#moreover‚ they're a few years younger than me.

[crescentmp3]

this feels so childish

[tcookies777]

I’m glad to see that you aren’t letting those trolls/haters affect you too much. Has this experience change the way you see the kakasaku fandom or how you feel about the ship? How is it different from sasusaku fandom?

There’s a preview out for Sasuke retsuden episode that you can look at but it’s horrible. The ugly art style you are talking is the one we are getting. Moreover the script writer is the one that hates sakura so he’s gonna add stupid lines that make sakura looks bad again. It’s hopeless already for me so I’m gonna pretend like there’s no anime adaption.

It doesn't affect me as much as it would've had I been a younger, newer writer. But with 10 years under my belt, I'm sad to say I've experienced worse and seen other fanfic writers go through worse as well. I will say though that everyone has their limits, and when a writer gets constant hate and harassment over something they're providing for FREE, they will eventually quit altogether.

Sending hate to a fanfic writer because they're going on break and/or because they didn't write a full sex scene in the 1st of the 4 acts of the story serves to accomplish nothing but motivate the writer to abandon the fic for good.

Want a sex scene? Don't nag the writer for it because all the constant nagging turns us off from wanting to write it anymore. Want the writer to return to the fic sooner? Don't bitch at the writer for taking a break because it makes them want to NEVER return to the fic at all.

And then you get no sex scene as well as a huge cliffhanger forever.

Which is possibly what the haters want?? Otherwise, why would anyone think that bitching at the writer will magically make the writer want to submit to such demands at their own expense? It is so illogical and stupidly counterproductive.

Thus, many fanfics are abandoned and even deleted.

And honestly if it does reach that point, I will abandon and delete TAOL if I have to. I've been forced to do it before, and not just for my sanity but also for my safety. I've since come to understand my boundaries and enforce them when needed.

However, I don't like judging a whole group just because of the behavior of the few, so I don't think it'd be fair of me to look at the KakaSaku fandom or ship in a different light. Besides, every single corner of every single fandom always has some toxic people; that's unavoidable.

In comparison to my experience with writing for the SasuSaku fandom though, my SasuSaku readers are more chill for me if I have to be completely honest. I never had any rude comments when I was working on my SasuSaku fics or got harassed for going on break. All my SasuSaku readers have always been kind and supportive. Not once did I ever get a reader complaining that they have so many questions about the plot's mystery - and there is SO much mystery in When the Flowers Cry than in TAOL. When the Flowers Cry is so much more fun to write because readers just post their theories instead of demanding me to hurry and give them the answers to the plot or hurry up and write sex already.

And whenever I go on break for TAOL, there's always a handful of readers who get pissed at me regardless if my absence is due to surgery or a medical emergency - they get pissed at me no matter what. Meanwhile, I have been on break from both When the Flowers Cry and Cut Me Down but I'll Still Rise for ~2 years now and not one SasuSaku reader has sent hate my way. Not a single one.

So even though I don't look at either fandom groups in a different light, I will say my experience in writing SasuSaku fics and writing KakaSaku fics are so startlingly different from each other that you can probably guess which of the 2 audiences I enjoy writing for more.

As for that damn script writer for the Retsuden anime... I guess that was inevitable too. Still, it maddens me to hear that news. I did watch clips of the anime but it just does not do the novel justice. Years of waiting for the anime to treat Sakura right and I just keep waiting like a fool.

I'll just follow your example and pretend the anime doesn't exist either lol.

I am enjoying the manga but I do feel like the rubble scene with Sakura could have been executed better. I would've liked an extra panel or two depicting Sasuke desperately lifting the rocks to get to Sakura and his hand worn out from digging but maybe I'm just being picky!

P.S. - I'm so sorry for the late reply! I thought I'd posted this but just found out it'd been sitting in my drafts the whole time - so sorry!

[hopefulstarfire]

Day 6 of my valentine ship prompts!!! Y'all I am so excited for this prompt. I've been waiting patiently because I knew exactly who I was using for this and you all know my brain rot for them is REAL.

Prompt 10: Soulmate.

Obviously of course I had to do starcrossedshipping for this. Because they're that. They're THE soul mates out of any ship I have okay. I just love them. I love them a lot.

Previous Prompts

Day One || Two || Three || Four || Five

I hope you guys enjoy!!!

Bakura had met her by chance when they were still children.

A young orphan girl on the streets, trying to find any way to get coin to help her ailing sister, not caring if she herself was able to get any assistance. She turned up her charm, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she came off as sweet as could be. He had seen what she was doing, what she was failing at in this village -- they didn't seem to care much to offer a kind hand to a random child -- and, by all accounts, he shouldn't have helped. He had to worry about fending for himself out there in the world as he trained to get stronger.

Yet, even still, he stole two extra loaves of bread for her. He didn't know at the moment if her ailing sister story held any weight to it; he didn't until she offered to let him come over and he saw the older girl. They had no parents, only each other, their parents having been taken and possibly killed, accused of crimes they did not commit.

He felt a kinship towards them. He told himself that was why he kept coming back to them every day, using the chance of stealing food and medicine as a way to train himself as a thief. Even then, his Kema still tried to deposit any spare coin she had when he did, to try and help others who were suffering; and Gods did she get upset when he tried to steal some beautiful little trinket for her to wear, as somebody worked hard on those.

The sisters had become his world.

Then, he had to leave town for a few days, being tested by the very Dark God that offered him the chance for vengeance; something he wished later that he wouldn't have done. For, when he came back, Safiyyah was buried and her younger sister was gone, taken for her potential in magic.

He didn't see Kema again until years later, when he had become a man. No, he had become more than a man; he was the King of Thieves himself.

And she was a priestess in the Pharaoh's court.

That had cut like a knife.

He came to her in the dead of night, luring her out of palace walls for answers. She had told him that after her sister died, she'd displayed a great deal of magical potential and this had been noticed by members of the Pharaoh's inner circle. She didn't have much choice in joining their ranks as a student and later high priestess and magician; and, moreover, where did she have left to go? She was alone in the world, with no telling of when the only person she had left would be back. She wanted to wait for him but they whisked her away before she even had time to try and leave an explanation for him to find.

"Would you have stayed if you could?" He asked her, his tone strained. "If I had come back sooner, or if you had an option, would you have chosen me and not the damned nobility?"

In any other case, it would be a selfish question to ask. She had been able to have food and shelter consistently there. She has probably been treated well due to her gifts.

Her hands found his face all the same, her touch as gentle and soothing as he remembered.

"In every lifetime I have, in any and every point of time, until the end of days, I would choose you every single time," she promised and her voice was honey to him. 'I've wanted nothing more than to be by your side again for the rest of my life."

That was the night he told her the truth about his quest; of the Kul Elna massacre and the horrors the royal family and their soldiers had wrought. He told her of his mission, his drive and the dealings he was making to bring those responsible to justice. If there was one person in this world he felt he could trust, it was her.

She proved him right.

Her hand found his, even as a look of pain crossed her face at the revelation; for both the agony she knew it had to have caused him and for the realization that the man who had taken her to the court, had set her up with her lessons and had promised her a future place within the court, of a hand in marriage she didn't truly want, was the very man who had robbed him of his world.

Even still, she swore to him she would fight by his side and act as a spy on the inside.

That night led to many firsts for them, but none had been more important to him than their first kiss and the first utterances of I love you.

She was his queen, his wife, from then on. It didn't matter they had no home to move into together and make it official, but he promised they would. Once his quest was complete, once the spirits of his people could know rest, and the damned Pharaoh and Aknadin and the rest of that despicable court were dead and devoured by Ammit, they could put everything else behind them and move elsewhere. They would have a home, live the life together that they deserved; one free of strife, free of anguish and struggle, one their future children could blossom in and that they could grow old and weary in together.

Their plan would take time. He needed to gather his resources, strengthen his numbers and his connection to both Diabound and to Zorc. She needed to find the perfect night to strike, plot the perfect routes and gather everything she could on their targets, namely any changes to their routines or to see if they would slip and let their guard down around her or place further confidence in her. Aknadin wanted her to inherit one of the Items; if she could secure one, that would make one step easier.

They played their cards right. He waited for the night to rob the tomb, on the day before some grandiose event or another where the Pharaoh would hold his court. He displayed his skill, made his intention known, made fools of his court (and especially that damned Priest Set; he knew of the intentions Aknadin had for Kema and him). Having to face the Gods wasn't something he prepared for, but it had been a challenge he nevertheless faced with courage. Kema had her duties; perform her magic to try and weaken their defenses from the shadows, to keep them stumbling and keep a route secured for him to break into the palace later.

Their plans were going well. They were showing promise; they had a chance to reach their goals and it was just within reach.

...He shouldn't have gone for the Ring. He shouldn't have gone back into the tomb to fight off against the stray priest and take the Item.

She had run to get there and stop him. She was determined to save him. She had gotten into the tomb before it was sealed, waiting in the shadows to see what would become of the battle. Kema always had faith he could work things out and come out on top, but it never stopped her from worrying nor did it keep her from wanting to protect him from more damage done to him.

He was reckless.

Everything had crumbled around them and she made sure he got out after he fell, before everything tumbled down completely. She shoved him out to where he needed to survive and when he tried to reach out for her, to pull her --

"If one of us survives this, habibi, I'd rather it be you."

He hadn't screamed that loudly or in such a deep anguish since after the soldiers left Kul Elna. Losing her was the pain that caused him to begin to fully lose himself to the darkness that Zorc and the items promised him.

°°°

3000 years. 3000 years and he didn't think he'd find her again. The Items had been locked up, guarded, kept out of the hands of most for that long; no one dared to put on the Ring, even as knowledge of what was held inside of it disappeared entirely.

Ryou Bakura was nothing more than a vessel for him to now have to grow into, but, he served his purposes. Meeting Yugi and the gang years later served him the knowledge that the time to re attempt his plans soon.

He worked even harder; after all, he had millennia to strategies strategies come up with an alternative way to win. It served as motivation to keep his spirit strong. The Zorc side of his personality was quite pleased by this and the side of him that was still truly Bakura had become numb; all that mattered at that point was getting vengeance and ending everything.

Then he found her.

She looked different, but, then again, it was a new life. He didn't know how many she had to have cycled through, nor could he know if she truly had waited for him in every lifetime and if it had caused a lonely heart.

Her long brown hair draped down her back, a pink ribbon hanging in from the side. She dressed in pinks and creams, a golden locket with roses hanging proudly around her neck while a German Shepherd stood at attention to guard her. Freckles danced across her cheeks and her nails were perfectly manicured.

But those green eyes he'd fallen for were still the same, as was the smile that graced her lips and that heavenly voice of hers.

His Kema was back to him, only now she went by Kat.

If he had a pulse, it would be going 800 miles a second and his heart would clench. He didn't think it was possible. Yet, there she was, defying anything considered impossible.

The Zorc half of him was growing frustrated.

The Bakura side of him, the real him, longed to hold her in his arms and kiss her over and over again.

Night came quickly after she joined with their little group. He waited until everyone was distracted and slipped into control unnoticed. All it took was asking her for help and, next thing she'd know, they were quite a ways away from their camp.

"Ryou?" She asked, stepping closer. "Ryou, are you sure you're okay?"

"Never better," he admitted. The hair began to spike up, his eyes, usually full of anger, softened and he held out his hand. She still hadn't figured it out yet and he couldn't be sure she ever would. But it would never stop him.

He takes her hand and kisses it; there's a look of confusion that crosses her face, but a flash of something in her eyes; like her brains trying to push her to remember what once was. "Hello, rouhy."

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

ok so this post is like spawned from reading the notes on an age gaps in relationships post, that I just read while waking up today....

I think a big part of the discourse around age gaps in relationships is spurned on by again, the fuckin stupid ass elder millennials vs younger millennials (or even zillennials) and gen z bullshit "war". it's like, in the post I made like last month about a convo at my old work's staff christmas party in 2022, where one of the ladies in the finance team and the newish guy hired in my team (customer service)..... which was all about her being a 1989 millennial "just before the cusp of the 90s so I'm a REAL MILLENNIAL unlike you two (me and new emo guy who are 1995 (me) and 1997 (I think, emo guy)).... you fake-ass wannabe millennials. you're babies!!!! YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH ME!!!!" like yes we do, sadie. and i'm the cut-off for millennials in 1995. but I digress.

but to me, it's the elder millennials like this woman and even comedians (ie the elder millennial netflix standup special from iliza shelsinger whose 40 but was done in 2017 or whatever) who are breeding the idea that people in their mid 20s, born in the mid to late 90s are "uwu cute lil babies who i have NOTHING in common with, so therefore you are a child (and everyone else your age by extension are children), to me." in age gap relationship discourse.

like sadie, for the love of fuck. there is 6 years difference in age between us. you may be in you mid 30s, yes. so you obvs have a bit more life experience than me, in general.... and actually went through 9/11, possibly understanding the implications of it (which I didn't bc I was literally 5/6 years old in 2001 when it happened; but I still knew what the fuck it was... even though yes, we're aussie.... but this is always used as the major event that younger millennials are "too young to understand and that therefore means that they're not real millennials")..... and again, you really experienced y2k fashion properly; whereas I watched it unravel on TV. but that does NOT make me child, incapable of making my own decisions, according to you. apparently emo guy doesn't know what rent is..... when he was actively moving out of his rented place to move in with his girlfriend's parents (one of whom, we all worked with)???? like make up your mind.

but from the comedian side, particularly the iliza shelsinger special that im talking about, it's the insinuation that as a 1995 baby and the people just under me, like emo guy, have NO IDEA what a landline is???? and that again makes us babies.... children who don't know the ways of the world before our all-knowing smartphones, which are connected to our hands like edward scissorhands. again, of course i know what the fuck a landline is!!!!!! I used one up until about 2009??? when my friends finally started to get their mobiles. of course, it means that I didn't have my own private landline (and hamburger phone, thanks juno) to my own room, which was an expensive must-have, that very people few would have ACTUALLY HAD, in the 2000s.... bc by that time, cordless phones were a thing anyway. and the age gap between me and this comedian is 12 years. she's just turned 40, born in 1983. so, therefore, again, I am but a babe. a mere naive lamb in the world of more knowledgeable, wiley wolves. but you're in your 20s!!!! you DON'T KNOW THE HORROR!!! yes i do!!!! i fully do. bc we literally JUST GOT RID OF OUR LANDLINE PHONE LAST YEAR, IN 20 FUCKING 22!!!!! don't you dare tell me i don't know what it is.

moreover, bro. I am 20 fucking 8 (well, nearly). I turn 30 in two years time. yes, I may have never moved out of home (lol fucked up rental crisis.... and everything else, where the world is falling apart).... but I do pay my own car insurance and car loan (finally). hell!!!!! i BOUGHT my own car last year.... even if it wasn't fully in cash lol. I may have only had my first ever ~real adult~ job last year (kinda... and first job ever, period).... but that doesn't make me a child. I am still an adult, capable of making my own choices.... even if one of my choices is utterly refusing to date people... like, ever.... due to my horrendous past experiences with guys in my late teens. "but!!! but!! both of these women croon, YOU ARE STILL A CHILD! YOU HAVE HOPE!!! UNLIKE MY JADED ASS!!!" yeah. nah. my hope for the future fizzled out years ago. maybe not emo guy's. but mine defs has. and why is feeling jaded like a weird fucking milestone and badge of honour to wear???

in my actual life, one of my primary school best friends just divorced her high school sweetheart a couple of months ago. due to the guy changing his mind on having kids (ie he started wanting them, but he works one week one/one week off and fly in/fly out in the mines.... and since they were in another state, South Australia, they had NO family or friends to help my besite with the kid that she didn't even really want.... and he didn't want to do 50% of the housework and mental work for them). she owns a fucking house and pays house insurance. she works a high-powered government job in sydney now. my other primary school bestie, ironically, just got married to her uni sweetheart, and they're renting in the fucked up rental hellscape that is sydney. we all drive. we all have cars... even if I did take forever to get my full licence and my own car.

what, in any part of the above paragraph, is not a wiley adult wolf, just like both of these 80s babies think that they are???? both of these women who I've mentioned in this post would've had these conversations with past partners, and obviously with their current partners (the comedian had a kid in late 2022 I think, and the woman from work had like 2 or 3 kids, for example). they both own houses etc etc.

I fail to see how 90s kids are "uwu babies" in the eyes of elder millennials.... other than they're making that excuse to treat us like kids when it comes to dating someone with..... a let's say.... 5 to 12 year age difference, at the minimum. why would a 1983 or 1987 or 1990 "elder millennial" date a 1995 zillenial/baby millennial/cusper/whatever the fuck we're called, when *cue the "if she doesn't know X/what X is she's too young for you bro (or chick)! meme*... like "if she doesn't know what *enter a random 80s show here that an 80s kid grew up on* is, then she's too young for you, bro!!!

like who gives a fuck if I have never fucking watched idek Cheers or family ties or ALF or Fraiser (for early 90s) or whatever the fuck else???? maybe I didn't watch them bc I was literally fucking 2 years old??? so i was too young for the re-runs of these shows from 1997 onwards??? I was just vibing with rainbow brite (80s cartoon), dino riders (which was a short-lived 80s cartoon), the disney's gummi bears (late 80s cartoon) and every winnie the pooh movie and power rangers show or movie under the sun. oh, and of course, fucking Lion King and other 90s disney movies! that are all getting those godawful nostalgia cash grab live-action remakes that NO ONE has asked for, really. that for some reason, a lot of 80s babies seem to claim as theirs, and only theirs, for nostalgia and "disney adult" points. i also watched pokemon on VHS!!!! SHOCK!! HORROR!! I KNOW WHAT A VHS IS!!! (and we still have them).

just. my point is. i think some of the age gap discourse, if it's not about like power dynamics/abuse and whatever else.... is coming from this dumb as fuck generational divide of self-declared "elder millennials" who are now nearing 40 or are 40; or somewhere in their mid30s, trying to be so over-superior over the 20 somethings born in the mid to late 90s. (and now early 2000s kids, SHOCK!!! HORROR!!!- gen z... but i get this sometimes im ngl. the fuck you mean the young lawns guy who i had a short-lived crush on last year at work IS 20 FUCKING ONE (21)???? NO. NO IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!! IT- IT- IT CAN. NOT. BE. FUCKING. HAPPENING????!!!!).

just for the love of fuck. get over this utter bullshit about "millennials are the best babies!!!!" bullshit and STOP infantilizing grown ass adults (even if i personally actively NEVER feel like one tbh lmao) just because of an utter bullshit arbitrary age classification used for marketing and sociological research purposes only..... and only because there's between a 6 (for the lady i know) to about 12 year age gap (the comedian) between an 80s baby and a mid 90s baby. we are of the same generation... and we can have successful relationships with people born in the 80s/elder millennials, despite the age gaps. not that i've had one personally lmao. but we all know someone with an older partner or friend or whatever.

but i'm also thinking about it since there's the debate around chris evans finally marrying alba bapitista. when he's 42 (so gen x but who gives a fuck)... but she's 26 (a zillennial) and a college grad.... so apparently SHE has NO rational decision making skills at the baby age of 26. and also around joe jonas divorcing sophie turner.... where he's using his age (34) against hers (27) as a reason to divorce her bc he's "more responsible" than her (eg. he's forced to look after HIS kids while HE is on tour in the US.... while sophie parties after wrapping up a tv show she's been working in the UK on for like 6 months to a year and also finally working.... after taking 2 to 3 years off for her kids and pregnancies.... and the uh.... GLOBAL PANDEMIC????), and bs like that. it's just making me gag tbh.

[neillien]

Untitled | story section from no place like Home. February 2019 …

So   … I dreamed I met Judy Garland [she’d aged] but then she always looked haggard to me - older people generally do, don't they? Especially when you're a boy thinking about age gaps, looking at grown-ups! Startled by their misery, scared of it. Let's just say today, Judy looked her worse and then bad some. How we met is by pure coincidence in the suburbs of the Emerald City, there was no technicolour, only squalor, no signifier of any importance other than Judy and the shambles of Oz fallen into dereliction.. The whole place looked pretty disgusting. Smelt rancid. The yellow brick road tarred-over. The little dog Toto had been dead years. I stood with Judy at the cairn terrier’s graveside. Its Tin man's axe crudely substituted for a gravestone, it's then when I realise we're in the apple orchard which wasn’t as it had once been. Not as it is presented in the film. A bypass cut through most the land. Cars and trucks roar by trailing flumes of polluted air. A few remaining trees are blighted, coppiced, half gone. Horrible, prescient tree-voices lay hold of my weakening attention. They sound like ghosts in my head, I try to ignore them; get immersed in my scene with Judy, try not to be scared. We, my newest buddy Judy and me, we're mourning the immemorial Toto. But easily distracted, I notice it might rain. Bad air permeates and a miasma risen from the soil, which drew my attention away. My junkie Judy was in thrall to a song. Judy sung of exploitative men; it dragged on a lot. I grew impatient. Wanted to go. I was like; ‘yes, yes, …show me something good: show me off. I might wake up any minute,’ but Judy carried on crooning, lost to her own voice. I felt lour cries, thrumming with murderous intentions …At some point during the singing I've involuntarily grabbed the Tin man's axe from the graveside, realising this only when beginning to scrape salient clumps of hard plastic from my sleeve. I spit red shards of plastic that hurt my throat, make me cough, followed by tiny brass cogs which taste rhythmical, if taste were to rhyme it would taste sweet like I have a sonnet regurgitating. I think I was throwing up my own timepiece heart that also stopped long ago. Now nestled closely, Judy and me lovingly wept for Toto.  When the crying dried. I turned to Judy and ask courageously, ever so nicely, ‘May I try the Ruby-Slippers on, you know, just for size, they're so iconic?’ BAM! A flash technicolour moment. Judy comes back as her younger self … moreover as the sweet, self-effaced, polite Dorothy dressed in her spotless gingham dress… Judy had been wearing a creased silk, off the shoulder evening dress and pearls: ‘Oh yes! Says Judy/Dorothy all southernly, blustery, [that kid had the dynamics of a tornado in her throat]  '…why of course, of course.’ So, we slip off our shoes and swap them over. Laughing as Judy squeezes into my Nike trainers.  The Ruby-Slippers are soon on my feet, a size too big, …but divine , I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I cry ‘Oh Dorothy … Don’t please…! [I think Judy is about to cry, again] Please don’t believe in friendship, luck. Don't believe in love either. Honestly, don’t give a fuck. [Judy looks rattled, sad as fuck] Believe me there isn't anyone who cares. I don't - most of all. Think for a second… ['ve really warmed to my monologue] think how the good witch Glinda warned you… ‘ Keep the power of the slippers to yourself…’ she cautioned you Dorothy. NO Judy, don’t look at me like that, don't give me that look of consternation. The Ruby-Slippers are all I ever wanted.  And, now they're on my feet.

…Fuck-off.’

Judy’s face, dropped-dead. I pushed old Judy faghag from my floorspace   … I swirl to the upbeat tempo of Lizzo's latest hit, clicked my heels, sashay through the throng of dancing men: NEWSFLASH … The young and unaccompanied take precedence on the dancefloor, bitch.  

[mashounen1945]

No, I'm not hyped for Tails in the Sonic 2 movie

I’m already calling it: in the upcoming Sonic 2 live-action movie, Tails isn’t gonna have a major role at all, we're not gonna get Tails hilariously getting fed up and pulling out a literal gun [EDIT: I ended up being wrong about that one little detail, he used a laser handgun for a while during the final battle, but still...], Tails isn't gonna do anything awesome... and that shouldn't really surprise anyone. I’m not saying it because of what SEGA did with him in Sonic Forces, nor because of Paramount turning the inevitable "Sonic vs Knuckles" fight (which should have been reserved for Sonic 3, instead of shoehorning both Tails’s and Knux’s 1st appearances into Sonic 2) into the cornerstone of the movie’s entire ad campaign.

In this post, I'll share some meditations I did on the Sonic 2 movie -and the Sonic series' future in general- and the state of the Sonic fandom over the last few months. It's a bit messy and I wrote it down without planning it properly in advance, but I hope that won't be too much of a problem.

The Sonic 06 fiasco started the Sonic fandom's well-known tendency to despise "Sonic's shitty friends". We've all seen that in action at least once, right? Sonic 4 was even made partly in response to that, with SEGA using "Sonic is the only playable character" as a selling point.

Back then, if all Sonic characters except Sonic and Eggman had been erased from canon overnight, half the fandom would have celebrated and the other half wouldn't have even cared.

This hatred for the Sonic expanded cast is pretty much gone now: everyone at least appreciates all the characters (at least the ones from the games) and recognizes their roles and potential. However, a huge portion of the Sonic fandom likes those characters only when they stay in these very specific roles; if they develop and get out of there as a result, they lose their charm, they're just not the same anymore, they're no longer the characters people became Sonic fans for

[There are a few exceptions, of course. SEGA's been very eager to portray Shadow like the Saiyan Saga's version of Vegeta in the last dozen years (no, 2010s SEGA Shadow doesn't feel like a flanderized Sasuke to me); meanwhile, fans and the Archie comics (yeah, crazy, I know) imagined a more caring, altruistic, undoubtedly heroic Shadow, more in line with his portrayal in Sonic Adventure 2 or Sonic Battle or his story in Sonic 06.]

One of the cases where this is more evident is Tails.

After 2006, and especially after Ken Pontac & Warren Graff became the Sonic games' writers, there'd be a lot of nostalgic Adventure/2000s Sonic fans (me included, I must admit) longing for the halcyon days when characters other than Sonic had their own arcs and development. Now, I have to be brutally honest about this: in hindsight, not much was done with them in the actual canon and official material in those few years right after the Adventure saga, or even in both Adventure titles (but hey, at least they were still playable, that had to count for something... Right?).

But now? In 2022? New fans see all those characters, in much less prominent roles... and still feel inspired by them, exactly the way they're officially portrayed nowadays.

Moreover, as an unexpected result of the way SEGA recently handled the Sonic series, younger fans don't necessarily see Sonic as a series with compelling, engaging, deep stories with lots of stakes; instead, they see Sonic as something more akin to what JRR Tolkien sought to create with Lord of the Rings (and I guess I could include the Chronicles of Narnia books and movies here, though they were written by someone else entirely): an escape from today's real world, increasingly chaotic, cruel and nonsensical, and the younger fans' personal lives, usually plagued with uncertainty or even some form of family abuse and bigotry. But for this entire thing to work, all the characters need to remain static, it's imperative that they stay in their assigned roles forever; otherwise, the illusion would be broken, the story's morals and any uplifting message would be lost, its magic would be wasted, it'd be no longer an escape, it'd all become too painfully real (too "edgy", if you will).

What does this mean regarding Tails? Well... People love Tails! Fans see his brotherly friendship with Sonic as the most beautiful, wholesome thing ever (truth be told, I dunno if they're right on the "the most" part, but they're right on everything else). The way Tails is always trying his best is inspiring; when using his intelligence & his talent with machinery to help his friends, Tails still inspires specifically kids with that same kind of tastes & affinities; "Believe In Myself" and all that (it certainly had that effect on me). However, this can be interpreted in many ways, and Tails staying in the background, not participating in the action itself, only using his smarts & not being badass at all but still being happy in that place, fits the currently most popular interpretation of that message:

"You can always help in whatever way feels best to you. You only need to trust in what you can do without worrying about the way others perceive you. You don't need to be typically badass in order to do what you want & be worthy of your friends' love."

A powerful message indeed, especially in these trying times...

But what if Tails develops out of his role? What if he actively fights & specifically believes in his skills to fight? What if he finally overcomes his fears once and for all, instead of staying on this endless "overcome & relapse" cycle? What if he's playable again? Then the message would lose all its meaning: Tails would become just Nerd Sonic; their friendship would no longer include the complementarity between them, the exquisite balance, the finesse... Essentially, what made many fans love both characters.

That's why, if you propose the characters be portrayed and develop like in the Adventure saga, most Sonic fans don't take that very well and even suspect your intentions: it's an age everyone had agreed to forget, an age when some portrayals & relationships went far from what they were supposed to be.

Now, Sonic Forces is heavily criticized for Tails's role in its story, or more precisely, for that one scene at the beginning where he cowers at Chaos 0's appearance even though he had fought Chaos 4 and had also overcome his fears time and time again. But then we revisit Forces, look at what Tails did after that one scene, and...

Yeah, something's not right here.

(Seriously, go read this. I still don't like Forces as a whole, but I must give credit to @randomthefox for doing such a damn good job and being so detailed and examining dozens upon dozens of dialogue lines on all cutscenes.)

It turns out Tails cowering at Chaos 0 was actually him "regressing" after thinking Sonic was dead for six months, and right after that, Tails's role was vital to the entire story and he got his confidence back without him ever fighting directly. This fits perfectly with the message the fandom at large currently interprets from Tails's role.

[This crap is still not perfect, though. First of all: before Forces, Tails had already taken Sonic for dead once in Sonic Adventure 2, he had visibly felt guilty for falling into Eggman's mind games and revealing the Chaos Emerald was fake, and yet Tails had got his s*** together and fought Eggman right then and there (I mean, it's obvious there's always some wacky shōnen anime logic going on in every Sonic story and that may or may not include the flow of time acting strange or the story having weird pacing, but how long did it take for Tails to react and missile the f*** out of Eggman after he locked Sonic in the pod and ejected him into space?); if we're gonna recognize SA1 as canon by involving Chaos in any capacity, then we have to recognize SA2 as canon as well; besides, I'd really like to know whether this "regression" thing could actually work like that in real life. Secondly: I'm sure that, after 7 years and 3 games, Pontac & Graff finally learned what Sonic was about and how to write Sonic stories (after all, Sonic's and Eggman's personalities and Sonic's & Tails's friendship were okay in Sonic Lost World), so they totally knew what they were doing with that Chaos 0 scene at the beginning, and they still added that scene just for the f***ing lolz and its meme potential. But... baby steps.]

Nostalgic Adventure saga fans immediately reacted by pointing out that infamous Chaos 0 scene, not even trying to watch any other cutscene after that point or listening to any line of the dialogues between Tails and Eggman during boss fights. That reaction, such a level of intransigence, crushed what was left of the reputation of any early 2000s Sonic fan.

Do you see those "Gohan fans" in the Dragon Ball community? You know which Dragon Ball fans I'm talking about: the ones who think Gohan was shafted by Akira Toriyama, was stagnant right after the Cell Games, should have kept fighting and growing stronger afterwards, and was made dirty during the second half of Dragon Ball Z and all of the Dragon Ball Super anime; the people who despise Gohan having a stable, normal family life and happily following his vocation as a scholar, even though this is what Gohan always wanted; the fans who think Gohan was actually better in the DBSuper manga where Toyotarō "made him great again", even though Toyotarō's work narratively makes no sense, his version of Gohan was slowly turning into Vegeta (who also sucks in Toyotarō's manga), and Gohan also "stopped being relevant" after a while in the DBSuper manga anyway.

Well, now the early 2000s Sonic fandom has become the equivalent of those obsessive "Gohan fans", even behaving precisely the same as them sometimes, adding fuel to the fire and making the 2010s Sonic games' stories criticism-proof in the process. From most Sonic fans' perspective, this is an "Us vs Them" thing: "Us, the appreciative and tolerant fans who truly care for the story and its messages on a deeper level, appreciate modern Sonic official content because of that and care for the characters, their portrayals' consistency and the allegories they represent" versus "Them, the nostalgics who overthink trivial details, obsess over power scaling and making their own favourite characters the new protagonists, are easily fooled by flashy battles, bright colours, blatant wish-fulfilment or power fantasies for nerds, and only see Sonic and its cast as hollow entities or cardboard cut-outs to project themselves on".

And if you suggest ways for the franchise to give Tails a little more attention or you hint at anything even vaguely akin to a "badass Tails", a sizable chunk of the rest of the Sonic fandom outside of that niche group of Sonic Adventure nostalgics reacts like this:

"Tails being a more active fighter? That's silly! He's useful for his brains, that's his entire raison d'être."

"Sonic depending on Tails and even admitting it out loud? Don't be such a baby-boomer! Sonic would never grovel and give away his freedom like that."

"Tails switching roles with Sonic, defending Sonic, unleashing his own anger and fighting for Sonic because they're such good friends for each other? Tails is the cutie here! He's too good for that. Go back to your Zack Snyder crap and its grimdork 'serious' 'realistic' heroes."

"Tails being known as a hero by everyone else? The other characters coming out and listing reasons why he's such an awesome person? Tails is supposed to be humble and modest, it'd not feel right! Go back to write your sloppy Tails-centred harem fanfiction, you insecure neckbeard."

"Tails starring his own game? Where he outright kills everyone in his path? That can't be true! I'm sure it was some Chinese bootleg. Here, have 6 batteries for your dirty Game Gear, go play Sonic Blast or some other s*** and stop being an annoying brat."

*sigh* The moral of this long-ass rant I've just thrown up? Uhh...

Don't expect Tails to do anything awesome, or have any "badass moment", either on the Sonic 2 movie or any piece of official Sonic content on any media after that. Badass Tails is outdated already, no one likes it now, and no one wanna pay money -or even pirate official content- for that anymore.

[PS: Colleen O'Shaughnessey deserves better.]

[heybeybey]

and it was your heart on the line

Rating: Explicit

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Word Count: 8,706

Summary: Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum. Pressured to continue the Ackerman line, Levi is forced to choose between his commitment to giving meaning to his comrades' deaths or sacrificing the future of the woman who have always been devoted to him.

(Anon Ask | AO3 Link)

(It's also Smutty Saturday so here, have smut + ANGST. MOSTLY ANGST THO)

It's been a month since he learned about his true relation to Kenny.

Two weeks since he, Hange and Erwin traced his Ackerman ancestry.

A week since they found out what his last name means and how inhuman his strength truly is.

And two days since he received that fucking memo.

Captain Levi Ackerman,

We were recently made aware of the extent of your capabilities. After much discussion in the court, we believe that you will be doing humanity a great service by continuing the Ackerman line.

We look forward to your cooperation.

A great service his ass.

A few days ago, he, Erwin and Hange found out that the Ackerman line used to be the bodyguards of the royal family in the past and that the reason why they were so skilled is because they are titans in human form. They were then persecuted for shit knows what and the whole clan scattered throughout the walls in the past hundred years.

It also turns out that this ability is accessible to all Ackermans. They haven't found out if it's automatically passed down but Levi noted that there was a time when he felt something jolt in him when faced in a life or death situation (which was almost a daily basis for him back in the Underground).

Now, they want to reinstate the line to help the military progress.

The way Levi sees it, the government basically wants him to breed as if he's a cow in a nobleman's farm.

Levi ignores the memo for the next few days and when they sent a follow up for his reply, he didn't hesitate in telling them to fuck off. That's when things went south.

Turns out, it wasn't a request. It was an order. If he denies again, then it's an ultimatum.

They argued that the captain's citizenship above ground is tethered to his role in the Scouts. Denying this request would be taken as an act of insubordination, no matter how much Erwin forgives the said "offense". Moreover, it's an insult to the crown.

The greedy fucks from the top brass gave him two weeks or he'll be kicked back down to the Underground. Since he's the only known Ackerman, he can't push this responsibility on someone else's plate.

- - -

Only his Special Operations team were made aware of the situation. Erwin said that his squad deserves to know why their captain might be out of commission for at least a week... or why he'd possibly be kicked out of the scouts soon.

Levi silently took in the horror on their faces when he broke the news.

"Captain, are they even allowed to do that?"

"That's just... sick."

"Maybe there's a way to delay it for a few more years, sir?"

The only one who didn't speak up was Petra. She just watched the four men converse, with Levi and Eld discussing what the next steps are in case the captain will be leaving the scouts.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in all of their mouths. Survey Corps without Captain Levi? They can only see their success rates getting knocked down further. At the same time, they also don't know which decision to support, knowing that the captain will be sacrificing himself either way.

- - -

Petra has been spacing out since that day. Sometimes, her squad needed to snap her out of it during trainings. She'd been a total recluse, rarely joining them at the dining table during their morning coffee. She'd still bring the captain's tea late at night but other than that, she looks more like a ghost floating around in their squad's side of the floor. They think it's heartbreak since her admiration for the captain is already an open secret between the five of them. No one would've even imagined what she was planning.

She was able to snap herself out of it two days after, and now she's barging into Commander Erwin's office during lunch time.

"Commander Erwin, there must be another way," Petra pleads. She rarely goes to Erwin's office alone and if she's here right now, the captain must've not been aware that his subordinate would approach this topic straight with the commander.

Erwin sighs. "Ms. Ral, I appreciate your concern for the captain. Believe me, I've personally reached out to Zackley regarding this. There's nothing much I can do. I've already swayed Levi's citizenship to our favor once."

It also doesn't help that the government sees the Scouts as the most useless of all three military branches. Learning about how powerful Levi truly is was the only thing that reignited their belief in their regiment after five consecutive failed expeditions and thousands of coins wasted.

The commander looks at Petra and he can tell from her face that the gears are turning in her head. He frowns, having an inkling of what her next words will be. Erwin knows how loyal Petra is to her captain. It's something that the commander himself leveraged and exploited during expeditions.

"Would... if I do it, will that...?"

Erwin's face softens, meeting her eyes in concern. If they were to ask for his opinion as commander, it would be a waste if they allow Petra to take the responsibility. She's one of the best soldiers in the corps and her ability to sync with any team they place her in was an asset that you wouldn't find in any other soldier.

But as Levi's friend, he'd rather not order the captain around when it comes to this matter. The part of him who's committed to humanity's survival knows what the right answer is to Levi's situation, and he knows the captain will choose what will always be best for his soldiers.

"Petra, you know that Levi wouldn't allow it."

"But does it even matter what we think anymore? Commander, they're going to take the captain away from us."

Erwin is quiet for a moment, careful eyes assessing how serious Petra truly is. "Are you sure about this Petra?"

"You know I'll do anything for our cause." Adamant and unwavering. Levi chose well.

Erwin nods. "I'll talk to Zackley what it will mean if the captain chooses a subordinate instead of a commoner. Normally, sleeping with your commanding officer would lead to a dishonourable discharge."

Petra flinches at that.

"But... we can all agree that this is a different case."

- - -

Petra comes to Levi that night. At first, he just assumed it's their usual evening tea time.

"I-I talked to Commander Erwin this morning," she starts, setting down his tea on the desk. He glances back at her for a moment before turning back to his paperwork.

"What about?" Levi said. "You do know that if you have a concern, you can also tell me. I'm the one responsible for you."

"It's not a concern," she replies quickly. "Well... it is but-"

Her hesitance finally stops him. "Since when have you held back whenever we have tea together, Petra?"

"Captain... I-I can..."

He doesn't turn his chair around, waiting for Petra to speak.

"I'm saying that if it will greatly serve humanity, I'm willing to have-," she gulps, pushing the fear from her face to look at him determinedly. "I'm willing to be the one to help you continue the Ackerman bloodline."

Levi's grateful his back was turned. If it wasn't, Petra would've seen how his slanted eyes widened with horror and concern at her words. He feels a headache starting to come along, and he schools his face before finally turning around, assessing hers. His heart fell when he finds that she somehow looks both determined and scared at the same time.

"No."

Petra deflates a little bit at that, seemingly both relieved and hurt from the rejection.

"Please captain, I don't want you to be forced out of the Survey Corps. The scouts need you. I-" She cuts herself off at that, but her silence was loud. He'd known for a while now the depth of Petra's devotion.

"Petra, are you even aware of what you're offering?"

"Of course I know!" She snaps, so unlike her to disrespect her captain outright. "Captain, I wouldn't have offered myself if I'm not aware of what I'll be giving up."

"Then you're fucking stupid for even wanting to go through with this. We don't even know how many they're demanding from me."

He stands up from his chair and grabs her upper arm in a bruising grip, almost desperate to get his point across. "You'll be forced to leave the Scouts, give up your career to take care of a-"

It's rare for him to be speechless, and he finds that the word baby can't even pass through his mouth these days.

"Sir, I just want to help..." Petra says quietly, gaze averted.

"This is not up for debate Petra." He looks at her coldly. "Leave."

"But captain-" He lets her arm go. Petra's expressive round eyes are starting to tear up.

"I said get out."

He watches her hurry out, trying to ignore the fact that she was furiously wiping her eyes as she leaves.

- - -

They went out for an expedition one morning and Levi was somewhat grateful for the distraction.

Reality only came crashing down on him again when he'd watched another soldier die. He seemed new and young, looking more like a cadet than an actual soldier. Probably fresh out of the training corps but died way too soon because he chose the wrong regiment. If Levi remembers correctly, this was one of the newer scouts who had the guts to approach him with bright and eager eyes and asked for advice.

"What's your name?" Levi asks the soldier. He kneels down beside the younger man.

"E-Ethan, sir," the soldier rasps. Levi silently nods in acknowledgement. He looks up, finding Petra tending to a fatally injured scout. Eld and Gunther was assisting a female veteran who lost a leg. He can't seem to find Oluo anywhere.

"C-Captain..." Ethan struggles with his words and Levi can see how his gaze is starting to lose focus.

"I'll avenge your sacrifice, Ethan." Levi says as he holds the young boy's bloody hand, hearing him take his last breath. "I promise you that."

Levi apologizes to Petra in his own way as they wrap up the expedition. He approaches her as she was about to mount her horse.

"Petra." She looks to him with teary eyes. She does this after every expedition, crying for all the fallen soldiers as her own way of commemorating their sacrifice.

"Yes, sir?" she replies in a gentle voice, as if he didn't just make her cry two nights before.

Levi hands her a white handkerchief. "Here."

She blinks up at him for a bit but accepts his offer. He never says sorry outright, but he and Petra have always had this way of communicating where words aren't needed to be said.

They were running out of time. Levi tried to take his mind off the problem by training until his own body gives up on him. A huge part of him have already accepted that he'll be marched back down to that shithole by the end of the week.

Hell, he already packed up the limited possessions that he has.

"Levi, you know this is for the scouts. Losing you would mean losing a battalion for the Survey Corps," Erwin argued.

"Are you asking me to force a woman to become the government's baby making machine?" Levi snaps. "Because that's sick as fuck Erwin!"

Hange told him once that there was a major decrease in the scouts' death toll since he joined. Levi didn't want to believe at first that a single soldier was enough to make that much of a difference, but Hange's numbers was more than enough proof. Since he joined, they didn't need to send 10 men on a dangerous mission when a single soldier can do all the dirty work and still live.

Erwin pointed out that many would jump at the opportunity to lie with humanity's strongest. Levi just wanted to vomit at the title.

How can something that used to boost his soldiers' morale now turn into a fucked up ultimatum that preyed on his commitment to making his comrades' deaths matter?

He supposes that there are other women. He can even just detach himself from the whole situation after the woman gets pregnant and let her raise the kid.

But Levi has an intimate relationship with abandonment. Of being used and treated as nothing more than just a tool. It was all he knew growing up with gangs in the underground, and eventually in the corps as comrades die and his strength used to the regiment's advantage.

He's not that big of a piece of shit as to use someone and leave a child fatherless until they come of age to become a soldier. If he was going to have a kid, he'd make sure that they at least have a good childhood to compensate for all the shit they'd be pressured in. He'd want to be there every time he leaves the walls—not as a captain commanding his soldier but as a father ensuring his child's safety.

Levi also feels sick at the thought of just bedding anyone. Whenever he thinks of this option, his mind would take him back to a dark closet, deep in the underground, where he'd hide as his mother takes on another client. He'd be no better than the men who he watched come and go from his mother's room in the brothel, leaving her crying and filthy once they're done. It feels as if he'd be disrespecting her memory this way. Spitting on his mother's grave would've been more respectful than this.

The only other option is to drag the woman he'd been secretly throwing longing looks at, so willing and devoted, down with him.

- - -

The night before the government will come knocking on their doors, Petra came to his office again.

"You're up for promotion." This was his last resort.

If she accepts, then he'll be leaving tomorrow for the underground. He doesn't really know which outcome to hope for.

Levi doesn't give her the chance to reply, silently handing her a folder. He wants her to understand the gravity of this situation. Of how much of a double-edged sword her devotion truly is.

"I've already signed it and Erwin's just waiting for you to accept before he approves. We'll be raising your rank, complete with a 25% salary increase. You're still in the Special Ops, but now with the opportunity to command your own team outside of our missions, or whenever Erwin and I see it fit during an expedition. This is a step closer to fully becoming a squad leader two or three years from now."

Petra sighs and shakes her head at that. She didn't even hesitate as she takes away the folder from his hand and sets it down on his office table.

"Please, Captain." Petra pleads, hand moving to delicately hold his. "The scouts need you."

The face of the soldier who died yesterday, (Ethan, he corrects himself) flashes on his mind. Levi's promise to the young man rings phantomly in his ears.

I'll avenge your sacrifice, I promise you that.

Levi surrenders.

- - -

"Captain?" Petra removed the last button of her uniform, her eyes on the floor, leaving her in only her cotton underwear. He watches her while he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in her every move as she shrugs off all her clothing.

"Call me Levi," he corrects her. "Please."

"Levi..." She closes the gap between them, climbing on the bed and reaching out a hand to cup his face to help him relax. Petra gives him a shy smile when he leans closer to her touch, while he settles a hand at the small of her back. She leans forward, kissing his jaw and sliding her hand down to his chest to feel the quick drum of his heartbeat. "It's okay, Levi. I trust you."

Petra settles herself on his lap and gently turns his face up to hers, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. His hands trail up her upper arms and she involuntarily shivered when he cups her cheeks to deepen the kiss. Emboldened by how receptive she is of his touch, Levi trails his mouth from her lips to her cheek, gradually making his way down to her neck.

Petra's eyes are closed, biting on her lower lip. She tangles a hand against his hair to pull him closer, encouraging him further. He feels himself getting hard fast when she aligns the heat of her core against his.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asks, testing the waters by grinding down on him. He shakes his head no, tucking a ginger strand of hair behind her ear. The last thing he needs is to feel like this is a casual romp with a stranger. He wants to know it's her.

He runs his hands against her bare thighs before twisting their bodies around so she'd end up laying back on his bed. She gave a quiet huff at the impact, but Levi was quick to lean down and kiss her intensely. He fears he might come faster than they need him to if she continues bucking against him and they need to pace themselves.

Levi plans to worship Petra tonight, because she deserves nothing less. He looks down at her and meets her eyes for a bit before he's trailing down kisses throughout her body. When he's closer to her chest area, Petra removes her bra off for him and his throat goes dry at the sight. She looks up at Levi with half-lidded eyes, guiding his hands to knead her breasts. The captain doesn't waste time, groping then leaning down to swirl his tongue over a nipple before tending to the other.

Petra whimpers with his every touch. When he makes a bold move to slip his hand down her panties, that's when she gives a low moan.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly and Petra nods. He starts to massage her clit, feeling her core starting to dampen as his strokes become more intentional.

He soon replaces his fingers with this tongue, earning him a keening sound from the woman below him. Levi only pulls away when he's satisfied at how much of a dazed mess Petra is, hands gripping his black hair to stabilize herself. He levels himself again with her and Petra latches her mouth against him, once again grinding her naked pussy against his cock, still clothed in his pants.

They've both lost the initial shyness and hesitation from earlier on, now both driven by their eagerness to push their pleasure further. He's hard by this point, feeling the dampness and heat between her thighs through his clothed lower regions. Petra continues to grind herself against him and Levi gets harder at the thought of how she's fully naked and vulnerable below him. She desperately bucks up against his hips, delicate but scarred hands reaching down to finally start unbuckling his pants.

He allows her to shrug off his pants while he removes his white undershirt, towering over her. Petra watches him take off his top with a primal look in her eyes, sitting up and reaching out to pass her hands against the lines of his firm abdomen. Her eyes flares up at the sight of his cock, hand reaching out to touch before Levi grabs her wrist.

"I won't be able to last long if you do that." He says. Petra understands, opening her legs further instead to allow him in.

He positions himself between her thighs and looks at her one last time, making sure there's no doubt on her face. Petra, being the fucking amazing woman that she is, only nods at him with a small reassuring smile.

Levi grunts at how deliciously tight she is when he finally enters her, while Petra's arms found its way around his back to cling to him. It proves to be a struggle because her wet walls squeezes around him and he finds it hard to pull his head out of the pleasurable haze. He tries to pace himself, giving them both enough time to adjust to the feeling. When he feels Petra's hips slightly bucking up as if to egg him on, that's when he starts to move.

It was heaven and hell at the same time. For a second or two, he'd like to believe that this is a moment built on months of romancing and awkward dates. He lets his mind wander away from what it actually is—a task, a burden placed on his shoulders for an ability he never even asked for. And he dragged the bravest and most capable woman he knows down with him, willing as she may be.

"Harder, Levi," she breathes out on his ear, snapping his head from spiralling down in self-hatred at their situation.

Levi gives into her wishes, bracing himself by leaning down and pulling her hips closer. He starts to work towards an almost bruising pace, wanting to find a good balance between pleasure and pain for her. Her arms are encircled around him, hands running up and down the hard muscles on his back. Levi looks at the way Petra's breasts bounce with every snap of his hips, mesmerized. Her mouth was open in an o-shape, eyes unfocused as she surrenders to the heat of the moment, cheeks flushed, nipples continuously grazing against his chest with every thrust.

"Yes yes yes," she breathlessly chants. "Fuck me, Levi."

He'd dreamed of Petra like this in the past. But as her commanding officer, all he could really do is lock away those depraved thoughts and quietly steam in lust over his ginger subordinate. Being with her right now couldn't even compare to the nights he jacked off to the thought of her.

He can already tell that Petra's close with the way she's clenching him. Her pants are more desperate now and she bites on his shoulder blade as she reaches her own climax, and he eventually feels her hold on him slacken. Tired and pleased, Petra allows her head to fall back on the pillow and takes in his face to watch the emotions passing through his face.

The feel of her wet core clenching around him was more than enough to edge him closer towards his limit. The rhythm of his thrusts starts to stutter, his primal need to reach release urging him forward.

Petra starts moaning again, turned on at his uncontrollable lust. He waits until she eventually comes again, watching her fall tiredly on the bed, before allowing himself to let go.

One thrust, two, and then they tip past the point of no return. Petra makes a low noise once he comes inside her, her hips rising to meet his final thrust. Lost in pleasure, Levi had to grip hard on the bed frame above her to compose himself. Petra holds his gaze—a mix of adoration and desperation—through it all.

They both pant from the thrill of their coupling and Levi finally collapses on Petra. She pulls him close, allowing him to lay his head on her chest.

He didn't even know when he started crying. He only realized it when he felt Petra brushing away the tears silently running down his cheek with her thumb.

What kind of lowlife am I? Here he is, crying like a little shit when he was the one who'll be subjecting her to whatever hell that awaits them in the next few months. Female soldiers are normally allowed maternity leave but since his case is different, the higher ups demanded that at least one parent will see through the child's growth.

Everyone assumes that it wouldn't be the captain.

He didn't have to sacrifice his career and position. He doesn't need to sit around and nurture a living being inside him for almost a year. Petra will be the one who'll be taking the bulk of it all.

You're fucking selfish. You're a coward.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against her skin. He stays where he is, head laid on top of her bare chest and listening to the thump of her heart. Petra was just quiet for awhile, gently running her fingers through his jet-black hair as she stares up at the window and at the night sky.

"Levi... remember when you told us before to choose the choice that we'll regret the least?"

He doesn't answer back, not really knowing what to say at her hushed question.

"I chose this," Petra continues. "Because you going back to the Underground is the consequence that would kill me the most."

She gently tilts his head up so he can meet her eyes, her hand shaking from the barrage of emotion. Petra looks at his face, awe and adoration shining in her amber eyes as she traces a finger against the frown lines between his brows.

"You're a great man, Captain. I've never met someone who cares so much for his soldiers' lives more than you do." Petra continues. "I truly believe that you'll be the one who'll lead us outside these walls."

"I don't deserve you Petra."

She smiles sadly at that. "You have me either way, Levi. I'm here to stay."

- - -

The next nine months were... Well, they didn't even know how to describe it.

They decided to reveal it to their team on the first month of her pregnancy. That led to Eld's fist colliding with Levi's face. The biggest surprise was that the captain allowed his second-in-command to disrespect him in such a way.

"Eld, no!" Petra screamed.

"Captain, you told me before that you recruited Petra for her skills," Eld said. "I didn't know you'd be the type to take advantage of young girls!"

Levi understood where the younger man was coming from, knowing how Eld and Gunther treated Petra like a little sister. Oluo, on the other hand, just watched the exchange with a crestfallen look.

The guys only believed that Levi didn't force her into anything when they saw how Petra fretted over the captain's bruised face the whole afternoon. She'd constantly throw them a glare as she cups an ice pack on Levi's jaw and would constantly follow him around to make sure that he won't get attacked by the three guys. Not that they would even have the guts to attempt it, nor would the captain let it pass the second time around.

Frankly, Levi's grateful that he has a team who looks out for each other, even when they're not beyond the walls. That's one of the reasons why he trusts them. He doesn't know where he stands now as their captain and he knows these turn of events will greatly shift or even damage their squad's dynamics.

As the month comes to a close and with another mission beyond the walls in the works, Erwin pulled Petra out of all expeditions, much to the surprise of the other Scouts. Her role for the next three months were mostly to brief new recruits along with some clerical work before she closes this chapter of her life.

- - -

On the second month, they traveled to Karanese district to finally tell Petra's father. Levi had never met the man before, and the captain was quiet the whole way to her home town. If Petra didn't know better, she'd think that Levi's nervous.

The truth is that all he feels is guilt.

He knocked up the man's daughter and he was her commanding officer. What's worse is that they didn't do it because they were so hopelessly in love. Come to think of it, it would've been better if they chalked it up to them not being able to keep their hands off each other.

He'd be lucky if Petra's father doesn't assume that Levi just turned his daughter into a breeding stock.

"Petra!" The older man greets them. "Captain Levi, it's so nice to finally meet you. Petra told me a lot about you in her letters."

Levi takes a few moments to revel in the warm welcome, thinking that this day would probably end up in more heartbreak because of him.

"Mr. Ral." He accepts the man's handshake.

"Please, come in! I've prepared enough for the three of us. You're not allergic to anything, right captain?"

None of them mentioned just yet what they were there for and Levi was content just to hear Petra chatting excitedly with her father. Mr. Ral seems like a friendly man, and it's no wonder he ended up having a daughter who's such a sweetheart. The atmosphere in the room was light as father and daughter caught up on each other's lives.

Until Petra has to run to the bathroom to vomit.

He saw the rising concern on her father's face as they listen to Petra retching in the bathroom, and that whole five minutes of waiting for her to come back was absolute torture. Levi, for all his bravery when fighting titans, couldn't even meet the older man's eyes.

"Captain Levi, why are you really here?" Mr. Ral cautiously asks him.

The older man's face cracks when he finally learned the true nature of Petra's pregnancy. He couldn't look at Levi after that.

"Captain, I think you should leave." Mr. Ral says, voice cold that he couldn't believe that the warm welcome he received earlier on came from the same man. Levi didn't need to be told twice.

"Dad..."

Levi sighs as he stands up. "Thank you for the food, Mr. Ral."

"Dad, it's not his fault." Petra tries again as Levi moves to the door. "It's my decision. You know how Captain Levi is important to the Survey Corps."

"But why you, Petra?" Mr. Ral snaps. "You know, I was concerned when you told me that you were the only girl in his squad."

"Please, stop." Petra sobs.

"If I'd only known that I really did have a reason to be worried, I would've demanded you to come home."

Levi silently listens to the whole exchange from outside of the room, eyes downcast.

- - -

Petra signed her retirement on the third month. High from the mood swings brought on by the pregnancy, she cried and even hugged the commander. Erwin just awkwardly patted her head and told Petra that it might be best to let go now before Levi slices his hand off.

She also went to Mitras this month, meeting the people who forced Levi into this situation for the first time. Petra was shaking in anger as she walked inside the room, throwing the officials the dirtiest glare she could manage.

Petra didn't even bother to be respectful that whole afternoon as they brief her on what they expect from her, and what can or cannot be public information.

"I used to hope that the child won't inherit your glare but now I'm more scared to imagine if they got Ms. Ral's," Erwin whispered to Levi, watching as Petra backtalks another official.

Levi shrugs. "You haven't seen her when she gets too competitive during trainings."

On the same month, they ended up sleeping together without the goal of furthering the Ackerman bloodline.

They haven't touched each other since the doctor confirmed that Petra's already pregnant. Her every test was recorded and reported to the fuckers back at Mitras and that thought alone was enough to squeeze out the arousal in Levi's body.

Somehow, they found themselves making out in his office on this night.

"Why didn't we do this during our evening tea before?" Levi asked against her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can reach.

Petra laughs, elongating her neck further to give him access. "Gee, captain. I didn't know you wanted to be court-martialled so bad."

She's currently in civilian clothing since her last day with the scouts was yesterday. Her dress was easier to access and he'd long since unbuttoned the first few buttons that covered her breasts.

Fuck it, he thought as he moves away from his office chair and settles more comfortably on the couch, with Petra on his lap. He looks up at her, eyes alight in lust as he takes in her breasts spilling out of her dress, chest heaving and orange hair dishevelled. He hurriedly tries to unzip out of his own clothing, eagerly kissing her as she slides down his cock.

After a whole week of sex a few months ago, Levi thought he's already used to the feel of Petra around him. Egged on by their own baser instincts despite the situation, they fucked every chance they can get and it was the closest Levi had to a break. It would've been a blissful escapade if he didn't know any better, and the guilt would eat him raw every time he ejaculates inside her.

But for some reason, sex with her right now feels different. Still heated and pleasurable, because of course— it's Petra, but something has shifted between them. He feels lighter, freer.

He's careful as he bounces Petra above him, but still careful not to hurt her. Levi worships every part of her that he could reach without breaking away from the pace that they'd set, while Petra pulls against his hair and leaves her own marks on his chiseled skin.

It's the first time they had slept together without feeling as if someone's keeping a close eye on them.

This moment together is theirs.

- - -

They feel the baby move on the fourth month of her pregnancy.

Levi was the one who first felt it when he was laying his head on her lap. He was quietly reading a report while Petra was knitting a few socks when he felt a poke on the side of his head that was cozied up to her belly.

"Okay, stop it woman!" He scolds and sits up, thinking that she was messing with him. Levi pauses when he sees that Petra is tearing up.

"He kicked."

"What?"

"The baby." Levi's face slackens at that, eyes wide with wonder dropping to her tummy. She runs both hands over the skin, stops and smiles, before taking his wrist to place his own hand on one spot.

Sure enough, Levi did feel that faint poke. He lifts his other hand so he can place both on her belly. Emotion overwhelms him and he swallowed to keep himself at bay.

"Hey, kid."

On the fifth month, Levi was able to strong-arm the higher-ups to give him a goddamn house. Petra knows that this thought would continue to amuse her for years.

From what she heard from Erwin, Levi demanded that the child needs a nice place to grow up in. Since his salary wasn't worth shit despite his high rank in the scouts, it still would take him a long time to make a downpayment.

They approved the request and they moved in a few days shy of her sixth month. It was a simple house, complete with two floors and three bedrooms. One room in the first floor while another two above. Petra suggested that maybe the third bedroom can be his office but he refused.

"You're thinking of opening a pastry shop once the kid's here, right? You can use that space."

"Hmm... but that will still take some time." Petra answers, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Maybe we can use it to store all your brooms and cleaning solutions instead."

They once talked about what Petra plans to do once the child is born. Of course, most of her hours will be spent taking care of the baby but knowing Petra, she's not the type who'd sit around and rely on him for the rest of her life. They're still not sure if she'll be able to rejoin the scouts years from now, even when Levi tried telling her that maybe he can find a way to work around it the top brass' shitty conditions. They decided instead to focus more on what they can control now, and he suggested that he was able to save enough that they can use that as a capital for whatever she wanted to do.

As they were fixing their new house, Petra was also surprised that he was setting up his side on the master's bedroom.

Petra wanted to sleep beside him every night, of course. They've already been doing so since that first time they had sex after her pregnancy was confirmed. But Petra thought that it's just going to be her who will move in because the house was a good two hours away from the barracks, making it a hassle for Levi to go back and forth everyday. Petra tells him that she'd be alright with him only coming home for the weekends if it will save him a 4-hour commute every single day.

Levi brushed off her concerns and proceeded to set up the nursery room instead.

"Will a baby really give a fuck about all these colors?" He crudely asks, looking at all the paint palettes in his hand.

- - -

The sixth month was slightly harder. Petra thinks that it may be because the reality that she's now out of the Survey Corps, the one thing that gave meaning to her life for four years, is settling in on her.

Her closest friends in the scouts would visit her a few times every month. Hange's squad, sometimes accompanied by Nanaba, would drop by and Levi had to control Hange from turning Petra and his child into one of their experiments.

"Aww, Levi. I'm just trying to be a good aunt!"

"By trying to feed Petra one of your shitty concoctions?" He snaps back, taking the bottle with the godforsaken liquid as far away as he can from the mother of his child. Petra has to stop Levi from completely banning Hange from their home after that.

Eld, Oluo and Gunther visit her as much as they can.

"Wow, you look like a ball." Oluo blurts out when he sees Petra, earning him a slap at the back of his head from Gunther.

"Bozado, this is the reason why you still don't have a girlfriend." Eld said, smirking. "The captain has shittier social skills than you and he's now going to be a father. Up your game a bit."

Gunther grunts at Eld's quip, knowing that Oluo would take that differently. "Way to go Eld. As if the cravat's not worse enough."

Their visits make Petra feel as if it's just another morning in the barracks, except she now has a round belly. Gunther always asks about how she's feeling while Oluo would brag that he'd be the greatest uncle the kid will ever have. Eld indulges her in her cravings and always brings a basket of strawberries whenever the three of them visit.

She also learned that Levi never chose another scout to take over her place.

"Captain said that it doesn't really make a difference if he adds another member," Gunther informs Petra. "He screened a few. All of them ran away crying."

Oluo chuckles. "Remember when he screamed at them that they're all useless and would be good as titan shit on the next expedition?"

"Please, we all know he's just comparing all of them to Petra. Man's way too in love with you, Pet." Eld replies and Petra blushes.

"If you're done gossiping about me, you're all free to get your asses out here. It's late." Levi suddenly pipes up from the door. The three men shuts up, salutes and scrambles out after saying their goodbyes to Petra, along with promises to visit whenever they can.

"Welcome back," Petra greets, kissing him on the cheek.

"Did any of them give you trouble?"

"If anything, Oluo will give you more trouble." Petra giggles, having had a conversation with Levi about Oluo's tendency to imitate the captain. "He saw your parenting books by the way. I think he's setting up a budget so he can buy himself some."

Levi groans at that.

Through the months, she'd learned that bright little Nifa was recently selected to be transferred to Hange's team. Nanaba would share stories about her promotion to being second-in-command in Squad Mike. Oluo recently got a pay raise and he enthusiastically boasts that he more than deserved it, but Petra knows he's just overjoyed that it will now be enough to send his younger brother to university. Stories that are worth celebrating and Petra was all too eager to celebrate with all of them.

But when she's alone, she'd sometimes feel that time had stopped for her. She'd realize that this isn't just a simple pregnancy and she's not just on a maternity leave. At times when she really is down in the dumps, she'd bitterly question if the living being inside of her truly is worth calling a bundle of joy.

She'd shake that thought away as fast as it came, of course. She rubs circles around her rounded tummy as if to say a silent sorry to her child for even thinking of such a thing. Petra loves her and Levi's baby with all her heart. She doesn't regret any of it because this baby symbolises that Levi would continue making a difference in the scouts.

Still though, there were moments when Levi would come home and find her asleep with tear tracks on her face, hands clenching on her old green scout uniform.

- - -

She was seven months along when he first admitted that he's in love with her.

Well, he didn't admit it directly.

For someone who can easily throw an insult, Levi's shit at words. He made his love known and he didn't even say it to her.

He said it to her belly instead, and Petra almost died at how adorable it all is.

"Your mom's a handful, you know?" was the first thing Petra heard when consciousness starts to return back to her. Sometimes she'd fall asleep in the early evenings just before Levi comes back home. He'd let himself in on most days so that he won't disturb her slumber.

Hearing Levi talk to the baby wasn't something new for Petra. He started addressing her belly since the first time he felt the kid kick. Sometimes, he'd have (one-sided) conversations with her belly as if Petra wasn't even there. Hell, he was even more talkative to the unborn baby than when he's planning an expedition with their squad.

This was one of those moments.

Petra was about to pipe up and greet him a welcome back when he continued.

"If she wasn't the most reckless and beautiful woman I've ever met, I wouldn't have put up with all that shit she'd pulled." Petra's heart flutters. Levi rarely uses words of affection as his love language. He'd always made his feelings known through late night runs to resupply their strawberries just because she was craving them, or by offering to massage her swollen feet for someone who's a real clean freak.

"Don't tell your mom that I cursed." Levi continues as he settles down on the bed to rub her belly. "She'd have my head."

Levi must've been really tired if he didn't notice that she's already awake. He did mention this morning that Erwin was forcing him to catch up on a lot of paperwork the whole day. Still, Petra kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear what he says next.

"Did you know that there was this time when she broke formation to save a horse from being stepped on by a titan?" Levi said before murmuring to her belly: "I can't believe I'm in love with someone that crazy."

- - -

On the eight month, he proposed to her.

"Levi, you don't have to." She tells him, trying to stop the smile from beaming on her face. Her hand subconsciously goes to her round tummy, as if to share to the little one how his daddy can be so silly sometimes.

"Tch. What makes you think I 'have' to?" Levi says. "I want to. Now, tell me that at least you liked the ring because that cost me three years' worth of budget for our cleaning supplies."

He said it so nonchalantly but Petra can always tell whenever Levi is nervous deep down. She recently learned the truth about his past and she knows that the thought of a child of his being a bastard, the same way that he is, didn't sit right with him.

Petra gives him a peck on the cheek and presented her hand so that he can slide it on her ring finger.

"I love it."

- - -

On her ninth month, Levi requested a paternity leave the week she's due to give birth. It always amazes Petra how someone who seemed so cold can be such a great father before the child was even born.

"Are you sure?" she asks. "You won't get behind on work right? You've always been horrible at keeping up with paperwork."

"Don't get too full of yourself," he scoffs. "Just because you're not helping me anymore doesn't mean I can't get them done."

"I also don't trust our neighbours enough to take you to a clean hospital," he later adds.

Petra was excited because this means she gets Levi for a whole week. The last time they got this much time together she was still in the scouts. So she took full advantage of it, demanding that he take her out on a date.

"You won't reject your wonderful, bloated wife, would you?" Petra waddles over to him, asking him with puppy dog eyes.

"God, woman. Are you serious? What if your water broke while we're having dinner?" He snaps back.

"Come onnn. I've been stuck in this house for a week now!" She pouts. "You worry too much, Levi."

"No, I'm just not as reckless as you are." He tells with a hint of fondness in his voice.

- - -

Petra gives birth to a healthy baby boy on the 9th of June, and Levi spent the whole duration of the labor pacing outside her hospital room. His passive face doesn't reveal much since he looks like he was only frowning constantly. On the inside though, he feels his heart lurch every time he hears Petra scream in pain and exertion.

He can't remember how many nurses he'd snapped at. Some of them would even hurry away when he tried approaching them to ask Petra's condition. The head nurse was adamant he stay outside though, telling him that his wife is fine.

Hours later, they finally allowed him in and a nurse handed him a bundle. At first, he was confused because all he wanted to do was rush to his wife who's currently sweaty, tired and asleep on the bed.

It only dawned onto him that what he's holding is his child.

Levi's whole body freezes, and the first thing that came to mind is Kenny.

I'm going to be a shitty father, he thinks, mind spiralling down to the many ways for things to fuck up. I'm going to end up abandoning him and he'll hate me forever.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the baby gave a gentle coo, eyes blinking open to reveal amber orbs. Levi stares down at his child and awkwardly reaches out a finger towards his face. His son immediately latches on to his skin, a tiny palm attempting to encircle around his finger, and Levi can feel a ghost of a smile forming on his face.

"Hi, brat." He sees from the corner of his eye that some of the nurses raise an eyebrow at that. He'd been talking to the kid for months now through Petra's belly and this is when he's speechless?

Petra wakes up to find her husband fighting back sleep on a chair beside her bed. His hands were wrapped protectively around what seems like a bundle of cloth and he's clutching it to his chest.

He snaps out of his drowsy state when he sees her eyes open. "You're awake."

Petra hums. "Is... is that him?"

Levi nods and Petra's eyes light up despite the exhaustion weighing them down. He moves to pass on the baby boy to her, leaving a kiss on her sweaty forehead before he sits back down on the chair. He's not surprised that Petra started tearing up.

"Oh, Levi... he's so beautiful." Petra leans down to pepper kisses on the child's sleeping face. "He looks just like you."

Levi had never felt peace like this for awhile. A sick and sad part of him feared that if he'll blink his eyes closed, all these will disappear once he opens them.

He received a congratulatory letter from Mitras that same evening, forwarded to him by Erwin.

"Who's it from?" Petra asks as she nurses their baby. She's glowing, and even though she's a sweaty mess right now, he can't help but think that this is the most beautiful state he'd seen her in.

"Nothing. Just some report from Eyebrows," Levi answers.

He threw the letter away without even reading. He'd rather not have his mood ruined right now.

- - -

"He's awake?" Levi groggily asks from their bed.

Petra nods, rocking little Theo in her arms. "I'm praying that he won't inherit his father's insomniac habits."

Levi sits up, opening his arms to quietly ask Petra to hand over the baby to him. "Go to sleep Petra. I'll take care of him."

His wife hums as her body hits the bed, cuddling closer to Levi who's currently sitting up against the bed frame. She throws an arm around his waist while he holds their 4-month-old child, attempting to rock him back to sleep. Little Theo's amber eyes just stares up at him, black hair tousled from all his fussing.

"Oi, kid. Let your mom rest." Levi pokes his button nose, earning him a cute little giggle from the baby. "I'm blaming you if she gets all grumpy on me tomorrow."

Petra lightly slaps his abdomen, a small smile on her face while her eyes remain closed.

Once his family settles down, with Petra now asleep and his son's eyes gradually getting drowsier as the minutes pass, he allows himself to drown in his thoughts. Having a son was both a joy and a sorrow at the same time.

Hange always teased him at how much of family man he's become, not expecting that a grumpy recluse like him who's willing to kick the asses of recruits would be so protective of his own little family. His motivation now during each expedition is just to come back as soon as he can to his wife and son.

He sometimes daydreams about leaving it all, packing everything up and leaving their home, his position in the scouts and finding the three of them a safe space to stay away from the military's demands and interests. Little Theo wouldn't end up getting pressured to join the Survey Corps or any other regiment once he comes of age and he and Petra can have another child or even two on their own terms.

For so long, his commitment to the scouts' cause has mostly been tied to the past, wanting to give meaning to his comrades' deaths. This is the first time he looked towards the future. For the first time, he's hopes for something—he hopes for a time when his son wouldn't even be forced to join the military, no matter how decorated the title they would give him. Now, he leaves for expeditions envisioning a future where they can go beyond these stuffy walls, where he can teach Theo how to ride a horse without the intention to prepare him for a mission. It's for a future where he'd teach his son to fight, just because the boy is curious and not because he needs to survive.

He doesn't know what little Theo's future will look like. For now, all Levi can do is protect his family.

[feynavaley]

That's not true, atleast not in canon, when he sees france is truly down about his new uniform he shown real worry and even America when he's down after being dismissed by African citizens, he cares and he acts, his acts are rejected inboth the cases because he's not exactly in good terms with either of them yet but that hasn't stopped Jim from showing worry. And it continues in modern world too.

I know HC mean making stuff up but do you have a reason for believing this way

Hi and thanks for the questions.

I have already partially addressed this in a reblog of that post [x], which I have since deleted because you guys are right – I did go overboard compared to what I actually meant to say. I'm sorry about this, I was half-asleep and posted that without thinking too much. I don't think England is unkind or callous at all. I do think he may come across this way at times, though.

Regarding the last point, there’s an important clarification to be made: coming across as something doesn’t mean truly being like that. England cares a lot and he has a big heart, I’ve never claimed the contrary. All I was trying to say was that he has trouble expressing it.

Furthermore, I should mention that my headcanons aren't meant to be taken as absolute. You can't encapsulate the entirety of a character in a few lines, they're much too complex for that. When I write such a short headcanon, it's only about one aspect of a character. In England's case, this is even more important than it is for other characters. I see England almost like an onion: there are many layers to him and to how he behaves, and his behaviour changes a lot depending on the situation and how uncomfortable he is.

Now, let me reiterate one thing: England is kind. In a neutral situation, when there's nothing he particularly cares about at stake, he has no trouble being kind and attentive. In spite of this, England is also extremely insecure – an insecurity born out of many rejections and bad experiences. Due to this, I think England may have trouble expressing himself and his true nature in situations that are more emotionally loaded. On one hand, he'd like to – on the other hand, the fear of rejection holds him back.

This doesn't mean England never intervenes. I never actually meant that (but definitely came across too strongly in the post) because he does when he cares about people and he thinks they're upset – but I do think it's extra hard for him, and it may make him come across as harsher than he means to. Even the situations you mention can lead to this: as you said, England was kind – only for his actions to be misinterpreted and overlooked. After these multiple experiences, don’t you think it would be harder for England to keep trying? I don’t think it would be far-fetched. Moreover, his confidence has been shaken more and more over the years, which I think would make him more hesitant to intervene.

England has also being called ‘a tsundere’ by Himaruya himself, which was also shown in several snippets: even when he’s being kind, if he’s feeling vulnerable he becomes flustered and acts in a sort of roundabout way that can make him come across as harsher than he means to. Once again, the key-word is ‘come across’. England isn’t like that, but he does tend to act in a way that portrays his character as worse than it actually is.

That being said, I acknowledge that I definitely went too far and worded that speculation of mine too harshly. It’s true that England does intervene, at last. Still, I do think it takes a lot out of him.

Lastly, there’s another point I’d like to address because I think that one ruffled some feathers and might have been a reason behind some harsh answers I got: I do not think Canada is, overall, a better person than England. The reason I made that comparison is that Canada and England share similarly severe self-esteem issues. However, Canada is younger and more naive than England – and, more importantly, other personifications are much kinder with him than they generally are with England. I’m simplifying a lot here, but as a result, Canada developed a positive mindset whereas England turned to pessimism in order to protect himself from the disappointment. I’m of the opinion this can also make Canada more likely to act even though he’s internally second-guessing himself just as hard as England is – but Canada hasn’t faced the same kind of rejection, which does make an impact.

I hope my point makes sense now! And thanks for correcting me.

[celestiteflowers]

[Taikyoku Denki] Analysis of Fuduki Kai (part 1)

As on the title, here are my theories, thoughts and feelings about Taikyoku! Kai in this stage 10. Details are below:

1. Personality

Kai first appeared in the scene when the children returned, while everyone was skeptical and scared of Kakeru, Kai did not hesitate to sit at the same table and introduced himself to him.

Kai first appeared in the scene when the children returned, while everyone was skeptical and scared of Kakeru, Kai did not hesitate to sit at the same table and introduced himself to him.

Since Kai also has a huge passion for food, the blond gokuzaku was attracted to him and the two of them quickly became friends. After that, they happily sang the duet "I'm so hungry". Although Iku knew that Kakeru was not an enemy, he couldn't help but worry and scold his seniors "Why are you so easy to trust people ?!"

Kai is a typical "straight forward" type. He won't scare to tell his opinion no matter who the opponent is and it makes him became the only one who has done things that no one has dared to do before! For example, he dared to tease the grumpy higher demon (Haru) and did not hesitate to scold Hajime when he saw the patriarch's son pretending to be tough. He is also the only human who does not hesitate to say that the "king" of the gokuzaku- Shun "lives up to his title".

Accompanying that righteousness is the virtue of responsibility and loyalty since Kai is one of Hajime's two "guardians". Kai always tries to ensure the purple-head man safety at all times, although he doesn't as strong as him. Even when both of them were seriously injured, Kai tried to drag himself as a shield for the person he considered a "younger brother", he ignored his wound, told everybody not to worry about him, and took care of Hajime instead. He was indignant and remorseful about his worthlessness when the person he had vowed to protect was wounded, even though it was not his fault. Nothing was foreseen on the battlefield and at that time, Kai had to deal with some higher demons too so he couldn’t support Hajime. Furthermore, just as Hajime said, he has to take responsibility for himself, not Kai.

2. Strength

People will say that Kai is the type of character that specializes in causing laughs and does not know how to put forth his strength as the supporting character due to his humorous debut and other "recklessly" actions, right? Although Kai is a funny and somewhat bold person, he definitely not a weak minor character. Moreover, Kai is not only a protagonist, he is also so strong that even gokuzaku must be wary of him.

[Hajime: If you want to go out during the full moon then at least ask me or Kai to come along.]

Hajime is the "yang" of the world, someone with innate superior strength said not just himself or someone else? That's right, Hajime admitted that apart from himself -the strongest human- only Kai could beat gokuzaku and this also implied that he was the second strongest man of the mankind. That is the reason why I believe that Hajime trusted Kai's abilities to let him do the probe Kakeru task. Because even though the blond was introduced by the children, they have never seen a higher demon that is not intended to harm them before. Hence, Hajime needed to make sure that Kakeru didn’t fool them.

After Shun, Arata, and Kakeru introduced themselves, showing that they weren't as brutal as the other higher demons. However, If Kai was surprised at them by 1, Shun must have amazed him by 100.

[Kai: You guys are indeed different, I have encountered a few gokuzaku before and only their presence were scary enough.

Shun: Oh a human that had confronted with the higher deamons before and can still standing at this place to chat now. I don't know whether to call you very lucky or skilled]

The White Demon Lord, who has lived for over 3000 years, must have witnessed many things but when Shun heard about Kai's battle experience, he couldn’t help but opened his eyes widely. If the one who told Shun the tales was Hajime then everything could be explained immediately (the “yang” of the world), yet the person standing in front of him was just an ordinary young warrior. Kai was not only defeating a low-level demon, but also had smashed some of the highest-level demons and returned undamaged and this unprecedented feat stunned the White Demon Lord. Thus, If the higher demons reach a specific standard, they can endure Hajime’s yang energy and also want to be closed to it, like the gokuzakus in our party. Shun is the strongest of the strong in all of the higher demons and he chose Kai to be his contract partner. Besides the interested in Kai of Shun, I believe that Kai is also have enormous “yang” energy too and it attracted the latter.

When Kai and Hajime are chased by Doutaku’s party at the first time, Haru surprised "Are these two humans ?!" And You must also uttered the same sentence to Kai as he struggled with the latter attacks. Kai is not only can slash the gokuzaku like slashing mud, but also use his bare hands to lift it and slam them to the ground. When Kai said he had encountered the gokuzaku before and won, he wasn’t lying to show off. It is simply the obvious fact.

You can see that Kai is still very young right now, which means that the first time he fights gokuzaku he was even younger. Assuming the ages of the human characters in this stage are taken to be the same as the originals, Taikyoku Denki was released in AGF 2016 so Kai is 21 years old which means he was already able to defeat gokuzaku in his adolescence. After many years of practice, Kai came up with a method how to defeat the higher demons and he passed on to his juniors.

[Kai: No matter how strong and fast the gokuzaku is, there will be a time when they are within our reach. Just calmly and patiently waiting for that pivotal moment, we can do the counterattack]

Kakeru couldn’t help but sweated while Koi and Iku reported about Kai's teachings. Hence, the blond told Rui “Scary, they're even scarier than the gokuzaku I've met before."

That is not a complicate tactic and it seems very simple at first glance, but not everyone can do it. Don't forget that gokuzaku is at the top of the food chain, and humans are at the bottom. So it was understandable for Kakeru to be horrified when hearing a human could say lightly about how to kill gokuzaku.

After the peace returned, Kai made a contract with Shun and accepted the "Must play with me every day" condition of him. The word "play" of the White Demon King certainly cannot be normal and it was shown in the sentence said by You "Isn't that very difficult to fulfill?". Shun used to be bored so he slept all day, now he stays awake all days and live happily. Thus, there is no sign of "boredom" on Shun’s face so he definitely having lots of fun with Kai and the latter was not only survived but also found the joy in it!

3. Conclusion

Kai is the second strongest warrior of humanity is undeniable, but he is not arrogant because of it. We can see that Kai is also a person has a wide heart like the sea and his personality just like the sunshine. He happily played with the kids and was even able to make friends with the gokuzaku. So it is not difficult to explain why everyone around like him.

*Note: the part 2 is about some of highlight and funny moments scenes of Kai~

https://celestiteflowers.tumblr.com/post/640922973979770880/taikyoku-denki-analysis-of-fuduki-kai-part

[uomo-accattivante]

One of the things you can’t help noticing when you talk to Oscar Isaac is just how incredible he is at playing the part of Oscar Isaac. It’s not that he’s putting on a performance. But when you talk to Oscar Isaac, the public idea of Oscar Isaac begins to make a tremendous amount of sense.

We talk a couple of days before the release of Netflix’s new Triple Frontier, an action-adventure heist/American military allegory flick (it’s a lot) that Isaac stars in, and Isaac manages to, within the span of a few minutes, quote Shakespeare and express guilt about shoplifting in his college days. In other words: He’s sensitive with a risky streak. It’s no wonder the Internet has declared him its boyfriend (and more recently, its husband).

This quality, of course, is part of what makes Isaac so compelling to watch when he’s playing an actual role. He seamlessly shades his characters with duality; by turns he can play dour and charming, cerebral and clueless. Take Triple Frontier. Isaac portrays a character, Santiago ‘Pope’ Garcia, who is essentially a stand-in for Donald Rumsfeld. He’s tasked with rallying an all-star gang of ex-Special Forces agents (played by Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Pedro Pascal, and Garrett Hedlund) to execute a covert heist of a South American drug lord. It’s an ill-fated, and perhaps misguided, operation, but Isaac makes you believe that nothing can go wrong—and, moreover, that what they’re doing is inherently right, all while emitting a sense of manifest failure.

On the heels of turning 40, Isaac hasn’t given much thought to where he wants to take his talents for portraying complex characters next, only that he wants to scale back. “Doing the circus thing can get tiring after a while,” he says. Though, it won’t be long before he talks about what a thrill it was to train for a daunting high elevation chase scene. The change of tune comes off genuinely; he digs a good adventure, but also wants to settle down. It’s both. And it’s Oscar Isaac, so you believe him.

Happy birthday!

Thank you.

Did you do anything exciting?

We had a little bit of a house party. We just moved to a new place. So we thought, “Why not trash it? Have a party.”

It was a pretty big birthday [40]. As you move into middle age, are there new kinds of roles you're interested in playing?

No, not necessarily. But it's just kind of fun to start a new decade.

Do you have a philosophy in terms of how you choose roles generally?

Oh no, if only. Things would be so much easier. Choosing roles is really more like falling in love. I don't have a specific type that I'm looking for. It's just kind of if I read the thing or speak to the director or see some art that's connected with it and it incites something where I can't stop thinking about it, then I keep moving towards it.

Tell me about how you fell in love, then, with the character of Pope in Triple Frontier.

I worked with J.C. [Chandor] on A Most Violent Year. That had gone well. And I knew he was somebody I could trust in the editing room. You could try lots of different things and he won't make you look like an idiot. And then he talked to me about the kind of guy this is, the parables behind the whole movie, it being an allegory to the way the United States has operated throughout the world, and how in some ways my character is the Donald Rumsfeld of the story. [Pope] says, “Look, we can do this. We can take out a really bad guy. We'll be rich. We'll be in and out. No problem.” And so there's a bit of hubris there about their skills—even though these characters are incredibly skilled. But he underestimates the team's greed.

Once I became involved, we started having conversations. We thought an interesting complication—and one thing that would make it not feel so cliché—would be making the character of Pope actually from the area that he's been working in. There's a familial connection to it, so there's something more at stake. He wants to take out this guy not just as a trophy but because he actually thinks it'll make a difference.

In Annihilation you also played someone in the military. And I read that you at one point had considered joining the Marines. Is there something about diving into that military world that attracted you?

Yeah. That's definitely something I had been into when I was younger, and I had imagined that that was an avenue I could've gone down for my life. And I was very near going to boot camp and starting that whole process, and then other things happened that took me away from that. So I think there's always something inside of me that wonders about the What if? of it.

I can be quite a good student when it comes to certain things. So learning the mechanics of working with the weapons, learning about situational awareness and clearing the room, the team-building exercises—all those things, I got very excited by. And also, there was a lot of high altitude training.

What was that like?

What was cool was that all of us had a different physical task. Garrett [Hedlund] was the MMA fighter and there was a whole MMA fight that ended up getting cut down quite a bit. So he ended up spending a lot of time training that way, training with jiu-jitsu. Pedro [Pascal] spent a lot of time with the cockpit and flying. And then Charlie [Hunnam] and Ben [Affleck] both found things that were specific to their characters. And for me, I knew that I was having to do this extended chase sequence in Colombia, which was between 10,000 and 13,000 feet, depending on exactly where we were shooting. So I knew that was something I needed to train for just so I'd be able to do more than one take without throwing up. And I found a place here in New York that's a hyperbaric chamber that's able to replicate what it's like to run in different altitudes. They have a treadmill in there. And an oxygen mask, and even a tent you could sleep in at night to get your blood saturated with oxygen.

When you were preparing, what kinds of things did you learn about the military that surprised you, or that you didn't know when you were considering joining the Marines way back when?

I was a kid back then, so I didn't know much. I was like, “I'll get fit. I'll get money for college. I'll go in there because some of my friends are planning on going in there as well.” There were some people I admired who had been. This was like 1998. But the reality of it is the amount of sacrifice—not just physically, but emotionally. Being separated from your family for long, long periods of time. And especially special forces guys, who are just the elite, top of the top. There's this sense of [it being] these tough guys, these killers, chest-pounding guys. The truth is the people we spoke with [have] humility and soft-spokenness and ethical codes they go by, [there’s] lack of rejoicing in violence, the desire for connection, and the way deadly force is viewed—all those things I found to not be clichéd adolescent ideas of what being a military guy is.

The movie is very much an allegory about the American military and the country's greed. But how did you internalize the individual sense of greed that you're portraying in the film?

There's something that's epic about it. It's a very primal tale. Macbeth is the same thing. Macbeth is a heroic soldier. The entire first part of Macbeth is everyone saying what an incredible soldier Macbeth was, what he did, how he was fearless, courageous, how he saved his men. He is the hero. And then that little thing gets in there like an infection, this thought, What more could I have? "What do I deserve for everything that I've done?" And that’s mixed with the violence the person is seeing. So that for me was very interesting. Noble people who have a tragic flaw that brings them down. For my character, it was less the money. It was more revenge, taking out this one guy he's been hunting since he's been down there. He actually believes that if he cuts down this head, the rest of the thing will fall.

Did you return to moments in your life or career where you caught yourself letting greed get the best of you?

I think when I was in college I definitely did some damage at the Tower Records across the street. And the Barnes & Noble... And a couple liquor stores. There was a sense of, “I am a college student. I can barely make ends meet over here. This is a big company; they're not going to mind if I take this book of poetry.” So I could justify snagging a few items here and there. But of course Tower Records closes down, and I can't help but feel at fault.

It’s not your fault.

It was a flawed system. They had the bargain DVDs right next to the place where you walk out. So you could just put [your bag] right there next to it, go through the metal detectors, and then reach back and grab your bag.

Do you think you could graduate from Barnes & Noble theft and pull off an actual heist?

No. I wouldn't know where to begin or what to do. Anything I know about it is from movies.

Are you a fan of the heist genre?

I like the heist genre thrown on its head. My favorite movie is Dog Day Afternoon. And that is another thing where it's like, Let's do this thing. We're going to rob a bank. In and out of there. And everything that happens after that is, to me, the most exciting part. It's people in extreme situations. I worked in a hospital when I was younger, and that's something I learned a lot from, seeing people in extreme situations. You see the entire spectrum of humanity in those moments.

As a musician and a big music fan, how do you use music to get yourself in the mindset of a role?

I've done that for ages. Often for me, it's less specific about, This makes me think about this thing. It's more about what gets me to a place of readiness, openness. What makes me feel connected to the earth a bit more. Sometimes I'll put together music that I find inspiring thematically, or tonally. But I think if it's something that needs any real depth of emotion, there's this one guy named Ernst Reijseger, an incredible cellist who did the soundtrack to Werner Herzog's Cave of Forgotten Dreams. I listen to that and it puts me in a primal state. It opens me up so I'm able to receive anything that's floating around inside without judging it too much.

Were you listening to that for this role?

For this one, there were a couple moments when I did. But I think I listened to a lot of Sepultura, a Brazilian hardcore metal band. It gave a sense of the chaos and the violence, and it has some Brazilian kind of tribal elements to it. So it felt like a bit of a mix of everything they're getting involved in down there.

What's the best piece of direction you've gotten in your career?

The first one that comes to my mind was just like the sweetest way of saying "Tone it down." A great writer, Hossein Amini, he came over and in the sweetest way said, "The camera is just not able to capture what you're doing right now. We don't have the technology yet to get what you're doing. So you just have to bring it down a bit so we can capture it on the camera."

My editor insisted I find out about the footage you filmed for the Disney Parks upcoming Star Wars-themed lands. Is there anything you can tell me?

I'm afraid I can't, because actually I don't really remember [laughs]. I think some of it happened in the middle of filming the actual movie. So they were like, "Hey, today you're coming in and you'll be in the cockpit." So it's those kinds of situations. I'm sure I'm in the cockpit and I'm screaming about something important.

undefined

[andradaaastefania]

Gun Threats and Self-protection Gun Use

now not this is it no longer a phony observe just like the John Lott Gun and Gun Crime paper which become now not peer reviewed NOR became it a look at but merely a self-serving polemic by using an avid gun aficionado. You could subsequent listen 'noise' about the UK or Australia. And how their violent crime fee virtually went up after gun control. it can interest you to recognize that the United Kingdom defines violent crime a whole lot greater broadly than we do in the America as they include easy attack and sexual assault (that doesn't must be rape). Our FBI considers best 4crimes in its violent crimes calculations. Consequently we realize proper off the bat we are not evaluating apples to apples. The next noise you hear may be constitutional trumpet blowing advert a few talk approximately a 'doomsday clause'. Will the first gun proprietor who defended my liberty from our personal tyrannical government please increase your hand? No sorry David Koresh a great deal as the authorities botched that raid, you were no longer protecting something howeveryour personal twisted ideals at Waco. The founding fathers desired people with the intention to muster and shape a nicely regulated defense force, they wanted them to convey their own muskets and flintlock pistols, hell back inside the day private events owned cannon and frigates that might be issued letters of marque. We have been a younger us of a, surprisingly defenseless, it made overall experience. Even then the founding fathers did no longer say, 'in an effort to save you the Feds form getting too uppity citizens should very own and carry round guns'. Its miles my belief, and I’m no constitutional scholar, that destiny SCOTUS rulings will provide state and federal governments more authority to restrict and manage gun buy and gun bearing and that this is absolutely constitutional and would be a very good component.

Moreover you can also visit: Gun laws By Country

ultimately there can be noise about what a leftist fascist I am (not a possibility through definition but ok), and the way if the Jews had some guns antique Adolph could not have finished what he did and maybe even how the U.N desires to dispose of weapons and those in Europe are essentially slaves or victims. To the above I’ve some responses. I own two guns. I’m able to possibly however a pair more. I might gladly give up them (for cash of route) if absolutely everyone else had to and the government changed into amassing them. They’re for me a laugh to shoot at the range and a pretty cheaper ultimate insurance policy. not for domestic defense on a regular basis, not for stopping tyranny (no longer sure my 10-22 Ruger will penetrate the Kevlar and ceramic plates at the FEMA typhoon soldiers), now not they're my insurance policy in opposition to a complete breakdown of social order-a descent in anarchy, the failure of the electric grid, a deadly disease, the Zompacolypse, that form of issue. For folks that experience awful for the Europeans, drag your butt over there and consume that scrumptious meals, study the smiles on their faces, soak up the Tuscan solar, dip your feet at the Amalfi Coast-then tell me approximately the ones negative silly European slaves who in comparison to us simply don't have any weapons at all. My ultimate factor is to bemoan the Jewish argument. If handiest the Jews had weapons they could have....they may have what? The Polish navy had weapons and education, so did the French, and bet what-the Wehrmacht rolled through them like a warm knife through butter. Weapons weren't going to stop Hitler from is insane designs on the sector, no longer in the arms of scattered Jews or Romanovs or Slavs. It’s all simply noise. It’s adequate to stay having weapons to experience like it is your right however please let's now notfaux that we're protecting the charter-this is the militaries process-or that we are defending our family-from what? You think there are armed men available simply waiting to assault you? That is our police forces and courts process. They do a better task each year too as evidenced with the aid of declining charges of violence. Ok, let the games start. I ask best one aspect...be kind...being a jerk doesn't make your arguments any higher....