#musings and thoughts

[nekomimithoughts]

Attractiveness and attraction is strange. Even though I recognise that women my age and younger are "hotter" due to their youthfulness, I find myself more attracted to middle aged women. When it comes to men, I'm physically most attracted to men my age and slightly older, except for the occasional daddy type, though admittedly that's more a vibe thing than an age thing. The problem is that too many men my age somehow haven't developed a personality yet.

[therosefrontier]

20 Questions for Writers

Got tagged by @pencilofawesomeness!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Ah, 66 of them! And if I count that Whumptober 2021 collection that I put in one work but is really 31 different oneshots, then 96, I suppose...?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

That would be 999226, from the looks of it! (oh wow I didn't realize I was so close to one million, dang...)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Genshin Impact, Tower of God, and now Twisted Wonderland have been the biggest hyperfixations over the past few years, I'd say! And also Fairy Tail! Got a few for FT due to an event...still need to continue those... And yeah, going a little older, I got My Hero Academia, Voltron, Attack on Titan, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc... Also unpublished RWBY. But then I have a lot of unpublished WIPs soooo...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hmm, looks like that would be...

Every Day We Face the World: Whumptober 2021 | Genshin Impact | 383

We Promised We Would Be Together | Genshin Impact | 342

A Day in the Life of Why Did I Take This Job | Genshin Impact | 242

And You Think, "No Escape" | Twisted Wonderland | 227

Angeli Quaeritus | My Hero Academia | 206

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or at least, I like to! Now I do. So, with Whumptober last year, I did drop the ball on this one, I remember. I was going through the process of responding for a while and taking a long time getting back to people...and eventually, after multiple months have passed, I just went "marked read" to everything that remained. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had not overthought it so much and just made a response. I can overthink a lot of things like this. But of course, I do really really enjoy reading comments! And I like the interaction of responding. But because of my awkwardness, sometimes it's difficult knowing what to say to a compliment... I think I'm better now than I once was, though, even just compared to a year or two ago...

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, so, my first thought is Tower to Celestia on account of being my one and only "real" major character death fic, but it's more bittersweet, maybe? Since I end with the epilogue, with grown-up Klee telling the story of her friends who died and kind of sharing the legend... I think angstiest might have to go to Together We Face the Darkness, actually. Which is, uh, also character death, but canonical? It's a Whumptober piece, and for the most part, those still get happy endings, but not so much for the backstory ones...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Huh, good question! And You Think "No Escape" when I finish it, maybe but yeah, I usually end "happy" in some way, though generally following much angst, but I think I might have to go with A Day in the Life of Why Did I Take This Job for this? Ends with lightheartedly intense snowball fights, found family vibes, and Razor calling his friends "lupical" so, like, looking back on it, I think it might be up there! At least in my opinion :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I have not! At least, nothing of significance I remember. The community's been very nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, I do not! I don't really write romance much at all? My aroace self does not have this material in my purview in any way XD

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do! Although it's mainly in the realm of "AU of characters from fandom X now in the world of fandom Y" rather than truly making the characters collide, but on that note, I agree with @pencilofawesomeness that the The A.I.D. Universe project we were doing is probably the craziest, for sure! That concept really was just "what if all of the fandoms existed as their own world in the multiverse, and what if there was some super special interdimensional task force that deals with multiverse problems and which recruited all of these characters as members?" We never posted all that much for it, but it was a cool thought experiment back in the day, and we had a lot of ideas for the middle of the broad story and all the adventures they may have. May or may not ever really get back to this, but great memories, all the same.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, I have not!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Again with the A.I.D. project with @pencilofawesomeness, and more than that, some things we did in the past before the AO3 days...

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm not really a shipper? So, hard to say, but if I were to pick one, it might be Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, actually? That said, it completely flew over my head actually watching the show; the fondness comes from fandom content, honestly, as is the case with many such things XD

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oof, that is the question. I would like to think that I'll get back to everything in time (what I've published, at least), although there are a few old ones that I think I'll end up making much shorter than originally planned, Angeli Quaeritus included (that one haunts me hard...). Sonic Reloaded, however, is probably not going to happen at all, unfortunately. Same with the A.I.D. Files.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Huh...good question. Weaving introspection into the prose, maybe? Interweaving complicated plot elements and making stuff connect? Making multiple POVs work? I'm not really sure. I feel like a lot of this just goes into the way I like to write, as a matter of style. But the latter point is something I've actually been called out for fairly recently in comments by others, so...thank you? It was encouraging to hear, anyways!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes have always been tough. I think I'm better now than I used to be, but choreography is tough, and I applaud those who can make it work! Besides that I can struggle with being longwinded and not knowing where to put the worldbuilding in when there is some. Also character descriptions. As in, physical descriptions. How do I describe?? Fanfics spoil me in that I can get away with not really having to do that most of the time, since the main characters are usually known to the reader, but it still comes up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I really have...? I can see where it can add to the immersion, but also, don't want readers to just...not understand what's going or have to use a translate app. Sometimes I will sprinkle in words in another language when I think that is the word that best describes the thing or it's a very specific cultural thing. I also will use Japanese honorifics for Japanese media sometimes, though not strictly. I'm not using it nearly as often as an actual speaker (or the canon media) would, but it feels right to throw it in at places, because that's what I hear in my head? And also, it's just far more specific than anything English has to translate it to? Although I'm not always consistent (and I've probably also been inaccurate at places too, admittedly). Like for instance with Twisted Wonderland, Cater will call Lilia "Lilia-chan", but the English localization just uses "Lils" to indicate a nickname, so I've also used "Lils" in writing Cater's speech, but on the other hand, I'll write Sebek as referring to Lilia as "sama" or "senpai" because that is just way more precise to what he means.

Also, speaking of Twisted Wonderland, it's canonical that Rook randomly peppers French into his speech, so...yeah. Things like that XD

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic the Hedgehog! Way, way long ago into yesteryear and long buried... Warrior Cat RPs came around at near the same time for me, though, I think...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Honestly? I think that would have to be my current big project, And You Think, "No Escape". I'm just really, really glad with the way it's been turning out, and I'm almost done, too! Just a couple more chapters to go. Feels like a breakthrough for me as a writer... I've been at this for a long time, but it feels like it hasn't been until recently that I truly grasped my own style and how to make an executable idea, if that makes sense? But anyways, I like to call myself a found-family-loving whump writer who also likes a feel of action and adventure, and this fic is pretty much exactly that. The fandom inspired me by a lot, for sure. These characters grabbed hold of my heart and now I have a vested interest in seeing these boys talk about their feelings (not an easy task XD). It's been a wild ride, but yeah, I've had a blast!

+++

So...yeah! That! Now let's see... going to tag @resident-normal-person, @wintersphoenix, and @comfort-questing! No pressure, of course! Just if you want to! And also to anyone else who sees this and wants to, you may feel free to take it on!

[septemberkisses]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[lipikkawrites]

A lot will go wrong before everything goes right.

Keep moving forward.

-@lipikkawrites

[quiidam]

I think that all of the Batkids get a different version of Bruce as a father. But I think part of what makes his relationship with Dick so unique is that he was almost like a teen dad when he raised him. Yes, he was well into his late twenties early thirties but this man had never had a pet let alone been responsible for another life when he started raising Dick. He knew nothing about children. So of course he let Dick drink coffee and pull all nighters with him, started teaching him how to drive at eight years old, let him bulk up on protein shakes instead of eating regular meals and read any kind of book he could get his hands on. He vents about his life to Dick, no real boundary of parent and child. He’s the reason Dick climbs and jumps from every high point in the Manor— he’s a flying Grayson, he can handle himself. Until Alfred steps in starts explaining to Bruce that children need boundaries, that children are fragile. Dick still jokes about some of the things he was allowed to do as a child, Bruce still cringes.

[ph-cutie]

(pretty much) all the character concept arts from tha art book. because im the compiler

[emeryleewho]

There's a huge difference between redemption and humanization. I feel like a lot of "redemption arcs" aren't actually redemption at all, they're just attempts to humanize the villain so that they seem multi-faceted, but people read them as "redemption arcs" and think that that is meant to justify all the evil they've done before and negate whatever made them a villain in the first place. I think true "redemption arcs" are actually kind of rare because true redemption would take making the villain acknowledge their crimes, reevaluate their actions, actively choose to do better, and then proceed to make amends and become a better person, and that would this take more time than most stories are allowed to give their characters.

I've also seen people argue that a character has to be poised for redemption from the jump for it to work because once a character does something "too bad", they can't be redeemed. I completely disagree because redemption isn't justification or forgiveness, so no matter how horrible a character's actions, they could choose to become better, but because a lot of people (including writers) think redemption means "erasing the character's flaws and making it so they did nothing wrong ever", a lot of attempted "redemption arcs" just end up erasing a character's entire history or justifying every evil thing they've ever done. And yeah, in these cases, the only way to make a character go from a villain to a perfect cinnamon roll with no flaws *is* to have been planning it from the beginning and make sure they never do anything that can't be explained away later.

TLDR: real redemption arcs require a lot of self-awareness, patience, and growth, which are things that are rarely actually allocated to villains, and that's why real redemption arcs almost never get executed. The reason people think redemption arcs are overdone is because there are so many attempts to either humanize a villain that get misconstrued as redemption or attempts to blatantly erase who a character was in the name of "redemption", which is really just poor character development.

[no-lullaby]

[ruporas]

it's time to go, my love (ID in alt)

[owlbelly]

so. i understand where the sentiment "listening to an audiobook is the same thing as reading the book" is coming from - i mean, yes, the bottom line is you are taking in the same words in what is possibly a more accessible (or maybe just more enjoyable) format for you! and i'm 100% in agreement that "book snobs" who say "no you didn't really read it" if you listened to the audiobook are full of shit. ofc you should engage with stories in whatever way works for you, there is no moral or intellectual superiority to reading words off a page vs. listening to them

but it also is different? an audiobook is a performance. choices a narrator makes about line readings can drastically influence the meaning of the lines. even just different voices, accents, etc. - there are creative choices being made by the person delivering the words to you, and that affects your experience of the story in a different way than if you were making those choices in your own head. it might even change the way you visualize what's going on!

this isn't a bad thing it's just An Actual Thing & i think it's worth talking about. it rubs me the wrong way when people act like accommodations (and for many people audiobooks are an accommodation) always result in a completely identical experience, or even that they should, & if you suggest that people accessing media in different ways are having different experiences it's somehow ableist

anyway on rare occasions i really enjoy audiobooks but mostly they are much less accessible to me than words on a page (i need to be able to reread, flip back and forth, go at my own pace) & i also just really strongly prefer to encounter a text on my own before hearing someone else's performance of it, if possible! again i don't think it's "better" to read a physical book i just think it is a Distinct form of experiencing a story & acting like the two things are entirely the same is sort of doing a disservice to both

[nekomimithoughts]

Maybe, even though being showered with affection during sex is exactly what I seek out when I hookup with couples, it feels like too much to ask for. I'm just a hookup, just a toy, right? How could I expect loving affection? Maybe I'm just too deep in my fantasies, projecting too much.

[madamemiz]

sad: falling out of a hyperfixation

tragic: watching your beloved friends and mutuals fall out of the hyperfixation while you're still in it

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

I’m sorry but, to me, this

does not look like an angel with no plan and no ulterior motive.

And, I think Crowley knows that. And Aziraphale knows he knows. Because they’ve known each other for aeons. Because Crowley knows his different tones of voice. Because they trust each other.

This is the face of a determined angel. And this is the face of a demon who’s still there with him.

He’s not happy about it, but he’s still there.

If he’d given up on them (on Us), he would’ve left. It’s what he’s always done before: Crowley’s been the one to turn & leave. He wouldn’t have watched Aziraphale leave if he didn’t still believe in him, in their history & their trust. He stayed.

[words-at-night]

[lavend3r-stardust]

Shy, whiny, subby boys who look at you like you're the world to them, rutting their hips into your palm as you jerk them off and watch them twitch while you praise them for how good they feel cumming on your hand like a good boy

[thiscoldheart]

ANJANA VASAN as Amina Hussain

WE ARE LADY PARTS (SEASON 2)