#my bad attempt at comedy i need sleeeeeep

[txintedsorrow]

Fever Adventures.

Blue eyes blinked tiredly as he tried to read the report Tachihara had given him for the last mission. Everything was starting to get blurry, Chuuya glared at the empty cup of coffee that sat on his desk along with a mountain of papers, he needed to take care of. Why did he have to do damn’s Dazai’s paperwork too?! The annoying voice of his partner reached his ears and he could feel his right hand turning into a fist.

“We are partners, so we have to help each other, right?~ So Chuuya, if you dont want to say bye bye to your wine cellar in your apartment, help me out with those~” 

He barely didn’t break the cup he was holding from annoyance, he stood up and everything seemed to shift.

‘Huh...what the hell.’ he wondered to himself as he went to refill his cup, every step seemed like an achievement, what was going on? He felt like shit, not like when Dazai teased the hell out of him nor how he felt like after a long mission, he felt..like he would pass out at any moment. His ears buzzed and his legs started protesting. His hand twitched and he glared at it with all the strength he had, before he stumbled, he wouldn’t use his ability for something stupid like that! He was...stronger than...that. 

Suddenly everything blurred and he barely managed to hold onto the edge of the desk. Fuck, this was not good..was it a drug from the previous mission? Were those guys more sneaky than they had imagine- sadly Chuuya didn’t have the opportunity to ponder more on this matter as his conciousness slipped away,

-

Dazai hummed to himself as he returned back to the base after a nice reunion with Ango and Odasaku back at Bar Lupin, frankly it had made his mood! It had been several months since he had been able to see them at the usual meeting spot and no matter how little those moments would last in the eternity of his solitude, for now they were enough.

 As he passed the door of Chuuya’s office he paused and a grin appeared on his face, maybe he should mess with the hat rack’s reports! Not the ones he had thrown on him to do god no! But the ones Chuuya originally had to take care of! His reaction would be priceless and maybe it will lead him a bit closer to death, by laughing at the chibi’s misfortunate of course. (Okay maybe a little bit of those punches too)

He picked on the lock with ease and opened the door ready to create a mess. What he hadn’t expected was to see his partner in crime unconcious on the ground. He raised an eyebrow, had the red haired gotten too drunk again? Hm, but he didn’t see those wine bottles anywhere, so no. He approached the hat rack and poked him.

“Oi, chibi, wake up.” he drawled out bored. Huh. No reply. Oh well, he grabbed a marker from the desk. Time for desperate measures! He would draw on Chuuy’a fa-.he paused as he saw the color of his partner. He was red even more red than when he usually got angry at him, if that could be possible. He rested a bandaged hand on his forehead, tch, he was burning up.

“Did you overwork yourself, Chuuya?” Dazai murmured to himself shaking his head in disapproval “We truly are opposites..” Normally he would have left the red haired be and maybe if he felt like it, tell something about his condition to his subordinates, but today after seeing Odasaku, he felt like he could maybe be...a better partner for once.  He picked up the tiny body of his partner and felt the frantic breathing against his neck. He groaned.

“You have gotten heavy, Chuuya, have you put on weight?” he mused mostly to himself because the auburn haired man was not able to even make a decent sentence at his current state. Dazai thought for a bit, now maybe he should take Chuuya back to his apartment that way Chuuya would be confused as fuck and then he can blackmail him for passing out during work hours. Ah yes, this was the best. No, he was not worried in the slightest, what are you saying?

After passing several corridors, he entered the apartment he had been gifted to in the base right after he became an executive. He didn’t use it often so it was almost bare, a comfortable bed,a library filled with books about every topic anyone could imagine and a tiny kitchen. Not like anyone let him do as much as cook, no. But he did try new recipes for suicide, from time to time! 

He basically threw the tiny angry man on the bed and then grabbed one of his books. Well, he was being kind, wasn’t he? He had even allowed Chuuya to borrow his very much comfortable bed! It was much better than the floor, Chuuya had chosen to rest on,wasn’t it? So that must be enough.

A small sound of pain made his eyes shift from the book he was reading and to look at his partner, he must be having a nightmare, from the way it looked. Well that wasnt unusual when it came to fever per se, the way Chuuya breathed however made him slightly alarmed, maybe he should call a doctor? Dazai could barely take care of himself, Chuuya was always the one who would patch up his wounds and help him heal when he was with a cold. So what could he do at this situation? He added a cold compress on the boy’s forehead only for it to roll around as Chuuya tossed. Dazai sighed.

“What a pain.” he dialed a familar number to hear a tired and emotionless voice, its owner someone he happened to hold rather dear.

“Dazai? That’s unusual, what is the matter?”

“Odasaku! I require your assistance!”

“In what exactly, if I may ask?” 

Dazai paused for a bit and pouted.

“How do I take care of a sick child with fever?” he manages to ask, for a moment a deafining silence followed “Odasakuu.” the brunet whined.

“Ah. I thought you were joking.”

“No, I am serious!”

“Well, you should try to get some medicine to give to the child every few hours, get them food so they will be able to drink it and then allow them to rest as much as possible.”

“Thanks Odasaku, you are a lifesaver!”

“It was nothing. Have a goodnight and ah hope the kid gets better soon.” with that the red haired man hung up and Dazai finally turned his attention to his partner.

“So Chu-what the hell.” he stared at the scene unfold in front of him Chuuya was gradually floating higher and higher. Huh. Chuuya almost reached the ceiling. Dazai climbed up on the bed.

“Really now Chu-” hey, the chibi had gone too high he couldn’t reach him! Dazai glared at his partner, rather done with the situation. He jumped once, missed him just barely! Once again, he caught Chuuya’s sleeve! Chuuya kept floating, damn him! This time he jumped adding more force and wrapped his arms around Chuuya who fell limp on top of him. Dazai let out a groan.

“You are heavy.” he grumbled and orange hair tickled his cheek, ah this was tiring. Dazai just closed his eyes and grabbed the blanket, it was late anyway, like 4 am? The chibi had no mind to complain anyway. Not that he ever had brain to begin with. Before he also drifted off to sleep, Dazai thought, if he could die from fever and something he wouldn’t admit to himself, that Chuuya fitted perfectly in his arms and that he was warm enough to relax him. Well...Chuuya was much more charming when he wasn’t talking after all.

Sapphires blinked tiredly as he stared at a unfamiliar celling, pure white. He felt warm and something was brushing against his neck, it was warm. His eyes widened as he noticed the bandages.

“WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Ahhh, don’t be so loud first thing in the morning Chuuyaaa” a familiar voice complained and the mafioso felt horror in his heart as Dazai cracked one eye open.

“WHAT HAPPENED?”

“Nothing, I just fell asleep while taking care of you.” he grabbed Chuuya by the arm “Now let’s go back to sleep.”

“LET ME GO YOU BASTARD.”

Neverthless to say, Chuuya had to take care of another sick child for the rest of his days along with his own cold. Chuuya grunted as he made some soup.

“Oi shitty Dazai, the chicken soup is ready.” a form coughed in the bed.

“I knew-cough- that Chuuya was the perfect housewife.”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HOUSEWIFE?”

Yup it was a disaster.