#moose going through a phase

[cod-dump]

*in Moose’s office*

Graves, walking in: Moose! Do you know what I’ve done for the past three days?

Moose without looking up from his computer: Teleport bread?

Shadows in the room: *snort*

Graves: … what did you just make a reference to?

Moose: Don’t worry about it, Soldier

Shadows: *wheeze*

Graves: … You’re making fun of me and I don’t like it

[rioblitzle]

imo if gorillaz want to be good again (on the character/presentation front. music unrelated. also this is subjective) they need to stop trying to make up these grand "lore" continuities because a cool weird as shit music video that can exist on its own as art with no expectations of a full explanation is always gonna be more satisfying than a cool weird as shit music video that is very clearly trying to set up some narrative throughline that dies halfway through the album cycle without any conclusion in sight. plastic beach was cool but it's on thin ice. you are simply not the media format for time travel or cult feud plots please go back to when things were more nonsensical and somehow more cohesive for it

[badolmen]

I get where the frustration with ‘horror geared toward children’ comes from but capitalism preying on the interests of kids to sell backpacks and hoodies isn’t new. Kids liking horror isn’t new. Horror produced for children isn’t new.

[kfedup]

I’m eleven days into letting go of using wheat and sugar to self soothe. I seem to be through the wretched phase where every cell in the body hurts as if it’s been head-butted by a charging Moose.

I definitely shifted my addictive behaviors onto baked goods and candy after I stopped drinking alcohol and have noticed recently that I was starting to have the same kinds of blood sugar crashes that I had when I drank. Time to let it go.

I wonder if this, too, will be a slippery slope where I think oh, I can have a taste, but then it turns into two tastes, then three, then I eat the whole little cake. I’m sick of carrying around this tummy that makes it impossible to find pants that actually fit.

The belly is also the result of two huge weight gains in pregnancy, the second of which was an emergency cesarean that destroyed the muscle wall. Regular Pilates is helping to rebuild the inner muscle strength 20 years later, but I think that’s only going to take me so far. I’m noticing the bloated feeling is going away and that after I eat, I feel full, where two weeks ago, I would eat and then eat again - clearly trying to fill an emptiness that has nothing to do with fueling my body.

Anyway, growing up is hard and wonderful and lonely as fuck, but what the hell else am I gonna do with this existence?

[caxycreations]

Food Distribution on Relan

Since @thetruearchmagos seemed interested, thought I would do this haha.

Info and Worldbuilding under the cut

I'm just gonna go over Ferusian food distribution, as it's the leading nation for food practices, and most other nations emulate (to varying degrees of success) these practices.

I may also go slightly off topic, though still relevant, so bear with me.

Ferusian Food Distribution

Ferus is the leading nation for food distribution practices. There are very, very strict laws in place that severely punish poor practice.

Ultimately, this is how food is managed in Ferus:

Food is produced by farms, hunters, and reserves.

Farms specifically deal in crops. Fruits, vegetables, berries, and other plant-based food sources. While some are specialized (the third largest farm in Ferus is 22,000 acres and is dedicated entirely to the growth of corn), others grow a variety of crops (the largest farm in Ferus is approximately 45,000 acres and the land is divided between apple and pear orchards, as well as potato, carrot, and onion fields) for the nation. These farms supply Distribution Firms with the crops, which are then delivered via specially designed trucks to local markets, manufacturing plants, and other such places to be sold or refined.

Some of these trucks are designed for long-distance travel and, through the Speedway that stretches across Ferus, deliver their cargo across the nation to other Distribution Firms, which then deliver the goods to the nearby businesses and markets.

Then there are hunters. In Ferus, "Hunter" is still very much a viable career path. Hunters are employed by the Ferusian Wildlife Management Force (FWMF), and are tasked with preventing overpopulation of invasive species. The FWMF specializes in a practice known as "controlled invasion", wherein they will introduce a small number of a species into an environment where their unique evolutions make them hyper-suited to thrive. This creates an invasive species "problem", and when numbers reach problematic levels, the FWMF deploys waves of Hunters to thin the herd. This manufactured cycle allows Ferus' wildlife to thrive freely in environments suited to them, without allowing any one species to completely dominate all others in an ecosystem.

It also allows the Hunters to hunt year-round, though with a monthly limit on each species.

Species hunted under the authority of the FWMF include, but are not limited to: deer, elk, boar, greatwolves, rabbits, moose, pheasant, duck, and bear.

The last branch of Ferusian food distribution is known as the Reserves.

Reserves are animal farms. Great swathes of land with a safe, peaceful environment where herd animals are raised. Reserves follow strict environmental policies, limiting the size of herds as well as the rate of growth of herds, ensuring the well-being of both local environment and global environment due to how large these Reserves would grow otherwise.

When a herd exceeds the maximum size, Reserve owners enact Culling, a process where they will humanely put down 2/3 of the population of the Reserve. The process for this differs from species to species and from Reserve to Reserve, but strict laws are in place that require methods to be painless and swift, to prevent cruelty.

The 2/3 of the herd that is put down is then delivered to Processing Plants where they are butchered, separated into the various meats and cuts that are available from the species, and prepared for sale and redistribution.

Side note: Due to Tangkorak influence on Ferusian law in the early days, there is a law that forbids waste of a slaughtered animal, and as such every aspect of the animal is used. Bones are used for broth manufacturing, excess fat is turned into cooking oils, and so on. Ferusian Law dictates no part of a slaughtered animal is to go to waste.

This is the first step in Ferusian food distribution.

Once food has been delivered to local businesses and Processing Plants, it goes through the next phase.

Those foods delivered as-is to businesses are simply sold and used by the populace (though locally-grown and locally-raised goods are always free, you only pay for food that was shipped from other parts of the country or other nations).

The food delivered to Processing Plants however is then processed into various forms. Crops are separated into slices, sauces, mashes, jams, jellies, juices, seeds, etc, and packaged as such. Meats are sliced, mashed, blended, shredded, etc, and packaged as such.

These processed forms of food are then distributed locally and across the nation.

It's worth noting that 60% of raw-form food (un-processed meat and crops) are distributed locally, with 60% of processed food also being distributed locally.

Due to the vast farms and reserves that produce food as well as the carefully maintained manufactured ecosystems by the FWMF, food is plentiful in Ferus and any excess is sold to other nations to avoid a hunger crisis and as efforts of good faith and peace between countries.

Note: If there is a specific question any part of this raises, by all means ask. I more than likely have an answer for it.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Do you think Stan will have a junk food phase in the beginning of his sobreity?

Cause I can't see him as a smoker, unless he stayed an edgy goth teenager

I can't see Kyle as a smoker either. Nor actually being fond of alcohol

I’m with you on that I can’t see either of them as a smoker really, but I must admit I can see Kyle having the occasional cigarette moreso than Stan (I have no explanation for this other than Jwink’s Winter Butterfly lmfao). None of my versions of the characters have done much smoking, other than the odd Kenny, Kyle, and Craig. Now if Stan’s foray with the goth kids continued, definitely, though I also enjoy when he has asthma so idk. Stan’s definitely not fond of weed tho, I will stand my ground on that Randy turned him off of it for life lmao.

Kyle I see as more of a wine guy on the occasion that he does want a drink (this is probably also Jwink’s fault tbh what can I say I enjoy a lot of their Kyles), but not in excess and pretty rarely. Ofc I’m of the headcanon that later timeline OJV Kyle has his trivia night hangouts at the local bistro with Craig, but that’s the only time either of them really drink, especially with their husbands in the program.

Onto the bulk of the ask! I ABSOLUTELY think Stan had a junk food phase in early sobriety! Excessive alcohol consumption kills your appetite and depletes your body of pretty much every vitamin in the book, and I said before that if Stan looks a little more filled out it probably means his drinking is under control. Once he’s over the withdrawal hump and can keep food down again, he’s RAVENOUS especially for anything that provides quick energy. Snacky type foods in particular, mainly in the evenings when he’d previously be drinking, as a replacement habit. And while I see him as more of a salty guy than a sweets guy (ironic considering what a sweetheart he is), he went crazy on the chocolate early on. He’s definitely a chocolate guy I stand by that. Ice cream was a staple in apartment 3 for a while. I feel like he was constantly eating for a hot minute there, recovering from his final bender and once his cravings calmed down, he got a lot more normal about food, which was a relief to both himself and Ky. He has a big appetite naturally when he’s healthy, but he also has kind of a sensitive stomach (bro likes spicy things but his digestive system doesn’t rip same) so he starts prioritizing what makes him feel good again. That’s also when he starts hitting the gym again, knowing that he feels better mentally when he’s moving his body, going on hikes, working out, and out of that depressive slump he can finally face his insecurities and apply at the vet clinic. And of course that’s when Moose comes into their lives. (Moose’s lore can be found under the Mooseposting tag I fucking love that cat) I really enjoy the idea of Stan and Kyle going to the gym together too, AND the idea of Stan working out with some of his AA buddies (can u tell I just really like talking about sober Stan). He’s definitely tried to get his sponsor to come with him too lmao but Mark’s old as hell and IS a smoker “c’mon dude, you can walk the track or something!” “I’m too old for that bullshit, Superman, get one of the younger kids to work out with ya” fuck I love Stan’s AA geezers I may do another Bedtime Story with them (his sponsor is deadass based on a real person I met a few years back). Also I love the headcanon that the buddies at undrunk club call him Superman.

But yes, eatin good, staying active, making his way through bags of hot cheetos (the lime ones for sure) even though he knows they’re gonna make him nauseous, that’s a much better habit for Stanathan than drinking is!!!

[gossipsnake]

TIMING:  June 3, 2023 LOCATION:  The Pines PARTIES: Anita @gossipsnake & Alan @alan-duarte SUMMARY: Anita makes her way home from a night out and comes across a sweet Vegetable Lamb, over which she becomes quite protective when Alan tries to make a meal out of it. CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

As her nights often ended, Anita found herself walking home to her secluded mansion on the edge of The Pines and Seven Peaks late in the evening - or was it very early in the morning? - after being out at one of her favorite local bars until closing. Well, this wasn’t how her nights often ended, given that she was walking home alone and not with someone she had picked up at the bar. She didn’t mind the solitude every now and then, though. Especially at this time of year when the spring was thawing nature out of its prolonged winter freeze. 

Unsurprisingly given her chosen profession and academic pursuits, being surrounded by nature put Anita at ease. While the mountainous and often cold landscape of New England varied immensely from the deserts she was raised in, the area was slowly beginning to feel like home. Especially given the amount of supernatural people, places, and things that were always about. That’s why when she heard the smallest bleat of what sounded like a lamb, she decided to investigate with reasonable caution. 

As she rounded a grouping of trees, Anita saw something she had only read about before - a vegetable lamb. In her rather intoxicated state, however, she wasn’t sure if she fully believed her eyes. So she got closer, so entranced that she hardly even noticed the sound of footsteps nearby. 

Alan usually wandered further into the woods on those nights. It was safer for him. It was safer for everyone. The taste of copper was one he’d gotten used to over the years,and he had stopped blaming himself for the damage he caused. Most of the time, he supposed it must have been animals. Deers, moose, maybe a boar, a hare… And if people were going to go camp in the woods on a full moon… Well, some people were better at surviving than others and that was all there was to think about here. If only he had been able to think at all tonight. 

The damn full moon. A bloodthirst that simply couldn’t be quenched, and one that he struggled, every month to contain anyway. 

The frail bleating of a lamb had lured the wolf out of the woods, to the edge of the forest. Near the ground, the hunter advanced, huddled on his velvet paws, his gray coat blending in with the dim light of daybreak.

But while a thin and tall silhouette approached its prey with an unsteady step, the wolf, rather than changing its target, got it into his head that the latter wanted to steal his meal. His chops curled, Alan groaned in annoyance, huffing through his nostrils as he walked around the lamb and the one in his path, making the fallen leaves rustle and crackle with each step he took.

Almost instinctively as Anita saw the impeccably large wolf rush across the space in front of her she looked up into the sky. Of course it was a full moon. Without giving it much thought, she rolled her eyes in light annoyance. Sure, part of her pitied werewolves for the fact that they were so controlled by the lunar phase. But mostly she thought it was another bit of proof of Lamia superiority. 

It appeared from the wolf’s movements that he didn’t want Anita getting to the lamb but it took her a few moments to figure out the likely reason why. “You’re gonna eat that poor little guy, aren’t you? I mean… come on dude. Look at it!” She gestured enthusiastically at the tiny creature behind him. “Like, go find a stupid human to eat or something. Doesn’t that sound more appetizing?” 

The lamb bleat again. Alan's claws curled against the damp floor, leaves and dirt crumpling under the wolf's massive paws. A low growl, guttural, coming from deep within replied to the poor vegetable lamb. That woman really was going to stop a wolf from eating the proverbial lamb? Even as a human, he loved a damn lamb chop, Easter’s roasted lamb leg, which his mother prepared better than anyone else. 

If she wasn’t going to move, he was going to make her. With a bark, a short yelp, Alan took another step forward. It’s just a fucking lamb, move. He wouldn’t have dreamed of slaughtering such an innocent little thing as a human, but as a wolf, Alan didn’t feel so disgusted about ripping a man’s head off or feasting off of his organs. Funny how that worked. Hairs raised on his back, the werewolf growled again, baring his teeth in final warning. Yeah, if she wasn’t gonna move, he was going to go ahead and eat them both. 

Clearly logic and reason were not going to get her anywhere with the dense wolf. While she never minded resorting to violence Anita did prefer to use her intellect over brute strength. Not that she lacked in either category, though. “Okay, okay, big guy… give me a second here.” Gently, Anita tossed her purse off to the side of her and then began to take off her faux leather jacket. “I mean, we’re in a forest. You have plenty of other snacks about.” 

After discarding the jacket in the general direction of her purse, Anita shook her shoulders out in an over-the-top dramatic fashion. “Last chance to walk away,” though she didn’t give much of a chance admittedly and immediately began to shift into her lamia form. The rough green, brown, and yellow scales of the mojave danced along her body and within seconds she was towering over the wolf. “Back off, furball,” she hissed. 

Eyes trained on the woman, Alan’s head tilted to the side as she tossed her bag, and then her jacket to the side. That was dramatic. He’d have liked her a lot in different circumstances. Of course, he didn’t really understand why she was doing all this. Getting naked in the forest was the sort of activity you expected from nudists and shifters. Nudists didn’t particularly strike him as the type to chill in front of an angry werewolf. 

A tawny owl’s shriek distracted him for just a split second, long enough for him to miss part of her transformation into a gigantic beast. Alan only had himself to blame as he realized a bit too late that a normal fucking woman would have ran away in the sight of him even one who had had, like her, one too many drinks at the bar. Fuck. Even standing on his hind legs, the wolf only reached the snake’s height now. In her back, the lamb’s bleating had resumed, and angry eyes remained set on their objective. 

And yet, in the far distance, by the horizon, fate was pushing forward in favor of the innocent bleating plant. It would be minutes only before the moon released the hold it had on the realtor, one long minute, during which the lamb’s fate would remain uncertain, during which his hunger would listen to no other logic than the law of nature. 

Being in her true lamia form always made Anita feel more powerful and centered. The restrictions on her human senses stripped away and the world opened up before her - she could see the hot and cold patches of the world and with a quick flip of her tongue she was inundated with a melody of scents. It was soiled only by the wet dog smell before her. 

Anita avoided fighting with her fellow shifters when she could - and she had no intention to cause any real harm to the wolf - but she didn’t mind some friendly combat when it presented itself. She was not bound by any natural cycle in her transformations and admittedly was never quite sure how deep into the morning wolves maintained their power. None of that mattered to her, however. 

Pushing forward slightly and closing the distance between them,  her focus remained locked on the lycan. The lamb was behind her and unless her foe could get past her scales and fangs, it would surely remain unharmed that evening. Maybe Anita would have paid closer attention to her surroundings if not for the drinks that were still coursing through her cold bloodstream. She seemingly forgot that in a town like Wicked’s Rest, danger always lurked in every inch of the forest. 

Baring his teeth again as she darted toward him, Alan stepped back from the nightmarish creature, and as wolves did, threw his head back and howled to the moon. Some wolves far in the distance, some undoubtedly closer to them joined his plea. Guided by seemingly feral instincts, the werewolf growled low, barking, yet keeping his distance. He had seen those fangs, and he could only imagine what they’d do to him, but he had one objective and he was willing to take a shot at it.

The more the sun approached the horizon, the more he’d be able to regain a sense of consciousness but for now the wolf’s padded paws carried him quietly around the mismatched pair, leaving a trail of pheromones that could have betrayed his current mood. He was upset. He should have sensed that she wasn’t human. Was the idea of a meal so important to his stomach that it completely disconnected his brain? He was upset, frustrated, but not willing to let go of what he wanted without putting up a fight. Eyes shifting between her and the lamb, the wolf first darted to her left, before going back on all fours to try a new approach on her right, sprinting through the fallen leaves. 

The cry of the wolves echoed loudly in Anita’s head. Typically a pack creature, she wondered if those who cried out in response to him would come join in his potential skirmish. It was sort of funny, seeing the wolf preparing to attack. Was he aware of how quickly Anita could end this if she wanted to? Did he have any idea how potent the venom within her was? Probably not. Nor would he find out, not anytime soon anyway. In the hierarchy of life, the wolf did sit above the vegetable lamb. Both of which were above humans, and all of which were below lamia. That meant that if she had to pick between letting the lamb die and killing the wolf, the sacrifice was clear. 

As she worked to anticipate how the attack would come Anita let her tail do its thing and emit a gentle rattle, gradually getting louder. It served as one final warning. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t head the warning. Initially, following his own movement, the snake moved to her left prepared to address the anticipated attack. She was less prepared for an attack from the right, but not unprepared. Her tail was ready to thwart off the attack, whipping around and making contact with the side of her opponent. 

The wolf might have been mighty in the forest, the gigantic snake, though it didn’t seem to fit right in the septentrional woods, must have been royalty in another ecosystem. Alan’s flank was brutally hit by her tail. He knew already that he would bruise there, bruises that would certainly cause wincing and grimacing in the days to come. Still, he didn’t like to stoop down, accept defeat or back down. When he had something in mind, Alan didn’t stop until he had it. 

The wolf might have yelped in pain seconds before, it was back on its front legs now, examining the snake’s movements. She moved faster than he had anticipated, and those fangs looked like they could tear right through him as if he were made of butter but he was confident he could move faster yet. He had legs. Clearly that must have given him an advantage, right? 

The rattling of her tail could become an advantage if he paid more attention to it. He just had to dart to the right again, remain quick on his feet, keep on moving and then leap claws out, toward the bleating small thing, to drag it into the depths of the woods with him. A growl carried through his first steps toward the scaly creature, dying out as he picked up speed and executed his plan. 

There was some twisted joy that rushed through Anita when she heard the wolf cry out, even if the pain she inflicted didn’t seem to slow him down at all. It had been a little while since she had been in an all-out brawl like this before and her adrenaline was spiking. That plus the alcohol coursing through her prevented the cold breeze of the nighttime from bothering her. 

Working as strategically as she could muster, Anita tried to fend off the hairy beast. While her size compared to the wolf was certainly an asset it also made her a bigger target. Normally she would make herself a smaller target by looping her tail around herself and above her head, but it wasn’t just her own wellbeing she was selflessly defending - she had to keep the lamb safe. It was that thought that made her realize that something in the air had shifted, a new smell wafting her way and a small but present heat signature from her peripheral. Distracted, her guard was down for just long enough to allow the wolf to land a swift attack. Her tail rattled louder and faster, as she felt her focus being torn between the known threat in front of her and the concern over what was approaching their battle ground. She wasn’t willing, however, to take her eyes off of the wolf. She wasn’t willing to lose a fight to a wolf. Even if that meant losing the lamb. 

Todd was an idiot. Chad had just proven it. 

This was the perfect addition to the hazing process but no. Todd insisted that it was too dangerous to send freshmen in the woods on a full moon. And yet, Chad had just spent one complete night in here, and was now walking out without even a scratch. Aside from a couple of owls, deers, one moose and the distant howl of wolves, far, far inside The Pines, he hadn’t really seen much action tonight. The sun was rising now, and he was about to walk back to the frat house triumphant, with evidence of his prowess. Chad : 1 Spineless Todd : 0 

“Fucking moron,” with a scoff, the business student reached in his pocket for cigarettes. 

The wolves howled again. Were they getting closer? That was close, right? Heh, if he took a picture of one, he’d surely show this moron just how much of a cheeto-dick asshole he was. 

Quietly, he approached the sound, getting his phone out of his pocket, his cigarette hanging precariously from his lips. This would be a triumph. 

Alan was quick on his feet, but the snake was neither backing down nor showing any signs of tiredness. God fucking damnit. He had to try a different approach. The cold blooded animal really wasn’t his first choice when it came to getting a nice snack and he had his eyes set on that lamb. Sure it was a bit small but the snake was way too big and again, he didn't like the taste of these. 

He tried again, from the right, the left, running low, baring his teeth, but nothing seemed to get past her radar, until… 

Alan might have had less control of himself on full moons, he had enough to keep himself alive. When the largest predator paused to look at the bushes, you didn't keep on attacking. 

Standing on his hind legs, the werewolf's neck craned, hoping to catch a glimpse of their company. Perhaps it was another wolf, who smelled of Takis, blue Gatorade, cigarette smoke and dirt cheap aftershave. Alright, no wolf would have accepted carrying that scent around. 

No… that scent could only come from a goddamn human. 

As the human approached, because it practically had to be a human with that heat signature and stench, Anita’s presumption was that it was a hunter. Had their fight gotten so loud that it really drew that much attention or had they just been so unlucky that a hunter was passing through at the exact wrong time? There was too much to focus on - the wolf, the lamb, the man. Despite her desire to both beat the wolf and keep the lamb out of harm's way, Anita knew that self preservation needed to be her priority. It didn’t much matter what else happened that night, the snake just needed to make it back home in one piece. 

Maybe the human could be a common enemy and the two of them could stop fighting each other for a moment and take care of this interloper first. Her eyes scanned the wolf’s face trying to determine if he was having a similar thought. Anita shot her tail into the general direction of the presumed hunter. They were too far away for it to hit but her intention was simply to signal to the wolf that they weren’t alone. 

“On my signal?” Anita asked quietly, hoping the wolf understood. Without letting him out of her line of sight she began to slowly slither backwards closer towards the approaching person. The plan was to set herself up to make a quick attack against the human before returning to the wolf in the event that he wasn’t interested in taking care of the threat together. Though if it was a hunter there was a chance that Anita’s venom would do nothing more than irritate the man. She’d much rather attack together. 

Ears pulled back, the wolf’s eyes fixated on the intruder. He had seen his fair share of hunters in the past, none of them foolish enough to let the entire forest know they were there through scent alone. One of the defining traits of a good hunter, Alan found, was their ability to make themselves invisible through any mean available. They were remarkably quiet, they often left not a single track behind them, they tried to remain unseen and they did their best not to get spotted with their odor. 

The werewolf narrowed his eyes, lowering himself onto four legs as he examined the man standing before them. He seemed speechless, which wasn’t necessarily a synonym for quiet. 

The snake’s tail hit the ground, lifting dried leaves into the air. Alan looked at her, and something akin to a whimper came as a reply to her question. The human didn’t seem frightened at all. Phone in front of him, as if it were a shield, he seemed blissfully unaware of what awaited him. 

While she took care of the front side of that foolish man, the wolf darted out of the clearing, leaving the bleating lamb there. The sun was starting to break through the leaves, coloring the scenery with hues of pale gold, but though the harness of the moon had now been removed from the wolf, he moved to the side, ready to block any attempt the young man would make at running for his life. 

Anita was never sure if the pure ignorance to present and apparent danger was a learned human deficiency or if it was simply further proof of Darwin’s theories of survival of the fittest. Because, after all, humans were certainly not the fittest creatures and this man was not the fittest in the forest that evening. Expectedly, that meant his chances of surviving the night were not great. 

In sync with her former opponent, Anita began to circle around the opposite direction away from the lamb and around towards their joint prey. She was not sure what the wolf’s plan of action was but it was her intention to not give this man any opportunity to escape his pending fate. Allowing herself to get down low to the ground, her body moved swiftly along the forest as she allowed the gentle shadows created by the moonlight hitting the trees above to conceal a fair amount of her movements. As she closed the gap between herself and this human, who was so clearly at this point not a hunter, Anita prepared her attack. 

Not bothering with her usual methodology of injecting a potent dose of her natural toxin into her victim’s blood stream, Anita quickly lifted her torso up from the ground so that she was suddenly towering over the human. Then, in one swift movement, she opened her mouth as wide as it could and came down upon the man and clamped her fangs down around his lower waist, as she spotted the wolf with his teeth already clamped down on the man’s lower half. She hoped this meal would satisfy his craving and that he would not turn his attention back to the lamb once this feast was completed. 

If he had been fully in control of his psyche, Alan would have been absolutely terrified right then. The snake blended in well in this environment, and the morning sun did a number on his perception of her movements. If he could have been mesmerized by it, what came next was horrifying.

No matter how much shit he had been exposed to through these last years, nothing prepared you to see a man getting nearly swallowed whole by a gigantic snake. But his werewolf had taken over, and Alan could only decide on what leg he would sink his teeth in, on where he would drag his half of the man to, but certainly not on whether he wanted to do that. No. Tonight, he once again had not been in control of the what. Only of the how. 

Undisturbed by the shattering of bones, the spilling viscera, the wolf growled low as he raised onto his back limbs, the intruder's ankle in his jaw and the rest of his legs dangling to the side. Blood stained his grey coat of fur as he confronted the snake one last time. His gaze was drawn to the lamb again, but the taste of blood on his tongue seemed more enticing than that little tender thing there. 

His prize secure, he retreated out of the clearing, leaving the snake behind him. 

So engrossed in her meal, which had quite a strange aftertaste that she didn’t quite enjoy, Anita had almost missed the fact that the wolf retreated out of the area and into the shadows and anonymity of the woods surrounding them. She looked back towards where the lamb had been and felt content in knowing that it would survive another day. Would it survive longer than that? Well, that wasn’t her concern anymore. 

Her attention darted between her jacket and purse that she had discarded near the lamb and the treeline where the wolf had disappeared into. Glancing up, she noted that the moon was nearly gone as the dawn had nearly replaced the dusk. Anita wondered how immediate the reverse transformation happened once the lunar influence disappeared. 

Swiftly, to try and catch up to the other shifter quickly, Anita darted towards the woods. Each second that passed was filled with less moon light. As she moved expertly around the trees she suddenly heard a telling noise, the familiar sound of bones crushing. Slowing herself down and zeroing in on the wolf’s heat signature, Anita caught the tail end of his transformation back into human. The man was scruffy and completely naked … and familiar? Yes, she knew that face somehow but she couldn’t place it. Interesting. Had he recognized her too? That would have to be a question answered another day, and Anita quickly darted back out of the woods to collect her discarded purse and jacket before finally making her way home.

[myrandomfandomramblings]

A short AU where Chenford becomes “break-up buddies” instead of a couple in 5x08/5x09 and the gang has thoughts on how to get over a break-up.

Minor 5x08/5x09 rewrite for context and because honestly as much as I loved 5x08/5x09 I would have preferred if they had dragged out the pre-relationship phase of Chenford a little longer (until the end of the season).

-5x08-

T: …This is about you staying in a safe relationship because you’re scared.

L: Of course I’m scared I don’t want to be alone forever.

T: You won’t be alone forever… You’re not even alone now. Or are you forgetting I recently went through a break-up myself. We can be in this together.

L: *questioning eye brow raise*

T: You know if you want company, or someone to do something with or to commiserate with I’ll be there, all you have to do is ask.

L: Tim, you don’t have to.

T: I know. Maybe I could use some support after my break-up. Maybe this isn’t all about you.

L: Well earlier you said it wasn’t about you, so who is it about, exactly?

T: Do you want a break-up buddy or not?

L: Break-up buddy?

T: *shrugs*

L: *laughs* You have yourself a deal.

-5x09-

L: How's it going? 

T:*Sighs* Counting the seconds until Grey returns. What are you doing back?

L: I talked to Chris. 

T: How did it go? 

L: Uh, awful. Yeah. But it's done.

T: Ah Ok. So why are you back?

L: I’m here to see you. Take you up on your break-up buddy offer… I didn’t want to be alone tonight.

T: *nods* Ok, the night watch commander should be here in half an hour. Why don’t you go ahead to my place, grab some ice cream on the way and pick a movie to stream and I’ll meet you there, even let you talk through the movie if you want.

L: Oh, I do.

-A few weeks later-

*Tim, Lucy, Aaron, Angela, Nyla, Wesley and Nolan sit at a table at the food trucks eating lunch*

L: For tonight I’ve decided on Zootopia with Moose Tracks… See the animal theme.

T: *smirks and nods*

Aaron: What are you talking about?

L: Oh, since our break-ups’ Tim and I have been doing weekly ice cream movie nights. We’re break-up buddies.

Angela: You’re what?

T: It just means we do things together to help each-other through our break-ups.

Angela: And those things have been watching movies and eating ice cream?

T: Yeah. I’m just glad it’s not another relationship closure checklist. Why what do you guys do to get over a break-up?

Nolan: I usually throw myself into a project. Keep myself busy and my mind off the relationship.

Wes: There’s an easier way to not think about a relationship. Alcohol. I go out and get completely wasted. 

Aaron: No no, you guys are going about this all wrong. You can’t ignore the feelings you got to embrace them to move through them. Which is why I get excessive amounts of junk food, put on an endless break-up playlist and have a good cry.

Nyla: I agree with the embracing your feelings part but that’s just sad. You’re not working through anything, you’re just moping. The best way to get over a break-up is at the gun range... One of those axe-throwing places or where you can break things with a baseball bat would probably also work.

Angela: You’re all wrong. The best way to get over a break-up is rebound sex.

Aaron, Nyla, Wes and Nolan: *murmur in agreement*

Angela: *looking at Tim and Lucy* Just something for you “break-up buddies” to consider. 

Tim and Lucy: 😳

[historia-vitae-magistras]

okay please take no offence lol but is matt having a terrible fashion sense based on how canadians dress or just his own personal thing ? in my head theres a matt who would like self-comfort through bundling up in super soft cosy fabrics that work both as a barrier to the outside world and also the closest he gets to a hug lol like a baby seal with its insulated coat. but then i also see him wearing the same threadbare hoodie everyday thats covered in stains and stinks and gives off moose waking up cranky and sore after a nap.

Both? There's certainly a difference in dress between the cities and the hinterland and somewhat regionally. I've always imagined Matt to have different modes of dress? He can cut as neat a figure as anyone else, he is a kind of French with an enjoyment of sleek, well made clothes in dark colours that can veer more European when he's not wearing flannel. But at home, especially in his mid winter slump or any other depressive phase? Oh yeah, he's been wearing that hoodie so long he's growing mushrooms under the duvet, everything hurts and he's tired and cold and mad. Also going to ground to be cosy!

[transgenderer]

The snipers were John Allen Muhammad (age 41 at the time) and Lee Boyd Malvo (age 17 at the time), who traveled in a blue 1990 Chevrolet Caprice sedan. Their crime spree, which began in February 2002, included murders and robberies in several states, which resulted in seven deaths and seven injuries. In total, the snipers killed 17 people and wounded 10 others in a 10-month span.[2]

the dc sniper attacks were insane. most sources focus on their "fast spree" in DC, but before that they shot 9 other people! 6 killed! and it was all over the country, which is why they werent caught before they did the whole DC thing. some of them were close range too. outside of the DC area there were shootings in at least tacoma, washington; tucson, atlanta, montgomery, alabama; baton rouge, hammond, louisiana, possibly more, i cant find a clear list anywhere and the wikipedia article alludes to four shootings before september but after tacoma and tucson, but atlana montgomery baton rouge and hammond were all after they did a couple shootings in the DC area, but before the spree. anyway isnt this insane! 10+ shootings, over the course of about 8 months, starting in february and ending in the october spree. isnt that bizarre! malvo kept shooting people in the neck and not succesfully killing them

anyway once you get to the actual DC sniper shootings and not the preliminary stuff the information on wikipedia is SUPER detailed, id recommend just reading it

they shot through a hole in the back of the truck for stealth. just a bunch of random strangers going about their day

they killed a whole bunch of people on october 3rd, nobody even knew where the bullets were coming from but it became clear there were a bunch of shootings so everyone started freaking out, then they started spacing them out, a couple days between each

they shot a 13 year old, and left stuff at the scene:

At this crime scene, the authorities discovered a shell casing as well as a Tarot card (the Death card) inscribed with the phrase "Call me God" on the front and, on three separate lines on the back: "For you mr. Police." "Code: 'Call me God'." "Do not release to the press."[29][32] Despite police efforts to honor the request not to release information about the card to the press, details were made public by WUSA-TV and then by The Washington Post, just one day later.[33]

they kept shooting people at gas stations (and parking lots), so gas stations started putting up tarps to hide their customers!

it went on for THREE WEEKS (eventually people connected the chevy caprice to the crimes)

The crime spree came to a close at 3:15 a.m. on October 24, 2002, when Muhammad and Malvo were found sleeping in their car at a rest stop off Interstate 70 near Myersville, Maryland, and were arrested on federal weapons charges. Police were tipped off by two 911 calls from individuals at the rest stop.[47] Four hours earlier, Montgomery County police chief Charles Moose had relayed this cryptic message to the sniper: "You have indicated that you want us to do and say certain things. You have asked us to say, 'We have caught the sniper like a duck in a noose.' We understand that hearing us say this is important to you". Moose asked the media "to carry the message accurately and often."[48] This statement may refer to a Cherokee fable.[49]

the motive isnt super clear, but here's what malvo testified:

Part of his testimony concerned Muhammad's complete multiphase plan. His plan consisted of three phases in the Washington, D.C., and Baltimore metro areas. Phase one consisted of meticulously planning, mapping, and practicing their locations around the D.C. area. This way, after each shooting they would be able to quickly leave the area on a predetermined path and move on to the next location. Muhammad's goal in Phase One was to kill six white people a day for 30 days. Malvo went on to describe how Phase One did not go as planned due to heavy traffic and the lack of a clear shot or getaway at locations.

Phase Two was meant to take place in Baltimore, Maryland. Malvo described how this phase was close to being implemented, but was not carried out. Phase Two was intended to begin by killing a pregnant woman by shooting her in the stomach. The next step would have been to shoot and kill a Baltimore police officer. Then, at the officer's funeral, they planned to detonate several improvised explosive devices complete with shrapnel. These explosives were intended to kill a large number of police, since many police would attend another officer's funeral.

The last phase was to take place during or shortly after Phase Two, which was to extort several million dollars from the United States government. This money would be used to finance a larger plan, to travel north to Canada. Along the way, they would stop in YMCAs and orphanages recruiting other impressionable young black boys with no parents or guidance. Muhammad thought he could act as their father figure as he did with Malvo.

Once he recruited a large number of young black boys and made his way up to Canada, he would begin their training. Malvo described how John Muhammad intended to train boys in weapons and stealth as he had been taught. Finally, after their training was complete, John Allen Muhammad would send them out across the United States to carry out mass shootings in many other cities, just as he had done in Washington and Baltimore. These attacks would be coordinated and be intended to send the country into chaos that had already been built up after 9/11.

im suspicious of all of this, because this was part of the defense's case that malvo was basically not guilty because he was under muhammad's control, which incentivizes a certain narrative. although malvo was definitely under muhammad's control, he sort of raised him.

the wikipedia articles for the perpetrators are also worth a read. very bizarre story, malvo grew up in jamaica, bounced around between caregivers, and ended up in muhammad's care (muhammad was american, visiting) and illegally immigrated!

[primevein]

The Prime of His Youth: Book IV: Fire's Master: Ch39: Rogue Heart

Smokescreen peered around the corner and saw two Headmasters. The Headmasters slowly twitched slightly and slowly, jaggedly looked towards him. The arms slowly, jaggedly moved, and he pulled back the moment he realized they were pointing their blasters at him. He quickly pulled back around the corner. He looked at his elite guard. "I'll distract them. Remember, Energon shots to the Transtector. Do not hit the head." He looked between their eyes, and they all understood. He ran down the corridor, and turned his Phase Shifter on, slipping through the wall.

Smokescreen slipped into an empty room and doubled back. He ran along the wall. When he got to the other end, he faced the wall and slipped through. He turned off the Phase Shifter and transformed his right hand into a blaster. Craddled in his left, he started shooting at their bodies. Slowly the Headmasters twitched towards him, taking shots to their body. Once they were almost there he shouted, "Go."

All of the Elite Guard other than Golden Hind appeared around the corner, and opened fire. The high volume of blaster fire caused the Headmasters to list over. Eventually the heads fell off, only to be caught by Smokescreen. "Cinderstream, the Micromasters. Landslide and Moose Runner the Transtectors."

* * *

The Micromasters slowly opened their eyes, groggy, slowly looking about.

"Good to see you awake." Knockout stated, "I'll be your doctor." One of the Micromasters groaned, followed by the other. "Now, care to tell me what happened?"

"It was like the Energon in my blood was controlling me."

"That's not like how the others describe it." Ratchet said, and the two Micromasters turned to look at him. As they did, they saw the other Micromasters. They were moving slowly, but fluidly; fatigued, but not being yanked about like puppets. One looked at Ratchet, while the other looked at Knockout. "The short version is that it's over."

"At least for you." Knockout stated.

"The Elite Guard is seeing to the others." Ratchet stated.

"And we have tall, dark, and awe-inspiring to watch over us." Knockout gleefully added, and then calmed himself down, "Sorry. You are still recovering."

The two Micromasters slowly started to sit upright, still looking around with awe. Then they felt something on their left arms, and looked over, seeing the Energon infusers.

"We were bleeding out?" one of them asked, and then looked over his body, and then the one of his compatriot.

"Not so lucky." Knockout stated, "It will take a bit to explain, so we'll do it as soon as you want it."

"I..." the other stated, and then paused to groan, "want..." *groan* "know..."

"Dark Energon is the blood of Unicron." Ratchet stated, "Who I'm afraid is very real, despite my hopes to the contrary. The Dark Energon has seeped into every part of Master. Including all of you."

"We're not sure what got his jollies in a knot," Knockout stated, and the heads slowly shifted to him, "probably to do with that tall, gorgeous, purple guy, but whatever it is, when he really wants to, he can control you. Lucky for you, we know the cure." They let out a questioning groan, "Energon." They gave him a disbelieving look.

"It takes a LOT of Energon to counteract even a small amount of Dark Energon." Ratchet voiced, "And I'm guessing you've never bothered flushing everyone with Energon. If we weren't doing it to cure you, it would be wasting your Energon reserves."

"But lucky for you, you have us to snap you out of it." Knockout excitedly stated.

"And lucky for you, we have previous experience with this." Ratchet stated, "But, if it's any comfort, it's far less dangerous here than it was last time." The two Micromasters let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

The rear doors to the command centre opened up as Eurawind transformed into a landing. Her eyes focused on the only thing in the room, something that did not fit right for her. He stood taller than even a Prime, but far less than the Combiners. She gave him a curious look.

"I am Warmachine, crafted by His Prime." he said, as he stepped up. He then broke into the seven Micromasters.

"I am Rector." the leader said.

"I didn't know that minicons could combine?" Eurawind stated.

"His Prime found a way." Gaylord happily said.

"How can we help you?" Scatter asked.

"I have a message for His Prime, though, you should know as well." Eurawind stated. "Unicron seems to have greater control over the Headmasters than the average..." she trailed off as she gestured to the Micromasters. "Shots with Energon weapons to the Transtectors can disable them without injurying the minicon controlling them."

"Do you have to call us minicons?" Irelic angrily asked.

"Zephawind is the more diplomatic." Eurawind replied, "I was expecting to speak with His Prime."

"Let us let her get to it." Morpheus quietly said.

* * *

Zephawind transformed into a landing, looking before all three paths before her in turn. She followed the comm. ping. She looked left, before transforming, and flying down that path.

* * *

Zephawind heard and sensed the energy signature of blaster fire as she flew up. She transformed into a landing safely outside of the battle, to see what was happening. They were in a colossal chambre of worked stone, with a great, domed ceilling. There were various side paths, all with their own flurries of light shone from blaster fire.

In the middle was Japheth Prime, literally fighting back to back with Arcee. Japheth had his left hand transformed into a path blaster while his right was his chainsword. It took four shots from his path blaster to make a Transtector fall. He then stepped into the swarming Terrorcons while Arcee pummeled another stumbling Headmaster with her longshot blasters. Another Headmaster slowly, jaggedly aimed his blaster pistol at them, only to be momentarily stunned by a shot from Carron's carronade.

Japheth's left-handed reverted. He handed the chainsword over to his left hand and brought his right hand to his right ear. He opened a comm. channel to the Wreckers. "Wreckers. I'll need someone to carry some Micromasters back to the surface." He looked about for a moment, not sure what he expected. He looked back as Arcee dove forward with her arm blades, striking the shambling mini-Terrorcons. While she could easily knock them down with her arm blades and back with her kicks, she could barely crack their chestplates. Japheth turned towards her as the Headmaster Carron had shot was aiming towards him again. He passed his chainsword back to his right hand, transformed his left to a path blaster, and shot him. A few of his shots landed with those of Carron, and the head fell from the falling body. Arcee looked as the shambling horrors were nearly upon her, when a thin, clawed hand struck through one of their chest plates from behind. Arcee, stunned, looked over, to see Airachnid smiling wickedly at her. A moment later her other hand broke through another.

Arcee looked, stunned, as the shambling mini-Terrorcons swarmed her. Airachnid withdrew her hands, quickly moving to struck through another one. Japheth stepped in, his chainsword cutting cleanly through one, and then another, and then a third. Arcee snapped out of it and flipped up and over her sparkmate, landing behind him, watching his back. Japheth's chainsword cutting through a few more, as Airachnid pierced another one. The bodies were all on the ground, none leaking Energon, despite the wounds. Airachnid was proud, and then stunned, as the most unexpected thing happened: Japheth's hand was on her head, and gave her a gentle pet. He then turned back towards Arcee, as she and Carron were pummeling the Headmaster with their blasters. Japheth transformed his left hand into a path blaster again, and one shot added enough Energon to overflow the Transtector's buffers, and seperate the head from the collapsing body. The main cavern was suddenly silent. Light would randomly flash from the side passages, along with all and sundry sounds of battle.

He looked back to Siren, Arcelia, and Roxana, who now had Eurawind standing beside them. He waved them over. Eurawind stood stunned for a moment. The others had transformed. Eurawind transformed and flew passed them, transforming into a landing next to Japheth and Arcee. She wondered why Arcee was so nervous. Arcee looked back for a moment, and Eurawind followed her gaze to the now pink and white Airachnid. Arcee looked uncomfortable, confused, and even afraid as she looked back to Eurawind. Japheth looked at Eurawind, and then behind her, as the others transformed to step up beside her. Japheth turned to the stunned Micromasters, and then back at Roaxna. Roxana quickly transformed, with Arcelia doing the same right behind her. He then looked back to Eurawind. "Report." Japheth said to her.

"The Elite Guard wanted me to pass along what they learned about..." she trailed off, and looked at the fallen Micromasters.

"Help Roxana." Japheth said to her.

"I'm... I'm not a medic?.." Eurawind asked.

"I said help." Japheth firmly said, his tone broking no resistance, and Eurawind quickly stood to attention before she transformed to fly over.

Japheth then turned to look at Airachnid, Arcee turning to follow him. She saw a shocked look on Airachnid's face, and followed her gaze to a smiling Japheth. Airachnid quickly looked the other way.

"You can't hide how good his headpats are." Arcee admonished Airachnid. Airachnid gave her a deathly glare. "I was the first bot to get them." She said, and paused a moment, "While he was still Human." She turned and transformed to join the other Femmes. Airachnid was too shocked to move.

"Two things no one told you, one, I can read sparks. Something I've gotten better at, every moment I've been a Cybertornian. The other, I was a Human." He paused for a moment as he looked her deep in the eyes, "One you used to hunt." He turned to walk towards the Femmes. Airachnid was too stunned to react for a moment, before turning to slowly walk after him. Unable to make herself walk any faster. He stopped and turned towards her. He waited for her to catch up to him, when he held out his right hand, "Jack Darby, pleased to meet you." he said. She found herself reaching out to grab his hand simply as if she had been ordered to do so. Her will played no part in it, either way. "I don't have to be Jack Darby to know how horrifying you can be. And if I was just Jack Darby, I probably could not look passed it. But, luckily for you, I'm more than I used to be. Luckily for you, you are as well." He turned to continue walking away, leaving Airachnid completely stunned.

* * *

Seaspray blew in, with Phantom Rider rolling in right after him. Japheth gave them a curious look. "We drew the short straws." Seapspray said, and Japheth gave them a disbelieving look. He transformed, with Phantom Rider transforming right behind him. "Alright, Bulkhead wanted to make sure Miko doesn't go all Dinobot, while Jackie is spotting for Moonchild."

"That makes more sense." Arcee said. Seaspray caught Phantom Rider's head turn, and turned to follow his gaze. He saw Airachnid off in the distance, nervously looking away, while still watching with the corners of her eyes.

He looked back to Japheth, "What's with her?"

"Oh, she just learned who he is." Arcee said.

"Miko told me about the history between them." Seaspray continued, "Honestly, even with the Matrix of Leadership, it's hard to believe anyone could believe he'd actually try."

"Tsk." Arcee said, and Seaspray gave her an inquisitive look. "I hate to say it." Arcee said, and looked over to Airachnid. Seaspray resisted the desire to look over at her. Phantom Rider was going to look over, but stopped when he saw Seaspray's restraint, and looked back to Arcee, "I really hate to say it." she continued, "But, he succeded. She even got her first headpat."

"First?" Seaspray asked.

"First of many." Arcee stated, "Look, I haven't forgiven her. Honestly I don't think I ever will, or if I can, but..." she said, and lovingly looked to Japheth.

"Good." Seaspray said, and paused a moment as the others looked at him curiously, "I won't have to shoot her again."

Phantom Rider's eyes grew wide with surprise.

"Her spark has changed." Japheth stated. "But that means she's..." he said, and paused a moment to think it over, "Doesn't mean she won't backstab."

"Is she... safe?" Phantom Rider asked, eyes barely visible through his face mask.

"She'll backstab for us." Japheth said with a smile. He could barely see the worried look on Phantom Rider's face, "For us. Still working on that part."

[tatomikat]

Midnight Meetings

Game Placement: after “The Sorceress of the Valley”

Warnings: No warnings apply to this chapter

“Wind!” Flora cried as soon as her and Wild's blurred and warped faces appeared on his pendant. “It's so good to see you again.”

Wind smiled back at the two blondes. “It's also good to see you again. Both of you. But what was that all about earlier? Why did you act as if we don't know each other?”

She gave him an apologetic smile, that he could barely see through his pendant. “Sorry. But I'm worried that us messing with the timeline could destabilize it again. So we need to make sure to keep information about the future a secret to Arty and War. Particularly their own future.”

“So in other words, we have to act as if <i>that</i> adventure never happened? Got it.” He gave them a thumps up.

Then his easy smile turned into a more teasing one. “On another note. Wont you two get in trouble? I mean, a princess being alone with some 'random man' this late at night?”

“Random man?” He heard Wild laugh. “Well that random man happens to be her husband.”

Within seconds Wind's mirth turned into shock and back into mirth once again. “You're married?” Then he threw the back of his hand onto his forehead in a very over dramatic fashion. “Let me guess. It was a beautiful full moon night. You fell to your knees in a gorgeous field of flowers and presented her with a ring made with a diamond you found yourself?”

Flora snorted. “Well it sure was night. However, I'm not quite sure what phase the moon was in, since it was absolutely bucketing down at the moment. Also, we were actually in a swamp. Standing knee deep in stinking mucus, with the rotting cadaver of an... elk?” She turned to direct the last question at the man next to her.

“A moose”

“A moose. Right.”She happily clapped in her hands before turning back to address Wind again.“The rotting cadaver of a moose right next to us. Also, I'm the one who asked him, after I got tired of waiting for him to take a hint.” She added almost as an afterthought. “It was so romantic.”

While Wind was busy laughing at the mental image – seriously, could those two ever do anything the normal way? - she turned once again to Wild. “Seriously, you were way too oblivious.”

Chuckling Wild gave her a kiss on the cheek in response. “Girl, you're talking about the guy who checked you for a fever every time someone called you hot. What did you expect?”

“Good point.” She relented and turned back to Wind once he had calmed down again. “But enough of that now. Tell me. How's Tetra doing?”

<->-<->-<-><->-<->-<-><->-<->-<-><->-<->-<->

“Why?” Link asked as he approached the older woman. “We had a plan. Why did you leave your post?”

It was the evening after that disastrous fight in the Valley of Seers. The evening before they were to split up. To go after the gates of souls and close them.

If he wanted to get answers as to why everything went as wrong as it did, this was the only chance he got.

With a sigh, Impa sat on one of the tree logs placed around the campfire, serving as benches. With a bandaged hand she motioned for him to sit down next to her.

“I... I thought I saw the princess.” She admitted once he had sat down.

Now what was he supposed to say to that? That she shouldn't have run after the very person they were looking for?

At times like this, he really wished that Proxi had chosen to stay with him. That she hadn't chosen to stay at the fairy fountain.

Things had been so much easier during those short days, when he was able to leave the talking to her. When he could only be a regular soldier.

But fact was, a battle field was no place for a fairy.

Even if you ignored how small and vulnerable they were. All those negative emotions and auras were bound to be deeply uncomfortable for them. To put it mildly.

There was no way he could have expected of her to put up with something like that.

“Of course, if I had known that Volga was nearby, I wouldn't have left Sheik alone like that.” Impa continued, unaware of his momentary distraction. “At least, I would have taken her with me.”

“It's okay. I'm sure everyone would have reacted like that.” He patted her on the shoulder, in what was hopefully a reassuring way. “And I'm sure she's alright. Wherever she is right now.”

<->-<->-<-><->-<->-<-><->-<->-<-><->-<->-<->

A failure.

A complete and utter failure of a mission.

It should have been simple. In and out. Just go in, remove that witch's head from her shoulders, and be done with it.

But what else did he expect? Leaving the important tasks in the hands of children, strangers and Sheikah scum!

“That never would have happened if >i>you</i> had been in charge, would it?” A voice said from behind him.

But when Ingram whirled around with his sword drawn, no one was there. The camp was deserted at this late hour. Everyone having retired after the disastrous day.

“And that useless princess, of course.” The disembodied voice continued. “The castle would have never fallen, this battle would have never happened, if the army had been in the hands of someone with experience. Someone like you.”

“You think I don't know that?” Ingram growled into the darkness.

Even that insolent brat's parents had completely failed.

They were too soft. Too weak.

Always trying to keep the peace. Always letting everyone dance around on their noses. The kingdom's aristocracy's power was at an all time low because of them.

He had to work his way through the ranks like a peasant because of them. Instead of becoming a knight right after his training, like his forefathers. Because, thanks to them, knighthood was practically worthless nowadays.

And the princess was going to be just like them, if she was ever to ascend the throne.

Finally a figure stepped out of the shadows. And it was the splitting image of that very same cursed princess. Giving him a warped and sinister smile.

“It's unfair, isn't it?” The princess' distorted voice came from the being in front of him. “But I can assure you, my mistress is able to help you right that wrong. You just have to cooperate.”

[blue-opossum]

Moose Maze

        1 minute and 15 seconds to read.

        Friday morning, 4 November 2022.

        Moose Maze

        Dream #: 20,409-07.

        I walk through a square tunnel, flat-surfaced, with walls of cinder blocks (like the type from my Cubitis home). About two inches of water covers the floor.

        I "walk with intent," feeling the blissful illusion of imaginary kinesthesia.

        At the end of a hall is a little rectangular window. I see a moose through the window.

        I spontaneously lean against the wall. The weight of the moose pushes back without the animal intending to hurt me.

        Eventually, the phasing sensations align with my physical body, and my perception of my orientation changes from vertical (imagined) to horizontal (genuine).

        This dream content with protoconsciousness as an animal semblance often occurs as an intuitive or metacognitive prompt to change my sleeping position but sometimes serves as a bathroom wake-up call dream. It is also more often a door rather than another form of proprioception-based mediation as here.

        Some engaging examples:

        A crocodile pushes the tip of its snout (as I shove back against it) through the partly open door that does not fill its frame. Using my right leg and foot, I tip over a burlap bag full of barley seeds opposite the door. Barley seeds flow out toward the crocodile's snout, and it starts devouring them. (July 2022.)

        All that remains of the Cubitis house is its bathroom. I hold the door closed as a bear tries to push its way in. (December 2019.)

        I hold a door partly closed against a catfish (in a natural horizontal orientation) about my size while in an underwater bathroom of a submerged hotel. (November 2019.) (I have always "breathed underwater" in my dreams.)

        I want to go into the bathroom of the Cubitis house, but a vulture about my size is pushing against the door as I push back. (February 2017.)

[viennasartdump]

She’s so disgusted with what her spawns had become. 

[impyssadobsessions]

Jazz lead the way through the vent, looking for a way to get to the floor below. Spotting a dropping point, she turned back to Damian, who was paused a ways down. She furrowed her brows confused, “I found a drop.” Damian didn't respond outside of a grunt of acknowledgment. He was stuck on the commotion on the comms. There was no way he could get out and down there in time. He should have ended Plasmius while he had a chance. Idiots, how could they let the enemy get the upper hand? He should have waited to rescue Jazz and focused on taking down Plasmius first. He should have-

Damian jolted back then hissed hitting his head on the top of the vent when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He glared at the culprit, as Jazz just gave him a weak smile back. “It'll be ok. Luck tends to favor those always living dangerously close to death...” She tried to comfort, but she had no idea what was happening. It scared her. “I don't need to be comforted like a child.” Damian hissed. “Adults need comfort too.” Jazz hummed, with a slightly warmer smile. “Tt.” Damian pushed past Jazz despite the cramp space, to lead the way down. He wasn't worried...

–@w@

“Dammit, Dickie! What floor!?” Jason cursed kicking the wall of the elevator. Even if he knew, there was no guarantee they would make it on time. If anything happened to them, he swore- “I.. have an idea..” Danny panted from his corner. Jason whipped his head over, remembering Danny was still with him. Danny waving a thermos in his hand.

–ewe

Dick pulled Tim and Cass close, trying to cover them as much as he could with his body. All of them trying to find an exit point, but there were only flat walls. Plasmius's duplicates had them completely surrounded. They wouldn't be able to take enough of them out in time. Dick could only hope his body would protect them enough. What Dick didn't expect was a giant moose coming through the walls and ramming down the duplicates turning them into goo on the spot. Nor did he expect to see Jason riding on its back. Jason vaulted off of the moose-wolf, flipping bazooka off his back and aiming it at the duplicates behind Dick, Tim and Cass. He fired before the duplicates could continue their attack. A large beam of green shot out of the bazooka, knocking Jason back, as it took out all of the duplicates in front of him. Jason took in a moment to admire how powerful this weapon is, grinning, as he stood back up to face any remainder duplicates. Jason aimed the bazooka again, “Bullwinkle! Get going!” Jason's voice having a bit of static near the end of his speech. The Moose-wolf phased through the wall, as Jason fired the weapon again. Clearing out the halls. He hissed at the pain of his shoulder. The Fentons made powerful weapons, that's for sure. Dick stood there stunned for a moment, then smiled in relief. “I never took you for a white knight kind of type. Though riding on an undead steed seems oddly fitting.” “White horses are cliché.” Jason huffed. Tim looked at Jason, plainly stating, “Danny's idea.” Jason nodded, as he swung the bazooka onto his back. He rolled his shoulders, trying to work through the pain of using it. Didn't help one shoulder was still shot from an earlier blast. “Yeah, he's on the elevator. Speaking of, tell him its floor 4. I handed him my comm.” Jason waved. Dick was going to do just that when Danny's voice came on. “For the record, rodeo-ing animals is not how I usually handle these situations. It just seemed like the best solution... tonight-day... …wait, four? Gotta go back down.. We could have made it..” Danny spoke on the comm, breathing heavy. “Still made it just in time.” Dick was just grateful it worked. Though Danny was sounding worse. “Come on.” Jason gesturing down the hall as the others got to their feet. “The elevator should be this way. Can't let that rejected theater disaster of a cunt to catch up with us.” “Dramatic, but he does hit pretty hard.” Tim rubbing his cheek. “Tt. Imbeciles, allowing the enemy to get the upper hand like that.” Damian cut in on the comm. “Awww, was the Demon brat worried?” Jason teased. “To be killed by a man that replaces swears with bakery goods, would be a dishonor to us all.” Yes he was worried. “That's Vlad, for ya. Its really funny when you do get him to curse. Done it, once. And I think we're going to get him to do it again,” Danny snickered in his mumbled tone. “Though.. you think for a billionaire, he would have something better to do then try to forcibly adopt a teen with a laundry list of issues.” Everyone suppressed the chuckle at that statement, trying not to laugh. It didn't help as they could hear Bruce clear his throat over the comm. “Is everyone alright?” Batman asked. He had been holding his breath while listening to their fight. “Fine B. Thanks to Jaybird and Danny.” Dick stated. “Those ecto-blasts are rough, though.” Tim rubbed his wrist. Cass trying to rub the spot on her back too. Jason rubbing his own shoulder in agreement. “You get use to it...” Danny muttered. “Luckily Plasmius's blasts are weakening. He never was much of a fighter.” Everyone felt a chill, as that sunk in. They were taking the brunt of his weaker blasts. Talk about a shot to their egos. How strong was Danny at his full strength then? Ding. They heard the elevator chime in the hall, hurrying to move towards it as the door opened. Revealing Danny leaning against the wall with a light trail of slime from where he originally sat to where he stood now. “What floor-hey.” “Sit.” Jason told Danny, as he lightly pushed on the boy's shoulder to make

him sit back down. Danny huffed, letting himself slid to the floor. Tim grimaced getting to see how Danny was doing in person. Cass moved to crouch near Danny, tempted to touch the oozing teen. Dick pressed his lips, glancing at Jason, who was already pressing the button for the 7th floor. Jason not returning Dick's look. “I'm guessing Damian and Jazz are on 7?” Jason asked turning to the others. Dick nodded, as Damian confirmed it over the com. “We found where the Fenton parents are located. They're in pods, from where we can see.” “Plasmius will strike there next. We can't let him get the upper hand again.” Dick stated. “Yeah, because I'm all out of free rides.” Danny muttered. “How do we keep from being thrown through floors?” Tim asked. “Don't suck?” Jason answered, as Tim frowned. “We'll have to cover each other's backs, or feet in this regard.” said Dick as he crossed his arms, leaning against one of the walls. “Or get my parents out first...” Danny sighed, “Vlad.. kind of falls apart.. when his plans and back up plans start to crumble.. Plus.. he's running out of steam.. or should be.” “So that was a final attack type of strategy.” Tim put a finger to his chin in thought. So that means the chances of him doing it again, was low. If he did, he could only do it once. As the just reached floor six, they felt the elevator jerk to a stop as the lights flickered off. “FUCK!”

–(0u0)

Jazz and Damian peaked through the window of the door, watching the three vultures casually flying around the room. Jazz could clearly see her parents shapes in pods behind them. “They're stuck. Again.” Damian's eye twitched in annoyance. Jasmine nodded, as she stared at the room. She took a deep breath, “Ok, Do you think you can sneak in over to that table? In the large cage under it, it looks to be the weapons our parents had on hand.” Damian only needed to take a glance, “Easy.” He slipped through the doors, not waiting for Jazz's reaction, keeping his eyes trained on the vultures as he slipped into the shadows. He paused in his movements to keep track of the vultures, every time he needed to slip behind another piece of furniture. Jazz watching with baited breath, glancing back and fourth from the room to the device in her hands. She was trying to keep a look out for Plasmius. If he showed up, it would be a problem. Damian made it to the table, relatively easy as two out of the three vultures had fallen asleep, the third one on its way. Its head kept drooping, as it flew to sit on a piece of furniture by the others. Damian snorted at how terrible they were at their jobs. He glanced down at the lock on the cage, it was a pin pad. Damian frowned as he tried to hack into it. Jazz drummed her fingers on the Fenton Finder. Her parents were right there, but she couldn't run to them. That would put Robin in harms way. She didn't want to risk anyone else getting hurt. So she just had to wait a little bit long- Damian cursed as the pinpad denied access with a loud distorted beep, causing the Vultures to startle awake. “AH! What-” “Hey, what that kid doing there?” “That's the one that stabbed me!” “Like a swish kabob?” “Very one.” “And I'll do it again.” Damian threatened as he pulled out the roasting stick pointing it at the birds. The vultures flew up, ready to attack. “We're not going to be so easy this time.” “You'll see the full extent of our power-” “Wait!” Jazz rushed in, door swishing behind her. “Can we.. talk this out?” “...eh?” The vultures paused and so did Damian to give Jazz a questionable look. “Y-yeah! I mean, you three have been working with Vlad for like two years, right? A-and after all the work you've done, have you ever felt.. rewarded for your time?” Jazz's face carried a nervous smile, as she side glanced at Damian. Hoping that give him the signal not to attack. Damian was just too dumbstruck to act. Even more as it worked. “He did threatened to turn us to goo.” “That carrion was good.” “Not enough for a balding tail! I will never be popular with the ladies at the bird sanctuary.” “You never would have even if you had tail like a peacock!” “I could dream!” “Y-yes! Right, what about your dreams? What are your aspirations?” Jazz pulling a chair, sitting in her therapist pose. “And how is this path in life preventing you from it?” The Vultures all took a moment to look at each other, before landing. They started talking, all at once. Jazz just nodding as she listened, taking a moment to glance at Damian. She shifted a nod towards her parents, before focusing back on the vultures. Damian lowered his roasting stick in confusion. He was now convinced that Jazz must have some meta abilities of her own. There was no way that should have worked. Snapping out of his shock, he broke the pinpad lock as being quiet no longer was necessary. Then he turned his focus on the Fenton Parents. It shouldn't be too hard to free them. Though many machines and wires were hooked to the pods, making it a bit difficult to get to.. or find how to open them.

–>w<

Jason and Dick managed to open the door to the elevator, allowing them all to slip out. They let Cass and Tim out first, then Dick climbed out so he could help catch Danny. There wasn't any obvious sign of Plasmius, meaning the power to the elevator was probably cut. Actually looking at some of the blinking lights, half being turned off, it made it even more true. “He.. probably had a hissy fit.” Danny explained, as he was supported by Tim. Tim was trying not to get grossed out by the slime coming off of the teen. Or think about it soaking through his suit. “Great, on foot we go.” Jason sighed, scratching at his skin. “Probably safer that way, we might find another source of water down here too.” Dick chimed, patting Jason's back as he lead the way forward. “He might be guarding the stairway. That's what I would do, if I wanted easy shots.” Tim shifting Danny, so he can walk. “Should we go ahead, then?” Cass asked. “You three almost got obliterated and you're wanting to face him head on?” Jason inquired. “I didn't say I wanted to-” Tim muttered. “Its probably the best idea we have,” Dick stretching his arms as they walked, “Jazz and Damian are dealing with the vultures.” “She's giving them a therapy session.” Tim pointed out. “Jazz's specialty.” Danny smirked, though he was growing more and more silent. He was getting really sleepy again. “Vultures are insufferable... and though I do not need assistance.” Damian was definitely not frustrated with the machines that bound the Fentons to their pods. “...I have a better chance of not falling for Plasmius cheap tactics unlike Drake.” “Brat. You wouldn't last a hit.” “Perhaps not, but that assumes I would allow myself to be hit. Unlike you, I am much better at dodging.” “Robin, stay there until we reach stairway, then you and Red Robin can switch out.” Dick was trying to reign them in a bit. “Sword.” Danny shifted, trying to gesture it. “Right, can give it to Robin when we switch.” “Here, I'll take Danny, you take the sword.” Jason picking up Danny, as Tim took the sword off his back. “Can walk..” Danny fussed. “Faster if you don't.” Jason huffed, then shifted to take off the bazooka handing it to Cass. Danny sticking his tongue out at Jason. Jason ignored it as he looked at the others, “Don't lose it.” “We'll be better prepared.” Dick stated, as he motioned Cass and Tim to follow, going up ahead. Jason frowned watching them leave, he hated not being there by them after the stunt Plasmius pulled. But he was starting to stumble a little himself from his head, and Danny was close to passing out. Hopefully, this floor had access to water, somewhere. If not, he was tempted to bust a hole and flood the place. Though that would not be ideal for any of them.. it was still an option. It just put them on a stronger time constraint. “...Stars are prettier.. when they're in the sky.” Flooding was starting to sound more like a good idea.

[celestialmango]

(an anon sent me a prompt a while ago that caught my interest and I tweaked it a little so I wouldn't get writers block and get stuck but honestly whoever you are anon, great job👍, I loved it but it just took awhile for creative juices to flow so I could write it out.)

Soft vore, stuffing, unwilling Prey, ambiguous ending, reader insert, fatal mentions.

🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭

Holy shit, you shiver in fear at the knowledge just given to you by the college staff, you shouldn't have signed up for the dorms fuck what do you do? You don't know but you don't have a choice now, you chosen a college far from home and didn't have the money to rent a place. You can see pity on the staffs face as if they know they signed your death warrant. You take a deep breath, stand up and leave.

You don't have a choice, you can't afford to go anywhere else, you were just assigned to be the roommate of a well-known upper class man Pred on campus, as you slowly walk a down the path to the main dorm you feel you have to think, what do you do? as you enter the building....you have an idea, it might be dumb, might not even work but if a plan like this might help you survive you have to at least try it right? You clap your hands and pray to whatever deities are out there that this will work.

You walk down the hall to your assigned dorm room and knock on the door, after a moment it opens and you're face to face with a gurgling bulge of a stomach, you try not to let it phase you as you look up at the towering form rubbing the back of their neck before they look down at you, before the can do anything you play your cards 'o-oh wow you're tall! Hi I'm (y/n)!' you say with an innocent friendly smile 'the dorm manager assigned me as your roommate, from the sound of it you sound pretty hungry which is great! I wanted to invite you out to a buffet I saw on my bus ride to campus for lunch, my treat!' you look at them expectantly waiting for a reply after your word vomit.

After a few minutes of silence and them just staring down at you begin to fidget in place, they just blink at you slowly, looking as if they're debating some as they lift a hand to their mouth and yawn, you fidget a bit more nervously as you see how wide their maw can stretch and see their sharp canines dripping with saliva before their hand drops and their jaw relaxes. Their other hand finds it's way to the back of your shirt and they bring you inside the room before dropping you on a giant beanbag chair, they yawn again "Nnnn fuck it sure, give me a minute, I gotta put on some pants."

Phase one of plan play dumb success! The staff members said your roommate would eat you as soon as they opened the door, but instead you convinced them to a buffet instead, you take your chance to look around the room and your smile drops a little into a look of concern and confusion. There's only one bed. After getting dressed the come out of a bathroom and see your face "what's with you?" They ask sounding a little hostile, you respond by letting your face flush and scratching your cheek with a finger 'u-um well.' their eyes are gazing at you like a hawk 'there's only one bed in the room, this college doesn't really make roommates share a bed do they?' the Predator responds with an unnerving grin "most of my roommates don't last long."

Deflect! Deflect and act cute! You smile at them innocently again and tilt your head 'oh? Did they get kicked out for some reason or something?' their grin gains an aura of menace. "Or something." You put a hand on your chin in thought, 'by the way how do we get to town from campus? Do you have a car or will we be taking a bus to buffet.' their grin drops as they pause for a moment raising their eyebrow, "do you honestly think someone my size can fit in a car? Because the answer is no." You just grin at them 'guess I'll be paying for bus passes too then' they shake their head "naw, the college provides monthly passes, now come on, we'll want to hurry because the next one will leave soon." You look startled before you leap up, 'ok'.

You have trouble keeping up with them as you both run so they quickly turn back pick you up and tuck you under their arm before rushing to the bus stop, they really want that free food you offered, a chance to pig out that they don't have to pay for sounds great to them.

-----------

To saw you were surprised at how much $5 at a buffet could stretch was an understatement, barely half an hour and a tower of plates was stacked on the table you two sat at and as the pred finished their final plate a well dress person came up and banned you both from coming back, as you both stood on the sidewalk you spoke with a stunned look on your face 'i didn't know it was possible to get kicked out of an all you can eat buffet' the pred patted at their large gut "yeah, pity. I'm not even full yet." They pause looking like they're thinking about something again when you spoke again 'what? Seriously? You ate out the entire buffet.' they look towards you again with a strange gaze that you don't even notice and answer.

"I could go for more." You don't even see them reach for you before you turn to them with a mischievous grin while ask them an question that interests them greatly 'wanna see how many buffets we can banned from in a day?' they hesitate, the hand they were about to snatch you up freezes for a second before it reaches down to pat your shoulder instead as they give you a wide grin and an enthusiastic reply "hell yeah." And off you both went to cause as much chaos as possible before you had to go back to campus.

-----

A few hour later and they can barely squeeze themselves out of the doors of the bus as you return to campus, their gut bulging out so large it look as if they ate a moose, the both of you laughing '-i mean the look on that guys face when you snatched up and ate an entire turkey whole as they chased us out was priceless' "pfft yeah but what about the other guy when I ran out of the kitchen with that pot of soup a chugged it?" You both walk towards the dorm 'he looked like he was about to faint! That was right off the stove! Like boiling hot! How in the world did that not burn like you were drinking lava?' "heat resistance is a wonderful thing" they reply grinning from ear to ear.

After they open the door and you're about turn to leave to talk to staff about finishing the dorm paperwork their hand presses against your back a shove you into their room, you don't see a dark look flash across their face for a moment before disappearing, there is an unnerving tone to their voice that gives no room for argument as they speak "hey now, how about we spend a bit more time together?" It doesn't sound like a question but more like an order. Afraid and nervous about what may happen if you say no, you agree.

They hand you a controller and ask in a voice, as if they know exactly how the words sound

"Wanna smash?" 'Hah' you can't help the laugh that comes out, you shouldn't have told them about your weakness to dirty jokes.

----

Time passes fast as you play smash bros together for a while then move on to more multiple play games, you keep noticing they way they glance at you sometimes with a look that scares you, sometimes licking their lips, you notice as time goes by the size of their stomach decreases and the more it does, the more these moments of staring increase.

Their stomach growls a low long sound and you feel like you're sweating as you shiver while a chill shoots down your spine,you speak in a shaky voice as you get up and start walking towards the door 'w-ell t-this has been fun but I have speak to staff about sleeping arrangements as there's not room for me her right now' you open the door a crack before it slams shut, you see the Pred's hand above you and the other engulfs your shoulder, the tone Pred speaks to you in makes your heart stop "oh I have room." Before the spin you around, pinning your arms to your sides as their jaw stretches open and they lift you up , shoving your head inside and swallowing before you can properly process the situation.

The grip of their throat is tight, but the fleshy tube contracts and releases easily as the experienced muscles drag you deeper inside, you snap out your stunned state a futilely kick and squirm , the struggles doing nothing except helping you slide down faster, the Pred groaning at your flavor as they gulp heavily and fast, impatient and greedy they feel they have waited for this long enough. Your head passed through the opening to their stomach and thinking fast you hold your breath, closing your eye as your face is shoved into the pile of half digested remains of the multiple buffets they cleaned out.

You're quickly force inside, curling up you gasp as your head emerges from the slurry of food, it stick to your hair, a foul acidic smell in your nostrils, you barely have the room to move and you start to cry feeling a bit betrayed but your soft sobs can't be heard over the gurgles and groans of the chamber as it continues to work on the food around you.

-----

"Aaah that hit the spot." They plop back down on their beanbag, their gut having grown in size once more, they give it a couple pats then rub it lightly "out of everything I ate today you are definitely the tastiest." They mean that fully, they had been planning to do this since they were first told that staff was going to once again, try to give them a roommate, a freshman this time, you were always going to feed them, they just didn't expect you to do it in more ways than one.

They continue to switch between rubbing and patting their their gut as a thoughtful look crosses their face, they had made up their mind to eat you, nothing you did was ever going to change that, however, what happens afterwards is still up for debate because honestly you are probably the first one staff sent that was actually friendly towards them instead of an entitled jackass , you also took them out and let them stuff themselves till they couldn't eat anymore, they had to wait to digest a bit before they could fit you in too, but even then they had a really good time today with you.

Considering who and what they were it wouldn't take but a second to cast the spell they would need to keep you from being lost inside their stomach forever, hell you might even actually be a good roommate if they give you that chance....a low whiny gurgle sounds from their gut. Whatever their decision is they will need to make it soon, they have about 15 minutes before the acid in their stomach starts to affect you too.