your back presses against the edge of the counter.
"you look so fucking hot like this," he hisses, eyes once again unashamedly checking you out.
"it's yuna's dress."
"well, you should wear yuna's dresses more often."
his hand at your hip fumbles with the material, bottom lip caught in between his teeth again when it comes over just how perfect it fits over your figure.
silence eats up the air until he looks up and catches your gaze in his, staring at him like you're just waiting to be wrecked the same way he's always done it. a smirk crawls onto him and with one lift of your chin, you're both kissing and making out like it'll be the last time.
your arms are thrown around his neck immediately, and he's come to love the fact that you're starting to strip away that shy, hesitated act the more these sessions happen.
his hands that were on your hips are now all over your body as he nearly backs your head into the mirror, barely able to plant a kiss on your jawline when the sound of distant footsteps outside pries him away, staring into your horrified eyes at the thought of being caught in this position.
he shushes you, index finger to his lips and drags you away to the nearest stall, his back against the door and you breathing hard on his chest.
a pair of female voices echoes through the room, a conversation you don't really catch because your waist is wrapped around by one of san's arms while his other one travels down the bare of your skin, landing on your ass and squeezing it with a sadistic smirk on his lips.
you would've yelped if not for the current situation, in turn settling for a soft push to his chest that brings out that smile you so much despise because you hate how adorable it is and how dangerous it is on a man like san.
all you hear is the sink running and a few pops like something opening, maybe to reapply their makeups but is it drowned out by san's lips on yours and you at first unsure about making out in a restroom stall, but soon enough, you're gripping at his shirt and forgetting about all consequences.
you don't even realize the two are gone until san pulls away and the quietness of it all confirms it's only you and him again.
"let's take it back to the dorm?"
and you would've impulsively said yes, if not for your conscious serving as a reminder of the existence of your roommate who you came with.
"i want to, but, i came with yuna..."
"i'm sure she'll understand."
you used jongho as an excuse; your partner having gone home and all leaving there nothing to do. yuna didn't seem to mind, head occupied and infatuated with her date.
as soon as you're both off the elevator, his lips is on yours and your hands are running through his black hair, grateful for the late hours that has less students running around the building.
because it would truly be shameful if someone is to catch you two in this state, so high drunk off of lust, the key in your hold struggling to fit from your shaken hand.
but once you get it to open, you're both in immediately and the door behind is slammed shut, your back already touching the sheet of your bed and he's hovering on top once again diving down to kiss you.
his hand is fast to make an appearance under the skirt of your dress, kneading the soft skin of your thighs and traveling to the top of your underwear. you made sure to wear one alike to safety shorts.
while he works your undergarment, you pull at his shirt that rides up his toned abs, but you only make it about halfway before a sound in the pocket of his pants go off.
he ignores it the first time, but then comes the second.
a groan loosely escapes the tip of his tongue, having to break the kiss to stand on his knees, one hand rummaging his pockets.
you sit up with elbows planting the mattress and watch as his once annoyed expression dissipates at whatever is on the screen, his eyes even swelling a bit.
clearing his throat and shoving it back where he got it from, you can sense the change of demeanor, his body language giving away that he now wants to be out of here.
climbing off your bed as you stare with a disappointed sadness in your eyes, he finally speaks the dreaded words.
"hey, beautiful, i uhm... i gotta go." he awkwardly fidgets in his spot when telling you that, looking so out of place.
"oh..." you voice lowly, sitting up and scooting until your legs are hanging off the side of the bed, not bothering to hide the disappointment.
he attempts to put on a smile; try to make all of this hurt a little less, walking forward and placing a kiss on your forehead.
"i'll call you."
and when he leaves, you don't feel any better or any worse. the feeling is always the same; a deep hollow pain in your chest that makes you feel like an empty shell of a person.
why do you keep subjecting yourself to this kind of treatment? a part of you aware to the great possibility that the only reason he asked to come to your place was for this exact reason.
saying he has to go or that something came up is easier to lie about than straight kicking you out. and someone like san always know how to play his cards so he can lessen the blow.
so perhaps it's his adorable smile; the way your heart always flutter at the sight of him, and whenever he talks, you want to listen to him forever.
that stupid ounce of hope you so foolishly hang onto, wishing one day he'll come around because you're even more stupid to have faith in him.
facts about choi san.
1. birthday: july 10th
2. favorite color: purple
3. major cat lover
4. deathly afraid of bugs
5. was on community service senior year of high school
when san called earlier, asking if you can come to his place some time in the late morning, you know it's a bad idea.
you have already set a time and place to meet with yeosang at noon because the second exam is approaching fast, and shortly after, you have to leave for work, your schedule having been moved up the one weekday you don't have any class because your supervisor wants you to experience an actual classroom setting instead of the after school kids you've been watching.
the job proved to be a lot more than just being a teacher's aide, granted you told them you couldn't really work mornings because of being a college student and all.
but you haven't seen him since that night, and his promise of calling having came true filling you with that temporary feeling of joy and excitement, convincing yourself it doesn't hurt to see him for a bit as you rush over to his place.
but when you arrive at the scene, the new sight of his door left slightly opened along with what sounds like feet shuffling around tells you you're not going to get to see san today.
"no, because you're literally always fucking like this!"
you flinch at the sudden high volume of a voice you recognize as it fills san's apartment.
"you bring your shit into my house and i'm always the one who has to clean it up."
and though you've only met him a few times, you know it belongs to wooyoung.
"well, how was i supposed to know that she's friends with yunho and mingi and that you would end up liking them so much?"
the sink in your chest is heavy and the beating of your heart is loud; it's an awful revelation that the topic of conversation is... you.
"you don't. no matter who she's friends with or related to, you don't look at someone and think they're the next pretty little thing you're going to ruin."
you listen in closely, a silence that gauges the air making your breath catch inside your throat at the suspense.
you know it's wrong, but turning back doesn't seem to be much of an option especially when it's about you. it's only a given you'd be nosy.
following the silence is a heaved sigh before there's another round of feet walking in place.
"i don't know what you want me to do? if she didn't want it as well, i wouldn't be doing it."
it's san's voice, shortly followed by a sarcastic, dry laughter from wooyoung.
"that's what you always say, choi. that it's their fault; they knew what they were getting into, when you know damn well what you're fucking doing."
he pauses to catch his breath, not done just yet.
"so either get your shit sorted or stop messing with the girl because the last thing i want is a room full of death stares and resentment because my friend is a grade a asshole. i did this shit for you in high school but i'm starting to get real tired of it."
you don't get the chance to process the whirls of emotion attacking all at once, the direction of the footsteps sounding like they're headed for the door and you just assume the worst--that it's wooyoung leaving, scuttling away before you can be seen.
~
when you return to the dorm, the first thing you do is text san with an excuse that something came up. you wouldn't tell him you overheard a conversation that makes you sick to the stomach, so many conflicted thoughts running loose.
surely wooyoung would have suspected something (it's not like you guys were that good at hiding it), but you're also not close to him like that, which leads you to believe the outburst had more to do with yunho and mingi than you.
"well, how was i supposed to know that she's friends with yunho and mingi and that you would end up liking them so much?"
and you're not sure what's worse; having one of your friends tattletale to wooyoung to get san off your back, or that one (if not both) of them knew this whole time.
all those excuses and attempts at being discreet probably looked pathetic to whoever knew it was just so you can fall into the arms of a boy who doesn't care for you in the slightest; who lies to your face and messes with your head.
"i don't know what you want me to do? if she didn't want it as well, i wouldn't be doing it."
~
you're still not in a good headspace by the time you have to meet yeosang, which is literally just an hour after you were supposed to be seeing san.
he's in the far back of the cafe, eyes and nose stuck to a textbook and looking like he's absolutely going to ace this upcoming test.
you on the other hand, is absolutely pissed off your mind the more you keep lingering on it, coupled with the fact that there wasn't even enough time to actually get over it beforehand.
but why couldn't they just talk it out with you first? why did it have to jump straight into telling wooyoung about your business?
and also why the fuck are you not more upset at san? you should be. you need to be. it's evident he planned it all from the start and never really had any good intentions with you.
it's funny how you found all of this out while at his doorstep; maybe the only good thing to have came from it is you didn't end up in his bed (today at least).
but you suppose san being a walking red flag you should stay away from is the equivalent of beating a dead horse at this rate.
the tension is written all over your face when you take a seat across from yeosang, him looking up to quirk an eyebrow.
"hey?"
"hey."
"you sure you don't want to come over here?"
you briefly recall how anal he was about it last time when you sat across, so without further protests, you stand up to go plop down next to him, an irritated sigh departing without much thoughts but it doesn't go unnoticed by him.
"well... okay," he mutters under his breath, wondering who or what managed to tick you off knowing it's not him this time. he's only said a few words so far.
quick to dismiss it because of the limited time, he pulls the neglected laptop into his view, navigating to the school site.
"he made a study guide, we can go over that."
and he really is trying; this being the second time, even gave you somewhat of a proper greeting without any snarks or additional comments, but what bothers him more than your already less than stellar arrival, is your lack of participation.
eyes and ears not even following along and head entirely elsewhere.
mind you, he had to push his schedule back just to come here.
"something wrong? if there's anything bothering you or you have somewhere to be, you can tell me."
"it's nothing."
"sure looks like something because i doubt you heard a single thing."
you knit your brows together, arms crossing over one another as you glare at him.
"blade server: type of server that exists in the form of a single circuit board," you repeat the last term he was going over, even slightly imitating the way he said it.
he chuckles wryly.
"well, you heard one of them at least," he says; some kind of satisfaction that graces the corner of his lips with a faint smirk.
you roll your eyes, moving your attention to one of the paintings hanging on the wall, trying to reframe from bursting because you're still not over what you just heard not even that long ago.
"isn't it tiring?"
your head snaps back to him, confusion overtaking your expression.
"what is?"
"this shy, reserved act of yours whenever you're with others. with your friends, with that guy, san. do they know you're this overbearing in actuality?"
"excuse me?" your voice high in disbelief.
he cocks his head a little.
"or perhaps, that's what it is. you only act like that around guys like san, but someone like me, you're not trying to impress so you don't give jackshit about how you come off."
red on your face, red in your veins, and red under your breath.
"and you don't have an act of your own?" you fire back, somehow managing to find the girl in you who has a voice and definitely some guts, but she who goes missing when it comes to telling san to fuck off.
"pretending to be this nice guy around yunho and mingi, like you're doing a favor by helping their friend when all you do is insult me behind their back."
you stand up furiously, grabbing at your things and sparing him one last glance (that you hope will intimidate him).
"you won't ever have to worry about wasting your time on someone like me ever again."
you don't need mingi or yunho (or both) shielding you like you're an infant still in a cradle, and you definitely do not need kang yeosang blowing up on you when you're just starting to realize how much you hate this fucking computer class and all this technical junk; when everything's already going to shit.
but your whole life has been a load of shit one after another so you suppose it's not entirely out of place.
which is why you ultimately decided that if it's going to turn to shit, it should all just be on the table at this point.
when you show at mingi's door just a few minutes right after you get off work, you know wooyoung is not there. he usually never is. he's always either at his own parties or at one of the five other properties under his parents name.
between the two options, you're more willing to bet it's the one person who actually shares a living space with wooyoung, squeezing yourself in and slamming the door behind before mingi could even get out a simple 'hey'.
he's stunned by the sudden cornering, as expected.
"woah there, missy," mingi coos, that lighthearted tone in his voice you recognize whenever he jokes around--completely disregarding the more serious look on your face.
"did you... by any chance, said something to wooyoung?"
you try to keep vague, for all you know, you just might be overstepping the boundaries and giving your friends too little credits.
wooyoung could've done it even without the push from one of them, but it's best to confirm before digging your own grave.
mingi pulls his brows into confusion.
"like?"
you clear your throat, swallowing down a knot, loathing how much harder he's making this, or if he's just really good at burying his own dirts. it's not exactly out of character for him.
"like--"
the abrupt knock at the door from behind cuts you short, your breath fuming before turning around to open it; the thinning patience not allowing you to consider even for a second who it might be, a small jump in your body when you see it's the other suspect. how convenient.
yunho doesn't say anything and neither does you or mingi. he awkwardly clears the block in his throat and walks himself in through the small space until he's standing tall in front of you.
after you close the door, it's the longest silence you've ever endured in the presence of the two, all your eyes bouncing from one to another before yunho finally speaks.
"did i miss an invitation?"
mingi chuckles, seemingly already relaxed.
"you're not the only one. miss y/n just busted into my room to interrogate me."
you shoot lasers at him and mutters something inaudible under your breath. it could be yunho, but he's usually the wiser of the two and mingi hasn't exactly done anything that makes him less likely--
"it was me," yunho deadpan, both you and mingi shooting his direction so fast.
mingi having no idea what's going on, switches his gaze between the expressionless boy next to him and the enraged look on you.
"why?" you say, so short and simple but the tone is everything but that.
"because i can't bear to watch you keep doing this to yourself. my intuition was right, and--"
"and you couldn't just talk to me?"
"wait, is this about san?" mingi ask, his voice such a contrast to the bubbling tension.
"and if i talked to you, would you have even listened?"
"well, i wouldn't know because you didn't even talk to me. you just went straight into airing my business to his friend."
"it's definitely about san," mingi mutters to himself, his presence completely ignored.
"i just thought that maybe san might listen to wooyoung since they're friends. and that if he stays away, you'll reframe from seeking him out."
it's quiet after that but the air is thick as you two stare into each other with something unpleasant brewing in your chest.
"h-how did you know?"
a low exhale departs yunho before he answers, "it was only a suspicion at first, but then i saw san walking back with you to the dorm that night. and well... you're kind of awful at being discreet."
an eyebrow raise at the confession, your face eventually twisting into distaste.
"you were spying on me?!"
"i wasn't spying on you. it was a coincidence, ask mingi. me and him were coming back from the library because of the campus job i was telling you about."
so... mingi saw it, too.
"yunho... i appreciate your concerns, but, i can make my own choices."
a dry, almost mocking laughter leaves him as he takes a seat at the edge of mingi's bed and stares you down.
yunho isn't an intimidating person; the boy always so nice and easy to talk to, any fights or arguments you guys ever had up till this point has never been this bad. but his gaze right now does make you feel a little small.
"and what is that going to be?" he throws his hands up. "returning to the same person who you know is emotionally unavailable? who won't ever love you the way you really want him to?"
"you talk as if you know him personally..."
you know you shouldn't have said it; defending someone who doesn't deserve it, and well aware there's not a single bone in yunho's body that is capable of harms, but you're so tired of the coddling.
so tired of being looked at as someone breakable.
"no. but i know people like him; guys like him. i know that they will never just magically come around, and most of all, i know that this isn't what you want. you're sticking to him in hope that he'll change his mind, no matter how much you want to deny it."
you've always hated how observant he is...
"then... why do you guys hang with wooyoung, and why is he friends with san? wooyoung is a good person, right? so shouldn't san be, too?"
you're deflecting; it's awful, but it does catches yunho offguard, and even mingi. yunho who was so sure before now mouth clasped tight, because yunho's an honest man, and as an honest man, he doesn't know either.
the couple of times he's met wooyoung, he's aways been pleasant to be around; welcoming of his presence with opened arms and always with a smile on his face to make sure yunho was never left out.
the question asked--more for wooyoung himself than yunho.
"i'm not sure if i can answer that, but, can you promise me at least? that you'll stay away? if not for me, do it for yourself."
you're quiet, shifting to look down at the floor and tracing the pattern when a groan falls from yunho.
"fine." he stands up, his towering height and cold eyes making you feel all sorts.
"call me whenever you actually consider our friendship these last four years instead of whatever you're having with a guy that you just met this semester."
"yunho..." mingi mumbles, disapproval in his tone.
yunho doesn't say anything else, only rushing for the door as he brushes past you before it is slammed shut.
"he didn't mean it." mingi glares at you.
"i know he didn't."
you limp to his bed, taking the seat where yunho was sitting before, still able to feel the warmth he had left behind.
mingi sighs, shaking his head and eventually sitting down with you.
"and i know you don't want to hear this again, but he's right."
as a friend, mingi cares for you. of course he does. but as the boy who found you under that oak tree when you were fourteen years old; as someone who knew you before yunho, before anyone else, he also understands the curiosity you hold for the world; for what else is out there.
you have been deprived of these things almost your entire life, he thinks it's ony natural. so he never tries to be too hard on you when he sees your eyes wander and your nose perked.
he's just always sitting back and watching; observing. yunho and him the perfect contrast to one another because though he may be loud and obnoxious, he tries to stir away from possibly upsetting you. whereas yunho can be a bit overprotective despite his quietness on a surface level.
"i know..." you say, "i just... wish he'd have a little bit more faith in me. i-i can handle it." even you're failing to convince yourself.
mingi breathes out a pitiful look in his eyes, taking your hands into his and locks gaze with you. he's about to get sentimental and you know it. his silly and laidback personality a perfect combination to his more vulnerable side he lets loose once in a while.
"remember the last time you fought with yunho?"
you wouldn't really call it a fight, it was barely an argument, maybe more of a disagreement but aside from this one, that was definitely the most heated you two ever got.
you nod, mumbling in a low volume, "yeah."
"and how angry you were at him?"
"yeah, because he was acting without thinking and i was worried about him."
it was a fight between yunho and minji, at first over something so small but eventually escalating into something bigger.
"i was afraid he was gonna do something he'd regret later."
yunho had spent most of his high school years crushing on minji, always so shy and unconfident, until he finally mustered up the courage to ask the girl out to which she said yes (obviously). and he was gonna throw it all away for something that he probably wouldn't even think about a week from then.
"exactly. because you were looking out for him, and he's just looking out for you, too."
your hands stiffen in mingi's grasp, a sullen look on your face. you also know that.
"look," he says, scooting closer. "i poke my nose in everything, and it's only because i live to annoy you, but in all honestly, i wouldn't ever intrude on your personal affairs. but some days, i still think about how he treated you back at the party."
he goes on, "i was happy at first, him being wooyoung's friend and all. he was also okay when we went out to dinner, but someone who genuinely likes you would not sideline you the way he did."
your mind briefly flashes back to the party, thinking about how hopeful and stupid you looked with that jacket on like a little lost puppy.
thinking about the smirk so fittingly as it rested on his lips when he flirted with your unknowing roommate, using her as leverage to achieve whatever end result he was getting at.
thinking about how you foolishly believed his lie at the time, but overtime seeing for yourself nothing is accidental or coincidental especially in the face of a man like san.
everything is done intentionally and with the purpose to gain; getting you a job and definitely messing with you at the party. he might've even lied on that date with jongho, too.
"and i never asked for anything from you before, but i'm just asking this one time, if you can... please listen to yunho and keep a distance from san."
mingi squeezes your hand, his stance desperate as he awaits your answer.
it takes longer this time around for you to say something, but when you finally do, mingi could've swear he heard it wrong when a quiet "fine" falls from your lips.
"r-really?" his eyes grow in incredulity.
you nod. "if you and yunho are this worried, then i'll stop seeing him."
his chest exhales in relief, the once uneasy expression on him dropping, wondering what prompted the sudden change of mind or if he's really just that good at giving overall sappy speeches.
"oh dear, you got me so scared."
you giggle at his comment, the first time today you're allowed to smile.
he releases the hold on you, backing up a little but gaze having never left, a slight tense in his body language that you know he's going to act on.
"okay, but, can i ask something? and bitch you better not lie to me. we tell each other everything, remember?"
you swallow the knot in your throat, afraid of what he's going to ask and with a feeling it's going to knock your breath away.
"right," you hesitantly answer.
and well... you hate to be correct.
"have you slept with him?"
you almost choked on your own saliva.
"mingi..." you hiss.
"you heard me, bitch. did you guys do the devil's tango?"
you roll your eyes, kicking at his leg lightly and exasperating out loud.
"oh my god, why the hell are you calling it that?"
"oh, whatever. you know what i mean. did. you. guys. fucked?" he crosses his arms.
he can be so sweet and understanding, and then at the same time, go and ask questions like this.
he squints his eyes.
"you know, silence is incriminating. hesitation is damaging, and something tells me you slept with him. not once. not twice."
a small surge of panic rushes in, grabbing at the pillow nearby and smacking him in the face with it.
he winces in exaggerated pain and you toss the pillow back, shooting daggers at him.
"i swear, if you rip that, you're paying for a new one."
"worth it to shut that big ass mouth of yours."
it's a couple seconds before he breaks out into laughter and you follow along with a simple giggle.
"okay but please... can you promise me you won't tell yunho?"
he shrugs, lips quirked to the side.
"what makes you think he doesn't suspect it as well? but sure, i guess. you should really talk to him, though. after this."
mingi plays it cool, a smile on his face and burying that feeling aside that he's just the littlest bit of sad your first time went to someone who doesn't love you.
granted, he's never really cared too much for such thing, always having joked around his parents will end up with no grandkids because he doesn't plan on adopting, either.
but he's always thought that if you were to have it, he'd want your first time to be special. with someone you love, and who loves you the same; your heart always so big and with so much to give.
not someone like san who lures you in with his handsome look and butterflies-alarming words, knowing he never planned to give anything in return except to add to the list of your miseries.
he can't help but feel it is his fault--for leaving you at the party and for ever introducing wooyoung.
but at least now, you will stay away and spare yourself an inevitable heartbreak... he hopes.
~
you approach the door of yunho's room with cautious steps, hesitation in your appearance because of the one person he shares the space with.
you knock lightly, proceeding to wait and it doesn't take long before it creaks open and yunho is standing before you.
he doesn't look surprised by it, if anything, he looks like he was expecting you to show up at one point. it's just so in character.
you take this chance to sneak a glance past his shoulders, seeing it's in the clear.
"may i come in?" you ask sweetly.
he nods, a hum under his breath and steps aside to let you in.
"i'm sorry," you say, turning to him as his back is to the door. "sorry for acting like a bitch earlier, i know you were just looking out for me. and... i talked to mingi, and i already promised him i-i'll stay away from san."
rather than a sudden change of mind, it was more the realization that you don't need whispered sweet lies or kisses from a boy who doesn't even like you; who always have made you feel so shitty about yourself.
your friends matter, and you're going to listen to them.
that the next time choi san calls or texts, no matter what emojis he uses or what words he will say to get you to come to his place, you're going to ignore him.
next // series m.list
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