#much 2 thinnk about

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset with my mother for making me change my clothes before my little sister's birthday party?

I (15f) own two tank top dresses that I got from Old Navy. One is like a blue tie-dye watercolor, and the other is a camo one. Now I rarely wear dresses because I like pants and shorts better, but I thought it'd be nice to "dress up" for my little sister's 10th birthday party. So, I decided to wear my camo one because I was told green is "my color" by multiple people, and the blue one reminds me too much of the 4th of July.

(Both of them are decent modest dresses, the length of the skirt goes below my knees, and the straps are at least two fingers wide. So it's nothing inappropriate for kids party or something like that)

So, I throw on the dress and a pair of jean shorts underneath so I can put my phone in my back pocket during the party, and go about my day.

(Now, before the story continues, it is important to note that I usually use my two dresses as nightgowns,

1. Because they're comfy

And 2. Because, again, I don't normally wear dresses during the day, preferring pants/shorts with a shirt instead.)

As the day goes on, my mother keeps saying I need to change out of my pj's and into something different, and I keep trying to tell her that I'm not wearing as a nightgown today but as a dress, but she keeps walking away before I can properly expain. This happens a few times throughout the morning, going into the afternoon. Until I'm helping out in the kitchen to help make food before all of the guests arrive.

And my mother asks "is that what you're wearing?" I answered "yes" and she just kind of looks me up and down and says something along the lines of " mmkay! I guess it just looks weird to me because Im used to you using it as a nightgown." Which I completely understand because I usually do, I just decided not to today.

I think the matter of my dress has been dropped and get back to cooking. While waiting for a pot of water boil, I stand next to a counter in the kitchen listening to my mom and a friend of hers who showed up early talk. But when my mom's friend turns away for second, my mom turns to me and says, "i really think you should go change before the other guests arrive. You look like you're wearing a nightgown" with a slightly disappointed look in her eye (which translates to 'you should be embarrassed of yourself, and I look kind of sloppy' in mom-speak).

And I'm a little taken a back by this and whisper "no it doesn't" feeling a but hurt, because I thought I actually looked kind of nice, and I usually dont thinnk that about myself. Plus, no one else had said anything, so I thought I looked fine to everyone else too, but apparently not?

My mom just kind of says, "mmkay" with the same disappointed look on her face and goes back to cooking. I just kind of stand there for a second, trying to figure out whether I should go change or not. And I being the people pleaser that I am obviously chooses the former, and goes to change asking my grandmother to watch the boiling water while I do so. Then I come back and get back to cooking.

While changing, I kind of teared up a bit and went on a mini rant in my head. My hurt morphing into anger at my mom, and her statement. And I'm not entirely sure why? And now I feel super guilty about being angry at her at all.

But, idk? I'm probably being over dramatic! Honestly, I think I just needed to get this out there since I obviously can't tell anyone. They'll just think it's stupid! (Which it is, lol)

So, AITA for feeling the way I did?

What are these acronyms?

[libelelle]

I love ur AU idea so much!!! Do u think u can teach me the ways of sonic fan art o wise one 🥹!

thank you!!! (!!)

boy i dont know if i should be pained that you asked this question ( I Am A Bad Teacher) or glad ( i actually have something to say)

so if you dont know, im a very new sonic fan. i've been drawing sonic stuff since august. Before this i had never drawn sonic before. like drew exclusively human people. this means that learning to draw sonic was a learning experience for me for sure.

so assuming you were asking for advice, im putting it all under a read more since it is a little longer than i intended. tee hee (also sorry if the advice is a little too basic! this is from when i first started drawing sonic stuff so)

now before i start like. i am not a professional by any means, i don't have the secrets of art, etc etc. you decide what you like in your art and my guidelines might not always apply to you, if at all. your art style is yours first, and you pick the rules.

alright! the first thing i had to figure out (and tbh still am) is proportions! having mostly drawn humans and having developed my entire art style around drawing people, sonic proportions threw me for a loop. i was almost. ALMOST tempted to try to adapt with what i already had.

the issue with that is that human proportions and sonic proportions are wildly different like. these are not compatible.

(also say hi to my oc! hi Eira!)

the proportions for sonic are, naturally, very cartoony. trying to give them more realistic proportions can make everything feel off and well... think about the og model for the sonic movie. overall when i draw sonic character (this varies!!) the head is either larger or equal to the torso. hand and feet are a oversized and eyes are. big. the short of this is study the proportions of a character! see how certain part of their body compare and don't be afraid to try a new style!

another thing i learned is for drawing their. uh. muzzles? face circles? idk. the part where their sily mouths and noses go. that part. the basic shape of them is like. an oval with three bumps on the top. like this:

when i first tried drawing sonic i noticed this right away and. stuck to it. too much. but it doesn't always look like that! there are a lot of things that can change its shape such as perspective, expression and, obviously, the character.

perspective can mess with how prominent those bumps are, as well as the shape of the oval, based on the angle.

expression will push and stretch this shape with the mouth (thinnk about how your cheeks move when you move your mouth!)

characters can have different shapes as well!! knuckles muzzle (the big bump) is more prominent when i draw him, because his snout is longer. i also draw tails with little sharper of a bump, not that its super noticeable

this is a super specific thing to talk about but im saying because it applies everywhere. nothing is going to be 100% static so have specific rules about how something looks isnt going to help you with drawinf the characters in new and dynamic poses. their eyes, bodies, ears, etc etc etc all move and are affected by movement. its a lot to think about at first, but work on understanding it all one at a time, then practice it in combo!

finally, since this is already so long, the tried and true and frankly mildly annoying piece of advice:

practice!! give yourself time to adapt to drawing the characters!! just by drawing them you'll see the way it looks evolve over time, from habit and from integrating new details and new ways of approaching it.

for reference, one of the earliest drawings of sonic in my sketchbook (Aug. 13) and one i did a few hours ago!

these were done ehhhhh 2 months ago????? has it been that much already?

point is: these are very different drawings, which comes from experience. i experimented a lot and also have years of drawing experience under my belt, so it came pretty quickly for me. its still not perfect, but via studying the characters (or spending all my time staring at silver idk its the same thing to me) and pulling at details from styles i like, i definitely have been and will continue to improve!

i hope this is helpful in some way, to how you draw the characters and how you approach art in general!! i also hope that this was clear enough guidance since it was just me talking about things i did for the entire time lmfao.

[c-kiddo]

thought, marisha’s characters are all different flavours of Weird Girls , ,, like keyleth ate leafs in the playground and made bug enclosures, beau was obsessed with those egyptology and dinosaur books, and laudna had random Items in her pockets and tried to adopt mangey stray animals . .. . im literally correct.. wow, autistic girl swag :-) 

[algumaideia]

How do you think Sarah handles her topic of abuse? I personally think she does a horrible job, because Tamlin is ABSOLUTELY abusive in ACOMAF, it’s written so weird. Because he loses control of his magic and destroys stuff. It’s abusive and it ruins a study, but it’s not intentional. It can’t parallel physical abuse in our world, which is always intentional, because Tamlin's Magic literally ACTS ON ITS OWN. I'm not denying it’s abuse, but the way his abuse is written, it’s not his fault. 1/2

2/2 But abuse is ALWAYS the abusers fault. So him losing control of his magic and hurting Feyre UNINTENTIONALLY is a bad metaphor for physical abuse, because it’s not on purpose, because it’s not something he can control, it’s not his fault (he’s still abusive, tho). Additionally, a lot of his abuse stems from miscommunication. Rhys only knows because he reads minds. But Tamlin? Tamlin doesn’t know how Feyre is feeling, doesn’t know red triggers her. (Sorry, I gotta add a part 3)

3/2 Tamlin doesn’t know that the parties (which he canonically HATES, but is using to introduce Feyre to his court) are making Feyre feel worse, he doesn’t know how uncertain she is about the wedding, he doesn’t know how messed up she is. Once again, a bad metaphor for abuse, because abusers always do things to hurt their victims on purpose, because they know their victims don’t like or are scared of something. The abuse analogy fails because he’s not trying to hurt her, like abusers do.

Hi nonnie!

You brought really good points. I don’t understand that much about abuse, so I don’t have anything to add about what you said. I thinnk you explained your point pretty well, and it can talk by itself.

Now, my opinion about the way the she write abuse: it is horrible. And the main problem is that it is arbitrary. 

Characters do the same things, but they are framed in different ways. So she ends up normalyzing, glorifying abusive actions. They are ok if they are for your own good, if they are made by your mate/true love/soulmate, if they were just pretending to be bad, if they feel so sorry about it. 

Tamlin locking Feyre in the Spring Court is bad, but Rhystrash puting a magic shield around Feyre is fine.

When Tamlin made Feyre go to all those parties(that had a political purpose and he didn’t know she didn’t like because she never told him) is bad. How Tamlin can have such disconsideration for Feyre’s feeling? But Rhystrash making her be almost naked, mind raping and drugging her is ok, because he needed to do so for her own good. It is ok because HE was suffering so much. It is ok because he was helping her.

The message of her books is abuse is bad, unless it is made by the one.

She doesn’t write it well at all.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. How do you people write? I’m procastinating the entire week to write the next chapter of my story. Please someone help me!

[sparklycardigan]

hi, ivy here 💕💕from whatever ive heard abt logan, the nate & logan parallels feel very legit. which brings me to THE QUESTION, which is. nate archibald, as rory gilmore's boyfriend; how do you think that would go?? love u!

IVY, NATE ARCHIBALD AS RORY GILMORE'S BOYFRIEND WOULD BE SOMETHING INSANELY SIMILAR TO DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (DAN=RORY I don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️) I'm trying to figure out the circumstances of their first encounter now and all I'm coming up with is Dan Dan Dan because it has to be Dan, right? He has to be the initial string connecting them, right? Okay so, Rory and Dan meet while Dan's promoting his book or something (well, we HAVE to fix the mess that is s5 sOmEhoW and if Nate's going to date ;) someone else, Dan has to be with Blair in this au because I can't handle any more of pining!Dan if I tried ), they bond (well duh) and Nate just walks in on their big gifted kid burnout talk(TM) one day in the loft, stands there like 🤔 for a little bit and goes: Sooo, where's the ice cream, there's gotta be some comfort ice cream when this kind of thing happens, right? (this is Nate digging into that Humphrey knowledge pocket and all the tips he learned from Jenny while staying over, he's the pro at these things now). And obviously Rory likes him from the second she hears him utter those words because:

1. She's Dan.

2. That's the most Lorelai way to solve a problem.

The three of them end up playing board games on the floor afterwards (probably getting a bit drunk too because why not?) and Rory and Dan are 💞going through it💞 with the nostalgia and Nate is just sitting there smiling (☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️), picture sweater!Natie (yes, this is me giving Natie the childhood he deserved, who cares if he's in his 20s? Allusion to the birthday party Rory throws for Logan in s7 -> completely intentional because that was epically cute + Logan/Nate parallels)

But like... the relationship relationship would include (these are going to be shamelessly self indulgent headcanons with little to no meta because my brain's incapable of making up layered crossover scenarios rn, adding that to my wip ideas tho):

1. sweater/scarf sharing (Dan knits these for Rory/Nate as gifts Mrs. Weasley style, just... nowhere near that level of skill LMAO, they're all matching for Christmas AND IT'S HORRIBLE but still kinda cute anyways, Dan is an inevitable aspect of this equation obviously, wHat elSe diD yOu thinNk, huh?????🧐)

2. pre-relationship stuff would've mainly consisted of looooong late night talks (to quote ✨Moi✨: "if it's not built on friendship then I'm sorry but I don't want it"), majorly about their privilege and Nate would probably be the first one to mention how guilty he feels about it subtly which would make a couple of light bulbs turn on in Rory's brain which would make her think about it which would lead to her knocking on Nate's door at 2 a.m. begging him to explain it to her because "I didn't realize how much I had because I've never felt like I had too much of anything. And I thought that was the standard. I just... I only ever wanted to be close to people." and he wouldn't get what she's talking about at first (which is Rory accepting all these expensive gifts and embracing certain lifestyles because they came hand in hand with the people that she cared deeply about and... never evaluating the worth and meaning of these events without connecting them to her loved ones) but he would talk about it anyways and she would listen and compare his experiences to her own and realize how different and how similar people are when compared to each other. (which would also help with her "not like the others" complex, Nate isn't someone Rory would willingly hang out with if friendship=love was up to choice.)

3. Widening of perspective my beloved!!!!! Kind of like Natessa just queue in Rory making these crazy colorful charts and diagrams about the history of cinema for Nate and Nate actively studying them (every day for at least ten minutes) while Dan shows Rory how to play basketball back in the loft (one word: disaster) and Blair is all like 😑🤨🙄 in the corner *inserts endless eye rolls* (she wants us to think she hates Rory, in actuality she thinks her knowledge of the bookish world is rather 🎇acceptable🎇 and she loooooves her BFF Paris there's no TV show Gilmore Girls in this version of canon but that was already implied I suppose... I understand this au has a lot of plot holes but for once I don't really care :)

4. Rory. Reading. To. Nate. Before. They. Go. To. Sleep. Just his head on her shoulder while she reads him whatever book she's obsessed with at the moment. (💕🌸💖🌻💕💞💖☀️💕💖☀️💕)

5. Waffles/Pancakes! Friday! (Dan's idea ofc) which is basically Cooking With Dan Humphrey starring Blair, Nate and Rory as the annoyed, the enthusiastic and the confused (but determined nonetheless!) respectively and Dan as the chef par excellence or whatever you want to call it (he has a hat and all). And Milo is a part of this au (circumstances, logic, what what what??????). All of them babysit him (there's a very Rory-resembling schedule on Dan's fridge👀) + Rory and Nate get a labrador (yes, this is just to get Blair kissed by an actual labrador) later on, oh and his name is Newland Archer (the geeky evil energy is insane today 🤭).

[gemsofthegalaxy]

we're watching a random episode on the dream home makeover or something

but its like... so much of the show is about the host and her family and stuff and im like... i care a lot more about the clients idk?

like if it's Dream Home Makeover you thinnk it would be most about the home and the clients.

maybe its because of the pandemic bc i accidentally went straight to season 2, thanks netflix lol

[adanedhel]

i find it kind of interesting how, from most of what i’ve seen, fëanor is portrayed as the proudest, most gloating father when it comes to curufin. like yeah he will offer a genuine constructive criticism, but for the most part he’s very “my son is the best, say something bad about his work, i dare you”

but when it comes to curufin and celebrimbor, curufin is usually portrayed as pretty harsh on him. always criticizing and never really showing it if he’s proud. i wonder where this comes from?

i know this is basically just a fanon interpretation, and doesn't extend to everyone, but i have some Headcanons about why this behavior could be.

fëanor is a good dad. i won’t hear anything else about him, he’d a good and loving and supportive father. whatever his children want to be, he will encourage them to be the best at it. and they are the best at it, because they’re his kids after all. curufin is his jewel, little fëanor #2, and he gives him especially high praise and brags even extra about him.

so how would curufin grow up to be such a stern, “this could be better” sort of a father? i thinnk it stems from feeling.. sort of babied? like, he looks back on old projects that his father said were so great! and he knows that he could do better. maybe if his father had pushed him more, instead of praising him so much for “poor” work.

(of course fëanor wasn’t just stroking his ego though, either. he wanted him to keep improving but the only way to do that is to move forward, and everything you make that you couldn’t make before is worthy of praise. everything you do is a learning experience, even if curufin doesn’t understand it that way. what he made was the best, because it was the best he could do.)

so this translates into him pushing tyelpë do always, always be better. its not that he isn’t proud of him, but he just wants his son to do better, Knows he can do better, it will just take time.

and... i think it also comes from a place of “i don’t want celebrimbor to make my mistakes.” he wants him to be better, wants him to be a better person, a better crafter, just better. curufin cannot be his father, no matter what he does, he knows he will never reach that. but maybe, if he just Keeps Pushing, celebrimbor can get there.

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[procrastinatorproject]

2, 12, 22 and 32 of the fanfic writer asks :)?

Okay, let’s see.... (I apologize in advance for the essays these answers will inevitably turn into. The brain does not do brief ^.^”)

2: Why do I write fanfic? Daydreams have been an integral part of my psyche for as long as I can remember. I literally do not know what other people do when they walk/cycle somewhere or clean or try to fall asleep or wake up, because for me the answer is always daydream. When I was in school, I started actually writing those stories down and later found out they were what is commonly called fanfiction, but after school I couldn’t find the inspiration anymore. So after I finally, finally picked up writing again about a year ago, for the first time in ten years, and put some of my daydreams on paper, it just... kindled something. And then I started writing actual stories (i.e. not just plotless self-insert) and found this incredibly community of fans and writers and it just gives me so, so much joy. I think I write partially to share the joy of whatever show or book or other property I’m writing about with other fans, partially because having other people enjoy something you created is incredibly vaildating, partially because it makes room to explore ideas, concepts, and characters that didn’t get explored in canon as much as I’d like to see. But I think mostly, I write because my brain spends a lot of time in these worlds and it’s where I feel safe and happy, and putting the stories on paper makes it possible to return to them again and again. And if other people can maybe find a little bit of that in my writing, too, all the better. Also: When I started writing a year ago, it made me blissfully happy in a way I hadn’t felt in literal years. I’d started thinnking I’d never find that unbridled, exuberant joy again. But writing, mapping, engaging with other fans on tumblr, the friendships coming out of fandom... I finally know it’s possible to find that kind of joy in my life. So that’s probably also a big reason.

12: A WIP I’m excited about I’m still working on the follow-up to Passengers. I know it’s been eight months if not longer, but this story still means so, so much to me, and I love the characters, and I really want to continue writing their adventures. Every time I manage to sit down with it, it makes me extremely happy, even though it might not see the light of day for another eight months, if that’s how long it takes to finish it. I will not give up on my chaotic space archaeologists and assorted other quirky characters! Also: there is going to be a heist! Who doesn’t love a heist?

22: Do I listen to anything while I write? Not ususally? I don’t listen to a lot of music period, usually just the same handfull of albums on shuffle and repeat. So at the moment, if I do actually have music on while writing, it’s probably Florence + The Machine (because I have all four albums on my phone), the Outlander soundtrack (because that’s what I used to write my term papers and thesis when I was in England so it equals “focus and write!” in my brain) or maybe occasionally a Spotify radio mix, usually based on the song “This is how you walk on” by Gary Lightbody from the movie Gifted. (Which everybody should go watch RIGHT NOW!! It’s on Netflix in Germany and so, so, SO good!)

32: Random Fic Summary (I made google give me a random number because I couldn’t decide which one to summarize.) Preparations: The holos prepare Sirena to take on passengers. Shenanigans ensue.

Thank you for asking and giving me an excuse to ramble! If anybody wants to know anything else, the list of questions is here.

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

okay i had this idea and i wrote a bit of it but i need some validation that its something worth working on further. okay hear me out. we got two women exploring fantasy-style wilderness. one has always worn a fancy mask, she wears it everywhere all the time. one day she makes one for her travelling partner and that's pretty gay right? so now they both wear some hella cool masks and they look awesome. im running ojt of room but theres more hang on

“the one woman wears the mask so often the other literally doesnt know what her face looks like. thats important. so one night she thinks "fuck it i'll ask abt the masks" and the reason the first woman made the mask was bc it's how their culture does dating stuff!! thats about as much as i have so far and i cant tell if i love the idea or if im just gay and need to go to sleep bc its like 2:30am. i hope this was coherent also tell me what you thinnk please ◇♡♡♡♡ thankyouu”

Idk about “coherent” but valid and not incomprehensible.

I’d say it’s a nice start, definitely gay, but a little underdeveloped for me to say much else.

If it were my idea, I’d probably get a better understanding of the importance of masks/covered faces in existing human cultures than I currently do to make sure I didn’t do anything insensitive, but idk what you know.

If you want some of my ideas for developing it further, just ask. Get some sleep first though!!!!!

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Author is preparing deku to him understanding Shigaraki & characters who are parallel with Shigaraki

did you notice shigaraki is a parallel with the characters who saved by deku or close to deku

like everything is for deku s understanding shigaraki better.

similarities between shigaraki and other characters

1-KOTA

kid who lost his family at young age and who hate society because of that

2- ERİ

Both have light blue hair (almost same hair) and red eyes.

Both have uncommon Quirks, and both accidentally used said Quirks to kill members of their own families.

Both are connected to villain organizations, Tomura as the current leader of the League of Villains and Eri as a Shie Hassaikai hostage.

they were both abused physically and psychologically 

3- BAKUGO KATSUKI

-they both can face the reality. baku cant face the fact that he isnt sthe strongest. shiggy cant face the fact that he killed his own family even if its just a accident. thats why they both have explosive personality

-baku got everything he wanted. also shiggy was raised like that too but difference is no one gave shiggy a love and its really horrible if you really think about it.

4-TODOROKİ SHOUTO

- shouto s mom poured boiling water into the face of his own son. maybe he didnt meant to do it. but still, it was the most painfull memory for shouto. this was what made him traumatized

look at shiggy s father s reaction. similar to shouto s mom s reaction. scared and insane. in that scene, there was an aeron. big posibility, he hit his son with that aeron. this case is also explains that shiggy s keep saying "sorry, father” and his wounds on his right eye and his lips. he is blaming himself, this is also what made him traumatized

shouto loved his mom but his hearth was broken when her mom did that. shgaraki loved hs father the most maybe but after his father s reaction...they both needed the person they loved the most but they werent there for them. “the ones we loved the most are the ones who hurts us the most”

-endeavour educated shouto with his own methods. shouto basically lived in a different world from others. he never had friends, he never socialzae with other kids, he never had proper relationship (until the fight with deku). this is why he is so sad at empathize with other people thats why he cant always understand normal situtions cause he is not used to it

shigaraki was also raised/educated like that but with worse version. he never lived as a human. he lived as an outsider from society. did you ever think why afo talked with him with computer without screen? the reason is to prevent him from establishing empathy. shigaraki never had friends and probably never had a relationship, never even had a proper conversaiton with other people. this is why he cant empathize with others.  and a lot of things.

5- AFO S BROTHER / FIRST WIELDER OF ONE FOR ALL

-they both were a prisoner of Afo. and their apperances are similar to each others. afo manipulated both of them. and interesting part, deku saw this in his dream. not just this, he also saw how afo manipulated people :)

6- DEKU

they had nothing but then their "savior" came when they lost their path. someone gave them a purpose to live. (well in this case, shigaraki s condition is definitely worse and full of manipulation though). season 1: shigaraki fight the heroes at the first time deku fight the villains at the first time after then, afo: shigaraki tomura, next time, show the world that they need to afraid of you! allmight: midoriya izuku, in spor festival, i want to tell the world "i am here!" season 2: deku lost in spor festival to todoroki. shigaraki lost stain in stain arc. also these panels: 

both of them, trying to find their path in season 3: 

they both lost their masters/fathers 

and now, their turn 

season 4: deku vs mirio shigaraki vs overhaul who is a better sucessor. and they proved theirselves 

deku is really heroic and such a good hearth but he is very unlucky, like he is cursed. shigaraki is a tragedy character. his life is cursed. they always have hard times in their own way. (i know you think shigaraki is evil but no, he is not.) these both characters have a lot of similarities but at the same time, they are opposite. like shigaraki is "save me", deku is "i will save you". or deku is really selfless but compared to deku, shigaraki is selfish. they both wants completely different things. but actually they have a lot of similiraties too. they both lost childs and trying to find what they want.

they are both gratefull characters. deku always gratefull even when people around him did nothing for him, he is still ok. shigaraki is abandoned child basically but even he is a criminal, he is really gratefull to afo and kurogiri cause he thinks they saved him. (well they did opposite though). in shigaraki s mind, life is something worthless, because of this feeling he cant care other people. but he is being gratefull when someone did something for him. also another similarity, they both deserves better. deku did a lot of good things he deserves every beatifull things in the world, shigaraki is just a so tragic, sad and pitifull character ....., he had too much pain, no one deserves to be in pain, especially this much, so after he pay his crimes, he deserves to be happy too. (also author said that he is like a fairy tail boy, it means shigaraki was really cheerfull kid like deku when he was a kid) blah blah blah. shigaraki is just a kid who lost his hope, deku is like symbole of hope. and blah blah blah. there are other similiraties too, but i am tired so...hopefuly you got me, they are same and different at the same time :) like soulmates.

-also we know deku will have a six quirks. and i believe nana s quirk was decay (cause shigaraki really similar to her and casue of these gloves thing) so in the future, deku wil have too. and again, he will understand shigaraki better than before. like its all for to deku s understanding shigaraki.

-well lets be honest. every character in bnha could be like shigaraki. also, thinnk about all parallels about him. think about how much victim he is. think about what is this story all about. think about deku s heroic soul.

we all know shigaraki would be completely different person if someone saved him just in time, he would be good person big posibility. also eventually deku would learn shigaraki s past or even he knows nothing, he will see shigaraki s pain. then what would deku say? “yeah he was a victim, but now he is criminal and hurting others. its too late” really would deku say “its too late to someone”? i mean really? we are talking about deku right now. come onnnnn. tragic victim always have tragic endings? i mean, we have a main character who can change the future!!!

maybe greatest villain means the most dangerous villain? he most dangerous villain is isnt the most evil, is the one who is in pain the most, i think. also it doesnt mean he wont pay his crimes. he will still pay it, also we have to stop him. and deku and others are learning to “save and win at the same time” then what would happen if the person that you must defeat and save is the same person?! simple. DEFEAT HIM AND SAVE HIM.

also if deku couldnt save shigaraki, would he say “this is the story how i became the greatest hero”? i dont think so. there is no way he could call himself even a “hero”, if he cant save shigaraki. so definitely he should save him cause this is all about.  dont believe its too late. NEVER TOO LATE TO SAVE SOMEONE. especially we have a victim like shigaraki, there is no way we can leave him like that cause if we ignore his pain, shigaraki will be abandoned by the world for the second time. so i think he should be saved. i think this is what it should be. of course it wont be easy, but it has to be like this otherwise, honestly i would be really disappointed, my opinion. shigaraki is a blowback of this society and you shouldnt kill/destroy blowback. yeah deku and shigaraki are parallel but you shouldnt kill or destroy your parallel. you should save him. yeah shigaraki will go so far but it woul be best if he could turn be a good person again and pay his crimes while living. it would be millions times better than killing him. cause killing him means all this sad scenes for was just making a drama. also stoppng him doesnt mean we have to kill him and deku wont do something like that. i would perefer shigaraki have redemption arc and have happy ending too even though he became a greatest villain. he deserves it and he has a great potential to be a good person. well its my opinion. i hope it can happen.

there might be somethings i forgot to mention and i didnt notice but for now, thats it sory for my bad eng :P hopefully you got meee

[imagine-that-one-thing]

Dripping In Diamonds. || 2

Authors Note: Hey everyone! This is part two to ‘Dripping in Diamonds,’ it is something new I am currently playing around with and I hope you guys enjoy reading it. Thank you if you decide to read! Previous Chapters, Dripping In Diamonds. Harry Masterlist found HERE If you’d like to send me feedback feel free to send me an Ask. It sometimes helps to see what the reader feels and thinnks. :) xx

I’m the kind of woman that acknowledges what she desires and when she desires it. I’m a woman of various means and fortunes, but I️ concede the prying eyes of people on the outside to judge me and ridicule me. I️ allow them to understate me, merely because it gives me extra dynamism over their weakened, obnoxious, ignorant individuals. I’m associated with several conditions, wealth, fortune, diamonds, Nate, but what the outsiders peering in fail to notice is the contempt lathered on the walls of the house or bogus words written between the lines of business and a wedding certificate. One could suppose that I️ enjoy playing with fire for the quality of the ache and the burn or because I️ prefer to play with fire instead of putting it out. It’s more of a thrill.

“Eleanor, darling,” Nathan’s voice is a rich sounding melody that reverberates the metaphorically abandoned hallways, his footsteps inching closer and closer to our lavishing bedroom before he’s stepping in and granting me a petite smirk. 

I️ glance up at him from my position at the end of the bed, my leg crossed over the other as I️ watch him take his suit jacket off— sliding it leisurely down his arms. I️ smile at him, more so admiring his charming good appearances and the body that thrives beneath the clothes, “Nathan,” I️ greet as I perpetually do. From the way he’s grinning at me I️ can only assume he requires something from me. He doesn’t smile lovingly at me anymore, he hasn’t since our honeymoon ceased. “Would you mind accompanying me tonight?” “Do I️ have to?” I️ question as his fingers begin to unfasten his button up. I can’t help but lick my lips subtly at his exposed skin. He has a magnificent physique, he always has. Intriguing, very intriguing— he always has been. Nathan provides me with a small exhalation and nods, “it’s business, Eleanor. It would look wrong not to have you by my side,” his voice is more firm than it was previously and he’s doing his best not to appear like a dick. Something he has the tendency to do. “I’m going to need more convincing,” I️ respond as he lowers his shirt to the flooring of the bedroom and he moves closer to me. “How much more?” He murmurs before his lips graze against my own, “because I️ only have five minutes,” his voice is muffled and faint before he kisses me considerately. I️ hold back my own chuckle and the rolling of my eyes, “that’s all it takes.” “Ouch, that’s harsh Eleanor,” Nathan mutters as he extracts away with a heavy exhalation. I️ give him a shrug as I️ press my hands behind me on the bed and lean back, purposely making it easier to toy with him. “Jus’ the truth, Nathan.” His eyes dip from my own and scan me up and down, “Nice dress,” he utters before sauntering his way to the extensive wardrobe that holds more clothes than I️ could have ever envisioned. After a few moments of silence, he steps out and is launching a new button up on, “where’d the chauffeur take you yesterday? What’s his name, Henry?” Nathan questions with a weary tone, his eyes becoming darker as I️ take note of the exhaustion that is settling into him. “I️ don’t know a Henry.” Nathan rolls his eyes at me, “I️ forgot his name,” “That’s because you’re too stuck up to remember any of the names of those who serve around here,” I️ bluntly inform him with a smirk and he huffs, well aware that I’m undividedly correct with my statement. He doesn’t make an effort with the ‘help’, if it wasn’t for me he would forget to pay them half the time. It isn’t uniquely his liability, he doesn’t know any better and sometimes forgets that not everyone is, well, rich. “I’m working on it,” Nathan grunts, “His name is Harry by the way, and your assistant’s name is Brooke, the name you called out during sex one time.” I️ smile widely, my eyes observing the way his jaw clenches at the sound of her name leaving my lips. I️ can’t honestly help but bring it up for entertainment. “It was two years ago, I️ told ye I️ was sorry. Are you going to tell me where you went?” “Mmm, no. But I️ am going to change my dress,” I️ acquaint him as he repeatedly huffs, but this time for my defiance. “The theme is black and white,” “Excellent, I’ll wear red.” I️ overhear him grumble something under his breath before he speaks up, “Eleanor,” Nathan’s voice laments. I️ love when his voice comes off as more of a plea and a beg, particularly when my name is attached to the imploring tone. “Nathan,” I️ mimic his pitch of voice as I️ glance over my shoulder to observe him staring at me. “Woman, you’re going to put me in an early grave.” “That’s the plan,” I️ wink with a grin plastered across my lips. I️ abruptly feel his hands on my waists and he lures me into him as I️ tilt my neck to the side, his lips caressing against the bare skin. “Quit toying with me,” He whispers against the tender skin of my neck and I️ giggle as he lets me go, knowing very well and good he has to leave in a few minutes, despite what he craves. “I️ have to go, I’ll see you in a bit?” I️ turn to face him, my hands now touching against his chest, “Mhm,” I️ hum, “wearing red, of course.” “Please, don’t.” “Going to need more than that to change my mind.” “Fuckin’ hell, you’re definitely something-“ he shakes his head, “behave, don’t wear red for Christ’s sake. Black or white.” He commands substantially while doing his best to read my intentions and my eyes. He can’t determine if I️ am bluffing or not and I️ love it. It’s driving him nuts. Poor fella, he’ll have to wait and see. He kisses the corner of my mouth, “goodbye, be there at seven, sharp. I️ mean it.” Nathan keeps a steady voice with me and I️ nod.

I’ll see him some time at around seven, maybe eight. I make my way down the extravagant staircase, my palm caressed to the bannister as it glides down supremely and effortlessly. I beam as I notice Harry at the bottom of the stairs waiting with a bright-eyed smile. He is attired excellently in a plain, collared white dress shirt, a matching black suit jacket and suit pants accompanied by a black tie that has Nathan’s company logo embroidered on it.

There is something about a man in a suit that turns me on. A man in a uniform executes him to resemble a sophisticated and sharp appearance. A black suit and tie presents my head to spin.

He has this representation to him that is engaging and charming, he is easy on the eyes and just someone that constantly has eyes gazing at him, surely there is a Mrs Styles or a soon to be Mrs Styles. It is hard for me to pry my eyes away from such beauty. He possesses these luminous green eyes that have a tinge of grey to them depending on how the sunlight catches them. His lips are this astonishingly addicting tone of pink that are plethoric and probably harbour the richest, delightful taste one could think of.

I reach the last stair of the staircase I put aside my meandering observations that I shouldn’t be holding, but I can’t help it. “Mr.Styles,” I give him a slight grin as he offers his hand to me. I press my hand delicately in his as I step down off the last stair.

“Mrs Archibald,” Harry nods professionally. He leans closer, giving us just enough distance for him to whisper, “you look lovely, Eleanor.”

“Thank you,” … “You look the same as you always do when you pick me up,” I respond softly as I shift a stray piece of hair behind my ear presenting the diamond earrings the dangle.

Harry guides me towards the doors and we walk out into the cool summer breeze that whistles around the two of us on this early July evening.

Something about the breeze exhibits a strangely calming and soothing feel, maybe it is the warmness that whisks past me or maybe it is the man accompanying me towards the car.

Harry opens the door and I slide into the vehicle with ease before he closes it behind me and resumes to his position in the driver’s seat.

I take a deep breath as I incline against the comfort of the leather seats. It has become a habit that Nathan and I show up to functions separately, half the time it is strictly due to him being too busy to meet me, the other half has an unexplained purpose. It is rare for us to show up coincidentally and to be honest, I considerably love it like this. I cherish having the drive to the varied locations to myself and without Nate speaking business with me.

I lean forward slightly, my dress feeling uncomfortable and I attempt to adjust it before abruptly recognising what the issue is.

Great, just great.

I️ break Harry’s attention and the silence that has swept over us since we left the house. “Harry, would you mind helping me?” “With what, Love?” Harry challenges as I️ adjust my dress and wiggle around slightly, endeavouring to arrange it to better fit my body. “I️ need you to pull over and help me,” “Eleanor, we don’t have time. You’d be late.” I️ raise a brow, somewhat humoured by Harry’s sense of punctuality, he apparently doesn’t know how I️ appreciate irritating my husband and not satisfying his every demand and expectation. “Harold, do you like the paycheck you receive?” “Yes. Ma’am.” “Good, then I’d recommend you pull over. I️ have a wardrobe malfunction.” I️ instruct with authority, not granting him any room to dispute me. I️ grasp the reins when it comes to him when we are alone. Nathan has no damn say in this moment. Harry nods and pulls over rather instantly. He turns to glance at me and I️ give an innocent smile. “My bra strap unclipped, can you please help?” “Uh… hum yes…, no…. I️…um,” he stutters, “I️ don’t think I should.” Harry shakes his head. “Harry, I’m sure you have seen bras and you’re aware most females wear them. Please, just clip it back in.” I️ mutter, positioning myself so my back is facing him. I️ hear him clear his throat before the rustling of his body moving against the leather seats of the car sounds. The stroke of his hand on my bare shoulder transfers shivers down my spine and I️ can’t help but clamp down on my lip.

There is something about his touch that ignites something that I don’t think I have felt before. I can’t put my finger on what it is, nor can I discover the words to desribe it. After a few hushed moments, Harry manages to clip the bra strap before he transfers my hair back over my shoulder. I️ turn around and give him a petite smile as he stares at me for a brief moment.

Did he feel that same unexpected spark? “Thank you,” I️ manifest my appreciation as he shifts around and goes back to driving, taking me by surprise when he grows withdrawn. “Harry, is there a reason why you’re suddenly quiet?” “Eleanor, you are married,” Harry’s voice is thick as the words escape the delicate lips that I desperately desire to latch onto and taste every desiring of them. I roll my eyes and scoff to myself, paying him of no attention despite the fact I can regard him staring at me through the rearview mirror as we are stopped at a red light. “You know, I can still see you roll your eyes at me.” “I didn’t intend to hide it from you, Harry,” I respond swiftly as I cross my leg over the other, adjusting my dress for it rest at my knee modestly. As much as I’d love for it to be bundled up my thigh with a pair of torturous, brazen hands sliding against them, I don’t think that’ll be happening, sadly. I apprehend a heavy breath leave Harry’s lips as we grow soundless and he focuses on driving. It’s not for a brief moment before he again states the obvious, “you’re married and I️ just clipped your bra and—” he trails off. What a sweetheart. Guilty for touching my bra strap. Oh, if only he would touch so much more than just the strap. “Oh, Harold,” I chuckle, observing how his brows furrow into a small frown as he continues to stay concentrated on the road, “my dear, you’re incredibly sweet and naive.” “Ms.Eleanor, I’m not naive. Are you talking down to me?” “No, I am not. But, yes I am married… but only by paper.” “What do you mean by that?” I divert my eyes to rest on my dress, doing my best to avoid any sort of eye contact with Harold, “Again with the innocents,” I breathe while I shake my head subtly to myself. Considering the fact he works for myself and my husband, I would have assumed he grasped by now that marriage is a binding contract that doesn’t necessarily imply it consists of Love. “Harry, my marriage is nothing but a piece of paper scribbled with my initials.” The truth is, I️ doubt there’s any tender devotion left in the marriage, it burned out like an old flame. “I’m not quite sure I understand… so you’re not in love with him?” “Perhaps not,” I lift my shoulders into a shrug, not desiring to deliver the response undeviatingly. I desire to stay vague when it comes to several circumstances and I’m not positive on where Harry’s allegiance lies, with me or Nathan. “Why do you stay with him?” Harry’s voice is effortless as he asks the question that I had anticipated. “Because my vows were until death do us part… neither of us are six feet under, yet,” I respond with honesty as the car proceeds to come to a halt. Harry has successfully driven me to Nate’s obligation— his business function where I️ will be settled on display— similar to a necklace of diamonds.

[jennilah]

tagged by @emmalenagrace​!

Here are the rules:

1. Post the Rules 2. Answer the questions given to you 3. Make 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people HAHA WHHHOOPPS WHOO CROSSED THESE OFF?? HOW SNEAKY..................

1. How long have you been in the Fandom? Oh man well I guess I started around april-may-ish in 2013 so i guess it’s been 4.5 years which is fucked up because it feels like longerrr 2. How did you come across Supernatural? I saw it on my dash a bunch of timess. And I saw the gifs and such out of context and i was trying to absorb what was going on from them. Then I realized I started avoiding them because I didn’t want to be spoiled. That’s when I realized I wanted to watch it.  3. What opportunities have you had through this Fandom? Hmm.... a few I think....... people asked me to participate in fandom projects like art books lately? Because of the, for lack of a better word, popularity that my askblog gave me I have been able to sell more commissions and things... if those count as “opportunities” 4. Do you do any creative content for this Fandom? yea ofc! I draw fanart :) I’ve written a few fics and made some fan videos too.  5. How do you feel about fanart? keep it comin’!! 6. Do you reblog every piece you like/see? I don’t, actually. Idk why. I do when its something that really tickles my fancy though.  7. What inspires you? Other artists, mostly. Makes me want to get better. And the source material obviously, without it I wouldn’t have much to draw.  8. What makes you leave feedback on create work? If I really really love something, like a fic that really blew my mind, I try to drop a comment on ao3 if I remember to c: I know I forget sometimes.. When I reblog art, I know how much I love it when people leave reactions in the tags, so I try to put something even if its just keysmashes.... 9. Have you taken part in any Fandom challenges? (DCBB, etc) I have! I’ve done the ReveseBang a few times, and the DeanCas Secret Santa exchange. I’m doing neither this year though... 10. Would you watch SPN through it’s 20th season? If I am just as into it by a hypothetical 20th season, of course :) I can’t imagine ever suddenly disliking it. I don’t usually ever stop watching ongoing things that I’m really, really into. If I do, its just because my interest died down slowly over time and found a new love. I can’t predict what will happen with spn and me because I can’t see into the future, but I’ve been hyperfocused on it for the longest I’ve ever been hyperfocused on anything, so it’s not going anywhere anytime soon for me.

listen im trash i just i just always take these tagged things and EAT THEM and dont tag anyone in return because i fuckin cant thinnk of the questions im serious i take like an hour to think of these things its kind of ridiculous

[squky]

MysMes Another Story ー Day 7 Phone Call Choices

To avoid spamming yours or other’s dashes, as well as to avoid unwanted spoilers, I will use a read more line. Click to see.

*Note: Due to the HG cost of outgoing calls to Ray and V, and of loading your game, I am only going to go through one call tree for all Ray+V calls and all incoming calls per playthrough of the day. My choices will be marked with a  ✔ in case the conversation choices branches when you make your answer decisions in these calls.

Call times courtesy of Khaleecia’s Call Log, I’ve been printing it out and bring it to work with me for days now~.

Yoosung, (calls you), Day 7, after 1:20am chat

She is... ✔

Let's calm down for a second. You already know the answer.

I'm afraid I can't do that... ✔

I don't think I should tell you. And this isn't the time for that...!

Do you have to keep whining?

Some things are better left unknown. ✔

Ray, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 1:20am chat

How are you doing?

What are you doing? ✔

Who are you playing with? ✔

You're playing? I thought you're fighting Seven right now.

No, I love this place! ✔

I wanna go home... with V.

Jumin, (calls you), Day 7, after 2:32am chat

Does that actually help?

I wanna do that, too! ✔

Would you like to give you a hug? (again, grammar is like that)

Try watching a black-and-white film. ✔

Take a deep breath.

It feels like we're collecting puzzles and putting them together. ✔

Why don't you start talking about V's eyes?!

Zen, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 2:32am chat

Zen, are you alight?

Is Jumin alright?

Is Yoosung alright?

I'm fine.

I'm fine. It's just that I'm a little nervous.

This place is good.

What do you want from me?

I'm sorry. I don't know anything.

Yoosung,Outgoing call, Day 7, after 2:32am chat

Things are kind of crazy, aren't they?

Did you get some sleep?

There's nothing you can trust in this world.

Yoosung... You should get a grip on yourself.

I'm sure there was a good reason for both of them.

I don't understand, either.

Life is hopeless.

You were grieving in your own way. It doesn't mean your grieving becomes meaningless.

I don't know... Even if I tell you, does that make a difference?

I'm not sure what's going on, either... And I'm afraid I'm not supposed to talk about it.

Ray, (calls you), Day 7, after 6:55am chat

No, I'm about to.

I did. did you get something, too? ✔

Steak.

I get a bowl of soup and rice.

I didn't eat breakfast before. ✔

I prefer Chinese or Japanese.

Yes, she is. ✔

I don't think she's really interested in me...

Jumin, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 6:55am chat

You must be worried about V.

What were V and Rika like to you?

You're so calm in this situtation.

I agree with you!

But if I tell you, wouldn't it negatively affect V?

There's nothing much I can help you with. V's already... Uh, nothing.

...Could you pray for us?

Let's talk again.

707, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 6:55am chat

You really thing so?

Enemy...? I think I'm gonna cry.

If I tell you, V might be in danger...

Sorry... They might be monitoring this call.

To your place?

You should take a break. You might fall unconscious if you work nonstop.

Jaehee, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 8:45am

Did you get your meals?

It's me. I was worried about you.

I'm fine, sort of...

I think everything has been unleashed from hiding...to be unraveled now.

I think I like this place. So don't worry.

No need to worry about me! I know you're busy.

You want me to care abut the party in this situation?

We need to hose the party successfully!

[Missed 707's Incoming call, after the 11:51am chat]. 

V, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 11:51am chat 

 [No choices] 

Zen, (calls you), Day 7, after, 3:38pm chat.  Note: (I could really use some help with contributions to the different choice trees with this one...)

You rehearsed...when everything's so crazy? ✔

How was the rehearsal?

Why do you feel complicated?

I like how I'm doing right now, I'll chose the money! ✔

I'm going to save it.

I'm going to make more investment and get even more! ✔

Get everything I want!

I'm going to get 1 billion and go back to time.

I'm going to go back to the past and change everything.

Please take care of him ~

Bye, Zen.

Zen, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 5:45pm chat. (or, the chat that had my mind go right into the gutter～) (someone, please turn this into a fic...)

Uh, Zen, it's me...

What makes you feel so good?

Wow, must be feeling good ~

I know how to do the massage well...

Are you sure you're getting a massage?

And to whom do your lips belong to?

Okay, I hope you enjoy your massage.

Jaehee, (calls you), Day 7, after 7:24pm chat

I'm fine! ✔

You look terribly busy.

I can hear a head of a team on the other side!

Please, Tell me more about the unit! ✔

You sound like you have nothing to do.

You and coffee are a perfect match... ✔

Perhaps it's because he has too much money? ✔

You have no idea how jolly he is ~

Ray, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 7:24pm chat

Is V alright?

I want to see you soon. ✔

Well, I don't know... ✔

There's a limit to what I can tell them. I thinnk their reactions are mixed.

I think they're rather calmer than I thought. ✔

They're going hectic. They don't know what to do.

Of course. ✔

...

Yoosung, Outgoing call, Day 7, after 9:29pm chat

Why the sudden sigh...? What's wrong, Yoosung?

Are you still havign a hard time?

What kind of mime is it?

I wanna see too!

Do't feel guilty.

But even if you feel guilty, that won't help us in this situation.

End.

Contributions to missed calls or choices I don’t have listed are more than welcome!

[mizushiba]

Yo about Overwatch, feel free to not do everything or just take your time or skip some and I know we pay together but like.... ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS?? IM CURIOUS!

dude youre killig me …. but im bored so im going to do it

1. Who is your defense main? .. i dont really play defence

2. Who is your support main? at first Mercy but now Zenyatta

3. Who is your offense main? Phara

4. Who is your tank main? at first Orisa but now DVA

5. Who is you MAIN main? i have most hours played as orisa, but i dont really have a main main char

6. Which character have you played the least? genji, widow, reaper,mccre,hanzo,tracer, 

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play? hanzo bc i love his new skin

8. Which character do you dislike the most? fucking bastion

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most? mccree

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least? idk all of em r pretty cool tbh

11. Which map is your favorite? Volskaya Industries

12. Which map is your least favorite? Nepal

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite? Flag and random heroes

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite? 1v1

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games? quick

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena? escort

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena? control

18. Which event map was your favorite? ….

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite? ….

20. Which event was your favorite?….

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite? like all from Year of the Rooster

22. Which event was your least favorite? ….

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite? sports

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite? golden mercy

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite? Rein Bundeswehr

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting? i need that lucio skin from this event

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary? ….

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement? no

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement? no 

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement? no

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement? no

32. What was the first achievement you got? power of friendship (i think thats the right translation)

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge? ….

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you? pharah “Clearing the Area“ bc i cant aim for shit, i got by pure luck and got even potg for that

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode? 2142

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive? 2192

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won? 6? i dot realyy remember

38. How many gold guns do you have? none

39. Which was the first gold gun you got? …..

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want? mercy and zen

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive? support or tank

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not? ppl r screaming at me :))))

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future? another Halloween

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future? uuhhhh idk

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future? zen and zarya

46. What country would you like a new character to come from? Poland would be cool but i know that would never happen lol 

47. Favorite voice line? “in russia games play you” “welcome to the gun show” i love zaryas voice lines

48. Favorite player icon? rn i have lunar ops, would love to get six-gun killer

49. Favorite emote? all dances tbh

50. Favorite spray? the pixel ones r cute

51.Favorite victory pose? the reapers shrug

52. Favorite highlight intro? Symmetra “my reality”

53. Characters you ship the most? mchanzo i think

54. Characters you ship the least? i dont really get dva and lucio as a romantic relationship tbh but ship what you want dudes

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions? mccree and hanzo, tbh anything with mccree i just love Mercer too much

56. Character you wish had a comic about? Mercy, hanzo, dva

57. Favorite comic released? reinhart one

58. Favorite short released? infiltration

59. Favorite new character released? i love em all dont make me choose

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon? blackwatch

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic? pro 

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.) efi

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most? ….

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least? …..

65. Best ultimate? dva, lucio

66. Worst ultimate? ana, tracer

67. Most kills in game? 29

68. Most heals in game? 12121

69. What character do you think needs a nerf? idk

70. What character do you think needs a buff? idk

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game? not really bc if i quit i dont get the exp ;) ( ok i think i quit once bc my team was blaming me a fucking zen for loosing like chill its just a quick game)

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game? i just played a game in competitive where we finished like under 2 min which was crazy 

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game? pretty fast i thinnk 2 or 3 mins

74. Your best Overwatch-related story? ??? ???? ?? ?

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch? i killed widow as a zen while she killed me, that happen 3 times in one match 

76. Platform you play on? pc

77. Do you stream? no, sometimes i post fun potg

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends? usually with @irabelasfenharel ;) or solo

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch? i guess so??

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch? nah

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch? nah

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive? the one im rn which is 2142

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role? …..

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One Kill,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker? …….

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog? …..

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo? hanzo

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload? im usualy only one on it (if i play alone thats it)

88. Does your team? fucking no 

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played? all day? idk from 9 am to 3am ?? but had a brake in the middle

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem? mystery

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character? fucking soldier

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character? lucio ;-; not even one skin

93. Have you ever made your own custom game? nope

94. Best D.Va skin? B.Va and Cruiser

95. Best Mercy skin? witch

96. Best Tracer skin? cadet oxton

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO? nooooo

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters? give me robots

99. Is there are character you’d get rid of completely? widow? idk

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is? ???????????

i put “….” where was questions about stuff i wasnt present on like old events or smething

aslo now your turn @irabelasfenharel ;)

[dovley]

lmao work rant under the cut

i like my job a LOT it’s really the job i wanted out of college but i just thinnk it’s dumb that i havent even GRADUATED YET and i have to teach this new part-timer (Mandy, 2 months at this job so far, 30 years old, minimal TV experience, no news experience) everything that i learned in 4 years for free and she basically gets paid for it. she’s not even an intern. how she’d fucking get this job. 

and she sstill doesn’t get it. she doesn’t understand a newsroom or news stations at all even after being here two months. and i dont know if she’s jsut a slow learner or what but it doesn’t matter because it’s like she doesnt even want to learn?? and yet she’s always touching stuff she’s not supposed to and not staying in her lane bc she’s eager to learn etc and SHE HASN’T LEARNED A THING. so frustrating to finally get a job i really like that’s full time in MY FIELD and out of nowhere this woman w no experience snags a job at the station and essentially ruins the status quo of the morning show by not knowing anything and having minimal TD experience. And it’s not even the right kind of TD experience. and she wasn’t even hired as a TD and yet SHE’S PUSHED HERSELF OVER THERE. GO BACK TO CG MANDY STOP FUCKING UP MY SHOW?? EVERYTHING SHE FUCKS UP REFLECTS BACK ON ME, THE DIRECTOR.

and im trying to be positive about teaching her things (everyone in the control room needs to learn all positions anyway)  but it’s hard. im literally not even graduated and now i gotta teach her everything that took everyone in my class four years to learn??? shooting for news is HARD, commanding an entire control room is HARD, there are classes for a reason and im not exactly qualified to be a teacher. im just a person in college who knows how to do shit. 

and it’s literally not just “this is how we do things at THIS news station” like we have w the interns and other new workers, it’s entirely THIS IS HOW A NEWS STATION WORKS THIS IS HOW NEWS WORKS like she’s a blank slate. what the fuck. why do i get stuck w this kind of junk all the time???????? i have such bad luck. 

we literally had to have one on one meetings w our news director today because of how much tension sh’es been creating in the news room, too. like not only is she hardly absorbing anything, she’s RUDE. all the time. anytime anything goes wrong, she talks back when SHE fucks up. im her director, her only job as a TD is to git gud and listen to my commands and do them. that’s it. that’s the basic TD job. and yet here she is, ignoring me, fucking up the show, getting mad at US when SHE fucks up. we all had meetings w news director Julie bc Julie listened to the control room track from the other day (all convos are recorded, I know this). 

Here’s what happened: we were in a sports package, and the reporter was still talking. I say, “ready three” AS I ALWAYS DO, and instead of READYING THREE (by putting it in preview, not live) she TAKES TO THREE. and suddneyl the anchors are live and the package is still happening. and i say “go back” and she doesn’t do anything (WHICH IS SUCH A HUGE NO-NO IN A CONTROL ROOM, NOT LISTENING TO YOUR DIRECTOR IS SUCH A BAD THING BECAUSE NOT ONLY ARE YOU GETTING YOURSELF IN DEEP SHIT, BUT YOU FUCK UP THE SHOW FOR ///EVERYONE/// INVOLVED), so louder i say GO BACK and she said “well we’re here now” and that’s not???????? what you fucking say?????????? as a TD, you do NOT decide what’s going on. you do NOT get to decide cameras. you are NOT in control. YOU DO NOT JUST SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING. im completely helpless when that happens because she controls everything that’s live on the TV. i could reach over and do it myself but that’s such a huge other issue.

so i do what we’re supposed to: MOVE ON. i silence the package, cue the anchors, and MOVE ON. Mandy has SUCH AN ISSUE W MOVING ON. she can’t. she gets stuck on one thing. she always has to question my calls during the show, EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS NOTHING!! SHE DIDNT CUT ANY VIDEO SHE DIDNT ATTACH IT SHE DOESN’T HAVE A SCRIPT IN FRONT OF HER. she litrally knows NOTHING and yet here she is, questioning MY CALLS. and when she does that, i have to double check to mkae sure that everything is good to go, which takes up valuable time during the show. 

so then, during the show i think or during break?? or SOMETHING, she turns aroudn to the producer, and RUDELY says:

Mandy: hey pete, have you ever TD’d before?

pete: ... yes

mandy: did you mess up

pete: all the time

mandy: OKAY [turns around]

-

???????? NOT OKAY AT ALL. our new control room intern said she was uncomfortable because of that. when mandy becomes rude and aggressive, she makes ERVERYONE uncomfortable and she doesn’t even know. she’s so self-centered she doesn’t know she’s making it bad for EVERYONE. 

she always tries to initiate dumb convo during the show. she doesnt know how to sit down shut up move on. 

another example: we had one anchor at camera one, and we had a graphic in the screen behind them. a video the anchor was talking over was live, and we were going to camera three after his voice over, NOT CAMERA ONE. so, this exchange happens:

mandy: can i put x-server in aux 5? (this changes the graphic on the screen in camera 1 from the story we’re talking about to a standard one we use for tosses.)

me: ready cam 3

mandy: ... x-server??

me: no, leave it. ready 3.

mandy: what do you want me to do with the vertical plasma?????

me: nothing, we’re not coming out to it we’re going out to camera three.

mandy: i need to know

me, frantically BECAUSE WE’RE LOSING TIME IN THE V-O AND WE NEED TO BE OUT TO CAMERA THREE: /nothing,/ it’s not important we’re not coming out to cam 1, ready three.

mandy: okay but what aobut the plasma??

me: we’re coming out to CAMERA THREE.

mandy, aggressively: okay, DIRECTOR

-

OKAY LIEK WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH THIS?? WHY WAS SHE SO CAUGHT UP ON SOMETHING WE DIDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH AND COULD RESET DURING BREAK IN LITERALLY 1 MINUTE????/ it’s so hard to focus on that and the show im suppsoed to be directing like GOD, LEAVE IT.

-

back to learning, i literally had to explain a basic rundown to her for like an hour the other day while we sat down to talk .because i wanted to have a meeting to iron out some things such as her attitude and the show. because she doesn’t understand that nothing in the show is permanent, it’s constantly getting moved around and changed and added to. she doesn’t undestand there isn’t a formula to it. her only job is to listen to me. and when she tries to find a “rhythm” she starts ignoring my calls more and fucking up. it’s so annoying. everything she does that fucsk up live reflects back on Pete and I. also im her fuckening supervisor,,,,,,,,

I had to explain how to shoot news today. she didn’t understand what the anchor wanted from a wide shot, medium, and close up. the most basic of shots. or even how long to stay on a shot. or how the camera worked.

and i know she doesn’t have a degree and i am NOT criticizing her for that - college is hard and expensive and not everyone can do it, but you think she’d at least try?? harder???? try to fit in better????? not be a DICK at a job she wants to “be at for a long time” ?? apparently she told our tech guy that she doesn’t fit in. Julie told me that she feels like she has to prove something to us, that she can do it. well she’s not proving anything. she said we feel “clique-ish” in the news room. we’re literally not. at the end of the day we’re all just coworkers at a job. the difference between her and us is that we all have journalism backgrounds. and i have always tried to include her in everything, i have invited her up to the newsroom SO MANY TIMES, and other things but she never comes. if she wants to see change, she can make it herself. im done trying. i’ve given her so many chances. 

our new intern, Tiffany, who was hired on my recommendation, already knows more things than Mandy just because she follows me around and is present and doesn’t hide in the control room. everyone likes Tiffany because Tiffany comes upstairs and says good morning. our live reporter says that Mandy ignores him when they’re outside smoking. she wants to fit in and be friends w everyone and yet she’s IGNORING EVERYONE. if she was even the least bit personable everyone would be fine w her. but she’s not.

and she told Tiffany that she feels “under appreciated” at the station because she’s working all the time, three jobs etc. guess what. Tiffany and I both have three jobs AND class. Tiffany is even full-time in college. im only part time and finally dropping my two other jobs since i got a promotion at the station, but still. you’re not under appreciated Mandy, you’re just never around. 🙄

she said she would help w camera shots, but when i offer them to her, she says no. she wants to know font times for packages, but never comes upstairs. like????????????????????? MAKE A FUCKING EFFORT. IT’S 3 AM WE’RE ALL TIRED BUT YOU SIT IN THE CONTROL ROOM FOR 40 MINUTES JUST READING BEFORE THE SHOW. YOU HAVE TIME TO LEARN.

and she doesn’t understand how hard it is to direct, produce, or even write for news. you can’t just learn that stuff in a week. i went to college for a reason. it would take me MONTHS to even get her director ready. i slid over into my position immediately upon being offered it, just because i had expereince. if she even tried to direct, it owuld be an absolute disaster. the kids in the basic directing class on campus even struggle a lot. it’s really hard. and producing is so much fucking work. so much. Pete gets there two hours earlier than i do - midnight or 1 am. our show doesn’t start until 5 am. 

and on campus, the basic directing class should be easy. but it’s so much info crammed in, even in a semester. they print out scripts and mark them up with their commands. at the station, i have the rundown+scripts on an ipad and i dont write any commands. i just look at the rundown and instantly know what we’re doing. and i do this for two hours. the new directors on campus cant even go for 3 minutes w/o fucking up. it’s HARD. like i pick up on shit fast but for my first few shows i was struggling HARD. and Mandy is the type of person to jsut give up when it gets too hard, which you absolutely CANNOT do during a live show. you can’t abandon your own show. it fucks up the ENTIRE show. that’s on TV. that people are watching. it affects the anchors, it reflects on the station. it’s going to be hard to teach her. and i think it’s gonig to be frustrating for her to learn because Tiffany at least has a little directing experience and will probably pick up on it faster. 

Mandy apparently once complained during her first month that she was in the “intern chair” when she was working CG. that’s not an intern chair?? we put interns there, sure, but people at the late show have been doing CG for years. it’s just another position. also the thing is is that mandy knows less than an intern so i’d literally rather have an intern anyway lol. 

Mandy has legitimately given me so much anxiety i went home from work crying last week. work was so chill until she showed up. 

this is really long and i have more to say but this is enough. it’s past my bedtime lmao bye