#mwahahahahaha!

[capsensislagamoprh]

Another part, you say? *evil laughter* Paper Army (2/?)

"What do you mean it's gone?" Dhampir asked in a deceptively even tone.

"I mean it's gone. I have all the proper paperwork right here," said the clerk as he shuffled through the papers in one of the larger drawers in the old desk that dwarfed him. Everything seemed to tower over the young banker. From his robes to the hat he could barely fill out - a hat which was barely holding onto the puff of hair, doing its best to defy gravity. How old was this boy? He had to have passed his trials of manhood to work here, Dhampir knew, but did they hire him at just sixteen? He was way too young to have earned such a position, surely. All the other young men this clerk's age were out front greeting clients and doing smaller tasks as they learned the trade. Dhampir watched carefully for any mark of office - or note of priestly occupation - as the file was pushed across the scratched surface and flipped open. Dhampir found none, and concluded - not incorrectly - that this officer of the bank was a nepotism hire. It wasn't uncommon, but it didn't bode well.

"As you can see here, Sir, it's all been signed and approved," said the clerk with an appeasing edge to his voice. "Your own father authorized the withdrawals."

Dhampir lifted his eyes from the missive atop the piles of paperwork, catching the clerk in a practiced stare. "Lord."

"I… what?" the clerk said as if jerked from some pleasant revere.

"Lord. My father is Lord N'Resh, seventeenth Earl of Grove, bedecked with various other lesser titles and accompaniments, and you will address him - indeed all members of his lineage before or after - with correct familiarity, which is none." There was no quarter in his words, but he knew it was the colorless gleam behind his faded pink irises combined with the dusky white pallor of his skin that seemed to be doing the clerk in.

"Y-yes, M'lord. No disrespect. It's just that, well, as you can see here… it's been signed," the clerk finished lamely.

Dhampir's spidery fingers plucked up the note, scrutinizing it with great care. "This," he concluded with room chilling finality, "is forged."

The clerk stopped trying to look anywhere but at the angry lord in front of him, snatching away the paper, eyes bulging. "No, no, see, it says right here to release your funds into the care of your aunt for the foreseeable future. It's signed and sealed, and -"

"And," Dhampir cut into the prattle, "that is the seal of my cousin. A thirteen-year-old boy with sticky hands and no claims to the title, the lands or, indeed, my funds. Nor is that my father's signature."

The clerk pulled the letter so close to his face, Dhampir thought his nose would go right through the parchment. Taking it away, he spread it on the desk. "There is a key thing missing, you see," he explained, a slightly pink nail tapping the bottom of the page where no apostrophe separated the N and the R. "I am very sure, you will agree, that my father knows how to spell his own name."

[deadmemesrock]

I know Tumblr is supposed to be the ONE social media platform that DOES NOT SHOW FOLLOWER COUNTS, but I got this account yesterday (at time of posting) and I already have a few followers and I am so proud lol.

[ashetheshade]

You know I really did feel like the Joker when I just left. It’s silly that that’s the first comparison I made, but I really felt like I was letting loose.

What a simple thing, “No”, and yet it feels exactly like the subway scene.

[cupcakeinat0r]

Me making everyone think I was gonna write professor x student p*rn w Miguel when really we’re now heading toward a pt.8 of an extremely fluffy series n he still hasn’t even tapped yet

[frenchkisstheabyss]

🩷 I can’t take a serious selfie to save my life 🩷

[pocket-watcher]

I really…. Really want you to hypnotize me…

Of course you do, silly! This whole blog is actually a hypno-trap, drawing you in to give yourself over to me.

You’re already mine ❤️

[catta1ll]

In addition to the AU drop.. heh.. I’m feelin’ freaky.. (possession)

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hello hello! I’ve found a song and it instantly reminded me of DSB Tim, not sure if you’ll think the same but I figured I’d share it with you !!

https://open.spotify.com/track/5mkchG8YOueEJympSxy3Xx?si=bn4JDFTjSxaug7iGGhU7cQ

OOHH YESSS I LOVE THIS SONG!!!

I had completely forgotten about it until just now holy shit this is going on the playlist NOW

[mysidaesm]

found out the kind of stories I like to read and write have a name! That name is "whump!" I may be weird, but at least I'm not the only weird one!

[ilovejasonschwartzmansomuch]

y’all so i somewhat finalized my bill cipher human design and i wanted to share :) the reason why i whited the background so much was that i wrote notes about my design choices (some lore based and some funsies based) but they were distracting and my handwriting sucks so i’ll transcribe them after the keep reading thing

- micro fringe bc i thought it’d be cool

- older and baby bill have the same hair bc it was the way his mom cut it and he didn’t want to change it.

- top hat (obviously) for hiding and storing things (dude has no pockets so he just puts things under his hat or tunic)

- eyeshadow (not visible in drawings bc it’s not yellow it’s blue-ish like the fire from his hand), mascara-ed eyelashes, and lipstick. bill seems like the fancy fellow to take pride in modifying his personal appearance especially due to the next thing.

- dude has burn scars everywhere from “the accident” burning was more intense on his body so he hides it but it’s still very visible on his face. these wounds are healed but are pretty gnarly. the “accident” is also the reason for his lack of a nose. it probably burned or exploded off. bill uses makeup to distract himself from these scars (denial is a river in egypt bill you have trauma!)

- cool mustache. idk it’s cool. i see a lot of human designs give him a beard which is awesome but i wanted to see what a mustache looked like and it really slays

- cane is not only for show! it’s for mobility as well in the instance bill decides to walk/stand. after the accident it became very difficult for bill to use his legs so he usually chooses to fly instead.

-elements of his design/style/clothing represent feminine and masculine traits bc bill is a triangle and he does not care for the binary and honestly he slays

- baby bills eyes are far more dilated due to the medicine given to him to treat his “visions”. safe to say he’s off the meds now.

anyways this is still a wip so i’m gonna improve but what do you guys think? also these are crappy sketches and would nicer digital but i gave up on digital art lolz! maybe one day

[fareehaandspaniards]

[m3tr0n0m333]

Im doing that "draw in other artist's style" thing with my moots artstyles and I've gotten one(1) done... and now I know how to draw in their style

The style stealer.....

Taking about this thing btw vv

[bleper]

Woe I only just noticed the white spot and it's bothering me and now it can bother you too

Have a Skua

[somanyfanficssolittletime]

i'm going to project onto sky so hard for the LU write-a-thon

i don't know why sky, i am normally a wild reader/writer, maybe bc i was watching a playthrough of skyward sword? i dunno but im giving him my chronic pain and making him experience what my first real flare up was like. i had no idea what was happening and it was scary so projecting on the blorbo will hopefully make it less stressful to think about.

sky you better get ready, your about to feel pain!! mwahahahahaaha

[infect-your-robot-with-maverick]

It's been a while since the incident happened... I thought it would be nothing... That it would be useful but... This thing is a virus... And is killing robots... Two robots have been deactivated, the names I'm seeing here are Scratch and Orbot... Damnit... What have I done...?

I didn't want this... I didn't want to kill someone... But here I am... Holding the tablet... Seeing the people I killed...

[mrs-monaghan]

Not jikook spending another silver day together in a korean restaurant in NYC (and in matching outfits of course)

Matching black and white clothes on fucking silver day!?!?!?! Do we have our black and white couple back???

Holy shit. So much for Jikook not hanging out together off camera. So much for Jikook fan service

Like KM FACT said: