#my advice will always have a medical spin

[mod2amaryllis]

heyyy ik you're not a pet owner advice blog but since you have a few animals with special needs at home I was wondering if u could help me. Our adult cat (partner's cat but I moved in recently so adopted her by marriage) is very fearful, to the point of being scared by stuff like curtains or her own tail sometimes. Of course she very rarely accepts pets and does not like to be held even tho she doesn't show agressivity (just meows offendedly like a teenager). She accepts some forms of play like small bouncing balls and matatabi toys but is scared by most things. I'm ok with having a cat that isn't affectionate (poor girl was abandoned by several previous owners bc of this :(( ) but I wonder if there is a way to help her w this... I get a little sad that we seem to scare her by just walking around the flat or looking at her. She's been this way for 3-4y since adopted. I would ask the vet but she's not due for a check up before a while.

yup not a pet advice blog haha BUT. you say she's not due for a check up, what has the vet done at previous check ups for diagnostics? have you done xrays? bloodwork? did the vet look at her teeth or ever recommend dental work? with a reclusive pet, the first thing you should rule out is pain.

i see so many cats transform after dentals, once we've taken out bad teeth that weren't easily diagnosed on physical exam. my vet also loves to tell the story of one cat who always hated belly touching, to the point of biting, and eventually they took xrays for something related and saw she had a huge bladder stone. after removing it, this cat LOVES BELLY RUBS, begs for them constantly, never attacks.

it could be personality, but 3-4 years is a long time for a cat to remain fearful. if you rule out pain, the vet might also consider prozac, which comes in easy to administer ointment if she's too scared for oral meds.

for now try to maintain as peaceful as environment as possible. Toby is a fraidy cat and we've learned to step softly (literally), speak softly especially if we see him (hiii tobbyy hiiiii), and provide as much high and ground cover as you can fit in the flat (i love jackson galaxy's advice of determining if your cat is a low bush dweller or a high tree dweller). it sounds like you're already respecting her personal space so keep it up 👍

[ferritins]

IN A STITCH, IN A PINCH | J. TODD

SUMMARY: you’ve developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws, but you’re not quite sure about what the irascible Red Hood thinks of you.

WARNINGS: graphic description of burn injury, oblique reference to canonical parental drug dependency, reader is a meta.

NOTES: bringing back an old work! Re: the burns treatment depicted here - my area of study was clinical microbiology, not emergency medicine; everything I know about burns is relegated to opportunistic Staphylococcus aureus infection and how Gram negative skin flora influence wound healing. Take none of what you see in this fic as medical advice; if you do have a severe burn, call 999 and get your arse to an A&E ASAP.

After an extraterrestrial incident in your city that ended with something to the tune of 5 and a half million dollars worth of property damage and you knitting Arsenal's torn-open back together in a moment of adrenaline-fuelled insanity, you've developed something of a friendship with the Outlaws.

What that really means is that you periodically come off your shift at the hospital to find 2 mercenaries and an alien princess divesting your fridge of it's contents, and get wheedled into using your meta abilities to heal wounds that would otherwise take them out of play for a good few months.

You're under no illusions. You're aware that a healer is a useful contact to have, that should the situation necessitate it they'll take the few scant inches you can give and run a mile with them.

However, you're also aware that being a meta is a risk and that it pays to be liked and valued by dangerous people.

It's a friendship of convenience, but a friendship nonetheless.

Kori picks you up bodily and spins you in a tight circle until you're giggly and dizzy when confess her favourite shirts of yours are always freshly washed, just in case.

Roy gives you a vulgar wink when you order his shirt off to take a look at where his back scarred over, but faithfully applies the Vitamin E cream you give him for the scarring, trusting you to ease his discomfort, and sneaks bottles of your favourite elderflower cordial and the tins of Zambuk you can never find in the US for you to find when he leaves.

The only one you can't quite puzzle out your relationship with is Jason. He's taciturn, stands watch faithfully as Roy and Kori pull you into friendly hugs and dizzy spins, pepper playful kisses on your cheek and rub their knuckles into your hair. He rolls his eyes at his teammates' antics, huffs through his nose at your fussing.

Sometimes though, he'll call you sweetheart in a low rasp as he bumps you away from the sink to take over doing the dishes.

Sometimes, you think you catch him watching you with something unnameable and warm in his eyes.

You're not expecting your front door to fly open and damn near off the hinges late on Saturday evening — just as you're fresh out of the shower and only just into your pyjama shirt & shorts, might you add — but your alarm and annoyance die on your tongue when you see Roy and Kori's grim faces and the way that Jason sways despite both of their considerable strength holding him up.

You smell the odd, sour-smoke char of burned flesh as they pass you to ease Jason down oh so gently onto your sofa, and your gut goes cold with fear. The burn, once you get his shirt cut open, is not as extensive as you'd feared, but it's still something from a horror scene.

It's a third degree burn, skin mulberry-red, weeping and blistered in a long arc that curls up from his right hip to just under his right pectoral.

"Bloody hell." You breathe, horrified.

You run to your room, digging out your first aid kit, and drop to your knees by the couch as you tear it open.

Roy snorts, bitter as cyanide. "Yeah, that's a fairly accurate summary of the situation, sweets. The only reason he's still alive is because he dodged and got a glancing blow from the energy beam instead of a direct hit."

You look up from Jason's side.

"I'll need you and Kori to get some things." You say, hands shaking at the prospect of the task in front of you. "I can reduce the severity of the burn to a first degree, maybe, but it–"

"What do you need?" Kori snaps, terse. You reel off a list - topical antiseptic, light bandages, a banana bag & an IV kit, amoxicillin - and then look to Roy.

"I need you to get him to take some co-codamol. It'll kick in in about 10 minutes given his enhanced metabolism, but I can't do anything until he's got painkillers in him."

Roy's brows tighten further.

"Jason doesn't do opiates."

"Roy, if this was anybody else he'd be hooked up to IV morphine! If I start working on him without him having painkillers, he'll go into shock which could kill him." You exclaim.

You make low, soothing sounds when Jason tenses at the shouting, only to groan at the fresh wave of agony in his side.

The sound of Jason's pain seems to be decisive enough for Roy, who moves round the couch and grabs the box of effervescent tablets, dissolving two in water and coaxing Jason into drinking it down.

When the glass is empty, Roy is back to his feet, quick as lightning. He strides to the door, shepherding Kori out of your apartment.

"We'll be back with everything you need in half an hour, tops. Please, help him."

Jason comes out of the shrieking adrenaline of agony to the sound of your voice, and a slight cotton fuzz in his head.

Narcotics, then, but a fairly low dose for him to still retain this degree of alertness. Feeling the encroaching spectre of that terrible pain just barely held at bay, finds he's grateful for the medication.

He goes to prop himself up on his elbows, only to strike a line of phosphorus-white flare of pain down his side that has him hissing breath through gritted teeth.

Above him, you make a startled sound, press a hand to his sternum to keep him down. His eyes catch yours, and he sees the relieved sag of your spine and shoulders at the alertness in his eyes.

"Thank fuck you didn't go into shock." You sigh. "Stay still, I've just about got this down to a second degree burn. I've just got your hip."

You snap off your nitrile gloves and lean forward, cupping his face in your hands. "Don't make a habit of this. You'll kill us off with stress if you keep on nearly-dying."

As if on cue, the front door opens and Roy and Kori come into the living room, pharmacy bags clutched tightly in their grips and fragile hope in their eyes.

When they see Jason's alert eyes, the slow knit of skin and sub-dermal tissue and hear his sheepish grumbling in, response to you, their smiles are like sunlight.

Healing the burn is slow going, taking a full five evenings after your shifts.

Roy and Kori are intent on Jason staying the full course of treatment — settled by a, literally, on account of Kori, flaming row when he asks for his helmet and body armour —and though your entreaties are quieter, they're no less insistent.

It serves him right, probably, but it's driving him to distraction.

Specifically, the feeling of your hands over his skin is driving him to distraction.

He's not sure whether it's mercy or the sweetest of torture when you approach him, eyes darting down his body in a way that's half-assessing, half appraising before the heat-shock of your touch makes contact, pieces his skin back together.

(The thing is, Jason's attuned to everything about you, has been ever since you pulled Roy's flayed skin back shut whilst the city was still smoking behind you, totally unafraid in scrub trousers and a hoodie.

He's got it bad, and it's not exactly subtle.

Roy and Kori haven't missed that, or the way he reacts to you, judging by the raised eyebrows and teasing smirks as they lean up against the wall and watch you work.

He hopes the glare he levels at them over the top of your head communicates exactly what he'll do to them if they open their mouths.

It all comes to a head on Monday evening, when you come home from your OR shift, duck into the shower and then come into the living room in a too-large grey t-shirt and deliciously short sleep pants.

Jason's heart stops for a second. He lets his eyes flit despairingly over to Roy and Kori as you prep your kit, watches their unrepentant grins with a burning resentment towards them.

Having you this close to him, worry-soft and lit like a Rembrant from the lamp on the side table without being able to touch you is the closest thing to hell there is. You're close enough that he can smell the overlapping, inoffensive fragrances of your facial skincare products, see the faint pearlescent sheen of the residue of some serum on the apples of your cheeks, the tip of your nose, the soft line of your jaw.

Your nitrile-gloved hand settles gently on the raw new skin just above his hip and he jumps, his own broad hand flying up defensively to catch your wrist and still your movement. It's a mistake he regrets immediately.

The skin of your wrist is still tacky-soft with still-settling moisturiser, hair curling damp where the spray of your shower caught it. Jason's mind spins an unbidden reel of your hands, smoothing lotion over the plush expanse of your thighs, the line of your neck and the gentle swell of your décolletage, the curve of your hip.

He presses his eyes shut tightly.

He feels feral, the hungry bones of him blown open and exposed like the hull of a shipwreck. He wants to worry marks the shape of his mouth into your thighs, your neck, across your collarbones. He wants your knees bracketing his hips, the weight of you on top of him.

God, he wants–

"Are you okay? You're not in too much pain, are you?" He hears you ask.

He knows he's in far too deep when the thought of tasting the way the words roll off your tongue flits across his mind.

"Sorry." He croaks, releasing your hand. "Instinct."

(Roy turns to Kori with a snort, murmuring low so you can't hear.

"He's been watching like he wants to eat them alive since the first time we met and it's a miracle he's got enough blood north of his waistband to be capable of speech, but sure. Instinct.")

[starsomens]

Warnings: Lab partners to lovers! Sex in a medical research lab, desk, PiV sex, spit in mouth(once), friends to lovers type, language, Noah goes from shy to dominant >:) and of course I had some inspiration help from @gretaswhore28 ✨

"uggghhhh" you groan leaning back from your microscope. You had been looking at sample all day trying to put together an explanation for the reaction it was having to certain medicines. You lean back in your chair and rub at your eyes

"You're gonna end up straining your vision you know," you lab partner, Noah chimes in

"I've been working on this for nearly 2 weeks! I keep getting the same results" you sigh "Maybe I should have a break"

"Oh wow she's actually taking my advice for once" he said sarcastically

You spin in your chair and stare at the tall man. His neck tattoos peeking up past his collar, his perfectly combed hair and dorky glasses. For someone who had his neck and hands covered in tattoos he tends to be quiet and shy. Almost all the other girls on the floor would try and flirt with him or try hitting on him, but the poor boy was just so shy, it honestly was very cute. You liked teasing him about just to see him all flustered

"hey I take you advice, you're the one who doesn't" you chuckle standing from your seat

"Oh yeah? Like what?" he asks leaning on his desk crossing his arms. You think for a moment

"hmmm....well...like how maybe you should roll your sleeve up because EVERYONE wants to know just how tattooed you are" you Walk to him and give him that knowing look

"Y/N, they could just ask and I have pictures,"

"yeah but in person, on the skin! It's different" he thinks for a second and takes his lab coat off leaving him in his button down baby blue shirt. You were smiling knowing you had gotten to him, that was until you felt something drilling into your head. Looking up you can see him just staring at you, once you caught his eyes you stare right back at him. Almost as if you froze in place.....his stare was....hypnotizing and....petrifying but.... alluring.

"Well, there you go. I take you advice so well," he lets his shirt fall to the floor leaving him in a white tank top “I did it on the spot”

“DAMN!” You didn’t mean to say it so loud, you hustled weren’t expecting to see him COVERED in tattoos “sorry I didn’t mean that they look….good..”

He holds his arm out “you can look closer if you want. You take a picture of his arm and start to trace some of the drawings on his skin. Whoever had tattooed him had done an amazing job. They were so detailed and beautiful. You hadn’t even realized that your touch was lingering on his skin.

“You like that princess?” He said in a hush voice

“Hu-?”

“ maybe I heard a couple things about you liking certain person here..” now it was his turn to tease you “ don’t think I haven’t noticed how you stare at me, or my hands whenever work, I noticed everything” he suddenly pushes your waist to the side and switches place with you. You were now against the desk and him in front of you.

"I-I....what? You're one to believe rumors Noah?" you asked clearly flustered

"I didn't but then I noticed your patterns. The way you'd dress, your perfume, how we always end up staying at work at the same times?" he smirks leaning into you "Am I right, princess?"

"I...I....it's just coincidence!" you defend yourself

"so why are you so red?" he leans into your ear, feeling his body heat radiating on to yours, you were just about to crack but as you were he pulls back and grabs his shirt from the floor

"But you're right, why should I believe rumors? Afterall it's people making things up because they're bored "he says as he puts his arms through the sleeves. Not only were you flustered and embarrassed now you were pissed.

"We should get packed up and head home for the night-" both your hands grab his loose collar and pull him to you and you look him dead in the eye

"You think I'd let you get away with that?" you crash your lips on his to which he returns the kiss. The kiss turns into something passionate and lust filled in just seconds. He lifts you on to the desk, knocking over a pen holder. His hands find your bare knees and push your skirt up your legs until the fabric sit over your hips. His lips trace down your face and to your neck, he rips open your shirt, causing the buttons to scatter on the floor

"Hey-"

"I'll buy you a new one" he kisses and nips at the valley of your breasts, making sure to leave a mark or two on them.

"You don't know....how long...I've wanted this" he says between kisses. Bring you to the edge of the desk, he stands between your legs And holds both your legs on either side of his body as he leans down against you.

" I can feel you soaking through your panties. You've been wanting this too, haven't you?" he chuckled

"Mmmm" his fingers, find your chin and make you look up at him

“Words princess,”

“Y-yes…” you can feel his bulge rubbing against you soon you were able to feel how wet you were yourself.

“That’s my good girl,” he kisses your nose “can I Y/N? Can I make you feel good?” He asks and you give him a shakes nod. Without breaking eye contact, he unbuckles his belt, and rips his pants enough to get himself out of his confinements. He pushes your panties aside and rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit.

“So wet…just for me,” his other hand, held your leg up by the back of your knee as he pushes himself in bottoming out in one go. You both sigh heavily from the feeling of him being inside you. A shiver ran through your body as he taking the situation. Here you were on your partners desk, leg spread, and his cock inside of you.

He pulls out nearly all the way and plunges back in again

“Oh fuck!” He starts to thrust into you at a rhythm. The quiet lap filled with erotic sounds of sex. Your head was thrown back as nose lips dig into the column of your neck. Nipping and licking at the skin.

“Good….so fucking good for me.” He huffs you had never seen this side of him before. “This pussy…is mine now. You got that?” He uses the desk for leverage as he fucks into you, Rasing your leg higher to go deeper into your pussy.

“Oh…god!” he was hitting all of the right spots, he was just the right size, and the right length. Everything was perfect down to the rhythm of his crust the way his hand was holding your body in place so he can fuck into you was also perfect.

“Nuh uh baby….” He huffs “no god here, only me…and you’ll call out only MY name!” He punctuates his words with deep thrusts

The desk rattles with every thrust he gives you. His lips leaving no area of your neck untouched. Maybe it was a silly little crush before but now you can say with full confidence that you would be his if he asked you to. Get on your knees for him….it was possible for just the pleasure to be corrupting you kind but he was right. You did like him. A whole lot…and now here you were.

Your nails claw at his back as he continues to thrust into you sporadically. Your legs tighten around his waist as his hands dig into your sides. There is a new look in his eye, one of lust and dominance. Completely opposite of the Noah that you were introduced to when he first started working here But this was such a turn on you can feel yourself posting around him the longer you looked in his eyes

His other hand rubbed tight circles on your clit, you can feel his cock twitch impulse inside of you. He captures your lips in a deep kiss, his tongue, pushing past your lips, and dancing with yours.

“ open your mouth baby” he huffs you follow his command, open your mouth slightly “stick that tongue out for me,”

Stick your tongue out, just enough for him to see

“Good girl,” he gathers a bit of spit and spits directly into your mouth. “Fucking swallow it,”

You swallow his spit feeling it washed down your throat. Your eyebrows knit together as you can feel a tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. You can feel your head become light as your eyes roll to the back of your head. The way he rocked his body into you, the way his fingers worked at your clit, the way his lips traced over your skin, it all made you see stars.

“ are you going to cum baby? Cum all over this cock?” you taking a hold of your jaw, giving your face a slight squeeze every now and then if you broke eye contact with him. His glasses slipping down to the very tip of his nose, but still staying in place. The lenses became slightly foggy due to the activities you were currently partaking in. His combed hair starting to fall into his face. in those deep, dark eyes only pushed you further into your pleasure. 

“You wanna cum so bad huh?” he teases as he slows down his rhythm just a bit. He could see your face, become slightly dissatisfied with his change and pace. “Oh my poor little slut, tell me what you want..”

“I-I wanna cum….please Noah…”

This pleased the scientist, as a large smile appears on his face. He takes a hold of your hips and studies his foot stamps. He stops for only moment, and begins to pound into faster and harder than before. He was coming to his end and you, but of course he knew the consequences if he did finish inside so he had to get you to finish first. He rubs your bundle of nerves faster as he feels tighten around him.

“That’s it baby, cum. Cum for me, cum all over this dick” and just as he commanded, you finish as your body is taken over by tremors he pulls out of you and pumps his fist along his cock. He finishes in spurts onto your chest. You’re both gasping and huffing messes. You feel his slender hands up your body pick up some of the cum left on your chest.

Brings the fingers up to your mouth and says

“Taste it Y/N,” hesitantly, open your mouth and allow him to stick his fingers inside, tasting his thick consistency on his fingers. It was slightly salty, but also drop of sweetness in there.

“You’re so good for me,” he smirks as he leans down close to you once again he kisses you once again, and pulls bad enough just to say “only for me,”

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Writeblr intro post

So yeah when I first came here I didn't know this was a thing so I've been working on this in the background. Now that it won the poll, I'm making it now!

I'm going to edit this post as I go so it has more links as I make posts about my WIPs!

About Me

Hi. Call me Kaylin. It's a pen name but I like it. (Some people are just finding out this isn't my real name and y'all should've read the bio)

I'm an education major and do writing on the side and it's a huge passion of mine (hence why I want to teach literacy)

Asexual demiromantic sapphic (she/her) currently in a relationship - (I am comfortable within reason to talk about my experiences)

Love ask games and tag games and generally interacting with others

Love reblogging mutuals' writing talking about WIPs!

21+ but my WIPs are YA - I don't usually reblog anything with a mature community label (sorry in advance for mutuals who do), but when I do I mark it 18+ and I try to label content warnings (LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED SOMETHING)

I'm an educator by heart so I love giving feedback, know a lot about kids, and of course education psychology and theory

I have minor scoliosis, early start of arthritis in my hands, and chronic headaches and migraines attacks in control with medication if anyone needs to ask me about these experiences for writing purposes. I also occasionally use a cane due to knee pain from an injury.

I have an ultimate get to know me game if you want to check that out

My asks are always open! Feel free to stop in whenever you want!

My WIPs

The Secret Portal

See linked intro post for more detail!

YA sci-fi/fantasy

Planned to be a five book series

Quick version: A bunch of adolescents discover a portal to a dimension populated by people with powers. There's also a war. Yayyy.

The first installment is currently in the process of being read by beta readers. Apply to be one here!

One to five game

Q&A (open at any time!)

Tagged as #the secret portal, #tsp, or #teaspoon if you want to give it a nickname. #tsp updates and #tsp excerpt are used as well. All characters get their own tag and #alium will be used when talking about my world building

Ask to be added to or removed from the tag list! @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

School of the Legends

See linked intro post for more detail!

YA urban fantasy fairy tale retelling

International school for people with gifts (born with), majicks (learn), and curses (given).

Currently in planning stage but five chapters have been written.

One to five game

Tagged as #school of the legends and #sotl. Also use #sotl updates and #sotl excerpt, though not as often as TSP

Ask to be added to or removed from the tag list! @illarian-rambling @katwritesshit @wyked-ao3

I have a WIP questionnaire I have gone for BOTH TSP and SOTL!

Other Ideas

It Was All Just a Dream - (linked WIP questionnaire) high school senior gets an entire redemption arc via vivid dream

The Emerald of Secrets - temporary title for vague fairy fantasy idea

Perspectives - we watch the same event five times in a row from different perspectives

Eternity - temporary title for a supernatural detective story

The Others - temporary title for a sci-fi apocalypse story

There are more but these are the main ones

What I Post or Reblog

Updates on my writing

Tag games and ask games! I love them dearly but it may take a bit to reply! I have a lot piled up and not all of them are simple. But I will get to them!!

Writing from others

Writing advice

Beta requests, book announcements, and intro posts to help boost!

I try to keep things positive! If I see a negative post about writing I'll usually reblog it with some positive spin. Sorry if that's annoying but it makes me sad that people aren't happy about writing.

I always try to include image IDs to make my blog accessible - if something is incorrect or you have any suggestions for making IDs better let me know!

[wild-karrde]

One Step at a Time - Part 15

Master List | Previous Part | Next Part

A/N: I have been SO EXCITED for this chapter, and also INCREDIBLY NERVOUS, but HERE IT IS! As always, thank you to the stupendous @teletraan-meets-jarvis for beta reading this for me!

Chapter Rating: M

Warnings: language, mention of suicide, mention of character death, grief

Word Count: 8.4k words

Chuckles didn’t go back to the Starlight.

He didn’t have any idea where his feet were carrying him until he slid onto a stool in the tiny excuse of a cantina the settlement had. As far as he knew, the place had at least three different names, and he’d never been certain which one was the official one. It always seemed to reek of death sticks and sweat, and it attracted mostly miners, leaving smears of dust from their boots across the floor. It wasn’t much, but the camaraderie and feel of the place reminded him of 79s, although the clone bar had definitely been cleaner, even on its worst days.

He wasn’t sure why he’d come here. Throughout his training and the war, he’d had more than enough medical droids warn him against drinking with a concussion, and he’d been stupid enough to ignore that advice only once. The worst hangover of his life combined with the exceptionally loud ass-chewing Crater had given him were enough to ensure he never would make that mistake again. His captain hadn’t normally been one to raise his voice, but he suspected the volume of the reprimand had been part of the punishment. 

Maybe he wanted to be around people, to blend into a crowd. 

Unfortunately, the place was mostly empty. 

Should have guessed that. Could have if my head wasn’t throbbing. 

Only two other patrons were there, tucked into corner booths. Normally, you couldn’t hear the music coming from the rundown player in the corner, but tonight, the notes easily carried across the cantina, cutting through the silence even at their low volume. 

Chuck chose a seat at the far end of the bar, away from the other patrons. He hadn’t gotten a good enough look to determine who they were, but he didn’t want to sit close enough to encourage conversation. Just because he wanted to be around people didn’t mean he actually wanted to interact with them. 

He just didn’t want to feel alone. 

Even with the concussion, he was thinking clearly enough to know he wasn’t ready to go back to the Starlight, to the kids he didn’t have answers for, to the sheets that still smelled like the woman that had just told him killing those kids and the use of inhibitor chips were justified. 

Did she actually say that though?

Chuckles folded his hands and stabbed his thumbs into the crease between his brows, his eyes squeezed shut. 

Stop trying to give her an out. 

He’d always been one to try and justify, to rationalize someone’s bad intentions away in favor of some less malicious reasoning. Crater had teased him about his optimism, but if he was honest, the majority of that optimism had died with Crater and most of his squad. 

But this was Endi. She loved kids, or she at least seemed to tolerate them better than most. She loved to teach. She baked the best desserts he’d ever had. Sunlight sparkled in her eyes and her laugh sounded like music. She was gentle and kind and soft and sweet, and the person he believed her to be simply did not match the woman he’d sat next to tonight. The two women were incompatible in every way, and yet they were the same, and no amount of spin or mental contortions would change the fact that she was a danger to Arni and Nita, a danger to him. 

How did I not see it?

His mind was still churning when he felt someone sit down next to him heavily. He ignored them for a moment before he felt a nudge in his shoulder. 

“I expected a better welcome,” Anj croaked. “You’d think I hadn’t almost died today.” 

He huffed mirthlessly as he tried not to stare. Anj’s head was wrapped in a wad of bandages that hid one eye. The other eye still glittered brightly but sported a massive bruise around the socket, and the cut on her cheek had been bandaged. The arm she had injured was in a sling, and he could see that two of her fingers were splinted. Every movement she made felt slow and carefully calculated, and he’d seen enough injured brothers to be able to see what body parts she was favoring or trying to keep away from scrutiny. In his estimate, she had at least a few injured ribs as well, an ankle that was giving her trouble, and she had all of the same muscle soreness he did. 

If she noticed him tallying her injuries, she didn’t comment. Instead, with her good hand, she slid him an unlabeled green bottle across the worn wooden bartop.

 “It was Lu’s. He kept the strongest stuff in town.” She sighed, her voice breaking slightly. “‘S not strong enough for this, though.” 

Chuckles rolled the bottle between his hands, examining the amber liquid inside. He wasn’t certain she wanted him to ask how she got it. So he didn’t.

“I can’t drink this right now.” He tapped his temple. “Concussed.”

She scoffed, taking the bottle back. “More for me then, I suppose.”

A glass of water brushed Chuckles’s knuckles, and he glanced up to see the barkeep standing on the other side of the counter, watching him carefully. He’d never been certain what species they were and figured it would be rude to guess, but they were at least visibly humanoid, a handful of centimeters taller than Chuck with dark skin and even darker eyes. Their shock of pink hair was woven into tight braids that hung down their back to their waist, and silver piercings sparkled from their nose and ears. They went by Mona and normally, they met their patrons with a smile and joke, but tonight, he could see sadness and sympathy in their eyes. 

Word’s gotten around about what happened.

“Thanks Mona,” he rasped. 

“Let me know if you need more. Anything for you, Anj?” 

The Nautolan raised the bottle she was drinking from wordlessly, and Mona took it, sniffing before wrinkling their nose. 

“I’d normally tell you to take outside shit back outside, but that’s Lu’s isn’t it?” 

Anj nodded, her eyes falling to the wooden bartop. 

“His stuff always could take the lining off your stomach,” Mona said softly, their deep voice suddenly more gravelly. “I’m sorry.”

Anj just nodded again, and Chuckles could see her swallow hard, her teeth digging into her lower lip as her thumb rubbed over the bottle. Mona met Chuck’s eyes one more time before slipping out of view. 

“How’s Hells?” Chuckles asked, hoping the news would be good enough to bring Anj up a little.

“She’ll live. Lost a lot of blood, but we… we got her there in time. A few more minutes, and we’d be having a very different conversation.” 

Chuckles fought off a shudder at the possibility that they’d eluded. 

She’s alive. She’s ok.

“She may never walk unaided again though.” The statement was forced out through gritted teeth, and Anj’s voice broke on the end of the last word. 

“But she’ll walk,” Chuckles said softly. 

“Yeah. Yeah, she will.” Anj rasped with a soft, pained laugh. “Once she woke up, she was already chattering about what sort of cane she’d want, and how I shouldn’t worry because it will make her that much more interesting.” She took a swig from the bottle, hardly flinching at the harshness of the liquor inside. “Her first thought was to comfort me, as if I was the one that almost lost her leg today. As if I was the one that almost bled out in her arms.” She sniffed. “Like I always say, she’s a kindness I never accounted for in my life.”

“Petal?” Chuckles prompted after a moment.

Anj sighed, dropping her voice low as if someone might hear. “The first time she… she touched my face, it was so gentle. I flinched because of my previous partner, but Helly was slow and patient with me. She never pushed me, but it made me want to let her have more of me.” She paused. “There was a tree on one of the small islands near where I grew up on Glee Anselm. I can’t even remember if the island had a name now, but I remember the tree. It would bloom every spring with these pale pink blossoms, and towards summer, it would drop the petals when the wind would pick up. My sister and I loved to run and dance in them when it happened, and that sensation of the petals grazing my cheek, that’s what Helly made me think of the first time she touched my face. So, she’s Petal to me.” 

“Execute Order 66.”

The memory of the tree in the Jedi temple gardens slammed into Chuckles, and tears leapt into his eyes. He swallowed hard, burying that moment of peace and the violence that had followed. 

“That’s… that’s really beautiful, Anj,” he croaked out. 

“So is she,” the Nautolan replied, seemingly not noticing his turmoil or chalking it up to the day they’d both had. 

They sat in silence for a while. Chuckles had a million questions he wanted to ask Anj, but he wasn’t sure if now was the time. She was clearly grieving, and the day’s events had taken a toll on them both. 

But I need to know. I need to know so I can protect the kids. 

“Why’d he do it?” 

The question was out of his mouth before he could overthink it. The Nautolan didn’t meet his gaze, locking her dark eye on the shelves at the back of the bar as if the half-empty bottles were suddenly the most interesting thing in the universe. 

“What makes you think I know?” Her tone was slow, deliberate, just like his had been when he’d been trying to disentangle himself from Endi an hour before. 

“Hells said something in the mine. That she didn’t think he’d do something. That you both didn’t think it.” 

Anj shrugged, taking a drink before answering. 

“Helly was delirious with pain. She didn’t know what she was saying. Surprised she could even get a coherent sentence strung together.”

“Anjii.” Annoyance flared within Chuckles. He leaned closer, dropping his voice low. “I need you to tell me what you know. I need to keep my kids safe, and I can’t do that if I don’t have all the information. I need to know what you know, otherwise you’re putting Arni and Nita in danger.”

Anj said nothing for a moment, but a muscle in her jaw ticked in anger. Her eye darted around the bar one last time, ensuring no one was listening to them before she lowered her voice. 

“I’ve done a hell of a lot to keep your kids safe, Chuckles. More than you’ll ever know.” Her unbandaged eye finally met his, piercing even in the dim lighting. “And I did it without you having to tell me anything you didn’t want to. Even though you didn’t trust me fully.” 

Chuckles shrank back in his seat, his heart thundering in his chest. Anj’s expression softened as she took his reaction in. His mind raced, rapid thoughts bouncing off the pounding throb behind his eyes.

She knows. We have to get out of here. 

He stood. Anj’s good hand clamped around his forearm. 

“Sit,” she hissed. “If you run now, you’ll only make this worse. There’ll be questions. Now, sit.” 

Chuckles stood still, his mind scrambling to pull a stream of logical thoughts together, but panic overwhelmed him. 

What does she know? Who else knows? How long do we have?

“Sit. Down.” 

He sat. 

Anj watched him for a moment before casting another cautious glance around. She leaned in closer, her voice slightly above a whisper.

“The day we helped move the kids down to the hold, Arni ran back up to get one more thing out of the bunk. Now, I was holding the last armful of knick-knacks, so that struck me as odd, but kids sometimes have things stashed, so I thought nothing of it. They came back a few minutes later with something shoved up under their shirt. I didn’t press, but they stumbled on the last step, and that metallic something clattered out onto the floor. I turned, and they were hurriedly shoving it back out of view.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “I’ve seen many weapons in my time, Chuck. Several of the variety they were carrying, although never up close.”

Their lightsaber. She saw their lightsaber.

Chuckles felt like the bottom of his stomach was going to drop out. His mind frantically raced, trying and failing to come up with a believable explanation as to why an eleven-year-old would have a Jedi weapon.

“Anj-”

She raised her hand to cut him off. “I turned away, and as far as they know and as far as I’m concerned, I never saw it. Got it?” 

He nodded, unable to formulate words. 

Her eye was flicking over every centimeter of his face, taking in his reaction, watching him process the new information. Finally, she spoke again. 

“I need you to understand that you can trust me. That there is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you and your kids safe. Hells knows too. I couldn’t keep it from her. She knows me too well. But there are people that you’re close to that wouldn’t do the same.”

“I know about Endi,” he said quietly. 

Anj’s mouth drew into a thin line. 

“Ah,” was all she said. 

“I mean, I didn’t know, not until tonight,” he stumbled. “I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it wasn’t that. I just… that’s why I’m here. And not at home. I don’t understand what happened, and I don’t have answers.” He scrubbed his hands over his face before tugging gently on his mohawk. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?” 

A look of guilt clouded Anj’s features. She rolled her shoulders, rolling the bottle between her hands. “Thought you’d see it on your own eventually. And I wasn’t sure how to intervene without telling you what I knew. I wasn’t sure how you’d react to me knowing something you didn’t want me to.” 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, Anj,” he rasped, his throat suddenly tightening on him. “I wanted to. The kids love you and Hells. I just… the last place we were at, I told people. And then those people had to lie for us, and that put them in danger. And I… I didn’t want to do that to you.” 

“You wanted to tell her.”

“I did,” he gritted out. “Almost did tonight. Thank the Maker she told me where she stood first.” 

Anj was quiet for a moment. “There wasn’t much about the war that made it out here. Lots of folks have to just believe what they see on the feeds. That’s all we get out here.” 

“You know better.”

“I do. But I wasn’t always on Lothal.” 

Chuckles paused. “You said you saw… a weapon like Arni’s before.”

Anj nodded, taking another deep pull from the bottle, drawing her lips back from her teeth in a grimace as the liquor burned her insides. “I did. Was in Chaleydonia on Christophsis when the war broke out. The Separatists moved in quick, and then there was a siege and a battle, and I decided I wanted no part of it, so I headed for Lothal. Seemed like it wouldn’t see much action, and my bet paid off. Well, until now, I suppose.” 

“And that was enough? To make you see things differently about the Jedi?”

Anj shrugged again. “I don’t claim to understand the ins and outs of everything that happened politically at that time. But I do know what the Jedi meant to people. Growing up, we were taught that they were peacekeepers. The stuff of legends, really. And regardless of how much of that was true or not, I don’t see how killing off all of them did anyone a lick of good.” She shivered slightly, and her grip tightened around the bottle, now only about half full. Her voice dropped even lower. 

“I’m no fan of the Empire. Wasn’t that big on the Republic either, but they at least felt like they tried at times. The Empire just seems keen to get as much power as they can and quash any naysayers. And all that about the Jedi? I don’t know everything, but I cannot imagine a galaxy that would be better off without Arni and Nita existing.” 

Chuckles’s vision blurred, and his voice cracked. He sniffed hard. “Me either.” 

He felt Anj’s eye on him and turned to meet her gaze. More questions were looming in her expression, and he could guess what they were. 

You can trust her. You know you can. 

He took a deep breath. 

“My chip didn’t work,” he said softly. “I was still in service at the end of the war. I’d gone to the temple to see someone, and that’s when all hell broke loose. I-I saw them, my brothers, killing Jedi, killing children.” His hands were shaking, and he folded them together, clasping tightly to keep the tremors in check. “I found the kids and got them out. At first I thought… I thought it had to be Seppies. That they’d gotten ahold of clone armor and snuck in. There was no universe in which I could fathom them doing that.”

“So the chips were real?”

“I think so. Never got any official confirmation, but when the order was given, there was a sharp pain in my head, like something trying to activate, crazy as that may sound.” His fingers drifted up to graze the place on his scalp where he’d felt that stabbing pressure that day. “I just… they’d never have done that, Anj. Not without something making them.”

“Why didn’t yours work?”

He huffed a laugh. “The only thing I can figure is too many concussions. I’ve come down on that place on my head at least twice. Best guess is I’ve damaged it. So I kept my wits about me by sheer dumb luck.”

Anj chuckled quietly. “So your concussions saved your life. And theirs.” She extended the lip of the bottle towards the rim of his water glass. 

“It’s bad luck to toast with water,” he mumbled. 

“You think we haven’t used up all the bad luck today?”

Chuckles huffed at that, clinking his glass of water against her bottle. “Luck didn’t have much to do with it.”

“Oh, I think we’re luckier than you know,” Anj said softly. 

The Nautolan sighed deeply, clearly still wrestling with how much to tell him. Finally, she gingerly turned, fishing a piece of folded flimsi out of her back pocket and placing it on the bar top. She drummed her fingers on it, still thinking until finally, she let out a long, slow exhale. 

“Judging by the fact that you’re still sitting here and not halfway to hyperspace, I’m going to assume you’ve decided to trust me with your secret. At least, I’m hoping you’re not going to kill me after we leave here.” Her lip was curled into a nervous smirk. 

“Thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Plus, I think I still like your odds, even with one arm in a sling,” he joked with a pained wink. 

Anj relaxed slightly. “Right. Well, then it’s only fair I put my trust in you.” She tapped the paper. “This was in the breast pocket of the shirt you had on. Hells was still clutching it when they brought her into the med tent.” 

His brow furrowed in confusion. “I didn’t have anything in that pocket.” 

“It’s from Lu.” 

Chuckles’s blood pounded in his ears as his brain raced back to the moments just before the explosion. He remembered Lu’s expression, the way he’d awkwardly patted Chuck’s chest, just above the pocket. 

“Karking hells,” he swore quietly. 

“I’m going to tell you what I know about Lu,” Anj continued, as if she hadn’t heard him. “And then you and I are gonna read this together. I tried. I couldn’t do it. It’s addressed to you. And I just can’t do it.” 

Chuckles nodded slowly. “Alright.” 

Anj studied the bottle between her hands, and he could see she was steeling herself for what she was about to share. He propped his feet on the bar stool and faced forward, occasionally glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. He knew she’d speak when she was ready, and he didn’t want to stare at her or the folded note sitting next to her elbow. Finally, she spoke, her voice gravelly and grief-stricken. 

“Lu was like you and I,” she rasped tightly. “Has a past he’s running from. His homeworld was one of the first to have the Empire clamp a manacle on it. Entire cities occupied with patrols in the streets, picking people up for silly things like being out past curfew. Lu and a few others didn’t take kindly to that and raised a bit of hell about it. Most of his friends got locked up, but Lu had his twin sister Cilli and her family depending on him, so he managed to get out and ran here. He’s been lying low, sending money home to Cilli and her kids. They were close. Real close. Their parents died young, so they’ve been looking out for one another ever since. Cilli’s second pregnancy was so hard, and her man cut and ran when things got tough, so Lu stepped up.” Anj paused to take another swig from the bottle, wincing slightly. “Someone got a message to Lu yesterday. The Empire found out Cilli was getting credits from him. Not sure how. He was so careful, running the credits through all sorts of different places to make sure it didn’t trace back to him. But someone figured it out, and the Imperials classified that as conspiring with a traitor to the Empire. Apparently they take their treason quite seriously, and they raided the house. With detonators.” 

She paused to let out a shuddering breath. 

“The kids were inside, and they didn’t care. Kids. Gone in an instant. They were closest to the door. As you can imagine, Cilli didn’t take it lying down, not after seeing her babies die. From what it sounds like, she went out with a blaster in her hand and a curse on her lips.” 

Anj’s head was down, her tendrils hiding her face. Chuckles could still hear her quivering exhales. The blood was drained from her knuckles, and it was a wonder the bottle in her hand hadn’t shattered in her grip.

“I commed Lu to give him a heads up about the inspectors yesterday, and when he didn’t answer, I went over to check on him. He’s normally pretty responsive, so it struck me as odd. When I got there, I could tell right away something was wrong. He was quiet, more quiet than usual, but there was a tremor in his hands and an anger I could just feel rolling off of him. I finally pressed enough for him to tell me, and when he started talking, it was like he couldn’t stop the words. I told him to take the week off, to not do anything rash. But the minute I saw him today, I knew he hadn’t listened.” 

Chuckles chewed the inside of his cheek as he turned the information over in his head. He certainly understood that anger that Lu had felt. There had absolutely been days where he’d felt the losses so deeply that he’d considered burning everything down. 

The difference is you didn’t. Because your remaining brothers would have faced the consequences.  

“Anger and grief are a deadly combination,” he murmured bitterly. “Keeps you from thinking clearly. And that’s when you put the other people you care about in danger.” 

Anj’s head snapped up, and her eye pierced into him fiercely. 

“Watch your tongue.”

He glared back at her, taking a sip of his water. “He brought the damn shaft down on us, Anj. He almost killed us too. I get his anger, trust me, I do. But I would never have done something that could have gotten others I cared about hurt.”

“And Lu didn’t either,” she snarled under her breath. 

“How do you figure?” 

She sighed, picking at the edge of one of her bandages. 

“I didn’t know the reason for the inspection until this morning. The new shaft was pushed for by the Empire in order to meet their quotas, so they provided small mining corporations with some of the construction materials as incentives to expand. Every screw and strut and gear in that shaft comes from Imperial factories, and apparently, that means they’re built by the lowest bidder.” She scoffed angrily. “Jerrno got notice from some of his partners that the inspectors were coming to look at the construction of the shaft. Apparently, they’ve been making the rounds, claiming shafts aren’t being constructed properly, but they’re just covering their own asses. The beams we were supplied with can’t hold what they’re spec’ed to. Another mine saw a collapse last month, and the inspectors came out and blamed the corp and their construction processes. But when they tested out a few of the extra beams they had leftover, they found the struts didn’t even come close to being as durable as they were supposed to be.” 

Chuckles nodded slowly as she met his gaze once more, her voice quieter. 

“Lu was the best damn demolitions expert I’ve ever seen. He could blow a mite off a massiff without waking it up. He had no way of knowing about the fucking beams. Teef was filling me in right when Lu walked in.” Her voice broke. “You think what you want, but I believe Lu just wanted to take out the shaft and inspectors, not bring the entire cliff down on us. That collapse was far too uncontrolled for one of his explosions.” 

Her fist tightened around the neck of the bottle, and the muscle in her jaw twitched angrily again.

 “They weren’t even going to tell us about the beams. The inspectors just strolled in this morning without so much as a ‘hello’ or ‘fuck you’. They were just gonna tell us it was our fault. Probably still will.” 

She drained the bottle, tossing it into a bin at the back of the bar before she turned to face Chuckles again. 

“Lu didn’t almost kill us, but the Empire sure did.” 

Chuckles let out a long, shuddering breath. All of the anger and resentment he felt leaked out of him, and grief swiftly settled into its place. Of course Lu hadn’t meant to hurt them, not the Lu that had held Nita’s hand or listened to Arni babble on for hours, not the Lu that had quietly showed up with furniture for the kids’ room and watched with a quiet smile as they squealed over it. There was almost a relief for Chuckles, to let the pieces fall into place and find that the Nikto he’d known was the same person he’d always thought he was, the confirmation that Lu was the Lu he’d seemed to be. 

It still felt as though he’d lost two people today, Lu and the Endi he thought he’d known, and he grieved them both. Tears streamed from his eyes, and he wiped at them hurriedly, sniffling hard. 

“I’m so sorry, Anj.” 

“You had no way of knowing,” she croaked. “I just… I know he’s going to get branded as a terrorist, an unhinged and dangerous and cruel man.” 

It’s already happening, Chuckles thought, Endi’s words echoing in his mind. 

“But we know better,” Anj continued. “We knew him.” 

“We did,” Chuckles agreed. Quietly, he reached over for the note. Anj didn’t move. Taking a deep breath, he unfolded the paper. 

Chuck,

I can’t give this to Anj or Hells. They’ll know immediately and stop me. So I’m sorry, but it has to be you. I know you may not get my reasoning, and that’s fine, but I know you’ll understand wanting to keep loved ones safe, and the anger that comes with failing at that. Tell Anj I’m sorry, but I can’t let it stand. I’m sure she’ll tell you why, about my sister. All that I had in this galaxy was spilled on Cilli’s front stoop. I can’t stand for it, but I can damn sure fall making my point. 

I don’t know how Arni and Nita came to be yours, but keep them safe at all costs. I’ve taken your name off the roster for today and for the rest of the week. Left a note for Jerrno that I didn’t want your name involved, especially being a clone. I’m confident that’ll be enough, and Anj’ll see that it is.

You and your kids are special, a symbol of hope in a galaxy turned on its head. I hope they have the future I wanted for my kin. See that they do. And see that Arni keeps that laser sword better hidden. 

It’s better this way. I know too many names and too many places, and I can’t have any more blood on my soul. Tell Anj and Hells I’m sorry. I hope they’ll forgive me and know that they were the family I chose. You all were. 

Lu

“That shithead did see,” Anj breathed over Chuckles’s shoulder. “He was right behind me, that day on the ship, but I stepped in front of Arni, trying to hide it better.” She choked out a laugh. “Never reacted, and had a perfect sabacc face about it when I probed later. Karking asshole.” 

“The roster?” Chuckles managed to grit out around the emotions that were overwhelming him.

“I’ll see that it’s handled,” Anj said quietly. “And I’ll testify to whoever that will listen that Lu acted alone, that he’d been nursing anti-Imperial sentiment for a long time, but we never thought it’d get this far.” 

“Anj, I can’t ask that-”

“You’re not askin’. I’m telling you how it’s going to be. Maker alive, Lu wasn’t stupid, but this was impulsive and short-sighted and driven by grief. He planned all these contingencies, but he didn’t really think this through. And now, here we are, picking up the pieces and trying to stay safe while he fucks off into whatever afterlife he believed in.” Chuckles could see her moving through her grief, allowing some anger at her friend to finally show. 

“It won’t even take them long to fix that shaft,” she snorted. “A few months at most, even if we replace all the struts, and we’ll be right back down there. I know I told him to not do anything rash, but if he’d… I’d have…” She took a deep, steadying breath. “I’d have at least helped him make sure it counted for something.”

It was then that Chuckles saw it. Anj sat back, her unbandaged eye glistening with unshed tears, and yes, there was grief there, but more than that, there was betrayal. She’d thought Lu would reach out to her, would allow her to help him when he needed her most, and instead, he’d gone alone. 

“He kept you safe by keeping you out of it,” Chuckles rasped, reaching over and gripping her hand. She tried to yank it away, but he held on tightly. “And for that, I’m grateful, Anj. Because I’d have done the same.”

“I doubt that,” she snorted, wiping at her eye with her good hand. “Even as reckless as you are.” 

Chuckles was quiet for a beat before he folded his hands in front of him. “When I was a pilot, I lost a lot of brothers. Pretty much my entire squad once. I got out by the skin of my teeth. A pilot’s death isn’t like a normal soldier. We don’t bleed out slowly on some battlefield. It’s rare we even get a shot at a medic. If a ship’s done, it’s done, and in the middle of a fight, it’s not like you can take it to a hangar for maintenance.” 

He felt Anj watching him, and he pressed on slowly. 

“Sometimes, when your ship’s damaged and there’s no hope of you making it home, you do something reckless. You do what you can to steer your fighter and take out as many of the bad guys as you can. It’s not an official thing we’re trained to do, but many of my brothers did. Of course they knew it wasn’t always guaranteed to do much. Sometimes, you’re just a spec of flame on the side of a much bigger battle station. But the thing is, you hope that at a minimum, someone will see it happen, will see you doing everything you can with the moments that you have left, and you hope that galvanizes them.” He ran his thumb along the edge of his water glass. “I think Lu knew as well as you do that it wouldn’t take them long to rebuild, but I think what he hoped is that we’ll be galvanized by what he did. We’ll see what the Empire did to him and his family, and we’ll see his final act of defiance, and we’ll carry that spirit with us and spread it.” He tugged lightly at his mohawk. “I’ve been hiding for the last year, worried that if I stepped into the fight again, I’d put my kids and those around us at risk. But now… I don’t know.” 

“I don’t know either,” Anj said quietly. “But what I do know is I’m not sure I can let it all stand. Same as Lu. But I haven’t an inkling of where to start.” 

Chuckles took another sip of his water. “Right now, I think the best thing we can do is keep Lu’s memory and message alive,” Chuckles whispered. “Let the anger and the grief pass so that you think clearly. And then you wait.” 

“Wait?”

He nodded. “The opportunities will come. We start small. Maybe someone like Lu or me needs a job, and we help them get one and cover their tracks. Maybe some expensive equipment goes missing.” 

Anj chewed her lip, and he could see her thinking. “Maybe someone with a lot of pull finds out about the construction materials in the mines.” 

“Maybe,” he agreed. Grief was still the main emotion in his system, but Chuckles could feel something sparking in his chest, like a nearly-dead ember being blown upon. He hadn’t felt that spark in over a year, but it felt good, right even. 

Maybe I’m finally on the right path. 

He could feel a similar energy radiating off of Anj. The slump in her shoulders had disappeared, and a hint of her usual smirk was tugging at the corner of her mouth. “For Lu,” she said quietly, holding out her pinky finger on her uninjured hand towards Chuckles. 

He grinned. 

“For Lu,” he promised, locking his pinky with hers. 

“But tonight, we rest.”

“Some of us do,” he corrected her. “I’m not supposed to sleep much.” 

“I don’t know that either of us will do much of that,” Anj said quietly, some of the sadness seeping back in. “But we can still try.”

“We can.” Chuckles pushed his stool back from the bar, standing carefully. He folded the flimsi back up and slid it back to Anj. “You keep this.” 

She nodded wordlessly, taking the note between her calloused fingers and rubbing it gently. “Don’t come ‘round the mine until I tell you it’s safe, got it?” she whispered.

“Yes ma’am.” He gently clapped a hand on her shoulder. “Take care of yourself. And give Hells my love. Let us know if there’s anything we can do.” 

“When she’s better, can you bring the kids around?” Anj asked quietly. Chuckles could hear the emotion she was holding back. “They always make her light up.” 

“You got it,” he said quietly. 

She nodded. 

“‘Night Mona!” Chuckles called over his shoulder. He thought he heard them call a soft response, but he was already out the door.

He wasn’t sure if it was the water or the conversation or his headache finally fading a bit, but a determination had settled into his chest, one that he hadn’t realized had been lying dormant in the year since the war. He wanted to do something, even if he wasn’t sure what that was yet. 

But we’ve got to be safe. I can’t put the kids in danger. 

But what am I teaching them if we just keep running and hiding?

How to survive.

But what if they want more than that? 

His mind was still wrestling with itself, even as he made his way home, his feet carrying him back to the Starlight as if on autopilot. The interior of the ship was dark and quiet, and he could still smell the dinner he’d shared with Arni and Nita hours ago. The familiarity of it all brought a sense of relief, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. He kicked off his boots with a sigh, shutting the hatch behind him. 

Home. But maybe not settled. 

His eyes burned, and he ground the heel of his hand into them, huffing a quiet laugh.

One step at a time. 

A soft shuffling sound broke him out of his haze, an incongruence from his expectations that jarred him just enough to draw his attention. His eyes snapped to the co-pilot seat. 

Arni was sitting in it, wrapped in the heavy blanket from his bunk. They clearly hadn’t anticipated him coming home, but their sharp brown eyes quickly scanned his face, absorbing everything as usual. He was too tired and overwhelmed to try and hide his feelings anymore tonight.  

“Why are you up, kid?” he asked. 

They shrugged. “Woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.” 

“Nita?”

“Out. She was pretty tired.” 

Chuckles nodded, trudging over to the pilot seat and plopping into it. He let his gaze drift out the front viewport to the stars, taking in the mountains and the soft glow of the town, suddenly less welcoming than it had seemed when he’d woken up this morning. 

Maker alive, morning feels like a lifetime ago. When Lu was still here.

It wasn’t all threatening. There was good in the little town still, but there were also threats he’d let slide past his defenses, and now more than ever, he needed to be cautious.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” Arni said softly, interrupting his thoughts. 

He sighed heavily. “Me too, kid. I’m sorry I scared you like that.”

“Wasn’t your fault,” they replied, hugging the blanket closer around them. 

“Is that why you can’t sleep?”

They nodded. “When… when we first heard about the explosion, I knew there was a chance you were gone. So I started trying to think of what we’d do, Nita and me.” 

Chuckles’s heart shattered. 

“I figured I could probably keep doing repairs, and maybe Grinz would let me help out at the store for some credits,” they continued. “I just needed to find a way to keep us fed until I was old enough to go into the mines. I think we could have made it work.” They turned to look at him, their eyes shining with tears. They gave him a small smile. “I’m glad we don’t have to though.”

Chuckles slid out of his chair, kneeling in front of Arni and pulling them into a tight hug. 

“I’m so sorry, Arni. I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His chest swelled with awe at the young Twi’lek and their selflessness, but the fact that they thought they were alone again, that they’d have to take care of Nita on their own tore at him. He bit back a shuddering sob, rocking Arni back and forth. He felt a damp spot form on his shirt where their face was pressed against his chest, and their fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m right here, kid. I’m alright.” 

“I know. I was just scared.”

“That’s allowed.” 

After a few minutes, they released him, wiping at their nose and eyes. Chuckles shifted back in the pilot’s seat, sniffling back his own emotions. 

“Why didn’t you stay at Endi’s?” Arni asked quietly after a few moments. 

Chuckles turned his head to look at them. They were watching him intently, gathering data from his reaction to the question. And that’s when it dawned on him. 

The wariness. The hesitation. It all makes sense. 

He sighed deeply. 

“You knew, didn’t you? About her and how she felt about… about it all?”

Arni’s eyes dropped to their lap. They nodded. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Another shrug. “You seemed happy. And you deserve to be happy.” They met his gaze. “I thought you knew.” 

Chuckles stared at them for a moment before scrubbing his hands over his face, tugging lightly at his mohawk. 

“Arni, there is no universe where I’d want to be with someone like that. That thinks like that.” He sighed again. “Whoever I’m with, I want it to be someone that I could eventually trust with our secrets. Endi and people that see the galaxy the same way will never fit that category, understand?” His voice cracked, and he did his best to keep the anger and grief he felt at bay.

They thought I’d put someone like that above them.

Arni nodded again, meeting his eyes. “Maybe you can convince her.”

Chuckles huffed at the suggestion. “Nah. I don’t want to be with someone that I have to convince that killing children was a bad idea,” he joked dryly. “Or that putting chips in me and my brothers’ heads was wrong.” He shook his head, releasing a mirthless laugh. “I just can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. I’m such a kriffing idiot.” 

“You’re not,” Arni said quietly. “You wanted to see the good in her. And I can’t fault you for that.” They pulled their skinny legs up to their chest, wrapping their arms around their knees. “Being alone is hard. I don’t want you to feel alone, Chuckles.” 

“I’ve got you and Nita. I’ll never be alone.”

“That’s different and you know it,” they countered. “I saw how you looked at Teacher Endi. I’ve never seen you look at anyone else like that.” 

Chuckles blew out a long breath through his mouth. 

Dark curls. Sharp eyes. A twist of a smirk. 

“There was someone else that I looked at like that. A long time ago,” he said quietly. 

“What were they like?” 

He glanced over at Arni. They were watching him intently with wide eyes. 

“Only if you want to talk about them. I’d like to hear,” they added. 

Chuckles nodded, letting his mind drift back to the garages of Coruscant. 

“Her name was Brienna. We called her Bri for short. Well, Bolts mostly. She was a mechanic that worked on our ships. Deep, brown eyes that felt like she knew everything about you from just one glance, dark, wild curls that she always was blowing out of her face. A smile that could light your whole day up just before she ripped you a new asshole. Maker, she was so smart and quick. She was short, but she acted like she was ten meters tall. Took no shit from anyone.” He realized his cheeks were hurting from how big he was smiling. He hadn’t let himself think about Bri in a long time. Not really. But it felt good. 

Arni was smiling too, as if Chuckles’s joy was infectious. “What happened to her?”

The smile on Chuck’s face faded. 

“Not sure. I was going to see her on the day the war ended. We’d been seeing each other in secret, keeping it casual. She didn’t want the other pilots to think I was getting special treatment, so we didn’t tell many people. I’d promised to take her to dinner when the war was over and court her properly. And then… well, you know the rest of that story.” 

“Did you love her?”

Chuckles chewed the inside of his cheek. “Yeah. Yeah I did. Was thinking of telling her that night.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Chuckles met Arni’s eyes again. “I’m not. I got you and Nita out of the deal.”

“But you never got to tell her.”

He sighed again, shrugging one shoulder. “That’s true. But I’d like to think she knew. And I almost hope she thinks I died. Better that than her thinking I was a child killer or a mindless drone that offered the Republic up on a silver platter.” 

“That’s still sad.” 

Chuckles tucked his hands behind his head, carefully propping his boots up on the flight console of the ship. 

“It is, but I was lucky that I got to experience love like that, kid. Not many of my brothers did. There were some that tried to make things work, but it was hard. You knew tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, and if you found someone to share your life with, there was a good chance you might leave them behind. Not to mention a good portion of the galaxy didn’t see us as people in the first place. I was lucky to have Bri, even if it was brief and didn’t end the way I wanted it to.”

“Do you miss her?” 

Heat crept up to Chuckle’s cheeks, and his eyes stung slightly. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “When I think about her.” He looked over at Arni. “I think you would have liked her.” 

“What if we tried to find her?”

He forced a smile, touched by Arni’s hopefulness and desire to find someone that meant so much to him. But he didn’t share their optimism. 

“It’s a nice thought, but I wouldn’t even know where to start, kiddo.” He reached over and squeezed their shoulder. 

“I’m alright. I’m sure she’s moved on already. And I want her to be happy, you know?”

Arni appeared to contemplate this for a few moments. 

“You should be happy too.”

Chuckles’s smile came more naturally this time. “I will be, kid. It hurts a bit right now, but I will be happy. Don’t you worry.” 

They sat in silence for a while longer, watching the stars together. Finally, Chuckles could hear Arni’s breathing deepen, punctuated by the occasional soft snore. As carefully as he could, he gathered the Twi’lek in his arms and made his way down to the hold, doing his best not to trip over the toys that were scattered around. Nita was still dozing quietly, her trooper doll tucked close to her side. Chuckles tucked Arni back into bed gently, waiting a few minutes for the confirmation that they were still asleep, and when he heard another snore escape them, he smiled, sneaking back to the cockpit. 

It had been a while since he’d slept in the pilot’s chair, but it felt fitting tonight. He considered what he’d do with the sheets that still smelled like Endi as he retrieved the brown bottle of mystery liquor from its hiding place and sat back down heavily in the weathered seat.

Maybe just a little. There isn’t that much of it left anyway.

Sorry, Crate.

The burn of the booze felt nice and familiar, warming his insides and taking some of the edge off of his feelings. He knew he had to come up with a reason to end things with Endi, one that didn’t create suspicion or out him as an enemy of the Empire. He also knew he’d likely have to carry on the charade for a while longer. He’d acted strangely enough tonight that ending things immediately may make her suspicious. 

He hated this. 

“Now’s just not a good time for the kids. Work’s getting to be too much, especially with what just happened, and I don’t think that’s fair to you.”

No, that lets her counter it. 

“I’m not over the last person I was with. I’m not ready to move on yet. I thought I was, but I’m not.”

That could work. 

It wasn’t exactly untrue now that he thought about it. How many times had flashes of Brienna invaded his mind while he was with Endi? How many times had he almost called her the wrong name?

Maybe I was just trying to find someone to fill that space for me. But no one was ever going to be her.

Chuck glanced over at the now-empty co-pilot chair and noticed Arni had left their sketching supplies in it. Leaning over, he picked up a loose piece of flimsi and placed it on the top of their journal before reaching for a pencil. 

He started with her eyes. Those were her most striking feature, in his opinion. He could get the shape right after a few rough attempts, but never could seem to capture the light in them or the sharpness, the way they’d always felt like they were pinning him down. He moved on to her nose, which proved easier, and then her lips. He couldn’t quite get their fullness right or the permanent skeptical quirk her mouth always seemed to have, but what he finally came up with felt somewhat acceptable. The curve of her jaw was easy enough from memory; he’d touched that place on her enough to never forget it, cradling her face when he’d kissed her, running his fingers along it as she slept. 

Her ears were impossible, and he eventually compromised by deciding to cover them with her hair, but even that wasn’t right. The curls were mostly the right shape, but he couldn’t get them to sit right against her face, nor could he add the shine they always seemed to have. As his frustration grew, so did his level of inebriation, and at some point he tossed the paper and pencil aside with a huff, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders and grumbling to himself before eventually drifting off to sleep. 

Brienna’s loud cackle and brown eyes haunted his dreams. He could almost feel the rough fabric over her coveralls beneath his fingers, smell the oil and grease on her skin. 

Bri. 

Even with the concussion, Chuckles slept through the night, too overcome by exhaustion to worry about protocol. When he awoke in the morning, the paper and pencils had all been cleared away along with the empty liquor bottle.

Tag List: @redheadgirl @cyarbika @witchklng @djarrex @arctrooper69 @sleepingsun501 @ladytano420 @rexxdjarin @echos-girlfriend @zoeykallus @leftealeaf @galacticgraffiti @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall @ariadnes-red-thread @goblininawig @merkitty49 @ladykatakuri @runforrestr @baba-fett @daimyosprincess @obihiddlenox @bucketbunny99 @fordo-kixed-rex @nerd-ika @amish---paradise @arctrooperechy

[angelofchaos001]

Time for my post about my two dumbass OC's, I'll eventually get good enough at hearthians to give them references buuuuuuut not for a while *shrug*

Mild spoilers for the base game and DLC!

@doodlebug091 @mellow-mooon Sorry Lumi but you made the mistake of being into this game, you get to hear all my terrible ideas.

Shale

Shale is a young adult hearthian, around the same age as the protagonist is. They always had a unique obsession with space as a hatchling, and wanted to join Outer Wilds Ventures to become a traveler like many others. When they joined the training, they trained alongside a few other hearthians around the same age and expertise.

While in training, Shale heard about the other travelers and the aspirations of their own class, and they developed a fixation on exploring beyond their own solar system. This fixation only grew as they learned more, wondering where the Nomai came from, what it could have been like, and what other life could lie beyond their small system. The Interloper became a major study for them, and was the focus of many small projects. Once finally able to fly, Shale took to the Interloper and dutifully studied everything they could about it, taking careful note of the ghost matter, the ice, and the unreadable Nomai text/tapes. They theorize on where it could have come from and long to know the secrets outside their solar system.

Shale plays the viola in their own small group, comprised of themselves, the protagonist, Schist, Tin, and Bismuth. They have a unique song together that sounds similar to Travelers, but seems more of a second verse to the song rather than an addition to it.

To the hatchling, Shale is kindhearted and gives helpful advice, even if they're a little scatterbrained. They aren't aware of the sun going supernova and the fact that the Interloper is eventually swallowed by it, and hatching could tell them about it for a similar result to giving Chert a crisis. However, the result will be the same: By the time they realize it's going to the sun, it's too late for them to escape the asteroid.

Here's some of the example dialogues I created in my head for them (aka entire conversations). Bold would be the selected dialog option, since I don't think I should cover every idea I had (it'd take a while):

[First Interaction]

Well hey there, hatchling! Glad to see you're finally up in space with the rest of the class. Guess that makes me not the last one, hehe!

>You're not the only one glad about it.

>Well, I can always go back home . . .

Of course you're excited for yourself! I wouldn't expect anything less from you, would I? By the way, did you ever finish getting that translator working? You and Hal had quite the undertaking there!

>Oh, it works!

>It works without exploding, so I'd say that's good.

>More like I did.

Hehe! Hey, I just had a thought! The core of this place has some Nomai tapes in it. There's also a few scattered about, like right in here! You should totally translate them and tell me what they say! I'd love to know.

>Sure can do!

>Maybe . . .

You've gotta tell me what they say!

[Second Interaction]

Hey, hatchling! What do you wanna talk about?

>I found something!

>How can I avoid the ghost matter in the tunnels?

>If the others are in space, where are they?

>Where should I explore here?

>You do realize this place will crash into the sun, right? (<- Only appears after the 1st loop)

Oh, that shouldn't be too hard! Just pull out your signalscope and you'll find them right quick! But . . . I can give you some tips if you don't remember them! Schist said they found some new species they wanted to study on Ash Twin, Bismuth was studying quantum objects in various places, and I believe Tin was grounded for medical reasons.

>What instruments does everyone play again?

>Tin was grounded?

>Alright, thank you!

They sure were! And rightfully so, too! Kept talking about some kind of weird spinning disk they found . . . Personally, I won't believe it until I get some kind of proof it exists.

>Ah. I see.

>And they grounded them for that?

>The Stranger? (<- Only appears if the player has visited The Stranger)

Poor, delusional Tin . . . Though, if whatever they're on about does exist, I wouldn't mind exploring it myself. It's not of hearthian or nomai origin, according to them! It's probably not real, though.

---------------------

>The Stranger?

It's actually real? Wow . . . now I feel kinda bad about being so harsh on Tin. Maybe I can send a message back to Hornfels to have them ungrounded! It'd be amazing to see for myself! I can only eagerly imagine where it came from . . .

---------------------

>I found something!

Really? Tell me about it!

>The Nomai explored this place, just like you're doing now, to try and figure out where it came from.

>Turns out this thing was basically just a pressured chamber of ghost matter a long time ago.

>There's a frozen Nomai ship on the surface!

>Actually, nevermind.

Well, that makes some sense, I suppose . . . but the core's kind of . . . exploded? Not much of anything can be densely packed in there.

>I did say it was a long time ago.

>Exactly. It burst and covered everything in ghost matter.

Uh . . . I don't think I have to say that's not good. What happened to the N- Wait. Oh. Oh no.

>Not exactly the best way to go out.

>Yeah . . .

>Remind me why you're choosing to explore this, then?

Don't get sassy with me, hatchling! I did better than you in all my training, that's why I got to fly first! Besides, it's not this thing can explode twice. As long as I avoid the ghost matter still here, I'm okay. I think.

---------------------

>You do realize this place will crash into the sun, right?

Trust me when I say it won't. Sure, it gets pretty close at times - Close enough to melt the ice to get down here, even! But it won't go directly into the sun. I've been studying it's path since I was a hatchling, just waiting for the day I could get to it.

(Next piece only appears if the previous option was selected and the Interloper is on it's last loop. It replaces the dialogue of the second interaction.)

Hey, is it just me, or are we dangerously close to the sun right now?

>I told you it would crash into the sun!

>It's just you.

WHAT?! Oh, nonononono! No! I've gotta hurry to my ship and get out of here! I don't wanna be burnt to a crisp! Come on, we've gotta move!

>I think we're already too late to leave.

>Don't worry. We're in a time loop.

>But what about your research?

Quick lesson, hatchling: Research is almost never worth your life.

>I think we're already too late to leave.

>Don't worry. We're in a time loop.

Now's not the time for jokes, hatchling! Do I need to have the word sent out for you to be grounded with Tin? You're sounding just like them right now!

If you guys want to hear all my terrible dialogue ideas, maybe they'll get their own separate post with everything. But, for now, moving on!

Schist

Schist is an adult hearthian. While never interested in space, they were interested in the biological processes of the world, and loved learned about the plants and animals in the system. After seeing the baby anglerfish exhibit in the museum, they desperately wanted to study it. Upon learning that meant they needed to be an astronaut, they joined the training with a few younger hearthians.

They had no reason to pass the training as well as they did, nor should they have realistically been allowed to fly given their blatant disregard for space travel itself, but Schist joined the ranks of the travelers with a kalimba as their chosen instrument and immediately set off to learn about the anglerfish.

It's a miracle they never died, given all the bad choices they made around such danger. Through studying from afar (and one instance of creating a distraction), they learned about the creature's blindness but acute hearing. Some other things they've learned about the beasts that they should have absolutely died for is this: They don't respond to being touched on a small scale (such as a hearthian placing their hand on them), they defend their eggs valiantly but not the youth, young anglerfish may hang onto bigger anglerfish as a safe means of transportation or catching loose bits of prey (sometimes they latch onto ships as well, getting confused). There is also a massive anglerfish tooth lodged in their ship that they've simply built/repaired/decorated around since they're not getting it out.

No, Schist doesn't know how they were able to do all of this and not get caught for it. But point is anglerfish are their specialty. However, they also research other creatures and plants (that I made up), and notably, have discovered the concept of gender along with some words for it. Here's a small key:

Moons/Mooners: A female creature. (Based on how they noted the creatures with such reproductive parts were more docile and calmer, like a peaceful night with the moon)

Suns/Starunners: A male creature. (The creatures tended to be flashier, brighter, more aggressive and overall more, like a bright sun)

Schist (for sake of my brain hurt trying to think of something better) does have the pronouns she/her and he/him known, only because of some of the few things they knew about the Nomai (and that they had pronouns).

Schist plays the kalimba in their own small group, comprised of themselves, the protagonist, Shale, Tin, and Bismuth. They have a unique song together that sounds similar to Travelers, but seems more of a second verse to the song rather than an addition to it.

Currently, they reside on Ash Twin, studying a new species of terrestrial creature they discovered. They call it a 'Plated Star', or a 'Shelled Star'. (It's a weird mix of turtle and tortoise, I'll draw it later and explain how it survived the ghost matter explosion) Schist believes it to be last of it's kind, though there could be more hiding from them. Notably, Schist can be brought screenshots of different flora and fauna the player has encountered and try to have them identify the specimen. (A lot of plants and animals I made just for this, this is why I can't learn to mod since my ideas spiral out like this)

Just like Shale, here's some example dialogue!

[First Interaction]

Hm? Oh. Good to see your face around here, I guess. How's it going, anyway? Does your translator work?

>Yeah. You probably don't care, though.

>It does, actually! Want me to show you?

Heh. I mean, you're right about that, at least. Nomai never interested me much. I know that's, like, our entire thing out here, so go ahead and fuss at me if you want. But if you could make, like, an animal translator, that'd be pretty cool . . . I guess.

>Why don't you care about an entire species?

>I mean . . . It'd take forever, but I could make one.

>I'm not going to fuss at you, that's Slate's job.

Pff, dang straight it is! Oh gosh, you were not there the night before my launch, all they talked about was how I should be more focused on history and whatever! Personally, the only history I care about is how creatures like us evolved.

[Second Interaction]

Still here? What, got a question for lil' old me?

>I found something!

>Why aren't you exploring Dark Bramble anymore?

>Can you tell me more about this creature in front of you?

>Why don't you care about the Nomai?

>Where can I explore here?

>I don't, actually. Cya.

Ugh, let me count the reasons why. First of all, I've been exploring it for so long I think I could describe the whole thing to a rock and make it understand. Secondly, anglerfish are cool and all, but I'd like to study something a little less deadly for a while.

>Does this have something to do with that tooth in your ship?

>Am I allowed to call you officially obsessed with those things yet?

>Clearly they weren't that deadly, since you're still alive.

Yeah, actually. Was studying a lil' tiny one when it's moon parent came at me. Think she took a good bite out of the vines, mostly, but her tooth got stuck in my ship. Two teeth for the price of one trip!

>Two?

>How did your ship not break?

Yep! The one in my ship from the big one, and this tiny lucky tooth from the baby! By the way, let me tell you, the babies may be small, but they can still take a good bite into your arm. Keep an eye out if you ever go in there yourself.

----------

>Can you tell me more about this creature in front of you?

Absolutely! I call it a Shelled Star, since, well, it looks kinda like a star when you look at it right, and it's got this really sturdy shell! If you look closely, it even has some very small gills.

>Why would a creature have gills on a desert planet?

>Truly, a creative name you came up with there.

>What does it do?

Hey! Bet you couldn't do much better if I told you to.

>. . . Fine. You win.

>Sandshell.

. . . I like mine better. Do you have any actual questions for me, or are you just going to keep harassing me?

>Why would a creature have gills on a desert planet?

>What does it do?

>That was all.

Well, I suspect Ash Twin may have once had water on it! . . . Somewhere. Bet you this lil fellow's species was once abundant on this planet, but when the water disappeared, so did the Shelled Stars. I think she's the last of her kind.

>How are you sure it's a 'she'?

>Kind of a far-fetched theory, don'tcha think?

>The poor Shelled Stars.

When you study animals as long as I have, you kinda tell the difference between members of the same species. It's got to do with reproduction, and some physical differences, but really, I just mark them into two groups: The Moons, like this one, and the Suns. I wish I could find a sun Shelled Star to meet her and keep their species alive!

>Who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky.

>Sounds kinda lonely, being the last of your kind.

I certainly hope so! Glad you're finally supporting me for once, hatchling.

----------

>I found something!

Really? Like, a plant or an animal or something?

(Option would have the screenshot displayed in the top right corner when hovering over each selection, for now, take placeholder names. Also there's more than this I just dont wanna type everything out)

>Check out this picture! [Anglerfish]

>Check out this picture! [Timber Hearth Trees]

>Check out this picture! [Owlk]

>Check out this picture! [No creature/plant detected]

>Check out this picture! [Picture blurry/too dark to see]

>Well, I guess not.

Wow! An anglerfish! Y'know, this picture seems really sad compared to me having seen them in the flesh. They're so much more imposing and cool that way! Really, I could go on about them for a while.

Got any more?

>Check out this picture! [Timber Hearth Trees]

>Check out this picture! [Owlk]

>Check out this picture! [No creature/plant detected]

>Check out this picture! [Picture blurry/too dark to see]

>Well, I guess not.

I would hope you recognize the cone trees. They're everywhere on Timber Hearth, they're even what your emergency seeds are! Seriously, why am I telling you this? Didn't you pay attention in training?

Got any more?

>Check out this picture! [Owlk]

>Check out this picture! [No creature/plant detected]

>Check out this picture! [Picture blurry/too dark to see]

>Well, I guess not.

Oh wow . . . this is certainly strange. It looks like some mix of . . . well, really, I have no idea what this is. It could be worth further investigating!

Got any more?

>Check out this picture! [No creature/plant detected]

>Check out this picture! [Picture blurry/too dark to see]

>Well, I guess not.

Sorry to break it to you, hatchling, but I don't think this qualifies as a living thing. Kinda cool, though.

Got any more?

>Check out this picture! [Picture blurry/too dark to see]

>Well, I guess not.

I'm begging you, work on your Scout photography skills. I can't tell if this is a cyclone on Giant's Deep or your own hand in the way. Bring me something more legible.

>Well, I guess not.

Then don't waste my time.

[liaromancewriter]

What Could Have Been (7/?)

Series Premise: When Ethan breaks his promise, Cassie is forced to accept they’re not inevitable after all.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angst Words: 1,505

Series Masterlist

Chapter 7: Storms and Safe Harbors. Time to reset the clock and reach a reconciliation.

A/N: Submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge using May challenge prompt "promises." I'm also using @choicesflashfics week 46, prompt 2.

Part 1: Cassie

Part 2: Ethan

The last few weeks had been an emotional roller coaster for Ethan Ramsey. Between resetting his relationship with Cassie Valentine and instantly regretting it, his mother’s return from the void and clashing with his father over it, things started spinning out of control faster than he’d anticipated.

And then he almost Cassie to a freak accident and had to stand back and watch another man take care of her the way he couldn’t or wouldn’t allow himself to.

Ethan wished he could forget everything from the last few months and feel like himself again. He was too old for drama and jealousy, especially when he was the one to end things. Calm and in control. That’s who he was and what he needed to be as Doctor Ramsey.

He loved being a doctor. After completing his fellowship, he made a conscious decision to remain in a teaching hospital. He was more interested in research, but teaching was a requirement of his chosen career path. He could handle it in small doses.

So, when his colleague at the university asked him to fill in at the last minute for a week-long seminar on diagnostic medicine, Ethan agreed before he could think twice about it. It served two purposes — making a serious dent in the hours he was required to teach and getting away from his troubles for a few days.

A win-win situation as far as he was concerned, he thought as he neared Edenbrook around ten o’clock at night.

It had been a long week, and he should have just gone home after the faculty dinner. Instead, he parked his car, hiked across the breezeway connecting the parking structure to the main hospital wing and took the elevator to the seventh floor.

The hallways were quiet and empty, with the strong scent of ammonia in the air. The floors were recently polished, and he figured the nightly janitorial crew was done on this side of the building.

His steps faltered as he approached the Diagnostic Team office. The lights were on, and he spied a familiar blonde head through the glass walls. Cassie was sitting at the round table, flipping through what appeared to be a medical journal and making notes on her iPad. He knew she’d taken his earlier advice to heart about brushing up on research and uncommon diseases.

His time in the Amazon had been an experiment of sorts, and the results were in. Everything was clear, logical and monochrome when he was away from Cassie. Being around her short-circuited his synapses, but the world was more vibrant, a fascinating mystery he could spend a lifetime trying to solve and never come close to unraveling.

If he’d lost her last week. If she’d fallen over the atrium balcony before he could get to her. Before he could tell her…. Ethan shuddered at the what-ifs running through his head.

One person shouldn’t have this much influence over him, he thought. He tapped his access card on the reader outside the door and marched determinedly through the sliding doors.

Cassie looked up, startled, her eyes unfocused. She blinked the fog away, a smile spreading across her lips when she saw him.

“Hey, you’re back!” Cassie exclaimed.

“Observant as always, Valentine,” Ethan drawled sarcastically. “No wonder you got the diagnostics fellowship.”

He cursed internally when his acerbic tone wiped the smile away.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, sincere in his apology.

“About?” she said, watching him warily.

“Why don’t we start with my comment just now?”

“I don’t care about that,” she said neutrally, locking and unlocking her fingers. “Sarcasm is part of your charm. Otherwise, I’d worry you’d been taken over by the pod people.”

“It’s still not appropriate for an attending to speak to a resident that way,” Ethan said, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the desk.

Her wariness returned.

“Will you always remind me of the difference in our status?” she asked, eyes swimming with emotions he couldn’t read.

“Cassie…” he sighed, unsure what she wanted from him. “Attendings are resp —”

“Responsible for the training of residents, neurochemical responses, blah, blah, blah,” she finished dismissively. “I remember what you said, Ethan.”

“I don’t recall saying blah, blah, blah,” he mused absently, but she ignored him.

“After everything that happened this past year, the promises we made to each other, how can you still believe that?”

“Don’t speak to me about promises,” he hissed, the jealousy he’d tamped down rushing viciously to the top.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she said, eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“Want to tell me about the man you’ve been seeing while I was away? The same one you went on a date with last week?”

“How dare you!” she exploded, pushing the chair back as she stood to face him. “I didn’t go on a date with anyone until after you dumped me.”

Cassie advanced on him, angrier than he’d ever seen her.

“I waited for you, even when you stopped responding to my texts and emails. But I still held out hope,” she fumed, stabbing a finger in his chest.

Her green eyes were fired up, and, this time, he had no problems reading her emotions.

“Am I supposed to keep waiting for you? A man who made it clear I’m so beneath him he couldn’t be bothered to let me know he was alive? Is that what you want? That I’ll beg you, again, by the way, to love me the way I love you?”

Ethan felt ashamed, every barb a direct hit to the heart, wounding his pride.

When Cassie poked him again, he flicked her hand away and hauled her up, his mouth descending upon hers. He poured his frustrations and inadequacies into the explosive kiss, forcing her with his lips to understand him, forgive him.

Rising on her tiptoes, her arms circled his neck, and she plastered herself against the front of his body. She moaned when his tongue thrust inside her mouth, the sound setting off a chain reaction he was helpless to stop.

Ethan slid his hands down to her thighs, gripping them tightly before cupping her bottom. He lifted her, never breaking the kiss, and carried her to his desk, caging her between his arms. She parted her legs, welcoming him closer, her feet locked around the back of his thighs.

He renewed his kisses with a hunger that came from within, from months of abstinence, of denying himself what he deserved. He gently but firmly grasped her chin, tilting her head back, and trailed kisses down her throat.

Cassie gripped the fabric of his shirt, her fingers making quick work of the buttons. His own tore at her scrub top, lifting it up and off, wanting to feel her skin. But the knit shirt she wore beneath for warmth got in his way, and he groaned in frustration, ready to tear the offending piece of clothing.

Desperate to have her, he pushed her back so she was half-lying atop his desk. The hurried movement sent pens, papers, keyboard and other paraphernalia crashing to the floor.

The sound was loud in the silence around them, and it had the same effect as a bucket of ice being dumped over their heads. He froze and stared at Cassie.

Shock turned to regret at the thought of being so out of control he’d forgotten where they were. Fumbling like a teenager, pawing at her with rough hands, uncaring who might see them through the glass walls. The gossip could destroy her reputation for life.

He eased his weight off her and nervously ran one hand through his hair.

“I can't keep doing this,” Cassie said, holding back tears, but he saw the disappointment in her eyes loud and clear.

Pushing his arms away, she jumped off the desk and bent down to grab the top he’d dropped on the floor. She quickly tugged it over her head and down, pulling her hair out from the collar.

Feeling uneasy, Ethan reached for her, only for Cassie to slap his hand away and step back.

“Don’t,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself. “I don’t want you to tell me this was a mistake, that it shouldn’t happen, that we can’t ever be. That you regret us. I can’t….”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Ethan heard her silently count to three, and then her eyes snapped open, full of unwavering resolve.

“Cassie, I—”

“I have to go,” she said, and ran out of the office before he could stop her.

Ethan watched her retreating back through the glass walls, not blinking until even her shadow was no longer in sight. He glanced around the office, the cutter on the floor, her iPad on the table and inhaled deeply.

Her scent still lingered in the air, her taste was on his lips, and the feel of her tattooed on his skin.

Cassie was wrong. It wasn’t a mistake, and he had no regrets. Not anymore.

-------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @takemyopenheart @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @hopelessromantic1352 @mrs-ramsey @youlookappropriate

[breelandwalker]

not sure if anyone else has asked this recently but my internet is too slow to do a deep dive in the archives rn so - do you have any advice for avoiding/preventing/dealing with a lot of 'backsnap' from spells? i.e. the wave of exhaustion/general physical and emotional crumminess after doing some heavy work. it's entirely possible that this specific instance i'm experiencing could be allergies or an oncoming cold, but since it hit me right after i spent an evening doing the first serious amount of spell-casting i've expended effort on in months, i'm inclined to connect it at least a little bit. now i'm wondering how best to bounce back or prevent it from hitting so hard in the future (aside from obvious health-boosting things like rest, water, vitamin c, etc). is it just a matter of exercise makes the muscle stronger or should i really not be neglecting to ward up first in my impatience to get to the fun part?

Good question!

This is something I hear about frequently enough that I feel comfortable calling it a common occurrence. Doing heavy, involved, or prolonged spellwork is taxing in the same way that any other task requiring a lot of focus or mental or emotional energy might be. I don't know that there's a way of wholesale avoiding it, per se, but you can mitigate it in a few ways with a little bit of preparation. You've got the right idea here, so allow me to offer just a few additional tips.

Set up your workspace ahead of time and make sure you have all your materials ready to go and within easy reach. Try to eliminate distractions and as many potentials for interruption as you can. The less frustration, distractions, or derailment you have during a casting, the easier it is and the less exhausted you'll be afterward.

Make sure you're rested, hydrated, and not running on empty or heading for a caffeine crash or the tail end of a medication cycle if you take dailies. Take a few minutes to calm yourself and focus on the task at hand before you begin. If you have any preferred grounding and centering techniques, definitely employ those. I've found that just taking a moment to bring myself into the present and sort of zoom in on what I'm doing has helped more than casting extra wards just for the sake of one spell.

If you're feeling ill or overtired or like you're on your last spoon, maybe do your spell another day. I know magical timing is a thing some witches rely upon, but there's almost always a way to spin timing to your benefit, and spellcasting should NEVER take precedence over your health.

Keep in mind, all of this is to MITIGATE the post-casting crash, not prevent it. It's still a good idea to rest afterward, maybe have a snack and hydrate again. Just make sure you clean up anything that needs cleaning, extinguish all fire hazards, and put up any materials that you don't want kids or pets getting into or that might be a trip hazard. (You do NOT want to skip this step and end up cracking a toe on your cauldron the next morning, TRUST ME.)

It does get easier as you go on. There's a reason we call witchcraft a practice - it takes PRACTICE. Doing small-to-medium spells and periodic exercises may help things go more smoothly, since you don't have to think about it as much once you've got the hang of things. (I try to do a little something every day and I have easy charms built into my schedule for this purpose.) Large, involved castings will still wear you out, not much to be done about that.

I have some other tips for battling inspirational slumps and blockages and helpful hints for your spellwork here:

My Intuitive Spark Feels Low - How Do I Get It Back?

I’m In A Slump - How Do I Get Out Of It?

I’ve Reached A Stopping Point - What Do I Do Next?

How Do I Make A Magic Circle For Spellcasting?

What Happens If I Get Interrupted While Casting A Spell?

Do I Need To Maintain Positive Vibes For My Spells To Work?

Hope this helps! 😊

[misfitsandmusings]

Trafalgar Law: Verses, Wishlist, Fave Ships, etc.

♡ Main (Canon): Corresponding with the events of the anime/manga, canon-compliant. Interactions set between Sabaody and Zou preferred (my grasp on Wano is pretty poor because I speed-read the entire manga in two months and I retained very little from most of it. To revisit at a later date.) Open to exploring pre-Sabaody timeline and I love canon-divergent AUs.

♡ Heartverse: "What If" canon-divergent AU built with @climatact, in which: Bellemere lived, Nami became a marine, Law had an extra year with Cora-san as a child and their travels to find a cure for Law brought them to the East where their paths crossed with Bellemere and her two daughters. A chance encounter on an island in the Grand Line years later upends the trajectory of both of their lives. Tagged: ♡ // verse: heartverse ; || Ships: LawNa ♡

Heartverse series of events: during the 2-year timeskip, Law crosses paths with Marine!Nami on an island in the Grand Line (the first time they’ve seen each other since he visited her island when he was 11.) A mutual attraction/curiosity upon their reunion leads to a one-night-turned-two stay in a fancy hotel, a jewelry store heist that results in Nami leaving her unfulfilling career behind to join his pirate crew, and an unexpected addition to their lives. Following Law’s appointment as a Shichibukai, the two head back to her home in the East until baby Cora-chan makes her appearance. She’s later left in the care of Nojiko and Bellemere while the two travel to Punk Hazard. After the run-in with the Straw Hats, Nami still ends up joining as their navigator and the two, although married, sail on in pursuit of their individual goals.

♡ Tangerine Trysts: A spin-off of a spin-off; another take on Heartverse in which Law and Nami's initial background (meeting as kids, Bellemere living, Nami becoming a marine) stays the same but Law and Nami run into each other on Sabaody, again at Marineford, and carry on an relationship of sorts while she remains a marine. || Ships: LawNa ♡

♡ Currently Untitled Godverse: AU built with @climatact based on a shared appreciation for the tale of Hades & Persephone, ft. Law as the god of the Underworld and Nami as a mortal living in some of the hardest times the mortal realm has ever seen. Tagged: ♡ // godverse tbt ; || Ships: LawNa ♡

♡ Godverse Spin-off: the “closer to the actual tale of Hades and Persephone but still not quite” take. In which a god takes a liking to the pretty mortal woman he met when business brought him to the mortal realm. || Ships: LawNa

Working On (or would like to explore): a BSD verse, maaaaybe a Demon Slayer verse!

Haven't worked out the details yet but I'd love to explore a "Cora-san lived" AU where Law did not hand over Rosinante's message to THE ONE marine he should not have. (FU Vergo.)

Have also been toying with something where Law, possibly in a modern verse or maybe some fantasy/non-OP setting, actually dabbles in trading hearts for a business; i.e. he'll grant a wish but the price is your heart.

Law Wishlist / Ship Stuff:

Opportunities for him to treat/tend to people - scenarios where even if it's not someone he particularly likes, they need advice or medical attention and he's the only one around to provide it.

Middle of the night interactions since Law's sleeping patterns are abysmal. One or both muses waking up from a nightmare? Lots on their mind? Enjoying the quiet?

As much as I love angst and drama and traumatized characters, Law could use some happy times, so I'm always up for exploring what-ifs where any of his lost loved ones survived.

Ships: My favorite Law ship is Law x Nami. I'm always down to write it, but will not force it on any Namis of course. Other ships I'm intrigued by include Law x Zoro, Law x Robin, and Law x Luffy (I generally see Luffy as an aro/ace icon BUT this is literally the only ship I see potential for for him). However, just because something isn't listed here doesn't mean I won't entertain it. I'm basically shipping trash, although I tend not to to ship him with any of his crewmates and will not ship him with Mingo or Cora-san.

Mandatory disclaimer that I love, love, love AUs - if you'd ever be interested in working on one together, whether it's based on a canon-divergent 'what if?' or an entirely new world/story, SHOUT AT ME ABOUT IT. I also love finding ways to interact in each other's verses, so if you have a verses page I'll definitely check it out -- and if you're interested at all in hopping into one of mine, just let me know!

Have an idea for your verse you want to play out? Tell me about it!

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Mind games

Summary: Nina woke up in the hospital after the attack, she has a secret visitor. Also we learn some about Nina’s past relationship with Felix and we learn about her motives for the future.

Pairing: Darth Maul x OC Nina Cerasus

Warnings: Mention of attack, violence, wounds, medication, hospital, mind control, mental health, anxiety, mutual pining, idiots in love, angst, multiple pow, (Let me know if I left out something.) Minors DNI!

Sentences in italics is an inner monologue, a thought.

AN: This fic means a lot to me and I worked on it a lot. If you have any advice or comments, please share them with me kindly. I'm posting for the first time in years and I don't want nasty comments to discourage me from posting again. Remember it’s a slow burn! If you don't like it, please go to another blog. I did my best to translate it, so pls forgive me, English is not my first language.

Also huge thank you for lovely @hellhound5925 to beta reading it and help me arrange my messy mind.💖💖

Please enjoy reading!

previous chapter

divider by the lovely Saradika

Nina woke up in the hospital, her head hurt as if someone was trying to pull her brain out through her nose. Her mouth was dry, and tasted like ash. Everything moved quickly around her, as if every object and person had loosened the boundaries that made them solid and their form became fluid for her. Everything seemed like an endless blur of lights, shadows and colors. The stimulus was overwhelming. 

She tried to sit up, but her body wouldn't obey, machines were buzzing around her, and Nina was extremely thirsty. 

She felt a gentle touch, and some kind of thick yet soft material, maybe leather from a glove.

Someone helped her she understood, when they put the rim of the cool glass to her lips, she opened up and began to drink the water greedily, but that someone stopped her.

 "Slowly!" she heard the monition. 

It was a male's voice, she decided she liked it. It was like a whisper of darkness surrounding her. Nevertheless she felt it comforting.

She restrained herself with self-control and slowly sipped the water, she could almost feel the liquid being absorbed by her cells and she felt much better.

When Nina opened her eyes, the only thing that wasn’t blurry or spinning was something glooming. Shining golden and pulsating like fire, like twin suns, and she couldn't look away.

This pair of eyes became her focal point, which anchored her gaze and helped the spots and blurry recondense into shapes and make sense. It grounded her. 

In addition, Nina felt something else, the pain in her body began to dull a little, she felt a soft and gentle vibration around her that calmed her down, and slowly her consciousness began to sharpen. It was so feather light that she thought she only imagined that. Memories came back quickly like scenes from a holomovie. She fell down on the university’s stairs! The bounty hunter who attacked her.

She slowly remembered everything, it made her headache worse but at least she was safe now. She tried to force a smile, but wasn’t sure it broke on her face. She felt pain, a shame that she let this happen to her, then she started to drink in her surroundings: a hospital room, a bed and a little nightstand, and a lamp.

Time slowed into one endless beat, it was slightly painful which he doesn't understand why. He wasn’t the one injured lying on a bed looking pitifully weak. He felt anger boiling his thoughts through his veins. 

How did she get injured? Was someone involved? Seeing the marks on her throat and the wound on her head made him restless. He wanted to break every piece of furniture in the room, and shake the hospital walls. Yet, as always he kept calm and collected.  

Before he let his feelings wash over himself, he exhaled a breath he didn’t notice holding in. 

“Focus!”

She started to wake up, from her dreamless sleep. This wasn’t the time to draw attention to his selfish raging anger and disobey his Master by causing a scene. 

He focused on Nina’s awakening form instead. He casted out his presence with the Force like shadow beams, felt the young woman's mental protective wall, which this time was neither strong nor resistant. He slipped easily in her mind.

 Stars! It was a mess there. Nina must have had a concussion, because in the confusing cavalcade of information and memories, Maul couldn't make any sense. Nevertheless he gently nudged her memory threads to sort themselves out and show him the events and information he was curious about. It didn't work, her body was too weak. He would check her ABC results (airway, breathing and circulation) but this kind of information was with the medical droid which wasn’t in the room. 

He only sensed her pain and her thirst. Risking that the doctor might come in, Maul stepped forward from the dark corner and helped Nina to drink some water. He almost laughed when he saw how eagerly Nina gulped down the offered liquid. It was obvious that she was not used to such cases, like being in danger. Many moons ago, Maul learned as a little boy that he can't drink a lot so quickly, his body can't handle the pace and it ends up leading to dehydration caused by vomiting, which only worsens the situation of his already damaged body.

"Slowly." he said softly and felt warmth when he noticed that Nina actually listens to the advice and calms down when he hears her calm breathing.

He looked at her suspiciously. One injury didn't change the fact that he still thinks she might be some sort of test for him, but in some twisted way he felt slightly relieved when he looked at her. 

“She is fine.” 

He continued to try telepathy, but he only felt pain in the girl, mentally as well, but this was now surpassed by the pain of the physical body. Methodically and carefully, he manipulated the Force so that it swept over Nina like a warm gentle wave, soothing her. He also treated the pain-sensing center in her mind, so her pain began to dull even if she was not cured immediately. He was so close to her, in her mind, that he sensed and felt her sigh of relief almost as his own, as if the air was flowing through his own nose and lungs, he could feel her pain and cells vibrate under the influence of the Force he manipulated.

As a telepath, Maul had felt others this close before and had to practice a fair amount, so that neither the subject nor his own consciousness would be harmed. It was a difficult process requiring caution and precision, which he learned under his Master's training. But this was the first time that someone's proximity did not make him feel disgusted or disdainful. Nina was different, not suffocating like the others, connecting with her consciousness was a different feeling, airy, fresh and spacious in a metaphorical sense. It was like looking up to the sky on a starry night.

When they eyes met, he felt the memories clearing in her confused mind slowly. She used him as a focus point, to drag her mind back in order by adjusting and ranking the memories to the present time. Some of them he could catch and saw but only bits and pieces. It was not enough yet it has to be enough for now. 

He wanted to say something but he noticed that someone was coming, so he disappeared through the window while hearing the doctor's greeting voice. He had taken fragments from her memory he needed to anyalize.

“Do you remember what happened Miss?”

“I fell down the stairs in front of my Univercity school,”she said quietly, looking out the open window. The medical droid closed it and the doctor asked another question. 

“How many stairs were there?”

“I’m not sure, maybe between one and two dozen?”

“You hit your head Miss. We had to stitch up the wound, it will heal but it will scar under the hairline. Other than that we only censored a few bigger bruises on your upper body. These will be uncomfortable for a couple of weeks but will fade over time.”

“Okay.” she nodded. 

“Are you hurting anywhere in particular right now Miss?”

The question hung in the room while Nina thought through the answer. 

“My head, my shoulder and lower back.” she spoke after.

“Any kind of pain in the neck?” the doctor felt along her C spine notice that she did flinch or not. He felt relieved when she didn’t flinch nor mention pain.

“Are you taking medications Miss? I see on your file that you have a heart disease?”

“It is correct. I have to take my daily meds like blood thinner,beta blocker and some for blood pressure. It’s in my file.”

“I see. I will consult with your doctor when he arrives about your painkillers. It will be calculated and be available for you by the end of my daily shift.

“I have to ask a few questions. Is there any chance you’re pregnant?” 

“No.”

“Any kind of alcohol or drug use besides the heart medications?”

“No.”

“Your CT scan results will arrive soon. But I’m gonna have to ask about your other injury. The one that is on your neck.”

Nina suddenly raised her right hand to her neck and felt the damaged skin as the medical assistant droid held a mirror towards her in response to her questioning look.

She had to explain this somehow, but it was going to be difficult, because the bruises were perfectly visible fingerprints around her throat, a purplish-red that was ridiculously bright against her pale skin tone, mocking her.

“You are weak!” they made her feel this line in her mind. “No I’m not!” she wanted to shout back. 

She knew what the hired bounty hunter wanted. The drive that had all the information from Felix's holopad. She stole it. She had this plan for weeks by now. Everything planned out details and possible outcomes as well. 

What should she say to the doctor? That weeks ago she paid a guy to hack into Nigel's home droids programming them to spy? That her savings went to sponsoring this mission? She waited patiently until her father appeared. and she intentionally arranged the meeting with her father while holding the holopad? Well, rather not.

In the end, she provided the simplest explanation and used the “I got injured so I can’t remember cards.”

"The bounty hunter attacked me. He wanted to rob me.... My bag.. he wanted my bag."

"This makes sense because more robberies were reported in several places since they lifted the prices." the doctor hummed. "Do you want to file a report?"

“It all happened so fast. He attacked me and when I twisted his arm we both rolled down the stairs. I didn't even see his face clearly. But he wasn't human and he wasn't gungan."

"Luckily, you escaped, Miss. However, I recommend rest and have peace for a few days until the headache goes away due to the concussion. I called your school so you have a few days covered to rest. If you feel nauseous or the pain gets worse, please come to the hospital immediately."

"Have you told my grandmother yet? I don't want to upset her." Nina asked as she tried to stand up, it was not so graceful.

"So you don't remember everything.. Miss, you came into the hospital alone, in a state of shock, a taxi driver escorted you in. Your grandmother was the nurse on duty before you fainted again. She wanted to accompany you to all the tests and rushed all the results. She didn’t want to leave your side, but I told her you need a calm atmosphere. She sent me a look that gave me chills. Woah if looks could kill I’d be dead already.”

"Well, that sounds like her." Nina smiled.

The hospital visit exhausted her; it was a blur of examinations and tests. Apparently she had a mild concussion, some nasty bruises and a cut on her head but she still thought she was lucky. This all explained the slight throbbing in her head, besides that she felt tired, and didn’t want to go to her dorm room, and answer Polina’s questions. 

She felt better, but not strong enough for Polina's interrogation. Nevertheless she called for her to escort her home. 

Nina signed everything the doctor showed her on his holopad, and felt relieved when she left the building. She filled her lungs with fresh afternoon air, feeling the oxygen fill the lobes of her lungs. It was a relief shaking off the hospital’s aura and that usual smell. 

Polina had a worrying look on her face that she managed to hide but failed. Nina only signaled her with a slight nod, that she feels okay. Polina had already reserved a taxi and opened the door to Nina.

When they were all settled Nina rested her head on Polina's shoulder while her friend played with the bracelets on her wrist. Various mineral pearls, polished to a spherical shape, clattered to each other. Pale pink quartz, honey-colored citrine and dark purple amethyst were meant to contribute to today's success.

Polina believed in these in "crystal magic" and they affect on the body. So she bought them for Nina long before the exam period started.

“To help your mind focus, protect you from jealous eyes, and shower you in success.” she said when she gave her the gift in a sparkly bag. 

Nina believed in manifestation as long as it was supported by hard work.

But it crossed her mind that maybe she would be lucky today with her little mission, so to ensure this, she slipped them on her wrist in the morning. She was amazed that only a few pearls cracked and broke after the attack. What a shame, she frowned, she will need to replace the broken beads. The journey passed silently and quickly. All Nina wanted was a hot shower, tea and some quiet time with the drive, which was hidden in the star pendant on one of her bracelets.

Polina made sure that she showered safely, and always asked if she needed anything. Nina was grateful but felt so overwhelmed by the day. 

“Could you please bring us some dinner from that place we like? I need something spicy and warm, and also some sour vegetables.” she asked. 

“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Polina said while she put hot steaming tea in front of her friend.

“I’ll be fine. I have my device, so I can comm you anytime if I feel bad. I plan to take a nap, and I don’t want you to look while I sleep.”

Polina, like all good friends, sensed that Nina wanted solitude. Reluctantly, she finally agreed to bring some delicacies for the three of them for dinner. Grandma will also be happy that she doesn't have to worry about cooking after a long work shift.

Nina slipped on comfortable clothes and sighed. She couldn’t stop replaying the hospital events in her mind. Both from her account with her father and the attack. And also after that… Did Maul was there? He visited her? Or was it just a vivid dream? If he was there, then why?

However, before she could get an answer to her questions, she realized she had more important matters. 

She took out the small flash drive gadget that was supposed to contain any incriminating evidence of her father Felix's activities. 

He must have known that lately Felix has made serious progress both in the ranking at work and in the public life of the wealthy elite. 

Felix methodically and carefully stepped up the ranks, but due to the shortness of time, he still seemed suspicious, at least to Nina and a few other journalists.

Nina's plan was to sneak in and get some incriminating information from Felix. Then she delivers this anonymously to one of the journalists (who would write the most promising exposé article) and boom! Felix's reputation would be ruined, and as a result, he would lose his credibility, both in his beloved public life and at work.

Nina knew that she would not kill this "beast" with her little jab. But for now, it would have been enough satisfaction for her until she went on to a higher career as a successful lawyer. Then she would have more resources and opportunities to attack and finally destroy her father permanently.

Nina flexed her tense shoulder muscles and took one of the holo-images in her hand. There were three people on it. Her mom, she and Felix. When they were still a family. They are united and healthy.

"Look what your little comet has become, father. To your sworn enemy. He won't even see me coming after him." she smiled mockingly.

Suddenly, a red light indicated the denial of access to the information. Nina sweared out loud. But she decided she wouldn’t let this opportunity slide from her fingers when she had gone so far on her plan. She dialed with her comlink instead. 

"I need your hacking knowledge again." she said without greeting.

"It will cost twice as much, " was the reply.

"I don't have that much credit."

"I heard you're smart one. I have a few assignments to write by the end of next week so I won't fail this semester. Will it work if someone would help write them to me?"

"Deal."

Nina inherited many external features from her father. Their chins and dark richly textured hair and olive skin were of the same tone. Felix's eyes, however, played a slightly darker shade of green and glittered artificially. Nina also inherited his love for music, his curiosity about the stars and celestial bodies of the universe, and something else.

Nina was talented in building relationships that fit her purpose and using them at the right times. Although Nina hated these analogies, she still benefited from them, if only for the irony of the situation. How sweet the revenge will be, crushing Felix to the ground by turning his own tools against him. Nina felt no regret. Felix let them down, forgetting his former life. In exchange for money and fame. Because of this, Nina's mother's health only got worse and eventually completely consumed her. This was a forgivable offense in Nina's eyes. No mercy.

As she was wondering, she didn't notice that she had walked out of her home all the way to the end of the garden, where the stone bridge connecting the forest already stood. Her gaze flicked up to the landscape. She had a perfect view of the sky and the water below, which was no longer human territory, gungan land was there. The brilliant night glittered upon her mesmerizingly with one full moon, one third quarter and one waning gibbous. The celestial bodies' rays reflected so lovely, the water almost merged with the sky creating an endless sea of stars. Outside the darkness was absolute. 

Then she felt something. At first she thought it was a side effect of her head injury, but it was something else. As if dark claws were trying to enter her consciousness.

The touch was soft and barely perceptible, but it was definitely probing. The feeling was familiar, she felt the same in the hospital when she woke up. Light excitement flickered in her chest. It has to be him.

But why is he trying to push through the boundaries of her mind? This annoyed her. No one has the right to rummage through her mind. Especially today, when she was already injured and her attackers took power over her physical body, no one has the right to enter her soul. She still didn't had time to process today's trauma nor her achievements on her revenge plan. She started to feel overwhelmed, it all started to feel too much. Almost suffocating. She didn't had patience nor self control over her emotions that were started to bubbled inside her like hot lava, like a volcano waiting to erupt.

“Get out of my head if you can’t face me in person!” she told the darkness behind her.

next chapter

Taglist: @stardustbee @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

Let me know if you want to be added 💖

[auroragoth]

Focus on two lifestyle counselling agencies

Whether true midlife crisis or simple want to change career paths, lifestyle changes have been more and more popular in the past years, attracting sims from all walks of life. From getting into a new hobby to turning over their life completely, more and more sims are looking to give more meaning to their lives and find their true calling. Agencies centering on these lifestyles changes have flourished over the years, gaining more and more popularity and reaching sims all across the nation.

Focus on two of these agencies, Postcard Legacy Enterprise and Dun&Don Corp.

Postcard Legacy Enterprise was founded just over a year ago but has become extremely popular thanks to the wide variety of services they offer. They specialise in complete lifestyle changes, helping sims turning their life around and finding the career and life they truly want to live through in-depth counselling and step-by-step teachings tailored to each individual. They are also partnered up with various companies to facilitate job inclusion as well as help with creating new companies and growing a significant clientele to build a lasting business.

Their approach centers on setting clear life goals their clients want to achieve, then giving them the means to accomplish them. Sims can sign up to classes or simply ask to meet with some of the agency's coaches, each specialised in different topics to provide the best advice for each situation. They also offer access to judicial and financial counselling to assist with administrative issues.  

This extremely personalised guidance is what seduced all lot of sims already and explains the rapid growth of the Postcard Legacy Enterprise, as exemplified by Mariah, their most recent customer, who accepted to give us a small testimonial of her experience with the company:

 "Thanks to Postcard Legacy Enterprise, I moved out to the island of my dreams and found the life I'd always yearn for. I even found the love of my life and we had a kid together! All of this wouldn't have been possible without their coaching, I'm eternally grateful for what they helped me accomplish!"

Up and coming new agency Dun&Don Corp. specialises in fantasy themes to give their clients' life a whimsical spin. They offer a lot of different classes to perfect a various range of crafts, from gardening and cooking to more specialised ones like space engineering. Their team of counsellors are trained to assist everyone no matter their difficulties, some of them even specialised in psychology to better understand sims who come to them and find the best answers to their problems. They are aiming to be accessible to anyone who needs them, accommodating sims from all backgrounds and abilities, no matter their social status or financial situation.

The agency is slowly gaining fame, and hopes to convince more sims to add a little magic to their lives through their personalised services. Attests to this the testimony of Dr. Tatiana Bjergsen-Blue:

"Dun&Don Corp. has helped me find a way to deal with the stress induced by working in the medical field and taking care of a large family. Their coach found the right hobby for me to focus on to recenter myself and reach inner peace! Now balancing a challenging work life and a home of five children isn't as taxing as it used to be."

More information on what these two agencies offer are available online on their websites, and their customer services are available everyday of the week for a better follow-up and an improved experience.

These two agencies are just a small sample of what can be found out there, and new lifestyle companies are created on the daily, making it easy for anyone to find the one they feel more in line with. Other examples of well known agencies include NotSoBerry Ltd. or the Decades Legacy Office, two of the most famous and praised ones you could find. With all these choices available, no doubt that you will find the one for you if you ever need it!

Mariah, Lorenzo & Darien by @wrixie | Picture by @wrixie

Tatiana Bjergesen-Blue by @auroragoth | Picture by @auroragoth

Postcard Legacy Challenge by @sojuteatime​

Dungeons & Dragons Legacy Challenge by @demonicrosebushsims​

Text by @auroragoth​ | Mariah’s testimonial by @wrixie​

Thank you Wrixie, Dette, Andrea and Jalf for your participation 💚

[eyelinerda3euro]

i fucked up every single possible thing that I had planned for this week: shooting the animation, printing my flipbook. I wrote down the wrong days on my calendar, and misunderstood some emails for the booking of the equipments. I think that I REALLY have an attention deficit that is making my life impossible, like when I read I miss pieces of information or I have a completely twisted reading of the information because my mind spins around a lot, or I forget things constantly. I don’t think I have a neuro divergence in the classical term but being exposed constantly to information overload made my brain really fragile when it comes to really putting attention in mails, texts and “boring” things. I deleted instagram also because of this, because I am so distracted, and I have always been kind of distracted and confused as a child but being a distracted and confused adult is very absurd! I want medical advice at this point because it has become so pervasive that my life is impossible. I am of course still printing my book and do my animation but I feel like I will never be a good artist if I can’t learn a little bit of discipline too. Escaping fantasies are basically what keeps me alive and what motivates me to do art but at the same time I really need to be more present and connected to my everyday life, I can’t live so much in my head. Also I feel very ill today, my head hurts, my throat is sore, my body feels weak. I am watching hunter x hunter in the school sofa but I really wish I could be in my boyfriend’s arms and having my hair gently caressed till I fall asleep. even if when things like this happens I feel such a disappointment and a mess and a disaster and I don’t understand how come that people have so much patience with me. i don’t deserve that

[asklunarkitty]

Any advice from the spirits for me on how to better deal with my own demands? I'm an artist but I can't feel good about anything I produce, because I feel like it's wrong and shameful that my art isn't good enough (even though I'm in therapy and taking medication, this feeling doesn't go away) :/

Hello! Let’s get some advice for you. Here’s what I pulled:

1. Five of wands

2. Ten of wands reversed

3. Ace of cups

Wands. Fire, creativity, passion and motivation. These are the things you seem to having issues with. That, and imposter syndrome. The competition is fierce out there, and you don’t think you can make a mark.

Now is the time to start psyching yourself up. You can use that competition to help you succeed. Look at what others are doing, yes, but do not compare. Instead, figure out how you can put your own unique spin on things. You have a style that is your own, and no one can match that. Use that to your advantage.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, either. A mentor, a colleague, even a teacher. They can give you insight as well on how to improve and make yourself more marketable.

Finally, look for inspiration everywhere. You never know when it’s going to hit. Always be observing and aware of the beauty around you. The inspiration will come, and it will lead to something pretty amazing.

Do with this reading what you will. Blessed be!

[chibiko]

hey there, bossman!! again, congrats on the new job and on everything coming together for you-- i know it's been a kind of rough last few weeks and it sounds like things are finally looking up ;3 your answer to the last question and your music recommendations were both amazing as always and, silly as it may sound, it made me happy to see you getting excited for your future, y'know? <3 your question for the evening is: what message would you give your fifteen-year-old self? - ka

i know we've been chatting on discord but hello here as well!! its not silly at all that my last answer made you happy, i enjoyed writing it & it made me happy too! your rec for the night will have to be silver platters by les gold<3

15 year old me... what a sweet, naive child he was.. i would have a lot of advice to give to him, whether he'd listen or not. some of that advice definitely includes.. gender isn't as deep as you worry it is. neither is sexuality. people are going to judge you no matter what you do, so have fun & be yourself. life is easier that way! school isn't very serious so take it a bit easier, be a bit more of a troublemaker. medication can and will change your life for the better, your paranoia & delusions won't fuel you forever. friends come and go & you'll lose a lot of people - that's okay. the most important ones will stay. there's all types of love in the world and its what makes the earth spin. enjoy being a teenager more, there's nothing to be afraid of if you put on your favorite outfit and go out into the world. be kinder to your sisters. the world isn't going to end anytime soon, you're allowed to relax & have fun. don't be so chronically online. youre going to turn out to be everything you dreamed of and more.

[doobnnoob-tf2]

Sitting with this ask open until I can think of something to ask you because I love your takes.

OKAYOKAY uh. I always imagined Spy and Pauling being total girlfriends [/p], like they shop together and gossip about everyone and get coffee or get their nails done. What do you think? Also i’m new, so you can call me Ink :]. I use any pronouns including neos but she/her so go wild :D

gasp!  a new challenger.. welcome to the team, Ink!  you share the same name as my favorite band (well acronym!), I already like you.  and I, too, am a fellow enjoyer of Pauling and Spy being besties

Spy despite playing himself off as a super suave, cool guy is a sucker for gossip; both hearing AND telling.  he gossips with Medic and Sniper weekly and he absoLUTELY will gossip with Pauling too over a bottle of wine

Spy’s the only one who knows Pauling is a lesbian, and he often teases her about her choice in women.  but it’s okay because she teases him about his choice in men (I headcanon him either as bi or gay)

Pauling usually picks Spy for “special missions”, which always turns out to be him following her around when she goes on dates to make sure things are going well because she’s never sure if they really are or not

Spy is extremely protective over Pauling.  she’s his friend, but also her being in danger or being upset triggers his Dad Mode.  she’s almost like a daughter to him more than anything.  if anything happens to her, he will destroy everyone in this room

they joke a lot about Scout’s crush on her, and they have an ongoing bet on when he’ll finally realize she doesn’t swing that way.  Pauling says never, Spy thinks it’ll eventually click

Pauling, like Scout, comes to Spy for advice a fair bit.  whether it be calls just so she can vent about something while she’s doing a job, or taking him on missions with her because she needs someone physically there for her

Spy hates how much she works, he respects that she’s just very work-driven and prefers to be doing something at all times but he doesn’t like it.  he thinks that she should have more time off for all the work she single-handedly does for this company

Pauling is a nail-biter and Spy keeps taking her to a nail salon to try and get something on them to deter her from doing that.  it always ends up in Spy getting a manicure and Pauling just spinning in a chair next to him, ranting about her day

Pauling drunkenly told Spy once that she thinks Scout’s Ma is hot but she has no memory of that night and he doesn’t plan on ever thinking about it again himself, thank you

Spy takes her shopping when he gets the chances to, he knows she won’t go otherwise and it gives them time to hang out that isn’t work-related.  she’ll follow him around and talk while he picks out things for her to try on in the dressing room

a lot of their friendship is Pauling talking 90% of the time because she doesn’t have anyone else she can talk to and Spy just listening while they do things together.  she’ll talk about anything; venting about something, to mundane everyday stuff, to just nothing in general she just wants to talk because it’s been days since she’s seen another living person

[pastelpaperplanes]

Big Ol Ask Post Pt. 3 I think

I haven’t drawn anything other than cursed or plain technical stuff w him 😔😔 have these for now but expect more soon!

anon a way back asked what he’d look like next to Overlord being already so big compared to Megs, that’s why you see Lordie if you’re wondering why he’s thrown in that line up!

by the way I have a voice claim for the big purple simp— Jenner from NIMH, he’s so awful but that suave baritone oh it fits too well >:] it’s the ‘humble servant’ line that got to me

Yep! Pharma is absolutely in this AU—as well as the CFau and Crack one too—and in all, he’s still an estranged medic long since booted from any legal work back on Cybertron.

He lost his credibility and more all those years ago when he found himself willing to do his fair share of cutting corners and hastily concealed malpractice to expedite his dream of getting his name down in the medical books—ultimately impressing his dear Mentor Ratchet, finally, in perfecting long-since banned risky experiments and surgeries—not to mention cruel and unusual temperament with the (supposedly) taboo practice of non-medicinal mnemosurgery.

His ambitions and aggression always got the bet of him, this hasn’t changed since he found himself working in freelance outposts. Light years away from Cybertron, he’s made a name for himself as a Good Doctor—but to his under-the-table black market part-dealing clients, he’s just about as bad as a Crooked Medic can get.

Bounty hunters and Arms Dealers like him for his business, a certain DJD member likes him for the occasional berth company and seemingly never ending supply of fresh T-Cogs—but no one actually likes him for his nasty temperamental personality, save for a young and naive Ratchet once upon a time.

Pharma is a roamer, as of recent he’s been a hard to reach mech—seems as if he’s found a little project to keep himself pretty occupied in the last few decades—something about a breakthrough for aiding the Decepticon Energon Crisis :] him and a small, horrifyingly cheerful surgeon are well on their way to completing their first trial batches, it’s safe to say that their little synthetic mixture will have it’s users sated and compliant.

they’ve got that amazing ‘new car smell’ those first few weeks, and instead of chittering like an Insecticons or vibrating their wings like a seeker—they beep and squeak, sometimes even honk a horn depending on the baseline altmode coding, to get their Creators’ attention before their vocalizer truly starts to kick online

It’s cute, but loud

Much like a seeker sparkling, they have to reach a certain ‘age’ (upgrade) to be able to transform completely, in between then they’re still able to rev those engines as a warning should they need it, as well as spin their wheels should they need a getaway HEELIES IF THEYRE LUCKY WOOHOOOOO—for seekers they can hover on their thrusters!

Crusade is actually pretty formal with Megatron. But yeah as a kid, Megs was always known as Carrier, but as Sadie got older and more aware of their surroundings—they definitely came to learn the true weight of that title and the fact that they were the progeny of the faction leader, a fact they should have really held onto with more pride. Not wanting to draw more attention to the already blatant favoritism (and nepotism) Crusade made a switch to addressing Megatron as Sir, My Lord, Lord Megatron, —ect. to better fit in with their fellow troops.

It bothers Megatron more than than he lets on. Crusade shouldn’t have to hide their high ranking as his child, the heir to the faction. Megs is their Carrier and can only order them around for so long, as their Leader however—pulling rank may just allow for their infuriatingly stubborn sparkling to listen to them should a day come where even a Carrier’s plea is dismissed.

Crusade does slip up every now and then and a ‘Carrier’ will slip—often hushed and annoyed though as Megs does like to tease every now and then, gotta remind them that they’re still his baby every once in a while :’)

Optimus however—whenever him and Crusade should truly reunite, will never be called Sire by Crusade, which they so heatedly established early on—Crusade never needed one and they don’t need one now, better to not let the title trigger those long-suppressed emotions. Sure enough though Optimus will get his moment.

actually no lmfao so you’re good! Eh, I haven’t mentioned much plot w them outside of them and Megs, plus bits of potential interactions with Optimus—so the rest of Team Prime is free game :D

For what I (hopefully will have) planned, their interactions with team Prime will be eh,,,interesting to each their own to say the least. Some more stressful than others BUT let’s not get into that until I’ve worked it out—for now I’ll just mention what they’re dynamics would be like when the drama of Oh Shit Boss Bot You’ve Been Hiding a Kid For HOW LONG has died down.

A usually touch-wary Crusade actually is the one to initiate a hug with Bulkhead, he’s the biggest and warmest and somehow is always happy to see them. Plus he tells cool recaps of Earth films and gifts them strange blobish paintings every now and then, all of which Crusade doesn’t exactly understand, but at least the colors are pretty.

Bee is annoying,,,which is what Crusade would say if confronted if they actually liked all the shenanigans Bee suggest they pull together, prank wars to the max, sparring for fun, video games?, DOUGHNUTS and RACES in the fortress halls??? Ahem. they are a super serious soldier, not a hooligan. But honestly, Bee is the one they seek out the most should they need an adventure, they missed out on a lot of this ‘fun’ growing up on the Nemesis—Bee seems to know how to balance a day of soldiering and dumbassery. sometimes.

Ratchet reminds them a bit too much of their Carrier than they’d care to admit. The medic is an old soul to his very core, perpetually tired but quick to snap into work mode, and sweet if you reallllllly squint. Sadie has been taught from day one to always respect medics, Ratchet obviously takes the cake on I’ve Seen Some Shit and for that alone Crusade both fears and admires Ratchet. Again, growing up on the Nemesis they didn’t have too many bots willing to talk much with them—but Ratchet (after he’s gone through his own lot of therapy, him AND Arcee. good lord) has a never ending pile of stories to share with them. Ratchet may throw in a few more colorful curses than necessary—which is SURPRISING bc Crusade thought they’d heard them all back home, but he’s entertaining and tells Crusade how it is, no sugarcoating. For that Crusade is grateful, there’s been too many half-truths thrown about to them in their recent years :’)

Ghost Prowl freaks them out—why does he deliberately have to be so sneaky?? Crusade has only met Prowl a fleeting handful of times (visits from the Allspark come with meaning, you know) and each time Crusade has been given nothing but odd riddles and poetic nonsense. Kidding. Prowl does like his wordplay’s but his given advice is always well meaning—the most firm and direct message Crusade has been passed though was probably most definitely “ Get those two cowards for mecha you call your Creator’s to stop fooling around with each other and SPEAK—at this rate it’s physically paining me that they haven’t begun Ritus and they’re not getting any younger”

Team Prime adores Sadie, they ask Megatron to see their sparkling photos every chance they catch him. And Crusade. hates it.

:) have

We’ve been here before, haven’t we?