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vapid-slut · 4 years

Text

Perfect Harmony; Ch.1

Warning[s]: Swearing, Michael being a dirty bitch

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Entering her senior year as a cheerio, the reader is excited to combine both her love of music and her newfound popularity. To Michael, however, this is the perfect opportunity to fuck with his innocent neighbor

A/N: Can we say, I hate this, because I really do. I have no idea what has compelled me to post this dumpster, just know that if you read this, no u didn’t <3 + I did not proofread this so if theres any typos I’m so sorry, I’m running on 4 hrs of sleep and 5 cups of coffee

Music was your life. Your parents often joked that you were singing before you uttered your first word. Unfortunately, there were no music clubs during your past two years of high school. It was only last year that you and the glee club won nationals, hence why you were able to keep funding. School administration was never really fond of the arts, but they would bend over backward to give the sports clubs whatever they needed.

Your biggest dream was to get a scholarship, preferably for music, since you excelled at it. All your life, you watched your father slave away to keep you happy. You just wanted to repay his kindness. Abruptly, your dream, which entailed you winning a grammy, was disrupted by the ringing of your alarm clock. Your arm stretched over to your nightstand, turning the device off, bringing the sound to a halt.

Slowly, you removed the sheets off your body, standing up for a brief stretch before walking to your bathroom. You went about your morning routine much quicker than you typically would. Mostly due to your excitement, this year would be the first that you spent closer to the top of the social food chain. Over the summer, your dad became fast friends with Coach Sylvester. She had come over a few times. And although their relationship was strictly platonic, they both had grown fond of each other. A week before school, she offered you a spot on the cheerios, one you couldn't turn down. Cheerleaders were at the very top of the pyramid. Girls wanted to be them while boys wanted to be with them.

Once you had finished doing the bare necessities your morning required, you hastily made your way to your closet, immediately reaching for one of the three cheerleading uniforms hanging on the rack. You stripped out of your pajamas before slipping into the skimpy skirt, unaware that you had an admirer. Michael had moved next door a few months into your freshman year, was a rather charming boy. He quickly became a hot commodity, no doubt due to how impeccably handsome he was. You were never too fond of him, but even you had to admit that he was a divine sight.

It never truly bothered you that the window into your room was straight across from the one piercing into his. But if you could see the look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you undress, you'd feel very unnerved. The boy had always felt attracted to you. He saw you as a challenge. You were one of the few students in your grade who was still a virgin. Not due to your looks, you frankly didn't have the time to go to parties or hook up with people. Your focus was on your education. And if getting into a great school meant sacrificing your social life, you were content with that.

Once you had finished getting your uniform on and slicking your hair into a neat updo, you gathered your things into your bag and hurried downstairs for breakfast. "Mornin' kiddo!" Your dad said, greeting you with a smile. You muttered a cheerful 'hey' in response, walking towards one of the cabinets full of cereal boxes. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. My car had to get fixed up last night so, I'll have to take yours today." You shrugged as a reply, not caring. "So am I taking the bus today?" Your father shook his head, reaching for a spoon at the same time. "No. That nice boy next door offered to give you a ride today. Isn't that sweet?"

Fuck- you thought to yourself, of course, the universe found some way to screw up your day. You took a long sigh before shifting your eyes to the clock on the wall. "Shit! I'm sorry, dad. I'd love to eat breakfast, but the Glee meeting starts in 20 minutes." Your dad shrugged, not too bothered. "It's fine, go have fun and tell Michael I said hello." You nodded to your old man, and with that, you were up and out the door.

As soon as you stepped foot outside, there he was. Hair perfectly curled, toothpick dangling from his soft lips. You sighed, walking towards the blonde, waiting for him to get out of the way. "Wow, you become a cheerleader, and now you think you're hot shit?" He spat, you gave him a death glare before pushing him lightly to get inside the car. He followed suit, taking his place in the driver's seat. "As much as I find you annoying, your ass does look great in that skirt." You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the boy as he started driving. "Listen up, Pillsbury fuckboy. Though this might seem hard to understand, I don't like you. And I'd rather not spend my senior year arguing with someone as unbearable as you, so can you please leave me alone?!"

The blonde chuckled at your response. Your mouth said one thing while your thoughts said another. "Your wish is my command." He mumbled sarcastically before reaching to turn up the music on the radio to an obscene volume. The rest of the car ride was entirely uneventful, neither of you uttering a word to each other. Ultimately, you had reached the school parking lot. Not many cars were there since it was early, and only a few clubs were meeting today. Before Michael could do anything, you swiftly got out the car, making sure to slam it loudly. "Don't fucking slam the door!" He said, his voice reaching you even though you were still walking, in response you promptly flipped him off. "Fucking bitch." He uttered lowly as you slowly left his field of view.

-----

"Welcome back, New Directions!" Glee's coach, Mr.Shue, said as you embraced your friends. "As you know, this will be our last year together, and a few of our beloved friends have left for college already. Which means we'll be having auditions for some newcomers." As he spoke, he walked over to the whiteboard, grabbing his trusted magic marker. "But there's a twist." You and everyone else in the room watched as he wrote out the words American Idol. "This time, you'll be judging with me."

You would typically be seated next to Tina and Mercedes, but they were both absent for the meeting. Instead, you sat with Santana on your left and Quinn to your right. You had to admit that it felt nice. Usually, you wouldn't ponder on things so benign. But you had spent most of high school getting teased by Michael and the rest of his sought after friends. Not a day went by that slushies weren't thrown in your face, now you could finally walk the halls without fear of humiliation.

Besides that, you were also really ecstatic to help Mr. Shue with auditions. Glee club was what had brought a group of entirely different people together. So you'd be more than glad to share that with a new ensemble of students before you all went your final ways.

-----

The rest of your day went by quicker than usual. There wasn't much to learn on the first day. Once the clock hit 3:30, You rushed to the auditorium as if your life depended on it. You had to admit that you missed the stage, singing, and dancing with your friends. You made your way the middle of the seating area, taking your place beside Artie.

A majority of the auditions were lackluster. Only a handful stood out. Like that girl Marley and that kid Jake. You were just about ready to leave and go home until something caught your attention. "Michael Langdon?" Your eyes lit up immediately as you heard the name. You watched as the blue-eyed boy made his way to the stage, smug look on his face.

There was no way in hell Michael fucking Langdon, the same boy who referred to glee as "homo explosion," would ever willingly audition. His rendition of "Suit and Tie" was incredible, which only pissed you off more. Not only was he insanely attractive, but he just had to be talented too, fucking men.

You watched as your fellow glee members watched in amusement. It was the girls who seemed most excited. Eventually, it all became too much, and before the boy could finish entertaining your friends, you stormed off into the parking lot. Far too upset with the blonde to drive home with him, you sent your friend Mike a text asking if he could get you. He lived pretty close to the school, so you knew it would only take a few minutes.

-----

By the time Mike had pulled up to the building, the other glee kids were exiting. You quickly reached for the door of his car, rushing to get to the passenger seat. "You alright?" He asked, worried by how fidgety you were. You nodded. "Yea, I just wanna go home." Mike was always very comforting. The two of you became friends during your freshman year, mostly because of how many classes you shared. You both had a love for music and were smart, so it wasn't long before you two clicked.

Within a few minutes, you had arrived at your house, Mike flashing you a smile. "Thank you for coming to get me. It means a lot." The dark-haired boy shrugged. "It's no biggie, see you tomorrow, cheerio." You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Whatever, jock-face." And with that, you entered your home.

The house was currently empty. He was taking the night shift at the hospital so, he probably wouldn't come back till late at night. You walked up the stairs to your room, dropping your bag on the floor. After everything that had gone down today, you were exhausted. You quickly took off the scanty cheer uniform and slipped on your much softer penguin pajamas.

You practically threw yourself on the bed, hoping to get some rest, but were promptly distracted by a notification on your phone. The text, from an unknown number nonetheless, read 'look outside your window.' You quickly sat up, confused, and turned your head only for your eyes to be met by Michael Langdon, who just happened to be balls deep inside some random brunette.

You gave the boy a disgusted look before pulling down your blinds. Never in your life had you been more repulsed. Your mind tried long and hard to block out any memory of what you just witnessed. After around forty-five minutes, you received another text message from non-other than Michael.

'It's a shame you missed my performance."

'Go fuck yourself, Langdon.'

'If you say so ;)'

The rest of the night, you wondered what you had done to be the new subject of Mr. Pillsbury Fuckboys torment. You had spent most of your high school years avoiding him at cost. Suddenly it seemed like you weren't getting rid of him anytime soon. You were just lucky you only had to endure this for a few more months, and then you'd be on your way.

Or so you thought.

#Hawthorn!Michael x Reader #michael langdon x reader #michael langdong imagine #michael langdon smut #michael langdon blurb #michael langdon

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hopeinlv · 3 years

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[Taehyung oneshot] Highschool love story.

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{PART 1}

Jungkook : Grandma grandma, it's too early we aren't able to sleep.

Namjoon : Yes grandma. Please tell us one story. We all promise we'll sleep after listening the story.

Grandma : Okay okay. Everyone sit down. I'll tell you one story. Listen properly.

Everyone : Yes.

•Flash back•

Author's pov :

Y/N was from busan. From a middle class family mom, dad, grandma and brother. As you'll know the bond of daughter and father , the same she has with her father. They always enjoy roasting her mother. A small family with lots of enjoyment. But one day her mother fell on the floor while cooking. Her father immediately shifted her mother to the hospital. Doctor said she has only 2 months left in her life. Her father (Mr. Park) returned back home with his disappointed face.

Y/N : What happen appa? Is everything alright?

Mr Park : Yes, my sweetheart.

Y/N : Don't lie appa. I heard everything.

Tears of Mr Park rolled down the cheeks. Y/N hugged him and made him calm.

Y/N : Appa, God is there. Everything will be alright.

Y/N was the elder daughter of her family. She know that her mother has only few months left. She decided to resign from school and apply for a job. The only aim she had from the day she heard the news was to keep her family happy and educate her brother.

After 2 months her mother left the world. Her father decided to do second marriage for his daughter and son. He oppose for the job to Y/N because she was only 14 years young girl. Y/N wasn't against her Dad because she respect his every word.

Next month her father did the second marriage. Within a month her grandma too left the world. Y/N's step mother was very rude to her and her brother till she had her own child.

Her step mother forced her to apply for a job so that she could get more money to live a luxurious life. Even during any festival her step mother use to buy new clothes for herself and her son and husband. Y/N and her brother never complaint about there step mother towards their Dad.

After 3 years, Y/N went to highschool for her higher studies. There she had a part time job to fulfill her and her brother's needs.

Y/N was very clever in studies. She always ranked 1st in her studies.

One day, she was in hurry to go for a job. She got late due to the extra classes. She forgot her I'd in the classroom.

The handsome boy entered in the class, he was no other than Taehyung, a chocolate boy of College and the son of great business man. He saw I'd card on the bench. She took that I'd card.

Taehyung's pov:

BEAUTIFUL!! I wanna meet her. Such a lovely girl I never meet in my life.

Some girls entered in the class namely Mina, Tzuyu, Momo and Dahyun.

Mina : Hey Taehyung, if you are free then can we hangout today?

Taehyung : Ahh..! Am not free today. I wanna do some work.

Tzuyu : Oh come on, don't make excuses. Please Taehyung for us.

Taehyung : Okay! I am ready.

Momo : So yes. Today on 7 pm at Suduko's cafe.

Everyone : Yaah fine.

Everyone went at their house.

Everyone reached at the cafe.

Momo : So, let's go!

Taehyung : Yes.

Everyone enters.

Mina : So today's bill will be paid by me.

Taehyung : Ohh. Okay!

Momo : Wohoo!

Jennie : Oh lisa , something special?

Mina : Obviously!! Me and jin have patchup with eachother.

Taehyung : Oh that's great news!

"Phone rings"

Taehyung : Excuse me.

Waiter : Hello everyone. Thankyou for visiting to our restaurant. Here is the menu card.

Mina : Hey everyone , order whatever you want.

Tzuyu : So I want pizza.

Momo : I will have burger and some fries.

Dahyun : I want hotdog.

Mina : Okay I too want pizza and some fries and bring icecream at the last and bring a cup of coffee to everyone.

Tzuyu : I don't want coffee. I will have drink.

Dahyun : Yaah, me too!

Waiter : Okay mam!

After taking order she was going for baking those , suddenly she hit with a man. He was no other , Taehyung.

Taehyung was staring at her. He recognised her. She was Y/N , who is working at cafe as a waiter (part time job).

Y/N was knowing Taehyung very well because they both were in same highschool. She know he is a chocolate boy. Seeing all girls with him she thought he is a playboy. She misunderstood him.

Taehyung : I am sorry!

Y/N : It's okay!

She went to make the dishes.

Y/N bought all the dishes. But Taehyung still was staring at her. She was feeling awkward. She kept the dishes and went for her work. Taehyung thought she will come again to give the bill. But she send to some other girl.

•Next day•

Y/N was going towards her class. Suddenly Taehyung stood behind her.

Y/N : You? Wh-why you are following me?

Taehyung : Ahh am not following you.

Y/N : What? Yesterday at cafe you were staring at me. I was feeling awkward because of that act.

Taehyung : Oh-ohkay sorry. Am sorry.

Y/N : No it's okay. But please stop following me.

Taehyung : Ohkay wait. I just want to give you something.

Y/N : What?

Taehyung : Yesterday , You forgot your I'd card in the classroom.

Y/N : Oh thankyou!

Taehyung : Mention not.

Y/N gave a sweet smile. Taehyung was still staring at her. She went from there suddenly when she feel like he was flirting.

Taehyung's pov :

I don't know why, but she is so sweet. [Yaar fida ho gaye hum]

•Next day•

Author's pov :

Taehyung entered in the class. The time he entered in the class he started searching Y/N. But she was late due to the late night studies. She entered in the class but till that time sir had been started the class.

Sir : Is this time to join the class?

Y/N : Sorry sir. Yesterday I slept late due to late night studies.

Sir : I don't want any excuses. You'll get the punishment for sure.

Y/N : Sir am not giving excuses.

Sir : Shut up. Your punishment is to write the 1st chapter of biology 20 times in rough notebook and you have to show me tomorrow before the class.

Y/N : Okay!

It was the recess time after 3 hrs lecture.

•In canteen•

Y/N was in her own world. She took her lunch and while going she crashed with the table. She got hurt in her stomach and her dish fell down. Taehyung suddenly rush towards her as he saw this incident. He helped her to get up.

Taehyung : Are you fine?

Y/N : Yes a-am fine!

Taehyung : Okay.

Taehyung's pov :

I know she lied to me. Okay no problem maybe she don't feel secure sharing with me.

Taehyung : Wait, I'll bring you another dish.

Y/N : Wait. Here's rule that we get the dish once.

Taehyung : What?

Y/N : Yes...

Taehyung : I wasn't knowing cause my mom is giving me tiffin everyday. She is strict about my health, hehe!

Y/N : Hmm!

Taehyung : Oh sorry. You can have my lunch. I'll adjust somewhere else.

Y/N : No! Thankyou for asking, but you can your own. Don't stay hungry because of me.

Taehyung : Come on Y/N. We are friend right? Are we?

Y/N : Ahh-h...

Taehyung : Say?

Y/N : Yes!

Taehyung : Yaah then I can share my lunch with you. Okay so we both will divide the dish equally.

Y/N : Yaah.

Y/N's pov :

I was wrong about him. He's nice guy.

Taehyung : So it's done. Now we can have the lunch. Come on let's start.

Y/N : Yaah.

Taehyung : Is your stomach alright? Should we visit to a dr?

Y/N : No! It's fine. After reaching home I'll have pain killer.

Taehyung : Okay! But if you will need my help you call me anytime. Here is my no. 1568xxxxxxx

Y/N : Okay! I saved your number.

Taehyung : Give me the missed call.

Y/N : Ahh-h why?

Taehyung : Umm so I'll also save your no. hehe.

Y/N : Okay!

Taehyung : Yaah okay received.

Y/N : Hmm.

•Bell rings•

Y/N : It's my lecture bye!

Taehyung : Bye!

•At night•

Jisso : Y/Niee tomorrow we have chemistry test. And you have punishment too to write the 1st chapter 20 times too.

Y/N : I know! I am tired. (Start crying)

*Door sound (knock-knock)*

Jeenie : Who's now? And at this time?

Rose : It's 10pm. And it's not allowed to roam anywhere to anyone.

Jisso : Yeah right!

Y/N : Wait let's see who's that.

Y/N opens the door.

Y/N : You?? Why did you came here?

??? : For you.

Y/N : What seriously Taehyung?

Taehyung : Let me get inside first. Otherwise I will get caught by someone.

Y/N : Yaah yaah!

Jennie : Ohhh! Chocolate boy came to meet someone.

Lisa : Umm. Carry on you both. We'll not disturb you.

Taehyung : Ahh noo. I just came to help Y/N. You'll can take your place.

Y/N : Help?

Taehyung : You have test tomorrow of chemistry and you have to write first lesson of biology 20 times as it is punishment.

Y/N : I'll complete it in time. You don't take any risk Taehyung.

Taehyung : Nooo!!!

Author pov:

Y/N holds Taehyung's hand and take him towards the door. Suddenly Taehyung pull Y/N towards him and hold her waist and release his other hand from Y/N and keeps on Y/N's mouth.

Taehyung : Am here to help you. You go and sleep. It's my order.

Rose : Ummmm we are awake.

Taehyung : Ahh-h, we-eh, nothing. You'll can sleep. Hehe!! Y/N give me the rough notebook and biology textbook.

Y/N : Bu-utt..

Taehyung : I said it's my order. Give me fast.

Y/N : Yaah here it is.

Author's pov:

Whole night taehyung was writing the lesson. He was working so hard for Y/N. He was proving that he truly loves Y/N.

• Morning 6 am •

Y/N woke up and checked her book. Taehyung completed it. He slept on the desk. She was so happy. Suddenly she saw Taehyung's hand which was swelling. She hold his hand, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She realised that Taehyung loves her truly. Drop of tear fell on Taehyung's face and he woke up. He saw tears in Y/N eyes.

Taehyung : Heyy, why you are crying?

Y/N : No, am not. It's ju-ust. Because of me your hand is swelling. Am sorry.

Taehyung : I did everything for you. From today there will be 'no sorry' and 'no thankyou' between us.

Y/N : Hm!

Taehyung get up from the chair and make Y/N to sit on the chair. And hold her hand tightly and wiped her eyes.

Taehyung : Am there with you at any situation. I don't know why but I feel special whenever I am staying with you.

Y/N was staring at him. Taehyung hugged her and was going to kiss her but Y/N roommate woke up.

Taehyung : Hey girls. Bubyee.

Everyone : Bubyee Taehyung.

Y/N : Thankyou.

Taehyung : Did you forgot? What did I said few minutes before?

Y/N : Uh- umm, sorry.

Taehyung : Again?

Y/N : Okay leave (giving peaceful smile)

To be continued~

#bts #kim taehyung #taehyung #taehyung oneshot #oneshot #fanfic #bts fanfic #bts army #highschool love

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physioblr · 5 years

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How to get a 4.0 with ADHD-C and Dyscalculia

(Or, how to survive Uni as a disabled student)

Disclaimer:

This is what has worked for me. I don’t claim that this will work for everyone. Not every ADHD brain is the same. Also other axis of privilege, time of diagnosis, and support are different between people. I have severe ADHD-C and was diagnosed as a young adult and had little support to help me deal with my symptoms until I met my partner. Psychiatrists aren’t trained to help you deal with the range of issues you will face.

Do keep in mind as well that some professors are just ablest assholes. The idea that someone is kind, empathetic, or will always follow federal law just because they are in a profession that gives them a power differential is ridiculous. You may also run into professors that also take pride in their exam distributions looking like a statistician’s nightmare. Keep an eye out for the obvious dog whistles, and do research before registration when possible. If you end up in these situations, drop the class during the add/drop period if you can. If not, be prepared for your GPA to take a hit.

I’m writing this from an American perspective, if you are in the UK/Europe I lived in Scotland for 5 years and would be happy to help if you have questions regarding the Equality Act 2010 and the UN convention of disability rights.

A. Lifestyle:

1. Sleep hygiene. Sleep = study retention.

I had trouble sleeping for most of my life. I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep or stay asleep at the appropriate times. A lot of people deal with this by being “night owls” — i.e. just accepting that our clocks are set later than neurotypicals’. Other people deal with this by sleeping on a biphasic or polyphasic sleep schedule.

There is another option though. You can train yourself to go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. This might take a couple of weeks for your body to adjust. Here is how I did it:

Take your morning dose of medication about 30-40 minutes before you actually need to wake up. This allows medication to kick in. It’s similar to the trick of drinking a cup of coffee before taking a power nap. I have two alarms. One to take my medication, and the other to actually wake up. My medication alarms have a particular tone so that I don’t take my medication twice.

Wake up at the same time every day, including weekends. You can’t oversleep or your body won’t adjust. Do not press the snooze button. Get up right away to start your morning routine. The 5-10 minutes that your snooze gives you isn’t going to make you feel less tired. It will make your feel groggy, which is something called sleep inertia. Your body doesn’t get to complete a full sleep cycle, and it will donk you up.

Add going outside to your morning routine. Even if it’s the winter, or mostly dark. I have an adorable greyhound, and he has to go potty as soon as I wake up. In the very least open your blinds/curtains and open your windows to get some fresh air and morning light. Studies show that light effects our circadian rhythm. I find that even when it’s dark out though, going outside helps due to the cool morning air.

Keep a consistent morning routine. Do everything in order like you are going down a checklist of tasks. Make your bed as your final task. Don’t get back in your bed. Your bed is for sleep or sex only.

Go to bed at the same time every night, no matter what. Medication has likely worn off by the time you go to sleep, and contradictory to neurotypical belief, when your brain wanders it can make it harder to fall asleep. So can hyperfocusing. I find that reading can keep me up as I will hyperfocus, but listening to audiobooks doesn’t cause those problems. I turn off the lights, put a seep mask on, and play an audiobook with wireless headphones to help me get to sleep. I recommend reading/listening to something light like fantasy or science fiction. Save thrillers, horror, and mystery books to listen to during the day.

2. Exercise.

I recommend exercising in the morning everyday, cardio and strength training. Even if you just do some cardio 10-15 minutes, it is still beneficial. Most exercise physiologists would recommend a rest day, but I’ve found that lighter days work better than complete rest days. You will see a noticeable difference in your hyperactivity symptoms. It’s not simply that it gets the fidgets out of your system, it is good for a hyperactive mind and helps with emotional dysregulation as well. It will help you sleep at night too.

Always speak to your doctor before you begin any exercise regimen, especially if you are taking 60+ mg of ADHD medication and have not exercised regularly on your medication previously.

3. Eating.

Eat at the same time everyday. Your body will tell you you’re hungry at those times. It’s also helpful to schedule your food around medication so that you don’t repress your natural appetite. Also, not that it needs to be said, but the brain uses up a lot of calories. You need to eat to retain what you learn.

4. Emotional Regulation.

This is one of the hardest parts of ADHD that no one ever talks about. You may not even know what this is, or that emotional dysregulation is a symptom of ADHD. It’s never mentioned in the DSM or ICD because emotions are hard (and expensive) to quantify. A lot of medical professionals have never even heard of it. If you want to read up on it, I suggest reading work by Dr. Russell A. Barkley. To give you the basics though, ADHD brains fail to self regulate emotions. We have emotional impulsivity. When we take in sensory information for conscious appraisal the pathway goes like this: stimulus —> thalamus —> cortex —> amygdala. Our frontal cortex is not the greatest at giving us context, or telling us to chill out, so our amygdala can be in the driver’s seat often. This aspect can make us really fun people, because it can make us get excited easily and enjoy life to the fullest. It can also cause us problems. For example, expressing anger at your boss or teacher (even if you are rightfully angry) might not be the best—diplomacy may give a better outcome. Our amygdala doesn’t know what is best for our future selves.

So, how does one regulate emotion when you’re brain doesn’t function like you want it? Try practicing mindfulness. And no, I’m not taking about attending to everything coming into your working memory or weird granola hippy garbage. When you are having an emotional response, check in with yourself. Are you feeling overstimulated? Are you feeling understimulated? Are you hungry, are you thirsty? Are you tired? Is your medication wearing off? Notice patterns, notice what triggers the emotion, write it down. Develop a proverbial toolbox that can help you when you are not regulating your emotions well. This toolbox is individual to you, and it may take some trial and error.

Keep in mind that trauma is different than emotional dysregulation, although our emotional dysregulation doesn’t exactly help. A lot of us ADHD brains have experienced severe emotional trauma via ableism and abuse from the school system, from teachers, or from parents. It never gets talked about because it’s usually caused by someone in a position of authority, and we are hardly ever given a voice to talk about our own experiences. Find someone you can trust to talk to about it. Find ways to self sooth in a healthy way when re-experiencing that trauma. You may have complex PTSD. It’s difficult for us to get help for complex PTSD because society doesn’t recognize that disabled people experience trauma in a very unique way. Keep in mind PTSD wasn’t even considered a disability under the ADA until 2008, one couldn’t get social security for PTSD until 2017, and the ADA didn’t exist until 1990. If you do seek out help though, expect push back from some medical professionals, have someone that will support you through the process, and do so when you will not be experiencing new trauma. Also, remember, fellow ADHD brains are here and we all love and support you.

B. Disability Services:

I’m not going to sugar coat this. We are barely recognized as human beings, so our rights are always under fire. Being disabled in this world is like walking through a mine field. Not every university or work environment is going to follow the ADA. The ADA became law in 1990, and the abled have been dragging their feet ever since. It’s difficult to enforce, complaining to the government often leads to nothing, and getting a lawyer is expensive. It’s also hard to prove discrimination in court. The ADA leaves a lot of room for improvement. Ableism is a systemic problem pretty much worldwide. I’m not trying to upset anyone, but you need to be prepared for what you are up against.

1. Keep the nature of your disability private.

Never ever ever tell a professor or TA the nature of your disability. Tell them you have a disability recognized under the ADA which is federal law, do not tell them what disability you have. There are lots of tips on tumblr that will tell you to inform professors that you have x disability, and that they will be empathetic and blah blah blah. Those uninformed tips are putting your legal rights, and your grade, in danger. There are so many biases professors can and do have when it comes to ADHD and dyscalculia. You are just asking to experience ableism if you divulge. Some professors don’t believe that ADHD is a disability, or they believe that vaccines cause ADHD, or that you just magically grow out of ADHD when you turn 18 etc. It isn’t your job to deal with their delusions, their biases, or their ableism — that’s their therapists’ or HRs’ problem. You do not have to tell anyone but your university disability services. Under the ADA you have a legal right to privacy, but if you divulge to a professor you are waiving that right.

I also wouldn’t recommend telling other students the nature of your disability. Unless you are pretty sure the other student also has your disability, but even then internalized ableism is a thing. You never know who they are going to tell, if they are ableist, or how they feel about your accommodations. You never want an abled student crying to a professor because they think your accommodations are “unfair”. If a student wants to know what disability you have, and you want to tell them something because you have become acquaintances/friends but don’t want to tell them exactly, say that you have a neurodevelopmental disability and/or a learning disability.

2. Advocate for your legal accommodations.

Disability services are not going to hold your hand. They are not going to simply offer you all the accommodations that you are legally allowed or would make you successful. They deal with hundreds of other students and likely have accommodations they offer everyone, regardless of the type of disability you have. Request accommodations that actually put you on the same playing field as everyone else. Read the ADA, and understand what reasonable accommodations are.

If you have ADHD, I would recommend requesting extended time on exams and assignments, a private room to take exams in that is free of distraction, handouts/materials and textbooks in text-to-speech capable formats, the ability to take breaks in-class or exams, reduced course load, and the ability to record lectures for note-taking. You may be able to request a memory aid for ADHD, as a lot of ADHD brains have very low working memory (also called short term memory) capacity. Part of our attention difficulties come from low working memory capacity as sensory input goes through working memory before it is stored in long term memory. Anything stored in long term memory must be pulled back into working memory to be used and manipulated. Get a psychologist that specializes in ADHD adults to test your working memory capacity if needed.

If you have dyscalculia, I would recommend requesting a memory aid (used for formulas, constants, equations etc), the use of calculator on exams and assignments, extended time on exams and assignments, reduced course load, and a private room for exams.

3. Get accommodations implemented.

This is a different process than getting accommodations approved. My uni makes me contact professors at the start of the quarter in an ‘engagement process’. Due to re-experiencing trauma, I avoid setting up a meeting with professors and just email. Emailing prevents professors form cornering you or badgering you to divulge your disability, or subtly threatening you about your registration or degree, and puts everything in writing so there is a legal paper trail.

Professors may try to get out of their legal obligations. I have had this happen multiple times. I’ve even had professors tell me that accommodations aren’t helpful for disabled students, or that they are not fair to abled students — I responded with “well it’s not fair that I was born with a disability and that you’re gatekeeping disabled people from getting an education”… they didn’t take that well. Do not try to argue with a professor about your disability rights or accommodations, it will only make you upset and they will likely accuse you of being hysterical or unstable. I’ve even had a professor say that I “threatened” them when I simply reminded them of their legal obligations under federal law as they were trying to not implement accommodations. This is why email is the best choice — you have time to respond professionally and having the receipts is important to keep you legally safe. If a professor is being belligerent about implementing accommodations, tell disability services what is going on (forward your emails) and remind them that accommodations must be implemented in a timely manner under the ADA. If disability services tries to make you argue with your professor, say that you do not feel comfortable doing so. If they push further, tell them you would rather not without an attorney or other representative present — mention you would rather the university handle it internally as you are concerned bringing an attorney or representative into an argument would escalate the situation which isn’t ideal for anyone.

I have a standard email that I send professors during the ‘engagement process’ that I edit slightly to reflect the course. It is professional, polite, and reminds them of their legal obligations as well as university policy. In it I also outline what my approved accommodations are and suggest how they should be implemented.

4. Any paperwork you have to turn in, make sure to do it early.

Create reminders on your calendar, write the dates in your bujo future log, whatever you need to do to get that paperwork in on time. Read everything slowly. These are legal documents. If you have a support system… ASK FOR HELP. Seriously, don’t be afraid to ask your support system for help with legal documents.

C. Studying:

1. Choose two places to study.

I don’t like studying in the library or in cafes. I know it’s not as aesthetic to study at home, but it prevents me from people watching and getting distracted. I have two designated study areas. One is my desk, the other is a cozy couch. Choose locations based on stimulation and comfort. My desk is fairly understimulating, while the couch is a bit more stimulation.

2. Learn to use your hyperfocus.

Most reading this probably know what you need to get in the hyperfocus zone. If you don’t, then note any patterns/conditions when it happens so you will have an easier time using the only ADHD super power you’ve got. When you are hyperfocusing on studying, ride the wave for as long as you can. However, make sure to set alarms to eat, go to the bathroom, stretch etc. Don’t let your hyperfocus keep you from taking care of yourself.

3. Create a study routine.

I know I keep blathering on about routines, but it helps. Treat studying like you would training as a professional athlete. When you have a study routine, you never have to decide to study. That decision is already made for you. When studying for exams, make a checklist of everything you need to cover. Ask the professor in advance about what is going to be covered on exams so that you can make an exam study plan early. If your professor is a garbage person and won’t tell you use the syllabus, textbook readings, labs, lecture slides, and snoop on the internet for past exams. Last minute learning is never a good idea. The human brain simply can’t do it, and your working memory capacity is too low to cram.

4. Accept that everything will take you longer, and that it’s okay.

It sucks, it really does. Those neurotypicals don’t know how lucky they are. It’s going to take you longer to read, to learn material, and to do basically anything in life. That’s okay, you do you. Don’t compare yourself to others, it will only cause you to feel bad about yourself. Guess what though, you are already a statistical anomaly. Only 32% of ADHD children graduate high school. Only 22% of adults with ADHD get into university. Only 5% of ADHD adults graduate from university. You are already punching those statistics in the face by existing. Seriously, do what you need to do and fuck anyone that has a problem with it. You’ve got this!

5. Create the environment you need for your brain.

Sometimes I’m feeling really over stimulated and I need complete silence. Sometimes I feel at a sort of stimulation equilibrium and I listen to lofi study beats playlists. Sometimes I feel understimulated or I’m doing something really tedious, and I need to put on a tv show or a movie in the background. I keep a list of TV shows and movies that I can put on in such cases. Pick things that you won’t really watch and that you are familiar with. It usually helps me transition so that I can start the studying task. Listen to your body and do what works for you.

6. Don’t use the pomodoro technique.

The pomodoro technique was made for neurotypicals. ADHD brains have difficulty transitioning between tasks. It’s better to study for as long as you can maintain focus or hyperfocus than rely on a set 25 minutes. Again, be sure to eat and use the bathroom! You don’t want to be taken off your meds due to weight loss, and you don’t want to get a UTI.

D. Tools of the Trade:

1. iPad Pro & Apple Pencil v.s. Echo Livescribe Smart Pen

I used to use the echo livescribe smart pen but now I use an iPad. It’s cheaper in the long run and I don’t have to worry about running out of paper. Apple has way better customer support as well as iCloud backups, plus they can find your device if lost. Now I only use the echo livescribe pen when taking exams. My university lets me use one from the disability office so that I can make verbal notes when doing long answer exam questions and to keep track of my thoughts if I want to skip over a question and come back to it. I requested it as an accommodation, it had to be approved by committee. They actually thanked me for being so creative and trained the person in charge of accessible technology so that it could be used with other students. It’s almost like asking disabled students about what helps us and our experiences is a good thing!

2. Notability

I use the app Notability for lectures as it can record the lecture and has great organizational capabilities. I usually copy/paste slides into my notes so that I can write on them as well. I also use Notability to read textbooks. It’s got fairly good text-to-speech compatibility, so you can move around if you need to.

3. Goodnotes 5

I use the Goodnotes 5 app for a digital bujo as well as for making mind maps. It’s got some great shape recognition functions. Although Notability has improved their shape functionality, it’s still not as great as Goodnotes 5.

4. iWork

I also use pages on my iPad to make condensed study guides / study notes. It’s also really great for writing essays or making tables. I used to hand-write study notes, but it takes way longer.

4. Omnifocus

Omnifocus is great for breaking down big projects into smaller tasks or making quick checklists. It’s a bit of a pain to learn how to use, but once you do it’s completely worth it.

5. Quizlet Plus

Quizlet Plus is completely worth it. I use it a lot for figures or structures I have to memorize, I draw figures in Notability and take a screen shot or grab it from my textbook. It’s a really amazing flashcard app. Also, if you have your textbook on your device, you can copy/paste definitions right into quizlet.

6. Studybreak

Studybreak is a great app for iphone. It tells you how long you have been studying, nags you if you’ve touched your phone to scroll social media, and can suggest that you take a break. You can program it to set how long you want to study for, how long you want to take a break for etc. You can also ignore the break suggestion which is nice when one is hyperfocusing. It also keeps statistics on how long you have been studying and for which subjects.

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rocohen20 · 5 years

Text

He Knew He Fucked Up- Part 6

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Series Update, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

~~~~~

At the summer, right after Emma and Tyler decided to give this marriage a chance, they decided on a game-plan. As a cause of that by the time Emma moved in with Tyler most of the logistical and technical issues had already been taken care of. In Tyler's case the most important parts were to let management know about the marriage and checking with the legal department how his marriage to an American citizen affected his work visa. In addition he and Emma made sure to set up a prenup with their respective lawyers.

That game-plan was efficient and helpful with all the logistical stuff. But it wasn't really helpful with making each of them get over their last relationship (which Tyler was surprised to find out was also because of cheating in Emma's case) and with helping them fall in love with one another.

In that regard they got to an agreement in which first they needed to become friends and only then try the romantic part. Their philosophy in the journey to friendship was to be joined at the hip and do as many things together. They watched movies and TV shows, dud joint meals, and every other activity they could think of. With each activity they tried to find as many talking topics as they possibly could. Just before them starting to forcibly hanging out together Tyler was sure they would fail miserably and give up after one week. But he was surprised to discover it wasn't a total fail. He and Emma had similar taste in movies so they mostly stuck to that. Plus with him helping Emma with the job hunt and her interest to learn about hockey he started to have a sliver of hope that this could actually work.

During the preseason, while Emma got to taste a mock version of the NHL season's schedule, she decided that once a week they would hold a date-night or skype dates for when he was on the road. Tyler had agreed to it, even to Emma's insistence on every week someone else would plan the date. They mostly stuck to easy-going dates where they had plenty of opportunities to talk. Tyler's favorite date was the one he was in charge of- miniature golf. Tyler mostly picked that one because it contained light-natured contest. However, during the game he found out that Emma had some serious golf game. Apparently she was used to golf and miniature golf with her mother.

+++

When the final buzzer was played at Colorado, cementing their three to nothing loss, he was done with the world. He felt like since the start of the season they hadn't really succeeded in playing consistently, too many losing streak-winning steak-losing streak for him to be happy and secure in their play. He hated that feeling. He wanted to find this stride for their team, for their play.

During the flight home he ignored the rest while playing too loud music in his earpieces and staring stoically out the window. It was a night flight so there wasn't much view to look at but it didn't matter to him. Sometime after the departure he felt so frustrated and agitated he couldn't sit steal at his seat. So, he tried to distract himself.

As he tried to think of a distraction he remembered that tomorrow was Emma's turn to plan a date, and he perked right away. The majority of her dates consisted of staying at home while doing some fun activity, so Tyler tried to guess what they'll be doing this time. Tyler didn't mind them staying at home, plus he wasn't oblivious to the fact that him being a somewhat public figure weirded Emma a bit. The first time Emma saw someone approach him and ask for an autograph she got kind of quiet and weird. Tyler couldn’t blame her for said reaction one bit, him being a professional athlete did have an impact on the relationship and she didn't sign up for it when she accidentally married him.

In addition she told him about her ex, about how he was smart, educated and worked at the same company of hers- in the HR department. In short the complete opposite of Tyler in every shape of form. When she told him about how they got engaged after two years of dating, he kind of feared to hear the rest of the story. Emma already had tears in her eyes so he reminded her that she didn't have to confess to him about what happened to her and her ex. Yet she insisted, mentioning how if they were about to live together she felt obligated to inform him of her damage. Then she continued to tell him about how she caught him cheating on her three months prior to the wedding. Tyler told her about his cheating story only to show her she wasn't alone, but he knew that what he felt wasn't even close to her hurt and betrayal from the person she was about to spent the rest of her life with.

+++

With him returning home so late at night he missed Emma the next morning, with her going to work. It was only her second week working at some tech company he hadn't really heard of before, and they were still at the transition phase where they hadn't aligned their schedules perfectly. It was an off day for Tyler and with only planned plan was for the evening. Tyler took his time and chilled around the house.

Around four pm he heard Emma's voice call out for him. She sounded kind of strange so he hurried to check up on her. Once he saw her he wasn't surprised of her voice. She was carrying lots of begs to the kitchen, to the amount that Tyler was caught starring incredulously.

"Don't just stare at me. There are still a few bags in my car, so go get them".

That did the trick and Tyler hurried to fill out her request. Once Emma finished stocking the fridge and freezer to the brim she was finally available for him to ask "Did you rob a grocery store?"

Tyler still felt one step behind, especially when Emma just shrugged and perkily said "No, I paid for it".

He was still left to stare at her when suddenly a thought occurred to him.

"Are you cooking us a homemade meal?"

Emma mentioned in passing to him once about her love of cooking, and indeed she cooked a few time since moving in. However it was never at that scale. Emma looked at him with a predatory look and replied with "No, I'm not cooing us a meal…"

Tyler felt a bit disappointed, well until he heard the rest of her sentence.

"…You're cooking us a meal".

With that Tyler couldn't resist himself and just burst out laughing. He was so out of it, laughing so hard he was crying and in passing missed Emma's displeased expression. That's why the second he recollected himself she started explaining herself with an undertone of anger.

"Yesterday I had some free time before your game so I went to YouTube. You know what I had in the suggestions?"

Emma looked at him expectedly so he tried to think of an answer that prevented her from getting angrier. Eventually he settled on "A cooking show?"

Emma shook her head disappointedly and Tyler couldn't stop himself from feeling bad, even though he wasn't a magician and couldn't read minds.

"Close but no. I was suggested the new episode of Puck personality".

She stopped once again for Tyler to connect the dots himself. However when he was filmed for the show he did like five or six episode in a row. So he couldn't name you which episode was uploaded now or his answer in said episode. He just decided to stare blankly at Emma until she would feel gracious enough to tell him what he told the makers of the video a few months ago. It did the trick eventually and Emma continued.

"The episode was about what's the best dish you could make. You know what you said?"

It was such an accusing question and he felt bad answering honestly with "I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich".

"Exactly! And this is why we are changing it. A grown man in his twenties needs to know how to make some basic things".

With hearing Emma's plan, and more accurately her determined and excited tone, something inside of him stirred. He tried to sound unaffected and cool while asking "You're going to teach me how to cook?" but he was pretty sure he failed miserably judging by the huge smile that happen to appear on Emma's face.

"You know it. So here's the deal- today's date in going to be a homemade meal which we cook together. I'm going to walk us through each step of the way and you're going to listen. Later we'll of course enjoy eating said meal. However, one cooking session would not be enough, so in addition to date night we're going to have a cooking night. As time would progress you'll be in charge of the meal solely. You accept the deal?"

Tyler waited all of three seconds to agree on it.

+++

At the end of dinner Tyler was stuffed to the brim. Emma let him be in charge of the mash potatoes and the chicken, which wasn't much but it was a start. It was late evening when they were done with the date so Tyler felt comfortable suggesting they'd watch a bit of television. They didn't really focus on the show, mostly trying to compare their schedules and find a proper time for a follow up cooking class. Emma told him that next time he was in charge of the main course. Tyler wasn't that confident in his skills, but he indeed was eager to try.

+++

The off day must've done something good because it led them to a five game winning streak, the biggest they had yet. During that streak he and Emma had a chance for the promised follow up. Emma was nice enough to write him a list of instruction for all the recipes. The main course was some kind of all in one pot so there were high stakes on his shoulders. In the end it turned out he messed up with the seasoning and overcooked it just a bit. It was still edible, just not as good as it could've been.

At the middle of dinner, once Tyler told Emma how he felt guilty for making them eat for the next few days his cooked meals Emma suggested the perfect solution- To invite some guys on the team to have dinner with them. Emma also wanted to make advantage of that setting to get to know the team and their significant others.

+++

After the first meal where he invited the rookies, figuring they'd be desperate enough to company and free meal that they would not have high demands, the rumor of him hosting meals at his house in an attempt to cook got to everyone on the team. After many of the older guys' first-hand experience with Tyler's abysmal cooking abilities, the only reason they booked themselves a night for those dinners (Rads made a sign-up sheet and forwarded them to everyone's mail of the team). Each of them tried to insist on their urge to cheer him on, but he wasn't fooled, it was for the prime chirp material. However Tyler didn't care, in the end of the day there were participants in the dinners and he was proud of himself.

+++

After yet another losing streak they were at New York, playing against the Rangers and the Islanders. They had an off day between the two games so the team went to a fine restaurant for team dinner. Jamie and Tyler ended up sitting side by side, which was fine with Tyler. The team laughed and talked until the food was brought up to the table. Then they spent the next five minutes quietly trying their respective meals. Tyler ordered salmon with rice and a salad, so he was enjoying the fish when from beside him he heard Jamie moaning on his bite from his stake and mash potatoes combo. That wasn't unordinary considering the fact that Jamie was a stake-loving person. What was unexpected was the fact that afterward he told Tyler, loud enough for the rest of the table to hear him as well, how he expected a nice rear stake with mash potatoes on the side on his turn of dinner meal at Tyler's house.

That remark caught him off guard, as of the fact that Jamie didn't sign up for any opening in Rad's signing sheet. However his confusion hadn't bothered anyone else at the table and it set them off for another chirp rant on Tyler's cooking and demands of their own. Tyler was a master of being the bigger man when it came to chirping, so he just laughed right back and proclaimed they needed to thank him for gracing them with his food. Afterwards he immediately turned to Jamie and told him frankly "For you to eat anything at my house you first need to sign up for a meal".

Jamie's cheeks turned red quickly but his smile wasn't affected by the statement. He just shot right back "As your best friend on your team you can't expect me to dine at the fine establishment whose also known as your house with other players of the team".

Tyler, and the rest, just doubled over from the silliness of this comment but he went along with it and told him that a personal reservation would be included at the establishment's log. From there the conversation took a turn for the game they had last night and Tyler happily returned to his meal.

When they finished with the meal some of the team decided to go explore the place a little more. They were a group of eight so they segregated to pairs and set of threes during the walk. Tyler was happy that he and Jamie were still side by side because he felt like it was a good time to ask Jamie about his house hunt.

Originally when Jamie told him why he was moving Tyler wanted to protest. He still believed that eventually Jamie would've returned to his bedroom and for go about the move. Yet he was supportive and not voiced his opinion. He also wanted to apologize for his reaction that faithful day. He was aware for the fact that if he hadn't fled the house and dropped out of the face of the earth Jamie would've been better now.

Tyler stepped out of his contemplation when Jamie started to tell him about the process. Jamie in general liked to be calculating and sure in every decision he made in life, and that decision was no exception. For the rest of the walk he went into a rent about how he still hadn't found what he was looking for, with many examples from houses he checked out. Also every couple of seconds he tipped off his hat and credited his realtor- Joanne.

At the restaurant Jamie may joked while telling everyone that he was Tyler's best friend off the team, yet it was true. Despite what happened in the summer Jamie was still Tyler's best friend and closest friend off the team. And Tyler was Jamie's best friend off the team as well (he was promoted to that position after Jordie's trade). So, Tyler knew the difference between Jamie being nice and professional to Jamie being nice and affectionate. Every time that Jamie would mention something she'd done there would be a soft smile on his face. Tyler knew from past experience that Jamie's "I like her" smile was involuntary so he didn't even bother to refer to it. However he was curious enough to ask "So, are you planning to make a move?"

To that Jamie stopped dead in his tracks, forcing Tyler to stop as well. They stared at each other for a few seconds, until Jamie opened his mouth.

"I literally don't know what you talk about, so no, I'm not planning to make a move or whatever".

Tyler took an assessed look at Jamie, focusing on his weak spot while lying- his shoulders. He saw how tensed they were and realized that Jamie was lying through his teeth. A flare of hurt made him lash out with a "Dude, I know you too well to not recognize when you're lying. If you don't want to make a move or whatever it's fine by me, but not pretend like I'm not aware of when you find someone you like".

When Tyler stopped talking he knew that Jamie deflection bothered him more deeply than he realized. He made a mental note to examine it once he returned home, maybe talking about it with Emma. Jamie apparently felt bad about it because he answered him much honestly this time.

"You're right. I shouldn't try to lie to you. I think that Joanne is intense and a bit scary but also kind of amazing. So I kind of like her, yet she is my realtor and it would be unprofessional to ask her out".

Knowing Jamie's morals and rules he knew there wasn't a point arguing about it. So he went with a different approach.

"Did you already talk with her about selling your own house after you buy the new one?"

He knew he caught Jamie off guard when he got a doubtful "Not yet, I wanted to find a new place first".

Tyler was happy to hear it because then he cheerily told Jamie "You can only use her service with finding a new place. And use another realtor, even one she recommend you of, to sell your current house. That's way once you bought the new house and all the paper work is done you no longer be using her services so you could ask her out".

Once Tyler finished with his suggestion he waited for Jamie's answer. He recognized how Jamie was a bit mind blown by the suggestion, one that was closed for him all this time. Eventually after a long while Jamie hesitantly opened his mouth. Tyler wasn't really eager to hear the answer, so he was quick to butt in.

"It's just a suggestion. You don't have to do something you feel uncomfortable with. However, I wanted you to know that it was nice seeing you happy again. It's been awhile since Julie and you're allowed to be happy. No pressure but think thoroughly about what you're going to do".

Jamie took those words in and just nodded his head contently. Tyler was satisfied with that reaction so he dropped the conversation entirely.

#hockey imagines #Tyler Seguin #tyler seguin imagine #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #nhl imagines #dallas stars #dallas stars imagine

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malaikoftaa · 4 years

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bye i have to do this because i read @blognotfound ‘s but whatever i’m bored anyways

1. think of the last person who said i love you, do you think they meant it?my brother lolol probably not

2. would you date an 18yr old at the age you are now? uh no

3. when was the last you were aggravated and happy at the same time? yesterday

4. would you ever smile at a stranger? yes i would

5. is there someone mad bc you’re dating or talking to the person you are? i’m single as hell so no

6. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? nah

7. what exactly are you wearing right now? running shorts and a shirt from my temple

8. how often do you listen to music? the real question is : when do i not listen to music?

9. do you wear jeans or sweats more? sweats

10. do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? it... has??

11. are you a social or antisocial person? it depends on how well i know you

12. have you ever kissed someone who’s name begins with the letter a? nope

13. what about the letter r? nope

14. can you drive a stick shift? ahahahahhahahaha funny joke no

15. do you care if people talk badly about you? not really

16. are you going out of town soon? nope

17. when was the last time you cried? yesterday because i’m dramatic asf

18. have you ever told someone you loved them? platonically yeah

19. if you could change your eye color, would you? mm maybe a few shades lighter than it is

20. is there a boy who you would absolutely everything for? yes my guy bsf

21. name something you dislike about the say you’re having. my mom’s listening to despacito yikes

22. is it cute when guys kiss you on the forehead? yeahhh

23. are you dating the last person you talked to? no because that would be incest and uhm ew

24. what are you sitting on rn? my bed

25. does anybody regularly tell you they love you? platonically yes

26. have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes

27. who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my best friend

28. do you get a lot of colds? nah

29. where is the shirt you’re wearing from? my temple

30. does anyone hate you? lol yeah

31. do you have empty alcohol bottles hidden in your room? no because i’m 13

32. do you like watching scary movies? yeah

33. do you wanna get your tongue pierced? ouch no

34. if you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2017

35. did you have a dream last night? yeah i went to chick fil a with margot robbie and we talked about leonardo dicaprio :)

36. when was the last time you told someone you love them? uh 2 days back

37. do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? uh please no

38. do you think someone has feelings for you? idk man

39. do you think someone is thinking of you rn? maybe?

40. did you have a good day yesterday? it was alright

41. think back 2 months ago. were you in a relationship? nope

42. in the next 48 hrs, will you hang out with a girl? my mom yeah

43. has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yeah

44. what’s the best part about school? lunch 👅

45. do you have any pictures on your facebook? i don’t even have fb in the first place

46. do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? yeah during tests because they all ask me for answers smh

47. do you replay things that happen in your head? omg yeah things from like 4 years back

48. were you single last summer? yes i was

49. is anything in your life like it was 2 years ago? not really no

50. what are you supposed to be doing rn? reading a book

51. do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? it depends

52. are you nice to everyone? lol nope

53. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yeah yikes

54. did you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yeah because i’m a nice person

55. are you good at hiding your feelings? depends

56. do you think you like someone? leonardo dicaprio yeah

57. have you ever kissed someone who’s name starts with j? nope

58. do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? both

59. has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yeah because i got reallyyyyyy shitty period cramps in class once

60. do you hate anyone? depends on how you define hate

61. how’s your heart? alright

62. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yes way too many

63. have you ever cried over a guy? no

64. who is probably talking a load of crap about you rn? uh my ex bsf who lives across the road isn’t that great

65. are your toenails painted pink? nope

66. will your next kiss be a mistake? uh that’d also be my first so idk maybe? i hope not tho

67. do girls love it when their bfs cry? uh no

68. have your pants ever fallen down in public? my kilt has while playing field hockey but i was wearing shorts underneath so its fine

69. who was the last person you were on the phone with? my bestfriend

70. how do you look rn? nasty

71. do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yeah most people unless you’re a total psycho

72. can you commit to one person? yeah

73. do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yeah

74. have you ever felt replaced? so so so many times

75. did you wake up cranky? nope

76. are you a jealous person? sometimes

77. are relationships ever worth it? haven’t been in one but i mean they should be worth it

78. anyone you’re giving up on? lolz my brother

79. currently wanting to see anyone? @kalenahaimm GET YOUR ASS OUTTA JAPAN AND BACK IN NJ PLEASE

80. name something you have to do tomorrow. uh eat?

81. last person you cried in front of? my mom

82. is there someone you’ll never forget? yep

83. do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? no cuz he don’t know me he’s a celebrity

84. if the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing rn? eating :)

85. are you over your past? nope

86. have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? uhh yeah that was a disaster

87. is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? yeah

88. if your fist true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents would you accept? no because that’d mean he stalked me al; the way from ohio to nj and that’s weird

89. so the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3am, do you let them in? a ghost. sure.

90. have you ever liked someone who your friends hates? yeah

91. will you be in a relationship in 2 months? doubt it

92. is there anyone you know with the name michael? my neighbor

93. have you ever kissed a matthew? nope

94. were you in a relationship in january? how was it going? nope

95. were you happy with the person you liked in march? i don’t think i liked anyone in march?

96. is the last person you texted attractive? yes she’s pretty

97. who do you have texts from? my 2 bsfs, my cousin, and a family friend

98. if the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “that’s great”

99. have you ever kissed someone older than you? nope

100. who’s in your pfp with you? uhh no one

101. ever kissed under fireworks? nope y’all really be making me feel single asf huh

102. has anybody ever given you butterflies? duh

#if you see this you gotta do it #sorry not sorry ahaha

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tmiquotepage · 5 years

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I REALLY Need Advice

(LONG post, but I appreciate any feedback you guys can offer me here!)

I currently work as a babysitter for three wonderful children for the summer. They are 7, 10, and 13. I used to watch them before school during the school year, and I watched them for Spring Break as well. The parents got a divorce not long after I started working for them, and so the kids travel back and forth between two apartments five minutes apart. That's the gist of the background.

Now, normally, my fee for babysitting, especially for 3 kids, is $10/hr. The hours I agreed to at the beginning of the summer were 6 am until 3 pm. (I also live 30 minutes away, but my hour of commuting and my gas were never on the table for reimbursement.) Well, the mom asked me on Spring Break if, since I would be watching the kids for 8 weeks, we could do $300 a week, as $450 would get "quite expensive after 8 weeks" (like, yeah. Individualized care for kids is expensive. If you want cheaper, put em in a camp or daycare. Jesus.). I got her to raise that amount to $350, because $300 for 45 hours a week is highway robbery and less than minimum wage. I wouldn’t be able to afford my car and the gas to move this summer. Okay. That was settled.

Summer time rolls around and, at the end of the school year, the mom gets a new boyfriend, who immediately moves in with her. We'll talk about this dude later, because WHEW. Anyway, despite the fact that this dude is constantly hungover and/or day drinking and/or sleeping, the mom decides he is an adequate babysitter for the kids a few days a week. So, my schedule becomes completely confusing (as in, the mom will literally wait until 10 pm the night before to tell me whether or not she needs me the next day, whether she wants me to come in late, etc.). Keep in mind, even though we said "$350 a week," I am really getting paid $70/day. Which is the same thing. Unless you get told at last minute that you aren't needed for the three days of the week the mom has the kids with her boyfriend, in which case, it's only $140. So, I am already having issues with how much I am getting paid BEFORE I get into the shit show that is the family dynamic I have to work with.

Now, let's talk about the family. I'll obviously give codenames, not real names, because I'm not a monster. We'll start with the parents, Popeye (Dad) and Diva (Mom).

Popeye is a good dad. Works hard, doesn't make a ton of money, but always spends what he has on his kids. His apartment has more kids toys than signs of being a bachelor pad. He works hard, hasn't seen anyone since the divorce. His primary focus has ALWAYS been his kids. He cooks dinner for them almost every night (eating out is MAD rare. He's a really good cook.) He is ex-Navy, so he can be a bit strict. He doesn't accept mouthing off or being rude, but he also isn't mean. I have never seen him yell at his children or get angry. He is completely in control of his emotions around them. He's not a huge hardass about censoring his kids either. He'll let them listen to explicit rap music, play war video games with the kids. He's careful, but not overprotective. He is a balanced, comfortable, imperfect but loving parent

And then there's Diva™️. Diva is an Australian transplant who has a master's degree in the art of giving facials. She is all about pristine living, Michael Kors jackets, and acting way more rich and perfect than she is (though she has a LOT more money than Popeye). Acts like she is God's gift to all mankind. She has a boyfriend, who we will call JT, that she puts above all else - including her 3 children. Dinner at her house is almost always take out because, as her 10 year old tells me, she knows how to cook, but badly, and she's just too lazy to do it. She runs her own business, is constantly looking for groupons for the kids to use. Or rather, looks for cheap things "kids their age" would like. I am convinced she knows nothing about her children's likes and dislikes. Their rooms are her house are sterile and clean and don't have much feeling. Whenever things are out of place, she makes them clean it up and chastises them because "they are old enough to know better." She acts the part of the nurturing, caring, all-natural mother, but her eyes and words are always cool and sharp as a blade. She, the small woman I could probably break like a toothpick, scares me more than the buff retired navy father or the ex-con she has living with her and her children. I get the feeling, from the way the kids talk about her, that they have the same fears as I do.

As a tack on the end of the adult descriptions, allow me to tell you the bit I know about JT, the mom's boyfriend. He is significantly younger than her, halfway between the ages of her and her 13 year old daughter. He is a hot head. No job. Sleeps most of the day. Often leave the apartment reeking of booze. Often hungover. Has been in jail before, though I am unsure as to what he was arrested for. From what the kids said, I believe it was some sort of assault, burglary, or armed robbery. He occasionally cooks the meals at the house, which means the kids are at least getting a little bit of non-fast-food when they stay there (or, as the mom puts it, when they “visit.” They apparently don't “live” there. They visit, like you might visit a grandparent.). He has a daughter that is 10 years old, who also lives with him at Diva's house when she isn't with her mom. JT is confrontational with Diva's 10 year old boy, which I'll talk about later. I never feel comfortable when he is around, because he seems misogynistic (he called his daughter a ho for wearing yoga pants out to play) and always looks like he's ready to start a fight. Even though he and the mom are just dating, he already acts like a stepdad to Diva's kid, and he is NOT the good kind. When the kids do something he doesn't like, he will call Diva and tell her to chastise and punish the children. Occasionally, he even gives them punishments like grounding them for three weeks, even though he has ZERO authority to do so. Diva always takes his side in arguments.

On to the kids. Diva and Popeye have three: Uni (13), Pathfinder (10), and Sharknado (7). JT has one daughter, Mellie (10).

Uni is the most mature of the kids. She is a very talented artist who has been dealing really well with the divorce, as she surrounds herself with friends, a positive attitude, and creative outlets, like skateboarding and drawing. She cooks for herself often, and easily adapts to whichever situation she is in. It rarely ever feels like a chore to watch her when we go somewhere. She helps with the boys when I am swamped, occasionally, and knows how to calm the youngest's tantrums. The only real issue I have with her is when she and the middle child get in arguments and she tried to mother him and chastise him. It doesn't go well.

Next up, we have Pathfinder. Pathfinder is a 10 year old boy, the middle child. He plays video games very well, and has a soft heart which he will show when you prove he can trust you. He is, by far, the best dancer and beat spitter in the whole family, and he is proud of the fact. Pathfinder has a few behavioral issues where he will lie, and push boundaries every once in a while. He gets heated when playing video games, and often plays way too roughly and/or doesn't share with his little brother. Pathfinder, however, I understand more than I think I used to. He is a middle child with a sick younger brother and an older sister who wants nothing to do with him. He gets bullied at school and doesn’t make friends easily. He is starting to show early signs of major depression. Perhaps most importantly, Pathfinder is not taking the divorce well. More specifically, he clashes like hell with Diva's boyfriend. JT often picks fights with him and gets in his face. JT constantly feels the need to assert authority over Pathfinder and intimidate him. Pathfinder has shared with me that he never feels comfortable staying with JT. He begs me to take him to his dad's, to get him out of the apartment whenever possible. A few weeks ago, he stood up for himself to the boyfriend. JT gog in his face and yelled at him, then grounded him off all electronics (which, let's be honest, was because he wanted to play Pathfinder's Xbox at Diva's apartment without Pathfinder telling him no, because he's the one that got it for his birthday). When Pathfinder told his dad that he didn't want to go to his mom's anymore, the mother called the kid while we were at the store getting supplies for a craft project to tell him he was grounded for longer and that she was now going to shave his hair that he's been growing out for two years because he isn't respecting her boyfriend. She told me he wasn't allowed to even do our craft or watch TV. He could “sit on the couch and twiddle his thumbs" all day. (I eventually said fuck it and let him do whatever he wanted because we were at Popeye's place, and I could see that this kid was positively distraught.) He is STILL grounded, 3 weeks later. Yesterday, JT came out of his bedroom while the kids were talking, got in Pathfinder's face and started calling him gay because his shorts were sagging a bit. I took Pathfinder to Popeye's because he was shaken at the altercation, and told his mom what happened. Her ONLY response was “[Pathfinder]’s main problem is that he can't take direction or obey adults, and he needs to work on that.” What's worse about this situation is this kid has since told me (since he knows I am gay and proud and accepting) that he feels like he might be bisexual. He doesn't feel like he’d be safe if his mom and JT found out he is interested in a boy in his class. Pathfinder has openly stated that he hates his life, dreads staying at his mom's place, feels completely alone, thinks no one loves him. He barely calls her “mom" anymore. He has said that, if she goes through with shaving his head, he will never call her “mom” again, and will basically disown her as his mother. Keep in mind with all this shit that this child is 10. Ten years old and already a god damned nearly suicide risk, judging by his words and behavior lately. I had a meltdown yesterday when I realized this much because, unless this kid get serious help, he could very easily be just another name on the news in the coming years, and that breaks my heart.

Finally, we have the youngest child of Popeye and Diva, Sharknado. Sharknado is seven. Sharknado is a total trainwreck in the behavioral department. This kid has an adrenal insufficiency that means he is reliant on a steroid the way a diabetic is reliant on insulin. He is a bit more prone to disease than other kids. As a result, the mother babies the ever-loving shit out of him. She lets him get away with absolutely everything, and blames Pathfinder if they are ever in an argument. Tells Pathfinder he has to be gentle with his little brother. As a result of this parenting, Sharknado is a MAJOR tantrum thrower, even at age seven. If we are not playing the game he wants to play, the screaming and stomping starts. If he is losing, the screaming and stomping starts. If we are not actively paying attention to him, he will scream and make a spectacle of himself. Where the mother loves seeing that Pathfinder has an issue taking direction from adults, she is blind to the fact that her youngest is exponentially worse. When we go to the store, he runs off. When we go out to do something, he is instantly bored. When I tell him not to touch things in the store, he thinks it is funny to grab it an run away from me. If he is in any way unhappy, he will drop onto the floor and start screaming. Even in public (bowling alley, the zoo). Rules just do not apply to him, and he is positively dumbfounded when you try to correct this behavior through punishment (like taking away a toy, or banning video games for the day). We played the quiet game one day where all winner would get a dollar when we got back (because I had a headache and it was an hour drive and they just kept arguing). He talked the entire ride home, and the others didn't. They got a dollar each, he didn't. He pitched the biggest fit, pounding on the floor screaming, hiding under the bed, saying he wished he was dead because I was being so mean to him. He is always yelling about “fairness" when you tell him “no.” I don't think he actually knows what the word means. Sharknado is a nightmare who never listens and screams his head off on a daily basis, louder when I tell him to stop. And yet the mom has never threatened to chop his locks off. He is her perfect angel.

Lastly, I'll introduce you to Mellie, JT's daughter. She is 10. She is kind and generally respectful, which I assume comes from her mother's side. She is a daddy's girl, however, and so takes on her father's qualities when it comes to his treatment of Diva's kids. She's best friends with Uni, which is great, because Uni needed a girl friend to hang out with during the summer. She let’s Sharknado win in games and babies him. And, of course, she constantly belittles and picks fights with Pathfinder. This week was the first week I was babysitting her as well, so I don’t know much more than that.

So here's my main problem (yeah, all the above was essentially preface. That's the stuff I am USED to putting up with for barely minimum wage). This week, I watched the kids at Popeye's apartment Monday and Friday, with the rest of the days at Diva's. JT was at Diva's, but he is unable to travel, I guess, and two of the kids had dentist appointments two of the days. So, I went. At Diva's request, I came in later at 10 am on Tuesday and Wednesday, then 7:30 am in Thursday. On Tuesday, the kids were having a pillow fight in the apartment at, like, 1 pm, which apparently woke JT up, so he came lumbering out of the bedroom, snatched up the Xbox controller Pathfinder was using to find a YouTube video, and yelled at everyone – Mellie included – to get dressed and go play outside. I was then (without ever being asked) babysitting a fourth child outside with my three. We ended up going to the pool all three days, too, by the way. Three days with 4 kids in a pool. I stayed an hour late the first day, and an hour and a half late yesterday, too, because I came in late. I drove the kids to their appointments, and also made 4 different trips to and from Popeye's apartment to retrieve things for the children, and I drove the girls around to gather ingredients for their bake sale. Keep in kind, it was nearly 50 miles just with the kids in my car (not counting my commute or anything) that I was not getting reimbursed for. I also went and spent $60 on pool toys for the kids (including Mellie), because I love them and want them to have a great time. I spent personal money, knowing I wouldn't get reimbursed. But here's the kicker. When I contacted Diva to ask about adjusted payment to include the fourth child, she just said (I swear I could literally hear venom dripping from her teeth) “of course I won't short you for those days, even though you came in late. You will get the full $350 we agreed on.” Basically, even though she is already paying me peanuts, she assumes the fourth child is covered by the extra hours in the day I didn't come in. As if I shouldn't be getting paid at least $70/day, regardless of what hours I work, because even that is barely acceptable for the job I do. I should also mention that she and the dad split the childcare costs. So, if she really is saying the rest of that $350 completely covers the cost of a fourth kid, that means Popeye is shelling out childcare costs for his ex-wife's boyfriend's daughter.

So that's my situation right now. I just want advice, you guys. Should I stay, leave, ask for more per week? I mean, the thing is, I know the dad will pay more if I ask, but he's already spread pretty thin with the income. Diva is the one who always asks me to cart the kids places and has me watching extra kids and do extra stuff like crafts with them, and she’s the one who makes so much money, but she's the one who is being stingy and not giving me what I deserve. It bugs me. I just need advice on future steps, guys. I love these kids, and I don't want to just leave and have them think it was something they did wrong, but I am at the end of my mental rope. What do I do here?

#advice #advice needed #babysitting #childcare #child abuse #divorced parents #halp

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poppedpins · 6 years

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i need to ramble about my headspace rn

i feel like i’m about to spiral??? like i could cry at any moment. no motivation to do anything. a whole set of revisions for 3 maps is due tomorrow, a paper proposal and another paper for 2 other classes due next week and they’re tedious and lengthy and i don’t wanna think i want to be working on AUTOPILOT but i can’t bring myself to do anything. i’m so behind on my lecture notes, i haven’t read JACK SHIT for any classes but i feel sad???

there are no constants in my life rn and i think that’s why i feel so shitty and it finally caught up to me. i’m used to being alone but lately i’ve been feeling so lonely. every convo/small talk i’ve had in the past MONTH has been so superficial, unsatisfactory, dull etc etc. nobody is reciprocating the same kind of energy?? mans are making casual comments about d*pression and “r*tarded” things in their life like u can’t say these things?? they’re not fuckin quirky??? how am i supposed to respond and connect w someone who just.....”i have d*pression lol”??? people asking me to repeat myself, why? bc they had fuckin airpods in???????? is nobody trying to actively fuckin LISTEN?????? all of these superficial small talk people have the world’s shortest attention spans or they just don’t care bc they ask me a question and literally turn to strike up a convo w someone else like HELLO can i answer the damn question?????

everyone talks about meeting their Lifelong Friends in uni but i haven’t found my “clique”??? and i’m the type of person who needs that dependency on a small group like i need to FEEL like i belong. fuck clubs and extracurriculars bc i don’t have time but now i feel like everyone just boils down to the fact that i commute to school. i want to move out, live alone, have roommates, hate my roommates, go out to a bar on a saturday, hang out at friends’ places, live that damn uni life!!! not have my life revolve around commuting outside of rush hour or having to wake up like 3 hrs before a class starts!!!

the annual formal is next week and idk if i wanna go bc last year, i went bc i convinced a close friend to go, but she showed up with her bf and she’s a social butterfly (re: i need that fuckin dependency). so many acquaintances are going but they have their cliques!!! i can’t just join in!!! idc how dumb that sounds but I don’t want to be That Bitch, i don’t want that for myself.

i’m full on crying as i write this lol but i just need to write it all out and i guess i feel unappreciated rn also i’m questioning my identity a lot and idk if that has anything to do with this Loneliness or my actual identity, u feel me

#bitch it's a full essay #this should be in the notebook i bought but typing is faster #goodnight #dl

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roymusdamn · 3 years

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we are probably facing one of the worst physical and mental health crisis here in our collective. practically no one in the headships is okay and seemingly there would be one or two people daily being in the brink of ending everything. im surprised ive come this far , trying to be objective and receiving all of their heavy feelings to relieve themselves. cant seem to sleep anymore or even shower after 3 days. p sure i knew just how to shut this off before or command myself to sleep bc its the only logical solution to something i cant solve yet but here i am 3 days in with practically almost 5 hrs sleep daily. my mind cant shut up and probably also other comrades’ bc theyre still talking to me up until 3 am. i just feel like i have to reply and listen (except for that one that i could not muster up even everything ive learned and practiced from MLM to reply and be objective at this point). im fucken tired. yet i cant stop or disassociate bc i wouldnt want that and at the same time this government is fucking killing everyone bc of their class interest. sometimes i agree with the farmers when they said they wouldve brought a pillbox with them just to make my university listen. everyday state violence should be faced with revolutionary violence. despite all of these, everything violent that happened in the past months are within groups of people that I know and struggled with. why would you fight other kasamas? why would you push them to the brink of wanting to leave a house bc that entire place is a big truckload of triggers? why would u push someone who experienced one of the worst covid effects to still not heal at this point bc of everything that happened? why hasnt the pandemic ended on our part and continue to separate all of us from each other? why is it so hopeless for some important people in my life that they genuinely believe theyre just a nuisance in my/our lives when theyre one of the reasons i/we could still keep on going? literally why are we going through all of this? a lot of us are 20 year olds. people this young deserve this? this shitfuck of a feeling that they would feel truly happy if they never woke up again? it just doesnt make sense to me (or even if i did bc i could root it all back to class exploitation) and idk if theres anything that could be given to me/us which I would consider as having ‘justice’. i probably have to accept that this is already happening and i would have to live with it for the rest of my/our lives. whatever damage this whole ‘thing’ has done is just going to be there forever. thats why i cling so much to my collective bc its just too heartbreaking; its heartbreaking to see comrades i would die for experience all of these. they all deserve love if not happiness in this godforsaken mkmp society. idk if i could give it to everyone but i know others feel the same way (and thats why they should act like they love each other and not treat them like they arent their comrade). i know the communities and schools we’ve done mass work love us not only in the sense we’re able to help out in socio economic needs but bc they are also the ones we are with in struggle. it should be everyones primary task daily to show their love for comrades and the masses. everyday should be a reminder that we arent alone in the struggle. no comrade deserves to feel despair. my heart is always so overwhelmingly full of care for the well being of my comrades , i feel myself getting more and more sleepless in times they arent okay. i just hope we get through this, and i know we will (bc change has been in grained in me since i started here). i just hope others would be strong enough to see thru it til the end. i know we’ll pull each other towards it.

another sleepless night but i know one of these days ill be able to finally rest well

#me #text

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1218

Have you ever been to Australia? Nope. Not really on top of my travel lists when it comes down to it, but it would be lovely to visit nonetheless. I'd be most excited to try their local food.

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Kate, our HR officer.

Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. I am not.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Aya. But we’re not really friends anymore.

Ever wear out a CD? What was it? I don’t think so. I’ve broken CDs before but it was always because I had been a kid then and I constantly mishandled them.

What’s your favorite card game? I’m not into card games.

What’s your favorite fast food meal? I usually flock to burgers and fries. Fast food rice is blechhh so I never get any meals with them, which are usually paired with fried chicken.

Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? Torch. Prices are no joke either, so I don’t get to order from there a lot.

Lamb chops or pork chops? I have pork chops more frequently and I love them, but I’d go with lamb chops. More expensive so I get them less often, but I do like the taste of lamb more.

If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? I imagine this would be so inconvenient after just a few hours...but idk. Based on my mood now, maybe Still With You by Jungkook.

Ever heard of Shinedown? I have. I used to have a mutual who was obsessed with them. Never listened to their music, though.

What size is your bed? Just a twin-size.

What is the first meal you remember eating? I no longer remember that.

What was the first movie you ever saw? Stuart Little 2.

What percentile of your class were you in? I’m not sure about percentile, but I was just above average. Never topped the class but wasn’t behind academically, either. In our batch of around 165, I remember my ranking peaking at like 26. I don’t know what the equivalent percentile for that is.

Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? Yeah, I didn’t like being too adventurous anyway.

What forms of birth control have you used? Same-sex relationship.

Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? Sponge. OMG I hate touching wet cloths/fabric.

What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? Butter.

Ever punched a wall? Nope.

What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant. My finger.

Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? Yes, because he noticed I was in uniform, as were my orgmates then. And I’m guessing it was also because he could tell we were all young, so he let us go.

What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? < Hey, same!

What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? My education.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? I’ve spent the most on my merch collection so far; but as for an individual item, I’ve spent close to 5k on a photobook set. I haven’t really ventured out to start spending on more adulting stuff yet, lol.

What is your favorite cover song? Paramore’s cover of Passionfruit by Drake, or Hayley Williams’ cover of Teardrop by Massive Attack.

Did you ever drop out of school? Nope, I did everything in one go.

Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? I have not.

Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? I’ve only had basics done on me.

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? The extremely few times I had to go to the physical office, my co-workers put on some music, yeah. It had been a very chill atmosphere and they simply turned on YouTube on the TV and put on a playlist of BTS and Taylor Swift songs.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Mac.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes, I hate how the tags feel for the most part. The only time I don’t cut them off is if the brand is on the pricey side.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? Under normal circumstances, around 3-5 with my family.

What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? It’s easier for me to say what periods I find a little boring: medieval/dark ages and anything about wars. Every other period I’d happily soak up like a sponge.

What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? Mmmh, probably kids dying from freak accidents and seeing the parents get interviewed. Just last night I had to hear about a 4 year old who ran towards a car while playing outside. Hearing the dad cry and plead was gut-wrenching.

In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Idk, maybe those that live in the super deep sea and look nothing like what we would usually perceive as normal sea creatures.

What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? I guess it would have to depend on the issue you find yourself stuck in. But I think being able to control time would be convenient, since you can just easily undo mistakes.

Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. That would invalidate experiences for a lot of people. :/

Why are you best friends with your best friend? She’s always been supportive and stuck by my side no matter what I’ve been through. We also have great chemistry and have always shared the same sense of goofy humor.

Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? No.

Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? I’d just make sashimi everyday.

What do you think of when you look at the stars? I tend to reminisce when I do so. Think about what’s happened in the past, people who’ve left, what I’ve lost...and that there’s probably good reason why things are the way they are now.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. < Well there we go.

What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Travel the world.

What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Ariel. Pretty fucking clumsy, prioritizes the wrong things out of love.

What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Happiness.

Do you use any acne medication? Nah, I just splash my face with water every morning.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? [This survey seems to be a mix of a few surveys, so some of the questions - like this, I’ve already answered. I’ll be striking out the ones I’ve already delved on but if you’ll take this survey as well, feel free to remove the strike!]

Do you still have a landline phone in your home?

Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? LOL just home. I work from home, and I’m usually exhausted during the weekend to want to go out.

How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? A few times a week for work. Most of the time we communicate just through audio, but there are a few meetings or clients that prefer video.

Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? It’s a number combination, but I seldom get to use it. I usually rely on thumb ID.

What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Not a liquor store but I just got a few bottles of beer from 7-Eleven.

Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? We don’t. We’re not really a big cereal-eating family.

What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? 11. That’s a set of grandparents (2), my family (4), my mom’s older brother’s family (4), and my mom’s younger brother (1).

Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day?

Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I have two. 13 years with Kimi, a year with Cooper.

What's your favourite kind of cheese? Feta and mozzarella.

Have you danced in the rain? Once or twice, when I was a lot younger.

Who is your favorite person to text? I don’t text anymore, but I frequently communicate with Angela on Messenger.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? My favorite pair is from Zara, but I don’t have a go-to brand for jeans per se.

Do you enjoy Mario games? Not all of them, but sure.

What’s your favorite online game? I don’t play games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Possibly. Not remarkable enough for me to remember though.

Who was last to cook for you? Dad.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave? I would love to. I had the chance to explore one during our trip to Sagada, but the tour guide decided against it since I had the wrong footwear and it wasn’t going to be safe if I tried. :( I did get to go to the underground cave in Palawan though, and that was a really fun experience.

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? I’d give her a small, polite/curt smile and maybe wave, then go on with whatever it was I’ve been doing. Of course, I doubt it would actually go that way because I believe she’d run for the hills if she ever spotted me.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? No. I would refuse to, especially if they were the one driving.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yeah, for too long.

Have you ever held a snake? I have! A few times.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Almost never. Angela and Hans coming over for Sowoozoo two weeks ago was just an exception.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No, I wouldn’t say that.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected?

Do you have any exercises you do everyday?

Are you more of a dog or cat person?

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone?

Would you ever have a bird as a pet?

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral?

Do you know someone who’s been cremated?

What is your favorite animated movie?

Did your grandparents teach you anything? Just some religion stuff and how to be a nice Catholic and all. Doesn’t apply to me, obvs, but I still outwardly listen out of respect.

Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? Yes.

Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? I am most definitely not.

Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Sure, a few times. Yes, it was fun and hilarious.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? Just the basic ones like truth or dare and never have I ever.

Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger?

Have you ever been to Mexico? No, but would be nice to travel there.

Have your parents ever worked in medicine? No, not their field.

Is there anything unusual about your house? We don’t have a gate, which has always bugged me.

How many serious relationships have you been in? One.

Do you listen to Rise Against? Much more when I was in high school. I haven’t revisited their music in years.

When was the last time you congratulated someone? Reggy since she posted her graduation portrait the other day.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Nah.

How old were you when you got your ears pierced? Like a month old, I believe.

Do you snore when you sleep? Rarely. A snore or two would usually come out only if I’m extremely exhausted.

What was the last type of burger you ate? A Baconator from Wendy’s.

#survey #surveys

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shinwnn · 7 years

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college! jinwoo au

sokay jinwoo is s u p e r well known on campus because he's essentially the guy that’s always fun to be around and exudes confidence

he’s studying linguistics bc he’s fascinated with languages but also he just loves to talk and everyones always making jokes about how he’s so good with languages because he loves the sound of his own voice so much that he never shuts up

he also works at the campus radio station bc he just loves music so much!! AND he’s worked his way up to being a host so getting to play music & talk is basically the dream for him

everyone always tunes in during the hours that jinwoos hosting bc his taste in music is honestly amazing and he has the best radio voice and it makes everything he says sound interesting

you also listen to his show bc he honestly has never played a song you didn’t either already love or instantly fall in love with

but also you’re really beginning to hate this boy because the only reason you actually know him is because he lives right above you in the dorms

and he hosts the L O U D E S T parties that always happen to go till 4 am

usually you and your roommate fight over who has to go up and ask them to quiet down but tonight your roommate is out with some friends and its already 2 am you’re just laying in bed listening to the nonstop thudding sounds coming from above you & ur almost about to die because you have a 7:30 class tmrw

finally you force yourself out of bed and and into the hallway toward jinwoo’s room and you're so tired you're basically already half asleep

when you knock on the door and jinwoo comes out to see sleepy you in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings trying to form a coherent sentence ( it came out more like “the sound.. .too much.. please. stop.. the sound… theres a lot of it”) he can’t help but think you’re about the cutest thing he’s ever seen

and maybe if your eyes weren’t half closed and you weren’t entirely annoyed with the boy, you would’ve also thought he looked cute in his skinny jeans, t-shirt that was just a little bit too big, and perfectly messed up hair

but right now you're pretty much only focused on keeping yourself from completely collapsing in his door way

he feels really bad because you look like you're about to pass out but then his party has expanded to basically the whole floor and he’s lost the ability to control the noise level

he looks around for a few seconds and without saying anything goes to try to shuffle people into rooms and closing the doors in attempt to quiet things down a little

in the meanwhile you're still standing there in the door way wondering if you should go back now but for some reason your feet aren't moving and wow the floor looks really comfortable right now

but then before you can go to ur final resting place on the floor, jinwoo is back in front of you and he notices that you're like not stable so he puts his hands on your shoulders to try and hold you up and he's like “sorry about everyone. i don’t know if i can do much more about the noise, but i hope that helped a little bit???... also are you okay???”

and no ur obviously not okay bc all you've wanted for the past 3 hrs is to go to bed but everything like 20x quieter now and its so peaceful so you just offer a sleepy smile and nod and turn around to head back toward ur room and ur bed

but then suddenly someones linked their arm with yours and its jin jin trying to be cute and gentlemanly and walk u back to ur room but mostly he's like 90% sure ur gonna collapse in the hall on the way back

ur initial reaction is !! heLLO STRANGER DANGER?? you've only talked to this boy like twice ??? and u sort of tug ur arm away

but jin jin reacts really quickly and like gently pulls u back and he's like “you look like you could use the help. c’mon-“

but even half asleep u does not want the pity of a random cute boy who throws loud parties and disturbs ur sleep so u slightly perk up and are like “ what’s that supposed to mean? are U trying to say I look BAD?”

and jin jin is kind of flustered and taken aback but immediately recovers bc pls this is park jinwoo

“actually i think you look pretty cute and id rather not wake up tomorrow morning to find that you tripped down the stairs to your death while going back to your room because you were too tired.”

so ur like annoyed but ur also like ,,,, fine, maybe i do need someone to make sure i don't die before i get back to my room and also you're kinda leaning into him while u guys are walking and its really nice not having to carry ur own weight

when u guys get to ur door jin jin leans against the frame as ur unlocking it and before u go in he decides to throw away any shred of pride he has and goes for the literally cheesiest line bc he’s never seen anyone look as cute as you do right now

“so, what about a good night kiss?”

u look up to see the brightest smile u have ever?? seen?? like how is he glowing right now but also ur like “did u really just say that”

and u see him get kinda embarrased and ur like woW IS PARK JINWOO THE GOLDEN BOY OF THE SCHOOL ACTUALLY BLUSHING RIGHT NOW??

he’s not really use to rejection bc he hasn't really met a girl he would put himself out there for (but lets be real even if he had, no one would've rejected him what are u doing??)

so he just looks down at the floor and puts his hand on his neck like “ha h a, , yeah, probably shouldn’t have”

but he looks really cute all flustered and you dunno why, tho its probabbly bc ur so tired that u don't actually know if any of this is really happening, but u give him a peck on the cheek and a quick good night before u go inside to ur sweet, sweet bed

n jin jin is just standing outside of ur room, stunned bc WOW ur an angel did that really just happen to him

by the time he gets back to his floor, the partying has pretty much died down to nothing since he really killed the mood when he started pushing people into their rooms for your sake

so he just goes to his room and his roommate mj is laying in bed on his phone (super calm for a change) and jin jin all but jumps on him like “you wouLD NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED”

and ofc mj immediately is as awake as ever dying to know what

after telling mj every detail he basically goes to bed thinking about u being cute whereas youve been knocked out for the past 20 minutes without so much as a thought about it

the next day you’re up by 7 bc u want to get some food and coffee before class so you hit up a cafe on the way to the lecture hall and order your food and sit down at one of the tables to wait

you're running on about 4 hrs of sleep right now so you're not exactly at your prime and you're leaning on your arm while scrolling through your instagram when suddenly your hair is being ruffled and you hear “morning sleepyhead!”

you look up to see jin jin smiling his goofy smile and you’re like “okay firstly, never touch my hair ever again. secondly, why on earth are u up so early, u probably went to bed like … an hour ago”

so he’s like telling u about how he’s helping out around the studio during the morning radio show today and you guys start talking about his radio show and he finds out you listen and it makes him feel all warm and happy for some reason

and you guys start talking about music and you guys have pretty much the same taste and he slips in that he’s been working on some music with his roommate and a few friends and he just gets so excited talking about it

when he can tell that you’re genuinely interested and you ask him questions about their group (which he says is called astro) you can literally see his eyes lighting up and you’re losing track of time bc this is honestly one of the nicest conversations you've had in a long time with one of the nicest boys like, ever

but then u get a notification and see the time on your phone and it’s freaking 745!!! ur already 15 min late to class and you're still like 10 min away from the hall so you grab your things and are like

“shoot im sorry i totally forgot about the time im late to my lecture”

and while you're cleaning up you just keep rambling about how you're screwed bc the class isn't recorded or anything and you don't know anyone you can get notes from and you had like 4 hours of sleep yesterday (which u remind him is his fault) and oh my goodness why is everything bad happening to you

and jin jins just sitting and sipping his coffee looking at you with most amused look on his face and you're still all flustered from being late and u go to throw ur trash away and

when ur back jin jin has ur book bag over his shoulder and his hands are in his pocket as if this is like a normal thing that u do everyday and ur just like ?? are u robbing me? give me my bag and hes like

“no, cmon i’m walking you to class”

and u don't have time to fight it and really you don't mind at all so you just head out the door toward your hall when u remember that he has to go to work and then u forget that you're totally late for class bc now you're worried for him being late for work and u try to grab ur bag from him and are like “o my goSH JINWOO ur gonna be LATE for WORK”

but he completely ignores u and just keeps on walking and ur like ARE U LISTENING and he finally turns around and is just like

“i can afford to be a little late, they wont miss me. plus i’d much rather be with you”

and ofc be freaking winks at u and ur like oh my goodness that was cute but u just roll ur eyes and are like “okay fine, but don’t get used to walking me to places”

and u suddenly remember last nights events very clearly ending with u kissing him on the cheek and u get embarrassed

and it only gets worse when he's like “why? i thought i was pretty good at it, especially after the kiss you gave me for it last night. i was getting ready to transfer majors to physical education so i could work on my stamina and walk you to even further places. it was supposed to be our tradition, walking places. man it was gonna be good”

and ur annoyed bc you've never met someone so irritating yet likable. how does that even work? i dk, but park jinwoo does

when u guys get to ur lecture hall ur suddenly not in a rush at all to go inside bc as much as u hate to admit it to urself, you’d much rather hang out with jin jin

so now ur just standing face to face and he’s looking at you smiling his angelic smile and now its ur turn to contemplate what to do before you leave

and u just wrinkle ur nose before finally deciding to give him a quick peck on the cheek again and then ur just like “maybe that can be part of the tradition”

before he can say anything you've already grabbed ur bag and run into the hall and left him smiling like an idiot

when he gets to work he's still so happy and he’s in a good mood everyday but today it’s just like, intensified all his coworkers can tell he's happier than usual and they’re just like “had a good morning jin jin?” and he's like “GREAT MORNING”

meanwhile ur sitting in class like omg did i actually just do that? also why?

and then like 20 minutes later ur like okay i like park jinwoo

after you get out of class you head back to your dorm to work on some essays for a couple of hours and you see that it’s around the time that jin jin is hosting so you tune in

and after the song that’s playing ends you hear jin jin’s voice and he’s talking about his theory on how toy story and finding nemo are connected and all u can do is roll ur eyes and laugh

but then u hear him go “you should be out of class by now, so i hope you're listening. this next songs for you sleepyhead”

u can hardly believe u just heard him say that and find u urself blushing & even more so when u realize the song that’s playing is pretty u by seventeen

right as you hear the last lines of the song “does she love me, does she love me not…” you get a text from jin jin

“pretty cool huh? i think that deserves a thank you”

to which you reply “you want me to thank you for passive aggressively dedicating songs to me?”

he eventually gets you to agree to let him take u out for dinner and you're so amazed with how comfortable you feel around him and how easily he makes u laugh

it’s just really perfect since u guys started officially dating

a lot of the songs being played during jin jins hours have suspiciously been love songs so much so that he started getting complaints and u had to force him to start playing other things

and as far as those parties that last till 3 am, lately jin jins been finding it a lot more appealing to just sit on the couch with you sharing a blanket and exchanging sleepy kisses as you listen to music

#jin jin #park jinwoo #jinwoo #astro scenarios #astro au #college

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premk-blog · 4 years

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The power of culture: How to hire and attract amazing people

Before Amazon bought Zappos.com for $1.2 billion, the online shoe retailer was already known for two things: exceptional customer service and a vibrant company culture.

As CEO Tony Hsieh once said, “Zappos is a customer service company that just happens to sell shoes.”

Zappos empowers its call center staff to make emotional connections and to wow their customers in every interaction. That explains the service-driven reputation. But how do you create a strong, healthy culture — especially as your company grows?

Well, Zappos defined 10 core values that guide the whole organization. It’s their hiring process, though, that really stands out.

Zappos has two different interview types. The first explores the candidate’s abilities, experience, and team fit. The usual stuff.

Next, the HR department does another round, purely to evaluate culture fit. As Hsieh told Forbes back in 2010, you have to pass both interview types to get the job:

“We’ve rejected many talented people who we know would have made an immediate impact on our top or bottom line. Because culture is our number one priority, we’re willing to give up short-term profits or revenue growth to make sure we have the best culture. In fact, after orientation we offer people $2,000 not to work at Zappos. The ones who stay are right for our culture.”

Also, when an applicant flies in for an interview, the company sends a shuttle to the airport. Zappos leaders will later ask the driver if the person was nice, or if they were rude or standoffish.

No matter how talented the candidate, rude people never make the cut. Talk about living your culture — and your values.

Ambitious companies attract ambitious people

“Talent is the multiplier. The more energy and attention you invest in it, the greater the yield.”

- Marcus Buckingham, author and business consultant

It starts at the roots. Whether you’re selling airline tickets, eyeglasses, software, or burritos, you need to have a great product.

After all, talented people want to work in organizations that make an impact. They want to change the world — even just a little. And there are many ways to become world class.

There’s a terrific restaurant near our office that changes its menu every month. If you’re an ambitious, creative chef who’s hungry to learn, this is where you want to land.

Even if you provide a “boring” product (like, ahem ahem, web forms), your approach could make it an amazing place to work.

“If you are lucky enough to be someone’s employer, then you have a moral obligation to make sure people do look forward to coming to work in the morning.”

- John Mackey, CEO, Whole Foods

Culture can be a major asset. It helps you to attract top-notch people and encourages them to stay for the long run.

1. Ensure a comfortable work environment

Make sure your office is a place you and your team want to spend time in, even if it’s small. Equip staff with powerful technology, up-to-date equipment, and all the tools they need to work safely and efficiently. Free drinks and snacks don’t hurt (but you don’t need the ping-pong table). All these details are also cheap to provide, relative to employee salaries. Don’t cut corners on your most valuable asset.

2. Always choose positive, collaborative people

I know it might sound simple, but having smart, friendly, talented, positive people lays the foundation for your culture. Good people attract more good people, and you’re also promoting an inspiring work environment. Nothing will send people running for the door faster than a culture of infighting, gossip, and petty competition.

Leverage good word-of-mouth

You’re scrolling through Instagram. In one post, your friend tags a hotel they love. The next post is a sponsored ad for a competing hotel brand.

Which are you more likely to remember and try for yourself?

Real endorsements from our network are powerful. If you love your job, company, or work environment, you’re likely to tell friends and family.

We post our job openings on LinkedIn and online job boards. We’ve also used head-hunters for leadership positions. But nothing works better than word-of-mouth.

When valued employees refer their friends and former colleagues, we pay close attention. These are often our best candidates.

Interview efficiently and decide quickly:

According to a recruiting survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers, employers hiring new college graduates take, on average, two weeks to make a job offer after an interview.

Beyond new graduates, author and HR expert Liz Ryan says companies should never take more than 3–4 business days to contact or share feedback with candidates after an interview.

Often, we call the candidate as they’re walking to their car — right after the interview.

If you don’t move fast, there’s a good chance someone else will snap up a great employee. Forget about waiting periods or outdated rules and do it your way.

How is it possible to move so quickly?

Well, we believe in having all the decision makers in the room. Everyone has the chance to observe and ask questions.

After the interview, we have a five-minute discussion. If it’s a long debate, the person is probably not right. But a quick, easy consensus usually means that we’ve found a great fit.

Hire for skills and knowledge:

Knowledge and skills are not the same.

Whatever position you’re hiring for, ask the candidate to perform a hands-on task. Over the years, we’ve encountered both “developers” who can’t actually code and dark horses who performed far beyond our expectations.

It’s equally important to talk with the applicant about their chosen field. Can you have an intelligent discussion? Do their ideas and arguments make sense?

Sometimes, people speak in buzzwords but they don’t have real knowledge. They’ve just memorized headlines and jargon.

Ultimately, it’s a matter of balance. Candidates need to have some real skills (and that level will vary by position), but the right person can also acquire what they’re missing.

The same goes for knowledge. Young employees will gain deeper expertise over time, but if they’re truly interested in the topic, they will already have opinions about marketing or data science or design.

One more note: Watch for people with side projects. If a developer has their own app, for example, that’s a great sign. It means they’re ambitious and engaged.

In different fields, this could also be a blog, a podcast, a passion for reading, participation in a professional group, or taking extra classes and workshops.

“Leadership is absolutely about inspiring action, but it is also about guarding against mis-action.”

- Simon Sinek, author, speaker and marketing consultant

Company culture is like the infinity symbol, or the old chicken-or-the-egg dilemma.

Which comes first: great people who establish a healthy culture, or a healthy culture that attracts great people?

Answer: it doesn’t matter.

People talk about culture as a static entity, but it’s constantly changing. Culture also has its own equilibrium. Sometimes it evolves for the better, and sometimes it needs to be nudged in a better direction.

Internal culture is a topic that can easily fill entire books, but here are my top lessons.

Culture changes as you grow

Our first 10 employees were men. That wasn’t my intention. It just happened, but then I learned about this mistake and realized we needed to attract more women. As the balance (happily) shifted, our company became more professional, just to name one improvement. Change made us stronger. These are the kind of culture shifts that organizations should always embrace.

People influence the culture

Let your staff contribute. Our small, cross-functional teams naturally develop their own cultures — and that’s a good thing. They enrich our entire company and make more interesting and diverse place to work.

Don’t enable incongruent behavior

Just as Zappos measured candidates’ humility and openness by talking to their shuttle drivers, it’s important to weed out both people and actions that don’t match your values.

For example, we care deeply about our users and we take responsibility when they make mistakes.

One day, we were watching a usability test, and an employee joked that the user was stupid. I realized that I had to immediately change the narrative, without publicly chastising the employee.

I told the team that we should assume people are busy and overwhelmed. That’s why our goal is to make a simple, incredibly easy-to-use product.

If we had all laughed, other team members would have assumed that it’s okay to mock our users — and that doesn’t align with our values or our culture.

“A company’s culture is the foundation for future innovation. An entrepreneur’s job is to build the foundation.”

- Brian Chesky, co-founder and CEO of Airbnb

While I’ve never offered someone thousands of dollars NOT to take a job, we do believe in humility and we reward learning. I’ll also share a little secret.

Every intern — whether they’re studying programming, marketing, UI, design, or business — spends their first week answering customer support questions.

Throughout this process, they are being rated; not just on their skills, but also on how they listen and treat our customers.

Sometimes, they think support work is beneath them. That attitude overshadows their skills and their knowledge.

And those interns will never have a seat in our company.

#recruitment #jobs hiring

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kathydsalters31 · 4 years

Text

What Are the Chances My IVDD Dachshund Will Need a Second Surgery Later In Life?

I got this question from a blog site reader the other day: “How many instances have you come across of repeat Intervertebral Disk Disease (IVDD) and what amount resulted in a 2nd surgical procedure?”

The woman stated she located little details online regarding Dachshunds that experience a spine injury associated

to IVDD a 2nd time. Considering that I have a suitable point of view on this, I assumed I would certainly write a solution considering that I’m sure she is not the just one with this question. To be clear, I am not a vet. I do receive dozens of emails a year from readers sharing stories regarding their Dachshund with IVDD.

Among my Dachshunds has IVDD as well as I have thoroughly looked into the condition both online and also by consulting with several specialists. Additionally, started a Dachshund club virtually 10 years ago and, through the years, I’ve had direct exposure to IVDD situations with over

100 member dogs. This reader’s inquiry is actually twofold. But initially, before resolving her concerns, allow’s be clear on something Can IVDD Reoccur? I know this is semiotics yet it’s an important matter to me because I desire individuals to really recognize IVDD and also what they can and ca

n’t do about it. IVDD is a disease. Your pet either has it or doesn’t. If you want to understand more regarding Dachshund back injuries, review this. The response to” Can IVDD Reoccur?” is it never ever

vanishes. To me, this is a very vital difference to make since once a dog suffers and IVDD related injury, and is detected, you may want to make some lifestyle modifications to minimize the possibilities of an additional injury.

There will always be a danger that a Dachshund with IVDD might hurt their back once more however that does not imply they need to live a sheltered, unfulfilling life.

Keep in mind: My personal stance is take affordable precautions but allow your

IVDD Dachshund to live a complete and fulfilling life even if that implies the minor presence of threat.

Additionally, I desire individuals to comprehend that regardless of exactly how cautious they are with their Dachshund, a canine with IVDD can have a second spine injury. It’s partially out of their control (this truth can aid with the significant feelings of regret).

Currently, I have adequate experience to understand that when individuals ask “Can IVDD Reoccur?” what they’re truly asking is “Can a pet experience more than one injury DUE to IVDD?”

Exactly How Often Do Dachshunds With IVDD Experience More Than One Injury?

If I was going to approximate, based upon my personal experience and also expertise, I would say that perhaps 1/3– 1/2 of Dachshunds have more than one occurrence of IVDD-related injury.

I typically see these 2 scenarios:

Number 1: A Dachshund never heals properly from the initial disk injury (commonly because of not enough dog crate rest to allow scar tissue to develop) which exact same disk remains to cause and weaken pain with time.

Number 2: A Dachshund’s issue disk heals yet a different disk ruptures. In some cases this 2nd compromised spinal disk needs traditional therapy (medications and crate rest) or surgical treatment.

A veterinarian when informed me that even if a Dachshund’s bulging or burst disk heals totally, IVDD makes the rest of the disks in the spinal column fragile and also there is a 20% possibility a different disk can have issues.

Upon further study right into this concern, it shows up that my estimate may be not also away from the (minimal offered) scientific research searchings for on this concern.

I discovered this study that claimed,

“Clinical signs connected with reoccurrence of IVDD developed in 44 (19.2%) dogs [out of 229 pets researched– all breeds] Ninety-six percent of recurrences established within 3 years after surgical procedure. Reappearance developed in 25% of Dachshunds …”

This research study just entailed dogs that required surgery to decompress the disk as well as remedy the disk tear adhering to the very first episode.

A Dachshund that has actually IVDD back surgery might experience an additional relevant spinal injury within 3 years.

It’s still possible that the reoccurrence of ANY disk injury– both in canines that had surgical procedure the initial time and those that didn’t– is closer to 50% as I observed.

The Amount Of Dachshunds with IVDD Require a Second Surgery?

Of the cases I listen to where a Dachshund with IVDD has ongoing back concerns, I feel like roughly 1/4 or less require a second surgery or have a truly poor episode again.I’m not trying to terrify you however, in a really few instances, some Dachshunds never get better in the first place.

Either the surgical procedure does not work.

“Studies have shown that with surgery for Grade 1-4 instances, greater than 90% of canines recover effectively. With Grade 5 IVDD, success drops to just 50-60% if the surgical procedure occurs within 24 hrs of signs and symptoms. Furthermore, if surgical procedure is executed after that preliminary 24-hour home window, the success rate goes down significantly.”– Dr. Julie Buzby, DVM Keep in mind: In my experience, if the initial surgery is not successful, a second surgical treatment will not be done on those exact same disks. Because situation, rehabilitation, rest, and adjustments like making use of a Dachshund wheelchair are the

primary alternatives of when living with a Dachshund that has wheelchair issues. One more situations is when degradation of the spine is so advanced that tears take place again one right after an additional( ie. surgery achieved success yet another disk burst soon after). This has led to– as well as I tension in very rare events– for a Dachshund to normally pass away or call for euthanasia to stop the suffering. Allows focus on how lots of require a second surgery and recover from that one too. Out of the numerous Dachshunds with IVDD I know of, probably around a dozen have needed a second surgical procedure. I utilized to walk one Dachshund that needed 2 surgeries just 6 months apart.

In her instance, the tear impacted 2 different disks.I have close friends with a French Bulldog(

Frenchie)that had IVDD and also needed back surgical procedure a minimum of 2 times. It may have also been 3.

The even more back disks affected by IVDD the first time, the higher opportunity a Dachshund will endure an additional disk injury later. The same study I cited above found that:”[ The] variety of opacified disks [nontransparent on X-rays which can suggest calcification or

injury] was a substantial threat variable for recurrence. Danger raised with variety of opacified disks in a practically direct way; each

opacified disk increased risk by 1.4 times. Pet dogs with 5 or 6 opacified disks at the time of very first surgical treatment had a reappearance price of 50%.”My price quote of 25%of Dachshunds needing a second surgery is based upon reports from owners whose pet dogs had as couple of as one disk tear to many. This study indicates the threat of a second needed surgery is greater if your pet has 5-6 disks affected the very first time. At the time of surgical procedure, your vet will certainly share

with you how many of our Dahcshund’s disks were affected so listen very closely. The majority of influenced disks, the higher the risk that a second surgical treatment will certainly be required later in life so this can aid you anticipate the probability for your certain pet. I wish this has actually aided as well as provided

your some comfort, or at the very least armed you with realistic expectations.

< img src="https://youdidwhatwithyourweiner.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Second-IVDD-Surgery-Dachshund-PIN.jpg

“alt =”Sometimes a Dachshund with IVDD requires more than one spinal surgical procedure in their lifetime.”class=”wp-image-20120”>

source http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/what-are-the-chances-my-ivdd-dachshund-will-need-a-second-surgery-later-in-life/ from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.blogspot.com/2020/09/what-are-chances-my-ivdd-dachshund-will.html

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