#murdoc is bard of doom

[molten222]

these casts would make the best fucking sburb sessions

[nelyoslegalteam]

please tell me about your dnd campaign, stranger

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi do you have any idea how happy i am to get this ask. you have activated my trap card this is going to be SO long i am sorry in advance but The People Need To Know About My D&D Campaign.

so we’re playing in Adventures in Middle Earth, which is. supposedly a Tolkienverse-specific 5e mod but frankly it’s robust enough to fully count as its own system if you ask me. like it has its own guidebooks, character sheets, premade adventures, and features mechanics that 5e just straight up doesn’t have. it’s like if 5e were actually good. anyway. may i present to you:

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ The Mirkwood Campaign ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

so what, exactly, happened in the intervening years between the events of the Hobbit and LOTR? we did, BAYBEEEEEE!!

we are:

Murdoc, a hobbitish warden (adventures in middle earth’s version of a bard), played by yours truly!! raised in the shire and eventually moved out to the middle of mirkwood by an eccentric uncle who idolizes bilbo baggins, murdoc is the heir apparent to the brandybuck family inn. unfortunately for murdoc, he has developed extremely nasty prophetic dreams and is now burdened with the ability to see the future! a skill that has definitely left him with a very normal relationship to his new day job of Being An Adventurer!! i am unhinged and have uh. Talked About Him A LOT If You Care To Read This, but he is full of murderous rage and also tea and loves his friends very much. he also, more recently, surrendered himself as bait to the great werewolf plaguing mirkwood, trusting completely that his friends would come and save him. he was right. they did. and he lost his right hand in the process. :)

Ríros, an elven warrior (aime version of a fighter), played by @jaz-the-bard. tall, buff, sunshiny, and an absolute himbo. ALSO loves his friends VERY much and this is KEY. unfortunately for ríros, he is a redhead, and that does cause problems in a world where maedhros feänorion once existed. (stranger, i am so sorry if you are not one of my silmarillion regulars and did not know what you were getting into by asking me, a silmarillion blog, to tell you about my d&d campaign, and now have no idea who or what the fuck i am talking about). ríros is notably not maedhros though! he isn't even noldorin!! maedhros is a ghost who lives in his sword (and who is also played by jaz)! and who also maybe kind of accidentally possessed him one time, if you wanna read this here for a better explanation of ríros mostly but also all of the above.

The Bearer, a human slayer (aime barbarian), played by @thymo-leonta. grumpy old man. unwilling father to all these young and stupid adventurers he’s been stuck with. are they all adults? yeah sure. they’re still Children. we are making him go grey. also full of murderous rage. looks like he's running from his perfectly normal, happy, loving family. is actually acutely aware of the fact that he has been doomed to die. killed the werewolf that took murdoc's hand. as a consequence, became the werewolf that took murdoc's hand. has two dogs, both named Dog <3

Déorwyn, a human wanderer (aime ranger), played by @shadowkat2000. resident party Horse Girl. a fellow sufferer of The Bad Prophetic Dreams^TM. because this is not quite unfortunate enough for her, déorwyn Hears Dead People. apparently our GM gives her extra secret bonus ghosts that the rest of us do not hear or know about! this being the source of her foresight makes her pretty distinct from murdoc, despite them both seemingly suffering from the same thing, in ways that i have LOTS of emotions about. her horse is named windrider and Their Bond Is Unbreakable uwu

and @potatoobsessed999, our obligatorily Extremely Ominous GM!

(we are also occasionally joined by Ioreth, a human treasure hunter (aime rogue), whose player is unfortunately not on tumblr. a founding member of the party, has earned the epithet The Feral, mostly loves to hang out in the woods by herself, look for shiny things, and cause chaos. as a beorning, she CAN astral-project herself as a bear. it rules. once got possessed by a ringwraith, probably holds the most compassion for characters who have been through similar out of any of us. is usually covered in mud.)

initially in the employ of radagast the brown, a tenure that did not last due to murdoc's insistence that saruman is evil (i mean. yeah lol.), we're a group of adventurers traveling mirkwood with the aim to defend it as sauron slowly gathers power. we are

very

successful at the Fighting And Killing Things part of this

we specialize in:

lugging unconscious bodies through the woods!

lugging DEAD bodies through the woods!

lugging EACH OTHER'S bodies through the woods!

lugging things through the woods in general!

setting things on fire (usually murdoc's fault)!

making fun of our enemies so bad they just give up!

INCLUDING the ringwraiths (shoutout to ríros)!

serving annoying politicians subpoenas!

murdering them like the one time it was totally justified we promise!

accidentally convincing the council of mirkwood that murdoc's inn is a small fiefdom!

being generally cursed (except for ríros) (he just looks that way)!

HIRE US to take care of whatever problems are happening in YOUR local cursed forest! wights? patricidal politicians? generally awful politicians? sauron? the same fucking werewolf again? it's definitely just tuesday to us!

you can count on

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ the union of murdoc ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

anyhow, jaz is absolutely wonderful and has written several fics of our party, including (but not limited to):

Cooking Contest for the Free Peoples, based on an in-game conversation about beating sauron at competitive cooking,

In Which There Are More Ghosts, which is not canon to game but is in fact Extremely Representative of the exact kind of nonsense we get up to (campaign's haunted),

A Stranger With a Friend's Face, a canon to game horror story of how ríros got slightly possessed, the party acquired maedhros, and neither murdoc nor déorwyn managed to explain the presence of the vengeful ghost residing in murdoc's scepter and bullying him in his dreams to any of the rest of the party right up until this very moment,

and this wonderful drabble from the horror arc in which we were isolated inside of a haunted longhouse. complete with party memes here.

there's more, and i am going to a.) pick on jaz to add them if they can find them, and b.) pick on my beloved friends in general to Please Help Me Infodump About our Game!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Top to Bottom, Left to Right: Murdoc, the Bearer, Déorwyn, Ríros, Ioreth]

[purpleisdebeste]

Alright you asked for it! These are old so idk if they make sense but i trust my past self. I also assigned everyone blood colours but i didn't write them down so they're gone forever now. Also everyone has stupid 6 character homestuck troll names, you're welcome

Mollyb Lyndef - Seer of Mind

Jiovan Ipotaj - Thief of Rage (because he steals your rage... to make you happy!)

Sylvie Ajling - Mage of Mind

Induss Tarbel - Knight of Blood

Merasa Lament - Heir of Doom (poor thing)

Percyv Alckin - Knight of Hope

Ramsey Murdoc - Witch of Space (he bends space to turn things into Gold! Technically)

Gorosh Imizac - Sylph of Breath (technically he has an epithet!)

Howdim Orning - Bard of Doom (uh oh)

Howhon Eeglow - Knight of Rage (angy)

Zorasa Lizard - Prince of Time (attacks with time powers)

Yhoomt Azinga - Bard of Breath (rip zing)

Chofer Normal - Page of Rage :)

Naiven Nuknuk - Seer of Life (apples are plants so sure)

Rikodi Shades - Witch of Blood (he uses his friends to fight!!)

Trixie Rofhos - Thief of Void (stealthy thief)

Feenif Lisity - Sylph of Light (healer who knows things)

Loreli Lyndef - Witch of Heart (obviously she is a witch. and heart cus she loves herself)

this is @fuzzyminte 's fault

[blurrymango]

Consumed by thoughts of Evil Morty and Rick Prime in love.

Which is. Well that is literally the most delusional pairing I have.

I mean like.

Well uh. Let's see how about Outlast and what I ship in that. Weddie. At least one half of that ship has an obsessive violent "love" for the other. It's one-sided yeah. But it's full of potential for "what if's" and GUILT. Waylon, the idea of not being able to save Eddie from the insanity that was inflicted haunting him every night. Eddie, the idea of him surviving and all the shit that comes from the guilt of knowing what he did to so many people that night and constantly wondering about the one that got away. A groom who's mind is muddled and twisted and a reluctant bride who sealed his fate. They could have been beautiful together, you know.

And my most recent of 2doc. Stockholm syndrome in a nutshell, basically just an idiot who keeps getting back together with a terrible abusive ex. Murdoc put 2D into that damn coma, but also got him out of it. Damn satanist putting his "blue haired black eyed god" through constant physical and mental agony and yet. 2D still loves him. Even after the events of Plastic Beach and Murdoc being locked up for long enough for 2D to taste freedom from that agony. They still save eachother. They still love eachother. Murdoc has said his favorite colors are blue and green. Blue and goddamn green.

And 15 seasons of Supernatural for- Wincest. Well c'mon man. Literal canonical soulmates who died for eachother countless times. That damn quote about them being irrationally emotionally erotically co-dependent on each other or what the ffuck ever. The vessels of good and evil who go against fate time and time again because they choose each other. Even when they'd be objectively living better lives apart, they wouldn't be happy like that. Because ever since John put baby Sammy in Dean's arms that fateful night and told him to protect him or whatever it has always been the two of them. Sam and Dean. Even in the face of certain doom, it's the two of them. Heaven is an open road for them to drive down.

Homestuck is gay and cringe but y'know what isn't. GamKar. Knight of Blood and Bard of Rage. Tropic of Cancer and Tropic of Capricorn. Moirails made in shite circumstances. Fear and uncertainty and anger and longing. Miraculous blood and insanity. Sopor pies the color of lime the color of what Karkat was mutated from. Tragedy and comedy and red and green swirling together into madness. Mirthful Messiahs and Signless Sufferers and clowns and crabs. Royalty of Prospit. Doomed and retconned timelines leaving us with only crumbs of what could have been. Karkat's purple recuperacoon to go Gamzee's red.

And well. Of course. Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty, forever and forever, a hundred years Rick and Morty! It's Rick and Morty against the everything. Complementary brainwaves be damned y'know, cosmic destiny be damned. That's not even his "real" Rick. But it is. Dimensions left behind and lies upon lies because admitting the truth is emotionally vulnerable but love is shown through actions and they have proven to each other that the love they have is legit. Yes, it's far from perfect, downright toxic at times. But it's strong. It's persistent and true and unbreakable despite their doubts.

But for. *checks nonexistent notes* The ffuck do you mean it's almost 5 AM that's not real. Anyway. Evil Morty wants nothing to do with Ricks of any kind. His main goal has always been escaping that bullshit. And Rick Prime well. He's a ffucking careless psycho. Why does he do the shit he does? Ffuck if I remember. He doesn't give a shit about a Morty and that's obvious. Plus with the events of season 7 y'know. It does not make sense at all. That pairing.

But you know how it is with spaghetti.

[believerindaydreams]

listing to port

did anyone want an author’s commentary for my fic “The List”?

well, here’s one anyway. MacGyver and FL comments below.

(notes short enough to be readable. I did try keeping notes for Fulgent Engineering, but those are scarily long now.) 

The thought process was simple enough: I'd already written "A little honest extortion", where Jack figures out he's heading for the Neath, and I'd done the introduction to "Vertere", where he meets up with MacGyver. All I had to do here was get from one to the other.

I've always been very fond of "Brian's Return," and Jack is a materialist; the concept meshed very nicely with his character. He doesn't know much about the Neath, isn't specifically aware that he's going to be trapped in a whole different century, but he does know that what he brings along might be the last he'll ever see of Surface culture. With the additional complication of making purchases for a friend/fellow spy/something-or-other who he rightly suspects to have left his old life behind with nothing more than a couple of good knives and an extra shirt.

(I have not yet settled on a Correspondence shorthand for "Fulgent Engineering", but a sigil for "the understood loss; and a price beyond" is a strong candidate. The state of the Tireless Mechanic's Surface jacket in "Alike in Dignity" was a precisely considered detail.)

SAKs

Well, yeah. The folks on MacGyver Online, anti-slash though they may be, have done a terrific job of cataloguing minor details in the series; I'd have had to find another and less specific way of writing this scene if they hadn't listed all the SAK statistics for the Informed Clerk to spout off.

Jack's got the gant-coloured knife. Which is initially mistaken for a Spartan (because that's what they used while shooting "Serenity"), but as per the Parabola sequences in "Fulgent Engineering", is actually a genuine 19th century article. Or a dreamed-up version of the real thing, at least. Wonder what happens when Mac- or his Reflection- gets it back.

When Jack started thinking of people in Adjective-Noun formation...I don't know. I suspect, though, that it's a little more common in the Fallen London universe than just in the Neath.

Camping Gear

It just tickled me to suggest that Jack's reaction to safety gear is to say "Safety? Who needs safety?" I'm tempted to write the Doomed Camping Trip in which all of Mac's improvisations happen entirely because Jack's a cheapskate and everything he buys is broken.

Guitar

Over in Tanista's Neath stories, Penny Parker is playing Lois Lane on "The New Adventures of Lois and Clark". This is a sound suggestion and I went with it.

Jack's taste in bad newspapers, aside from setting up the later punchline, is probably something that'll be relevant either in "Deep Romantic" or "Vertere" in good time. Even if it's only as a joke.

Watches

Pete doesn't know nearly as much as he could about the Neath (and almost none of what he does know made it to MacGyver; Pete, much to his regret, was hoping it'd be a case of 'least said, soonest mended'). But he is, at minimum, aware that there's an Underzee.

Which is more that Jack did, but he can take a hint.

Tape deck

Heh. I went to a lot of trouble chewing over which one would be best.

Jack is being an optimistic idiot, of course; you can't recharge the Sony WM-F107 without several hours of sunlight. Of course, you can also carry sunlight in a box in the Neath, so he's lucked out there. (It also has a battery hookup, which Mac will no doubt be able to sort out.)

Making Jack a draft dodger seemed an obvious opposition, once I'd had the idea to bring in Toberman (he's from the MacGyver episode "The Spoilers": seemed the most likely candidate among Mac's friends to give a crafting hobby to.) And it seems to work pretty well for his character anyway.

Cassettes

And the Grateful Dead backstory let me set up Jack as someone who's been involved in bootlegs for ages (the tales of bootlegger Grateful Dead fans are something epic).

I've listened to all of these musicians at one point or another while writing "Ecstasy". Helps me get into the mood for writing these two. The epic-length "Brothers in Arms" tape will be immediately understandable to anyone who has ever seen that episode of Miami Vice with Bruce in it.

Clothing

More borrows from the official forums again. Plus a chance to follow up on Cynthia (several stories). I like Cynthia.

Another fic concept for some later date, Mac going on the run. I know I already did that a bit with my non-Ecstasy story "here is a memory", but that was more an exercise in how far it's possible to push my protagonist before he ceases to be recognisable.

Come to think of it, perhaps I could combine it with the Camping Trip From Hell as per above.

Guitar redux

Penny writes herself. I just put it to keyboard.

Books

So. Desert Island Discs stipulation: no one gets to pick the Bible or Shakespeare for their one book, because that'd be dull.

Plus my awareness of Tolstoy's opinion of the Bard (as mentioned in a very entertaining essay by Orwell), plus the idea of Murdoc implementing a plan that would have terrified Mac but hardly fazes Jack...the chain of thought here was pretty smooth.

Chow

For the record: I am completely unable to imagine Jack as a Seeker in any way, shape, or form. Besides, the rhythm of the fic worked better when I underplayed something.

Also, there's some character development happening. Not that Jack's exactly pleased about this.

Gemstones

Nikki Carpenter's adventure as a gemstone expert was from her first story, "Fire and Ice". Easy thought process. And she gets to point out all the practical concerns Jack ought to be considering, which I'm not on the grounds of being too dull to include. Writing is also about knowing what *not* to write.

Plane

Jack Dalton flies planes. This is as integral to the character as engineering for the Innocent Spy. Therefore: ouch.

He has an...unusual relationship with Kate (see "Rock the Cradle" for the details on this- even if you're a Failbetter fan and ignoring all these MacGyver continuity comments, watch it anyway, because it's hilarious. Lots of banter, the Innocent Spy commits atrocities with duck tape. And despite the plot hinging on Jack's heterosexual shagging, it also manages to be very gay.

Like, very gay.)

Duck tape

Natural bookend, if you're starting with the SAKs.

Another scene inspired by the "Deep Romantic" plotting with Tanista; Jack has a mum, we had to dispose of the mum to get him down to the Neath, how shall we get rid of her? Witness protection! (Consistent with the MacGyver episode that she was in: "Ma Dalton," funnily enough). 

I think this scene was about the right note of sentiment and a mutual acknowledgement that, deep down, both of them are pretty selfish so-and-sos who just aren't interested in the other's life. Like mother, like son. Also, Nikki's pretty smart.

Spent ages agonising over the ending. I may yet rewrite it. But the quiet shift of emphasis, from the stuff he's been accumulating all story to who he's expecting to find?

I confess, I am rather proud of that part...

[cod-rum]

make way for the worst post i’ll ever create

Murdoc - Bard of Doom 2D - Maid of Breath Noodle - Witch of Void Russel - Heir of Blood

[aerophone-amphibians]

You walk in on me standing in front of an empty lecture hall with a powerpoint presentation being projected on the wall behind me. I'm ranting about orange juice, radioactive fish, and mail. The presentation is entitled, "NOTHING IS SAFE FROM MY FILTHY CLASSPECTING HANDS". The slide reads as follows: MURDOC NICHALS IS A BARD OF DOOM 2-D IS A PAGE OF MIND NOODLE IS A ROGUE OF HEART RUSSEL IS AN HEIR OF BLOOD

[cod-rum]

lord strike me down for writing this post

STUART TUSPOT - tealblood - Maid of Breath - Prospit - Land of Stars and Keys

MURDOC NICALS - purpleblood - Bard of Doom - Derse - Land of Smoke and Plastic

NOODLE ?????? - rustblood - Witch of Void - Derse - Land of Cats and Gravestones

RUSSEL HOBBES - jadeblood - Heir of Blood - Prospit - Land of Music and Ghosts