#mischief

[humansarespaceorcsforeal]

Human Observation Log 53

Several crewmates have witnessed Human Carter thanking the automatic doors and food replicators, as well as apologizing to a table after running into it. When asked why they did such a thing, Human Carter said it was because they’re ‘Canadian’. Human Rielly informed me that Canadians are part of a religious sect that worship inanimate objects. The offerings made to the silicon fern now make much more sense.

Carter’s Journal: entry 89

I accidentally apologized to the table again after running into it. I don’t know why I keep running into it but it’s driving me crazy. Next time I might just kick it out of spite. Several crewmates have started thanking the replicator, which I think is actually very sweet of them. I’m still feeding the plant in the Galley. Jonson thinks it’s weird but I swear that thing is actually an alien. The food disappears every time and I’m not about to be eaten by a carnivorous fern several hundred lightyears away from home. If I wanted that I would have stayed stationed on Galzabab.

Rielly's Journal: Entry 92.

So I have about half the crew converted to Canadianism and the other half mimicking Carter out of respect for his beliefs. I can’t wait to see what happens when Carter finally loses it and breaks the table. I’ve been moving it a little every day. They still think the plastic fern is alive too. I’ve been eating all the offerings and today Jonson tried to explain that it was plastic and not an alien and half the Galley started yelling at them for challenging Carter’s beliefs. Jonson just sat there gobsmacked for a good ten minutes. Another great day in space.

[brightlydust]

local royals glad to have an inhumanly large bed

[tasoiano]

I HAD to draw this scene from Loki! The episode was perfect 💚

[lepetitdragonvert]

Mischief (détail)

Artist : Ida Rentoul Outhwaite

[vane-sya]

Mischief by MidnightDaydreaming

[hobgobknowsbest]

[neonpaperlanterns]

Hii! I have a not-so-detailed request! Hope you don't mind! Can you do Dogday (already with his legs stiched) with a short reader? I think that standing he'd be pretty tall, so let's say reader barely reaches to his chest. Reader is not a child, though! It's just that DogDay is inhumanely tall, and that combined with someone who struggles to reach for stuff that's higher up than usual makes the size difference pretty evident. Thank you!

[A/n: I derived part of this story from personal experience. My partner is taller than me and while logically I know those bowls fit better on the top shelf it doesn't make it any better.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Too Big and Too Small

“You did this on purpose.” You’re standing in your kitchen, staring up at your cupboard. You had come in here because you had wanted something sweet. There were cookies on the bottom shelf, you distinctly remember putting them there because you knew you would want them soon. But somehow the box has made its way up to the tippy top. 

Which inherently wouldn’t be a problem but your step stool is conveniently missing. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Narrowing your eyes you cut a glance at what you're sure is DogDay’s faux innocent expression. Or at least you intended to but instead your gaze settled on the faded yellow fur of his chest. Your lips purse as you lean your head backwards. He’s smiling at you, ears perked and tail swishing back and forth languidly. 

The sight made your lip twitch. He looked so happy and sweet. It was making it difficult to hold onto your indignation. But you were gonna try. 

Putting your hand on your hip you used the other to point accusingly at the cookies.

“You put those up there.” It was said as a statement.

“Pfft, no. Why would I do that? I bet it was Kissy.” He waved his hand about, deflecting.

“Kissy would never.” She might but you weren’t going to agree with him. “And don’t say Poppy because even with the stepstool she couldn’t reach.” You watched as his face lit up.

“Then maybe it was a joint effort.” DogDay bounced on the balls of his feet. Clearly this was the only explanation because he would never do something like this. It’s getting harder to hide your amusement. Realistically how could you ever be annoyed when he looked this happy? The answer was you couldn’t. 

But!

You really did want those cookies.

“Alright, sure, whatever,  whether the girls did this or not. Could you help me? ” You heard him chuckle, it was a pleased sound. Like he got away with his mischief. Which you guess he was getting away with it, considering. 

DogDay beamed as he bounded over to the cupboard. He easily reached the top shelf. Honestly he was almost too big for the kitchen. His head nearly brushed the ceiling and he had to hunch over to get through doorways. Really your home wasn’t suitable for him or Kissy. Maybe you should move? Find a better place for them. One where they could move around freely. Where they could go outside without concern. 

“Here ya go Angel.” DogDay chirped, bringing you out of your thoughts. He held out the box of cookies proudly. 

“If ya need me to get anything else for you, no task is too tall.” a large hand came down to encompass your head, ruffling your hair. You smiled though you had to wonder if he put anything else where you couldn’t reach. Not that you minded. 

If putting things where you couldn’t get them and playing your knight in shining armor made him happy, you weren’t going to ruin that for him.

“Thank you. Could you go grab Poppy and Kissy. I got something I want to ask you guys." Nodding vigorously, DogDay took off down the too narrow hallway. Figure hunched as he rounded the corner, disappearing in to the rest of the house.

Yeah moving was a good idea. They deserved it after all.

[bodyswapmischief]

Glitch in the System: The Gif Prison

(This story is for @axeegliter. The plot was inspired by an idea he proposed to me. I hope you enjoy the story!)

Tyler looked down at his body. “Where ... I'm I.” He spoke as his mind felt cloudy. He saw that he was wearing a wrestler singlet. It looked funny on his body because he wasn't athletic enough to be wearing this, or so he thought. He wasn't scrawny or fat. He was just average; a little bloated from last night's big meal. And, he was perfectly fine with that. Even though he never worked out, he wasn't weak. He could see himself developing a dad bod as he got older, but he didn't mind. He loved doing other things with his time instead of spending his whole life at a gym to look like a Greek statue. So, as Tyler looked down, he couldn't help but be confused. “What the fuck am I wearing?” He snapped the straps of the spandex uniform. 

His father came walking in. His father was the opposite of him. He was a coach and personal trainer all of Tyler's life. “You really did no training? Tyler, this is the big match, and you look like this! No muscle! You are gonna get your ass kicked.” It was still hard to think for Tyler. The world around him was moving so fast, but his body and mind were moving so slow. “Dad? What are you doing here? Where am I? What match? ... I never joined the wrestling team.” Tyler thought back about his early high-school years and how his father was so disappointed that Tyler lied about trying out for any team. 

“It's too late to cry about this boy. Time to get your ass beat like a man of your word. You agreed to this fight ... time to see it through. Just walk to the ring.” His father spoke sternly. Before Tyler could speak, he was in a long hallway with a bright light at one end. With every step, he could hear the roaring cheer of an audience. An announcer began to introduce him, and the cheering grew louder. He felt a pit in his stomach as he got closer to the light. He knew thousands of eyes would be on him, but he didn't want that. He never wanted to be the center of attention. He took a step into the light, and a blast of loud music made him jump.

Tyler jumped out of bed. The hallway was gone. The bright light was gone. He looked down at his body and saw his shirtless torso. The wrestling singlet was nowhere to be seen. He was getting a bit sick and dizzy from the quick wake-up. But, he realized the loud music was pounding against his wall. Tyler groaned when an energetic person began to talk as the music started to wrap up. “Welcome, Bros! Today, I'm gonna run through a 2 hour workout that you can get done at home to keep you toned on days you can't get to the gym for that sweet pump!” 

Tyler sat on his bed, his heart slowly calming down from the intense state of panic. He realized how hot he was and wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Fuck, that was an intense nightmare.” He finally gained enough energy to get up and deal with reality. The loud noise of the TV was filling up his room. He got up and began to stretch and found a shirt to put on. He felt gross from the sweat that was on his body caused by the panicked state of the nightmare. He gathered some clothes to go take a shower and get changed. Doing one last yawn he walked out of his dorm room and got ready to face what he suspected would be on the other side of the door.

Tyler instantly rolled his eyes as he saw that he was right. He saw Ryan shirtless in a pair of workout shorts. The thuds of his heavy muscular body shook the room as he followed the exercises done on the online video. Ryan was a himbo jock that Tyler was, unfortunately, paired up with this year at the dorms. It wasn't that Ryan was a bad roommate for the most part. It was more that they had nothing in common. Even worse, Ryan just couldn't figure that out. Ryan would try to get Tyler to hang out with him. He invited him to come work out or join him at parties, but Tyler often rejected his offer. The main time they would hang out was when they had nothing better to do and a game was on. Although, Tyler saw some benefit of having a himbo for a friend. It was through him that he found his girlfriend, and he did help Tyler's social game.

Ryan muted the video. With his signature smile, the jock began to speak. “Yo! Ty, you up! Wanna join me on this workout!” Tyler looked at Ryan like a grumpy cat awoken from a deep slumber. “No Ryan ... Ideally, I'd like to still be asleep. Why are you blasting this video at 6:10 in the morning.” He spoke like a parent scolding a child. Ryan rubbed the back of his head. “It's a holiday and the gym was closed ... I need to get my morning work out in.” He blushed as he explained his thought process. 

“Yes, Ryan, it's a holiday ... and don't you think people would love some rest.” Ryan sighed as he pinched the top of his nose. “Look, just lower it! I don't want other people complaining about the noise. I'm gonna take a shower cause apparently I've done enough sweating in my sleep.” As Ryan spoke, he was caught off guard as it looked like the man in the video was looking at him. Even though it was muted, it felt like the man was listening to him and analyzing, as he continued to work out. 

“I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking ... I just need to get my workout in.” Ryan apologized. “Just keep down.” Tyler said, walking out to go to dorms shared restroom. Looking back at the screen, he watched as the man teasingly took off his shirt, almost mocking Tyler's lack of fitness.” 

Tyler would come back to his dorm and see that his friend was still working out. He tried  to avoid looking at the video. He couldn't explain it, but it felt like some sort of survival instinct was telling him not to look. He went back onto his bed and scrolled a bit on his phone. Looking at the time, he knew that he had to meet Nora for lunch later that day. The best part of it being a holiday meant no classes and more time to spend with his girlfriend. But that was still hours away. He yawned from waking up so early. “I could still get an hour or two of sleep.” He thought to himself. 

He fell into the void until he jerked awake. “What time is it?” He groaned. His head felt strange. It was like he couldn't think. He swung his arms to grab his phone. His arms felt heavy. He brought the phone to his face and saw scribbles where the time would be. He looked out the window and saw that it's dark. He decided to speak to his phone instead. “Siri what time?” He struggles to think about what to say. “The time is 6:00 A.M” Siri responds. “Can't be right. Why me talk weird.” He worried, as his thoughts seemed to he filtered out to talk like some kind of cave man. 

He gets up and tries to walk over to the restroom. But, his body moves to the dorm’s shared room. Tyler tries to fight, but his body is acting on its own. He turns on his phone and starts a video. And then he sees his body. He looks like a dumbed himbo version of himself. He screams in his head. His worst nightmare is happening. He tried to scream for help from Ryan, but he wondered if that idiot would even know what to do. His body starts talking by itself. “Hello! And welcome to me video ... we work out, and you get ripped like me!” He says as idiotically as possible. He starts to work out. He internally screams in pain as he feels his body working to the limit. But, after a while, it begins to feel good. He wanted to see how much more pain he could push through. And then the workout alarm echoed throughout the room. He tries to turn it off but can't. “Why no stop!” He panics.

Then he opened his eyes and shot out of bed. His heart was racing. He looked around his room and found his phone. He grabbed it and looked at the time. Heart still racing, he realized it was all a dream and he had 30 minutes before he was supposed to meet up with his girlfriend. He got up and looked at himself. He was in his normal body. He felt some relief. But, a part of him was also disappointed. He felt weak. “No ... stop that ... you are happy with your body ... you don't need to be a gym head. It was just a nightmare. You didn't like it. You don't like it.” He spoke to himself as he got up and put on some casual clothes and went to the cafeteria to meet up with Nora. 

Sitting at the table waiting for Nora, Tyler couldn't stop thinking about his nightmares. How easily he could have been a jock if he listened to his father. Sometimes, he was jealous of how simple-minded Ryan was. He'd admit that in those seconds, being buff wouldn't be the worst thing ever. But, then another thought entered his head. The images of the man from the workout video. He couldn't shake him out of his mind. A warning deep in his soul screamed out. “Damn, get a hold of yourself ... what is wrong with you?” He whispers to himself. 

Mid thought, Nora walked up on him. “What's on your mind?” She says as she wraps her arms around Tyler, from behind. He jumped from the surprise and turned around. He wrapped Nora in his arms and gave her a kiss. “Nothing ... Today has just been strange. How have you been?” He smiled, trying to stop his mind from racing. Nora talked about her morning. She was happy that she could sleep in and finish some homework. As she talked, she couldn't help but notice that Tyler kept slipping in and out of his own mind. “Are you sure you are okay?” She said with a tone of concern. 

“Um ... yeah ... sorry.” Tyler slowly swam back to reality. “It's just ... I don't know ... today has been weird. Like I've had two nightmares today, and they both kinda revolved around the same thing.” Tyler began to explain. He began to go into detail. As he talked, he tried to find any meaning. But, he was also a little bothered by the fact Nora was looking at her phone. “Are you even listening?” He sighed. “Yes? I can look at my phone and listen. Your first dream could be like some daddy issues.” She teased as she looked up from her phone. “And, maybe the second dream is you just being annoyed at Ryan for waking you up too early.” She tried to be helpful. Tyler sits in the following seconds of silence

“Damn!” Nora let out as she almost choked on her drink. “What is it?” Tyler looked up at her. “It's nothing...” Nora tried to move the conversation along. “Come on, just let me see.” Tyler begged. “Fine ...” Nora said a bit hesitantly. “It's just some fitness influencer ... a gif of him flexing. He's been all over social media. I just didn't expect to see him on my reel.” She explained. Tyler mind snapped as he watched the same man from the video Ryan was watching earlier today. He felt jealous ... an emotion he hardly felt.

“Oh ... I see ... you think he's hot cause he's ripped ... not like me.” He pouted. “Come on, Tyler, don't make this something it's not. I like you and your body ... the gif just got me off guard.” Nora sighed. “Yeah but I'd bet you'd like me more if I was ripped ... If I had a body like Ryan. If I was the athlete my dad wanted to be.” Tyler got up and started speaking loudly, making a bit of a scene. “Tyler I don't know what's up with you today ... but knock it off. You know, none of that is true. You are good the way you are. Knock it off before you ruin the day.” Nora said, getting more annoyed at the situation. “Well Nora! Maybe I don't want to just be good. Maybe I want to be great.” He said as he stormed off. 

Tyler rushed back into his dorm. “Okay asshole. You want to mess with me. Well fuck you. I'll use you to get ripped ... see your stupid videos and show that it's nothing to fucking brag about. I'll show that you can be ripped and not be some fucking attention whore.” Tyler cussed as he started pulling up the same YouTube video that Ryan on. He stopped himself aa he realized how much his blood was boiling. “What the fuck is wrong with me ... this is not me. Why am I so mad? Why is this getting under my skin?” He said holding his head in his hands and trying to fight his thoughts.

The video began to play, and the man began to speak. “It's okay, Tyler ... I'm here to help.” Tyler was shocked as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw that the world around him turned into a gym. The man from the video was there looking into his eyes. “What the fuck ... this is another dream ... I just gotta wake up.” Tyler panics. “Maybe it is ... maybe it isn't. But, either way this is your home now.” The man smirked. Tyler felt frozen in place.  “This ... it's not possible...” Tyler continues. 

“Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, it's okay. Trust me ... I'm here to help. I was just like you. Just an average guy ... I got trapped in this same room. Now look at me ... online health influencer, a personal trainer, and more. People love me, and I love the attention they give me. I love that by watching me and my body, I give them hope. And, now I offer you the same experience.” The man smiles and flaunts his body.

“B...b...but I don't want this. I just want to get out of here.” Tyler stuttered. “I think I phrased something wrong. This is not your choice. The choice has been made for you. But to be honest, you wouldn't be here if this wasn't some you wanted. I've been watching you. What was it you said ... you'd use me to get ripped to show me up? And, what about your dream? Wouldn't life be easier if all you cared about was getting a good pump like your friend. And, you always looked up to your father ... don't you want to finally make him proud.”  The man smirked. The words stung Tyler's mind. The man was right. “No! You've done something to me! I didn't want this ... I like who I am. Why did you put these thoughts in my head.” Tyler yelled. The man lightly repetitively slapped Tyler's face. “You'll see in time ... this is what you wanted. This is what you were meant to become.” The man walked away and began to vanish.

As the man left, Tyler finally felt control of his body return as he fell to his knees. He looked around for an exit, but there were no doors or windows. He began to rush around the perimeter of the gym, but nothing showed itself to be a secert way out. He was trapped. He banged on the walls and cried out to be let out. The room let out a ringing sound, and his body froze up again. He was not in control as it moved towards a set of dumbells. He began to lift them. His arms worked out until he was sore. A line appeared on his chest, and he fell to the floor as he regained control of his body. Another ringing sound filled the room, and his body went on autopilot. Another set of reps was done. The pain increased as his arms still didn't have time to recover. Another line appeared on his chest. The process continued over and over. The lines on his chest were changing, becoming obvious that they were roman numerals. Tyler was trapped in his body internally, screaming for it to stop. He was fighting hard to gain some control. The number on his chest reached 72, and he fell to the floor. He tried to lift himself up, but the pain in his arms prevented him from doing so. 

He looked up as he heard footsteeps approaching him. “What the fuck did you do to me! Let me out! You sick bastard!” Tyler screamed through the pain and exhaustion. The man laughed. “And, why would I do that? I just came to say you are doing great! The audience loves you.” Tyler choked on his exhaustion. “Audience...” The man chuckled. “You still haven't pieced it together. You are stuck in a gif. That number is the view count. People are sharing you as we speak. You'll be on workout forums. You body will be blasted on thirst trap forums. I might even share your clip on my personal channel. And, everytime someone watches you ... this gif ... you will be compelled to do the same movement over and over again. “Fuck you! I'll find a way out of this ... I'll kill you.” Tyler growled. The man walk over and squated down. “Well good luck with that, soon to be big guy.” He patted Tyler's back.

His body froze up once again. He continued the process. But, it wouldn't stop. The number on his chest kept getting higher. He could feel the muscles in his arms and chest rip and heal. The tears of the pain were disgused by the sweat running down his face. He hated it. He could only stare at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't know how long he'd been here. But, he already saw changes in his body. His arms looked more toned. Hours ... days ... weeks passed. Tyler wasn't sure as keeping track of time was impossible. The number would finally reach over 1,000, and he stopped. He fell back onto the floor. His arms and chest burning in intense pain. “Nobody must be watching!” He coughed out after not talking for what felt like an eternity. 

He needed to get up. This was his time to find a way out. He couldn't take much more. He tried to lift himself up, but the pain was too great. His heart beat faster he used thst pain to fuel his rage. He needed to push. And, he did. He used all his strength to lift himself up. But, he was surprised. It didn't hurt. It felt good. A good sore feeling. As he stood still, the intense pain returned. He screamed out. He let the pain fuel him again and pick up the dumbell, and threw it against the wall, hoping it would crack and reveal an exit. But, the wall remained undamaged. Tyler winced in preparation to feel more pain from what he did. But, again, that good sore feeling filled his body. He lifted the other dumbell and did some reps. The intense stabbing pain decreased. “Fuck! It's like my body is addicted to working out. If I stop ... it's too painful.” He went to a leg press machine and started working put. He sat there and started thinking of a plan. But, before anything could be done ... a ringing sound filled the gym and he was back into the gif loop.

The number kept rising. His body was becoming more addicted to lifting. Thinking became pointless. The sore feeling relaxed his mind. There was no point in thinking of friends, family, or a way out. He was trapped. It could have been years at this point. He didn't know if this was real. Maybe he was dead, and this was hell. The only thing he could do to keep himself sane was count every set and rep. Then the number would stop, and the pain would come back. He'd stuggle to the nearest machine to work out ... to relieve himself from the pain. Over this time, his body would transform. He had to assume it had been years as he looked older.  His arms began to curve into thick biceps and blouderish shoulders. His chest jutted out in a shelf of muscle. His torso chiseled itself as sweat washed down his body. His thighs thickened with hard muscle. And, his legs began to get well defined. The number on his chest just continued to rise.

Something finally snapped in Tyler's mind. As the number grew on his chest, he realized how many people watched him. How many people lusted over him. How many people saw his gif and got inspired to work out. He felt proud. The pain began to feel good. Working out felt as necessary as breathing did. He'd look in his reflection and loved the man he saw. After the last round of gif play throughs. He walked up to the mirror. The pain felt good. He flexed. The man from the video appeared behind him and rubbed his chest. “I think you are ready for the next step.” He smiled. 

[aaruaalislost]

i just found an old sketch of Stiles that i still really really like

[sisaloofafump]

I know it’s a red superman crest standing in for an asterisk, but every single time I read it as a heart.

“After the… incident with the JLA ~~ ❤️”

Interesting insinuations

[fishcrow]

Full of mischief and

and pizza

Posted using PostyBirb

[mushroomyhouse]

The hero we deserve! This clear vinyl sticker by @doozical is perfect for the silly gooses in your life!

🐓 mush.house/doozical 🦢

[peitalo]

MISCHIEF — elusive, monstrous demon foe of deep dark lore, and YOUR best friend! ✦

[fuzzpup]

😮‍💨🥾

[mxiize]

YIPPEE!! THE GOOBERS!!

I reached the tag limit LMAO- tee hee

This is like a half repost because Hijinks was kinda ugly in the last one-

[hobgobknowsbest]

fuck your beauty standards and concepts of normalcy

you know what's really attractive? An overwhelming desire for wanton destruction.