#mom said she wanted a fish picture so happy mother's day

[ojaiyart]

🐟 🐟 🐟

[sstormyskyess]

please i love your single dad soap😭 moresingledadsoapplsthankyougoodbye

uhh i may have gotten carried away but that's okay because i love him too. more single dad!soap enjoy

After that first playdate with Abigail and your nephew, it was fair to say that Abigail absolutely adored you. You ended up getting a call from John a few weeks later and he asked you if you were free to come watch the girls while he attended to some business on base. Obviously, you agreed without a second thought. Abigail had made a good first impression on you just as much as you had for her, so you were happy to help.

To say that she and her little sister were a handful would be a bit of an understatement. They were very well behaved, there was no question of that; it was just that the both of them were very energetic.

Abigail was generally occupied with her doodles, but it wasn’t rare for her to get excited by something and all of a sudden she’s bouncing off the walls. Ashley, on the other hand, had to be some kind of escape artist because no matter what you did, she could manage to get herself into the most random places. Regardless, they were always a treat to take care of.

John always made sure to remind you how grateful he was that you made yourself available for his and his daughters sake. You quickly stopped him from trying to give you monetary compensation, even though he was adamant about it at first. Once you managed to pull him off the idea, he started doing all sorts of nice things to repay you: offering to drive you home from work, getting you little gifts, taking you out for dinner or drinks.

Eventually, he started to invite you over just because. He tried to mask it as the girls wanting to see you, but quite honestly, he was more excited to see you than they were. He wasn’t expecting to have you become such a good friend to him, but your friendship seemed to progress naturally, all on its own.

The two of you would spend time planning excursions for Abigail and Ashley. His favorite outing had to have been the trip to the aquarium; you had taken Abigail to the touch pool full of small sharks since he was too scared to (something that you teased him relentlessly for) and he got to see Ashley be entranced by the colorful tropical fish swimming around on the other side of the glass tank. He relished seeing you and Abigail having such a fun time while he entertained Ashley nearby. He was all smiles the entire day, so much so that his cheeks were practically aching by the time you went your separate ways.

After a few months, you and John were seeing each other at least a few times a week. It was the happiest he’d been in a while, partially because Abigail was coming out of her shell for the first time since her mom was out of the picture. It made his heart swell to see her so cheerful when, for a while, she had an air of gloominess over her head.

When Ashley’s first birthday rolled around, he felt it only right to invite you to the small party he planned. You got to meet more of his family, his mother and father, his sisters, and a few of his friends that he told you were from the squad he worked with. It was both amusing and embarrassing to have people mistake you as a couple, but he would be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart flutter a bit. You made his heart flutter a bit.

When he came home from a small get-together with his mates one day, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of domesticity witnessing the intimate scene that met him when he walked through the door. You, Abigail, and Ashley were all curled up and asleep on the couch together, with you holding Abigail to your side and cradling Ashley to your chest. It was a beautiful sight, the peaceful looks on all of your faces. You shifted a bit in your sleep and leaned into his touch when he pet the top of your head, making him smile softly.

That was when he realized when he was falling, hard and fast. He hadn't felt like that in a couple years, still stuck on his wife, but now? Now he was going through the motions of a boyish little crush again. He wanted to fight it, but he knew himself better than that; he knew that he was a goner.

He just hoped he was able to stop himself from scaring you off. You wouldn't reciprocate the feelings he had for you and it would ruin your friendship.

Or so he thought.

He had no idea that you were silently yearning for him. He had no idea that whenever you were heading to sleep at night, you couldn't get your mind off of him. He didn't know you were cuddling your pillow, imagining it was him. He would've never imagined you were just waiting for his texts or calls, so excited to spend time with him.

It all came to a head one night when an unexpected snowstorm rolled in, draping a blanket of snow overtop the city and polluting the air with wet snowflakes that made the roads slippery. Abigail had been excited since it meant school would be canceled the next day, but you were slightly worried. You knew you wouldn't be able to make it home in this weather, but the thought of staying the night flustered you. Despite the fact that you and John had lost track of time on many occasions and you were with each other late into the night, neither of you had spent the night at the other's house.

You insisted that you didn't want to intrude and would find some other way home, he shut that down immediately. The very moment you suggested the idea, he got deadly serious immediately. You weren't going anywhere, for your safety.

When you realized you weren't going to be leaving, you resigned yourself to sleeping on the couch, but that idea was shut down as well. You would be taking the bed, whether you liked it or not. But you felt so bad for booting him out of his own bed, so eventually he compromised with you and simply joined you in the bed.

The both of you were blushing messes, and you had to turn away from him to hide your flustered expression once the lamps were off and the streetlights were the only light illuminating the room ever so slightly.

You woke up the next day with John wrapped around you, holding you to his chest with his face buried into your shoulder. He was warm, practically a human heater, just like you imagined he would be. His breath brushed against your neck and his palms were flat against your stomach, having somehow found their way under your shirt at some point during the night. His arms were strong, hard muscles crushing you close to him, almost protectively.

You sat there in his arms and felt him breathing evenly behind you, his chest rising and falling against your back, soothing you back to sleep. You had another hour of sleep before you woke up to the bed dipping under some new weight in front of you. You blinked your eyes open to see Abigail hovering above you shaking her dad's shoulder to wake him up.

"Papa! Papa, wake up, come look at the snow!" She squealed, a big bright grin on her face and her dark brown hair messy, probably having just woken up. You smiled at the sight, her excitement contagious. You felt him yawn behind you and he pulled one of his hands out of your shirt to rub the sleep from his eyes. "I'll be up in a minute, sweetheart—" he was about to sit up, but your weight in his arms stopped him from going anywhere. His eyes widened at the sight of your sleepy form looking back at him with your sweet little smile. You couldn't help but chuckle at the way his cheeks turned pink and he went speechless for a few moments before Abigail kept shaking him.

"C'mon, Papa!" She urged him again, snapping him out of his embarrassed stupor. You laid flat on your back after he slipped his arms out from under you and sat up and stared up at him, enraptured by his shirtless, disheveled form. Somehow, all the nervousness you had felt the night before had dissipated, even when your eyes met. He had to have seen the adoration in your eyes or something, since his own softened as soon as they met yours.

The rest of your morning was spent watching Abigail and John playing out in the snow from the porch while you bounced a bundled Ashley on your leg. You didn't notice his fleeting glances the whole day, but he definitely got scolded by Abigail for being distracted when they were making snowmen.

[kosegruppie]

SKAM Season 3 Epilogue, translated

I had a request for the English translation of the SKAM Season 3 epilogue, which appears in the script, but was never filmed. It takes place the day after the Christmas party, when Isak goes to meet Even's parents for the first time. I have done my best to translate, apologizes for any errors. 😅

SATURDAY 17 DECEMBER AT 17.33

SCENE 1 HALLWAY ISAK and EVEN stand in the hallway outside EVEN's apartment. EVEN smiles: Are you ready? ISAK smiles. I'm ready. EVEN kisses him EVEN: Just a little warning, my mom is pretty intense. ISAK: Okay? EVEN: If it gets too much and you want to leave, just take my hand and squeeze it, ok? ISAK nods: Okay EVEN: Like this EVEN takes ISAK's hand and squeezes it gently but firmly. ISAK smiles: Like this? ISAK takes EVEN's hand and squeezes it really hard.

S2 APARTMENT EVEN opens the door to the apartment (Same picture as in S3 E2) EVEN: Hello? EVEN'S MOTHER looks out of the kitchen, she is a short lady with lots of blond curls and marked smile lines. MOTHER happy: Hi! THE FATHER, a tall man who looks like EVEN only without hair, looks out from the living room. THE FATHER: Hey, welcome IMPROV greeting and enthusiasm, both the MOTHER (SIGRID) and the FATHER (JAN) go right to hug ISAK, EVEN apologizes, says that they are a hugging family, that he should have been warned in advance. ISAK says it's just nice. They are hanging on, THE MOTHER asks if they are hungry. EVEN says they won't have any dinner. SIGRID: Come in then, sit down.

S3: LIVING ROOM EVEN and ISAK sit down on the sofa. THE MOTHER sits down in a chair and studies ISAK with admiring eyes, it looks like she is about to burst with happiness. EVEN gets embarrassed. JAN: Would you like something to drink Isak? A beer? ISAK a little confused: Eh ok, yes, thank you. ISAK looks at EVEN, EVEN smiles SIGRID: Are you sure you don't want anything to eat then? Dad made very good fish soup? EVEN: No thanks, we won't be here for long. SIGRID: No, no, but it doesn't take that long to eat some soup, does it? Where are going, then? EVEN: Nowhere THE FATHER enters the room with beers SIGRID: So it’s not anything you need to get to? EVEN: No, I’m just making sure that Isak is presented to you in small doses at a time, so you don't scare him away. SIGRID laughs: Yes JAN: Sounds good. THE FATHER opens the beers and hands them out. JAN: Cheers, nice to finally meet you, Isak. ISAK: Yes, thank you. Same. Everyone toasts and takes a sip. There is silence for a moment. SIGRID is having a hard time creating a good atmosphere again. SIGRID: Even has told us so many nice things about you. ISAK a little surprised. Oh really? EVEN: Now you're exaggerating, I haven't said that much. SIGRID: No, no, just little things, you also go to Nissen, I understand? ISAK: Yes!

SIGRID: You've been going there ever since first year, haven’t you? ISAK: Yes, but I‘m only in my second year, so SIGRID come on: Yes, that's right, you're 17! ISAK: Yes She glanced anxiously at the beer ISAK is holding and looks over at JAN. ISAK registers the glances, and gets stressed himself, he probably shouldn't have agreed to beer, he thought they knew that he was 17, he didn’t mean to deceive them. EVEN puts his hand on ISAK's. ISAK looks up at EVEN, EVEN smiles calmly. JAN: Did Even tell you that I also went to Nissen? ISAK: No, he didn’t JAN: Yes, Russ ’89 ISAK nods: Cool It gets quiet again. ISAK looks around. The MOTHER wants a good atmosphere SIGRID laughs: It is not so exciting for them to hear about our Russ time ISAK discovers a photo on the wall ISAK: Is that Even? SIGRID looks up and smiles happily: Yeahhh, wasn't he cute? ISAK smiles: Very cute SIGRID suddenly realizes: Do you know what I found the other day?! She gets up. JAN: Yes, it was cool to see it again EVEN a bit unengaged: What did you find? SIGRID: Your old album, wouldn’t it be fun for Isak to see? EVEN: No, mom, it's not fun, this is what I'm talking about, can you please chill, you’re going to scare him away.

EVEN puts his hand on ISAK's SIGRID rummages through a bookshelf: Now you have to give up, no one is scared by childhood photos, are you frightened by childhood photos, Isak? ISAK looks at EVEN and grins before shaking his head. ISAK: Getting startled by childhood photos, I'd really like to see that. SIGRID has found an album: There you go, Isak is certainly not frightened by childhood photos. EVEN sighs, MOTHER plops down next to ISAK and opens a small green album. She flips through the pages and shows: Even with a painted face. Even is Lucia with candles on his head. Even has caught a crab. Even has fallen asleep on the toilet. ISAK laughs charmingly and looks up at EVEN, EVEN rolls his eyes. The mother turns the pages: A young girl has her arms around Even on a sled in the snow. She looks like Even’s mother, only a lot younger. ISAK looks up at SIGRID. ISAK confused: Is that you? SIGRID: It's my little sister, June. ISAK: Ah, you look alike. EVEN: We are very similar. ISAK laughs

ISAK: I meant your mother. ISAK looks at EVEN for a response, but EVEN doesn't laugh, ISAK gets confused, SIGRID tries to smooth it over SIGRID explaining: Even had a very close relationship with his aunt when he was little, they were best friends. EVEN corrects: Soulmates ISAK nods and studies the picture again. June is wearing a huge white bubble jacket. Even's little head sticks up through her arms. He has a blue knitted hat pulled down over his eyes, it almost looks like he is drowning in her. Both smile happily at the camera. ISAK: How old is she? SIGRID: She's probably 21 there, wasn’t it taken a few days before she left us? EVEN annoyed: No, that picture is from my 7th birthday. SIGRID: Yes, that's right, sorry, so a couple of months before that, she died in April. EVEN still annoyed that his mother is imprecise: April 2 SIGRID: Yes. ISAK: Condolences.

EVEN: You don't need to offer condolences, she got better. SIGRID: Thank you, Isak. SIGRID sends EVEN a stern look. EVEN takes in her mother's gaze EVEN: What? Didn’t she get better? SIGRID annoyed: I guess nobody knows, because she's not here to answer that. SIGRID claps the album again and stands up. SIGRID uneasy: Does anyone want a gingerbread cookie? JAN solution-oriented: I'd be happy to have a gingerbread cookie! EVEN annoyed: We gotta go SIGRID doesn't answer, she disappears into the kitchen, EVEN stares after his mother. ISAK looks at EVEN. He puts his hand on EVEN's hand. EVEN turns and looks at him, ISAK smiles calmly. ISAK: We can have a gingerbread cookie? EVEN becomes calm. He nods.

I love, love how much this scene shows about their relationship, how it’s Even trying to comfort Isak, but really it’s Isak comforting Even. 🥺 If you read fic you have probably come across stories involving Even’s Aunt June, who was also bipolar and committed suicide when Even was 7. 💔 This scene is where that information came from. Also, I love seeing Isak in a scene with a happy family, considering how strained his relationship is with his own family. I understand why this scene was never filmed, but I am really thankful we have it in script form. ❤️

[annasmafroo]

SO, I said on this blog that I might post Mimir's full backstory. Here it is, and enjoy a nice picture of Mimir and Kiz fishing at the top of this post xD

Mimir's story begins back in the city of Nerosyan in one of the city's many brothels. She is born to a tiefling sex worker named Raneesha and already has an older brother named Kiz with whom she has different fathers. Raneesha right here:

It was common for women in the brothel to just get rid of the child after their birth (if it was too late to get rid of the pregnancy itself) but Raneesha was insistent on keeping her children: she believed she could earn enough money to get out of the brothel and provide for both of them on another job. Despite Raneesha's best efforts to be a good mother (and both of her kids genuinely loved her), life in the brothel has left its scars on her kids' souls from seeing violence and sexual scenes. In the end the young woman was beaten by one of her clients and her death was inevitable, seeing this, brothel's owner sold Kiz and Mimir to a street gang when Raneesha was still alive. She died without seeing her kids ever again.

The gang Kiz and Mimir ended up in seemed to be some mere fake beggars and scammers: they would force kids to beg for money in the streets and then take all the coin away. But there was an even more sinister side to this gang. One night Kiz overheard how gang's elders wanted to blind Mimir because people tend to give more money to the blind or otherwise disabled children who are begging. That was the moment Kiz realized he needs to run away with Mimir. He is the big brother and needs to take care for his sister since she has no one but him. Mimir at first, of course, cries a lot, she misses her mom, but Kiz tells her she will soon come after them. Mimir stops crying. But not because she believes her brother's words, no, she just sees how upset he is when she's sad. Maybe if she's good and happy all the time, it will make his life easier at least at some degree. After running away from Nerosyan the kids after a long journey reach Kenabres and Kiz decides to settle there. He is, obviously, very young but he tries to get his hands on any work that could bring him money to feed his sister. At first they're sleeping in abandoned houses and barns but then Kiz manages to rent an apartment-like couple of rooms in a house in a lower-class district but that's just enough to keep them warm and at least somewhat protected. Since the young age Mimir felt like a burden, despite Kiz always stating that she is a child and should just play and be happy, but the girl decided for herself she'd be helping her brother as well and started running small errands for coins: hand out flyers, hang neighbors' laundry, deliver letters. Bards always fascinated Mimir. She could watch them as a tween, trying to replicate what they're doing on the stage. Seeing this, and already having some experience with wood carving Kiz made an attempt to carve his sister her very own first mandolin. It turned out rather sloppy but Mimir was the happiest girl in Kenabres the day he gave it to her.

Mimir's dream was to become a famous bard. She had a pretty voice, she learned to play her mandolin, she learned to dance. But only dance, she learned her way to dance with fire. But no matter how captivating her moves were, it never brought her good money.

No matter how upset Mimir were at the thought of giving up on her dream, she just swallowed it and came to work at the bar instead, mainly being in the kitchen, washing dishes or on many occasions cooking something nice. This could be her regular life if only she wasn't chosen for something greater than she ever thought.

TRIVIA:

Kiz is very protective of Mimir and would do anything for her. She isn't mad at him at all for being over-protective but feels like she is always in his shadow, like he is always doing something and she does nothing. When she becomes a leading figure in The Crusade she feels like it might be her chance to make a difference. During the Crusade Kiz is one of her companions and he is a shapeshifter with demonic aspect.

Kiz didn't like Woljif at first and just straight up hated him after he run away during the gargoyles ambush. He was strictly against accepting Woljif back to the group but Mimir allowed him to stay anyways. When Kiz noticed (and it was too obvious since the very beginning) that something is clearly going on between Woljif and Mimir he wasn't ecstatic either and had to just cope with the fact yet later he warms up to Woljif and accepts him as a part of their family.

Mimir loved dearly all the carved wooden toys Kiz made for her when she was a little girl and she is very sad they all were lost during cultists' attack on Kenabres.

That's all for now! here's Mimir eating a watermelon

[stupendouspeanutstarlight]

Undiscovered Future - Pt. 5

OH MY two posts one day! Sorry to disappoint, but it's not that special ; ( The post isn't very long just under 1k, but I wanted to write a little more, and the place I ended seems like a good ending point!

______________________________________________________________

Waking up the next day next to all of her family filled Savanna’s heart with love. Trying not to disturb anyone, Savanna managed to untangle herself from Jake’s arms. Moving to sit outside the pod and enjoy the tranquillity of the silent village, she took a deep breath and relaxed. Savanna had never thought she’d meet her dad, and hadn’t expected to find a family as good as this. Although happy, Savanna couldn’t help miss Nali and the swamp village. Her features fit in much better here, and her body is designed for the trees, but she couldn’t help miss the daily duties of fishing and swimming. Sitting contently, swaying her body in the morning breeze Savanna heard movement. Neytiri came out of the pod and sat next to Savanna. Both sat silently enjoying the view of the rising sun and seeing the village come to life. Neytiri couldn't help observing the young girl, her skills were vouched for by the Marsh people, and she saved her sons lives in battle, but she still required training on some of their ways. 

Turning her body to face Savanna, Neytiri spoke, “Child, you are a fierce warrior.” Savanna became bashful at the sudden compliment and turned to face Neytiri, “but you must learn some more skills! I would like to teach you, if you would take my guidance?” 

Beaming Savanna lunged forward to hug Neytiri, “Of course! I would be honoured to learn from you! I will do my best to be a wonderful student.” 

The excitement and adrenaline Savanna had at the beginning of training was beginning to wear off as Neytiri taught her to ride a Pali. Savanna’s mother had compared them to an animal on Earth, a horse, but Savanna had no experience riding an animal on land. She had tamed an ikiran, rode an aquatic serpent that was called a serli, but was not able to master the pali. She has impressed Neytiri with her bow, spear and tracking skills, but this was something she just couldn’t get. After many attempts, the only thing Savanna had accomplished is eating an inhumane amount of mud. Laying on her back in a pile of mud Savanna grumbled, “I think I’m going to die from mud consumption!” 

Walking over to stand above the teenager wallowing in self pity, Neytiri crossed her arms. She couldn’t help but smile, Savanna was so much like Jake. A man who tamed Toruk Makto, but struggled to learn on a pali. “Stop whining ma child. Get up!” Lifting Savanna’s muddy body off the ground and dragging her towards the Pali. Neytiri placed Savanna’s hand on the creature's neck and said, “You must be one with her, feel her emotions! You are rushing like a child! Try again.” 

Hoping back onto the pali, Savanna decided this was the time, she connected the bond and took deep breaths. She pictured the pali calmly walking towards the water, and she did. Savanna pictured running towards the edge of the field, and she did, but in her excitement she forgot to focus and toppled into a bush. Neytiri rode over on her own pali, she was laughing at the poor girl. “I almost had it that time!” 

“I know sweet girl, I know.” Lowering herself from her pali, Neytiri approached Savanna and helped her onto her feet, “You will get it perfected soon.” 

Familiar voices approached and both the women looked over to see Jake and Neteyam approaching on their own palis. Neteyam noticed his mom first and sped towards them, but when he got closer he saw her appearance Savanna, “You are so filthy!”

Grimacing, Savanna looked at her arms and legs, and she was caked in mud. “It’s wonderful to see you as well, Yam!” Her tone laced with sarcasm, Savanna flicked mud at Neteyams face. 

“Ew, Savanna that was uncalled for!” 

“You’re right Neteyam! I’m sorry, can you forgive me?” Walking over to Neteyam as innocent as she could, she yanked him off his pali and into a mud pile. The two began to wrestle in the mud, sliding around and hissing at each other. 

Jake, arriving to both his eldest children squabbling and covered in mud, looked at the fond smile across his mates face, “Ok you two, cut it out. Go get cleaned up!”

After cleaning up in a nearby pond, Neteyam and Savanna playfully shoved each other as they raced to get back to where Jake and Neytiri waited. When they arrived their joy was quickly broken as Loaks voice came over the comms, “Come in, come in”

“What is it boy? What’s going on? Where are you?” Jake shot Neytiri a nervous look. The one day both his responsible children were busy training, he didn’t want to think about the trouble Loak was getting into. 

“Avatar bootprints… We are out near the old shack.”  Savanna and Neteyam both froze, they could see the anger building in Jake and the worry in Neytiri's eyes.

“Do not engage! Loak head straight back! Who are you with?” 

  “Spider, Kiri… and Tuk.” Hearing Tuk’s name Neytiri gasped and hugged herself, clearly becoming overcome with worry. Neteyam noticed his mothers distress and went to try and soothe her. 

“We are coming, Loak, get out of there!”

When the four of them were almost in the area of the old shack a new voice came through the comms, "Hey Sully, miss me?"

_____________________________________________________________

Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul

[red9]

what was luis' upbringing like? what did he think of it while he was young, and what does he think about it now that he's an adult?

              When looking back on the early years of his childhood, Luis would have nothing but fond memories about his life. It was simple, yes, but he was happy. He had his grandfather to thank for all the best parts of his youth, he owed everything to that man. His spark for science, his love for literature, his bright creative imagination- all of it stems back to his grandpa. That man was his whole world, and someone he looked up to, so when he lost him, he really lost a part of himself he could never get back- his grief was insurmountable to say the least.

              They didn’t have a lot, but what they had he was content with. That quiet life out by the lake, spending many years growing up learning to fish and hunt to survive on his own, having a natural love for fantasy books his grandfather would bring home.  Looking back on his childhood, he had to respect him for what he did, knowing that it was a difficult task for any grandparent to have to deal with.  

              His mother died giving birth to him, and the sad part of it all was that she loved Luis, dearly. She often spoke to his grandfather about how wonderful and talented he would be, what great things he’d do for the village, maybe be a doctor or go out into the rest of the world and explore. Luis took after his mother, not just in face but attitude and aspiration. Why, when his grandfather would look at Luis, he’d also see his daughter still reflected in those bright childlike, wonder filled eyes. She wanted nothing more than to see Luis grow, not caring whether or not his father was in the picture or not. It’s clear that at some point his mother was married, hence Luis’ full name being Luis Serra ( father’s surname ) Navarro ( mother’s surname. ) However, it’s clear he didn’t stick around after the birth of Luis, or even left just prior to said birth. This child was the reason she was gone, after all, considering him more of a curse and a burden than his son. Why his grandfather took full responsibility in caring for him. Luis was the last piece of his daughter he had to hold onto, and when the rest of the village mourned the loss of her, his grandfather was the one person who was Luis as a blessing- because her memory would live on through him. 

              Socially, Luis, despite his bright eyes and happy personality, was really one that spent most of his time alone. He didn’t have many friends in his youth, instead turning to his books where he could dream of being a knight and a hero, ignoring the reality he was subjected to. People knew him as that kid that killed his mom, other kids not being as kind to the loss, planting these thoughts in his mind that maybe he was different- maybe there was something wrong with him. So where most children would run around and play together, he’d only go into town with his grandfather, watching the others play from afar or do farm work while he’d have his nose in a book. This wasn’t to say he didn’t have the occasional friend here and there, but for the most part he enjoyed his alone time with his imagination and dreams. I imagine at some point down the line, Luis’ father died- most likely working in the mines. ( That's something I'll probably elaborate on another time for those who are interested.  )

              He never blamed his grandfather for getting sick, did not blame him for leaving him so soon. If anything, when leaving, he felt a resentment for a village that never really cared for them at all. When his grandfather was attacked by that wolf, came into contact with plaga for the first time in the village's history, in his eyes no one cared. He blamed himself for not being there, helping him hunt that day, thinking maybe if he had gone along with him, he could have avoided being attacked. So here he was, a young boy, constantly going back and forth from the heart of the village to his grandfather’s house, doing everything in his power to care for him and bring him medicine. Then one day he left when his symptoms were getting worse, his grandfather often pacing around in a cold sweat, talking to voices no one else could hear, and to get him out of the house, ordered Luis to go pick something up in town. It was the last time he ever saw him- for when he came back, the place was up in a pillar of smoke thanks to Mendez. So many stood around, but no one tried to save the old man from the burning building. He could remember Chief Mendez stopping him from rushing in to try and save him. It was then that resentment grew, his whole life changing in that moment. His grandfather was one of the kindest people in that village, always offered to help others, was loved by so many, but when he needed others he was left to burn. He didn’t understand it, but that night watching his childhood go up in flames it changed the way he saw the world. He left that night, and as we know pursued his career in science, went on to be the brilliant man in Umbrella up until we know him in the game. 

              Looking back on his childhood, I think we can look at that single line he has- “I led a pretty shitty life.” In a way it’s him summarizing everything. He was the reason his mother was dead, he was the reason his father didn’t love him, he was the reason he was an outcast, he was the reason his grandfather died, and because of that he joined Umbrella, Los Illuminados, and did terrible, inhumane experiments with little care for human life when it comes down to it. He knows it was wrong, looking back on all of it, losing that compassion for others he held as a child, the parts of him his grandfather loved, the part of him he got from his mother. But looking back, on those few years of youth when it was just he and his grandpa? He gave him the best parts of his life, and I know on his worst days he longs for that nostalgia. The only happy memories he ever had in life were out by that lake, with that old man, and if he could talk to him one last time, he’d thank him, and tell him he loved him, and wished things could have been different. He knows his wouldn’t have been proud of the things he did, the monsters he created, why at the end of his life he tries to make up for that, feels guilty, hoping he can do one thing right before he dies.

              It’s sad the way some characters are born with tragedy in their blood, and Luis is one of them. Las Plagas is the whole reason his life was set in motion, his grandfather, his career, coming back to the village, dying trying to take the amber- it’s been his entire life. His grandfather died because of it, and in a way, he himself died because of it as well. Anyway- yeah- he loved his childhood, at least the good parts of it, and I think like anyone, there’s a longing for simpler days- a time where life was simple. He wished some things were different, wished he could have met his mother. But what he did have, thanks to his grandfather, he wouldn’t trade for the world.  He gave him his idealistic views, let him dream he could become anything, and for that he wouldn’t change a thing. During the end credits when both the old game and this one would roll, we get a glimpse into what the village was like before everything went bad- and that's truly how I imagine Luis remembers the village. That was his home- not what it's become under Saddler's rule. Just a shame life couldn’t stay that simple. @tastyitchy

[ventya]

the mystery of the universe - Harringrove WIP

a/n: i hope u guys like it, this is my FIRST harringrove piece (and it’s a WIP sorry i could not miss out on harringrove week)

tags/warnings: fluff, angst, UNEDITED

AU idea where canon! Steve gets thrown into a parallel universe at end of S3 where Billy is alive and he gets the chance to befriend him to falls deeply in love with him. It feels right to be here, to be with Billy to be in this universe that was in the future where they could be together and could celebrate each other, where they could marry each other. Life was great, there was no upside down and Billy seemed less angry, less haunted and when Steve met Billy’s mother it all made so much sense. 

But Steve’s body can’t handle being there for much longer and it breaks Steve’s heart, he’s dreaded this because in his universe Billy is dead. His Billy is dead he didn’t want to go back to that universe. He couldn’t and when he cried to Billy about it Billy laughs:

“The stars were aligned for us, Harrington, the universe brought us together the day I died and now it’s ready to take you back.” They’d look up at the stars, the humbling stars. “And I don’t know if it’s cruel or a blessing.” Steve put his head on Billy’s shoulder, tears have dried and he gripped tighter into his hand.

“Both,” he mumbled pressing a kiss on his warm skin. “Can we pretend for the rest of the week that it isn’t happening? That it’s not taking me back?”

“I don’t think you can handle that.”

“What why?” Sure Steve was a bit of a cry baby but he wasn’t always like that. He could pretend, he wanted to pretend and be happy again like the last 8 months.

“I wanted to purpose to you.” Steve’s heart stills. “I even brought a ring.” Billy laughs at himself fishing out a small box out of his pocket. “I know it’s silly, even mom said that but she still got all excited about it. So I thought maybe it’s not crazy and I knew college was an issue and-but now this whole universe thing too so I-”

“Yes.”

Billy raises a brow.

“Yes, I want to marry you.”

Billy stares at him, eyes burning. “Steve you can’t I-”

“I want to marry you Billy,” Steve holds out his hand, so Billy puts on the ring and they pretend for this whole week that Steve wasn’t going to disappear at the end of it. It might have been the best week of them all. They spent it around town, driving through the state, celebrating, swimming, skinny dipping even at night, kissed every moment they wanted to, made love, in the car, in bed, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, at the lake. Everything they did felt magical. They pictures every chance they got.

“Billy!!” Steve wanted to hide away when Billy had the camera out right after he stepped out the shower. “I need as many pictures of you as possible or I will think I’ve went crazy and imagined this hot guy.” They took pictures together, so many pictures.

“So I’m just some hot guy.” Steve challenged.

“Hot guy who happens to be the love of my life.” Billy said back looking at the pictures. Steve’s heart fluttered and he jumps at him to kiss him. When they day finally came Steve’s body felt exhausted, tired out and had a nose bleed. Billy hovered over him when he puked, rubbing his back.

They drove back to the mall where it all started, where they had met that fateful day months ago. Steve looked down at the golden band around his finger. Billy had Jimi Hendrix playing softly. Steve felt at ease, the headaches might still be there but his heart felt at ease, complete. He wouldn’t spending the rest of his life like this.

When they walked through the mall he felt light headed almost stumbled on his own feet. Billy wrapped his arm around his waist to help him. They came to the spot where Steve came from on his first day in this universe. It was the same spot he was in when the mall was a complete wreck. It was a small janitor room, they got into it.

“I remember I turned on the lights on and off 3 times.” Steve reaches out for the light and Billy stops him.

“Wait I...” Billy had difficulty to find his next words. “I want you to promise me something.” Steve blinks.

“Of course,”

“Can you promise me that you’ll move on? That you’ll be happy and not cry so much. Because I can’t- I don't want to think of you crying over there.” Steve’s aches.

“Billy-“

“You’re too pretty to be crying over me,” Billy cracks a grin creasing Steve’s soft cheeks. “You deserve to be happy. You will be happy, you will be able to move on and have a good life, yeah?” Because Billy saw the heartbreak in Steve’s eyes when he realized that he had to go back, he heard Steve crying in the bathroom, he calmed him down when Steve woke up crying because of the nightmares and he watched Steve scream his lungs out in the rain when the realization that he had to go back. Billy didn’t want Steve to live his life like this. 

“And you?”

“I will move on too, okay?”

“Don’t forget me,” Steve feels selfish, but Billy just grins widely amused.

“How can I ever forget the love of my life?” Billy whispers leaning forward to kiss Steve. “I’ll be grateful that I got this weird out of my universe boyfriend that fights monsters in his.” Billy said tapping his chin. “I think I have the coolest boyfriend of all time.” Steve looks down at their hands, both of them wearing the golden bands. Steve smiles, with tears in his eyes but he smiles so Billy smiles too. Together they count down the number of times Steve presses the light.

“Don’t forget me, you’re boring boyfriend.” Billy says going in for one last kiss.

“Never.” Steve promises. Billy smiles and Steve saw the tears in his eyes. This was their goodbye. Three. It was pitch black and suddenly it wasn’t, but Steve  was alone. He was in bloody sailor outfit and his face ached. He stumbled out of the janitor’s room.

“Hey, kid we need you to get out of here!” A man in uniform helped him the ruined Starcourt mall and he stumbled into the cold, ambulances everywhere.

“Steve!” It’s Robin with concerned eyes.

“How long have I been gone?” Steve asks.

“I think like 10 minutes.” She replies with a shrug and Steve feels sick. He was gone for months, he was with Billy for 8 months but apparently he was just gone 10 minutes. 8 months of his life were reduced 10 minutes of in this universe.

“Billy…?” He asked he couldn’t bring himself.

“Max hasn’t stopped crying.” Robin said sympathetically. Steve’s heart aches fingers reaching out to his ring finger but then he looks down. His heart drops. His ring wasn’t there. Steve turns around to the mall pushing through the officers and running away back inside ignoring Robin’s calls for him and the avoiding the officers. He runs to the janitor’s room again and turns the light looking around widely before dropping to his knees to look around the floor more closely. 

“Steve?! What’s wrong??” Robin had come to him. He looks up to her and Robin was surprised at how distraught Steve looked.

“My ring, my ring.” The one thing that he thought he could keep from his lover as a memory of their love. Steve pulled on his hair, his head dropping to the floor tears hitting the tiles, “My ring.”

Billy was in the janitor's room alone suddenly, he turns on the light and he feels eyes sting and his heartbreak slowly. He looks down at his shoes when he spots the golden ring that he had given Steve on the floor. He got on his knees grabbing the ring with shaking hands and Billy sits on the floor body leaning against the door. Holding into the ring in his hands, he cries by himself. Nothing had ever hurt Billy like this, it felt like his heart has been ripped out and shed into pieces. He curls into himself and cries, and cries and cries for his lost lover.

Funny that Steve said Billy died in his universe because it feels like Steve has died here too.

[narrators-journal]

Persona 4

Characters: OC characters, narukami, Margaret, Elizabeth and Marie.

The birds and the bees: now the trouble is worst.

Narukami's parents wants to see his son after spent a whole year with his uncle and cousin, they Just dind't expect find his son in a Very compromising situation with 3 womans.

Hello dear author, i Glad you liked my ideas and i want to try something more interristing, like your mother and father caughting you in the act. For the mother i imagine her lack of reaction and walking away while the father feel proud for this. Sorry for the long text and Feel free to creste yu's parents caughting him receive a Nice cock workship prom three womans in lingeries while he is covered in lipstick.

Once again Sorry for the long text and be safe, healthy and Alive♥️♥️

This one is a little rough, but I think it’s a little chaotic and amusing. Which is fitting this little trilogy of scenarios. I hope you agree, and I hope you like my slapped together versions of Narukami’s potential parents!

“Do you think your brother would be happy to see us after so long?” Narukami’s father, Haruto, a tired-looking ravenette with professionally neat hair and misty grey eyes asked as he followed his wife into Dojima’s home. “Yes, I’ve already called to inform him of our plans to visit. He said that he’ll be at work for most of the day and Nanako is at school, but we’re free to wait until he gets home.” Mai explained, her long silver hair pulled up into a bun, and her captivating blue eyes alight with good humor. “Plus, this way we could surprise Yu! I’m sure he’s not expecting us, so it’ll be a fun surprise for him to find us here.” “But, dear…” he said with an edge of sadness, “What if he’s not? I mean...we’ve been so busy these past few years, and he had to move here-” Mai put her hands on her husband’s shoulders, a soft smile on her face as she squeezed him warmly, “Haru, come on. Yu is a mature boy, I’m sure he’ll understand. Have some hope, honey.” she encouraged, and while those misty pools didn’t seem entirely convinced, Haruto nodded.

And, with that, the two began to explore the lower floor of the home. “Oh, they all went fishing,” Mai noted to her husband as she picked up a picture of her son from a small drawer by the stairs. The picture of him with a girl of about seven sat upon his shoulders in some overalls and a bucket hate at a lake, a tackle box in one of the teen’s hands, and a pair of fishing poles in the other. “Nanako also seems to like him, she’s drawn him.” Haruto reported in return, bringing over a small drawing of a stick figure of Narukami weilding a sword against a monster to protect Nanako. “Oh how sweet, he always did have a way with kids.” Mai chuckled, only for their exploration to fall short at the sound of an upstairs door, quickly followed by footsteps.

Soon, a short girl with choppy, dark brown hair came into view. The only issue, was that she wore little beyond one of Narukami’s button up shirts. Wide open, with not even a thread of underwear beneath. “O-oh, my god.” Haruto squeaked, his hand instantly slapped over his eyes as his wife and the unknown girl simply stared at one another for a long moment. Their silent staring contest only broken when Marie whispered in horror, “A-are...are you Narukami’s parents?” which, only got a silent nod from the unphased, silver-haired woman. And, in response, all of the blood drained from Marie’s face in an instant.

And, in a flash, she spun on her heel, the shirt now clutched shut in her hands as she scrambled back up the stairs with a shriek. “OH MY GOD, NARUKAMI WHY DIDN’T YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR PARENTS WERE HERE?!”

And just like that, pandemonium broke out within Dojima’s modest home.

Narukami’s mom and dad could both hear hurried footsteps and voices from the upper floor. Which, Mai found amusing, but her husband still seemed a little pale. “Mai-mai, maybe we should go. Let the kids-” Haruto’s red-faced whisper cut off when a second woman, an older looking one, with wavy white hair and only the bottom portion of a very lacey, fancy lingerie set on and golden eyes came into view, another, similar-looking woman hot on her heels. “Oh my, are you really Narukami’s parents?” Margaret asked with an edge of excitement and surprise in her words, to which, Mai nodded calmly, her husband having turned his back to the stairs to not see anymore women in undress. “My, you have quite impressive breasts, madame.” Mai said to Margaret nonchalantly. Her unshaken calmness enough to shock the attendants before her son finally pulled the snowy-haired women back out of sight to make his own appearance before his parents.

And, much like his...friends, Narukami wasn’t the best dressed for company. However, he had at least apparently tried to get his clothes in order before he came downstairs, as he did have a shirt and pants, they were simply backwards, or unzipped.

Though, while Yu stood at the bottom of the stairs, two of the three women with him still there, peeking down at Mai and Haruto Narukami like curious children, he didn’t say anything to his parents. So, Mai took the initiative. “You know, Yu. Handcuffs aren’t a very good option for bondage.” “MOTHER.”

[lifewithoutmeds]

June 18, 2022

Had been feeling pretty good, and somewhat improved for the week overall, but today feeling a bit down.

updates: rhiannon had to put her dog Leo down, and grace’s father in law is slowly going off life support and on more morphine, so he’s likely to pass in the next few days. my mom went to denver last week to see the eemos, but my one aunt that had surgery seems to be recovering somewhat, so there’s one tiny bit of improvement.

i was pretty good the last week about eating better, having oatmeal in the mornings, and making a very healthy cucumber salad that i had for dinner a few nights. but after rhiannon put leo down, she wanted to get ramen and beer, so i did, and though i didn’t need to and shouldn’t have, i ordered extra noodles per usual, and they weren’t even that good but i ate them all. 

wednesday and thursday were really hectic work days, but then on thursday afternoon grace and maddy came over to swim while i checked emails and tried to do online trainings. friday morning i got up shortly after 4:00 a.m. and went out to carpinteria where i had a nice day of fishing and caught about 9 perch and 1 yellow fin croaker. i also met a nice retired Burmese couple, and the husband fished while the wife either read or helped look for sandcrabs. maurice and i exchanged numbers by the end of our fishing session and said we’d keep in touch. then i went to johnny’s sport shop, dropped off some reels for servicing, and picked up some tackle, then met up with grace and steve at Damon’s for happy hour mai tais and chi chis.

overall it was a good week, and i’m glad it ended on a good note. there was also a bad part with jadai and missing her and crying and trying to move photos over from my camera and seeing pictures and videos of her that were upsetting, as well as an upsetting series of texts that made me stop work midday and just take out everything that belonged to her and stack it up in the living room.

but now, the sads are hitting again, and it probably isn’t so great that i ate a giant thing of jjampong for lunch and ordered extra noodles so i could have it again for dinner. and again tomorrow. ugh. but i guess if last week at this time i felt like a 3, my week overall was a 7, and i’m just feeling like a 3.5 right now, but overall it arched into the right direction.

i had a nightmare last night about jadai and her family. in the nightmare, she had several i guess nephews and nieces that she needed to take care of. one was like korean? and i had to speak korean to her via facetime but this confused everybody because .... she either was supposed to be american or ... there was some weird legal thing that we were realizing wasn’t kosher about the adoption. one child also seemed to be a sentient barbie-like doll. and there were just others and they all needed attention and it was very loud and chaotic. in another sequence, jadai and i were living with her brother in a big weirdly-decorated house that i didn’t like the layout of at all. somehow a fourth random lady wanted to/tried to become a housemate and suddenly i was like why am i in this situation? why can’t i be back in my nice glendale condo?

when i awoke, i was upset at jadai and relieved to be in a quiet place that was my own. and weirdly, it made me miss jadai less even though it was a dream and i was even kind of upset at her, which was helpful for my purposes.

tomorrow is sunday, father’s day, and as my father has elected not to have dinner with me if it doesn’t include my mother, i will be helping lana steam power wash her kitchen floor in the house she just bought and then facetiming with Ant in the afternoon. monday i plan to fish again and i’ve already started getting my tacklebag and such prepared.

i finished Atomic Habits the other day, and i’ll need to start a new book soon. i feel a weird kind of dissatisfaction and i can feel my face sort of twisting in constant annoyance, but i’m hoping it’s PMS, per my calendar.

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 15

Chapter 1     Chapter 14

Possible trigger warning.  I mention that sexual assault and worse has happened during some akuma attacks.  I don’t describe anything or say who it happened to (it didn’t happen to anyone we know) but wanted to warn readers that it is brought up.

This room really was a ridiculous room, Marinette decided.  The dining table was large enough to seat twenty.  Who needed a casual dining table that large?  Honestly.  Not to mention, a dining table that large meant there was more than enough room for Alfred to join them, but he never did.

And bringing the food out on silver trays. Did they do that just because she was here?  She kind of hoped it was because the idea of doing it everyday…  She looked over to Adrien to roll her eyes at the opulence, but he just went with it like it was completely expected.  Marinette shook her head.  Damn rich people.  She looked up just in time to catch Duke’s eyes.  He looked at the silver trays with a pointed look and rolled his eyes. Marinette giggled and nodded back.

“I forgot to ask the other day,” Dick started with a disarming smile.  “How did you two meet and when?”

And there it was again.  A perfectly normal question.  A very common question.  A question they would expect to be asked.  But there was something off in the way he asked it.  Something that just triggered her senses.  She could feel a difference in it, like its very existence disrupted the peace of the dinner.

Adrien looked over at her with a broad smile and nodded to her, letting her know she was supposed to answer it.  She plastered on a friendly smile.  “We met in school, actually.”

“Oh? Maternelle or older?”  Dick smiled again, his face perfectly emulating interest in his sister’s friend.  Markov would never be able to tell the difference.  But Marinette could.  He was fishing.  She just didn’t know what he was fishing for.

“Older,” she answered curtly.

Dick seemed to get the message that she was not happy and backed off, metaphorically and literally, leaning away from them in his chair.  His smooth smile morphed into a mock frown.  “Oh that’s a shame.  I was hoping for stories or pictures of baby Marinette.”

“Oh, baby Mari was adorable,” Adrien gushed, with a teasing grin to Marinette.

Tim quirked his head to the side.  “I thought you said you two didn’t meet until you were older.”

Adrien’s grin widened.  “We didn’t.  Not until we were in collège and she yelled at me for something I didn’t do.”

“I didn’t yell at you,” Marinette objected in mock offense, slapping his arm. “I informed you that you were a contemptible dirtbag in a harsh tone.”

Jason barked a laugh.  “Right, big difference.”

Marinette whirled on him, her serious expression contradicted by her lips trying to quirk up at the corners at his teasing.  “There is!  It was a quietly harsh tone.  There was no yelling.”  She turned back to Adrien.  “And I apologized for that.”

“Yeah, like years later and not because you wanted to,” he rolled his eyes.

“Only because I couldn’t really talk to you for, like, ever after that,” she groused playfully.  She pushed her food around on her plate with a pout.

“Apologies are hard,” Cass nodded in agreement.

Marinette beamed at her.  “Yes.  Thank you, Cass.  See,” she motioned to Cass so Adrien would look, “Cass has my back.  She agrees.”

“With what?” Duke laughed.

“Your input is not needed!” Marinette chastised him, trying hard not to laugh.  But when Duke cracked up and started laughing hard enough to have him gasping for breath, so did Marinette.

“Okay but…” Tim started after they’d had enough time to recover.

“Oh, right!” Adrien shook his head.  “There was an akuma that de-aged people.  A mom sad her son was going off to university, so her power was to turn everyone into toddlers again.  Marinette got hit pushing me out of the way of the beam. She turned into the cutest, pudgiest, little toddler you’ve ever seen.”  

Marinette batted his hands away when he leaned over to pinch her cheeks.  He chuckled at Marinette’s pout.  “I hated that one.  I felt so helpless,” she moaned.

“I loved it,” Adrien smiled.  “I got to see all of you guys as babies.  Most of you guys knew each other since childhood so you knew what each other looked like.  Alya and I were the odd ones out.  Plus, no pain.”  He looked back to the rest of the family.  “That was rare; an akuma that didn’t cause massive amounts of pain or trauma.”

“Were they that bad?” Duke asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer he was going to get back.  He had purposefully not looked too hard into akumas precisely because he was afraid of the answer.

Marinette stared intently at her plate in thought, trying to condense the experience into light, dinner topic worthy descriptions because she desperately did not want to discuss akumas tonight… or ever again. The very thought caused shivers down her spine.  “They were… most weren’t… didn’t affect…”  Her words got cut off as her body froze with realization.  Her face scrunched up in pain and she gasped after not having breathed for the last few seconds.  She suddenly pushed away from the table and stood up.  “I think… I need to leave.”

Bruce stood up at the same time and reached out for her. “Marinette are you okay?”  His concern amped up when Cass stood up as well and frowned with concern.

Adrien got to her quicker, gently laying his hands on her arms.  “Hey, we don’t have to talk about it.  We can talk about something else.  You talked with M. Fox this morning, right?  We can talk about that.”

Marinette shook her head.  “I can’t…” she couldn’t finish her sentence, her breath was becoming more ragged the longer she stood there.

“Way to go, Timmy,” Jason groused.

“I didn’t do this!” Tim objected motioning toward Marinette and standing up too.  He wasn’t exactly sure what standing up was supposed to accomplish. She didn’t know him and definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with him trying to comfort her.  It was more of a show of support.  Whatever was going on, he didn’t want to stay sitting like it was nothing.

She looked toward Bruce, her eyes slightly glazed over.  “You… you knew.  You knew about what happened when I was fourteen… and fifteen… and sixteen.  You said you checked in on me frequently, so there’s no way you didn’t know.  You knew and you just… rather than admit I was…”  She looked down at the floor, her face scrunching further as she tried to reconcile the new information.  She backed away more and shook her head, no longer really hearing anything in the room, including Adrien’s loud gasp of realization.  “I… I can’t… be here.  I have to… I need time to…”  

She turned and rushed through the door before anyone could stop her.  She could feel herself shutting down and she needed to stop it.  She knew she needed to stop letting herself turn numb.  She gritted her teeth as her frustration with herself increased.  Why couldn’t she just react normally?  Nobody else on her team did this.  None of their friends reacted this way anymore.  What was wrong with her that she did?

And she had to do it there, in front of everyone. She had to do it in front of him.  Why couldn’t she hold it together for one freaking dinner?  She’s gone through worse.  Why couldn’t she just have DEALT with it, like an adult?  Now she probably ruined the start of their relationship. He was probably going to hate her. He didn’t want to know about that stuff. He didn’t want to deal with those kinds of problems.  Those were her issues, not his.  

He wanted a daughter for the press, not a hot mess of insecurities and anxiety.  He wanted a happy, light, cheery child.  That’s why he sent her away, so that’s who she would become.  That’s probably why Dick was trying to ask all those questions, so they could know just what kind of a broken, messed up, embarrassment of a disaster they were taking on with her.  They needed to know what to prepare for when the press started getting involved.

Back in the dining room, Jason had gone from laughing, to confused, to concerned, to fucking pissed in a matter of seconds.  “What did she go through?” Jason asked through gritted teeth.

Adrien glared at Bruce waiting for him to answer the question.  Bruce looked down dejectedly and Adrien scoffed.  He didn’t bother ripping his glare away from Bruce when he answered for him. “She means Hawkmoth.  She means M. Wayne knew what Hawkmoth was doing and let her stay there when he could have pulled her out at any time.  She means he let her stay and get tormented rather than admit she was his daughter.”

“That is not why I didn’t pull her out of Paris,” Bruce insisted weakly.

“I thought the damage done by Hawkmoth was all reversed,” Duke offered.

“Oh, the physical damage was reversed, but the psychological wasn’t.  The memories weren’t.  Hawkmoth used people’s negative emotions to turn them into monsters, AS YOU KNOW,” he snarled at Bruce.  “For years, if you had a bad day, if you got sad, if you grieved, you could end up killing or torturing or raping someone, maybe someone you cared about, maybe someone you loved, maybe more than one.  

“Didn’t even have to be something big it could just be… my best friend got akumatized because my father said he couldn’t throw me a party for my birthday.  A kid Marinette babysat got akumatized because her mother took away a toy that wasn’t hers, it was Marinette’s actually, so she felt responsible for getting Manon akumatized.  Marinette’s best friends, five of them at once, got akumatized because she didn’t want to tell them something private.  Like that didn’t wrack her with guilt for years.  It didn’t take much to turn you into a nightmare.  In fact, one little kid got akumatized several times because he had a nightmare.  All it took was one moment of feeling down.  If you were lucky, really lucky, you just… stopped feeling… anything.”

Everyone was silent for a few minutes.  Adrien’s glare never wavered the entire time. Finally Dick spoke up softly. “And was Marinette… lucky.”

Adrien sneered at Bruce, “Oh, Marinette was very lucky.  She only got tortured a few times… per month.  She only lost a few limbs.  She only got targeted most of the time.  She only died four or five times, that she remembers, the actual number is significantly higher.  All despite my father targeting her specifically.  You know, nothing worth too much concern. She only watched the people she loved get tortured, screaming for her in agony before they died painful deaths a handful of times.  She only sometimes still goes completely numb rather than feel things.  Not even just bad things, good things too.  If it’s too much, she shuts down so she doesn’t expose herself, so Hawkmoth can’t get her, because we needed her.  It’s automatic.  It’s subconscious.  It’s been five years and she still has to fight the instant reaction.”  

Bruce finally spoke up apprehensively.  God, he really, really didn’t want to know the answer to his next question, but at the same time, he needed to know.  “You mentioned akumas could kill, torture, rape… You said Marinette had been tortured and killed.  Was she ever…”

Adrien’s face scrunched up in anger and frustration. “You don’t get to ask that,” he screamed.  “You didn’t care then, you don’t get to pretend like you care now.  You want an answer to your question, you’ll have to ask her yourself, if you have the balls for it.  Personally, I don’t think you do.  So use your imagination.  I guarantee anything you can imagine, can’t even come close to the things she had to live through.”

He looked down for a moment to try to collect himself.  When he looked back up it was an icy, coldness that made Tim collapse back into his chair.  “So now you need to stop lying to her that you always loved her, you cared at all.”

Damian growled and lunged forward in his chair. “You can’t tell him what he feels. You don’t get to say how he treats one of his children.  You aren’t a part of this family.”

Adrien turned his icy glare to Damian.  “And she is?  Holding her at arm’s length?  Keeping her at a distance?  Not letting her get too close?  Randomly freezing up around her.  Keeping family secrets from her.  Clamming up as soon as she’s nearby.  Sending each other secret looks over her head when you think she won’t see.  She’s not stupid.  She sees what you’re doing, what you’re all doing, she’s just too nice to point it out, too hopeful you’ll actually accept her one day.”  He turned to look at Damian with disgust.  “I might not be a part of this thing you call a family, but I am a part of hers.”  Damian only put up a semblance of a fight when Cass pulled him back down into his chair with a disappointed look.

“You kept in contact to make yourself feel better not because you cared.  Because if you did?  If you did, there’s no way you let her stay in Paris when it would have been so easy for you to do something.  There’s no way you let her get hurt and killed over and over again just so you didn’t have to admit you were related to her.  Nobody who gives even the slightest fuck about anybody, a stranger let alone family, your child, would willingly let them go through that.  Lets them live knowing that crying about a stubbed toe could make them into a killer.

“You could have done something, anything and yet you did nothing.  You didn’t even try.  She wouldn’t have accepted.  She… she was the only reason some of us survived and she knew that.  She was our hope.  She saved us and protected us.  Repeatedly. At her own expense.  Without her…” he looked away.  When he spoke again, his voice was considerably quieter and colder.

“And she knew it.  And she took it all on herself.  She didn’t even tell most people, anyone but me and one other friend really, what she went through and not even all of it.  There’s still things I know she saw but she won’t tell me about. Her own parents didn’t know because she didn’t want them to become akumas, which they’d done before over minor things.  So she dealt with it on her own.  My father barely ever let me out so I couldn’t be there for her almost ever. So she had nobody.  She made sure she didn’t.  Because she didn’t want to be the cause of more suffering.

“So she wouldn’t have taken you up on any offers anyway because she’d never abandon the people she cares about.”  He looked back up to level Bruce with an icy glare that made him lose his breath.  “Guess she gets that from her mother.”

He started to walk away but turned back to the family as he got to the door.  “You know, Marinette and I are a lot alike.  You can do anything you want to us and we’ll probably apologize to you for inconveniencing you.  But you hurt someone we care about?  Not even Hell is far enough away for you to hide in.

“So she’ll forgive you.  That’s who she is.  She will.  Hell, she’ll probably come crawling back in a day or two to apologize to you for the scene she created.  For making you feel uncomfortable.  But I won’t ever forget what you did, what you didn’t do, what you subjected her to. No matter what else you ever do for her, you will not be forgiven.” He stepped closer to Bruce, the ice in his eyes turning darker.  “And if you ever treat her like that again, they’ll never find your body.”

Damian scowled and jumped up.  “Are you threatening my father?”

Adrien didn’t look at him when he responded, continuing to glare at Bruce with a dark, warped look that even made Damian raise an eyebrow.  “I am.” He didn’t even bother slamming the door as he stormed out.  As soon as he passed the threshold, he took off sprinting after Marinette.  She didn’t have the car keys so she was walking… in Gotham… while she was a target.  He cursed and picked up his speed to get to the car.

“B?” Dick asked cautiously.

“No.  No, no, no.” He shook his head violently and looked down, trying to steady his ragged breathing.  “I asked her parents.  I checked. They said she was fine.  They said it was okay.”  He looked up at Dick with haunted eyes.  “I checked.  I made sure.”

“Well you didn’t fucking check well enough did you?” Jason growled.  “You never asked her.”  He threw his napkin on the table and stalked out after Adrien to help comfort Marinette.  Duke looked between them for a moment before sprinting after Jason.

The rest of the family looked down at their plates, except Bruce who wasn’t looking at anything.  He pushed away from the table and stumbled back to his room, a sudden wave of nausea slamming into his body.  Dick opened his mouth a few times only to snap it shut again mutely.  Cass frowned but continued eating slowly. This was new information, but it didn’t change who Marinette was to her.  It was the same Marinette from earlier in the day.  But now she knew more.  Maybe they could bond over childhood trauma like she and Stephanie had.

Damian furrowed his brow and scowled at his food, unable to determine how to interpret the new information and blame Marinette for it. She had done it to herself, clearly. She had allowed herself to stay in that situation.  Obviously it was her own fault she suffered through that… like he had.  Not knowing who to be mad at, he shoved away from the table and went down to the cave to train.

Tim blankly watched him go.  This… this was unsalvageable.  This was… they’d let her down in so many ways.  Him with the gala.  Dick with the questioning Adrien.  Damian with the accusing her and insulting Adrien.  The entire family with the keeping secrets.  And Bruce with the… everything.  How were they supposed to bring this back?  They were worse than his family, his previous family.  The Drakes just ignored him.  They were actively destroying her.  

He took a deep breath and pushed away from the table too.  He would go down to the cave but Damian was already there.  He wanted to patrol, to actually protect someone, like he hadn’t protected her.  He stood up and made his way to the grandfather clock.  Fuck Demon Spawn.  Let him try to fight him right now.  Tim wasn’t in the mood and wouldn’t hold back.  Heaven help any rogues out tonight.

Chapter 16

Tags:

@maribat-bdbwm @jayjayspixiepop @redscarlet95 @alice-hazelwood @deathssilentapproach-blog @unoriginalmess @alyssadeliv @emotionalsupportginger @frieddonutsweets @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @toodaloo-kangaroo @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @iloontjeboontje @wolf-for-life @maribatserver @aespades @prettylittlebutterflie @imarivers8  @ certainmuffinbagelcalzone @ritacrow-blog @unoriginalmess @demonicbusiness @kking13 @lady-bee-fechin @blur-of-colours @kittenmywaythrulife @kashlyn @loysydark

[keanureevesisbae]

Summary: A slice of life of Henry and Becky

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 5k

A/N: It's official: the ending of Henry and Becky - not gonna lie, it was quite the ride and boy, did I enjoy it. From March till now, these two have taught me a lot. Writing wise, storytelling wise, sex wise, and character development wise. I hope you will like this ending of theirs 😘 I know I do!

Henry finally has the family he always wanted. His beautiful wife Becky and three lively boys: Adrien, who is ten, seven year old Lucas and little Jordan just turned four. Henry adores his family. Every weekend, he makes sure he doesn’t have any work to do, so he can take the four of them on a little trip, whether that is the zoo, the park or dinner with a view (most likely an aquarium, because the boys love to watch the fish).

It’s sweet to see how his kids are and their personalities. Adrien is a typical oldest child, very head strong and takes charges like no other. Lucas is a very happy go lucky kid, always up for something and goes into a project head first and is very very impulsive. Jordan is very timid, always hiding behind his mom’s legs whenever he finds something frightening or pushes his face into Henry’s chest, wanting to quiet down the hectic world.

After a long and draining day at the office, Henry arrives back home from work that Friday night. He hears the four of them discussing. Not the heated kind, but more a sneaky one, deciding what to make for dinner.

‘Not wanting to ruin the surprise, but I heard something about food,’ Henry says, placing his case on the floor.

‘Dad, you’re home!’ Lucas says, jumping up from the couch and wrapping his arms around Henry. No matter how long he has been gone (it can vary from a day to a week to a minute), Lucas is always happy to see him again.

Adrien gives his dad a hug as well, but like usual, Jordan has a bit of starting problems. He looks from his mom to Henry to his mom again. ‘Dad’s home,’ Becky says with a smile. ‘Want to hug him?’

Jordan slides from her lap and walks over to his dad, hugging his leg. It usually takes him a few moments before he can react to something, a trait Henry finds so endearing.

Henry scoots him up in his arms, giving him a kiss on his chubby cheek, before walking over to Becky. ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he says. ‘I missed you.’

‘Missed you too. We were just discussing what we would make you for dinner,’ Becky says, pressing a kiss on his lips. ‘We were thinking either some pasta or some Soto soup.’

‘How about,’ Henry says, ‘the boys can help me out and you sit right here? We’ll make dinner for you.’

Adrien nods. ‘Yes, mom, you always cook. We can do it now. We’ll make pasta for you.’

‘Dad is not like uncle Greg, who always burns down the kitchen,’ Lucas says.

She smiles. ‘Okay, I’ll be right here. Jordan, what do you want to do? Help them out?’

Jordan nods. ‘Help dad,’ he whispers and Henry presses a kiss on his cheek again, before saying: ‘Okay, buddy, you can help me with stirring, okay?’

And together with his three boys, Henry walks into the kitchen.

It took them approximately nine to ten months before Becky became pregnant with Adrien. It was scary, yet exciting at the same time. Finally their new beginning started. They had already moved to a bigger place, with a backyard and tons of space for the kids, but now it was becoming even more real, with a little one on the way.

When they found out she was pregnant, Becky officially quit working at the archives and became what she always wanted: a full time author and mom.

Henry absolutely adored seeing the changes with her and her body, prepping for the arrival of the baby and giving Becky all the things her heart desires.

Becky was an amazing mother, everything came natural to her. She was kind, sweet and patient, while Henry found himself often confused and scared. But now they have three boys and he is becoming more and more secure with himself.

For ten years there always has been at least one kid around her when Henry went to work, but with Jordan going to school after this weekend, he knows it’s gonna be hard on her.

They have been bringing Jordan to Pre-K, however that’s only for two mornings a week, since he finds it very scary not to be around his mom.

He can see it’s eating Becky alive. When he looks over his shoulder, he notices her staring at the pictures. ‘Jordan,’ he says, ‘you’ve been helping me very well, but will you do me a favor?’

‘What is it?’ Jordan asks with a slight lisp.

‘Can you sit with your mom? Give her a big hug?’

He nods and after Henry lifted him off the counter, the little man walks over to his mom. ‘Momma,’ he hears Jordan say, ‘dad said I should give you a hug.’

Becky laughs. ‘Do you want to give me a hug?’

‘Always.’

She wraps her arms around his waist and gives him a kiss, lifting Jordan on her lap.

While Henry and the other boys finish up dinner, he cannot stop looking over his shoulder at the other two. Becky is listening intently to something Jordan is telling her and her soft smile is making his heart still pound after years of being together.

Jordan places his head on her chest and she wraps her arms tightly around him.

And it warms Henry’s heart to see that.

✤ ✤ ✤

The next morning, Henry wakes up before the kids do, but Becky is already up. He is quick to get out of bed as well, rushing downstairs to see his beautiful wife of more than eleven years in the kitchen, trying to get the coffee machine to work.

‘Good morning, baby girl, please, allow me to do it.’

She turns around. ‘Good morning, my knight in shining armor.’

He stands next to her, fixing the coffee machine with one hand, while he uses his other to pull her closer to him. He absolutely adores her pajama’s, that consist of pink shorts and a large shirt of his. He gives her a kiss on her cheek. ‘How did you sleep?’

‘Wonderful and I know you did as well, because you snored a little.’

‘I don’t snore,’ Henry retorts, but he knows that might not be the entire truth. He does that from time to time, especially when he’s really tired. ‘What’s the plan today?’

‘I have some work to finish,’ Becky says, ‘and Adrien has some homework. Maybe you can make sure Jordan and Lucas have something to do?’

Before he can answer to that (which is yes), the door opens and they see little Jordan standing in the doorway. ‘Momma,’ he whimpers.

‘Oh honey, what’s wrong?’ Becky asks, walking over to him, crouching down in front of him.

‘I’m scared.’

‘Why?’

‘Monday.’

‘Oh, is it because you’re going to school?’

He nods. ‘I wanted to sleep in your bed, but you and dad weren’t there.’

Henry’s heart breaks in tiny little pieces and when Becky lifts him up, she looks at him with a pout. ‘Honey, there is nothing to worry about,’ Becky says.

Jordan curls up against her chest and little sobs escape from his lips. ‘I’m scared.’

She takes a seat at the dining table, pressing a kiss on top of his head. ‘I understand that you’re scared, but there is nothing to be afraid of. Miss Sue is a lovely lady, did you know that? You already saw her a few times and on top of that, she was Adrien’s and Lucas’ kindergarten teacher and they loved her.’

‘I miss you,’ Jordan continues to say.

‘I know you will miss me,’ Becky says. ‘I’ll miss you too, but you know: going to school is a lot of fun.’

Jordan sighs, his eyes still a little heavy. Henry understands. It’s five in the morning and while he and Becky are used to getting up at this hour, the boys aren’t.

‘Why don’t you two get back in bed?’ Henry suggests. ‘I’ll bring some coffee and some apple juice up.’

As the two of them go upstairs again, he quickly gets the drinks ready and goes to the master bedroom. He sees Jordan is asleep against her chest, his cheeks still a little bit red. He slides in next to her after placing the drinks on the nightstand and smiles. ‘Did he fall asleep fast?’

‘Instantly,’ Becky says, stroking through Jordan’s soft light brown curls. ‘I worry.’

‘I know,’ he says. ‘I do too.’

‘What if school is going to be too hard on him? Life can already be too hard for him and school isn’t easy.’

‘I know,’ Henry says again. He wraps his arm around her shoulders, placing his other hand on Jordan’s back. ‘You know, it’ll all be fine,’ he says. ‘He is a trooper.’

‘He sure is, but what if he… What if he gets bullied?’

‘Darling, they loved him at Pre-K, the kids loved him there too. Jordan is an easy to love little man. It’ll go great, I just feel it in my bones.’

‘I sure hope so,’ she says. She leans against his chest. ‘Henry, I’m going to miss him so much. The house is gonna be empty without him.’ He figures that she wants to continue to speak what is pressing on her heart and he figured correctly, because she continues to say: ‘He always follows me around the house, doing what I do. When I was writing, he would grab his little toy laptop and pretend to be writing as well.’

Henry can already see it happening. While they are all mommy’s boys, Jordan really is attached to her like velcro. ‘Sweetheart,’ he whispers, ‘he is going to school every other day at first. You’ll have him here two days a week and then on the weekends as well.’

‘I know.’ She lets out a sigh and he gives her a peck on her temple. She looks up and gives him a long kiss on his lips. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, sweetheart.’

They spend their time looking at Jordan, who finally opens his eyes and smiles a little when he sees the two of them. ‘Dad,’ he says, ‘was momma worried?’

Henry smiles. ‘A little, but that’s what moms do. But don’t you worry, I comforted her.’

Jordan gives her a kiss, before climbing on top of Henry. ‘I love you,’ he whispers softly, almost like he is afraid of Henry hearing his little declaration of love.

‘I love you too,’ Henry says, wrapping his arms around Jordan. ‘What do you want to do today?’

Jordan shrugs. ‘I want to do a puzzle.’

‘You want a new one?’ Henry asks.

‘Maybe.’ Jordan giggles, before admitting: ‘Yes, please.’

✤ ✤ ✤

After telling the boys they’re going to the zoo tomorrow, Henry takes Lucas and Jordan to the store and buys them a few things. Jordan got his puzzle, Lucas got a new soccer ball and Adrien a science game he has been eyeing for a while.

‘I can’t wait to go to the zoo,’ Lucas says. ‘So I can finally show Adrien I’m better on the monkey bars.’

Henry laughs. ‘You sure? Adrien is pretty good.’

‘Lucas is better,’ Jordan says.

‘Thank you.’ Lucas holds out his hand for a high five and Jordan obliges. The three of them walk into the house and he hears some arguing.

‘Go to your rooms, okay?’ Henry says, but it isn’t much of a question. Lucas grabs Jordan’s hand and helps him upstairs, while Henry walks into the living room.

‘You always do it wrong,’ Adrien says. ‘You’re useless.’

Henry’s eyes fall on Becky, who sits on the chair, looking at Adrien, but doesn’t say anything.

‘Why do you even bother to help me out?’

‘Excuse me,’ Henry says, before Becky can even answer, ‘is this how you talk to your mother?’

‘Henry,’ Becky says, in an oddly calm tone, ‘don’t you worry. It’s okay.’

Henry doesn’t think so. ‘You cannot possibly think that you can talk to your mom like that.’ His voice is loud, almost with mean streak in it. He has never been like this before, but also: his kids have never spoken to any one of them like this before.

‘Dad, listen—’

But Henry isn’t having any of it. He barely knows what he is saying, but he is angry and blood boiling mad. Never was he in a situation like this, except for the times when it was Henry’s own dad in front of him.

It should stop him, but it doesn’t. No, he continues, scolding Adrien about his poor behavior and finally Becky stands up from her chair and stops in front of him. ‘Henry, please stop,’ she says in a soft tone. ‘He understood.’

And then his eyes finally see clearly again. He sees his boy, his first born, with wide eyes and tears burning in them. Without saying anything, Henry marches out of the room and closes the door.

Fuck, he screwed up big time.

‘Mom, did dad mean that?’ Adrien asks his mom from behind the door.

‘No,’ she says, ‘I don’t think so.’

‘Is he mad at me?’

‘You know, sweetheart, I think he is more mad at himself.’

Henry walks up the stairs and hides in his home office. Fuck, fuck, fuck. There is so much wrong with what he just said.

Never did he raise his voice at his kids. Both him and Becky are very patient parents, they don’t need to raise their voice. Their calmness is what works best with their three sons.

But now…

He did the exact thing he promised himself never to do again. He remembers seeing the little boy for the first time, their first born kid. Adrien was so fragile, so perfect.

Henry slams his fist on the desk, but before he can do anymore damage, Becky walks in. ‘Okay, talk to me,’ she says, closing the door behind her. ‘What happened there?’

‘I don’t know,’ he says, rubbing his face. ‘Shit, fuck, I went too far.’

‘You did,’ she agrees, sitting on his desk, as he sits down on his seat. ‘That’s okay, sweetheart, stuff like this happens.’

‘It never happened to you,’ he says.

‘I know, but I made tons of other mistakes. It’ll all be fine.’

‘Adrien hates me.’

She smiles. ‘No, honey, he doesn’t. He could never. You went a little too far, but that’s it.’

Henry places his hands on the sides of her thighs and leans his head on her legs. ‘Now what?’

She runs her fingers through his hair. ‘Sweetheart, it’s okay.’

‘It’s not.’

‘You just cool down, go to him and apologize.’ She holds his face in her hands and gives him a kiss. ‘He understood he was wrong,’ Becky continues. ‘It’s not that bad what he did. But I’ll let you two figure it out. Adrien is in his room, I’ll go check up on Lucas and Jordan.’

After Becky leaves his office, it takes him about five minutes before he realizes he truly needs to apologize. He hears Becky talking to Lucas and Jordan and when he walks towards Adrien’s room, he takes a deep breath. He can do it.

He knocks on the door and hears a soft: ‘Come in.’

Adrien is pacing through his own room and blinks his eyes fast when he sees Henry. Shit, that should’ve never be the case. Never should his kids look this scared when seeing him.

‘Hey buddy,’ he says to Adrien, ‘can we talk?’

‘Sure.’

Henry takes a seat on his bed and Adrien plops down on his windowsill. ‘Listen, kid, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was outta line.’

Adrien shrugs. ‘Well, you were right. I shouldn’t have spoken to mom like that.’

‘Why did you do it?’

‘I got frustrated,’ he says, ‘calculus was hard, I didn’t understand her immediately.’

‘I see,’ Henry mumbles. ‘Listen, I shouldn’t have reacted like this and for that I apologize.’

‘I know that, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have spoken to mom like that. I’ll tell her in a minute.’

‘She already knows, but good for you. Proud of you, kid. We good again?’

‘We always good,’ Adrien says. He stands up and sits next to him, wrapping his arms around his dad. ‘I love you, dad.’

‘Love you too, kid. Forever and ever.’

✤ ✤ ✤

✤ ✤ ✤

After they spend that Sunday in the zoo, they all know it’s time for Jordan to go to school that Monday. Monday morning is also time for the other boys to hype up their youngest brother, because they know how he can get. They see Jordan is worried, so they try their best to make sure he has nothing to be afraid of.

But it’s barely working, because when Henry and Becky walk little Jordan to his class after saying goodbye to his brothers, he has a pout no one can say no to. Despite having done this two times before, it almost hits different now, especially because Jordan is their youngest and there isn’t gonna be a kid at home.

Maybe it’s the reason Henry took a day off, so he could be there for his wife. He did that when the other boys went to school for the first time as well, now shouldn’t be an exception. He just knows that now more than ever, Becky needs him back at home.

‘Okay, honey, honey, honey,’ Becky says, crouching down so she’s at the same eye level as Jordan, ‘it’s all okay.’

‘I don’t want you to go,’ he hiccups, tears staining his cheeks.

Becky is actually at a loss for words, so Henry crouches down near her, placing his hand on Jordan’s arm. ‘Listen, buddy, I get that you’re scared, but there is nothing to be afraid of. You spend some time with the other kids, you listen to your teacher and then mom and dad will pick you up.’

Jordan becomes a little bit calmer, as Becky dries his cheeks. ‘You’re a brave kid, sweetheart. It’ll go well.’

He nods. ‘I’m brave.’

‘Yes, you are,’ Henry says. ‘You’ll make friends, I know that for sure.’

A little boy walks over to Jordan. He seems a little bit older than Jordan and from the looks of it, he is totally at peace here in the classroom. ‘Why are you crying?’ he asks.

‘I’m scared,’ Jordan admits.

The boy nods. ‘I get it. I was scared too on my first day. I’m Kevin. Wanna be friends?’

If only live was this easy later on.

Jordan nods. ‘Yes.’ He gives his parents a big kiss, before walking off with Kevin. Henry slowly manages to drag away Becky from the class and once they are in the car, she starts to sniffle.

He was kinda waiting for that. He knows that this is extremely hard on her. It’s hard on him too, but there is this thing between the bond of mother and child, something he can only try to understand. ‘It’s okay,’ Henry says.

‘I’m going to do this every day for at least a month, so I’m sorry in advance.’

‘It’s okay. Jordan is going to school now, meaning the kids are really growing up.’

‘I know,’ she whimpers, ‘but he is my baby.’ She places her hand over her face, hiding all the things she is feeling now.

Henry places his hand in the back of her neck. ‘Darling, darling,’ he says, ‘how about we go home, I make you some tea and we’ll talk about it, okay?’

She nods. ‘Yes, sure.’

By the time they arrive home, she’s still sad, but the cries has stopped, thankfully. As Henry makes some tea for the two of them, he has one arm wrapped around her body, pressing kisses on top of her head. ‘Tell me, darling, what’s the problem?’ he asks, once they are seated on the couch.

Becky curls up next to him, holding his hand in hers as she plays with his wedding band. ‘It’s stupid.’

‘It could never be stupid,’ he retorts immediately.

‘It’ just that I feel less like a mom now,’ she says in a soft tone. ‘Mostly because I don’t have kids around me the entire time anymore and— Shit, this is stupid, I told you.’

‘No, it’s not stupid. I get it.’ He squeezes her fingers. ‘Listen, I’ve been putting this conversation off for a while now, because I don’t want to force or rush you in any way. You always said to me that you wanted an even number of kids.’

She nods. ‘I did. Why didn’t you want to rush me?’

‘Well, Jordan ended up being an emergency c-section. I saw how out you were after it.’

She smiles. ‘Oh, you love me,’ she chuckles. ‘It’s sweet that you did that.’

He pushes up her shirt and places his heavy hand on her back, her warm skin against his hand palm. ‘So just a question,’ he says. ‘Do you want another one?’

She nods. ‘With you? Of course. I’d love to have another kid.’

He gives her a kiss. ‘Wanna start now?’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry can’t get over the fact that she is still wearing her tank top, not wanting to show him everything. ‘Stop,’ she whispers, pushing his hand away from underneath her top.

‘Why, baby?’

‘It’s ugly and I hate it.’

It makes sense now. He usually sneaked into the shower with her, warm water embracing the both of them, but she hasn’t let him in for so long. She gets dressed out of his sight, she gently pushes his hands from her body when he apparently is overstepping.

Years he could touch her and now he is hesitant, something he never thought would happen.

‘Why do you hate it?’ Henry asks.

‘Because the boys took a toll on my body. While you continue to look like perfection, I’m not the same anymore.’

He sighs. ‘It’s not necessary,’ he says, ‘to worry about that. You are still absolutely beautiful. When we got married, I promised you to always love you and take care of you and I am dead set on fulfilling that promise. Allow me baby, to show you how much I love you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Ten months later

A lot has changed. After deciding they wanted to have their fourth child, they conceived pretty quickly. When Becky told her two best friends Genevieve and Viola about it, it turned out they were pregnant as well. Three months ago, Genevieve gave birth to a little boy named Jimmy and Viola had twin girls two months ago, Sophia and Sharon.

Seeing both Greg and Noah so careful with their newly born kids, made Henry realize how much he has learned over the course of these years. He now stays calm, doesn’t freak out and because the other guys not as cool as collected yet, he has spend quite some time with them, helping them out with the kids.

And now, it was their turn. After three days of labor, Becky holds their little baby boy in her arms, their newest addition to their family. Henry wraps an arm around her shoulders, when he sits next to her on the bed. He looks just like Lucas when he was born.

‘You know,’ Henry says, ‘I’ll forever be amazed by you. You are wonderful, more than wonderful even.’

Becky places her head against his shoulder and smiles. ‘Thanks for being here,’ she says. ‘Will the boys be here soon?’

‘Greg is bringing them right this second. I’m picking them up in a minute.’

‘I’m officially a boy mom,’ she chuckles. ‘I mean, I already was, but I kinda suspected this one was gonna be a girl.’ Becky stares at the little baby. ‘But I love him dearly.’

Henry gives her a kiss and walks over to the door, goes downstairs with the elevator and sees his three boys, Jordan securely standing in between Lucas and Adrien. The oldest two rush towards him and give him a hug. ‘Dad, can we see him now?’

‘Yes, you can.’ He looks over at Greg. ‘Thanks for watching them. I hope they weren’t too much?’ Henry carefully asks.

‘They were angels,’ Greg admits. ‘Think these kids were more of a help to Gen, then I was. Can tell this wasn’t Adrien’s first rodeo. So thank you for letting them stay over.’

They all say goodbye to Greg and walk upstairs. ‘Listen,’ he says to the boys, Jordan balancing on his hip, ‘mom is very tired and the baby is very small and asleep, so the three of you need to be very quiet.’

‘Will do,’ Adrien says, who has already done this two more times and knows the drill.

Lucas holds Henry’s hand and the four of them quietly tiptoe into the room. ‘Hi mom,’ Adrien says, carefully sitting on the bed with Becky, looking at the wrapped bundle of joy in her arms.

‘Wow, he is tiny,’ Lucas says, sitting next to Adrien.

Henry lifts up Jordan, placing him on the other side of the bed next to his mom. ‘What do you think, buddy?’

Jordan smiles. ‘Cool. I’m a brother now.’

‘A big brother even,’ Becky says.

‘You okay, mom?’ Adrien asks, placing his head against her upper arm.

‘I’m fine, just tired, so you three wouldn’t mind helping out dad a lot, would you?’

The boys shake their heads. ‘What’s his name?’ Lucas says.

‘Well, you know, when Jordan was born, there were two names we were thinking about. Jordan and another name.’

‘Did you name him the other name?’

Henry nods. ‘This is Dominic Cavill.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Six years later

‘Congratulations, honey,’ Becky says, wrapping her arms around Adrien, who just earned his driver’s license. She gives him a kiss on his cheek, before saying: ‘Oh, wait, that’s not cool. Sorry.’

Adrien smirks. ‘It’s okay mom, you could never embarrass me.’ He gives her another hug, causing Henry to smile at the sight. ‘It’s just weird. I can drive now.’

‘You wanna drive me to my friend tonight?’ Lucas asks, who is now thirteen years old and has even more energy than he had before.

Adrien sticks out his tongue. ‘Very funny.’

‘Well, I want you to drive me to my soccer practice,’ Jordan says. ‘Show everyone I’ve got the coolest brother.’

‘Okay, I might actually do that. You got some cute girls in the older group, so I might impress them.’ Adrien bumps Jordan’s shoulder. ‘So, Dom, what do you think? Do I look cool behind the wheel?’

Dominic nods, leaning his head against Becky’s leg. ‘You do.’

‘Well, guess this is a right moment for this,’ Henry says, rummaging his pocket for the set of keys. ‘Here you go, kid.’ He throws the keys towards Adrien, who—captain of the basketball team—catches it easily.

‘Is this what I think it is?’ he asks, his eyes enlarged with a smile of happiness plastered on his face.

‘Go find it. It’s parked in the lot. You’ll probably find it instantly, because your mom parked it.’

‘Shut your face,’ Becky says, pinching his side. After Adrien was a year old, Becky decided that it was time to learn how to drive. It was a hassle: took her around a year and a half, but now she is a master behind the wheel.

Parking is just not quite her forte.

‘Wow, thanks dad.’ Adrien gives Henry a tight hug and together with his three brothers (while keeping an eye out on them), he walks over to the parking lot.

‘My boy is growing,’ Becky mumbles, holding Henry’s hand in hers, as they stroll behind them. ‘We did well with him, didn’t we?’

‘We did excellent. With all of them.’

‘Wow, dad, this is absolutely amazing!’ Adrien says, walking around the car, his brothers following him closely. ‘Thank you, I don’t know how to thank you enough for it.’

‘Just make sure you don’t wreck the car, then we’ll be alright.’

‘We don’t want to scrap you or anyone from this vehicle,’ Becky says, placing her hands over Dominic’s ears. ‘Okay?’

‘Yes, mom,’ Adrien says with a smile. ‘How about I bring the boys back home?’

Henry looks at his watch, seeing it’s not at a time that it’s too busy on the road. ‘Sure, just grab the seat from our car and you’ll be fine.’

Adrien swiftly grabs Dominic from their car and places it into the backseat. ‘Okay, ready to go?’

‘Yes!’ the boys yell and quickly give their mom a kiss and their dad a cool boy hand shake. They all step in, Adrien helping Dominic in his car seat and Henry and Becky stare at the car as Adrien drives off.

‘I’m not worrying,’ Becky says.

‘You are, darling, however there is nothing for you to worry about. Adrien is a responsible young fellow—obviously taking after his dad—and the kids will be fine.’

While there was nothing to worry about, Becky did worry the entire way back and she also didn’t like sitting at home, glancing out of the window, hoping to see the car arrive.

Henry stands behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss on her temple. ‘I love you.’

‘Love you too,’ she says. ‘And they have been gone for a long time now and I think something happened to them. Oh no, what if they— Oh, thank the heavens, there they are!’ She wants to wiggle out of his arms, but Henry is stronger, whispering a: ‘Let them.’

It’s hard, but she does let them. They witness all of the boys getting out of the car, Adrien holding Dominic’s hand and his happy meal box, as the other boys step out of the car as well. Lucas wraps his arm around Jordan, obviously joking around, as the two laugh loudly.

‘We did well,’ Becky says.

‘We did splendid, darling and I would never ever would’ve wanted it with someone else,’ Henry says, pressing a kiss on her lips. ‘Because you, my love, are the heart of the home.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Taglist: @diegos-butt // @henryobsessed // @crazybutconfidentaf // @cherry-gemz // @sparklesmolwarriorprincess // @oh-for-fic-sake // @sunshine96love // @gearhead66 // @omgkatinka // @thelastsock // @toomanystoriessolittletime // @summersong69 // @kakaym // @abschaffer2 // @mis-lil-red // @pterodactylterrace // @sugarpenchant // @english8muffin // @coloraturadiva // @xobriellaxo24 // @oddsnendsfanfics // @christhickevans // @cynic-spirit // @kebabgirl67 // @sugarplum1996 // @shewritesinthethirdperson // @eldarwen333 // @sesamepancakes // @shamelesssoff // @thehunterintrenchcoat // @littlebvbie // @anitababi // @sofiebstar // @enchantedbytomandhenry // @lyrarodriguez

[okaybutlikeimagine]

A Father’s Day Triptych

TW: past/referenced child abuse, emotional hurt/comfort, child neglect

(you can find it on AO3 here ♥)

Father’s day in the Hargrove household was always pulled taut with expectations of kindness and submission hanging over Billy’s head.

They didn’t always used to be that way. When he was a kid, Father’s days felt like a reprieve rather than a burden. Billy and his mom would prepare special things- a nice card that would make him laugh, those new fishing poles he’d been eyeing in the big sporting store a town over, a pretty cake with fresh fruit on top from the grocer down the way. His mother went all out. She’d get Billy all excited for it too. The strenuous relationships were softened for a day where they did everything they could to make him happy.

They really did… everything they could just to make him happy. Sometimes Billy still wonders why it had to take so much.

Around Father’s day, his mother would use all her spending money to make his father smile. It usually worked. And for that day, it was so good. It could hardly get better. Grilling and watching stupid baseball games Billy never cared about but would pretend to be interested in, just for him. Fake smiles almost became real. Hot dogs and hamburgers and watermelon always tasted better on those days when his father would put his arm around Billy amicably- when he would laugh at the card and compliment how Billy’s penmanship was getting better every year.

The year that she left was the worst.

The year that she left Billy stopped getting an allowance. He had no money to soften the edges of his father with fresh cakes and fancy presents. He panicked. He stole a stupid fishing keychain from a store and made a card from his school notebook paper. He presented them with shaking hands to his father who seemed glued to the couch, eyes bloodshot, surrounded by beer cans, baseball game so loud Billy’s ears felt sore.

He got a grunt and a lazy eye roll in response. A slurred groan of “your writing is sloppy”. A quieter admission of regret.

He got resentment. Billy was 9 and he knew it was resentment towards his very existence. He slid away to his room. There was no dinner to eat that night as his father passed out on the couch with the TV still on far too loud.

When Susan and Max came into the picture, Billy miraculously found a reason to be happy for it. Suddenly there was pressure taken off of him. He let Max know it too, as Susan encouraged them to go out and “at least get him a card”. They’d lazily look through all the forcibly funny and generic pieces of paper. Max was nervous that first year.

“It’s whatever.” Billy had grunted, looking through ugly green cards with stupid phrases on them. “She’s gonna bang him tonight, he won’t care about a dumb card.”

“Ew.” Max had whined, covering her ears and pouting. Billy couldn’t find it in himself to care.

It was never fun. Billy felt like he was on a leash all day long, obligated to do everything he could for his father just to keep him civil. Susan made a steak, the kids handed over the card, his father remarked how his penmanship was the mark of someone lazy and sloppy (no matter how hard Billy would try to make it as neat as he possibly could), and the day would end. And he could stop thinking about how this man still had a hand in his life.

…

Father’s day in the Hopper household was always bumbling and awkward.

By the time that first one came around, Billy was just beginning to feel less like a burden to the house and more like an addition. He’d found comfort in the space they all shared. They had a sort of routine set between all of them. There was still no second bed for Billy, so he still felt like he was imposing when Hop slept on the couch, but it was a sort of pull out couch by that point and Hop insisted and Billy decided not to pay it too much mind.

And that first Father’s day was just… awkward. Billy had completely forgotten the date- summer had just started for him and days were rolling by in hot and languid and lazy moments of feeling out every new situation. He had just started getting really serious with Steve. Not just touching for the sake of getting off but really starting to need and want each other in ways that scared him. In ways that made him want to keep things how they were- ways that made him scared to change a thing. It was a new and alien feeling for him.

El had inadvertently learned about Father’s day from Mike when he briefly groaned about dinner plans his family had. Billy found that out from El on their drive to the store to pick something up for Hop. She had to convince Billy it was a thing they should do, because Hopper was their father. He did fatherly things for them. He took them in and gave them a roof and food and asked how their days were and wished them goodnight and good morning, however groggily. He made stupid jokes that made them moan and he danced horribly to the old records he kept on their dusty shelf and he was horrible with laundry and he whistled as he did dishes.

He introduced Billy proudly in the grocery store once. It was the weekend after Billy had a really good basketball game that Hop had decided to attend. Hop bragged about it to some friend of his. Billy flushed red and elbowed him and tried his best to escape.

He thought about it every single day.

Billy and El bought a large cheesy balloon, ingredients to make a nice lasagna dinner, and a green and white cake from the bakery. The balloon was more for El. The lasagna was a little burnt. Hop was too nice to say he’d have preferred pie to cake, but he ate it anyway as they sat around the TV and watched whatever program was on. Billy only remembered as he fell slowly into sleep that night. He jolted awake quickly, remembering a sort of far off conversation months ago where Hop had proclaimed confidently that pie was the superior dessert of anything else- yes, even Eggo's with whipped cream and sprinkles. How he admitted cake was never his favorite.

Billy felt shame overcome him as he remembered, pushing himself out of bed and turning to the sofa with the immediate want to apologize for it. He wasn’t sure what came over him.

But instead of sending pleading apologies into the darkness, he just looked towards the sofa with a heavily beating heart and let his eyes adjust. And he thought about all that man had done for the two of them. Thought about how he took in these two stray kids. Thought about how he knew Hop was getting flack for it, because Billy heard the whispers and the snickers and the sneers about Hop running a dog pound. Thought about how he gave up his probably comfier trailer for the rundown cabin, gave up the main bedroom for the dusty spare bed, gave up the dusty spare bed for the couch, gave up parts of his sanity probably…

Billy didn’t wanna apologize anymore. He just whispered a thanks, even though it was hard to push up through his throat and would fall onto sleeping ears.

The Father’s days after that first one got better. They got Joyce, and along with her 2 boys that had their own rocky past with fathers and celebrations of them. Just four kids who feared and resented father figures. It ended up being better than Billy could imagine. It was never quite as awkward as that first Father’s day, but never quite comfortable either. That being said, it was never a bad day. The bar was low, but that didn’t matter. Billy found appreciation for the general ease all the same.

…

Father’s day in the Hargrove-Harrington-”whatever we’re together now and that’s what’s most important” household is filled with guilt and feelings of imposter syndrome.

They don’t celebrate it the first two or so years after they’ve adopted their first child. He’s just a toddler, he doesn’t quite understand yet what it is. And they… they’re still struggling with what it means to be fathers. They’re confident in their rights but they’re not immune to the judgmental voices, always eyeing them oddly when they’re out together with their boy or asking after the mother when they’re out separately. Always looking a little judgmental or harsh when they have to explain why the kid doesn’t look like them- whoever is with him at the time. Or getting looks of pity when the people clearly begin to assume it’s because they couldn’t get pregnant with whatever wife must be at home.

It’s hard to hear. It makes them question everything. If their boy doesn’t know what he’s missing, then there’s no need to explain.

Billy calls Hopper and feels his heart lurch when Hop and Joyce wish him and Steve a happy father’s day. They do it with joy and certainty. As if it belongs to them, too. Billy hangs up the phone and lays in bed for at least half an hour. Steve can’t get through to him.

It’s an odd feeling. A rough feeling. When they adopt their second child, a girl of 9 years old, they know they’re going to have to confront it. Their son begins school that year too. They find out about the day from their friends and television ads and store windows. The children are timid with them- they were adopted as supposed “problem children” from rough homes and tumultuous pasts. Billy and Steve don’t expect anything of them but they’re still not sure how to explain that. They figure ignoring is easier than explaining. Maybe it’ll make it go away.

It doesn’t work well.

And Billy… Billy’s just struggling being a dad. He couldn’t explain the job if he tried. He helps make lunches, he gives timeouts, he buys and subsequently sneaks himself some silly little snack foods when he’s hungry and busy and doesn’t have time to do more than rip open a pouch. He deals with tantrums over vegetables and he wipes mouths with napkins and he sings lullabies in the wrong key and he reads bedtime stories until he himself dozes off in the tiny bed with a small head on his chest and drool pooling onto his shirt.

He’s trying. He gets frustrated at stores. He gets a little hot headed, a little loud. His heart breaks when they cry. He’s straddling the line between being a pushover and a hard-ass. He lays awake at night, staring at the ceiling, dreading ever becoming like Neil. He asks Steve, in the stillness of the night when the darkness acts as the weight of every horrible outcome imaginable, if he’ll follow Neil’s wretched footsteps.

“You’ll never be like him, Billy.”

“How do you know? What if it’s inside me already.”

“It’s not.”

“Maybe it is… maybe I won’t be able to help it.”

He stresses and he struggles and he wants to rip his hair out.

But that first father’s day comes around with their new daughter and newly knowledgeable son. And the two children blunder around the kitchen while their two dads are asleep. And then they wake the two parents up, both teary eyed and breathing heavy, faces full of apology and sorrow, asking for help to clean up the mess.

And Billy and Steve find the kitchen a single step back from full on disaster. There’s juice all over the counter and dripping onto the floor, the cereal box is all soggy from it, the toaster is smoking, a plate is broken on the ground, the fridge is still open. Their daughter pulls on Billy’s pajama pants and holds out her finger that’s bleeding. He gets out of her that she somehow managed to cut it on the butter knife she was using to cut up some fruit.

Steve gets busy cleaning things up. He asks their son to help do smaller things like close the fridge and grab some towels.

Billy takes his daughter’s small soft hand into his large, rough one and plants a kiss on it. It sends something like pure love surging through his heart. He guides her to the bathroom to put a bandaid on it and asks if she’s okay.

“Mmhm.” She nods and his heart softens. She sniffles. “M’sorry. We wanted… wanted to make breakfast and w-wanted to do something nice.”

She sounds like the weight of the world is on her small shoulders. Billy sees himself at 9 years old, doing his damnedest to get anything close to a damn smile out of his father while he sat unresponsive and unamused on the couch.

His heart yearns. It breaks and it pulls and it screams and it shouts. He pulls her in close and hugs her tight and tries to find the right words. Tries to tell her it’s made his entire year. It’s made him feel validated and happy and worth it, like all of that stress is worth it just to know that these two children got up early as hell on a Sunday morning just to surprise their fathers. Just to surprise the two of them. Just to say they thought of them, wanted to give them something, wanted to make them feel special.

“It was nice.” Is all he can croak out through his froggy throat.

“It’s a mess.” She sobs, but he just grips her arms tighter.

“It was wonderful.” He says and he’s crying too. He can’t get the tears to stop. He’s kneeling on the bathroom ground, the two of them crying to each other.

And Billy swears he’ll never get good at the father thing. He has talks with Hop about it, when he’s feeling vulnerable and Hopper’s able to get it out of him. By this point they’ve adopted another child- an older boy, a teenager. He’s rough and he’s jaded. He listens to loud, angry music. He kind of picks on the other two kids, even though he’d jump in front of a bus for either one of them. Hop asks how he likes it.

“He’s a lot like you were, y’know.” Hop tells Billy, who still doesn’t really see it.

Steve doesn’t have as much of a problem with the boy as Billy does. Billy and him just never seem to see eye to eye.

“It’s because you’re the same people.” Hop insists. Steve agrees. Joyce affirms with pity. “You clash.”

They clash hard. They get into yelling matches. Billy never puts a hand on him, but the arguments aren’t exactly great. Billy cries to Steve at night, fear shaking him down to his core, still able to see and hear himself yelling at that boy who fights tooth and nail back with him.

“You’re not a bad person, Billy.”

“Why do I do that shit?” He asks, knowing full well no one but him could ever really know.

It’s not like it’s anything too vitriolic. It’s not like it’s anything really poisonous.

It’s over the fact that he stays out too late at night, and Billy gets worried. It’s the fact that Billy found cigarettes in his room and he knows the bad effects of cigarettes. It’s the fact that he pushed his little brother one day and made him scrape his knee and he needed to learn some boundaries. It’s the fact that he lied about his grades when Billy felt they gave him no reason to do such a thing.

It’s fatherly things. That’s what Hop assures him as Billy cries on the phone with him.

“It’s things I would have done with you.”

Billy never ever knows what to make of that. What to make of what he’d be like now if Hop was his father from the start. If Hop was there from the beginning. If Neil hadn’t made him a monster in his own image.

Billy does his best to get through to him. Get through to his son now because he’s his son now.

Billy feels like the worst, most undeserving father.

As the kids have gotten older, they learned better ways to celebrate father’s day. They learn breakfast in bed isn’t really what the two of them would prefer- a nice lunch and getting to spend some time with them sounds better. A homemade card always goes on the mantle or the fridge with the rest of the collection. A few hugs because those are like treasured gifts in this house with kids who have a history of boundary and trust issues with parental figures.

The older son catches Billy alone in the kitchen.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Billy replies awkwardly back. The silence is jarring.

“I uh… uhm.” He’s struggling. Billy wants to do something more than just stand here, but he’s not sure what. He doesn’t want to push anything too far. He wants to be good at this.

The boy puts a small, wrapped box on the counter with an envelope underneath and slides it over.

“Happy Father's day.” He mumbles, suddenly fidgeting.

Billy stares at them.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

There’s another pause, heavy with all the weight and worry in Billy’s heart. He reaches for the box, rips the paper open easily, lifts up the lid.

“It’s uh… it’s just a couple tapes of some of those… bands you like. And talk about. All the time.” The boy snickers, but it catches in his throat. He’s so nervous. “My friend’s family was getting rid of a bunch of their tapes and I know you’ve got your old tape player still so… uh… yeah.”

It’s a mixed bag of absolute classics. Some tapes he used to have, others he’s always wanted. Zeppelin, Ted Nugent, Def Leppard, Billy Idol, AC/DC, Alice Cooper… his heart skips. He lost a lot of his tapes after all the sudden moves he’s had to make. His eyes start to well.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Billy pushes out on a whisper.

“Are they any good?”

“They’re… they’re awesome, kid.”

“There’s a card too y’know.” The boy adds, still shuffling nervously.

Billy slips it out from under the box, pulling his finger underneath the flap to open it.

It’s… it’s ridiculous. It’s one of the cheesiest cards Billy’s ever seen. He thinks back to all the stupid, jokey cards he used to pick out with his mother. The joke inside actually makes him laugh, loud and bright.

There’s words written underneath, quite a few scribbled out and then-

Sorry for all the trouble. I think I just don’t like knowing you’re right sometimes… but thank you for everything.

The words are nearly chicken scratch- wobbly letters clearly written with a nervous and shaky hand. The boy is damn near bouncing now, damn near trying to crawl out of his skin with nerves.

It’s the best, prettiest, most wonderful chicken scratch handwriting Billy has ever seen. He can barely see it now through his misty eyes.

“Your… handwriting is really nice.”

The boy scoffs loudly.

“Uh, thanks?” He sounds like he doesn’t believe it. Still, Billy could swear he sees the boy preen, just a little.

“Thank you.” Billy says, fighting back tears, trying like hell to hold himself together. “I’m sorry, too. I don’t… I don’t have to yell at you so much. At all. I’m sorry about it.”

The boy is just staring at him, eyes a little wide and a little shocked. Billy feels his heart lurch. He just wants to be fucking good at this.

“I’m gonna do better.” Billy asserts through a not-so-wobbly-anymore voice

The boy gives a small smile that grows a bit wider. If Billy isn’t absolutely crazy yet, he’d say that the boy’s eyes are getting a bit misty too.

“So are those tapes actually good?” The boy asks, clearing his throat and trying to seem casual. Billy sees more and more of himself in him.

“Hell yeah… do you think I’d have bad taste?”

His son cackles just a bit, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, alright then. Whatever you say.”

There’s a pause. Billy takes the card and tucks it back into the envelope to save for himself- to put in a special place in his and Steve’s room. He then busies himself with shuffling through his tapes before his son says-

“We can… listen to some of them. If you want.”

Billy’s eyes shine with excitement and appreciation.

Listening to the tapes together is wonderful. They rib each other about what songs are better, what voices do and don’t sound the same, what the lyrics are like. They learn more about each other and maybe Billy is finally forced to admit that they’re a lot more alike than he realized.

And Billy starts to feel that maybe… maybe he can finally define what a father really means to him. And father’s days start to feel a bit more like they belong to him, too.

[nerdzzone]

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Part Two

____

Part Three

I did my best to take Scott's words to heart. It was eye-opening and, while it didn't change my concerns about how Grayson would be affected, it helped me soften my guard a little bit when it came to Chris.

We were both in over our heads, stuck with feelings that we didn't know what to do with and insecurities that left us unable to fight for what we wanted. I had doubts and I had questions, but if what Scott had divulged was true then I did have some sympathy for Chris because I knew exactly how he'd been feeling for the last few years.

So, I decided to talk to him. To hash it out, lay it all on the table and see what he had to say. I wasn't entirely sure I would change my mind about the situation, but I wanted to give him a chance to explain his thoughts and feelings unlike how I'd shut the conversation down after Christmas.

But I didn't count on how chaotic it was to be trapped in a house, all day every day, with a child who was almost three. Even with three adults, there were days when it felt like we were the ones who were outnumbered as we took turns trying to keep him constantly entertained and stimulated. To our credit, it was working and we were managing to keep Grayson from being bored, anxious to go out to a park or noticing that things were all that different, but it meant that I had no time or energy to deal with heavy conversations. Things were fine between Chris and I, we were getting along well enough with no more noteworthy disagreements, but there hadn't been a good time for any kind of heart-to-heart.

Things only got more complicated about a week and a half into our lockdown when Chris had to start doing interviews. He had a new show, Defending Jacob, coming out in a few weeks and he had to start the promo for it.

Most people who were working from home these days with small children running around had way more difficult situations to balance than we did, but we knew it would be tricky to keep Grayson from getting curious and barging into an interview. He'd proven to be quite sneaky when he wanted to be and Chris was anxious about the whole thing. He wasn't a big fan of interviews at the best of times so doing it over Zoom made him even more nervous. He spent the whole morning fretting about it being awkward, concerned that he wouldn't be able to relax and act natural, and it seemed like he was channelling his anxiety into his worries about Grayson. He very much liked to be in control of what the world saw of Gray and having him crash an interview wasn't what he wanted. I completely agreed and assured him several times that I wouldn't let that happen, but I could tell he was still stressed about it as he dragged himself off to get ready.

For the first hour or so that Chris was working, things went well. We read a story and played with some Lego, activities that wouldn't get Grayson too excited and noisy, but when Scott suggested that he curl up on the couch and watch Finding Nemo with him, we ran into a problem.

"Okay!" Grayson cheered, jumping up from where we'd been playing on the floor. "Be right back!"

He took off down the hall and I leapt into action, calling his name and stopping him just as he got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Where are you going, buddy?"

"To get my bear!"

Grayson's room was upstairs, next to Chris' office. He knew where Chris was so I knew there was a good chance he would stop by to say hello on his way past the door.

"Why don't you go get settled on the couch with Uncle Scott and I'll get your bear so you don't miss any of the movie?" I suggested. "Is he in your room?"

"No," he shook his head. "He's in Daddy's office."

I held back a groan, knowing that Gray would not be happy if I explained that he couldn't have his bear for the movie because we weren't allowed in Daddy's office right now. But I also knew that now he'd decided that he wanted to watch a movie, it wasn't likely that he would settle doing anything else either.

"Well, Daddy's very busy in his office right now," I explained. "But I'll go upstairs and see if I can sneak in and get him, okay?"

Grayson agreed to that suggestion and ran off back towards the living room as I glanced at the clock on the wall quickly and hoped that Chris was between interviews. I knew he wouldn't be done for the day just yet, but he had a few lined up so there was a chance that he wasn't currently on a call.

As soon as I pressed my ear to the door of Chris' office, my hopes were dashed. I could hear the sound of laughter echoing through from his laptop so I knew he was in the middle of something, but just as I was about to walk away I heard something that caught my attention.

"You have a son of your own, don't you?" The interviewer asked and I cringed, knowing that it wasn't something Chris liked to discuss. His character in the show was a father though so I wasn't surprised it had come up, it gave them a segue that they hadn't really had before. "How is that going with this lockdown?"

Ever the professional, Chris didn't even hesitate before he answered even though I knew he would be annoyed by the line of questioning.

"Oh, it's great! He's staying with me until all this is over so it's great that we get to spend so much time together," he told the interviewer. "I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where I can just take a few months off until things cool down without too much worry so we've just been relaxing, building blanket forts, watching movies and getting in some bonding time that I miss out on when I'm busy. It's had some challenges, but it's been really nice."

I knew I shouldn't be listening, it was rude to eavesdrop even if the conversation would shortly be broadcast to the whole world, but again, the interviewer's next question had me too intrigued to walk away. Despite all the talking points that he could have chosen from Chris' answer, he zeroed in on one thing.

"He's staying with you for the entire lockdown? Is there a rekindled romance we don't know about?" He asked. "Or is his mother no longer in the picture?"

My jaw dropped. I didn't know who Chris was talking with today, but it wasn't like his team to set him up for any interviews where he would be asked questions like that and most interviewers were too polite to fish for the kind of gossip you'd find in a trashy magazine.

"Oh, I'm not gonna get into all that." Chris' tone was much more clipped than it had been moments before - he was clearly not impressed by the question either. "It's not anyone's business really, is it? But I will say that she is definitely in the picture and one of the best moms that I know. She's staying here with us too."

My heart melted a bit at his compliment even though I knew the words he added at the end meant that we were in for a whole new gossip storm.

It suddenly felt like I really was overstepping by standing at the door listening to this conversation without his knowledge so I headed back downstairs. As I got back into the living room, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a message to Chris:

It would appear that you have a stowaway. I know you're busy, but please return Mr. Bear at your earliest convenience.

I put my phone away as I explained the situation to Grayson, but luckily, he was too interested in the movie to pay much attention to what I'd said. By the time Chris came down with the bear, it was like he'd forgotten that he ever cared about it in the first place.

Most of my attention was on Chris at that point though. The way he scurried into the room, avoiding looking in my direction at all. He looked ashamed and withdrawn and I couldn't hold back a sigh when he left the room quickly as I knew that he was beating himself up over the conversation that he didn't even know I'd heard.

-

Chris was sullen for the rest of the day. He perked up around Grayson, but whenever Gray was distracted there was a scowl or a frown firmly planted on his face. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know how without confessing that I'd overheard his interview. Given his mood and the ease with which we fell into disagreements these days, that seemed like it would cause more issues than it would help.

The news broke at about eleven that night and I knew because I was suddenly inundated with texts from friends and with follower requests on my private social media accounts. I pulled up the video and watched the interview, feeling another wave of empathy when I saw the annoyance written all over Chris' face as he answered the questions. He'd found a subtle way to shut the interview down almost immediately after the incident and I was proud of him for handling it so diplomatically.

I added it to the list of things that I needed to talk to Chris about whenever I got the chance as I pulled myself away from my laptop and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth before bed. However, when I got into the hallway, I noticed a light coming up from downstairs. As far as I knew, everyone had gone to bed almost an hour ago, but I had a good idea whose thoughts would be keeping them awake so I headed down to investigate.

My suspicions were confirmed as I walked into the living room and saw Chris on the couch, his phone in his hand and his brow furrowed.

"Uh oh," I started, making his eyes snap up towards me. "Are you doomscrolling?"

The angry look on his face softened slightly as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Doomscrolling?"

"Yeah," I shrugged with a smile. "That's what the kids call it these days when you spend too long scrolling through the news or Twitter, just soaking in all the bad shit in the world."

Chris chuckled as I moved into the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch that he was on, tucking my feet underneath me.

"I didn't know you were so down with the kids these days."

"I'm getting old, Chris. I'm almost thirty-two, I have to stay cool somehow." I shot him a wink. "But anyway, what are you reading that's making you look so grumpy?"

Chris sighed and locked his phone, putting it on the end table next to the couch.

"I said something in an interview today," he admitted. "Something that I shouldn't have said."

I watched him for a moment, waiting for him to look at me and elaborate, but when he didn't, I spoke up.

"I hope you're not about to tell me that you regret saying what a good mom I am or I'll be really disappointed..."

That comment brought Chris' gaze back to me, his shock evident on his face until it faded into a grimace.

"You heard what I said?"

"I watched the video," I admitted. "I had a flurry of Instagram activity that tipped me off."

"You didn't read the comments, did you?"

There was worry written all over Chris' face when I shrugged.

"Of course I did. Can't have my self-esteem getting too high, can we?" I was teasing, but his look of gloom only deepened. "Chris, it doesn't matter. I'm no supermodel, they're not saying anything I don't already know."

"See, this is what bothers me," Chris snapped. "My so-called 'fans' are out there spewing all this crap about you and you're acting like it's all true, so who cares? Well, I care because it's bullshit and you don't deserve it!"

"I didn't mean it like that," I assured him, keeping my voice quiet in an attempt to cool the situation.

We'd been here many times over the years and I knew how enraged the comments made Chris. He saw right through me, he knew that I took some of the things that had been said to heart, but who wouldn't? It's hard not to take it personally when someone points out your biggest insecurities, the things that you hope no one else notices, the things that you tell yourself can't possibly be true or as bad as you think in your head. It's impossible not to let it get to you a little bit, but I was well practiced at dealing with it and had grown a thicker skin.

At least, when it came to the comments about my appearance. The comments about how I'm not good enough and how Chris could do better always struck a cord, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

"No?" Chris huffed. "What did you mean then?"

"That I know I'm an easy target because I'm not stick thin with a boob job," I answered, wanting to diffuse the situation before Chris got too upset. "They're cruel and mean, but they're just jealous because they think their dream boyfriend is taken now."

"Well, anyone who claims to be a real fan of mine wouldn't talk like that about someone I care about," he grumbled. "I shouldn't have answered, I should have just ignored the question."

"Actually, I'm glad you didn't. I'm glad you set the record straight rather than have everyone think I've abandoned my child. I would probably get even more hate for that."

"He shouldn't have even asked about it," Chris continued. "It was so out of line. Why can't people just mind their own business?"

"Because everyone adores you and has a burning desire to know everything about you," I teased, stretching my feet out to nudge his leg gently. His lips twitched briefly into a smile, but it faded as fast as it appeared. "Even my friends were all messaging me, asking if it was true like gossiping teenage girls. Everyone wants the Chris Evans scoop."

That comment earned me a chuckle and I relaxed slightly, hoping that he was starting to calm down.

"I'm sure your friends were more interested in the gossip about your life, not because of me."

"I dunno," I shrugged. "They always liked you."

Chris smiled, but a sigh slipped from his lips as he draped his arm over my feet where they rested on the couch next to him. We sat quietly for a moment as I continued watching him, wishing there was something I could say to ease the worry in his mind, but his next words left me a little bit speechless.

"I do get it, you know?" He said, his eyes still fixed firmly on the ground in front of him. "I get why you wouldn't want to be with me. I get that it's a lot to deal with."

My heart sank at his admission and I scrambled to figure out what to say.

It wasn't ideal - discussing our relationship, while he was already feeling quite murderous - but he'd brought it up and it was hard to say when we'd get another chance. Once again, I found myself fighting the urge to bolt for the door, but I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, hoping that this would be a civil conversation.

"Chris, it's not that," I insisted, my voice soft in what I hoped would be a soothing tone. "Maybe they didn't do anything to ease my concerns, but the bullies on the internet aren't what scared me away."

"No?" His eyes flicked up to meet mine. "Then what did?"

He sounded so defeated and I bit my lip to keep my emotions from bubbling up. The truth was that I didn't know where to start. There was too much floating around my head, too many questions and too many explanations that made less sense now that I knew what I knew after speaking with Scott. I was scared, but it was a very justified fear that could only be made sense of by answering his question with another question.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were in love with me?"

Chris raised an eyebrow, but shrugged off the question.

"You didn't seem like you wanted to hear it, Whitney. I told you that I was all in after Christmas and you shut me down pretty fast," he pointed out. "I didn't think blurting out a confession of love would do much to change that."

Had that been what I was referring to, it would have been a fair argument. However, I was referring to long before our latest incident so I shook my head.

"I talked to Scott," I confessed as a slight look of betrayal slid onto Chris’ face. "Don't be mad, he'd had a few drinks and was feeling sentimental. He told me that you were in love with me long before Grayson was even in the picture, but you never told me."

"I slept with you, didn't I?" He questioned, a defensiveness creeping into his tone. "Doesn't that make someone's feelings pretty fuckin' clear?"

"Hardly," I scoffed. "People sleep with people they're not in love with all the time and it becomes even less clear when they meet up afterwards to have a discussion about their relationship and that someone makes no mention of being in love."

"Was it really a discussion? Or did I show up at your apartment just to hear you lay out the ground rules?"

I faltered slightly as I thought back, but after a moment of reflection, I nodded.

"It was a discussion."

"I believe the first words out of your mouth were 'I think we both know that we're better off as friends'," he informed me. "Doesn't leave much room for debate."

"I was scared." That confession came out less confidently, but I found my voice again quickly. "And I assumed that's what you wanted too because you never pushed back."

He cocked his head to the side, a hint of a smirk on his face.

"You weren't the only one who was scared."

"I was the only one who was pregnant," I retorted, my tone growing harsher as my frustrations started to rise. "I was the only one who was trying to make a massive life decision while hormonal and growing another human being inside of them."

"That's fair," Chris nodded, his voice much calmer than I expected after my burst of annoyance. "But I wasn't about to pour my heart out and tell you how I felt when you kept talking about what a mistake we'd made as if you'd never regretted anything more in your life."

"Getting pregnant was a mistake," I clarified. "I love Grayson and I wouldn't change it for anything, but we can't say it wasn't a mistake at the time given our situation."

"A situation that you didn't want to change."

"Only because you never told me how you felt," I shot back. "I didn't want you to commit to something out of a sense of obligation. I didn't want you to put up with me for a few years until you dumped me for someone more in your league who you actually cared about."

There was a look of surprise on Chris' face at that revelation as it became more and more obvious to both of us that we hadn't been as good at communicating as we may have thought. It seemed we'd both been so convinced that we knew exactly how the other person felt that we hadn't bothered to actually ask them.

"But I did care about you," he assured me. "And you never told me how you felt either."

"I slept with you, didn't I?"

There was a smirk on my face as I threw his words back at him despite the anxiety that was bubbling inside me.

"A wise woman just informed me that sleeping with someone doesn't necessarily mean anything," he teased, a soft smile on his face. "But I think it's safe to say that we were both cowards."

"Again, in my defence, I was pregnant," I reminded him. "I was trying to make a logical decision while my brain was muddled with hormones."

"But you could have told me after," he pointed out. "We lived together for year after he was born, Whitney, and you never even dropped a hint."

"Oh, please," I snorted out a harsh laugh. "Do you remember what that year was like? We had a newborn baby who never slept for more than ten minutes at a time and you were flying in and out for the first six months, filming one of the Avengers movies. I was delirious, exhausted and emotionally wrecked. I wasn't in the right head space to give much thought to our relationship."

"So, if I had made a move back then? Would it have made a difference?" He asked. "Because it didn't seem to matter much a few months ago."

This was the real issue at hand.

It was all well and good to talk about the past and how we'd managed to come this far so oblivious to each other's feelings, but the real discussion was where we were at now. And the truth was, that I didn't know.

I opened my mouth to answer, but shut it as my words escaped me. I shifted nervously, shrugging under his stare until a sigh fell from my lips.

"I'm not sure anymore," I admitted. "If you'd told me how you felt back then, if you fought for us to be together then I might've been swayed."

"But now?"

"Now, I think we made the right decision for Grayson."

Chris was still staring me down, his eyes locked on mine as if he was looking into my soul. It was an intensity that was hard to endure and I was relieved when he spoke again, despite how his words made my heart ache.

"But what about the right decision for us?"

"That's not what's important," I insisted. "I've seen so many of my friends struggle through their parents' bitter divorces, I don't want that for Gray. I don't want us to lose our ability to work as a team and put him first."

"Yeah, you mentioned that several times," Chris huffed. "But I don't see why you're so fuckin' convinced that we'd end up hating each other."

His frustration and impatience was shining through and I felt my panic rising again. Chris had made his stance clear and I knew I needed to make a decision soon or my lack of decision would decide for me, but I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The thought of not being with Chris made my heart ache especially now that I knew the extent of his feelings, but the thought of being with him and the consequences that could come from that set every anxious nerve in my body on edge.

I found myself scrambling for something to say that was non-committal, but would placate the situation. I floundered until, fortunately, a tiny voice from the doorway saved me.

"Daddy said a bad word..."

I leapt off the couch, desperate for any excuse to get away and Chris raised his eyebrow at my swift reaction. I ignored him as I looked at Grayson, who was rubbing his eyes with one hand and clutching his bear in the other. He looked so small, standing there in his little flannel pajamas and I smiled at the sight.

"That is a bad word," I agreed. "Daddy shouldn't have said it. But what are you doing up?"

"I had a bad dream."

His voice was small as he was still half asleep and Chris stood, following me over as I walked towards him.

"I'm sorry to hear that, buddy," he said, lifting him up in his arms. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Grayson shook his head. "It was scary."

"Awe, I'm sorry, sweetheart," I frowned as I rubbed his back, my heart melting at how small he looked in Chris' arms. "Do you want me to tuck you back in or Daddy?"

He rested his head on Chris' chest and pulled his bear so close that his answer got muffled by the stuffed animal's fur.

"I want to sleep in Daddy's bed..."

I looked up at Chris, letting him decide if that was okay, but he was already nodding his head.

"Sure, we can do that," he assured him. "But don't hog all the blankets this time, okay?"

Grayson giggled and I smiled as they headed to the door.

"Goodnight, boys," I called to them before they disappeared. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Chris paused to answer me and flashed me a look that made me feel like a schoolgirl being scolded by the principal. "This conversation isn't over."

It felt like a foreboding warning and it left me so flustered that all I could do was nod before he turned and continued on his way to his bedroom.

He was right.

Our conversation couldn't end there unless we wanted another four years of miscommunication and mutual longing, but I didn't know what to do. I wasn't trying to be difficult, but both options seemed destined to lead to heartache. Of course, I had no evidence to prove that we wouldn't live happily ever after, but he was Chris Evans. He was the man that women all over America, all over the world, would kill to be with. And I was just me. Once I fell off whatever pedestal he'd put me on in his mind and he realized how ordinary and unremarkable I was, it wouldn't last.

And I couldn't spend the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

With a sigh, I headed to the stairs. My head was a mess despite my hopes that talking to Chris would bring me some clarity. It seemed I was starting a pattern of coming away from late night conversations with more questions than answers, but I was beginning to think that might be due to the fact that I would never be told what I wanted to hear. No one could make this decision for me and no one could make it a fool proof choice.

There was always a risk when it came to love. I just had to decide if that risk was worth it and start being honest with myself about why I was so scared. Were my intentions really as noble as I wanted everyone to believe? Or was I using Grayson as a shield to protect my own heart from pain as much as his?

-

Part Four

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

[up-sideand-down]

Gangster Cloud and honnor student Sephiroth Au

Please

You give me so many fun prompts!

1. Sephiroth's father is a hitman for a mob syndicate in Midgar. Sephiroth is well aware of this. His mother told him after their divorce. Sephiroth chose to live with her only after he turned 14. His father fought it, but there wasn't much he could do when Sephiroth had a list of times his father was not a good father at all. He later admitted he only did it to hurt Seph's mom. Sephiroth does love his mom. She wants him to have a good education, get into a good school, and have a good job far away from his father's influence. Sephiroth wants it too.

His father reached out recently, from out of Midgar, to keep an eye out for a rival gang thats looking to take a hunk of flesh out of him. Sephiroth felt furious. He didn't even live with him anymore. Why did his life have to affect his?

"Did you even tell them I hate you too?" Sephiroth asked. His father just laughed.

2. Sephiroth noticed people following him on his way to and from school. He tried to ignore it or get pictures of them on his phone camera, like his Mom said he should. For now they kept their distance.

The day they didn't he had a guardian angel. A blonde caught up to him.

"Hey man, I haven't seen you in ages," he said seeming cheerful. He stepped in a little closer. "Keep walking, keep your head down, do as I say. You'll be fine." Sephiroth felt his blood run cold.

"Why should I believe you," Sephiroth said, "I don't even like my father."

"I know," the blonde said, "you remember Mrs. Gainsborough's class? I do. Turn here. At the alley...we run." Sephiroth felt his heart beating out of his chest. The blonde pulled him into a sprint when they turned down the alley. His backpack was so damn heavy. He went through a maze of back storerooms and alleys until he was out Sector 7 in front of a restaurant.

"This is a no-go zone," the blonde said, "no one starts shit here. You should be safe. Go on in."

3. Seventh Heaven was truly a no go zone. No if anyone wanted to stay alive in their own gangs. A blonde woman was behind the counter. She gave a friendly smile.

"Hi there," she said, "can I getcha something?" Sephiroth shook his head, still feeling shaken.

"Cloud honey?" the woman asked.

"No thanks Ma," Cloud said. Mrs. Strife eventually coaxed Sephiroth behind the counter when he got the shakes, got some food in him and called his Mom. She rushed there when Sephiroth explained what happened. Cloud sat in the corner keeping watch. Sephiroth's mother was frantic when she got there.

"I'm fine Mom," Sephiroth said, though he was still shaken.

"Your son is welcome to stay here after school," Mrs. Strife offered, "I'll even get him a free cup of coffee while he does his homework." Seph's mom knew when an offer was being made in a truce zone. Mrs. Strife believed Sephiroth was not like his father and wanted to help him.

"Please," she said, "he's a good boy."

"Of course," Mrs. Strife said, "Cloud said he was.

4. Cloud Strife dropped out of school in 10th grade. His mother let him. He didn't do well in it, but he was smart. He got his GED within that year. He joined Avalanche in school because that's what you had to do in this neighborhood. Avalanche was at least about helping the neighborhood. Most of the time.

He actually went to school with Sephiroth through elementary school. He had a massive crush on him. It didn't stop when Ma explained that Sephiroth's father probably killed his. It just made him feel more conflicted though.

Mrs. Gainsborough's 4th grade class was a great year though. She had a box where you could put in your troubles and she'd "keep" them for you. Cloud saw when Sephiroth put one in once. He stayed behind and fished it out. It broke his heart.

Sephiroth anonymously wished his father would just drop dead. So he and his mom could be happy again. He never blamed Sephiroth for what his Dad did ever again.

And his crush went wild until Sephiroth's parents divorced and Sephiroth went to another school. After that Cloud joined Avalanche and...well that was that.

5. Not many people believe stories you tell about someone you used to know in elementary school. Cloud took a huge risk saving Sephiroth that day. Barret, his "boss" gave him shit and told him to lay fucking low for a while. Cloud did. Besides, he knew Ma would work her magic. Nothing spread truth like diner gossip.

Cloud sat close by as Sephiroth nursed coffee over his massive amounts of homework. His Ma talked cheerfully at him, slowly prying the real truth out of him.

"Your mother seems like a real nice lady," she said.

"She is," Sephiroth said, "the only bad thing she ever did was marry my father."

"Is he that bad?" she asked. Sephiroth was quiet for a while.

"When they got divorced and I visited for the first time he held a knife to me and told me he'd gut me if I told anyone about what he did," Sephiroth said.

"He's lucky he wasn't my ex-husband," Mrs. Strife said, "They'd still be finding pieces of him today if he threatened my baby." Sephiroth cracked a smile and the mood went back.

But the magic worked. The gossip spread from the other diner tables to the streets, then to higher ups. Sephiroth's dad didn't really care for his boy that much. Seph was safe again.

6. Sephiroth kept going to Seventh Heaven after that. Cloud didn't stay as much since his "hunch" was correct and he was back to working.

Ma had a weird smile now though. He didn't like what was up.

"Whatcha still doing here?" Cloud asked, stopping by for pie one day.

"I feel like I owe you," Sephiroth said, "you saved my life. You didn't have to. My dad's a piece of shit."

"You're not you're dad," Cloud shrugged.

"I want to repay you though," Sephiroth said. Cloud thought it over then smirked. He thought of Aerith, Avalanche's best pickpocket with her newest distraction.

"How about one date," he offered. Sephiroth blushed and looked away, struggling to do his trigonometry.

But he didn't say no...

[yoonieboonie]

The Substitute Lover (6)

word count: 2.5k

genre: fluff, angst hehe

pairing: myg x reader

summary: Finally meeting the college boy you’ve been eyeing on for months, everything goes wrong when you realise what you’re really getting yourself into.

a/n: this is part 6 !!! Thank you for the feedback from last chapter!  The vote for updates was split so I updated on the weekends and weekdays! :> If you can, please please please leave me a feedback after reading this chapter. :> Thank you!!!

NEXT | PREVIOUS

"Joonie, you promised." You groan into your phone. You are pacing back and forth in your apartment as you talk to Namjoon who decided to do a raincheck on your plans today. You were supposed to buy a gift for your Mom as her birthday was near. If you can't be there physically, you at least wanted to send something.

"I know, Y/N." he sighed on the other line. "I was pulled in by Mijin saying Mrs. Lee needs me for rehearsals. No one else in our batch can play flute but me." you can hear in his voice that he wasn't fond of the circumstances too, so you decided to let it go. You can just go alone.

"I contacted Hoba, he can take you."

You found yourself roaming the mall alone for a good hour when you receive a message, asking where you are. Assuming that it was Hoseok's new number, you respond with your location and saved it under the name "Hobi" as you pocketed it to continue your stroll.

You turn to a corner and your mouth opened to gape like a fish. Yoongi is walking towards you with his hands in his pockets. He finally reaches you as you close your mouth.

"I'm assuming Joon didn't tell you that I was coming?" He mused. I shook my head mutely.

"Does Eujin know about this?" you asked. You didn't mean to impose. Yoongi nodded his head. Why was he lying about something as simple as this?

He doesn't know. He doesn't even know why he said yes to this at all. All he knows is that he intends to enjoy today. He's having too much on his plate. You shrugged and cleared your throat.

"I want to buy a shark charm." you said, not looking at him.

"Shark?" he repeated. You put your hands together and placed it above your head as if to act like fins. "Sharks. Jaws. Fish are friends, not food?" you mused.

This made him smile to himself. You really are a peculiar one. "That's my favourite animal to exist, I'm giving that to my mom as something to remember me by."

He nods in understanding. He then leads you to what you assumed were a jewelry store. You trail behind him quietly. This was the start of your friendship and you didn't want to jinx it by doing or saying anything stupid.

You two walk around the store quietly. Charms of different sizes and figures displayed in a glass case, sparkling in the lights that illuminated the whole store. You try to focus on looking for the charm you intend to buy, momentarily forgetting about Yoongi.

You hear a throat cleared beside you and you turn thinking it was Yoongi, rushing you to hurry and pick already. To your surprise, you were faced with a handsome, handsome young man. Confused, you moved to the side, thinking that you may have blocked his way.

"Anything I can help you with, ma'am?" the man asked politely. You then realised that he was a clerk at the store. You feel heat creep up your cheeks just as you failed to answer immediately. You were too busy being flustered to even open your mouth.

Yoongi was quickly beside you, making you recollect yourself.

"I-I'm looking for a shark charm." You said, and awkwardly doing the fin thing you did for Yoongi earlier. The man in front of you chuckled heartily, revealing a dimple on his cheek. You found yourself blushing again.

Yoongi clicked his tongue in annoyance and lifted his hands to bring your "fins" down. Once your hands are back to your sides, he spoke up.

"He knows what a shark is, Y/N. You don't have to do the hands." You nod, and subtly glance at the nametag of the man in front of you that read "Jeongguk".

"Follow me, sir." Jeongguk paused for a while. "Ma’am." he warmly smiled again.

Jeongguk showed you all types of charms and pendants available in the store and in the end, you bought a bracelet charm. It was beautiful.

"Thank you, Jeongguk. My mother would love this, I'm sure." You thanked him one last time. He bowed slightly.

Yoongi was itching to leave and you are honestly sorry to take up so much of his time. So you both head to the exit but before you reach the door, you hear a soft "wait" behind you.

Yoongi was the one to turn first, and then you did. It was Jeongguk. You assumed you have forgotten something but he handed you a piece of paper.

"I wasn't going to since it was unethical," he explained. "But I don't want to have met you and not shoot my shot."

Yoongi snatched the piece of paper from Jeongguk before you could get it. Was he fucking invisible? What was this guy's deal?

"What's your deal, man? Don't you see that we came in together?" Yoongi asked, trying to stay calm.

"I didn't think you would mind, sir." Jeongguk explains. Yoongi shot a brow at this.

"The ring on your finger." Jeongguk answers. "She doesn't have one."

You try and keep a straight face and act unaffected with the statement. Before you can even reply, Yoongi was dragging you out of the mall and into the parking space, not even bothering to stop. He was pissed beyond words. Why was everyone endeared by you? This was a mystery to him.

And you? Blushing furiously at everything that boy said. He scoffed beside you, while you are still oblivious to why he got angry. You assumed it was because you inconvenienced him. You are already thinking of ways to apologise but you were busy not tripping. He wasn't as tall as Namjoon but he was relatively taller than you and you had to jog in order to catch up to his pace as he continue to drag you by your cardigan sleeve.

He was mumbling angrily as he dragged you to his car. You stayed quiet beside him, he must've felt humiliated to be with you. Had you not been with him, he wouldn't be mad right now.

"Yoongi." you call out. His head snapped to your direction. You cleared your throat awkwardly, and fixed your glasses.

"I'm sorry," you start. This made Yoongi's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I should've just waited for Namjoon to be free and not have you come with me." you spoke up.

"Stop." He replied. "I told you before and I'm telling you now. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."

You look up at him, you felt your entire emotions surge and you are fed up with everything Yoongi does and says. You sigh as you ran your hand through your hair.

"Yoongi, why are you here?” you asked. “Have you figured it out?” “Figured what out, Y/N?” He returned. Your mind flashed back to last week’s events.

You were on your way to Mr. Do, your professor’s office, when you heard a female voice that made you stop in your tracks. You start hiding at a corner while at the Business Administration building..

There you found Eujin and Mr. Do hugging tightly. You didn’t really know how to react. After all, it was just a hug. You would like to put a little faith into the love of Yoongi’s life. She would never do this to him, you thought. But when he attempted to kiss Eujin you were quick to react. With your small frame, you pushed the two away from each other. Your chest heaving with every breath that you took.

"Eujin. Mr. Do." You cleared your throat. This made them jump away from each other. Like a fire was lit and burned the two of them. "I-I will pretend to have not seen whatever this is" You start.

Mr. Do, as you addressed him to be, seemed to relax at your statement.. After all, he will not only lose his job but also his dignity once this gets out of the three of them.

"But" you continued. "This has to stop, please."

The way you begged confused the fuck out of Eujin. Why were you begging? Weren’t you supposed to be happy that you caught her and can finally be with Yoongi?

"Y-Yoongi. He loves you so much, Eujin." You faced Eujin who has no emotion in her face but shock. "Please don't hurt him, please." You continued to beg.

Unbeknownst to you, Hoseok followed you to the building for you have left your apartment keys on the chair you sat on. He watched the whole ordeal as you started to beg. He wanted to zoom into the picture and take you away. You were lowering yourself to beg for Yoongi? He was infuriated with whom? He no longer knows.

"Mr. Do, please know that if this continues, I will report to the Dean immediately." You threaten and with that, you grab Eujin's arm and drag her to the restroom nearby.

"Don't fucking touch me, Y/N." Eujin takes her arm back as soon as you both arrive at the restroom. She made sure no one was around when she turned to face you. You can see clear as day that she is terrified with what you saw. She didn't want to lose Yoongi.

"I-I won't tell." you promised as you fixed your glasses.

"Why not? Wouldn't that benefit you? You can finally have Yoongi." Her voice was shaky as she said this.

"I'm not selfish, Eujin. I want him to be happy." You smile. "So please, while you haven't done anything you'd regret yet, stop now. I can guarantee that I won't tell him." you urge.

She closed her eyes, ran her fingers through her hair and looked in the mirror. She was still shaken but better. Without saying a word, she turned and left.

You had no choice but to watch her figure leave.

“Nevermind. I can go home from here.” You fake a smile. You bowed your head and turned to leave. Yoongi has had enough of you leaving and grabbed your arm. The contact sending shivers down your spine. You were quick to remove his hand and something flashed in his eyes. It was gone before you could even decipher what it was. “I’ll take you home. You accept these offers from Hobi and Joon, why am I any different?” He was going to start dragging you but you spoke up again. “Yoongi. we're friends, right?" you asked, as you removed the paper bag of the charm from his hand.

"Of course, we are." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Then don't act more than that. I asked you to give me a chance and you didn't." you face him tiredly. "I had to endure seeing you with Eujin for months and you didn't hear anything from me. The least you can do to is to not confuse me with all these halfass comments. I like you but I will never be a substitute lover."

With that, you turned to leave. Everything is crashing down on you. With the stress of having to hide what you saw, to your studies, and now with Yoongi confusing the fuck out of you. You just cannot catch a break.

Yoongi was too shocked to react, he wanted to follow you but what would he say to actually appease you? You were right, after all. Spending time with you honestly confused his feelings for Eujin. Hoseok and Namjoon knew this but didn't say anything. They took matters into their own hands and set you two up.

You sat at a bus stop as you rummage through your bag for your phone. Dialing Namjoon's number, he picked up after a few rings.

"Y/N?" He had a teasing tilt to his voice. "How was it?" As you expected, he wasn't in practice as it was quiet around him. You sigh into the receiver.

"W-What do you t-take me for, Namjoon?" You try to make your voice as stable as you can but it cracked in the end. The humiliation and exhaustion with the whole narrative is making your head spin.

"Did something happen, Y/N? What did Yoongi do?!" He grew alarmed as you cried. You heard shuffling as another voice spoke into the phone.

"Y/N? Are you alright? Where are you, I'll pick you up." Hoseok spoke.

"You were in this too?" You gritted your teeth. Anger and disappontment bubbled in your stomach, no matter how you tried to push it back down, trying to be rational.

"I am not a toy for your trio to play with." You finally spoke coldly. "I have feelings too. I'm not a charity case, Hoseok."

Hoseok winced at the lack of nickname and familiarity to your tone. He and Namjoon only wanted to make you happy, hence the setup of the date.

"Please, I'll pick you up." Hoseok sounds panicked already. "Y/N, love, tell me where you are." On his side, Namjoon watched shocked with how he addressed you. Hoseok was shocked too.

"Don't bother showing your face to me," You breathed. "I don't want anything to do with the three of you.” You were about to drop the call as a bus approached the station but you stopped as soon as Hoseok spoke again. “I saw you last week, Y/N.” You didn’t reply. You both knew what he was talking about. “It was none of your business. That was up to Eujin and Yoongi to fix—“ “Come on, Y/N! Do you hear yourself? She was cheating on him and you know it.” His voice was cold, you barely recognized it. “Even if Eujin did cheat on Yoongi, even if they break up,” You pause. “It still wouldn’t be me. Yoongi will never choose me.” “And how sure are you of that?” A voice spoke but it was not Hoseok. You glanced to your right and saw Yoongi who must’ve followed you. He was panting as his chest heaved up and down. He ran. The bus finally stopped in front of you. You gave him a final look. Yoongi’s eyes were begging you to not get in. But you did. ------------------------------------

NEXT | PREVIOUS

[shreddedparchment]

A World of Our Own Pt.06

Broken Hearts

09/20/2020

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 6,012

Warnings: violence, blood, suggestive themes, language

A/N: I’ve been so excited for this chapter for so long. Probably just one or two more chapters after this. I hope you enjoy it! If you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

Ryan’s chuckle is infectious, and you can’t help but laugh along with him as he leans over to stoke the flames of your campfire.

It’s warm. Cozy by the roaring ocean waves that bring with it a cool briny breeze.

“Don’t laugh at me. It was very traumatizing.” Ryan demands, putting the large stick he’s been using to poke the fire aside before leaning back against new palm logs that he and Bucky had chopped for seating.

Even though you’re meant to sit on them, all of you seem to prefer to sit on blankets you’d stitched together from clothing too worn to use anymore.

“I feel bad for the shark. It has probably never seen a naked man before in its life and you’re out here dangling your bits all over its face.” You tease, shaking your head as if you really disapprove of him.

“Wha-?!” Ryan gasps, mouth wide open as he struggles to find a comeback.

“I was mindin’-” he takes a lengthy pause. “-mah own business-”

He places his hand on his chest as he pauses again, the wheels in his brain working quickly to come up with his excuse.

“-when this very large an’ scary fish comes out of the depths an’ charges me. I was the one scrambling ta get back ta shore. I was the one who was given a heart attack. Not the bloody shark!”

“Well, why were you swimming so far out?” You ask him, chuckling again and feeling your cheeks warm with embarrassment at the memory of watching him run out of the water screaming at the top of his lungs, “Shark! Shark! Shark!” completely naked.

You’re not ashamed to say that there was nothing there that wasn’t worth looking at, but it was only an afterthought that you now think of as opposed to noticing in the moment.

You’d turned around instantly and gasped, completely confused as to why he was running towards you naked until you’d heard what he was saying.

“Should I start the fish?” Ryan asks, reaching for the folded leaves beside him where you’d put the cleaned fish when the sun had still been out.

It’s very obvious that Ryan isn’t answering your question.

Both you and Bucky have been watching him closely over the past month, since he’d first shown up completely wet, wondering where it is that he goes when he swims.

It wouldn’t make you so suspicious if he weren’t randomly disappearing when he takes these swims. He waits until you and Bucky are busy, distracted, then wanders off without a word.

Bucky has made you swear not to follow him, afraid of what Ryan might be capable of if he is up to something and is suddenly caught.

Problem is Bucky also refuses to leave you alone anymore, so he doesn’t get to tail Ryan either.

Until Ryan chooses to answer your question, neither of you will ever know where he goes.

“Sure.” You nod, then reach to place the metal sheet that Bucky had made for cooking food without having to deal with embers and ash on the fish.

Ryan separates each fish into one leaf on its own then places them on the thin sheet so that they might bake.

The two of you work in silence for a bit, sitting across the fire from each other, you steal glances at him, and he returns each look. He smiles, his expression kind and so trustworthy that you think in moments like these that you and Bucky might be wrong about him.

“Ryan?” You begin, hesitant.

He smiles to encourage you.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He nods, smile vanishing as his face becomes a little more serious. Confused as to why you think you have to ask.

“Why don’t you talk about your son?” You wonder, now having said the words your mouth keeps going. “You drop this bomb and then never mention him again. I wasn’t sure whether you didn’t want to talk about him, so I never asked. If you’d prefer not to, I understand. There are things I’d rather not talk about to. Everyone is entitled to their secrets. I just—a kid is such a big part of who you are, right? Not the only part of you, obviously but he’s your son. You must think about him all the time.

“Who did you leave him with? He must miss you so much. I’m so sorry that you’re stuck here, with us, instead of home with your boy.” You sigh, and your breath shudders.

You smile at him awkwardly, realizing you’ve rambled on nervously.

“Sorry.” You offer, “I kinda just go off when I’m nervous.”

Ryan’s face is the picture of relaxation, however. He’s not smiling, but he doesn’t look upset that you’ve asked.

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head and you’re certain that he’s going to tell you he doesn’t want to talk about it, but then… “To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really sure that you or Bucky cared to know about Conor.”

“His name is Conor?” You gasp, smiling already like an idiot as you start to imagine a mini version of Ryan. Sandy blonde hair, lovely eyes, light skin.

“Aye, wee tyke is only five but when he talks to you, he sounds much older.” Finally, he smiles, the admiration of a father pouring out of him as he thinks about his little boy.

“Does he look like you or his mother?” You wonder, eager for details now that he’s talking.

“He looks like his mother. Almost my exact opposite. Dark hair and skin. Perhaps a bit lighter than his mother but he’s her spittin’ image. Dark eyes too. Just as beautiful.” Ryan says, a bit more forlorn than before.

Your own smile falters, wondering if maybe he and Conor’s mother are no longer together? Jeez, you really hope that he isn’t still married and flirting with you the way he has been. Not that you blame him being stuck on an island with no other women, but still.

Ryan seems like the type of man to devote himself completely.

“Is she-?” You offer, just to see if he’d like to open up.

He meets your gaze, holding it for a long moment before he tilts his head a little as he makes his choice quickly.

“Grace died. Just after giving birth to Conor. Conor almost went with her, but he pulled through and we have made a go of it, I think.” He gives you another smile. “I think he’s happy. Or was, before all this.”

“I’m so sorry, Ryan. I’m sure Conor loves and appreciates you very much.” His story is tragic, and your heart truly breaks for him.

“Thank you. Gettin’ back to him is the only thing that matters now.” He nods, looking more at ease. “It feels good to talk about them if I’m honest. I havin’ really spoken about it ta anyone other than mah parents. That’s who Conor is with, by the way. You were wonderin’ earlier.”

“You can always talk to me. About anything.” You assure him.

His smile grows wider and any sorrow left in his eyes vanishes as he looks down at the cooking fish before giving his head a minute shake.

“What?” You ask, your own voice shaking with the hint of laughter at the amused expression on his face.

“I was just thinkin’ about how unfortunate it is that you’re taken now. You would have made him a proper step-mom maybe.” His bold words stun you.

At a loss for what to say, you can only seem to focus on the way your neck begins to burn.

Ryan clearly enjoys watching you squirm for the two second that he has to do so before Bucky’s voice breaks the tension.

“Keep that up and you’ll lose your room.” Bucky warns, a playful note in his voice but really you can hear how serious he is.

“I just got it.” Ryan protests, looking towards the hut down the beach.

Bucky worked so hard on the build, elevated and sturdy with each brick placed with care and somewhat expert precision. The gambrel roof, which Bucky chose so that you could use the extra space to hang clothes and food away from where animals might find them, is tall and thatched with the fronds you’d worked so hard to tear and resew to keep the hut safe from the elements.

The hut is split in two down the center with two entrances. When you face the hut, the left side of it is taken by Ryan, a flight of bamboo stairs leading up to the curtained entrance. The right side belongs to you and Bucky.

“Stop flirting with my girl then, and I’ll let you keep it.” Bucky threatens, this time it’s clear he means it.

Ryan holds up his hands in defeat as you turn to devour you freshly bathed Bucky. In jeans and a t-shirt, he looks almost as if he’s ready to begin his day but instead of being productive he drops his dirty clothes into the handmade basket you’d woven with the extra strips of palm fronds then moves towards you. He takes hold of your face, tilting it back so that you might look up at him.

He leans down to look at you, smiling pleasantly.

“Hi.” He tells you, voice deep and penetrating.

“Hi.” You reply. “You smell good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He leans down and kisses you, lips so sweet and fresh you could really just do this all night. He holds it for a few moments before he begins pushing you to scoot forward.

You move as he wants you to, looking back at him as he sits himself behind you, legs spread wide before he pulls you back to sit between his legs which he props up on either side of you. His arms wrap around your stomach and while your happiness quadruples with this unyielding affection he seems to shower on you lately, you can’t help but notice the way Ryan looks away, a small twinge of bitterness in his expression.

It’s just the island. You tell yourself, certain that if you all weren’t stuck here, you wouldn’t be so lucky as to hold the attention of two very beautiful men.

Although you’re certain, you can’t help but wonder if Ryan really does like you. Is it possible?

~~~~~~~~~~

Time doesn’t stop. Not for you stuck on this island. Not for Bucky, torn from the promise of a new life. Not for Ryan who misses his son and is losing more and more time with him. With time is taken all hope that you’ll ever be rescued but the three of you refuse to speak the words aloud.

In silence, there is the illusion of hope and you cannot afford to let it go.

Days roll into weeks and the three of you try to keep your spirits up. It’s easier for you and Bucky, you assume. Finally, being with him has changed very little and so much all at once.

The biggest change is your sleeping arrangements. The hut has been built for a while now. Two months it feels like, going on three. Six months going on seven since you three have been trapped here.

With the hut came privacy, the adobe wall that splits it in two gives you and Bucky the luxury of cuddling as you used to in the fuselage without the worries of being accidentally disturbed.

Because of this, in the morning Bucky’s warm kisses trail along your cheeks, your neck, onto your collarbone raising tingles in all the right places before he finds his way up to your lips.

His arms wrap themselves around you as hey lays himself over you and you raise your leg to hold him close.

“Good morning.” He whispers and your eyes open, devouring the beautiful image of him. Clean and dry. Not a drop of sweat on his perfect skin whereas your own is dewy and you’re in need of a morning swim.

“Good morning.” You whisper, your body burning for him.

It doesn’t help that you can feel him pressed against your thighs, stiff and awake with the morning.

With your lips suddenly dry, you run your tongue along them, wetting them as your breath hitches when he rolls his hips from side to side as he adjusts himself over you.

You know that he doesn’t mean it to make your blood boil, but it does and you snake your hands down to his waist before your fingers worm their way underneath his t-shirt and gently tickle his smooth skin.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, a smile in his voice as he raises an eyebrow but hold you closer.

“I don’t know.” You shrug, licking your lips again.

He huffs a laugh, cool air raising goosebumps along your neck.

“I think you know.” He counters, amused by your attempt to seduce him.

“Then why ask?” You reach down, sliding your hand down underneath the waistband of his underwear, breath catching in your throat at the swell of his bum.

“Y/N,” He pleads, a small hint of a chastising tone to his words. “We can’t.”

“But I want to.” You whimper, tired of begging. It’s been so long since the two of you have been together. For what feels like forever now.

“So, do I, kitten. Trust me.” He wiggles his hips, probably just trying to get comfortable but he inadvertently eggs you on, proves his point by pressing his erection against you—accidentally of course.

“Then…” You try it even though you know he’ll say no. Even though this argument has failed so many times. “…I can just-I’ll give you something and you don’t have to give me anything back.”

“I could never do that.” He argues, his face contorting a bit more. The hints of anger rising.

“Then we can just stop there, Bucky. We’ve got control, don’t we? I wanna suck your co-”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Bucky rolls off of you, sitting at the edge of the low bed with his elbows on his knees as he looks across the hut to the opposite wall, his breathing a little heavy.

You sit up, blinking away the tears of rejection because you know he doesn’t mean it in that way. You know what his worry is because it’s you’re worry too.

“I’m sorry.” You move up behind him, hugging him around his chest and resting your cheek against his solid back.

The rapid rate of his heart tells you how much he wants you even if he can’t see to let himself show it. You take solace in that as you splay your hands on his chest, breathing in the scent of the coconut oil you’d infused into the handmade soap you’d worked on several weeks ago.

“I…you know that we can’t.” He frets, still upset.

“I do.” You shake your head. “I’m just-”

He hears the sob trapped in your throat and he turns so quickly you nearly fall over but he’s there, holding you tight against his chest, hands caressing the back of your head as the other wraps around your shoulders.

“I want you, kitten. Believe me. I do. If I could be sure that we wouldn’t mess up…You were the one that set this boundary.” He reminds you, pulling back to look at you as shame overcomes you.

He’s right of course. You’d told him that you didn’t want to sleep with him until the two of you could be sure that you wouldn’t get pregnant. Not here. Not on this island. There was too much that could go wrong. Too much danger for a baby, not to mention birthing one here with no doctors in case something went wrong.

No, you couldn’t do it and so you’d both agreed.

But…

“I didn’t think we’d still be here.” You huff, burying your face into his chest to hide your embarrassment.

Bucky breathes a little more lightly, almost laughing again at the shift. This conversation has gone from up to down and right back up.

“I know, babe.” He whispers, resting his chin on your head as he strokes your back with both hands. “To be honest, my patience is also wearing thin.”

You pull back quickly, searching to get a look at his eyes to see if he might be lying. He isn’t and it does make you feel better that you aren’t the only one struggling with this abstinence.

“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to wait.” He confesses.

“Me neither.” You sigh. “But you already knew that.”

His face breaks into a smile and you’re calm again, happy to see that beautiful expression on his handsome face. Silver blue eyes all crinkled at the corners.

You reach up to touch his hair, giving it a decent appraisal. “You need another cut.”

“I think we should go shorter this time.” He nods.

“Like a little higher than your chin?” You touch the spot, but Bucky shakes his head.

“No, I mean, short.”

You gasp. “Bucky, I don’t think I trust myself to do that.”

“I trust you.” He counters but you shake your head.

Nope. You’re not going to risk butchering his lovely locks.

“I won’t do it, Barnes.” You frown.

“Stubborn ass.” He glowers.

“Fuck you.” You retort.

“Not yet.” He teases.

“I hate you!” You spit at him, because you can already see the laugh coming at that unfair statement and you shove away from him, moving towards the clothes you’ve got packed in one of the salvaged suitcases to pull out your favorite pair of jean shorts and a plain red t-shirt.

He’s laughing as you dress and doesn’t stop when you’re gone.

Making your way down to the campfire, you search for Ryan, half expecting to find him cooking fish for breakfast but he’s nowhere to be found.

As Bucky joins you, dressed in the same t-shirt with his own favorite pair of jeans on, you place your hands on your hips and look towards the stretch of water where the cockpit had once been visible.

It seems to have sunk to the floor now that the tide has risen and fallen so many times, taking the plane with it.

“What’s the matter?” Bucky wonders, lifting his foot onto the trough he’s been mixing more clay in again, working on something secret that he refuses to let you in on just yet.

“I’ll tell you when it’s relevant. Right now, it’s just a precaution. Trust me, okay? If I need to bring it up, I will.” Then he’d gone back to lining the outside of the hut with metal sheets from the plane before sealing them over with clay.

He laces up his boot but watches you as he works.

“He’s gone again.” You shake your head.

“He hasn’t tried anything.” Bucky ponders. “If he was going to hurt us, he would have done it by now.”

“I know, it’s just…” You bite your lip.

“He is hiding something.” Bucky agrees, this conversation having played out so many times. “But I think he also wants some distance from us. We’re probably annoying to be around.”

“We’re not that bad anymore.” You argue.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky whispers, his lips suddenly at your ear.

He kisses it, slipping your lobe into his mouth as your eyes shut to the pleasure the gesture raises.

“You’re not making this any easier.” You sigh but turn to look at him and without hesitation pull him down to meet your lips with his own.

The kiss is a frenzy, heated and eager as your hands grope and cling as Bucky’s also press and pull against the flesh of your hips and ass leaving burning bruises behind.

Out here where you might get caught is the safest place to be this affectionate. Where you can’t take this any further than this passionate kiss.

“Do ya really have ta do that so early in the mornin’?” Ryan’s voice cuts in, interrupting just as you both intend.

Bucky pulls away first, letting the smack of your kiss echo before giving you one devilish grin then marching back to the trough.

“Sorry.” You turn to Ryan, hoping your expression is rightly chastised. “Fish?”

Ryan holds it up to indicate his catch then moves towards you to hand it over for cleaning.

You settle down beside him on your usual stump, pulling out your makeshift knives and gut the fish with the precision of someone who’s done this everyday for half a year. Ryan gets to building a new fire, gathering as much of the ash for you as he can for when you decide to make more soap.

While you work, you watch him, stealing glances at the subtle downturn to the corners of his lips.

The longer he works the more he seems to wallow.

Once the fish is settled over the fire, you turn in your spot to focus your attention on him.

“What?”

Slightly startled, he turns to you with wide eyes, all traces of the depression he’s been in gone.

“What?” He sounds confused.

“What’s the matter with you?” You clarify.

“Oh.” He sighs and shakes his head.

You know you can guess. “Conor?”

“Aye, Conor.” The sadness returns to his face and your heart gives a painful lurch for him.

He must miss his son so much.

“He’s probably startin’ school this month.” He laments, stoking the fire.

“It’s his first year?”

“Aye, I hope he isn’t scared.” Ryan hopes.

“I’m sure he’s just as brave as his dad.” You offer in comfort, giving Ryan as kind a smile as you can muster.

“We’ll get off this island, Ryan. Someone will come. Even if it’s by accident. Even if it’s years from now. You’ll be with Conor again.” You hope, because even though you want it to be a promise, you don’t know.

Ryan’s face contorts, agony ripping through him for one quick second before he meets your gaze and reaches out to take hold of your hand.

“I think…” Bucky begins from the trough, Ryan’s hand freezing mere inches from your own.

He takes it back and clears his throat, the look of pain vanishing from his handsome face before he looks to Bucky just as you do.

Bucky’s gaze is focused on the horizon, the ocean waves unnaturally gentle. It’s a beautiful day.

“What is it babe?” You call, trying to pull Bucky out of his thoughts.

He turns his furrowed brow back to the two of you, “I think we might have to move to the cave. Soon.”

“The cave?” You rise, glancing at the fish to make sure they’re not burning. “The one Ryan was in when he landed?”

Ryan sits back, a perplexed gaze fixed on Bucky.

“Yeah. Do you think you can show me where it is?”

“Why would ya need to go there?” Ryan reaches out to stoke the fire once again, pulling his gaze away from you both.

“Bucky?” You worry, moving towards him as he straightens up and wipes his hands clean to take your hand as you reach him.

“We won’t need to go there yet.” He assures you, wrapping his metal arm around your waist to pull you into his side. “It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution against what?”

“It’s hurricane season. The hut is…I’m not exactly an architect. I’ve done what I can with what we have but that hut is not meant to withstand a hurricane. When it comes down to it, we might be able to take shelter in the fuselage if we have to but with the three of us, the cave might be a better option. How did you hold up in the caves during that first storm?” Bucky gestures to Ryan.

Ryan spares you both a glance before nodding. “There was minor flooding at the back jus’ before the exit by the jungle but otherwise it was dry and safe. It’s not a bad plan.”

“Then you’ll show me where it is?” Bucky insists.

“It’s not hard ta find, but sure. Tomorrow morning?” Ryan turns to him.

Bucky nods leaning down to press a kiss to your head.

The memory of that initial hurricane just after you’d crash landed here fills you with worry. What if you do have to go through another one and this one is worse? How likely is it that you’d die from a storm before you get rescued?

“Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll keep you safe.” Bucky whispers, reaching up to stroke your cheek with the back of his hand where there is no clay.

“I wish you didn’t have to shoulder so much.”

“Taking care of you is never too much.” Bucky smiles. “I kinda look forward to it actually.”

“Why?” You wonder, absolutely confused.

“Because I do. Don’t question it. Just accept it. You’re never getting rid of me.” He teases.

“Even when we’re rescued?” You turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Especially when we’re rescued.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you once, then starts to lean down towards you for a kiss.

“I’m going for a swim.” Ryan announces, breaking the little bubble you and Bucky are in.

Without ceremony, Ryan moves straight for water headed towards the crash site without even feigning a different direction.

This draws both yours and Bucky’s attention as both of you are well aware that Ryan has still been swimming out to the cabin, but he’s taken such great care to go at it in roundabout ways. While strange, you guess that he must be more upset about Conor than even you could tell.

Your mind replays the agonized look he’d given you before when you’d promised him that rescue would be coming. Maybe he could tell that it was only your hope?

“He misses Conor. He should be starting school soon.” You explain.

“Mm.” Bucky nods, accepting your explanation.

“If there were any photos, he would have found them already, wouldn’t he?” You wonder, curious to no end about your new friend.

Sure, you have suspicions, but after so much time spent with him, you’ve both accepted him as a part of your life here. Ryan has your trust. And though you know it was given reluctantly, Bucky’s too.

“Maybe he just can’t bear to give up. I know I wouldn’t.” Bucky looks down at you, giving you a squeeze.

“If you had a son?” You ask.

“I’m not opposed to the idea.” Bucky stuns you, pulling you to look at him with his words to see how serious he might be about it. “With you. When the time is right.”

Your heart is pounding. Your mind is reeling. Bucky wants to have kids with you?

“You promise?” You gasp, so shocked your voice is mostly air.

“I love you.”

You smile, loving the words that spill from his lips.

“You do?”

Bucky smiles then chuckles, reaching up to squeeze the back of your neck, and you know that he’s telling you the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You smell good.” Bucky sighs, holding the blanket open for you as you take off your shoes and slip into the bed and nestle into Bucky’s arms. “Good bath?”

You can hear the exhaustion in his voice. He’s been working so hard to fortify the hut for smaller storms that might hit.

“Yes.” You hug him, cuddling in against his side as he drapes the blanket over you.

“You’re wearing your shorts?” He checks, and he’s right.

You’ve chosen to sleep in your second set of shorts, dark gray cloth instead of jeans and your tattered blue floral dress.

Because you don’t answer, Bucky adjusts to look down at you, forcing himself awake.

“Kitten?”

“I’m just…I want to be ready if we need to go short notice.” You confess, shutting your eyes and refusing to look at him. You don’t want him to see the fear.

“Ready for what?”

“Anything. Hurricanes.” You admit and wish you could throw away this fear.

You’re almost expecting Bucky to chastise you for your worrying but instead he settles into the plane cushion bed again and cuddles you closer.

“That’s smart.” He approves. “But we won’t have anywhere to run until tomorrow morning. Ryan has to show us the cave first.”

“Can I come?” You’re already drifting off, voice weak and slurring.

Bucky’s is the same, both of you exhausted from the day’s work.

“You kidding? I’m not letting you outta my sight.” He mumbles, his breathing getting heavier.

You almost smile but sleep takes you and your mind is overcome with dreams of thunderous clouds.

~~~~~~~~~~

For a moment Bucky isn’t sure what he’s hearing. He can feel you stirring to the sound in his arms and he tries to hold you tighter.

You were so scared before, the look of terror in your eyes at the prospect of being caught in a storm worse than the one you weathered before.

He wants to make sure you feel safe and secure with him. He’ll protect you from weather and predator, whether that’s animal or stupid fucking Ryan.

You tug away from him hard though and the sound…a humming…no, a loud thumping. It’s hard to place as he tries to both understand the sound and also figure out why you’re no longer lying beside him.

“Y/N?” He searches, sleepily pushing himself onto one elbow as he hears you bolt for the door.

Suddenly he’s wide awake and he can hear you rounding the hut to the other set of stairs on the other side.

He pulls his boots on quickly, sliding his feet in and lacing them with nimble fingers loosely.

“He’s gone!” You cry out, the pure panic in your voice as the sound overhead suddenly makes sense to Bucky.

A helicopter! It thuds loudly, motor whirring and buzzing and blowing sand everywhere while whipping trees back and forth.

Bucky springs form the hut and sees you already racing towards the trees where you can see the chopper headed.

He passes you quickly, easily. But he doesn’t stop because he knows that you would never forgive him.

Bucky runs faster than he’s ever run in his life, barreling through dense jungle but never once missing a step.

The branches of certain trees scrape at his skin and slap his face, but he doesn’t relent in his pursuit.

It takes minutes for him to reach a small field of tall grass. It’s sways violently in the chopper’s wind and at the center of this field is Ryan.

Bucky stops, taking in the sight as a blinding spotlight shines on Ryan first then quickly swings towards him.

Ryan follows the beam and when he sees Bucky take a step towards him, he reaches down to his hip where a holster suddenly sits. He pulls a gun, a 9mm Beretta from what Bucky can tell, and stops his advance.

“Stop!” Ryan orders, his voice tight and commanding.

As the chopper descends a little more to hover at fifty feet, a steel wire ladder falls down towards Ryan as Bucky begins to notice the metal case in his other arm.

“What’s in there?” Bucky asks, staying as still as he can until he might have a chance to pounce.

“The other black box.” Ryan says simply, his voice softer but defiant. “Parts of it.”

Bucky’s glare is piercing and if Ryan didn’t have that gun, he would probably have already fled.

“I had to…” Ryan begins, still combative in tone but Bucky realizes that the anger in it is not directed at him. “They have me by the balls, mate. When Grace died, Conor would have followed, but they found me, and they offered to save his life. That is a debt I can never repay.”

Bucky’s fists tighten, anger bubbling up to choke him so that he cannot speak. These schemes, it has to be Hydra. No one else would want him dead.

“Who’s they?” He forces himself to ask, just to make sure.

It could be the U.S. Government too if he’s being completely honest. They could very well want him out of the way.

“I don’t know. People.” Ryan throws out, and Bucky believes that he doesn’t know. “All I know is they wanted you out of the way. If I had known that she…I didn’t know that she would be there. I didn’t know that they would die.”

Ryan’s voice grows thick and he shakes his head, ridding himself of whatever thoughts his guilt have conjured up.

“If I don’t finish the job, they’ll kill mah boy.” He holds the gun steadier, catching his breath before he makes his face as stoic as possible. “This is all I can give her. I can’t save her, but I can at least do this much. I can give her you. They’ll think you’re dead. I’ll make sure.”

Bucky sees it now. The real emotions behind his eyes. Ryan does love you. He’s certain of it now. He also understands what he’s saying and leans forward, angling himself so that when Ryan shoots, the bullet will hit his shoulder. Too high to be his chest and endanger his lungs or heart.

“Tell her I’m sorry.” Ryan pleads, and squeezes the trigger.

Bucky’s mind races with possibilities. Ryan might miss. He could hit him where he will not recover and then you’d be left here alone on this island. You’d hate him for not fighting and hate Ryan for killing him. He could bleed out and Bucky can’t imagine you here without him.

The bullet pierces him just where he’d hoped and falls to the ground with a heavy thud and goes as still as he can possibly can.

He holds his breath, pushing through the pain that burns from his right shoulder, and hoping that the chopper will leave quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gasping with a stitch in your side and your legs made of jelly, you break through the trees onto a field you’ve passed a few times here on the island but avoided in case of snakes.

The sight before freezes you. Ryan shoots. Bucky falls.

Ryan turns to a wire ladder and begins to climb, and you race to Bucky, sobs already shaking your body.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp. “Please. Please, don’t be dead.”

As you reach him, you turn him over, and see that his eyes are wide open, reading your heartbroken expression as he remains unmoving while you press your hands against his wound.

You continue to sob, turning your eyes to the chopper overhead as it pulls away and takes with it all hope of your rescue.

As it fades into the distance, Bucky pulls himself up a bit, sitting up and pressing his much larger hand against the bullet hole on the front while you fuss with the exit wound in the back.

“W-We need to s-stitch you up.” You cry, voice low and controlled despite the sobs still ripping through your throat.

Without hesitation you reach down and tear away at your dress reducing its length even further, now just barely reaching your hips. You wrap it around the wound as best you can, slapping Bucky’s hand away to shove more fabric over it and then place his hand back over the spot.

“I’m alright, kitten.” Bucky tells you, voice strong and certain.

“Like fuck-all you are.” You sob, fisting the front of his shirt as you refuse to look back to where you can still hear the chopper’s sounds, fading. “H-He shot you.”

Bucky strokes the side of your face with his metal hand, directing your gaze up so that you can look at him.

As you meet his steel and ice eyes, full of warmth and reassurance, you fall to pieces as you realize that Ryan has betrayed you. All your suspicions, as unlikely as you’d thought them, were true.

Bucky metal arm pulls you closer, his lips pressed to your crown as you sob against his chest, knowing now that you will never leave this place. You and Bucky will live and die on this island and no one will ever know you were here.