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#multi and cal
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[Photo ID: A three part comic including my sona cal (a six legged opossum-moth) and my partner's sona multi (the bunny-kitty).
Panel one- Cal is scurrying away on all fours, something bulging in their mouth as Multi (on two legs) chases after them in concern yelling "What's in your mouth?!"
Panel two- Multi has caught Cal and holds a hand out. With stern concern they tell the distraught Cal to "Spit it out".
Panel three- Multi now has a wet rock in their hand as they now look distraught they ask "Why...?". Cal, still distraught simply states, "Vibe check."
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multi-lefaiye · 2 months
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average queer people friend group
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younger & older CAL STONE — requested by anonymous
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raayllum · 2 years
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Rayla + the two humans she loves the most
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mmcringelordmcgee · 2 years
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SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THIS MEANS SURVIVOR IS GONNA BE MULTIPLAYER PLEASE I’M BEGGING EA TO MAKE THIS MULTIPLAYER I’M BEGGING
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beowner · 2 years
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i’ve successfully bullied my two besties into watching tl so i can write with them again 😌
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sk-willow · 2 years
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cal Kestis & Trilla Suduri | Second Sister, Cere Junda & Trilla Suduri | Second Sister, Merrin & Trilla Suduri | Second Sister, Cal Kestis & Merrin, Cere Junda & Cal Kestis Characters: Trilla Suduri | Second Sister, Cal Kestis, Merrin (Star Wars), Cere Junda, The Mantis Crew (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Trilla Suduri | Second Sister Lives, Trilla Suduri | Second Sister Needs a Hug, Wookiee Culture and Customs (Star Wars), Redemption, Family Dynamics Series: Part 7 of ASW_MW-2022 Summary:
Trilla actúa diferente durante los sucesos del videojuego, la fuerza le da una familia a cambio.
Link a Wattpad
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Pretending like my math homework isn’t in my backpack. It’s not working.
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futurefind · 2 months
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//thinking abt making charas oc/fake gameplay kits is so funny bc its like...... in more limited/strict formats like g.n.sh.n ur Mandated to get locked into x amnt of skills and maybe multiple ults if ur lucky. on top of sliding scale of 'public'/shared skill pools like fe
and then theres wuwa making me scream into a cup bc its Exact Execution is so gd fucking flexible you can do whatever you fucking want, basically, which is to say IVE GOT NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR SA...
like yeah sure no player-made walls/constructs to parkour off of but also whos to say that wont be made later...
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bluexiao · 2 years
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#second lead syndrome… or is it really?
–when they couldn’t confess their love for you, thinking you love someone else / seeing you with someone, looking in love, how would they react?
CHARACTERS. Albedo, Al-Haitham, Ayato, Cyno, Heizou, Kazuha, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer / Scaramouche, Xiao, Zhongli; gn! Reader
THEMES. Some angst, some crack, and some fluff, (pick your fighter); non-established relationship (yall are not together, just friends)
NOTES. first ever multi hc for this year! yayy happy new year everyone~
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ZHONGLI knew he was a god, and you weren’t. And even still, a part of him dreaded—desired you in a way that he never thought he would in a human. You were supposed to be one of his people.
But now he loves you more than that. And there only lies the question if you love him too.
Yet despite the dread to hold you in his arms and to proclaim of such mortal feelings he had attained for you, he holds back and forces himself to watch from afar. For a god like him has no reason to meddle with the fate of humans like you—no matter how he claims to be a mortal himself with the name he bears now.
And so, all he could do was watch you from afar, eyes fixed as if he was watching a theatre play unfoldon a stage that he chose to be an audience to, whereas the main lovers fall for each other, and all he could do was watch.
But then your eyes suddenly met, your smile like the sun that scorched his being, a gentle wave with your haand as you cal his name; “Zhongli! Can you come over here, will you?” It wasn’t even his real name, merely an identity he had chosen to keep as a result of wanting to live a mortal life.
A mortal life.
Maybe he should try living more with that—with you, he hopes.
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
XIAO has no use for love. Such a measly thing it is—to devote oneself to another with just mere feelings and empty words of promises.
And so Xiao stands on the top of the inn, looking down, his spear nowhere to be found, arms folded over his chest, and gaze directly focused–your way.
You were talking and laughing at a certain human, looking ever so comfortable as you usually do with him–or maybe you were always like this to others, and that includes him.
Then, as if you had sensed his presence, you looked up to where he was, but he was far gone, disappearing as if he was never there. If he had only stayed and seen the frown on your face, he wouldn’t have had to waste his time hiding away from you.
Xiao, he soon realizes, does have a use for love, as this ache inside his chest is something he cannot quell just by merely equipping his spear and defeating monsters.
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
WANDERER was never such a patient man. And besides, he isn’t even human.
It took a while to accept his… circumstances, and once he does, he will be very obvious with his so-called “feelings”, usually sticking to your side most of the time and glaring at practically anyone who would so much as dare to glance your way.
And as much as he is always near you, he will eventually notice whoever you will pay attention to–especially ones that would be constantly haggling over your sight. But he doesn’t do anything about it–doesn’t confess, doesn’t try to talk and ask to confirm his suspicions. Does he need to? No. He does not need affirmations because he is perfect enough to not need one–a perfect being who did not need such things as “love”, or “partner”s.
The words will die down in his mind when he sees you with someone else, however, form already right beside you as he finds himself glaring at whoever it was, “Oh realy? I can do that ten times better than you can,” he’d bark, already mocking at everything that the person does or claims themselves to be. Don’t misunderstand the Wanderer, he just thinks that this stranger is just too useless, you don’t need to waste your time over them.
‘But they’re human, unlike you,’ a voice inside his mind would say, but bites his lips, not letting that slip through his mouth.
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
VENTI sings praises and is full of love. He is the god of freedom and the wind. He is a bard for goodness’ sake.
“I am but a simple bard, how in Teyvat would they even see a person such as I am worthy of them?” he cried theatrically as he took a chug of his wine–or whatever it was in the bottle in his hand. But no matter how much he looks, the weight in his heart was very much real nonetheless, the memory of you with someone else plaguing his mind.
A god such as him losing to a mortal over your love. What could anyone possibly say if they hear of such a tale? Perhaps he may just end up writing a song of his broken heart to somehow ease the pain. At least thatw ay, he could Mora…
But one must never underestimate a god’s love… as eh might find himself crawling back to your arms tomorrow morning.
He has a lifetime to win your heart, after all.
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TIGHNARI felt his feelings of care for you were normal. Of course, maybe he only favors you among the rest, even against his fellow rangers.
And something so normal is not supposed to bother him even in times when he’s supposed to be focusing. The forest is an unpredictable and dangerous place.
“What seems to be bothering you, Master?”
He halts from his tracks and turns to the other, “It’s nothing, Collei.”
But it’s not really “nothing” if he ends up walking away after reprimanding you and one of the other rangers for “lazing around”. And yes, that same one who had been lurking around near you lately, especialy when he’s not around.
Clearly, there must be something going on between that person and you. Of course, he could not possibly let anyone be so lax with this work, even if it’s you.
“You’re probably jealous, aren't you, Master? Aren’t you and Y/n dating?”
Colei can see and atone to how the other freezes—his tail and ears as well, and all he could do was watch as Collei giggles at him while nudging him with her elbows.
“Master and Y/n look very good together, and don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret if that’s what you want!”
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
For once, KAZUHA was out of words.
Peace can be associated with silence, but silence is not always at peace–and now, the wind was completely silent.
“Not going to Y/n, kid?” Beidou stands next to him with crossed arms as they both have eyes focused your way. She sighs while she shakes her head, “Are you letting them go that easily?”
He feels his stomach drop, but the ghost of a smile on his lips masks the feelings he has inside. “They don’t belong to anyone but themselves, and that includes me,” he looks away and turns around, the breeze slapping his face just as much as reality does, “they are free to love, even if it will not be me.”
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HEIZOU knows everything.
But this one he just found out is probably one of the things he just wished he didn’t find out.
Well, technically, it was a good thing!, he says to himself. After all… he always teased you and now, he probably did the right thing instead of… telling the truth.
Ah, by all means, he is no hypocrite. But, he does wonder when you had liked another person, and why? Surely, he had made himself known to you, with your daily meetups and banters, and you were even his “partner” in a case once. Perhaps he relied in his ability far too much that he forgot purpose for all of his efforts.
The least he could do was to support you in the sidelines… right? Surely he doesn’t like you that much to remain helpless in this situation.
When he saw you with that person the next day, he knew his resolve was far gone.
He must definitely find out what made you fall in love with this person…
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CYNO does not know what he was going to do. And so, what does he do?
He hides in the corner and observes.
Of course, he can just walk right past both you and the person who you’ve been eating lunch with for the past hour, but for some reason, he can’t. Something about the scene right in front of him makes him want to interrogate the person; what their job was, who their family are, what other things they do—they cannot possibly hang with you if they have a bad record. All the more, what if they have bad intentions towards you?
And so, with his mind made up, that was what he does. At least, intends to do until you saw him and he met your eyes.
“Cyno! There you are, I’ve been waiting for you!” Once you had caled him oevr, the person scrambles up an excuse and runs away as soon as they can, even stumbling over a few times.
All Cyno could do was watch as the perosn runs away and sighs, sitting right beside you and crosses his arms.
“Who was that? What do they do? Are they from the Akademiya? I haven’t seen them before.”
“Oh, I don’t know, they just came here and sat in front of me.”
He is definitely hunting down that person until his questions are diminished.
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What AYATO wants, Ayato gets.
Of course, that does not mean that he treats everything or everyone lightly, on the contrary, he does what he can to attain anything or anyone that he sees as valuable. With someone of his caliber, it would not be too difficult to get people to turn his way.
You, however, was someone who piqued his interest. Yet despite this, he lets you be, not doing anything… until he had seen you with someone else—a retainer of another Commissioner.
He reasons with himself that he only stepped beside you and piped in to the conversation out of being wary towards the other retainer—eh coudl not possibly have you, his friend, to be too exposed with the works of the Tri-Commision now, right?—and with his position and words, the retainer soon walks away.
“Now that they are gone, what do you say about having tea with me this afternoon, Y/n? Unless you have a scheduled date with that… retainer.” He tries to mask his disbelief, and thankfuly, you didn’t notice.
He ignores how you looked away, seemingly flustered for a moment as you mumble a small “Sure… and we’re not dating, master Ayato… it’s not like that.”
He looks away with a smile. Certainly, this is far better.
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
ALHAITHAM is rational. Most of the time.
“O-Of course, The Scribe must be very knowledgeable, compared to a lowly person like me,” says the other person that Al-Haitham did not really catch the name of right after he just questioned the person’s intelligence (very subtly at that).
“Oh come on, you’re not lowly-“
“This is why it is important to raise our knowledge, even to the little things, as we do not know what we might encounter. If you want, I can even refer you to the Akademiya, you don’t need to thank me.”
“I-I’ll think about it… thank… I mean, see you later, Y/n… and Scribe Al-Haitham,” the person sooner leaves without any more fight.
“Hey…. What is it with you? Something ruined your morning or something?” You npeered at him and he merely looks away whilst clearing his throat.
‘We were losing our time. I wanted to eat our lunch as soon as possible. Why? Are you suposed to be on a date with that… person?”
“What? What on Teyvat are you saying?” Your reply makes him crack a smirk. Of course, he was right. How could he even think that you were dating that person… at least, he won’t let that happen.
┌───────── ·  ·  ·  · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊
ALBEDO respects you a lot. A whole lot.
Yet that respect comes with admiration, and sooner, he realizes that this admiration might have been stronger than he had thought the moment he saw you with someone else.
He does not engage, however, merely waiting until you had finished your conversation with that certain someone, looking quite joyful than any time else, more than the times you had spent with him, actually.
“Albedo! There you are,” you grinned at him after walking away, even looking back at the figure of the person you had talked to.
His eyes peers at you like a hawk, taking note of everything; with the brightness of your smile, to the shine in your eyes, and to the giggle that erupts from your lips.
Had he ever seen such qualities in your face before? He couldn’t help but question himself as you send him one as well.
“Sorry, just got immersed in the topic… shall we go?”
He forces out a smile—which seemed real nonetheless, “Of course.”
“Hm?” You tilt your head to the side, “Is something the matter?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” he immediately answers, thinking that you probably had noticed his staring. He raises his hand and smiles, “shall we?”
He squeezes your hand when you willingly took his. Ah, maybe he could be greedy… just this time, he thinks.
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comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated! ♡
taglist on reblogs!
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multi-lefaiye · 8 months
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me: i think eden definitely puts his mom on a pedestal on his memories of her. not to say she wasn't a good person and wasn't an okay mom most of the time, but she also was pretty terrible at times.
cal: oh for sure
me: i just think eden's brain right now only has room to process trauma relating to ONE shitty parent at a time.
cal: yeah lmao and abdiel is the worse one by a long shot
me: exactlyyyy
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aurelion-solar · 1 year
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HEARTSTEEL BIO & MEMBERS
HEARTSTEEL is a virtual pop group featuring reimagined versions of League of Legends champions Kayn, Ezreal, Sett, Yone, K’Sante, and Aphelios. A group of dynamic daredevils dedicated to unapologetic individuality and bold, creative expression, HEARTSTEEL is set to blaze a path to success on their own terms after each member's failed solo careers. The group’s personality and sound draws inspiration from modern music collectives, and a range of influences from across genres and eras, culminating in a bold and fearless one-of-a-kind identity. The band’s debut single, PARANOIA, pushes the boundaries of pop music with an eclectic infusion of hip hop and electronic influences and relentless, playful energy.
SETT is the founder and co-leader of HEARTSTEEL, who started the band after being dropped from his first label. Inspired by the bold, aggressive styles of hip-hop, Sett designed the group's outfits for the PARANOIA music video and collaborated with ØZI on his rap verse.
As HEARTSTEEL’s co-leader, K'SANTE uses his talents as a singer and creative director to shape the band’s vision. In collaboration with Tobi Lou, K’Sante’s emotionally-attuned lyricism draws inspiration from R&B and hip-hop.
EZREAL first rose to stardom through a manufactured bubblegum-pop hit. As part of HEARTSTEEL, he’s found new freedom in controlling what he creates. Collaborating with BAEKHYUN of EXO, this charming vocalist takes inspiration from his fans around the world.
KAYN is a wildcard, channeling his rebellious streak through Rhaast, his onstage alter-ego. Kicked out of his former band, the multi-genre rapper and instrumentalist leans into everything new and experimental. Collaborating with Cal Scruby, Kayn pushes the envelope wherever he is.
As HEARTSTEEL’s primary instrumentalist and lyricist, APHELIOS brings a quiet genius to the band’s songwriting and composition. Though he rarely speaks, his pursuit of musical perfection guides the group. With his array of instruments (and a little help from his twin sister Alune), Aphelios aims for new creative heights.
Once a producer on international pop hits, YONE grew disillusioned with the music industry’s idea of success. Now revitalized as part of HEARTSTEEL, Yone brings an analytical focus and sharp production skills to the band. His passion for electronic music and meticulous attention to detail shapes their sound.
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raayllum · 1 year
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For the good of the world
But to Runaan and those like your parents, love is rooted in all families, all creatures... Souls like that feel called to protect everyone as fiercely as those they hold dear. Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing that he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may need to sacrifice everything, himself, and all that we have here. 
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artists-ally · 2 months
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{Train Wreck} Cassian!sister x Azriel AU {Pt. 1}
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Man it feels good to be back with this series again. If you're wondering why the title feels familiar, you might have read this before. I decided I wanted to pick it back up again, but I needed to make a few changes. So, here is the revised version of Train Wreck!! Feel free to re-read, there are some new things here and there, so it's definitely worth it!! Anyway, enjoy my loves! Part 2 will be up soon!! Title and series inspired by this song!
Word Count: 8,587
Warnings: angst, language, traumatized characters (will come into play later in the series, you've been warned now), abandonment,
Tagging: @thelov3lybookworm @needylilgal022 @librafairy @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @sarawritestories @claireswritingcorner @dawneternal @ninthcircleofprythian @blessthepizzaman @lady-of-tearshed @pit-and-the-pen
Summary: After six years, this is the first time Ira and her brother Cassian have been in the same room. Under less than ideal circumstances, they're forced to meet again. Will Ira be able to forgive Cassian for the way he left things? Will she be able to trust the new friends she makes? Will she ever be able to open up to her brothers hot-shot best friend?
~~~~~
“He’s going to say no.” No response from the peanut gallery in the front seat. “Seriously, he’s not going to be okay with this. You might as well let me out of the car now.”
“Will you just be quiet?” Arthur snapped, eyes locking with mine from the rearview mirror. “Need I remind you that this is your fault. You’ve left us with no other option.”
“I told you, it wasn’t me. That was–” “Cal, I remember the story. And that’s all that it is. A story, a fabrication that Arthur and I are no longer going to be entangled in. You may be able to fool the police with that lie, but you can’t fool us, Ira,” Dana snapped, whirling around to shoot me some daggers. She couldn’t look intimidating if she tried; her face was like a bunny, and every time she frowned it just looked like she smelled something rotten.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. There was no way he was going to take me. We hadn’t spoken in almost six years, I didn’t even know he was alive until three months ago when I heard about his engagement.
Fourteen years of growing up together meant nothing to him, I guess.
The big, riverside house came into view at the end of an equally impressive driveway. A shame for whoever had to go and collect the mail every morning. 
“Stay here, in the car,” Arthur barked. 
I opened the door and got out of the car, kicking a few stones. Man this place was flashy; a big fountain in the circular driveway, a line of cars over by a garage. Not to mention the very obvious multi-million dollar mansion that never seemed to end.
“Lord, give me the strength to not strangle this child,” Arthur sighed, marching to the front door. I snickered, he was always so uptight.
“Not a child, Arthur,” I countered. “I’m fucking twenty years old.”
“Give it a rest, Ira. We’re trying to help you since you clearly don’t understand the basic human morals of being a functioning member of society,” Dana said, opening the trunk, catching a bag as it tumbled from the stack.
“Sorry that I don’t like to conform to the idealistic fantasy that is modern society.” 
Turns out it’s hard to get a job with a criminal record. ‘We can’t hire a liability’ this and ‘we won’t have delinquents running our business’ that. So, I had to get creative with my… places of employment. It had been a fantastic plan. Brilliant even. Just something simple to save a few bucks so I could move out of this god forsaken place. But it got fucked up. Bad. And ended up with me in handcuffs.
This was my punishment. Instead of serving six months in county jail, I’m instead being dumped at this doorstep. Just what I always wanted. Knowing if I ever go back to the shithole I called home I’ll be arrested with a warrant.
I’ll never go in on a deal with someone ever again. 
“Get your stuff,” Dana dropped a few things to the ground. 
I came around the side of the car and heard the door open, and that lovely voice of his ring through my head. 
Great. This is going to go fantastic.
“Arthur? W-What are you doing here?” he said, a hiccup to his voice. 
“Cassian, good to see you,” the old man grinned, extending his hand. I watched through the windows of the van, saw Cassian stare at Arthurs hand and do nothing with it. “We uhh… we have something for you.”
“I don’t understand. How’d you find me?”
I could hear the crunch of gravel and I knew what was about to happen. Any second now I was about to come face to face with the douchebag I was dreading. I won’t lie, some small, juvenile part of me wished for him to be happy to see me. But I know it’s not gonna happen. 
“Dana? What the fuck is going on? Why are you here? How did you-”
“She’s not the surprise, Cass,” Arthur clapped him on the shoulder and walked to the back of the car. I didn’t miss the way he shuddered. 
There was a sharp yank on my elbow and I was pulled from the safety of my hiding spot. I jerked away from his grip, fixing the sleeve on my favorite jacket. Then I looked up. Fuck he’s…
“Ira…” He blinked several times, as if he could ever mistake me for someone else. Then I watched the color drain from his face. “It’s uhh… it’s been a while.” “Don’t give me that shit,” I couldn’t be bothered to be pleasant. Nothing about this would be fucking pleasant.
Cassian looked from Arthur to Dana, then back to me. And to the duffle bag that I was holding on to. I could see him connecting the dots inside his thick-ass skull. “No. No no no–”
“Cassian, she needs someone to look after her,” Dana expressed, chasing after him when he turned around. 
“You cannot just plop her on my doorstep like some stray dog,” Cass shouted, throwing his arms in the air and all around.
“She’s your sister, for fucks sake,” Arthur joined. “She needs you to look after her. Since you left, Ira has done nothing but cause me headaches and gray hairs.”
“I’m right here, you know,” I walked over, throwing the bag down. “And I’d appreciate if you talked about me like a fucking human being, not some gag gift that is always shuffled around Christmas because no one wants it.”
“This is fucking ridiculus. I cannot take you in, Ira. I have too much going on.”
“Some things never change,” I huffed. “See, I told you he wouldn’t give me the time of day. You’re still the same selfish, self-centered asshole you’ve always been.”
“Don’t talk like that to your goddamn brother,” Arthor yelled, spit flying onto my cheek. It took every ounce of self restraint to not rip his fucking throat out. Do not stoop to his level, Ira. Calm the fuck down.
“Cass? What’s going on?” Someone called
Cassian scrunched his face, and my eyes went to the door. A pretty woman was standing there with her arms folded. She had a scowl on her face and narrow eyes. Her long brown hair was braided over her shoulder. 
He heaved a sigh, rubbing his eyes. “Nothing, these people were just leaving.”
“Who’s here?” Another voice, a man, asked next. He was tall, had black hair and really deep blue eyes. They actually looked violet in the light. He was just as tall as Cassian when he came next to his side. The woman, with the most terrifying gaze I’ve ever seen, stood on his other side. 
Cassian muttered something under his breath and rubbed his forehead. “This is Arthur and Dana. My foster parents from years ago. And this… this is my sister.”
“Your sister?” Both of them exclaimed at the same time. 
He didn’t even tell them about me… 
I stand there, shocked to my core. God I knew he was an asshole, but he never once mentioned me? What a fucking–
“They were just–” “Come in come in,” the man stepped down and shook Arthur's hand. “I am Rhysand, call me Rhys. Welcome, we are so pleased to have you. Cassian never mentioned having visitors today.”
“It wasn’t planned,” Dana let out the fakest laugh I’ve ever heard. She was one of those people who, when nervous, laughed after every sentence. I’ve come to despise the sound. 
“No, Rhys,” Cassian shook his head. “They are not welcome. Take your fucking shit, take your goddamn bags, and go. You’re not allowed back here.”
At least that’s something we could both agree on. Neither side of this party wanted to be here. The feeling was mutual. 
“Welp, you heard the man,” I clapped my hands together. “Sorry to disrupt your whole life, to remind you that I still exist but we’ll go now. We all know that you don’t want the responsibility anyway. You didn’t want it six years ago, so why would that change today?”
“You know goddamn well that if I had a choice I would’ve–”
“Okay, okay can we cool it a couple degrees here? Someone better start explaining what is going on,” the man, Rhys, said. He put an arm between Cassian and I. I wasn’t sure when I got in his face, but he might want to remove the barrier before it gets ripped off. 
There were a couple too many silent heart beats, but both of us backed down. Cassian glanced at Arthur and Dana, taking a deep breath. I watched his chest rise and fall. 
In for four, out for four. In for five, out for five…
A lump rose in my throat. 
I could practically hear the conversation between Cassian and Rhys. This silent exchange of glances and body language I’m sure I’d never understand. But then Cassian backed down. Literally, he took a step back, hands on his hips.
“Would you guys like to stay for dinner?” Rhys asked Arthur and Dana.
Dinner? Dinner? Oh fuuuuck no. The four of us haven’t been in a room together for six years, and this crackhead just asked if we wanted to have dinner?
“We would be delighted,” Dana accepted, shooting me a look from head to toe. “Since it’s still midday, would you mind showing us around the property? It looks gorgeous.”
“Certainly,” Rhys says, offering his elbow. Dana latches on like a lost duckling, Arthur trailing after her. 
And then there were two. 
I looked up at the clouds, finding no discernible shapes amongst them. Welp. Here fucking goes nothing. 
“Lovely weather we’re having.”
“Do not,” he pointed at me. “You are not staying here, whenever this little tour is over, you’re gone with them.”
“Gladly.” 
“How the fuck did you guys find me anyway?” His eyes were full of rage. Full of hate. Full of resentment.
“It's amazing the things you can find with twenty bucks and a library computer.”
“You hacked into a library system and stalked me?” Cassian was dumbfounded.
I just smirked. “It wasn’t that hard, don’t give yourself too much credit. Kinda hard to hide somewhere when your face is plastered all over your website. ‘Velaris Hotel and Casino’ has a catchy ring to it, come up with it yourself?”
“I swear to god if I ever see you set foot in my hotel or my casino you’re gonna regret it. I cannot believe you hunted me down.”
“And I cannot believe you abandoned me,” I screamed. Years and years of pent up aggression. Years and years of shower thoughts and late nights wondering what I’d say to him when this moment came. And every single thing I’ve thought of has flown out the fucking window. 
Cassian had the gull to roll his eyes. I almost smacked him across the face. 
“Yo, are you coming inside or what?” A third voice sounded. God, how many people live in this fucking house?
A petite, blonde girl was in the doorway, her eyes bouncing between us. 
“Well? You gonna invite me in or is that privilege only reserved for Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb?” I asked, rocking back and forth on my heels. 
He looked me head to toe, and I got that same feeling as when Dana did it. Just raw disgust. 
“Break anything and I’ll murder you.”
“I’m thinking you’re gonna murder me regardless but eye-eye-captain,” I nodded, following behind his solid frame. 
The house was absolutely massive. I thought shit like this only existed in movies, not… wherever the fuck we were. Certainly not my normal run-down streets I was used to, and certainly not somewhere I ever thought Cassian was going to end up. 
There were cabinets filled with fine dishes and a chandelier hanging in the front entrance. There was a massive living room with the biggest TV and couch I’ve ever seen. Same with the kitchen and the dining room, which was being prepped by maids. Legit, actual maids. For fucks sake could this get any stranger?
Cassian took a left and went up a set of stairs. Classic Cass, running away at any chance he gets. My phone buzzed in my pocket. 
Cal: your a piece of shit I hope you know that
Me: You’re* but it’s fine.
Cal: i cannot believe you fucking left me
Me: Whoops. Sorry bud, I couldn’t stick around. You dicked me over so… guess that karma’s a bitch.
Cal: you know im bad with names
Me: WE USED EACH OTHERS MOTHER FUCKER. HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FORGET MY NAME
Cal: hopefully pretty fucking easy because i don’t ever want to fucking see you ever again fuck you ira
Me: Right back atcha, asshole.
The only person that I had remotely trusted was out of my life. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever had someone to trust. There were plenty of things I never told Cal. Plenty of things I kept hidden for my own safety. It was a strictly need-to-know partnership. I always got a little weary when he started asking too many questions. 
And I learned pretty fucking quick you can’t trust your own blood either. 
Lesson learned. Always. Trust. Your. Gut. 
I trailed behind Dana and Arthur, always five steps behind, close enough to hear, but far enough to make an escape should I need to. 
“Oh, and this is my wife Feyre. My darling, this is Arthur, Dana, and Ira, Cassian’s foster parents and his sister,” Rhys spared me a glance and I scrunched my face. Had Cassian really never bothered to tell them about me?
“Wow,” she had a small smile on her pretty face. Why was everyone here so pretty? “You look just like him. You both have the same eyes. And the same hair.”
“Great, what I’ve always wanted to be. Cassian's clone.” I couldn’t stop the eye roll.
“Ira,” Dana hissed. “Some manners?”
“Thank you, your Royal Highness.”
Dana smacked her forehead, mumbling something about gray hairs and a headache again. I chuckled. I thought it was funny. Especially the curtsy. 
“They are staying for dinner, I’ll let them know to set a few extra plates,” Rhys said.
“Good, I wouldn’t mind getting to know some of Cassian’s family,” Feyre nodded, that small smile still on her lips. We had all meandered outside to look at their yard, at the fountain in the front of the house. 
To no one's surprise, there was a matching one in the back by the pool. 
We all went inside after seeing the yard, but Cassian lingered at the back of the pack. While Rhys took Dana and Arthur around to the kitchen, Cassian yanked me–why was everyone throwing me around?–into a room off to the side. 
“What the fuck did you do this time?” Off to a great start.
“Wow, Cassie-”
“Do not call me that.” 
He used to hate it when I called him Cassie. Especially around his friends because they would make fun of him for days after. 
“No hi, how are you? No ‘it's good to see that my sister is alive and doing well?’” “Clearly not well enough since they dragged you all the way out here.” Cassian’s eyes were full of fire. Looks like he still had that canyon of a line between his bushy-ass-eyebrows when he was upset. 
“You don’t know anything of what I’ve had to endure the last six fucking years without you.”
“What. Did. You. Do?”
I swallowed, I hated when he scolded me. “It wasn’t even that bad. They just gave me community service.” I lied out of my ass.
“Jesus Christ, Ira. What did they want to give you?” Cassian shouted for the whole house to hear. 
“Doesn’t matter, I got myself out of it. Like I always do, without your fucking help. I am capable of taking care of myself without you.”
“Yeah you seem to be doing a swell job,” Cassian looked me up and down, clearly judging my tangled hair and ripped up jeans that I’ve probably had since middle school. “I thought all of this was behind you, Ira. When I left you were-”
“Abandoned. You didn’t leave, you abandoned me.”
Cassian relaxed his shoulders. “You know if I could’ve taken you with me I would’ve.”
“No you wouldn’t have.” I was waiting for him to argue, to deny that fact. But he didn’t, and his haunting silence was enough of an answer. I scoffed, a hard, bitter noise. “You know I don’t blame you, no one would want to take a juvenile delinquent anywhere, especially somewhere like this place.”
“Ira-” “Save you’re fucking breath, Cass. You don’t have to pretend around me, you’ve never had to. Just play along with it for one night and I’ll be gone by the morning. Then I won’t have to be your liability to shoulder ever again.”
I didn’t wait around to see his response. Somewhere deep inside I was actually excited to see him. To meet the person my scrawny, gangly brother had turned into. Now he was… a man. Like a real man. I never thought I’d see him with long hair, but here we are.
He looked healthy. He looked happy. For fucks sake he was engaged. Albeit to the most terrifying looking woman I’ve ever seen, but they looked like they somehow worked.
I found Dana and Arthur with glasses of wine around a large table, two other women that I hadn’t met yet. 
“Ahh, this is her,” Rhys stood up, putting his hands on my shoulders. I immediately shrugged them off. “This is Ira, Cassian’s sister.”
“After all this time,” the pretty blonde woman spoke, looking at me from head to toe. “Who knew Cassian could keep you a secret.”
“You look just like him,” a girl who looked similarly to Feyre said, eyes wide. “I’m Elain. And that’s Morrigan.”
“Mor is fine, dear,” Mor smiled, coming over to me and Rhys. “Would you like to see the rest of the house?”
“Not really,” I grimace, but she linked her elbow with mine anyway, dragging me away. “I know that look. You’re overwhelmed. Follow me.”
I thought I was doing a good job at masking it. “You don’t know the fucking half of it.”
“I know Elain said this already, but fuck you look like Cassian,” she laughed, opening a room and revealing a giant bed with a balcony on the other side of some french doors. 
“It gets really fucking annoying,” I rolled my eyes. 
“Understood,” she nodded, not pushing it. “This is my room, you can go out on the balcony if you need some fresh air. Or the bathroom, whatever you want.”
This entire room was as big as the trailer I grew up in. I’ve never seen such a big bed, or a big closet. Jesus, she could have the entirety of Macy’s in there. 
She must’ve caught me staring at it cause she walked over and flipped on the light. “Wanna take a look?”
I snapped back to her, shaking my head. I shoved my hands in my pockets, digging my nails into my palms. Everything in here was so pristine, and I was so… not. I didn’t wanna step anywhere but the hardwood floor.
“I like your jacket, those are some really cool patches,” she smiled, taking a closer look. She reached out and touched one, the blue plaid square fraying at the edges. 
It was a cut out of Cassian’s flannel he left behind…
“Thanks,” I nodded, ignoring the lump in my throat. “I’ve spent a lot of time making them.”
“That's so cool, I have zero creative ability,” Mor sighed as she flopped back on the bed. 
“Neither do I, just something to pass the time, I guess?” I took my hands out of my pockets, digging some grime out from under my nails. 
I could feel her eyes on me. That tension. Knowing she’s about to say something. 
“Look, I know it’s not my place to ask, but–”
“Then don’t ask. Cause I’m not saying shit,” I said bluntly. “Sorry if that's rude but I don’t know you and you clearly don’t know me so… I don’t need the whole ‘I know what you’re going through’ speech. You don’t. No one does. Not even myself.”
Mor nodded, sitting up, propping her arms behind her back. “I’m a little pissed at Cassian too.”
My eyes snapped to hers. “Why?”
“Because he has never once mentioned you? I know some of where he came from, of bouncing around the foster system, about ‘siblings’ but… he never went into detail. I just assumed they were all other kids in the system, you know? If he would’ve mentioned something about you, trust me, we would have not waited this long to be introduced.”
That… makes me feel slightly better. 
“There's not much to know about me. I’m a fucking nuisance to basically everyone. Especially to Cassian, Arthur, and Dana apparently.”
“What the fuck is their problem?” Mor scoffs, folding her arms over her chest. 
“I don’t know. Well– of course I know, it’s me. I’m their fucking problem and they’re trying to get rid of me. I made a dumb fucking decision, but I already did my fucking time. I don’t want anything to do with Cassian so I’m not sure why they’re dragging him into this mess.” 
Mor just looked at me sorrowfully. Fuck, why did I say that? I don’t want her pity. I can’t pretend she cares about me. 
She got off the bed and stood in front of me. She was shorter than I was, but not by a whole lot. 
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. I know it’s fucking awful what they’re making you do, so I don’t blame you for wanting to hide. Help yourself to anything you need.”
And then she was gone. Blonde hair bobbing with her steps. 
This isn’t fucking happening. I’m not in some strange girls room, alone nonetheless, in a different city hundreds of miles away from my familiar streets. I was not about to be abandoned here by Arthur and Dana because they couldn’t stand to take care of me anymore. Not the first, not the second, but the third time I’ve been abandoned. 
Man this is some fucking bullshit. 
I just looked around, envying all of this. It was all hers. All this space, all these things. All these clothes and dresses and jewelry boxes… Why can’t I have these things?
I swallow my tears. I’m so fucking pathetic, why am I about to cry? This is so stupid. Everything about this is stupid. 
I head to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. 
A plan flickers to life in my brain. I know for a fact they’re going to sneak out and leave me and all my shit here. But, I’ll just leave in the middle of the night. Who the fuck is gonna stop me? No one. Who cares if I leave? Also no one. 
I won’t make the same mistake that Cassian did. When I disappear, no one will be able to find me.
I took a long look at myself in the mirror. My tired eyes, my tangled, ratty hair. But I could see it… the resemblance between him and I. The same eyes. Same nose. Same hair. I’ll never be able to unsee it now. 
Okay, Ira. just a few more hours and you're done. Done for good. You can change your name and move to Puerto Rico or something. Paris. Wherever you want to go. Well, you don’t know how to speak Spanish or French, which might be important but… that's why they have translating apps, right? You’ll be fine. You always are.
When I got back downstairs, there was a light chatter in the air. But it stopped the second I walked in the room. 
My hood was quick to go over my head. No one spoke as I sat down and poured some water from the pitcher into my glass. 
Thankfully conversation between Rhys, Feyre, and Dana resumed and the silence wasn’t eating me alive. I took out my phone and scrolled through instagram, posting a picture of a lake I had taken on the drive up here. Just like all the other posts, it wouldn’t get any likes. 
“How do all of you know each other?” Arthur asked. 
“Well I met Cassian when we were in high school, as well as our other friend Azriel,” Rhys started. “We made a deal with each other that when we graduate, we would do everything in our power to become the most powerful business owners we could. As you can see, that little pact is working quite well.” “How long have you lived here?” Dana asked next, clearly eyeing up Rhys. 
“For about three years now?” Mor answered, Rhys nodded. “We kind of all found each other on the same paths and stuck together. We sort of own and share everything around here.”
“That is lovely,” Dana smiled. “And what do you do?”
“I own a casino and a neighboring hotel,” Rhys smiled. The moment I had learned about this hotel and casino, alarm bells rang in my ears. The devil's playground, and it was calling my name. Maybe I’d hit up for a few poker hands. “Cassian runs the whole thing, and Azriel kind of has his own thing.”
“Who’s Azriel?” Arthur unfolded the napkin and laid it across his lap. 
“He is our other friend,” Cassian butted in, lips pressed in that line that I remembered. “He’ll be by later.”
“Great,” I rolled my eyes. “More people.”
“Will you please be polite for once in your life?” Dana whisper-yelled, clearly not being discrete enough since everyone looked at us. 
I just shut my mouth, grinding my teeth. It’s not worth it, it's not worth it, I told myself. A few moments later, a large tray with some type of bird on it came out. It was too big to be a chicken, but too small to be a turkey? Duck maybe? I don’t know, it didn’t matter. It was food. 
Everyone around me took their time while I ate like a heathen. Putting a little bit of everything on my plate and scarfing it down like someone was going to take it away from me. Guess I’m taking on the stray dog title pretty well. 
“So, Ira. What do you like to do?” Mor asked me. 
I don't know what part of my hood being pulled over my head gave off ‘I want to be a part of this conversation’, but here we go I guess. 
“I have many hobbies.” I could see Cassian’s eyes narrow from across the table. 
“Like?” Rhys stuck a green bean in his mouth.
“Uhh, f-fashion. And I’m very good at handling money. Other people's money. As well as picking locks and hotwiring cars-”
“She’s joking,” Cassian gave the fakest laugh– besides Dana’s– that I’ve ever heard. “We used to play cops and robbers when we were little, she always wanted to be the robber.”
“Did I?”
“Yes,” he practically growled. “You did.”
This was crazy. This was actually crazy to be doing this right now. If I had any particular feeling about the things I did, guilty and ashamed were not some of them. Who gave a fuck if I stole from Walmart or faked being a waitress to make a few extra bucks? If anything they should be thanking me for the extra set of hands. Which they didn’t have to pay for. 
It wasn’t like I stole the Mona Lisa for fucks sake. 
“I guess I did.” 
“What was Cassian like growing up? I can only imagine some of the stories you have,” Nesta chimed in from next to Cassian.
“I have a few. One time, Cassian was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich-”
“Do not-”
“And he thought that the peanut butter was in the fridge for some reason. Turns out he grabbed a bottle of dijon mustard and used that instead. He took one bite and threw up everywhere. It took Dana a week to get the smell out of the kitchen.”
Everyone grimaced, poking fun at Cassian for making a jelly-mustard sandwich. “I guess that explains the nausea every time I make one.”
“You still can’t stomach even the smell?” My eyes were a little wide. That had to have been from when we were still in elementary school.
“Nope,” Cassian’s tone was harsh, fork forceful as it went into his mouth. 
“What is everyone laughing about?” A new voice said from over my shoulder. When I turned to look… holy mother of Jesus fucking–
“Azriel,” Rhys, still in a fit of laughter. “Listen to this: Ira, Cassian’s sister, told us why he runs for the hills every time he sees peanut butter.”
“S-Sister?” 
I could not have ignored the exchange between Cass and Azriel if I tried. Those alarm bells from earlier? They were deafening now. Much like Cassian and Rhys earlier, their eyes and body gestures were like a language in and of itself. Impossible to understand, but something was said. 
“Azriel, this is my sister. Ira,” Cassian gestured to me without looking. “This is Azriel. And my foster parents, Arthur and Dana.”
I held Azriel’s gaze for a second. I couldn’t quite figure out what his problem was, but he better not have one with me. I challenged his gaze, but he refused to back down. 
Azriel gave a not-so-subtle look at me, but didn’t say anything as he moved to sit with us. A sharp kick to my shin had me wincing. When I looked up, Cassian met my heated gaze. 
Don’t even think about it, he mouthed, glare set so deep in his eyes I wasn't sure his eye lids would peel off his face. 
One raise of my eyebrow told him I was up for the challenge. I could see his jaw clench, and that only made me want to push his buttons. 
I managed to break my vice hold on Cassian and look at Azriel from across the table. He had these lighter colored eyes, hazel I think. And a dark mess of hair. He wore a fitted black athletic tee, and black sweats with a Nike swoosh on the hip. I think I stared a little too long, cause when I looked back up at his face, he sent me a wink. 
I damn near gagged. He wishes. 
“And you’re engaged? That’s wonderful, Cassian. I am so happy for you,” Dana gushed while looking at Nesta’s ring. “Congratulations, you two. Do you have a date picked out?”
“No,” Nesta said sternly. “We are just going to wait things out. Until both of us feel ready.”
Cassian nodded, not offering up any words. 
“What would you guys like for dessert?” Rhys asked, listing off a few options. I stopped paying attention after chocolate cake because who would want to hear anything else?
“I’m afraid we better get on the road, it is a long drive back to our home. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious,” Arthur stood up from the table, shaking Rhys’s hand. “Cassian, a word, please?”
With a deep breath, Cassian stood up and followed the old man out of the room. 
“Okay, now that he’s gone, can we all agree that there is something wrong with him? I’ve never seen him so… so rigid in my life,” Mor blew out air from her lips, shaking her head. 
I offered a tad bit of insight. “Dana and Arthur are kind of fed up with me so they’re just gonna take off. And leave me here. But don’t worry, I’m just gonna find a bus stop in the morning and be gone before any of you wake up. No biggie.”
The room was silent except for my fork scratching on the plate. When I looked up, everyone was looking at me funny.
“Ira, what? They’re gonna leave you here?” Mor gasped.
“It is a long story. And they think I need a role model to get my life together. Why Cassian is that role model I’ll never understand because the last I knew of him he was just as irresponsible as I was.”
Rhys took a sip of wine, “How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”
“Six years. But I mean you all probably know him better than I ever did so, might wanna ask that prick why he abandoned me.” I took a big piece of this chocolate cake into my mouth. “Fuck, this is good.”
“What happened?” Feyre prodded.
“We are lightyears away from you being able to ask that,” I laughed. “No offense but, it’s none of your fucking business.”
Again, the room was silent, except for a small snort at the end of the table. It wasn’t Elain because she was so red she looked like she was gonna pass out. And the only other one was Azriel. 
“Hint taken,” Rhys pressed his lips in a flat line. “Well, you are Cassian’s family, so you are always welcome in our home.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to be here any more than you want me to be. I’ll figure it out, I always have. It’ll be like I was never here,” I took another forkful and shoved it in. Damn, I was gonna miss this cake. “So, Rhys, you own a casino and a hotel. What do the rest of you do?”
I’ll pretend like I care for my own amusement.  
“Well, Cassian runs the casino and hotel,” Rhys pointed out again. “Azriel owns and runs the adjacent club. We basically have our own empire here.”
“Sounds riveting,” I rolled my eyes. “What about you Mor.”
“I am the best fucking bartender this place has seen,” she grinned. “And I model here and there.” “Wonderful.” So she’s a princess. Got it. 
“I have an art studio. I teach classes and do some workshops,” Feyre said. “But most of the time I am at home with our son Nyx. He is… he’s a handful. A spoiled handful.”
“Hey,” Mor said, “to be fair, he is the first kid in our group, what did you expect?”
“He’s barely two, he doesn’t need designer clothes that he won’t fit into after a few months anyway. It's a waste of money.”
“Feyre, darling, I don’t know if you’ve looked around, but we kind of have a lot of money. It could use some wasting,” Rhys patted her thigh under the table. 
I can only hope to have enough financial security to be able to say sentences like that. They could probably retire right now, all of them, and never make a dent in their fortune. Lucky bastards. 
“What is it that you do, Ira?” Azriel poked his head from around Mor. 
“Oh,” I sputtered. What the hell was I supposed to say? Certainly the fact that I commit petty crimes won’t go over well. “I’ve had a lot of jobs. I don’t have a set career yet.”
“So hot-wiring cars is just a hobby then?” 
A stream of water shot out of Mor’s mouth and onto the table. How did he even hear that?
“It’s a skill. Don’t come crying to me when your battery dies and you don’t wanna pay a hundred and fifty dollars for AAA to come and pick up your ass,” I deflected. Another skill I had built up over the years. 
“And the locks?” Wow, he was kind of an asshole with supersonic hearing. I could see why he and Cassian hung around together. 
“I was a locksmith,” I mustered up my best smile and scooted my chair so I was sitting at an angle.
“Ah, so it wasn’t just the ‘cops and robbers’ you and Cassie used to play growing up. Good to know,” Azriel wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin. He stood up, saying something about having to leave because he had to open up. 
Just as he was walking by, I stuck my toe into the walkway and he tripped over me. Azriel all but went through the wall, Cassian coming around at the last second and catching his arm. 
“You alright?” He asked as Azriel straightened himself out. 
“Yup. Fine.” The glare he gave me sent a smirk curling at my lips. Two can play that game, mother fucker. 
I, very gracefully, scratched the corner of my nose with my middle finger. He got the message. But so did Cassian.
“Your stuff is in the driveway. Go get it and meet me upstairs.” Cassian looked so pissed off. His shoulders were pinned to his ears again as he stalked away, that silence settling back in the room. 
“Guess that’s my cue to get a move on. Thank you everyone, a pleasure to meet you all,” I said with a genuine tone. They were all cool.  
The three duffle bags and backpack were not light as I carried them up the stairs, trying not to knock over all the decorations and pictures on the wall. One of them didn’t survive. It crashed all the way down and shattered on the hardwood floor. Cassian cursed from somewhere. 
With a thud, I let go of all the bags in some random room at the end of the hall. It was barely big enough to call a hobbit hole. There wasn’t a window or a real bed, just some cot with a pillow and a blanket. “Glamourous.”
“It’s the best that I could do,” Cassian all but rolled his eyes. 
“A couch would’ve been better,” I plopped down on the taught fabric, bouncing a little. “Sorry about the frame.” “It’s fine,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Ira I’m sorry about how I left you.” “Yeah well apologies don’t mean a fucking thing to me unless you fix it, Cassian,” I folded my arms over my chest. “And for the record, I would’ve understood if you would’ve just fucking told me what was going on. Instead, not only did you not tell me, you ghosted me.” I just blinked up at him, waiting for an explanation. “Well?”
Nothing. Not even a strangled breath. “I just had to.”
“That’s the best you can do? Are you seriously still that fucking thick in the head?” “I didn’t have a choice, Ira,” he shouted. 
“Yes,” I nodded. “You absolutely had a choice. You could’ve at least left me a fucking note with a number on it so I could talk to you. You were all I had, Cass. All I fucking had and you just disappeared. What did you expect me to do?”
Cassian shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I-I don’t know. I thought you’d get yourself together and make it out too. Build your own empire, like the one we have here.”
“In case you forgot, I didn’t get to finish school like you did.”
“Well that’s not my fault.”
The fucking nerve. I stood up, barely coming to his chest, and smacked him across the face. His head jerked to the side, and his mouth fell open. I shoved him into the wall on the other side of the hallway and he fell into it. 
“You are a piece of fucking shit Cassian.”
“Ira–” “Did you really think that I would end up alright without you there? Could you really be that fucking stupid?”
“I didn’t think that–”
“Of course you didn’t. You never have. You’ve only ever thought about yourself and what would benefit you. You never gave a shit about me, I was just a burden you couldn’t get rid of.” “That’s not true,” he gritted his teeth. 
“Tell me that I am not a constant reminder of dad. Or mom. Tell me.” I waited for a response. When nothing came, I felt the nausea roll through my body. “You are one sorry son of a bitch Cassian.”
“Jesus Ira you think I wanted to abandon you?” “You haven’t given me one other reason to believe anything different,” I was screaming now. I didn’t care if anyone else heard. “The last memory I have of you is seeing you packing a fucking bag and climbing out your window, what else am I supposed to believe about you?”
A door clicked open, and Azriel emerged. He looked at us with raised eyebrows. “Everything alright?” 
No, you fucking prick. 
“Just re-kindling our sibling rivalry,” I gave a mocking look, staring down Azriel. “Mind your own damn business. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Ira,” Cassian said, somewhat appalled. 
“Just fuck off, Cassian,” I waved my hand at him. “Like I said, I’ll be gone in the morning and you don’t ever have to worry about making it up to me again because you won’t be able to. Hope you are happy living in your perfect little bubble with your perfectly little circle. Hope they’re all more important to you than I ever was.”
I slammed the door shut quicker than he could get a response out, leaning against it. I hadn’t ever realized that I was shaking.
Whatever. Fuck him too. I don’t need Cassian. I haven’t needed him for the past six years. God, has it really been that long?
There was no use in unpacking so I just piled the bags in the corner of the room. And there was also nothing to do besides lay down simply because there wasn’t enough room to do anything else. 
Maybe when everyone has gone to sleep, or home, I’ll go sneak around. Take something just to piss him off. Nothing too valuable, but something really inconvenient like all the salt and pepper shakers or all the spoons. 
Or one of the Corvettes in the driveway.
My mind was racing with thoughts, but eventually I had fallen asleep because the sun was peeking through the crack under my door. I stirred and sat up, sighing loudly. 
I changed into a hoodie and some other jeans, slipping my jacket on knowing it'll be chilly. 
With far more precision, I made it downstairs to the front door. It unlocked easily, thankfully no alarm system went off. The crisp morning greeted me and I slipped out silently. 
Fuck, this driveway was long. Couldn’t they be normal and have a normal fucking sized driveway? It was so unnecessary. 
And of course there was nothing at the end of it. Just the road and nothing else. Not another house or anything. Who knows how far it could be until a bus station. Hopefully this place wasn’t filled with a bunch of weirdos and I wouldn’t get kidnapped. 
The thought of carrying all these bags for miles would tear up my back and shoulders. I didn’t have that much but… I needed all of it. 
“Ira!”
I whirled around and saw a Cassian shaped silhouette coming down the driveway. Oh great. 
“Come to demand I pay for the broken frame?” “Stay.”
What? “What?”
Cassian breathed heavily, “Stay. I-I am so sorry for what I said. And you’re right, I don’t ever think of anyone other than myself. And I’m sorry I never told you where I was going. I want to fix it, but I can’t if you don’t at least let me try.”
I dropped the bags, totally not believing what I was hearing. “And what if I don’t give a flying fuck if you want to or not?”
Cassian completely deflated. “Please, Ira. I made a promise to mom and dad that I would look after you. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I don’t feel like a piece of shit for what I did. I miss you.”
So what if he made a promise to mom and dad? He made a promise to me. To always stick together. To always be there. He hung me out to dry before I even had a chance to notice. His apology means nothing. His desperation means nothing. 
I fucking hated Cassian. More than anything right now I wanted to watch him be boiled alive. Could he really even help me anyway? What was the fucking point of any of this? I was already humiliated, and dragging innocent people into my bullshit surely didn’t help. 
I sucked in a big breath, hiking my bag up on my shoulder, ready to bolt. “Why should I?”
“Because what other option do you realistically have?” 
“That is not fair,” I flare my nostrils. “You have no right to waltz back into my life and pretend you give a shit about me.”
“You were the one who was dropped on my doorstep,” Cassian pointed out, making my stomach drop. 
“You know, you’re doing a shit job at showing that you legitimately want me to stay, asshole.” I was getting a little angry. Good things did not happen when I felt betrayed. “And for the record, I tried to talk them out of bringing me here, but they went around me and got a fucking court order. So, whether you want to believe it or not, it was not my choice to be here. I can’t even go back with Dana and Arthur because there will be a warrant out for my arrest.”
“Shit…” Cassian dragged a hand over his face. “Ira I’m-”
“Sorry? I know. But you lost the privilege of my forgiveness long ago. It is gonna take a hell of a lot more than ‘I’m sorry’ to fix what you’ve done to me.”
“I know, I know,” Cassian softened his eyes and his voice, standing tall in front of me. “Just… give me something. Anything, and I will never betray you ever again.”
Should I believe him? I have no fucking idea what to do. All my senses are telling me to run and don’t look back, but that gaping pit in my stomach that formed when he left seems a little less… gaping.  
This was gonna be a rough fucking time. Nothing about this is going to be easy, but… he was right. I didn’t have another option. Prison, if I really was desperate, but I didn’t quite feel like losing all my basic human rights.
If he wanted me to stay, there were going to have to be some sacrifices on his end.
Maybe a little room for petty behavior. 
“I want a real fucking room.” I demanded
“Any one in the house.”
“I want yours.”
“Absolutely not,” Cassian furrowed his brow. “Plus, I don’t even live here anymore. Just Rhys, Feyre and Nyx. Nesta, Azriel and I live in the next town.”
“So what, you all just visit together and pretend to be a big happy family?” I scoffed, kicking a stone. 
“We don’t pretend, Ira,” he didn’t say it rudely, but more matter of fact-ly. And he looked at me like I had never known what a family was. I guess he forgot that when he left it kind of ruined me. Or again maybe he just didn’t care what it would do to me back then. 
Cassian looked sad. Not depressed or upset, just sad. 
“Your room or I’m gonna walk away right now.” There was no room for negotiating in my voice. I could see the conflict in his eyes, but with a sigh he gave in. 
“Fine, you can have my room,” Cassian rolled his eyes dramatically. 
“Was that so hard?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Actually it was. I spent weeks designing that room. All for it to go to fucking waste.”
“Sucks to suck I guess,” I smirked, shouldering two of my bags. I took a long, non-rage-filled look at my brother. Man… he looked so different. Six years is a long time to not see someone. 
I gotta make this work. “I’m gonna work hard, you know. I’m tired of always being in the fucking mud.”
“Yup. Me too.” Nice, asshole. “You’re going to have to follow some rules and check in. This isn’t going to be a free-for-all, you’re gonna have a curfew.”
“A curfew? What am I, thirteen?”
“Until you can prove to me that you’re not gonna go and rob a bank, yes, you’ll have a curfew,” Cassian picked up my other bags and started walking back to the house. “We’re gonna find you a job because I will not be funding your operation.”
“What happened to ‘we have a lot of money. It could use some wasting’?”
“Rhys wasn’t wrong,” Cassian said. “But just because we have it doesn’t mean you get access to it.”
“Jeez, sorry I brought it up, grumpy pants. And what kind of rules anyway?”
“We’ll talk about it later. Some of us like to get a full eight hours of sleep every day so I am going back to bed. You’re not allowed to leave the house until I say so, so find something to do.”
“Or someone,” I whispered to myself. But Cassian heard. “A joke.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice you eye fucking Azriel,” Cassian practically gagged. “That is one of your rules. You are not allowed to be engaged with him in any type of way. The last thing he needs right now is you.”
“Right to the heart. And please, I could do better.” That part was debatable for sure. 
“I mean it, he’s been through a lot the past year and a half. It took him a long time to get to where he is and I won’t let you ruin it for him,” Cassian said possessively. “He, along with everyone else, is my family. Fuck with them and you’re dealing with me.” “News flash, buddy, so am I. We share the same DNA, and hair and eyes according to everyone else on the fucking planet.”
“Ira, I’m serious. If you fuck around with Azriel and I find out I sweat to–”
“Jesus, calm down Vengeance. Gotham is safe from the Joker,” I followed him inside, clicking the door shut behind me. “I won’t get involved with Azriel.”
“Good.”
He carried the bags to his car, telling me we’d make it to his house sometime in the afternoon. After that? I just… wandered. I looked in the kitchen, grabbing an orange and a few granola bars from the pantry. I slipped out the back door to the pool and sat on one of the lounge chairs. 
The sunrise was full of oranges and golds. Much different from the other sunrises I’m used to up on the roof. The soft wind blew the water in the pool, making gentle lapping noises. I closed my eyes. Stretched my legs. 
I’ve gotta be careful or I might get used to this. 
I know the ending of this book. Read these pages, seen the titles. It’s gonna be no fucking different. I’ll give it the good ol’ college try, but it’s never gonna fucking work. I’ll do something stupid, piss off the wrong person and Cassian will kick me to the curb. Just a waiting game. 
Nothing I can do about it, so I might as well see where fate takes me.
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faerunsbest · 7 months
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in the aspects that Rolan chooses to dedicate himself to he can achieve only excellence, he will not blame a child for his inability to focus on work. besides what would he do without those little eyes just staring up at him all the time.
almost perpetually multitasking like this may result in a strange skill, the ability to multi-focus and use two or more concentration spells at once.
i happen to be of the opinion that Rolan just makes so many other fathers in Baldurs gate super pissed because now they look weak asf by comparison to him.
All Rolans ducks are absolutely in row, damn near synchronized.
cal and Lia often have to harass him to work without roly poly, cause they want time with him too.
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fullofseoul · 1 year
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Fasting Zones
Whilst fasting I decided to do some research into fasting and the different zones so that I could understand how to lose more weight whilst on a fast and wanted to share it with everyone. 
I’m not promoting fasting in any way but I realise a lot of us do it and I want people to be informed and stay safe. Remember to keep yourself hydrated on a fast, drink some water or 0 cal drinks and please take a break if you start to feel sick or dizzy. You come first. 
Anabolic - 0-4hrs
This zone lasts 4 hours on average and is usually spent processing the last meal you ate. After your body breaks down the carbs, protein and fat into glucose, amino acids and fatty acids your body converts this into energy for later use. People who snack a lot or have frequent meals usually spend most hours of the day in this state. 
Depending on your diet and activity levels you can decrease this time, moving into the next zone faster, such as the fat burning zone. 
Catabolic - 4-16hrs
This zone lasts 12 hours on average where the body’s blood glucose and insulin levels drop and you’ll start to use up the stored glycogen and fat for energy, this is called the breakdown state. Glucose is still the primary fuel source in this state, however when your glycogen reserves are nearing empty, you’ll start using fat. 
Depending on how active you are during the day, doing exercise during this time will use up the glycogen stores quicker, moving you into the next zone.
Fat Burning - 16-24hrs
Whilst your body may always be burning fat, this zone is where it accelerates. Your body will now be in fat burning mode. Your body will always use some amount of glucose however it is now more dependant on fatty acids for fuel. Your brain still needs glucose to function, any glucose still being produced within the body will primarily be used by the brain whilst the rest of the body relies on fat for fuel. 
Ketosis - 24-72hrs
Your fast is now a multi-day fast. Exercise can accelerate the transition into this zone. Your primary fuel source is fatty acids and ketone bodies plus glucose. The body now relies more and more on fat and ketone bodies in this state and will prioritise burning fatty acids with ketone bodies being spared for the brain. 
Ketone bodies: this refers to 3 molecule types acetone, acetoacetate and beta-hydroxybutyrate (BHB). Acetoacetate and BHB can be used for energy production. 
It is suggested that a healthy fast end after 3 days due to health risks. Take a break, eat a meal, drink lots of water and rest. You did well to reach three days, don’t risk your health. 
Deep Ketosis - 3+ Days
The body is now in a prolonged fasting zone. After day 3, glucose and insulin levels stay low and hunger will stay suppressed. You’ll see a decrease in IGF-1 a hormone involved in growth and development. Insulin and Glucose production will fall around 30% or more. 
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