#most divorced

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike learns William Afton is a freak

[bubblingsteam]

Bunch of chilchuck doodles. Trying to figure out how to draw him

[sanctus-ingenium]

1 hr mined craft drawing before bed at 2am on a sunday what's better than this

[morganbritton132]

Steve is sitting at the table in the kitchen FaceTiming Tommy to help his daughter with her math homework when Eddie brings his live-stream into the room.

“While Isla’s in the bathroom, I’m going to do the same,” Steve says, standing up. He tells them both, “Play nice.”

They do not do that because it’s funnier to keep the rivalry going. The first thing Eddie says when Steve steps out is, “Does it still eat you up inside that I married him?”

Tommy replies easily with, “Are you still jealous that I kissed him first?”

Carol chimes in, “Actually I kissed him first.”

“Doesn’t count,” Tommy and Eddie say at the same time. “There was no tongue.”

“And no declaration of love,” Eddie adds. “Only I got that.”

“Actually…” Robin says, never letting anybody forget. “He confessed he was in love with me and I didn’t have to kiss him.”

[mizartz]

little star

[kennyomegasweave]

1. Stiles left Beacon Hills to never return and left his jeep.

2. Derek saved his jeep and fixed everything. Stiles's dad flat out says Derek saved it after Stiles left and tried to fix it up. Stiles had it held together with duck tape but Derek put everything into fixing it, but it wasn't able to run perfectly.

3. In the 15 years since Stiles left to never return, it ended up in the junkyard because Derek couldn't fix it like he wanted to, but he wouldn't abandon it.

4. Eli, Derek's kid, would routinely steal it to piss Derek off.

5. After Derek died. Stiles's dad gave Eli the keys to the jeep and told him Derek had "complicated feelings about the Jeep" but it should definitely be Eli's.

So like Derek was in love with Stiles huh? Like he saved Stiles's jeep, when Stiles himself abandoned it. He tried to make it run smoothly and when he couldn't he kept it under a tarp at the junkyard to not be driven but not to be scrapped either. And then his son would regularly steal it solely to piss Derek off. Derek himself said it was just to make him mad. And then when Derek died, Sheriff Stilinski gave the keys to Eli and said he should have it and that Derek had "complicated feelings about the jeep" but it was Eli's. Derek was definitely in love with Stiles and I just.

[ruby-hux]

radiostatic week: day 3 - date night

i was doing something with colors and it was good before i put shadows now idk but i had an idea guys believe me

[faunandfloraas]

"What is Kim Seungmin to me? A prey." ©10017959

[boxboxlewis]

Daniel finds out about Max’s divorce from a Google alert.

“FORMER F1 CHAMPION NEWLY SINGLE, SEEN HITTING THE BARS IN MONACO.” Journalistic excellence from the Daily Mail, as always. But when actual newspapers start reporting on it, Daniel decides to reach out. He texts Max a cat meme. Subtext: sorry about your failed relationship, also I know you like cats. Max texts back Are you trying to cheer me up, and then 😂. It’s unclear if he’s 😂 at the cat or the notion of Daniel attempting to comfort. While Daniel is trying to figure this out a third text comes in. Stop reading stupid shit by dumb assholes who don’t know anything.

Nah it’s all good, I can’t read, Daniel replies. He hesitates, and then adds I am like. Sorry about stuff with kelly or whatever though.

Max thumbs-up reacts the message, and doesn’t reply.

Daniel figures Max’ll probably just start dating another exquisitely beautiful, exquisitely groomed woman with a disconcerting resemblance to his own mother. They’re ten a penny in Monaco, where Max still for some reason lives. 

He’s not prepared for the next tranche of articles his Google Alert brings him. “MAX VERSTAPPEN SEEN LEAVING GAY BAR.” “VERSTAPPEN REFUSES TO ADDRESS RUMOURS.” “VETTEL COMES TO VERSTAPPEN’S DEFENCE: ‘HE HAS A RIGHT TO A PRIVATE LIFE.’” Like… people go to gay bars sometimes, even if they’re straight. But do straight people let Seb Vettel defend their honour in the media?

Daniel opens his text thread with Max and types Hey, are you. You know. 

He deletes it, obviously. He’s got a lot going on in his own life. Brand ambassadorships out the ass, his film production company, his vineyard. He sends Max another dumb meme and calls it good. Max is just doing Max stuff. It’s some belated F1 champion rumspringa, probably, because when he was an actual teenager he was psychotically focussed on racing. He’ll settle down soon enough.

Daniel really isn’t expecting him to announce live on Dutch television that he has a boyfriend. The clip is in Dutch, obviously, but someone has added English captions, and Daniel watches over and over again. RIP his YouTube algorithm. It’s some daytime talk show, the kind of thing Max hates, the kind of thing he’d never do unless someone was twisting his arm about it. The host asks all sickly sweet if there’s a special someone in Max’s life. Max says, “Well yes of course there is my boyfriend.” The “of course” in Dutch sounds like naturally. Naturally, naturally. “And my family I am very close to, as well.” The camera dwells with voyeuristic glee on the talkshow host’s face as she tries and fails to pick her expression up from the floor. “Your boyfriend?” she manages. Max nods, impatient. Daniel rewinds the clip. Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend? Your boyfriend?

Daniel decides to visit Monaco. Not because of Max. It’s summer and the swing of the season is funnelling him that way, that’s all, towards the parties and the glittering people dancing on yachts, getting high, bright and beautiful, living that good life. He doesn’t have an apartment there anymore, but Max does, because Max never left: still has his custom penthouse with its views of the harbour. Unless—it’s a weird thought—unless Kelly kept it in the divorce. But when he texts Max to invite himself to stay, Max doesn’t mention anything about a new address. 

Max also doesn’t sound, like, super enthused, but that’s just how he is. It’s his natural Dutchness, most likely. Fine you can come then. You are lucky I don’t have plans is probably just the Dutch way of saying “Yeah sounds great, looking forward to reconnecting.” You are very annoying is probably how people from the Netherlands express affection. Daniel texts back Love you too my brother 🤘🤘

He gets his hair touched up before he goes, a little bit of tattooing at the roots in the front. He does a spray tan, and gets his face dermaplaned (not in that order). You can’t go to Monaco and not look good, that's all.

It always feels kind of weird, flying into Nice in a non-F1 context, first class instead of private, but Daniel fits, still: gets asked for his autograph at the airport, and then on the concourse, and when he stops to put petrol in his rental car (a sweet little Porsche, nice). He tosses his keys to the valet at Max’s building and the valet goggles. That’s right, baby: twelve-time Grand Prix winner Daniel Ricciardo is in town. Daniel winks and the valet turns gratifyingly mauve.

Max, when Daniel pushes into his apartment, is less enthusiastic. “Daniel. I really do not know why you’ve come.”

Daniel ignores him in favour of crouching down, trying to pet Jimmy or Sassy. “Hey, little guy,” he croons. “Or girl. What’s up? Do you remember Uncle Danny? Am I in town to show your daddy a good time? Yeah I am! That’s right. That’s right.” Jimmy or Sassy scowls at him and swipes with one needle-tipped paw. All right, drama queen. Daniel stands back up and grins at Max. “I mean, mostly I wanted to meet your boyfriend,” he says, for some reason. What the fuck, Ricciardo. He keeps grinning, styles it out. “Gotta give him the old shovel speech, right?”

Max is doing the blank-eyed stare Daniel remembers so well from their racing days. It’s wildly disconcerting coming from this Max, who looks. Different, that’s all. He’s thick, still fit and well-muscled but heavy with it now, t-shirt stretched over the layer of hard fat covering his abdomen, face softer. He’s a bear of a man, he could—he could do lots of things, obviously. It’s fine. It’s just that part of Daniel still expects him to be the gawky teenager Daniel loomed over.

Max says, “What do you want to say to my boyfriend about shovels,” and for a bewildering moment Daniel has no idea what he’s talking about. 

“Oh, no, it’s like—it’s a saying, or whatever, when someone starts dating someone. I mean, usually dads say it, I guess, but like—the idea is if he mistreats you I’ll…” Daniel trails off as he realises he’s not actually sure what “shovel speech” means. “Uh, hit him with a shovel? Or I guess potentially, like, use it to bury his corpse. Whiiiich is a joke! Not actually going to bury anyone.” No, weird comment, Daniel’s not actually going to bury anyone t-shirt is raising a lot of questions et cetera. Hastily, he adds “As long as he behaves!” and then stands there mentally kicking himself while Jimmy/Sassy yowls soulfully near his ankles. He's never like this, he never loses control of a conversation like this. It's agonising.

Max stares at him for a long moment, and then cracks up. “Daniel, you are still so weird,” he says. It sounds kind of affectionate. 

“You know it, baby,” Daniel says. “So, where’s the boyf?

Max’s cheeks go a little red, it looks like. Maybe Daniel’s imagining it. “Ricardo is at the gym,” he says.

Daniel has to have misheard that. “Sorry, what’s this dude’s name?”

“Ricardo,” Max says grumpily. “My boyfriend.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Once again Daniel decides, against his better judgement, to style it out. “Uh, is he Australian, by any chance? And devastatingly charismatic?”

Max sighs, as if Daniel is being really annoying. “He is from Melbourne. And yeah, he is okay I think. Maybe you won’t like him though, because you like always to be the funniest one. Come on, I will show you to your guest room.”

Daniel manages a casual-sounding, “Haha, you got me.” They’re walking through the apartment, now, Max leading the way. For a moment Daniel just watches the sunburned back of his neck.

[terracottakore]

the wedding before everything went wrong

[refs from @/kemmiethecat on ig]

[jeeaark]

I have something that my brain is like "Hey, this is an Ask!" So let's do this! Did Greygold ever encounter Ansur? How would they respond to him making his very (very) messy breakup their problem? Especially with most of the pre-fight being Ansur and Emps using the inside of their head to bicker like an old (very bitterly divorced) married couple.

Hell yeah they did! Had this Ansur of a question (hweh) pre-prepared~

And bonus:

Greygold had one million questions for the Emperor.

Now Greygold has two million!

[masqueeraid]

Average bisexual divorced couple

[fuumiku]

ACNH AU but it’s just Chil as Tom Nook giving out lax loans to people in need with his half-foot guild, and his close friend Isabelle Marcille helping out and hanging around. Been playing ACNH and came to the realization that Tom Nook & Isabelle give Chil & Marcille energy, and immediately had to draw it…

Man wanted to retire early but still hasn’t stopped. What I want for post-canon Chilchuck is just for him to have Tom Nook energy fr fr

[beananium]

*remembers the best gamefaqs forum question of all time*

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

sometimes I just think about the hesitant shoulder grab during the aziraphale/crowley kiss and my soul dies a little. what does it MEAN. who told michael sheen to do it. did the bastard come up with it himself??? FUCK

[sciderman]

if you had to categorize each askspiderpool-verse ship (not just spideypool, but like, spideytorch, vanessa and wade, mj felicia, whoever get funky w it) as either codependent until they die vs. divorce fever where would u place them

ask-spiderpool ship tier list here we GOOOO