#mini morning meta

[raayllum]

Anyway it’s not that deep but I was thinking about the differences in framing with Stella in this scene

where she starts off on Rayla’s shoulder as the poor girl starts crying

versus how Stella has moved alternatively away from Rayla to be by her knees and almost wait the cry out, as Rayla’s sobbing is far more like a panic attack (like Callum’s own breakdown over her a few scenes later) than we’ve seen so far

which makes me think of how rather than moving closer, Stella gets off of Rayla’s shoulders when the girl starts to break - as though she doesn’t want to be another weight on top of them. As well as Stella being saddened by Rayla’s grief / empathetic but not surprised, so this is definitely not the first breakdown Stella has witnessed which - this poor girl, y’know?

[luxaofhesperides]

greener on the other side

Danny makes a habit out of hopping into portals and exploring he places he ends up. It just so happens that this time, he ends up in Gotham right as the Signal begins his patrol. Duke meets the strangest, funniest, cutest guy on the roof of the Gotham City Public Library. He knows Batman would not approve of literally anything he's doing, but sue him, he wants a meta friend and this guy seems to up for it. -- OR: how Duke and Danny got together despite having secret identities and living different dimensions.

chapter one: how it starts - 8.2k

also available on ao3! . . .

Sam would like Gotham is the first thing Danny thinks when he arrives. 

The city is dark and gloomy, the sky overcast and the chill of the wind indicates an oncoming storm. Dark buildings rise out of the ground, all dramatic shapes and ledges and honest-to-God gargoyles. Everything about Gotham is right up Sam’s alley, minus all the crime which Danny can hear from his perch on Gotham City Public Library. 

He never knows where his portals will spit him out, but all things considered, this is one of the nicer places he’s ended up. 

At least he didn’t walk out into the middle of an alley full of gun wielding gang members. Or into another cult hideout. Those are always unpleasant. 

Danny squints up at the sky, wondering what time it is. Usually, he can get a good idea based on the position of the sun, but with all the clouds, he can’t tell. It can’t be night yet; it’s not that dark out and the streets are a rush of activity that only comes about during the day. But it doesn’t seem like the afternoon, either. For a city this big, it would be a lot busier.

Maybe he dropped in during the morning rush? 

And if he did, that means he has an entire day to wander Gotham and scope out places that Sam and Tucker would like. 

im gonna be out all day, he texts to their group chat. It was barely noon when he left, sticking around long enough to eat and double check that his parents were going to be out all day for some biology conference. How they keep getting invited despite their own field of research, he’ll never know, but if it gets them out of the house, he’s certainly not going to complain.

Good or bad? Sam replies immediately.

Danny casts a look around again; dark and dreary city, a drug deal going down directly below him behind the library, distant yells and the occasional gunshot far off in the distance, barely audible unless he strains his hearing. 

good, he texts, gonna check out the rest of this place then bring u both to visit later.

Send pics!

He sends a thumbs up and a smiley face, then pockets his phone and stands up. Tucker’s probably still asleep, having knocked out at some ungodly hour of the night, so there’s no point in waiting for him to respond. He’ll just save all his thoughts about Gotham to share in person.

The library is located solidly in a busy part of the city. Danny could go anywhere from there, but without any knowledge of where anything is, he’s stuck, debating on where to go first and if he should risk outing himself as a tourist by asking random people on the streets questions. He leans forward, looking around the street below him to see what it holds; a few office buildings, two restaurants, three coffee shops and a bakery, and what looks like an occult store. 

Definitely one he’s going to avoid. 

There’s probably nothing in it that’s real, but on the off chance something does react to him…

Better not to try his luck and hope there are no ghost hunters in this dimension. After all, there’s no guarantee that his dimension is the only one with the Guys In White. There could always be another version of them waiting for him on the other side of his portals across the Infinite Realms. 

Just as Danny starts singing eenie-meenie-minie-moe under his breath, trying to choose which street to follow, he hears the soft thud of someone landing on the roof. 

The roof Danny is currently on, that regular people shouldn’t be able to access. 

He whips around immediately, tense and ready for a fight. He’ll have to hold back while he’s in human form, but not as much as he did in Amity Park. Perks of not existing in this dimension: if Danny wants to disappear completely, he can. 

“Hey, you good?” calls the… person? Whoever it is wears yellow armor. Not medieval or ancient armor, but something that resembles what he’d expect to see in a sci-fi action movie. Or maybe Power Rangers. There’s a bat figure spanning across their chest, like an emblem, which probably identifies whoever this is, but Danny is lacks any and all context and knowledge to know who, exactly, is joining him on the roof of the library.

“Yeah?” he responds hesitantly. “I’m good. Why are you asking?”

The yellow armored person walks closer, steps careful and measured. “I saw you all the way up here and got worried. This isn’t a place people usually hang out, you know?”

What? Did he—

Oh. 

The pieces click into place and Danny shakes his head.

“I’m good! Really! Sorry about worrying you, I wasn’t about to jump or anything. I just like being up high.”

“Alright, cool. Good to know.”

“So… who are you?” 

They start, look down at themselves, then look back at Danny. “You don’t know me? Sorry, you wouldn’t ask if you did. I’m the Signal.”

“The Signal? That’s… kinda a weird name. No offense or anything!”

Signal laughs. “Nah, I get it. Comes with the territory though, you know? Though people are pretty used to it these days.”

Danny very much did not know, but wisely chooses not to admit it. “So what’s with the get up?”

“It… keeps me safe? I’m not going to be patrolling in my pajamas, as much as I would like to. Safety first, and all.”

Patrol? Danny looks closer at the Signal, taking in the armor, the bat emblem, the helmet and how his eyes are covered. He’s hiding his identity, not just dressing up for fun. He probably should have figured that out sooner.

“You’re a hero!” Danny says, pointing at him. 

“Yeah, I am,” Signal confirms, bemused smile on his face. “Are you not from around here? I get that I’m not very well known outside of Gotham, but most people are able to clock me as a hero pretty quickly.”

Danny laughs nervously. “Haha, yeah, something like that. Don’t really have heroes back home. So do you have powers or something?”

On the outside, he’s keeping cool. He’s being so chill and normal. 

On the inside? Danny is close to freaking out. A hero! An actual hero! Who came to check up on him because he’s probably saved other people who have tried jumping! Danny is meeting his first legitimate hero who saves people; there are no heroes in Amity Park, and Danny himself barely counts, because the focus there is to fight ghosts more than it is to save people. 

But the Signal is here to help people. As a hero.

That’s so fucking cool. Danny needs a selfie with him immediately to have proof to show once he tells Sam and Tucker about this.

“Oh, this and that,” Signal answers, “I can’t really give out the details for my own safety. Sorry about that.”

“That’s fine dude, I should have thought of that before I asked.”

“I will say that I can see more things than the average person. Comes with being a meta, I guess.”

There’s a word Danny doesn’t know. Asking would probably raise some red flags about him and Danny does not want to ruin his first official meeting with an official hero by asking strange questions. The casualness with which Signal had said meta points to it being common knowledge in this dimension. 

Danny can figure it out with context clues. Probably.

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah, so can I ask you something?”

He tenses without meaning to. He’s ready to run. Questions are never anything good, not in his experiences, and if he goes now, he can probably avoid Signal for the next few hours while he explores. 

“Sure,” he says, against his better judgment.

“Are you a meta? Because you’ve got this sort of… glow. It’s really bright actually, which is how I found you.”

Danny looks down at himself to check that he isn’t partially ghostly. He is just as human as he was at the start of the conversation. No unusual glowing happening at all. 

“A glow?” he repeats.

Signal nods, looking him over. “Yeah. And it kinda looks like there’s two of you. Like someone took a negative of you and overlaid it on your body. Your hair is white and your eyes keep changing between green and blue. So: meta?”

He can’t answer. His throat is closing up. Panic is beginning to build. 

Danny has gone so long without people discovering his identity as Phantom and Signal can just see it?! 

“Woah, hey, calm down man. I’m not gonna out you or anything,” Signal tries to reassure. “I just wanna make sure you’re alright. Are you running from someone?”

No. Not as long as his parents never find out about him. He forces a shaky smile on his face, taking a step back. “Nah, I’m fine. And, sorry, but I can’t tell you why you’re seeing that. You understand how important secrets are.”

“I do. Okay, one last question: what are you doing in Gotham?”

“Honestly? Sightseeing. I’m looking for good places to bring my friends to when they come visit.”

“I can help with that.”

“Don’t you need to fight crime or something?”

Signal shrugs. “I can multitask.” 

The casual answer startles a laugh out of Danny, and he relaxes. Despite all the questions, despite all the ways things can go wrong by associating with a hero that can see Phantom in him, he can’t help but trust the Signal. He’s been chill so far and isn’t pushing for answers. And Danny could use a guide to show him around Gotham.

“Yeah, alright,” Danny decides, “Lead the way, Signal.” . . .

They cross a good portion of Gotham by grapple. Meaning the Signal is carrying Danny as they swing between buildings, occasionally stopping for the Signal to either help someone on the street or point out a place Danny can take his friends to. 

It’s fun the first few times, then Danny starts getting uncomfortable with how each movement jostles him. Feeling the wind rushing past him while relying entirely on someone else to move is beyond strange and he finds that he doesn't like the feeling much.

I don’t exist here, he thinks to himself, I can just leave before I deal with any serious consequences. 

This is reckless, but Danny wants to be reckless. He wants to go all out and have fun traversing Gotham with the Signal. This isn’t his dimension and he’s spent his entire life since dying trying to stay safe despite everything going wrong, so he can be a little reckless. As a treat.

“Not that this isn’t fun or anything,” Danny says the next time they land on a roof, “But is it cool if I just fly?”

Signal stops from where he had been pointing out a new cat cafe that opened. “You can fly?”

Danny grins and floats up, just a few inches. The rush of weightlessness almost feels like fear, but he refuses to acknowledge it as such and shoves it deep into his chest where he’ll never have to deal with it again. 

“You can fly,” Signal says blankly. “Sure. Why not. People are going to notice and go looking for you, so…”

Danny goes invisible, then pops back into the visible spectrum after a few seconds. “I got it covered. Just lead the way, I’ll be right behind you.”

“This might as well just happen,” Signal mutters, then shakes his head. “Alright. Let’s head to Wayne Tower. If your friends are into STEM, that’s the place to go. They give free tours for the public too.”

Which sounds like the perfect place for Tucker. Danny makes a mental note to visit Wayne Tower first so Tucker can geek out to his heart’s content. 

The Signal jumps off the building, grapple shooting through the air. Danny lets invisibility wash over him then follows after, taking in the sight of the city below him. 

To think the Signal takes care of all of this… Gotham is way larger than Amity Park, and that invites a lot more problems. Ghosts are one thing, but human criminals are another entirely. The Signal’s got to be strong to be a hero in this city.

He’s going to comment on it when someone below them screams, “Signal!”

Immediately, they both change course and drop to the street, where a woman is pulled into a bus by her hair. Other passengers are looking out the windows, terrified and holding themselves carefully still as a group of people with extreme facepaint and guns take control of the bus.

“You ain’t getting us today, Signal!” one of them jeers, and the doors close just as the bus tears off down the street, knocking off side mirrors of parked cars and wearing between traffic dangerously. 

“Shit,” Signal hisses, and aims his grapple gun high. 

He might be a hero with powers, but it’ll be impossible to catch up with a speeding bus with just a grapple. Danny isn’t a hero here, he’s a tourist who should know better than to butt into other people’s business, but seeing people in need of help, people in danger, there really isn’t any other choice he could make.

“Come on,” he says, “I’ll give you a lift.” And he picks up the Signal before he can respond, covering him with invisibility as well to get a drop on the criminals, then takes off. He pushes himself, keeping a tight grip on the Signal’s armor so he doesn’t fall, and closes the distance between them and the bus in no time. 

“You good if I drop out on top of the bus?” he shouts over the wind in his ears and the frantic honking of cars on the road, dodging the bus. 

“Yeah, I can take it from here!”

Danny bites his tongue to keep from protesting. The Signal is clearly intending to stop the bus and save the passengers on his own, and he probably won’t appreciate Danny getting involved. Which is exactly why Danny isn’t asking for permission and is just going to jump into the fray while the Signal is distracted. 

He puts on a final burst of speed and throws the Signal at the bus. He stays in the air just long enough to make sure the Signal lands safely, startling every person in the bus. Two criminals shove open their windows and lean their upper bodies out of the bus, aiming their guns at where the Signal is trying to get onto the side of the bus to force his way in.

Without thinking, Danny moves, yanking the guns out of their hands, then grabbing the backs of their shirts to lift them fully out of the window. He ignores their startled yells and the gasps of the hostages as they watch two of their captors dangle in midair, seemingly held by nothing. He takes a moment to look around, then spots a pile of trash bags that will cushion their fall. 

Then he throws them at it and tosses the guns onto the roof of the building where the Signal can pick them up later. 

Two threats taken care of, Danny flies back to the bus, which is moving even more erratically down the road as the Signal tries to take control of it without getting any of the hostages hurt. 

“Get flashbanged!” Danny hears right before a large flash of light blinds him for a moment. 

Another face painted criminal goes falling out of the bus, rolling onto the street, rubbing their eyes. The bus door remains open; broken, based on how it moves wildly back and forth as the bus continues its chaotic journey down the road. 

The Signal is struggling. He’s holding off well on his own, but he’s one person trying to save a bus full of people. Danny phases in through the back of the bus, landing silently. He sees the Signal lift a hand and has just enough time to turn his face away before there’s another blinding flash of light. 

It distracts the first criminal in front of him, who’s hanging back from the fight. This one has a machete instead of a gun, which is good because a gun would have been way more dangerous in such close quarters. 

Danny knocks them out with a solid punch to the head, then kicks the machete under a seat. 

He makes his way up the bus, quickly taking out anyone in face paint, then grabs the gun of the last one and freezes it into a block of ice. The Signal doesn’t waste any time in shoving the unconscious body of the driver out of the seat and taking control, carefully pulling the bus over to the side of the road, flicking on the hazard lights, then puts on the brakes and cuts the engine. 

“Everyone alright?” he asks, standing to look over the passengers. 

They’re all pale and tense, but far more composed than Danny was expecting from a group of hostages. 

“We’re fine,” a woman says, who Danny recognizes as the one who called out for the Signal. “Thank you for coming for us. I’m so glad the Bats have you active during the day.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” Signal replies. “Go on out. The GCPD will be here soon.”

The passengers begin to file off, most stopping to give the Signal a quick thanks. It’s nice to see, though it leaves a bitter taste in Danny’s mouth.

He rarely ever gets thanks as Phantom. He’s given up his teenage years to keep ghosts from harming people and people from harming ghosts, taking responsibility for the pain his parents’ portal have caused Amity Park, and all he really gets is people insulting him or seeing him as just as bad as the ghosts he fights. Never any thanks, not from the town he saves.

It sucks to see how people can be nice to heroes in this dimension, but in his own they blame him for everything. 

The bus is empty when the Signal look at him. He looks directly at Danny while he’s invisible.

That’s… not great. It’s a good thing the Signal isn’t his enemy, or Danny would be a lot worse off, having to dodge someone he can’t hide from. 

“Thanks for the help man,” Signal says, “You get hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

“Let’s get out of the street. Follow me.”

He walks off the bus and waves to the passengers one last time, then shoots his grapple. Danny hesitates for a moment, considers escaping, then follows the Signal up to the rooftops because he really does want to see Wayne Tower so he can bring Tucker over. 

The Signal is watching him approach when he gets to the roof. It’s unnerving, which is saying something considering the fact that his life is now a sci-fi horror story on bad days. And he’s had a lot of bad days. 

“Can you actually see me?” is the first thing he asks, unable to keep the question to himself.

“Kind of. It’s more like I can see a very blurry light moving around.”

“Huh.”

“Can you go back to being visible, though? I don’t want to be squinting at you while we talk.”

Danny looks at him. “I wouldn’t even be able to tell that you’re squinting, with the helmet and all.”

“Okay, fair, but I’d still feel better if I could see you properly.”

Well, there’s really no reason to refuse the Signal. He’s been nice so far, and he’s not even yelling at Danny for being irresponsible or reckless or anything. It’s already a decent start to the conversation. He owes the Signal this much, at least.

He lets his invisibility fade away, joining the visible spectrum once more.

The Signal looks him over, stepping closer to spin Danny around, checking him over for any injuries. Then he steps back, satisfied, and nods. “Sorry about that, I just had to double check to make sure you’re not hiding any injuries. Do you want to rest up here for a bit?”

Huh. No reprimand at all. 

“I was expecting you to yell at me for getting involved, honestly,” Danny admits.

The Signal laughs. “Oh, buddy, I absolutely do not have a leg to stand on when it comes to that. No yelling rights at all. You clearly had a plan in mind, have good control of your powers, and you never once impeded me. Everything got taken care of easily thanks to you. Besides, I’m not one to turn down help from someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Now that implies a hell of a story that Danny probably won’t ever get to hear. Which is a shame, because honestly? Danny wants to know as much as he can about the Signal. This guy is his new number one hero and Danny is ready to be his biggest fan.

“Glad I could help,” Danny says with a bashful smile. 

“Sorry you had to get caught up in all that, though. Still up for seeing Wayne Tower?”

“Are you sure you have time for this? This place is filled with crime.”

The Signal shrugs. “That’s just Gotham, man. I’ll help were I can, but I also want to play tour guide. It’s nice being able to show someone the good parts of Gotham.”

This place is a disaster, full of smog and smoke and Danny keeps hearing gunshots that he tries very hard to ignore. But it’s clear that the Signal loves his city. It’s nice to see; Danny’s been wanting to escape Amity Park for years now, even before the Accident, and though he gives as much as he can to keep it safe, he doesn’t really love it. 

His parents have made things difficult for him with their reputation, and then with their constant attempts to hunt him down for experimentation. He’s tired of being around the same people, stuck with kids he grew up with and has too much history with. Sam and Tucker are the obvious exceptions, but he knows that one day they’ll all go their separate ways to learn what life is like without ghosts and Amity bogging them down. They’ll find their way to each other again, but they all know leaving is inevitable.

They don’t talk about it much, not out loud, but the itch to run away from Amity Park and experience the rest of the world is obvious. It’s why Sam looks at international volunteering opportunities, making resumes and cover letters for environmental organizations that are cleaning up pollution, or replanting forests, or creating buildings from recycled material. It’s why Tucker takes online class after online class to get certifications in as many things as he can before applying for universities all over the country, looking into scholarships and internships and job opportunities so he can support himself when the time comes.

It’s why Danny spends more and more time hopping through natural portals and exploring the Ghost Zone and stubbornly refusing to go home at all on the weekends. 

“Well,” he says with a shrug, “I’m down if you’re down.”

The Signal grins and claps a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Good to hear. Keep up if you can!” And then he’s throwing himself off the building in such a reckless maneuver than Danny feels his half-dead heart stop before hears the Signal’s laughter and the sound of a grapple line being reeled in.

“Oh, it’s on!” Danny doesn’t waste another second and leaps into the air, his stomach dropping for just a moment before gravity looses its hold on him. Then he’s shooting through the sky after the Signal, eyes fixed on the yellow-clad hero. 

He only just manages to remember to go invisible, most of his focus on watching the Signal swing between buildings, heading towards a large building. From where they are, moving above the rooftops, Danny can see the ocean, the dark waters stretching out past the horizon. 

The Signal glances back to make sure Danny’s still following, and Danny takes the chance to put on a burst of speed so that he’s flying besides the Signal. 

“Are you sure you can keep up with me?” Danny teases, his grin sharp. Without having to worry about anyone seeing him, it’s easy to let go of some of his control and let his fangs sharpen until they’re easily visible. 

“Man, this is not a game you’re going to win,” the Signal replies. A sly smirk crosses his face, one that promises fun and trouble, and then he swings into the shadow of a church spire and disappears.

Danny stops short and blinks a few times, wondering if his eyes glitched out somehow. The Signal was literally right in front of him. Where did he go?

He squints and looks around, floating up idly to try and get a better look at everything around him. 

“Catch me if you can!” 

Danny spins, trying to pinpoint where the Signal’s voice came from. He flies up higher and strains his hearing, listening past the honking cars, the multiple conversations happening beneath him, the train in the distance going to its next stop…

He hears a click and the sound of a body moving quickly through the air. Danny follows it, flying around buildings. He closes his eyes, focusing only on what he hears, and chases after the Signal. The closer he gets, the easier it is to hear the mechanical whir of the grapple gun, his heartbeat, his footsteps against the rooftops and the sides of buildings as he keeps moving. 

It’s fun, this chase. Danny’s never experienced something like this before. There are no stakes, no dangers, no fear or panic. This is just two people dashing through a city for fun, using their abilities to blow off stress instead of fighting for their lives or the lives of others. 

The Signal is close. Danny cracks open his eyes and frowns when he still can’t see the hero. He listens closely and the Signal should be off to his right, just out of reach. 

No one is there when he looks, but who’s to say that Danny’s the only one who can go invisible? The Signal certainly didn’t share his powers, so maybe…

Danny veers to the right suddenly and reaches out to where the Signal’s heartbeat is loudest. He hears the hero yelp in surprise as Danny tackles him out of the air. It’s only his tight grip on the Signal, arms wrapped around his waist, that keep him from falling, but taking on the weight of an entire person—one who’s heavily armored, at that—leaves Danny off balance as he flies. It takes a few moments to correct it, then he’s flying up, heading towards the large building that, now that he’s close enough to see it, has WAYNE written across the side near the very top. 

He picks up speed and flies them up to the roof, circling around it once to make sure no one else is out there. With the coast clear, Danny carefully sets the Signal down and drops his invisibility.

“Got you,” he declares, a little breathless from the chase. He grins at the Signal and only remembers his clearly visible fangs after a long minute where there’s no response. “Oh, sorry. I know it’s kinda freaky.” He brings a hand up to hide his mouth, and the Signal snaps out of his daze to grab Danny’s wrist and pull his hand down.

“No, no, you’re good! Sorry, I was just caught off guard. No one’s ever caught me while I used shadows.”

“Shadows and light? You have some really cool powers.”

The Signal gives him a rueful smile. “You say that because you haven’t seen me struggle to figure out how to use them yet.”

Oh, isn’t that familiar? Danny can relate. He was a disaster after the Accident when his powers first kicked in. “Trust me, I know how hard it can be and I can guarantee that you’ll never do worse that I did.”

“Bet.”

“I can go intangible,” Danny says, leaning closer to the Signal. “I could not control when or where I went intangible for the longest time. I fell through my bed, the floor, my entire house and also once got my arm stuck inside a wall in the middle of a conversation and had to act like nothing was wrong. Man, I was sweating while we were talking. Spent the entire time trying to casually pull my arm out of the wall. Pretty sure they think I have uncontrollable muscle spasms now.”

The Signal bursts out laughing and it’s infectious. He can’t help but laugh with him, remember the disastrous first few weeks with his powers, desperately trying to play it cool and failing miserably while he and his friends panicked. It was awful, don’t get him wrong, but it’s also very funny now that he’s looking back at it.

“Oh man, I don’t think I have one as good as that. I mean, the closest thing I have to that is that I once accidentally blinded myself trying to change a lightbulb and fell off the ladder. My uncle thought it was hilarious that I lost a fight to a single lightbulb.”

“That’s the one thing no one ever tells you about having powers: how ridiculously embarrassing it is 90% of the time.”

“Cheers, bro, I’ll drink to that.”

He feels a little dizzy with how much fun he’s having, still trying to catch his breath from the chase and all the laughter that followed. Danny tilts forward, leaning his weight on the Signal who takes it easily, holding him up like this is normal. 

“Okay, okay,” the Signal says, taking a deep breath to compose himself. “Let’s get back to the tour of Gotham. Welcome to Wayne Tower. You can just go inside and sign up for a free tour, they have one every hour.”

“And the tour has a STEM focus?”

“Oh, yeah. Some of it is just the basic history of what Wayne Enterprises has done, how they’ve grown, what industries they’re involved in, that sort of thing. But they also have a visit to one of the R&D labs to show some of the new tech they’re working on. Right now I think the focus is on prosthetics and wheelchairs and walkers. And there’s also a lab for astronomy and space flight—”

“A lab for WHAT?” Danny yells, looking up so quickly he accidentally slams the top of his head into the Signal’s chin, making them both tumble away from each other, hissing in pain. “Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry. I just love space and I got too excited and I can not be normal about space—”

A hand comes up and two fingers press against his lips, cutting his embarrassed rambling short. Danny really hopes the Signal can’t see the blush growing on his cheeks as an actual, real life hero who is standing with barely two inches between their bodies, puts his fingers on Danny’s lips. 

It’s a good thing Danny’s already had his bi panic two years ago or else he’d be dying for real this time around. 

“Chill, dude,” the Signal says with an easy smile, “It’s all good. I can take a harder hit. And if you like space, well…”

“Well?”

“Pollution in Gotham is really bad, so you can’t see any stars until you leave the city, but the university’s got a pretty good planetarium. They’re recently gotten new holograms to show off 3-D projections of different galaxies.”

Forget Signal and how attractive he is, this planetary is all Danny cares about now. 

Tucker can have the Wayne Tower tour, and he’ll find something good for Sam too, but the planetarium is for Danny specifically. It was made with him in mind. He is going to be so unwell about it once he goes to visit. He might just move in and refuse to leave. 

“No way,” Danny breathes, and distantly notes how the Signal shivers when his lips moves against his gloved fingers. “Signal, dude, we need to go to the planetarium. Please. I will get on my knees and beg if that’s what it takes.”

“Woah, no need! I was going to take you there anyways, and if you come back maybe next week, I can get tickets for you. No need to go on your knees at all.”

The phrasing makes Danny pause. That was incredibly suggestive, but since Signal’s not bringing it up and moving right along, Danny will go with it and pretend he didn’t actually say that.

“Okay, okay. Maybe we can make that our last stop? If we go now, I am not going to leave for like two days. Is there like, a nice park or something to do with plants in Gotham?”

The Signal tilts his head and makes a considering noise. “There is the botanical gardens, but Poison Ivy tends to take it over when she’s not at Robinson park.”

“Poison Ivy?” Danny repeats. That’s a Rogue’s name if he’s ever heard one, but seeing as most of his Rogues are other ghosts he’s fairly friendly with these days or government agents, he’s sure that his expectations for Rogues is pretty skewed. 

“Yeah, she controls plants and used to do a lot of robberies, property destruction, and murder in order to protect the environments. She’s gotten a bit better over the last few years, but she’ll still tear down the buildings of companies who are polluting the river and shit.”

Murder aside, Danny can kind of respect it. Sometimes the best way to fight back against the government and morally corrupt companies is to burn everything down. Sam would definitely approve; he puts the botanical gardens and Robinson Park on his list of spots to visit with her.

“Can we go check it out?”

“You know what? Sure. If Ivy is around, I’m sure we can handle it.” The Signal steps away from Danny and heads to the edge of the roof. “Ready?”

Danny follows him and lets his feet lift up off the roof, hovering just over the edge. “Ready,” he answers, prepared to take off.

The Signal jumps, grapple gun reappearing in his hand from where he placed it before, and then he’s off, moving through the open air easily as if he’s the one with the ability to fly. Danny chases after him, going invisible again as they weave between the buildings, heading away from the absurdly tall buildings that make up what must be the busier downtown area of Gotham. They go over the train tracks and the Signal grapples onto a water tank just to jump off of it again, gaining way more air than a normal person would be capable of. 

It’s beyond fun, flying through the city with the Signal. The clouds block out most of the sky, but every so often a weak stream of sunlight breaks through and illuminates a few sections of the city. It’s nothing at all like Amity Park, far darker and ornate and dangerous, but he can’t help but be fascinated by it, wanting to spend more and more time exploring Gotham. 

The Signal stops his journey a few times to drop down onto the street to stop carjackers and muggers, leaving them bound and awaiting police pick up. The victims, the few who stick around, always thank him and see him off with a wave.

Jealousy is an ugly feeling and Danny’s feeling a little too much of it, watching how the Signal interacts with the citizens of the city he protects. It’s no surprise that Danny’s completely burned out on heroing these days, preferring to use his powers for mundane tasks or just for fun. He was certainly never as good a hero as the Signal is. 

But then the Signal grapples back up into the sky and gives Danny a smile and all his ire fades away. 

It’s better this way; Danny’s been ready to retire from the hero business for a year and a half now, and the Signal deserves all the love he’s shown and more. 

They cross what feels like half of Gotham before the Signal comes to a stop across the street from a building with a large glass dome on the top.

“Here it is,” he announces, “The botanical garden. The inside is where you can pay for entering, and then it goes straight to a display of local plants and insects, with an indoor garden, and then the outside is where the actual gardens are. There’s also a greenhouse in there but it belongs solely to Ivy now. She’s got an agreement with the owner of the garden to keep the place safe so long as she can use the greenhouse as she pleased.”

Danny pulls out his phone to snap a picture and texts it to Sam.

She replies with a string of exclamation marks.

We’ll visit it together next week! he sends, and Sam sends back a thumbs up and a green and black heart. 

“Okay, this is absolutely a place I’m visiting with my friends,” Danny says, sending Jazz a ghost emoji when her check-in let me know you’re okay text comes in, right on the hour. 

“We got places for your friends, so it’s time to show you the planetarium, right? You need a place you want to visit too.”

“Just point it out to me, because I can promise that as soon as I’m inside, I am not coming back out.” Actually, it’s highly probable that Danny will straight up lose all grasp on time and reality and just spend an entire week staring at holographic projections of stars. And seeing how he promised to have dinner with Sam and Tucker so they can all catch up on what they’ve been doing over the summer, he shouldn’t risk disappearing into the depths of the planetarium.

“Actually,” Danny says, “Can we skip the planetarium for today? I don’t want to lose track of time since I am going back home once the sun sets.”

“Sure, if that’s what you want. Any other things you want to see in Gotham?”

“How about best places to eat?”

The Signal goes to reply, and judging by his smile, he’s fully on board with the idea of scoping out Gotham’s hottest food spots, when he falters and turns away slightly. What little Danny can see of his face smooths out into something neutral.

“I’m being called back,” he says after a minute of silence. Danny cocks his head, wondering how he missed hearing someone calling for the Signal. Unless it was like a phone call, but wired through his helmet, which somehow blocked Danny’s hearing…?

Not a rabbit hole he wants to go down. He forcibly puts the thought out of his mind. 

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, the other bats just want to talk to me.”

Bats. Bats?

Danny’s confusion must be visible because the Signal cracks a smile and says, “Man, where the hell are you from that you don’t know about the bats?”

Honestly, hell is a pretty decent description of where he’s from, but Danny’s not about to admit that. 

“Batman, the first vigilante in Gotham,” the Signal continues, “And he’s taken in a lot of others, including me. We’re all Gotham based but a few of us go and help out in other places, or start our own teams.”

“So you’re not the only hero here?”

“Not even close,” the Signal says, “I am the only one on the day shift, though.”

A day shift! Like a job! It’s so far from Danny’s own experience in trying to be a hero that he can be anything but impressed. “You’re the coolest of them,” he says, words tumbling out of his mouth before he’s properly aware of what he’s saying.

“Thanks, man. Even if you’re clearly biased since you’ve only met me.”

“I’ll stand by what I said even after I meet the others. Though I’m not sure I will, since I won’t be here at night.”

“Ah, well,” the Signal shrugs, “That just means I don’t have to share you.”

Danny feels like screaming. He wants to go out into space, scream, and burrow into an asteroid because he doesn’t know how else to process his feelings upon hearing that. Like, holy shit? Is this hero flirting with him? Is he into Danny? 

He needs back up ASAP. He needs Tucker and Sam and look over his interactions with the Signal and give him the verdict. 

“If you like my company so much, would you be up for doing this again tomorrow?” Danny asks, pushing his luck. If he can survive asking Paulina out as his partner to a dance even after his pants fell down in front of her, he can definitely flirt with the Signal. 

He’s got this.

“As if I would say no after how much fun we’ve had today. Come find me tomorrow and I’ll treat you to some of the street food you’ve ever had.”

“Cool! Tomorrow then.” The urge to say it’s a date is strong but Danny is stronger. For now. “You should get going before any of those ‘bats’ come to get you.”

The Signal offers a little two fingered salute, vividly reminding Danny of the fact that those fingers were on his lips, and then he’s swinging away, leaving Danny on the rooftop across from the botanical gardens. 

As soon as the Signal is out of sight and Danny can’t hear his heartbeat, he sinks down to his knees, hiding his face in his hands, and lets out an overwhelmed keen. 

He takes a minute to freak out over 1) meeting a hero 2) helping a hero save people 3) flirting with a hero! 4) securing a not-date with a hero. And then he pulls out his phone and frantically opens up the group chat to yell at Sam and Tucker.

danny: i think i died again bc WHAT THE HELL WAS THAAAAAAT

sam: It’s been two hours danny. What could you have possibly done

sam: Actually hang on you def do way worse in less time

danny: where’s tucker i want to talk to someone who WONT BULLY ME IN MY TIME OF NEED

tucker: can i pls eat lunch in peace

sam: No ♥️

danny: lol no

danny: anyways i met a hero and we flirted? i think?? i am fully prepared to marry this guy and idek his real name

tucker: do i need to give u another lecture on stranger danger

danny: no!!!! 

sam: How old even is this guy? If hes actually like 15 years older than you i Will decapitate him for going after you 🙂

tucker: dude just come back. U can tell us all abt this and let us laugh at u before dinner

danny: and then youll help me?

sam: Ofc danny, as if you’d be able to do anything without us

tucker: 🔼 😀

danny: be there soon!!

. . .

As much as they’ve had their rough patches over the years, Danny can say one thing with certainty: Sam and Tucker always tell him the truth. After everything they’ve gone through together over the past few years, from bullies to family troubles to ghosts and governments, they’ve learned to rely on each other and be as honest as possible. 

Which means that when they laugh at him, he knows they mean it.

“Seriously, guys,” Danny whines, hiding his face in Tucker’s pillow, “I am in distress! Help me!”

“I mean, it seems like you’re doing just fine,” Sam says.

“He had his fingers on your mouth.” Tucker cackles. “It’s so over for you.”

“At least this Signal guy is nicer that Valerie. I’m still not going to let him date you without meeting him first.”

“Sam!” Danny says, “Do not shovel talk a hero from another dimension. Don’t do that to me.”

She casually checks her nails, kept short but still fully capable of digging into flesh deep enough to draw blood. “Please, Danny, you know you can’t stop me.”

“Tuck?” he tries, hopefully.

“Nah, I’m with Sam on this one. We gotta meet him first, make sure he’s good for you, and then we’ll stop hovering and let you date in peace.”

Danny collapses back, bringing up the pillow to cover his face. He briefly considers suffocation as a reasonable way to escape this conversation, then decides that it would take too much time and they could always just take the pillow away from him anyways. “You really think I have a chance?”

He’s said it quietly, and with how the pillow muffles his words, he expects his moment of insecurity to fly by unnoticed.

The pillow is yanked away from him. Sam grabs his wrists and hauls him up to sit, and then Tucker whacks him on the head with his reclaimed pillow. 

“Hey! What the hell?”

“He should be grateful that you’re even giving him the time of day,” Sam says, a fire in her eyes. 

Next to her, Tucker nods so strongly Danny worries his glasses are going to fall off. “Based on what you’ve told us, he is absolutely into you. Neither of you have to do anything about it, since you’re from different dimensions, but he’d been stupid to say no if you ask him out.”

“Besides, you just met today. Give it some time. Crush all you want, but start as friends and see how that goes, okay?”

That’s… sound advice. 

Danny jumped straight to struggling with his very sudden crush on the Signal. But, as Sam said, it’s been one day. He’s got plenty of time to get to know the Signal and see if this crush is any deeper than just hero-worship and admiration. 

He won’t deny that he’s weak to someone strong being gentle with him, but honestly, if he wanted to swoon over buff people, he’d just go to a gym and ask if anyone would be available to help him. It’s worked in the past, it’ll work again. Even if the person who helps him ends up being Dash or someone else on the football team. 

That was a weird day. He’d totally do it again.

He sighs. “You’re right, Sam.”

“I always am.”

“Tucker, if you would.” With a grin, Tucker salutes him then biffs Sam over the head with his pillow.

They both ignore her offended shriek and Danny continues speaking. “I probably shouldn’t even be  thinking of a relationship right now. We’re about to go into senior year and send out college apps and all that. I can figure this whole thing out later. We probably won’t even see each other all that often.”

“But if there’s a chance, and if he makes you happy, promise you’ll go for it.”

“I don’t know…”

“Promise, Danny,” Tucker demands. One of his hands inch closer to Danny’s waist and he watches it with a wary glare. He knows Tucker isn’t above playing dirty via tickling to get Danny to do as he’s told. “Danny. Promise.”

“Okay, okay! I promise!” 

Tucker’s hand pulls away and Danny lets out a sigh of relief. It’s immediately followed by a yelp and his entire body flailing and falling off the bed as Sam, the traitor, jabs him in the side while he’s distracted.

“Just for that, I’m not taking you to the botanical garden in Gotham next week.”

“Wait, wait, wait, I’m sorry. I’ll stop bullying you.” Sam eyes him, consideringly. “For now.”

“I am suffering from feelings and all you two do is laugh at me.”

Shaking her head, Sam reaches down to pat Danny’s shoulder. “There, there. You’ll survive this.”

“Besides,” Tucker adds, “No matter what happens, you’ve got us.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” He doesn’t bother hiding his smile, knowing they can hear it in his voice anyways. 

Thinking over his time with the Signal doesn’t feel as overwhelming anymore. He’s gotten it off his chest, had his two best friends analyze it to the best of their abilities, found a new rhythm he can work with. His cheeks still flush red when he thinks about the Signal a little too long, but it’s a nice warmth, a promise that there’s something there, that he can see something that makes him happy outside of Amity Park.

He can figure out everything else later. He can get flustered over their not-date to various Gotham food trucks tomorrow, but that’s an issue for later. 

For now, he has a dinner to make with Sam and Tucker. For now, he’s got a quiet day in Amity Park where he can enjoy being with the two people most precious to him, and he can cherish every minute they spend together while the future draws closer with the promise to send them down different paths. 

They have now. They have summer and a visit to Gotham and a certainty that no matter what, they’ll be there for each other. 

And if Sam and Tucker tease him throughout dinner, citing his slow growing skills in making food that’s actually edible for normal humans, well, it’s not like he hasn’t earned it.

It’s not like he’ll need to cook much in Gotham. The Signal will make sure they don’t starve with his knowledge of the best food in the city. 

That’s just what heroes do, after all.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm preparing myself for the personal disappointment of Ted going back home to Kansas (even though I don't believe that's his home anymore) and that Trent will see him off in a ruby slippers shirt, especially since Lance has worn one before and we now know a lot of Trent's shirts are coming from his closet:

But in writing another meta I've been thinking a lot about Ted Lasso's clothing, particularly how it is used to connect with others and showcase growth. Sometimes that attempt is a failure and the growth is a detriment to the character, such as Nate trying to copy Roy's all black suit, and sometimes it's a success and the growth is something to celebrate, like Roy finding a compromise between his and Phoebe's tastes with his dark-colored, tie-die t-shirt. Beyond the issue that I don't want Ted to go back to Kansas at all (not unless the intention is to have him realize that Richmond is his true home now), a Dorothy shirt would fall flat for me because there's no in-universe connection to Ted. We as the audience understand the allusion because we've been picking up on hints since Season 1: Ted makes a quip about not being in Kansas anymore, he holds high scores on a Wizard of Oz pinball machine, he's surrounded by other allusions such as an emotionless man in need of a heart (Roy), a scared lion who rejects being a panda (Rebecca), and the comedic, presumed idiot who does in fact have a brain (Jamie). But all of that exists on an analytical level. In-world, Ted hasn't identified with Dorothy and what few connections there are -- such as that acknowledgement that he feels out of his depth in a new world -- are no longer accurate three seasons later, after a hell of a lot of growth. Unlike the suit and the shirts that exist overtly on screen as a way to say, "These characters are sharing a connection," Trent talking to Ted in a Dorothy shirt would feel too removed from textual!Ted and textual!Trent to have the same impact. This shirt totally sums up his story!... provided you've done the work to interpret all the easily missed hints and ignored the ways in which a Wizard of Oz ending would (imo) be a regression for Ted.

With an acknowledgment that I'm playing with all this through the assumption that Trent's shirt will have something to do with Ted, rather than us just getting an Overtly Queer shirt to show that Trent has fully embraced who he is, I've been hemming and hawing over what I'd give him instead. In some ways, Ted is notable for his lack of distinct fashion. He wears Richmond gear 70% of the time and the rest is plain colored long-sleeved shirts and collared shirts with polos. It's a distinctly Ted look to be sure (passionate and athletic vs. soft, comfortable, and mildly professional while still feeling approachable), but there's less material to work with than, say, Keeley's vibrate, quirky wardrobe; or Rebecca's preference towards outfits that emphasize her power as a kind of shield: wealth, beauty, her height; or -- of course -- Trent's move from buttoned-up journalist to queer bracelet, queer mug, queer style icon t-shirts. I can't think of anything Trent could wear off the top of my head that would a) be within his "vibe" and b) scream "I'M DECLARING MY SUPPORT AND/OR ROMANTIC LOVE FOR TED FUCKING LASSO."

Except, of course, for a "BELIEVE" shirt.

While I love and fully agree with Ted's speech about how belief needs to come from within and, thus, their sign is not actually necessary, a part of me is still disappointed that "BELIEVE" is no longer a visual part of the club. I'd be more willing to accept letting it go if we hadn't seen that Ted himself still relies on those visual reminders. Not only does he choose to put the sign up in the first place rather than simply telling the boys to believe in themselves, but back when Nate was doubting their chances in Ted's apartment, Ted sprints to his bathroom to retrieve one of mini signs he, obviously, keeps on hand and presumably sees every morning, soon as he gets up. It's important to him, not just the message, but the physicality of the reminder itself, so I've been expecting/hoping for the message to return in a new form by the end of the season.

Granted, that little moment was a while ago and it's possible that the writers didn't realize the implications it would have when Ted later ripped up the sign. However, another reason why I don't think my expectation is completely hopeless is because of the Season 3 promo, wherein all the Richmond family make their own BELIEVE signs. Forgetting a small gag back in Season 1 or 2 is understandable, but the promotion for the latest season? Why in the world would our advertising emphasize -- and celebrate! -- all the characters creating signs of their own if the message was meant to be, "Let the sign go. It's no longer needed"?

We didn't get this scene in the show proper, but it still speaks volumes that they filmed a moment where every character puts their own spin on the BELIEVE sign, using it to highlight their personality. Then, we end with a shot of Ted's touched approval as he talks about feeling seen.

Chronologically, Trent would have been around for all this. There's no need for the team to make their own signs until they realize the original has been torn and, obviously, Trent had become a part of the family by then. He's the one who discovered how the sign was torn in the first place. So if we read the promo as canonical, even if it didn't end up in an episode, why wouldn't Trent have joined in with everyone else? Thing is, he doesn't have a locker to hang a sign on, or even an office to put it in, and given that he's worn the same two bracelets and consistently used the same mug, there's really only one way that Trent shows his personality:

Shirts.

Some of which are notably brightly colored with blocky text referencing American-style learning.

I don't want Trent to walk into the finale with a Dorothy shirt whose importance only exists on a subtexual level and heralds Ted leaving the actual home he's worked to build. I want Trent to strut out in a bright yellow shirt with BELIEVE across the front, announcing to the world that, yes, he believes in the Lasso Way. Give me the implication that he had this made when everyone was personalizing their signs. Give me a fully confident "dork" who's willing to excitedly proclaim his love and support without fear of censor. Give me a BELIEVE reminder that's now tailored to the individual and can be worn or safely tucked away as needed. Give me the possibility (because it's not gonna be canon😭) that Trent is in love with Ted and he's going to display that in the most overt but-not-actually-saying-it way possible.

He sees Ted and he loves what he sees.

Dorothy and her allusion don't exist in the textual show proper and they're definitely not connected to Trent's relationship with Ted. What is though? The very first words Trent said about Ted that weren't an insult, accusation, snide remark, or disbelieving question:

"I can't help but root for him."

What better way to take Trent full circle than to let him literally wear his heart on his sleeve, shouting in bright colors and with a noticeable vibe that yes, he does believe in Ted Lasso.

[callivich]

The Gallavich fandom on tumblr is great - full of lovely, creative people who are friendly and welcoming. So if you’re new to tumblr or Gallavich or coming back after some time away, don’t be shy, get involved! (I think I’ve got all the current blogs that share work and/or run events but if I’ve missed anyone, please let me know!!)

@gallavichthings - for all things Gallavich, as well as events and writer interviews

@gallavichfanficlibrary - the place for finding a fic or getting recommendations

@gallavichfanartgallery - all the fanart you could want in one place

@ao3feed-gallavich - never miss a Gallavich fic on ao3 with this automated feed

@gallacrafts - a monthly Gallavich themed craft event

@galladrabbles - a weekly Gallavich themed drabble challenge

@shamelesscreatorsnetwork - events, tips and ideas for digital/visual creators

@shamelessbigbang - running the Shameless Big Bang event for fic and art

@mayo-in-the-morning - a Gallavich fanfic podcast

@gallavichprompts - send your Gallavich prompts and get creative inspiration (including a list of authors & artists who take prompts)

@spicygallavichcollab - collaborative event for writers and artists who want to create smut

@bottomiangallagher - bottom!Ian fanfic and fanart recommendations

@gallavich-headcanon Gallavich headcanon questions and meta discussion

@gallvichnanowrimo - a Gallavich themed blog for NaNoWrimo but inspiring posts for anytime of year

@slim-jims-in-this-shit-hole - @gallawitchxx’s spicy and smutty fanfic and fanart recs

@dailymikhailo - your daily dose of Mickey

@iangallaghersdaily - your daily dose of Ian

@usergallaghers - your daily dose of Shameless

@lil-domestic-bitches - a spicy aesthetic Gallavich blog

@gallavichcoloringbook - a place to download Gallavich art to colour

@gallavich-podfic - a place for Gallavich pod fics

@its-a-queer-thing - is running a Gallavich tropes event

@gallavichficfinds - Gallavich fanfic recs and a place to find fics

Every Gallavich Kiss list by @brain-matter

@francesroserecs - a Gallavich fanfic rec blog

@f-f-podcast - South Side Rules - A Shameless Podcast

@gallavichmeta - a place for discussion, meta, and analysis of Ian, Mickey and their relationship

@thegallavault - a fully fan-made, totally free collection of beloved Ian x Mickey fics in e-reader (.epub) format, complete with a custom cover that features fan art made by one of the many talented artists in the Gallavich fandom

@gallavich-fic-club - A community of fic readers and writers, as well as some brilliant fan artists, who love to connect about all of our favorite stories. We run a weekly fic discussion, and otherwise spend our days chatting about all things Gallavich!

Mini Moodboard Story Challenges by @whatthebodygraspsnot - Gallavich picture prompts. What do you get when you put all the pieces together?

@gallapolls - questions related to Shameless

gallavich - private community for Gallavich fans (invite link here)

Updated: 17th August

@shamelessdvdcommentary - a place for authors to share commentaries about their stories

@gallafics - a blog that reviews and recs gallavich fics

~~~

Tags to track: #gallavich #iangallagher #mickeymilkovich #ianxmickey #gallavichfanfic #gallavichfanart

Don’t forget: likes are great but reblogs are the best. Reblogs help share work, likes don’t do that. Please don’t steal and repost gifs, reblog gifs you like or use the gif search function (bottom left hand corner of a post) to include gifs you like in a post. Feel free to write comments in the tags or reply to posts, that’s a great way to show love and also engage with people. There’s lots of people who are happy to chat on here, so feel free to pop into their inbox and say hi 🙂

And feel free to make a #gallavichintro post or a #shamelessintro post to introduce yourself! And check out the lurker’s guide to the tumblr Gallavich fandom.

(p.s. I don’t know if it needs to be said but most people on here, like myself, are adults and only want to interact with other adults so please respect that if you are under 18)

[hereticqueen2000]

Too much time flirting and flitting about GOS2 metas into the wee hours of the night as well as the daily mini obsessing lads to curiosity and questions?

What happens to the rest of Whickber St business etc when the whole demon invasion crazy starts and apparently carry’s over till the folllowing morning?

French restaurant said to be getting busy by 7.

The Dirty Donkey should have a proper bar crowd night.

Mrs Sandwich’s “ladies of the night” should be brisk with evening guests.

[neuroticbookworm]

Current Tag Game

Tagged by my dear friends/mutuals/incoherent scream sesh partners @twig-tea (here), @colourme-feral (here), @blmpff (here), @telomeke (here) and @waitmyturtles (here)

Current Time: nearly 5:00 PM

Current activity: Doomscrolling on social media (not recommended), writing this post (highly recommended, please interact on Tumblr, that's what makes this hellsite fun!)

Currently thinking about: Just watched the IFYLITA finale this morning with my bestie @lurkingshan, so my brain is currently ??????-ing all the different iterations of Yai we got to see (I like that Commander Yai looks more self-assured and confident than our widdle-20-something-lost-and-confused-baby Yai, but, DEAR LORD, The Mustache has to go. Just.. nope. Get that man a razor, STAT). Oh, and also, thinking about dinner.

Current favourite song: I recently watched Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man (Season 1) a few days ago and I have the song from the opening credits stuck in my head on repeat: Caramel / カラメル by Mosawo / もさを。(Original MV with English captions)

(I'm also gonna link the Utsukushii Kare Lyric MV from MBS because I want Kiyoi's pretty face on my post)

I've also been feeling nostalgic lately and listening to some decade-old bangers from my teen years (ah time, thou art a cruel wench)

Patakha Guddi lyrics, translated from Hindi, here

Mogathirai lyrics, translated from Tamil, here

Currently reading: Nothin' but meta posts from the lovely big-brained folks of Tumblrville

Currently watching: Oooooh. I actually wrapped up a lot of live watches and caught up on some incredible shows last week, so lemme do 3 mini-lists:

Recently Watched: Only Friends, Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man, If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo, I Feel You Linger In The Air

Currently Watching: Midnight Diner / Shinya Shokudo, endless reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Community

Next-Up on the Watchlist: I Cannot Reach You / Kimi ni wa Todokanai, Shadow, Dark Blue Kiss, Middleman's Love, Last Twilight, Playboyy, The Whisperer

Current favourite character: Ryuji from If It's With You.

< mild spoilers ahead for If It's With You >

This show did an incredible job portraying two people who have different levels/intensities of desire for one another and I was *floored* when Ryuji responded to Amane's confession in episode 4 with so much care, thoughtfulness and respect for both Amane's desire and his own boundaries. "Please make it one sided for a while" will live in my head rent free for the foreseeable future.

And Amane and Ryuji's conversation at the beach in the finale was another heartfelt and expertly written moment. I deeply adore how Ryuji basically went "I miss you and want to meet you whenever I feel like it, and if that means being a lover, then so be it. Let's date".

So yeah, I'm in love with this highly articulate, fictional, Japanese teenage boy

Current WIP: Ohhhhh man, SO MANY. The most pressing one is a retrospective meta on the Only Friends finale, which I must release into the wild before people move on from the show

Tags: I'm epically late to this one, so I might tag folks who have already done this, so if I do, apologies, friends!

@bengiyo, @italianpersonwithashippersheart, @sunshinechay, @syrena-del-mar, @ranchthoughts, @troubled-mind, @sorry-bonebag, @so-much-yet-to-learn and anyone else who wants to participate. No presh!

[asexualbookbird]

Hello! Do you mind sharing the edible cookie dough recipe you tried ? I've been trying to find it on IG but I trust you more than the 500 random videos I've seen.

yeah doesnt help that they implemented the new "ask meta ai!" shit instead of a proper search

this was the video that kept showing up in my feed in fb AND insta. I did see the original vid too but ignored it because fitness bullshit but I stumbled across enough of Liams videos to think hes pretty decent and transparent.

I did not follow that recipe because I hate almond flour and also peanut butter. I used oat flour instead and vanilla protein powder and nestle mini chocolate chips. I tried the m&ms and it was awful do not recommend tbh even if it WAS that our m&ms were Bad the acid in the yogurt melted the dye off the m&ms and made the mixture soooo gross looking (and if you can taste the dye like i can then its also a bad time!)

I also made a batch this morning without any sugar at all and found i dont need it so will be leaving it out in the future. Oh i had been using brown sugar which i think gave it more of that cookie dough flavor than maple syrup or honey would.

I don't pay too much attention to measurements, I go by consistency, but roughly I use

2 cups of old fashioned oats (i use bobs red mill gluten free oats)

2 scoops of vanilla milkshake protein powder (i honestly just grabbed the smallest container my grocer had, but recently bought the quest brand and will try that next time)

fage greek yogurt, plain, 5% fat (because fuller fat yogurt tastes better! fight me! I'm not doing this for ~healthy~ uwu im doing this for Please Get Protein In Your Body I Beg), this is where I eyeball it. I add more yogurt if it's too thick, a large spoonful at a time.

I put the oats and protein in a food processor, and then add the yogurt, but if you use preground alt flour you can jhst use a bowl. I recommend adding everything a little at a time into whatever is thickest (so if you use peanut butter, add yogurt to that, and then the flour and protein).

Also a friend tried this with regular flour and a non whey based protein and a non dairy yogurt and was. Non enthused. I'm sure if you play around with the flavors YOU like you can find something but I don't think this can be made dairy free tbh but I also tried every DF yogurt I could find and they were all disgusting. So. (also ifnyou use regular flour pls bake it first. but tbh i dont really recommend it bc raw wheat flour just. doesnt add the same flavor oat or nut flours do.)

I'm also curious about using chocolate protein powder and nutella I think that'd taste gr8. Outside if the absurd cost of protein powder, this really is a good base recipe to use if you wanna try messing around with recipes you find online. People may give me flack for drastically changing this recipe but pls I based it off my moms oatmeal cookies all it was missing was coconut flakes lol

[waitmyturtles]

A little weekend update from my corner of drama world over here!

1) On the Old GMMTV Challenge front: I have my very last installment of my Bad Buddy OGMMTVC Meta Series dropping tomorrow morning! What a labor of love this series has been — it’s allowed me to see Bad Buddy in almost all the facets in which I’ve thought about it over this past year in which I’ve discovered Thai BLs, and to apply all the comparative lenses from the older shows I’ve previously consumed. It’s been a JOY, and huge thanks to those of you who have read along each of my mini theses! Tomorrow, I’ll meditate on the emotional openness that allowed Pran to move to Singapore, away from Pat, Dissaya, and Thailand. Stay tuned!

2) I have a very full slate of dramas going at the moment, and because I’m recovering from this GNARLY flu that I got (great job, flu shot), I am not committing to writing meta for every show. That being said, I hauled the first two episodes of The Sign last night; this is actually my first Idol Factory show, and first Billy show, and, uh — IT’S REALLY GOOD. Did NOT expect this. It’s not only coherent — the plot AND the acting are EXCELLENT, Billy and Babe have FANTASTIC chemistry, I love the tomfoolery of friend Yai, and Thongthai and Khem’s cute weirdness in these studly cop bods has me howling. I love this show! I’m so happy to support Saint in his next venture, and I’ll be coming up on Secret Crush on You soon for the OGMMTVC to get familiar with the early side of Idol Factory as well. I would like to see this dude Babe in more shows! He’s REAL good.

3) I’m also not writing about Bake Me Please, and I have to catch up on watching this, but thank goodness for short series that move move move, because I see we have a MingDean ShinPeach smooch in today’s episode, and, yay! The plot is a little whatever, but I think Guide’s underrated as an actor, because he and Ohm also have EXCELLENT chemistry.

4) My god, what’s coming out this week — the rest of Shadow, the premiere of Cherry Magic Thailand. Really wish I had time to watch Cooking Crush, but I’ll catch up sometime on that. The vital ones — Last Twilight, What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and my EOY watch of La Pluie — are filling my heart. Such good shows on.

We keep truckin’ — see you tomorrow for the end of the BBS OGMMTVC meta series!

[stellarumexp]

thinking about a qsmp zine again-

for the love of all things i would love a zine focused on the eggs. each egg (especially the eggs that we only knew for so criminally short a time) getting their own little section with art and fic and other little meta analysis things.

I'd love to see a zine series that focuses on some of the main events. Like a federation focused zine, or a purgatory 1 zine. Imagine a purgatory 2 zine, where each team has a chance to be the focus. A prison zine where we get to see the behind the scenes of so many islanders being in such a small space for the first time since purgatory, if not even longer.

A mini-series of zines focusing on each language group, or even individual character zines. Duozines, or a zine just for the morning crew and their shenanigans. A Philza zine that contains not only QSMP but also Phil's hardcore lore.

If there was ever any interest, I think I would try to make this happen. I've only ever worked the social media and management side of zines but I'd put up with learning everything to make something this cool actually reality.

[aquaquadrant]

Apparently that ask opened my creative floodgates and I accidentally wrote a mini fic at like 11, and now, the next morning, I actually really like it! There are bits in it that I’d love to chat more meta about, but it doesn’t feel right to put them here with it. So here, if you’d like it, is my take on Tango’s first experience in a solo world, informed by my deep love and familiarity with what is probably our closest equivalent to the feeling of hopping into a new world:

Because, Ya’see, I’m a hiker, have been all my life, real, proper backpacking, and that feeling of waking up and being completely removed from human civilisation, surrounded only by wilderness, is very familiar to me. I’m probably gonna sound cliche for a minuite, but there’s a… centredness, sort of, a kind of peace, or something, that touches deep in your bones when you are miles and miles from even the nearest forest service dirt road, when there is nothing but wilderness. For me, that feeling is deeply comforting. There’s a pervasive sense of calm, and silence, and utter absence of anything man-made. After living somewhere that everywhere was either extremely dangerous, or extremely dangerous and populated, I think Tango would find that, the utter peace, so overwhelming.

He probably wouldn’t notice at first, probably even manages to start basic gathering and wandering and such. But eventually, he’ll pause for a moment, and he’ll be hit by the fact that his fist punching wood, and his own breath and footsteps is all he can hear. And he stops moving, stops shuffling feet and rustling fabric, and quiets his breathing, and stands completely still. And there’s… nothing else.

He can hear birds chirping.

And small animals scuttling.

And leaves rustling.

And wind.

And that’s it.

There’s nothing else. No one else.

If he stops moving, there is no player-made noise at all.

Not even the suggestion of it.

And everything else is so quiet. It’s so strange, when you’re used to always hearing some kind of noise, and suddenly the loudest sound is the intermittent breeze, and you realise how quiet the world really is. It is utter silence in the most peaceful way. (It’s my favourite feeling in the world and I still can’t accurately put it into words)

Occasionally, there are birds, and occasionally, there are animals, and it is the definition of peace. There is no one else here. Has never been anyone else here. There is an entire world and he is literally the only person in it.

There is no sound unless he makes it.

There is no one to come up to him, to distract him, to talk to him, to interrupt him. No one to have to lie to.

No one to hurt him.

No one will ever make any other noise here. If he stands completely still, only the birds and the wind will be heard. And if he doesn’t move, there will never be a player-made noise again. It will just be the wind and the birds and the animals. And it is so, so quiet. And yet so alive.

He shifts his weight and his clothes rustle and it sounds like the loudest thing in history. The birds and the wind are still so calm.

(No one to keep him from hurting everything)

(And yet something in the silence feels so right, so centerd and grounded and relaxed. Feels like the universe is saying it will take care of him, will wrap him up in the silence and make him part of the peace and rightness.)

(That shouldn’t be so terrifying)

He’s never been somewhere so quiet before.

He thinks he might be feeling every single emotion.

His knees give out.

He sits on the soft dirt,

On the never-trampled grass,

And he cries.

HEY…… OUCH??? oh, this… this was a great read. i love how you perfectly captured the atmosphere with simple yet descriptive words, it’s very impactful 👌👌👌 and GOD poor tango, you absolutely nailed the emotions. ty so much for sharing!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I was worried about sullying your original post because it's really good by itself but I've had a lot of thoughts about the Job mini-sode and how it compares to the the Final Fifteen so here goes:

The original reason I even thought to compare them is because I thought the track that plays while they’re talking on the beach - Fallen Angel sounded a lot like one of the songs at the end - either The Biggest Decision or The End?. I haven’t been able to pin down what parts exactly but they all scratch something in my brain.

There are a lot of the same beats between both scenes though.

Aziraphale resigns to a fate that he thinks is about to befall him. He obviously doesn’t want to, but recognizes that he has to. In Job, it’s because he feels it’s the appropriate punishment. In the FF, it’s for a myriad of reasons (to make a Heaven worthy of Crowley, to simply survive, to stand for what is Right - whatever your cocktail is).

Crowley implies that whatever decision he’s made won’t be good for him. “I don’t think you’d like it.” vs “We don’t need Heaven. We don’t need Hell. They’re both toxic.”

In Job, Aziraphale says that it has to be done because he’s thwarted the will of God. In FF, he’s actively working as soon as he hears about the Second Coming (if not sooner) to fight the will of God - or at least the VOICE of God.

“Nothing has to change.” - As far as Crowley is concerned, nothing has. Aziraphale has still chosen Heaven over ‘our side,’ which while it isn’t a phrase that’s used in the Job episode, I would say is the early seed of that concept.

What is Aziraphale? - In FF, He’s an angel without a halo. He’s going to be the Supreme Archangel, but the truth is, he’s exactly what Crowley tells him in the Job scene, and he knows it. He’ll go with Heaven as far as he can in order to meet his end goals.

Lonely- Pretty self-explanatory.

Some other little things that I noticed is the way they’re framed at the end of the Job mini-sode is similar to the end of episode 6. Now they’re shown from the back in the Job but they visually take up the same sides of the screen. There’s a large distance between them, and there’s a stark contrast in how much light is on Aziraphale’s side of the image (even the water on his side sparkles more) compared to Crowley. You have the same effect with the brightness of the elevator vs the darkness of the car. As an added bonus in the Job mini-sode, Aziraphale’s shadow covers Crowley, which again goes with a lot of the thoughts people have had about Aziraphale making this choice to go to Heaven to protect Crowley.

So what I’m saying is that I’m not completely on board that Aziraphale might Fall, but the scenarios are similar enough to my brain that it’s a distinct possibility. 

good morning my lovely!!!✨

gosh, this is such good meta!!! i have to admit - my audio processing is utter shite; i can pick up a leitmotif after a couple of watches, but otherwise unless i listen to the music in isolation, i won't pick up what particular song might be playing in a scene etc... so the fact that you even picked up similarities between Fallen Angel and the two big ones is insane to me!!! im rubbish at it!!!

i have to be honest with you on this too... when i wrote that post, i didn't even really look in any depth at the narrative comparison between job and the final fifteen - it just simply struck me that we've had a blatant reference to aziraphale falling (even if it was only by his own fear) that, as far as we know, hasn't been reckoned with again in the rest of s2 (im still 👀 at the BOL mention in ep6 but that's by-the-by)

so basically the fact that you've gone through it to pick up these similarities is so cool; thank you for doing it and sending it to me, because its a heck of a lot to think about!!! now i don't think aziraphale is going to fall in the sense that we'll actually see him fall, become a demon, and that's that etc - i think more the threat of it, potentially to the point of being physically/figuratively (who knows how the fall itself actually works, but im not taking crowley's work for nuffink) pushed, and some kind of incident that prevents aziraphale from actually completing the fall.

ultimately, we haven't actually - imo - seen anywhere where crowley has singlehandedly saved aziraphale directly when aziraphale absolutely needed saving (ie there was no way aziraphale could have saved himself), and i wonder if this might be such an occasion where we see that happen...?✨

[raayllum]

There are those among us that see problems but no solutions. There are those of us that see a problem and recognize a tool is needed. There are those that can determine which tool is needed. Those that know the very tool exists but not how to obtain it. There are those who can in fact obtain it but do not have a clue of how to use it. Then there are those that see the issue, recognize the tool needed, can obtain and manipulate the tool, and fix the problem. Those people are rare and special, no doubt.

Larger caption taken from a Hot Brown Morning Potion podcast episode regarding Viren’s philosophy / view behind dark magic, but had me thinking about how I’ve always seen Callum as very solution oriented, although I’ve framed it as him having Fixer Tendencies than phrasing it in any other way, but... It truly is another larger similarity he shares with Claudia (to a degree) and with Viren in particular. 

Viren encourages inciting violence because he sees it as the only solution; Callum rejects violence because he sees it as part of a cycle that needs to be broken; but they’re both still focused on rooting out solutions. They just massively disagree on what that solution (both on identifying what constitutes as a problem and understanding how to fix the problem) is. 

[kiwiana-writes]

3, 8, and 18 for the meta writer asks! And I hope the rest of your day goes better than the too-early morning. 💕

[Fun meta asks for writers]

Ugh, sadly it did not. Zooms that could have been emails, and all of that. ❤️

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Ooooh this is an interesting question because I write so much short slice of life stuff that I do often just throw that stuff out there as little, like, mini ficlets! I have been sitting on a great joke my spouse made while watching the film where I was like "god I need to write that into a fic" but I just recently figured out what I was doing with that one, so now it's in the WIPs.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes, but there's also stuff I like to read that I don't like to write (looking at you, anything that requires serious world-building.)

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

At some point after it's finished publishing we should talk about the outline @ships-to-sail wrote for the Actor AU, because it was really good and when I decided the structure of the fic needed to match Much Ado About Nothing I ended up gutting a ton of it. Luckily she loves me (allegedly)

But for now let's talk about something totally unrelated: the Schitt's Creek 50 First Dates AU and the plotline I lowkey accidentally abandoned (that shit had no outline and no plan other than, like, the film and the show) and always meant to come back to in one of the alternate POV one-shots but never quite got around to. Totally set it up and then ditched it, whoops. But basically, Ronnie was part of the volunteer rescue team that found David and Alexis after the car accident, so she was WILDLY protective of David and deeply fucking suspicious of Patrick.

I went and looked because I was sure I'd scribbled a bit of this down and I'd actually written like 500 words of Alexis' POV! So have those below the cut:

Alexis’ head hurts.

That, in and of itself, isn’t weird. Between hangovers and jet lag and being knocked on the back of the head while being kidnapped — a totally amateur move, and a sign that her kidnappers really weren’t investing properly in their henchmen — she’s more than used to waking up with a throbbing pain in her temple. What is weird is that those days are behind her. No more taking the jet to Europe because she’s bored, no more trips to the embassy to pick up a new passport and a disguise so she can get across the border. So she doesn’t know—

“Alexis?”

The voice is vaguely familiar, but she doesn’t want to open her eyes yet, sure that when she does the full ache is going to turn into something much more immediately uncomfortable. 

There’s a sharp rapping sound, far too close to her ear, and she winces. 

“Shit, I think she’s waking up. Alexis? Come on, open those eyes for me. You can do it.”

In the distant background, she can hear sirens, and her eyes fly open in shock. 

“There you are, princess.” Despite the usual sarcastic drawl, when Alexis turns to face the window, Ronnie’s expression is full of concern. “Ambulance is nearly here. Think if we get this door open, you’re up for getting out, or do you want to wait for them?”

“David.” It’s all coming back now — the trip to Elmdale, fighting over the music, the cow. “Where’s David?” She turns to the passenger seat, ignoring the way it makes her ears ring, ignoring the pain radiating up her left arm. Her brother is slumped motionless in his seat, the window on his side of the car shattered and half the door crumpled in. There’s a huge gash across his forehead and wildly, irrationally, Alexis’ first thought is: He’s going to be so mad he can’t do his skincare routine. 

“Alexis, listen to me.” She doesn’t realise until Ronnie’s voice cuts through the fog that she’s sobbing his name, and she sucks in a shuddering breath. “We don’t wanna move him until the ambulance gets here, in case he’s injured his neck or his spine. What about you? What hurts?”

“Um.” She closes her eyes, trying to concentrate on anything other than the panic clawing its way up her throat. David is so still. “Just my wrist, I think. And a headache.”

“I think you might have whacked it on the steering wheel.” Ronnie’s eyes flick up to her forehead for a moment. “You’ve got a bit of a shiner, but I think we’re okay to get you out.”

It takes Ronnie and a man she doesn’t recognise — Elm County volunteer firefighters, they tell her cheerfully — to get the driver side door of the Lincoln open. By the time Alexis is standing on the side of the road, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and her now throbbing wrist tucked carefully against her body, she can see the ambulance tearing down the road towards them. 

She won’t let any of them look at her until David is safely out of the car. Ronnie stands next to her the first hole time, her hand on Alexis’ shoulder far more gentle than Alexis could have guessed it would be, while they cut open the car door and strap up his neck before manoeuvring him onto a stretcher. 

[synesindri]

i love being a person at a meta level because today i went to work and got really hyped about eating onion rings and had a mini mental breakdown and engaged in mild alcohol abuse and then came online to hornypost. and tomorrow morning i have a dentist appointment. like. what

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (8-14 Jan 2023)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰Neverwhere (London Below #1) (Neil Gaiman, author & narrator) - listened to the (very excellent) BBC audio drama of this a few years ago but it'd probably been 20 years since I actually read it. doing a mini book club with a bff!

🥰 This symmetry is not without meaning (aesc, pearl_o) - (pt 4 of TLBT series) 63K, cherik age difference AU, just another great story of them working out their relationship (plus some very good sex)

🥰 Flight Risk (Ayes, itskleo) - steddie rock star/bodyguard AU, fun characterizations, really enjoyed!

🥰 'Lucky Lives' Omegaverse (Tsuki) - 210K, original fic, 4-part series, interconnected dystopian omegaverse romances - very likeable characters with some great worldbuilding details; I would happily read more stories in this universe. I read this in like 2 days. Sometimes the heart wants what it wants!!!

💖💖 +208K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

The Code (randomizer) - Galaxy Quest: 3.5K - Yuletide 2022; a love letter/meta message to fandom in general

NYC Health Code, Article 161.19 (monicawoe) - Venom, MCU: Venom meets All Caps, 5.2K - allCaps meet Venom and more importantly, VENOM'S CHICKENS

I Got You Babe (monicawoe) - Venom, 3.5K - how Venom got its Sonny & Chery

you can take the heart from your chest to use as a compass when you are lost (fragilecapric0rn) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 29K - craigslist missed connections AU with all the found family at thanksgiving in a cabin

a slow morning (wearing_tearing) - Stranger Things: Steddie, 325 - basically a 325 word ode to Steve Harrington's chest hair and I AM HERE FOR IT

Pursued by Bear (Zenaidamacrouras1) - MCU: shrinkyclinks, 19K - shrinkyclinks, UFC & Shakespeare convention fic with lots of quotes and queer theory! (yes, inspired by that tweet)

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Uncoupled - s1, e3-8

Knives Out (with commentary)

Big Eden

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

ICYMI Plus - The Untalented Mr. Ripley

Desert Island Discs - Cate Blanchett, actor

Off Menu - Ep 120: Miriam Margolyes

Off Menu - Ep 76: Claudia Winkleman

Happy Sad Confused - Ke Huy Quan

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Chicago Bridge Houses

Switched on Pop - Too Fast? We’re Curious: The sped-up remix phenomenon

Happy Sad Confused - Neil Gaiman, Vol. II

Shedunnit Book Club - The Advertising Adventures of Dorothy L. Sayers

Vibe Check - The House of Cards Is Gonna Crumble

ICYMI Plus - Who Is Alix Earle And Why Are People Mad at Her?

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Mail Rail

99% Invisible #520 - Mini-Stories: Volume 16

Weather Geeks - Lightning In Lake-Effect Snow

Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein - Fern Brady

Into It - Harry & 'M3GAN' (Plus: What's Taylor Garron Into?)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Berkeley South Asian Radical History Walking Tour

Renegades: Born in the USA - Race in the United States

Of Mice And Men And Monsters - Ch. 0: Prologue

Of Mice And Men And Monsters - Ch. 1: Frankenstein - Part 1

Off Menu - Ep 92: Sue Perkins

Renegades: Born in the USA - American Music

Renegades: Born in the USA - Traveling the U.S. & Finding Home

You Must Remember This - Porno Chic and The Brief Heyday of X Ratings (Erotic 80s Part 1)

It's Been a Minute - What's worse than heat damage? Hair discrimination

Off Menu - Ep 109: Nicola Coughlan

ICYMI Plus - RuPaul’s Drag Race Has Finally Logged On

Hit Parade Plus - Thinking About Tomorrow Edition

You Must Remember This - 1979: Bo Derek and 10 (Erotic 80s Part 2)

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

If I Were A Carpenter [Various artists] {1994}

The Duran Duran Tribute Album [Various artists] {1997}

Duran Duran [Duran Duran] {1981}

Rio [Duran Duran] {1982}

Seven And The Ragged Tiger [Duran Duran] {1983}

Notorious [Duran Duran] {1986}

Big Thing [Duran Duran] {1988}

Liberty [Duran Duran] {1990}

Duran Duran (The Wedding Album) [Duran Duran] {1993}

Thank You [Duran Duran] {1995}

Medazzaland [Duran Duran] {1997}

Pop Trash [Duran Duran] {2000}

Astronaut [Duran Duran] {2004}

Red Carpet Massacre [Duran Duran] {2007}

All You Need Is Now [Duran Duran] {2011}

Paper Gods [Duran Duran] {2015}

FUTURE PAST [Duran Duran] {2021}

A3

Doo Wop

The Roots of Rock & Roll

[xtrablak674]

Debilitating Mental

Good morning Ms. Stone, while at the supermarket this morning I realized that my mental health can be monitored directly by seeing how often I am journaling and taking self portraits versus when I am not. Something that has been hard for me to determine is when I am having a depressive slump. I've gotten better, but this is something more tangible which makes it clearer. • 8:32 AM

Good morning. Is the correlation that you take more pictures and journal more when you're feeling in a better state or is it the inverse of that? - Ms. Stone iPhone) • 8:42 AM

Its exactly that, when my mental health is better I journal more and do my little mini-photoshoots when I go to the supermarket. The screenshots show the last three months and June. June and July I was nearly writing about something everyday. But these last two months my writings have continually diminished. • 8:52 AM

I haven't heard from you as much either.

Has anything specifically happened or do you think this is just a low swing? - Ms. Stone (iPhone) • 8:53 AM

The default of my depressive phases are withdrawal.

This is the thing that truly drives me crazy, my last few months have been relatively the same, no dramas, traumas, upsets or anything. And I understand that depression needn't have a specific trigger. Its just hella-frustrating when you're doing a good balance of exercise and diet and you take a depressive tumble right on your face. • 8:57 AM

I was contemplating whether I wanted to even post this discussion, but Ms. Stone asks such good questions, and I love the very meta-nature of using this mini-blog as a way of gauging how I am doing mentally.

None of this was really news to me, I used to be a window-seat demon, perched up there from the time I woke up until the sun stopped shining on my bare backside. Over the last two months, after I get in from my walk its like I never leave the bed, using it a a chaise after making it up. Taking in my television shows on my back as opposed to jacking into my Yamaha speakers for a more deluxe audio-experience.

Seriously, I thought I was just going through a new phase in my apartment where I just wanted to be more horizontal through the day, but over the last week or so I have felt my energy diminish so much that once in the bed, it was a trial to get up and leave it, even for the most innocuous of errands like flipping an album over or getting a drink of water.

I am known to have seasonal depression on top of my garden variety depression or dysthymia, and albeit we have literally moved from Summer into Fall, my mood change is usually relegated to the Winter equinox, when the amount of sun we are getting severely changes. I have noted also during the last couple of weeks I have been sucking up sun like Krypton's favorite last son, making sure that I was always position on the bed to catch the most rays.

The one thing I haven't done is talk about this depressive dip, and it was only my realizing my journaling was directly related to it that I shared it with Ms. Stone. I realize she has her own struggles with mental health issues and I thought my struggles could possibly shed light on her own, and assist her at some future time.

The other thing is I don't really see the point, the only other folks I am interacting with are the children, and I don't think it appropriate for me to bring up such a burdensome topic on folks who are still learning to navigating their own bodies and brains. Then there is that annoying purview of novices in the mental health arena, always asking you how you are. Which isn't really helpful. Life-Kit on NPR did a really good episode of how to approach depressed people or maybe it was anxious folks and interact with them.

I realize that I have become more isolated as I have gotten older, and generally speaking I don't have an issue with that. The thing that drives me a bit crazy is the fact that I don't have any control over when a depressive bout will show up and even with all the tools Ms. Kennedy gave me, I can sometimes still find myself at a loss, no matter how well I was doing previously, and this can be extremely frustrating.

[Photos by Brown Estate]