#my book splurge for April lol

[theaologieslibrary]

Is that the-

The Waterstones exclusive signed edition of A Curse for True Love? Yeah, it is

[writing-in-april]

Paint me

Laurent LeClaire x Female Reader

Summary: Reader finally has enough money to splurge on getting herself painted for the first time in her life. When she meets her painter, Laurent, she wonders whether she got more than what she bargained for.

A/N: Hello everyone- sorry this ones out a bit late tonight- I had practice and had to finish up a few things on this one after. This is my tenth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April- can’t believe we’re 1/3 through 🙈If y’all have ever seen In Secret you know what scene inspired this fic asdjksdj lol 😂 also @propertyofabelmorales fic from Valentine’s Day also inspired me 🥰 I low key probably spent more time on this than necessary considering he isn’t a very popular character but I couldn’t help myself 😅 In secret was actually the first movie (that wasn’t Star Wars) that I saw Oscar Isaac in so Laurent low key has my heart- even with his murderous tendencies 😂 I always love hearing from my followers so feel free to drop an ask or request here. Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy.

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Reader is fearful of Laurent, Reader thinks Laurent might kill her, Dubcon, Oral sex (F receiving), Unprotected sex, Creampie- if any other warnings need to be added let me know

Main Masterlist Word Count: 3.2K

Being painted was an important status symbol in this life. To have your image captured for all to see, put down on canvas by paint from a brush was a way of showing off beauty to the people around you, and the people that came after.

You were elated to have your image captured on canvas for the first time, finally able to afford it on your own. A rare sight in the world that you lived in to see a woman able to pay the fee of having her portrait painted.

Such a rare sight it was that when you had chosen a painter and contacted him he had almost seemed confused. When he had asked if you had a husband you had snorted turning up your nose to then tell him no. It was not that you did not want any sort of romantic touch, but being tied down to someone for years that would probably not cherish you the way you deserved sickened you. So, with no one around to pressure you into an arranged marriage you remained unmarried.

The painter you had hired, Laurent, was sweet as honey, almost to a sickly degree. The charm had remained even after he had realized that you were alone, basically a spinster. Whether or not he kept up the act because he thought it would be easier to get underneath your skirts or because he truly did not mind an independent woman did not matter to you. You would only let your gaze linger over while he painted you, that was all. He was here to paint you, nothing more.

He had positioned you in a chair to sit in a simple position. His reasoning for that he told you was that the simpler the position, the easier it was for your beauty to shine. Painters had a way with words though, so you tried not to let your heart swell from the compliment.

You let yourself stare in each session as he began to lay out the foundation of your likeness. Each time you sat in the chair time ticked by slowly, inch by inch. It was not as if you minded as it let you look upon how his inky curls shone in the dim lighting, plus every other part your eyes were allowed access to. It was only fair in your book, considering his job was to stare at you.

This session you were in now seemed different to the others; he seemed more distant. While you both stared at the other not a single word was exchanged, only the brush on canvas got to speak today with each stroke.

It was harder to concentrate this time on staying as still as possible. You ached to move your legs over, just a bit to the side. Daring to test the waters, hoping he would not notice, your legs twitched a little over to the right.

For a while he continued to say nothing, painting with ease like he had completely missed the twitch in your legs. That was until he decided to speak for the first time in hours,

“No-“ His face twisted, morphing into a look tinged with darkness. It was this first sign of displeasure you had heard from your hours of sitting as if you had a rod in your spine. Dipping his brush back into his paints again to find his desired color was a much more rushed action than before. It was an annoyed and quick movement, trying to swiftly correct the mistake you had assumed he had made. When he returned his brush where it belonged on his canvas it scraped along it as he pushed the paint along, molding it into his image.

Another moment goes by silently and with no more words of displeasure; you begin to relax into your position again. It was already hard to relax fully while his eyes flitted from your body to his canvas; your nerves only raised higher after his outward sign of displeasure. He scrutinized every angle and curve as his eye took in every inch of you to create an accurate portrait of you. You wondered if in his fee there was an understanding that he would paint you in the highest light possible. Though, truth be told it was foolish to question that. What type of painter would he be if he displeased his clients by being honest in his paintings?

It was in his job description to lie. Painters depicted the beauty they saw and made it shine, even if that meant trying to find beauty in the darkest of corners to forcefully shed a light on them. All it took was a painter of proper skill, a canvas, and of course a set of paints. Any unwilling features that tried to fight their painters lies would be forcefully bent to their will, almost like a king, and all with a simple stroke to canvas. No, you weren’t ugly, but you accepted that it was his job to bend the truth to his will.

The darkness you had briefly observed reappeared on his face once more. He tried to be quiet in his frustration, but his whisper could not contain the anger brewing beneath. Truthfully his words were a far cry from a whisper, it was more of a shout, “It is not right!”

Naturally you wanted to question what had made the painter suddenly rise with anger, though you wisely kept your mouth shut tight. You did not know this man, nor did you know what he could be capable of underneath the sweet words. The darkness that brewed glinted in his eyes as he took his brush to canvas again, this time with more venom in his strokes.

You were not going to trust the honeyed words he had spoken to you, at least not now while you saw how the honey could possibly be sour. Even though honey never turned acrid in common knowledge, the sight before you disproved that. Each new brush against his canvas turned violent, almost as if he’d push through the canvas with how much force he was using and create a hole.

You could have left the room in a hurry, or even demanded him leave. After all, it was you that employed him. Watching honey that soured so quick intrigued you, so the rod stayed in your spine, though you knew it was naive of you. You couldn’t trust his words, but you could still listen to them.

Brush after brush splattered paint onto the canvas in front of him that you could not view. His once dexterous movements had devolved into a man you did not know, not that you truly knew him beforehand either. You couldn’t imagine he was painting anything close to your likeness; you highly doubted long irritated strokes would be good for each of your contours and curves.

Clattering noises filled the air of the room you were both trapped in, one trapped by his job and one trapped by curiosity. You hoped the curiosity didn’t kill you like the cat. He had kicked the easel that held the painting he was being paid for, which had caused the clattering. Gripping the paintbrush in his hand with fury he then separated it from the canvas and began to pace.

As he paced your mind wandered further; it was all it could do while it was stuck observing the man before you spiral. You wondered if he had forgotten your presence, even if he had been painting you- and you had even been doubting that.

Clearly he hadn’t forgotten about you as he suddenly stopped his pacing, slowly turning to face you again. His gaze no longer flitted between two things calling his attention, now fully focused on you, still with that rod in your spine.

“It is you.” He spoke with a deadly bite and you could not help but have your bottom lip wobble at his accusation. Racking your brain you tried to find why you were the one that was the source of his wrath and why you were the one that was about to receive it. “You are not in the right position.”

You wanted to protest, saying that you had not moved a muscle since he had placed you in this exact position with your spine rigid in a chair. The protest became stuck in your throat, no doubt because of the fear you now held for the darkness that brewed underneath. You remained stoically silent, rigid as ever, waiting for him to mold you into the position that he wanted you in.

He twirled his paintbrush in his hand absentmindedly while he thought. You did not know what he was pondering, though you had to guess it had something to do with fixing how you were positioned. He answered your own curious thoughts by confirming them, “You need to relax.”

Relaxing, that was hard enough earlier when you had not had fear put in you. Still, you tried to let go of the tension held tightly in your shoulders forcefully just as he did whenever he forced your features to look their best in his painting.

He then sighed, obviously displeased with your effort. Instead of letting you try again he simply gave you an order to ‘stay still’ while he began to approach you with his paintbrush in hand.

As the paintbrush approached you instead of the canvas you could not help but tremble as it came closer. It was not any sort of weapon that could do you any harm; it would take a lot to hurt someone with a paintbrush. Still, you quivered as it approached, perhaps more because of the gaze that was transfixed on you.

Laurent’s gaze was wild, a hint of madness was evident in his eyes. They were two dark pools of almost black fixed upon you as if they were set on devouring you in the oblivion in their depths. Eyes were said to be the window to the soul and Laurent did little to make you doubt that claim. He did not give you soothing words as he saw you tremble beneath his daunting gaze and the slowly approaching bristles of the paintbrush, still partially coated in the color he had last been using. Instead of giving you the soothing words you may have desired the paintbrush crept closer, like it was stalking you in the night just as the obsidian pools he called eyes.

Your quivers were not solely because of the glint of madness you could see, hiding in the depths of his eyes. It would be a lie to say that all your quivers and shivers were rooted in the fear as to what he might do to you if you dared move from the position he had placed you in hours beforehand. Something else akin to desire had found itself at home run in through your veins, unburdened by the worries of what the black pools might be hiding in their abyss.

That feeling, the one that was running through your veins in spite of the lingering fear, was soon guiding your body. You were no longer staying rigid in your position out of fear; you wanted him to touch you, even if only with the tips of his brush.

He knelt down when close enough to then reach to lift up your skirts. You were scarcely breathing now, still afraid yet intrigued as to what a man could do with a simple paint brush. Opening your legs up at the approach of his paintbrush would have been indecent to some, but you could not help yourself. Biting your lip hard enough to possibly draw blood was so you did not move into his touch, letting him come to you as you did not want to incite his wrath. You wanted him to touch you with it, despite that fear of those black pools staring fiercely at you.

The soft bristles finally grazed the inner flesh of your thigh, a small tickle running through the nerves connected to the spot it touched. You could’ve been fooled into thinking that it had been the brush of his hand if your own eyes hadn’t been fixated upon him.

You moved your position just a hair, maybe even smaller than the ones on the paintbrush used to move you.

“There.” His whisper breathless, now devoid of the darkness that had stifled any sweetness.

You ached to hear him say it again, it was not a praise for you in the strictest sense. He had been simply readjusting you, hardly any room or need for any praise. The way he had whispered it along with the whisper of the brush upon your skin made it feel like he was praising you. Before you knew what was happening or considered the consequences you chased the brush he had begun to pull back with your thighs.

The darkness quickly came back on his face when he had noticed you had moved to chase his touch. He began to bark out a command to put you back in your place, even though he was the painter, and you, the client. “Sit ba-“

“Brush me again.” Your plea was too beautiful for him to let it go unanswered, even though you had cut him off. There no doubt was still lingering fear inside you, afraid of what he might do in retaliation.

He surprisingly obliged you, you could see his curiosity meld with the darkness in him. He lifted your skirts again, holding the brush just above the spot where he had touched moments before.

When he brushed the inner flesh of your thigh again, the pressure was harder, less unsure.

That simple touch made you moan, even though he wasn’t touching any spot that normally might bring you pleasure. It was as if a dark shadow had cascaded across his face to blur your perception of who he probably was underneath it all. If it wasn’t for your curiosity and your simple desire you would have thought more critically about his next request.

“Take off your dress.” Like someone without a thought you stripped it off of you in haste, as did he with his own clothes.

In no time at all it seemed, his mouth had enveloped your own, keen on devouring all you had to offer. He picked you up with ease by the tops of your now naked thighs so he could lower you to the floor. He then allowed himself to nip and suck on any section of skin he desired to put his mouth on. Not that you could reciprocate as he had your hands held above your head.

When his fingers started to dance along the tops of your thighs just as the brush had done you instinctively pushed your thighs together. The action was quickly reversed by Laurent releasing your hands to push your thighs apart, giving him an unobstructed view of your entrance.

His mouth was soon swiftly on the places that brought you pleasure, sucking your pearl into his mouth like a sweet.

You wanted to writhe underneath him out of sheer pleasure, but he did not need to bind you to make you immobile. That fear still lingering in your mind kept your body still, even as he combined his mouth with his fingers by pushing them into your entrance.

“There?” He whispered as he crooked them upwards, trying to find the spot that would make you see stars. It wasn’t quite right though, so you shook your head side to side. You didn’t dare to speak, not that you could do anything more but making unintelligible moans of pleasure.

“There.” He whispered with finality when he hit that somewhat spongy spot inside you making you cry out louder than before. It was so nice to hear him say those words again, honeyed words that tasted so sweet even though they were tainted by darkness. Your release shot through you quickly, like an arrow sent to kill you.

He removed his fingers from you when you were finished with your first release of the night, wasting no time to push himself inside you. He was larger than any other man you had been with, stretching you blissfully and almost painfully. You were lucky he was not too cruel to not let you adjust to his size, but as soon as you had he unleashed himself upon you. All you could do was wrap your legs around his waist and let him thrust into you at a brutal pace. The sounds of skin slapping on skin were so loud they almost over took the moans you were emitting along with his grunts.

When his hand came to wrap around your neck your own mortality became evident to you. Early before you had succumbed to his touch with a simple brush, you had been afraid he might harm you, even with the desire pumping through your blood. You had not even thought of beyond a simple bruise or cut to your flesh by him. His hand around your throat while he thrusted into you made you wonder how much it would take for him to squeeze until your lips turned blue.

Desire one again took over your fear, his hand around your neck combined with the sweet nothings whispered in your ear made you fall apart again. It was a slow devastating release like honey dripping off a spoon languidly until it dropped down to sweeten the pot. Even though his own honey had turned sour, he still was fully capable of making people feel sweetness while shrouded in darkness.

He filled you soon after you had finished your own release with a grunt. Neither of you had any real care to be able to give to the possible consequences of him filling you. He rolled off of you and you were glad in the moment he didn’t crush you under his weight like most men would have done.

Silence seemed to be a staple item that constantly wormed its way in between the two of you. No one spoke for a while, truthfully it might have been an hour. Laurent was the first to break it again, with much less malice than before,

“Do you want me to continue to paint you?” He whispered into your skin as he continued to pepper his plush lips across your skin. Glancing up towards the easel that still faced the canvas away from you and then over to the bare man next to you helped aid you in your decision. You could let him leave with wasted paints, wasted canvas, and wasted potential.

The wasted potential was what stopped you from letting him paint the rest of the angles of your body. Pondering what could come of the painting, and your relationship with the man who had just made you see stars while simultaneously making you fear or your life at the same time made you frown. The possibilities were endless, but those two black pools hid something too interesting for you to ignore. You wanted to know more, even ached for it.

“Yes.” You simply replied and you then willingly fell into the abyss.

Ask Me Anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith — grr tumblr is still being stupid

People who might be interested 🤷‍♀️: @propertyofabelmorales @sergeantkane @foxilayde

[mnovenia]

SELAH - What kind of season (in my life) is this?

23 April 2020

23rd day of being back to my homeland. Thank God I passed quarantine period and am very healthy with 0 complain. 

I may say it’s the most unproductive 3 weeks of my life, with no plan, no much being done. Day by day passed like that, struggling with jet lag, watching series, reading a bit of book, listening to a lot of musics, catching up with friends, eat and cook, pretty much it. However, this kind of routine is strange, because I basically jobless with no income and don’t have quite a plan of what to do next? :) #senyuminaja

A week ago, I received my last paycheck from Eurail, not as much but it’s more than enough for me+Papa to live another month. I was hesitated at first to still sending my tithe to Shofar, however God’s words were so alive and everyday I was reminded to just send my monthly tithe, its not much if I consider that all is from God, but my earthly desire said I will also need and treasure that much money. After 7 days battling, I gave up and obeyed God instead, I sent the usual amount to honor God and give thanks and trust that He will provide.

Technically, I’m sure I’d not expect another income and just trying to have peace with it, manage my finance wisely (survival mode on, bahkan belum rela beli sabun mandi LOL). 

God even provides for the birds of the air

This week alone, no matter how unproductive i’ve been, so lazy to read the words and connect with God’s people, but He never fails to reach out to me magically in His own way. If i think about that, I’m amazed, why God why you love me so much. Even more with these 2 extra Godly moment I would never forget and asked God to help me not taking them for granted:

1. It was Wednesday night, i was so lazy, discouraged, do not want to do anything, left bed at 4PM. I was so ready to make instant noodle because of my laziness and I don’t care to eat anything anymore then out of sudden GoJek driver shouted from outside: PAKETTTTT (package)... turned out it’s from my cousin, filled with foods that i’ve been craving (ayam ungkep, tuna cabe, macaroni schottel, nasi bambu, etc) and a bottle of body shop soap (how come? ive been so stingy to not buy soap, but God takes care of me by sending an expensive one).

2. And today out of sudden like at 6-7PM, Michelle randomly asked for my Indo bank account. I was so suspicious, and cried right away. I can’t even hold my tears in front of Juni. I asked God why, why He’s so good and used Michelle and her family to be a living testimony of His hands and feet for my life.

Im still so overwhelmed by her/her husband/sister/parents’ love during my time in the US, that was an enormous splurge in my opinion, because I’ve never been treated like that in my life ever before. A week ago her mother messaged me and said that she’s thinking of me and praying for God’s provision for my future. And I don’t really care if they send another gift or not, the fact that I was on their mind even though I live halfway around the world, is already too good to be true

My point in this post is: Gusti ora Sare aka Tuhan maha melihat aka God takes care of me in the way I can’t comprehend. And I should not be worry about anything and my future. He knows and sees, He rewards those who obey Him :)

[hyperdrivehearts]

Headcanon time! Would Yusei or Kalin want to adopt kids of their own? What are their favorite types of movies and shows? Are there hobbies or skills you can imagine them wanting to learn other than mechanics and dueling? What kinds of things do they like and dislike eating?

- Would Yusei or Kalin want to adopt kids of their own?

As of right now, in my mainverse canon, Yusei and Kalin don’t particularly want any kids; mostly because neither really know what they want out of life just yet (as long as they’re with each other tbqh.) So, for the time being they’re content with their four cats.

Although Yusei has the tendency to become a father or elder brother to literately any child he comes across, it would still be something he’d severely discuss with Kalin– and he does! (thank god these two have good communication with each other post canon.) They both would want kids..eventually, just not anytime soon because they’re still young, and because of Kalin’s mental health.

Even post canon, Kalin’s mental health is still kinda shitty– although he has made a ton of progress since he first joined Team 5Ds, having a therapist and he is on medication, it still isn’t the best to be in the spot of taking care of someone… bigger than a cat. There are days where Kalin’s really only gets out of bed to feed the cats or use the washroom, even with Yusei by his side. Yusei doesn’t force Kalin to do anything he doesn’t want to do, and just wants to make sure the other is doing okay. (He’ll close Stardust Mechanics in a heartbeat to take care of Kalin, ok?)

Kalin knows that days like those would inevitably impact his ability to care for a child, he can’t take “me days” because it affects the kid, and Kalin really, really, really wants to be the best the best version of himself possible when they do have a kid around.

Yusei and Kalin have probably also looked into surrogacy, at the suggestion of Akiza (since she is studying to become a doctor afterall,) and would also consider looking into that as an option.

HOWEVER, that all being said, in my thread with Moon’s (burningalma) Takeru, in their 5Ds verse, Kalin does befriend Takeru because of cats and we have joked that Takeru kinda just moves in of his own accord because of said cats. lets be honest knowing me and my love for found family kalin n yus are probably gonna adopt him

IN ANOTHER AU ENTIRELY ON DISCORD, Kalin and Yusei are the super cool dads of Moon’s and Kasa’s (soulburnings) Takeru’s and its nothing but slice of life and the Takeru’s being little shits and its the BEST thing since sliced bread (maybe one day we’ll actually have a thread on tumblr instead of screaming in DMs.)

I’ll be putting the rest of the headcanons under the cut!!

- What are their favorite types of movies and shows?

Neither of the two tend to watch movies or shows. Kalin as a whole feels very disconnected from pop culture, because he was dead for so long (four years is a pretty fair amount of time when you’re in your early 20s,) and generally feels disconnected from society as a whole as a result of it. 

For Kalin, there’s also the issue of his ADHD coming into play if he’s not engaged enough by the movie, he’ll have the tendency to just,, zone out and think of other things as it’s playing, and when he tunes in the story has moved so far along already he doesn’t see a point in getting back into it.

Yusei is a workaholic, and I don’t think he’s physically capable of sitting down and actually watching a movie, unless it’s the once-a-month movie night with the rest of Team 5Ds where they all squish themselves onto the couches and floor, but he definitely puts the television on when he’s working and radio isn’t enough background noise, only paying attention occasionally.

Even so, they both have their preferences on what to watch and/or to listen to. I’m 99% sure they’d both like action packed superhero movies, and Yusei probably got Kalin into watching mystery thrillers with him. Kalin definitely enjoys cooking shows, mostly because he is the one of the two of them to cook. Yusei would enjoy those fixer upper shows– like Holmes Does It Right or any show which renovates a neglected historical building (Yusei also fucking loves cheesy romcoms and will get Kalin to sit down with him for them.)

One genre they’d both probably avoid would be horror. Kalin definitely used to love the genre with his whole heart back before he first died, but after the whole shtick with the Dark Signers, I don’t think he can physically digest it anymore– it brings back too many bad memories, especially when the horror movie in question deals with graphic murder and manslaughter, he can’t help but think of when he almost killed Yusei and laughed about it. (Although most horror movies make Yusei uncomfortable typically as he just doesn’t like seeing people in pain, real or not, he’s nowhere near the levels of distressed that Kalin is.)

And with Ccapac Apu’s spirit still residing in Kalin, I’m sure you can imagine all the nasty thoughts that would arise as a result.

- Are there hobbies or skills you can imagine them wanting to learn other than mechanics and dueling?

Of course!! I briefly mentioned it earlier in the last section, and in some other posts, but my Kalin enjoys cooking and baking! It’s something he learned from his mom, who died when he was fairy young, so it’s definitely something he keeps close to his heart. (Much like cooking, his mom taught him how to dance as well and he ended up teaching Yusei when they were Enforcers, so it’s something they still do! Unfortunately Yusei has a harder time catching onto cooking.)

After seeing his therapist for the first couple of sessions, it was suggested that Kalin should keep a book of some kind to write or draw in about what he’s feeling, so he’s have some sort of outlet. (Yusei was the one to really push the idea.) Kalin took up doodling and drawing as a result, and genuinely enjoys doing it (he’s not that good yet and is still early on in the learning process.)

After dueling and mechanics, Yusei’s hobbies tend to be very quiet. He likes reading and going for drives on his runner that don’t really end up anywhere in particular (he LOVES to travel and explore new places, especially more so since Satellite is reunited with New Domino, so he actually can.) I can definitely see him getting possibly into photography (and taking a ton of pictures of Kalin as a result lol,) and as left field as it is, I can see him getting interested in crocheting and knitting SOLELY so he can make sweaters for their cats and maybe hats for Leo and Luna.

The only “not quiet” hobby I can also see him getting into is probably learning the drums, but that’s deadass me projectin since I’m a drummer with a soft spot for band AU’s.

- What kinds of things do they like and dislike eating?             

Yusei, by all means, is not a picky eater at all. He’ll basically shut up and eat whatever is given to him, even if it doesn’t taste good at like, all. It’s a lasting effect of trying to survive in Satellite. I can see him liking either savory foods, or very sweet foods with nothing in between– I don’t think he has a favorite food?

Kalin on the other hand, is a lot pickier with his foods– won’t eat certain kinds of vegetables (I can see him hating beets) or other foods unless it’s cooked a certain way. It works out, because Kalin is the one that does the cooking anyways and ranks Kalin’s food just below Martha’s (Kalin and Martha probably do exchange recipes because I can see Kalin trying to make something Yusei enjoyed as a kid for his birthday or something.) His favorite food is probably homemade ice cream, using canned coconut milk, as it’s something his mom made him a lot when she was alive, since whole milk isn’t readily available and cans are much easier to store.

Coincidentally, as you can probably tell, Yusei and Kalin BOTH have big sweet tooths and agree wholeheartedly that the best time of year is sakura season in April, where everything becomes pink and sweet. Although they try to save their money up, they’ll occasionally splurge and go on a shopping trip to raid anything in the supermarket that’s remotely sweet and/or sugary, which when Crow and Jack were living with the two of them, it would often result in Crow getting angry at Jack and calling him a bad influence.

[manchestereyes]

my ii experience (spoiler free!)

So my II show was exactly a month ago now (what the HELL) but no matter how much time passes, I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feelings of elation and connection I felt that day and night. And I hope I never do.

I was lucky enough to have meet and greet for my show (you can read all about that experience here if you’d like and watch the video of it all here!) but right now, I’d like to focus on what happened after that, all leading up to the actual show. Don’t worry, this won’t have any spoilers--rather, I’d like to focus on the things I felt while Dan and Phil were onstage. Because oh man, did I feel a lot, in the absolute best way.

As the meet and greet itself took a lot out of me, I chose to just sit in the lobby of the theater with my friend Kayla afterwards to process everything and fight with the horrendous cell service just so I could post my photos on Twitter and Tumblr. Honestly, if Dan and Phil ever tour again, I hope they don’t come to the Rosemont Theatre and can book somewhere in downtown Chicago instead--not only because downtown is easier for me to get to but also because those theaters hopefully wouldn’t leave me without service for a solid half hour before they opened the doors to let us go to our seats. But anyway.

The coolest part about these couple hours of waiting, though, was that I actually had a few people come up and talk to me (if that’s you, by the way, hello! Sorry I was a bit of a flustered mess but I hope you had a wonderful time at the show!), saying they recognized me from my meet and greet pictures and/or knew me from Tumblr. As someone who’s so used to fading into the background, this was huge for me. Not only did I feel like I had a connection with real people I’ve had actual conversations with online, but for the first time in two years, I had actual real live people I could enthuse about Dan and Phil with. I could do this enthusing out loud. I didn’t have to limit it to furiously typing at my phone and constricting my vocal chords so that only the tiniest of squeaks could escape.

I was truly myself for the first time in….god, I don’t even know how long. And it was the best feeling ever.

(Also why I miss the day and the show so much now and would give anything to see it again buuuut we’re not gonna talk about that right now!)

Walking into the theater floor and down to our seats was probably the most thrilling thing I’ve ever experienced. Finally, the stage I’d been seeing over and over again for three months was right there and freaking huge and glorious. Despite being all the way on the far right side, right by the speaker, we still had an incredible view that made my splurge on those resale tickets SO worth it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to an actual stage since the last choir concert I sang in at the end of my senior year of high school. Exhilarating doesn’t begin to cover it.

After taking the obligatory selfies with the stage, I had a couple more people say hi, surprisingly enough--including someone who said they had read all my fics and loved them (hi if you’re reading this!! ily!!! And I’m so sorry for being a bit of a frazzled mess! There was just so much going on and my brain couldn’t quite process it all lol). And for me, that was one of the highlights of the entire night. I won’t lie, I was hoping for this in the back of my mind ever since tickets went on sale but I never expected it would actually happen. I now know how Dan and Phil feel when they run into people on the street who say they love their videos. It really does mean the world.

No wonder they wanted to do a second tour so badly.

I should add at this point that the pre-show playlist was straight up FIRE. Just like with TATINOF, Dan and Phil did a really good job of putting all the best songs in the last half hour or so before they went onstage. I won’t spoil any of this either (even though I know most of us have been bopping to these songs since April) but just know that I was dancing in my seat with the biggest smile the whole time. And then one of the coolest things happened:

A couple girls started running around the main floor seats with a pride flag and EVERYONE started cheering for them. And then other people joined in with various other pride flags. And the cheering grew even louder, if that’s possible. I had the biggest rush of love for all these people in the theater, from all kinds of places and stages of life, who had all come together for these two dorks and who shared some commonalities and maybe even some life experiences, no matter how old we were or where we came from.

For a few seconds, I felt connected to every single one of those 4,000 or so people. Even though I only talked to a handful of them.

And that feeling only intensified once Welcome to the Black Parade (finally) came on and the whole theater glowed with the light from hundreds, maybe even thousands, of phones.

I really wish Dan and Phil could have seen that. Because it really was so beautiful it almost made me cry.

Seeing the real, actual Dan and Phil on that stage...I don’t know if I can ever describe it. It was the biggest rush but it also felt so comforting at the same time? Like I was meant to be there. It really gave Dan’s earlier affirmation of “We’re proud you came here today!” a whole new meaning.

Maybe actually going to the show was never a question for me--I was going to get there one way or another--but yeah, there were times where those obstacles seemed insurmountable. But I got there. And it was so worth it, a thousand times over.

I have to say, one of the best parts came near the beginning of the second half: Phil was talking about something (I don’t remember what) and Dan was standing right in front of me (sldkfjlsdjflsdkjgkljhlfksdfghjlskh) looking out at the audience--I assume in an attempt to quell some serious heart eyes. In the process, though, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Dan because, come on, he was right there and gorgeous as heck and I’m convinced I made awkward eye contact like two or three times with him. Like, I swear his carefully controlled face was screaming, “Why the hell are you looking at me and not my gorgeous bf??”

Well, Dan. It’s kinda impossible not to look at you. (And maybe I like watching people’s reactions. And maaayybeee my demon may have jumped out. But like, it’s impossible for it not to at this show.)

Phil can certainly agree to that first assertion, though. Especially in the first half, when every time he tried to take his eyes off Dan, they were dragged right back there in two seconds by some force even bigger than the two of them.

I still can’t believe I got to see that with my own two eyes.

Overall, Dan and Phil most definitely achieved everything they were hoping for with this show and so much more. I was on cloud nine the entire time they were onstage. Even better, though, I felt like I was right where I should be. Like I was coming home. And I met some incredible people who I’d freaking LOVE to meet up with again if we ever get the chance.

For someone with pretty bad social anxiety, that’s something of a miracle. And it’s all thanks to these dorks who met each other on the internet and created an entire life together. Pretty inspiring, isn’t it?

[megbox]

2018 Year In Review

Previous Posts: (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011) 

2018 has not been a banner year for self care. It has not been a banner year for much of anything, to be honest. This year in review will be much less colourful and exciting than they traditionally tend to be. It has been a year of hard work, stress, and feeling the pressure of the less-fun parts of adulthood creeping up on me. It has been really hard, to be totally honest. I have spent the majority of the year in a deep state of exhaustion and distress. There are positives within it all, though. Big positives, such as: 

I went on my longest trip ever away from home. 

I have developed so much in the professional sense and have fallen so deeply in love with social work and my future career path. 

I have made new friends who reflect these changing influences in my life, and the enduring friendships that have survived all of these years continue to strengthen and deepen as time goes on. 

January: 

Tell me - why does January always suck? 2018 began with an opening double shift on New Year’s Day, which I feel is strongly symbolic of the year as a whole because you have an exhausted Megan struggling to responsibly balance my professional responsibilities, self-care, and partying. On January 3rd, Alex and I booked our flights to Asia and in doing so, solidified that we were going through with a plan made drunkenly over the table last summer at a karaoke bar. 

I did get to spend an awesome ski weekend with Alesta, Sydney x 2, and Shelby. It was especially nice because this particular group of people had never spent time all together - we were just united by being a group of girls who love to ski. We hit Lake Louise on Saturday, stayed overnight at a hostel in Banff, and Alesta and I hit Sunshine on Sunday. In Banff, we got a free jug of sangria because we are cute girls. We went to High Rollers and Sydney was drinking IPAs and porters like a pro. I went alone (like... what? Who am I? How drunk was I?) to Dancing Sasquatch after and made friends with some Nova Scotians in line. One of them paid for my cover and bought me not one but two of those infamous Time Machine drinks and extra bonus - Alesta and I got FREE lift passes at Sunshine. 

At the end of the month, my mental health took a sharp nosedive into oblivion and I don’t even really know why. I started experiencing a violent resurgence of something I haven’t felt since the end of the 12th grade, having what I now recognize as panic attacks. The first one came when I was studying on a Sunday at Higher Ground and I had no idea what the fuck was happening, I’d been there for several hours when I suddenly felt the urge to throw up. I packed up all my shit and burst out the door literally gasping for air but ended up being fine. Just shaky and confused. They started happening more frequently after this, with no predictable trigger, and I started to feel the physical manifestations of stress. That was new and it freaked me out. This lent itself to a lot of strange patterns around eating (since I was constantly feeling nauseous, or I thought I was, I didn’t want to have a full stomach. I also thought I had a food intolerance, and because I’m me was 100% convinced I was pregnant because the stress caused me to miss my period). 

February 

Things started to get so bad in February that I had to plead my manager at Famoso for less hours. He was an idiot in general but also did not seem to grasp the severity of what I told him. He would frequently schedule me for these long swing swifts all weekend long, leaving no time or energy for the mountains of homework I had to do. It did not help. 

February was especially busy with school. That’ll be a recurring theme throughout this year. It could honestly be a summary of this entire year - so I’ll spare you the details. But five courses at the University of Calgary is no joke. 

I never needed reading week so badly in my entire life. I was beyond happy to just be able to take a long weekend and not be at Famoso. Shelby arranged for a giant group of her friends to spend the weekend at her friend Sawyer’s massive, absolutely beautiful cabin in Invermere. I got to spend some quality time with two of my favourite people on the planet - Emma and Sydney. From the minute we got into Emma’s car together, to having ciders at the Emerald Lake Lodge on the way, to eating A&W and sharing a bed and “she gon’ fuck the fridge.” Sydney and I spent one afternoon on homework while everyone else went skiing and I was with her when she got the news that she’d won this massive grant and we celebrated by sitting in this magical massage chair and just loving life. We played Drink, Talk, Learn! And I gave a drunken presentation on the history and etiology of pugs. Emma and I went skating on Lake Windermere to cure our hangovers on Sunday. A keg and a bonfire were involved. It was so Canadian, honestly LOL. And so perfect. 

March 

Although I was still struggling with this weird panic-nausea cycle, it lessened through March as more and more assignments were completed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to use a cliche. I gave three presentations in a week, I remember that being particularly awful. 

I attempted Mellow March for the second time and once again failed. Mildly concerning. I caved on a Wednesday wing night with the Famoso friends. It was 27 days in. So close, so close. 2019 will be my year! 

I started getting really into podcasts at this time because I started commuting using public transit. I got really into Guys We Fucked (which I still love), and This Is Actually Happening. TIAH is kind of fucked up though, and after a while it started to fuck me up. I would have weird dreams about the content and I started becoming paranoid that there was something wrong/extraordinary about me. So I stopped. I guess that is something I have learned about myself this year, is that even when it’s not overt, I am really deeply effected by some of the things I learn. Typically, people of this nature do not excel in the field of social work so allow me to flag this as a place for improvement in the future.

I ran the 5km at the St. Patrick’s Day road race, which was awesome and I won the draw that everyone was entered in and got a FREE pair of these super nice, hot pink New Balance running shoes that I now cherish with my life. 

I had my first round of practicum interviews, which only ended up being one interview because I was offered the placement at CommunityWise before I could interview anywhere else. This is one of the best things to happen the whole year :) 

And a special moment for me as well was on March 31, I got to see Alvvays live. 

April 

In April, I finished hell semester and immediately jetted off to Thailand.

From the get go, the trip was a bit of a shit show. This was my second time to Asia, and my first experience with really planning a trip including flights, hostels, and transportation from place to place without the aid of a tour guide or travel company. We had a time even getting to Bangkok due to an untimely snow storm the day of our departure that forced our flight to Vancouver to be late and causing us to miss our connecting flight to China. After two hours in line at the Air Canada desk, an agent produced a new itinerary for us. Calgary to Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Bangkok. He printed the sheets out and when I looked at the times on the paper, the mental math wasn’t adding up. With me, the mental math never really adds up but this time it seemed impossible that we could leave so much later than planned for our trip and arrive in Bangkok only three hours later than we were supposed to. I brought this up with him and he assured me it was fine. I wasn’t satisfied though, and asked a bunch of other airport personnel the same question. They all said we were fine but lo and behold, we land in Hong Kong and are waiting for the Thai Airlines desk to open so we can retrieve the tickets for the last leg of the journey when the agent there tells us, “They put you on the flight that left yesterday.” Anger and distress ensues. I call Air Canada from the airport in Hong Kong and the call drops. I’m straight up crying on the floor at this point. But in the end – we fucking made it.

In Bangkok, I was welcomed back to the stifling heat and humidity of Asia. We met American doctors-to-be who were at the end of their trip and were totally sick of one another and were very happy to have company. We ate massaman curry for every meal, partied on Khao San Road (those nitrous balloons!!! God, they’re so fun!!), and spent a lot of money on a single cocktail just for a photo op at the top of a skyscraper but the sunset was perfect and it was totally worth it.

In Chiang Mai we drank Sangsom and Coca-Cola by the pool and ate street food out of Styrofoam containers. We met these Americans who were teaching English in Chiang Mai and they took us to a night club on the back of their motorbikes. I did a drug I said I’ve never do in one of the bathrooms at this night club and ended up going home with one of the aforementioned teachers. It was funny to me because at about 3:00pm, Alex and I went back to our hostel to change and get ready for the evening and at that point I said, “I think I’m going to end up hooking up with Cory.” I fucking knew. I KNEW.

In Pai, I had the DIRTIEST hostel experience of my life. I was showering… just fully naked and vulnerable in this nasty ass shower when I saw a bug I did not recognize from my sheltered upbringing crawl out of a hole in the wall. I have never felt more small. It was also 43 degrees and we were staying in a tiny hut with a plug-in fan that only worked half the time and somehow had the effect of making the room hotter? Pai was also the first time we rented motorbikes. It’s honestly so dangerous… like, what the fuck, Thailand. We experienced our first flash rainstorm. We went to a place called Sunset Bar and took mushroom shakes and holy shit I’ve never experienced more potent mushrooms in my entire life. We met our Irish friends who we’d later see in Koh Pha Ngan, and I slept with an Israeli soldier on our second-to-last night and I’m almost 100% certain I took his virginity.

Koh Pha Ngan was alllll thunderstorms. We also decided to splurge a bit on food on this island and gorged ourselves with seafood and lavender Moscow mules at this nice restaurant down the road from our hostel. We partied so hard. We went to the pre-parties for the Full Moon – they have the Waterfall party two nights before, and the Jungle party the night before. I had sex with a total stranger at the Waterfall party up against a rock (when I recounted this story to Steven upon returning home he put on a redneck accent and said, “C’mon baby let me take you down to the fuck rock” and now that’s all I hear when I think about this experience in my head). The Full Moon Party was fun but not AS fun as the pre parties. It wasn’t as wild and the beach is so big but everyone concentrates in one little area. I took some kind of mystery pill (as you can see, I was very safe in Thailand) and had yet another sexual experience with a casual partner. I also witnessed a fight in the taxi back because one girl called another girl a stripper. It was bad.

May 

Continuing on with our Asia trip.

We landed in Krabi and intended fully to chill out a little bit after the wildness of Koh Pha Ngan. The first night was chill, we were staying in the Muslim quarter of the Krabi area so there weren’t a ton of nightclubs to go to and the hostel had some kind of run-in with police and weren’t able to take us out on the pub crawl we signed up for (lame). We had a roommate from Vancouver on the second day who bought a bunch of Xanax from a Thai pharmacy and gave me one. I can never do it again because it was so. good. But of course, I took one pill and stopped drinking just in case. This bitch continued drinking and took six or seven Xanax throughout the night. I honestly don’t know how she lived. We went rock climbing and drank beers on a boat tour one day and it was soooo great. We had the hottest tour guide. I did a hike by my lonesome that I nearly died on.

On the ferry ride from Krabi to Koh Phi Phi is where I got the sunburn that will likely give me skin cancer in later life and kill me. 90 minutes on the outside deck of a ferry (because I felt nauseous as fuck and didn’t want to vom in the cabin) absolutely fucked. me. up. We stayed at another pretty fucking gross hostel in Koh Phi Phi, and my roommates were all male which was a new experience for me. I went on a solo booze cruise cause Alex was sick. We took mushrooms again with our Canadian friend Kelsey and god, I was laughing so hard I was crying and I could not stop. I was like rolling around in the sand laughing so fucking hard about Fisherman’s Friends candy. It was so blissful. So pure.

And then… the sickness. This is going to be TMI but… fuck it. A bit of indigestion and stomach trouble is expected whenever a white person enters Asia. Different microbes etc. etc. But this… this was on a new fucking level. I knew something was up because on the morning that we woke up to take our ferry from Koh Phi Phi to Phuket, I vomited. And I never vomit, and I wasn’t that hungover (especially in relation to much of the rest of the trip). I felt okay afterwards though so we soldiered on. Three hour ferry ride, totally fine. We board our bus that will take us from the ferry port in Phuket to our hotel and about halfway through this bus ride, I feel it. I am wearing overalls. My heart starts beating loudly in my chest, sweat begins to bead on my forehead. Holy fuck, I am going to shit my pants. I clench until we get to the hostel – which is, of course, the last stop. It’s like a solid 45 minutes of pain. My stomach is ROILING. I have never felt anything like it.

I honestly know nothing about Phuket because I spent the entire 72 hours we were there running from my bunk bed to the bathroom. I would go so far as to say every ten minutes. At one point, I just brought my laptop into the washroom with me and watched Netflix for a few hours. A roommate who was with us switched rooms (understandably… I’m sorry, Helen). I didn’t eat for four days, literally not a fucking thing. Just Gatorade and water so that I didn’t die of dehydration. Because we had an airplane to catch and I needed to not be shitting the contents of my body out, I saw a doctor. He prescribed me like five different medications and told me just to take like eight of these pills and to expect stomach pain but it would at least get me through the flight to Seoul and hopefully home.

It worked, and we spent the last few days of our trip in Seoul. What an absolutely fascinating and beautiful part of the world. With Kieun as our guide, we got to see the best parts of Seoul. People took photos with us and gave us free shit. I had the absolute best meal of my life (it was the first thing I’d eaten in like four days… I really risked it all with the Korean barbecue honestly…). All-you-can-eat thick fatty slices of pork belly, grilled in front of us and dipped in sesame oil and salt with garlic and spices. Spicy chicken feet on the side, corn with cheese. It was wild. I cannot believe I stomached it.

And on May 12th, we returned home back to our lives and school and work and all of that boring ass shit. I remained ill for a solid six weeks upon returning home. To a lesser degree, I still have not fully recovered. At this point, I am unsure if I ever will. I truly think that second-round Asia gave me skin cancer and permanently altered my gastrointestinal functioning. Worth it? Unsure. But it happened nonetheless.

June 

My brother graduated from university and won a very prestigious award and it was very nice to watch him cross the stage and hear a nice speech about his accomplishments (he won so many scholarships that he basically had a free ride to school – I think it’s clear who inherited the brains).

I finished up my spring courses. Can I just say - spring courses are the worst? The two I picked were especially bad. The one about human sexuality was basically Sex Ed 101 which made for an easy A but I was hoping to investigate deeper on a number of topics. And the second one was way too hard for my tiny brain to accommodate and I got the lowest mark I’ve ever gotten on my paper and it brought me down.

I had a very random unexpected night where I slept with a really close friend of mine (like, friends for over a decade) who I used to have a little bit of a crush on in high school. We were very drunk and it was kind of a curiosity-satisfying move that has actually not resulted in a very big change to our relationship at all but I think it’s worth mentioning because younger me would have been stoked. This one’s for you, younger me!

We went to the High River Rodeo and Cabaret – another unexpected move but oh my god it was so fun. Matt, Steven, Amanda and I. You could buy as many beers as you wanted at a time and they were cheap because fuck the AGLC apparently. The rodeo was actually super fun. The cabaret was redneck af and I happened to see my roommate from the hostel in Koh Phi Phi and his buddies there? Although it was not a friendly reunion because I had unknowingly exposed him for cheating on his girlfriend when he was in Phi Phi (which he did. I shared a room with him, and the girl he loudly banged every night until 4am). Two-stepping ensued and I passed out in the car ride home. I have a great photo of Steven from this night next to a bottle of hot sauce. I do not recall why. I will include it below. 

July 

Okay, I am just going to preface this by saying July was a hot mess. 

Myself, Madison, Maeghan, and Cayley were all single and messing around on dating apps so we decided to create Tinder bingo. It’s exactly what it sounds like. The rules were that you could only cross off two things per date (so that you had to go on a minimum of three to win), you got bonus points for going on a Tinder date with the same person someone else had gone out with, and the first to win got their drinks paid for on a night out. So, I went on exactly one Tinder date. Which is something I said I’ve never do and never really saw myself doing but I went for it on this occasion because I think that in this day and age, a Tinder date is an experience everyone should have. So I bit the bullet, and went for a drink with this guy James at the Oak Tree Tavern. And oh... my god? What a terrible experience? LAUGHABLY terrible. His only desired topic of conversation were the nationalities of people I had slept with and in what circumstances. At one point he asked me, “when was the last time you had sex? Was it good?” He also talked at maximum volume and I guarantee you everyone else at that bar overheard our conversation. Midway through the date, he asked for a review of how he was doing and I told him he seemed a bit nervous. This angered him. He said, “I’M NOT NERVOUS” and I was like, “you asked, buddy.” He asked me if I would pay for him. Cayley literally had to come rescue me and I ran out of his car where he had unbuttoned his pants and had his dick out and was literally on the verge of tears begging me to touch it so hard. I literally bolted out of his car and he yelled out the window, “CALL ME!” He still hits me up on instagram sometimes. I hope his life gets better. 

I also moved again. This is my favourite living situation I’ve ever had. Great roommates who are almost never home. Cute house. Good location. A+ choice by me. 

I got really obsessed with the Thai cave rescue. It was just such a compelling and unique STORY and I would literally come home from work and refresh the BBC live update feed for hours until I fell asleep, then I’d wake up and refresh hoping for good news. I cannot wait for the movie. I will go opening day. #Obsessions 

Stampede!!! Oh my god, what a wonderful Stampede. The most memorable thing is that Steven and I went to the standing rodeo one afternoon and got absolutely. fucking. hammered. Whilst there, we met and befriended two Australian retirees named Lyn and Ken. They are rich and are obsessed with horseriding and rodeo stuff. They purchased many drinks for us and we convinced them to come to Nashville North with us, where they purchased MORE drinks for us and Steven attempted to show them how to two-step. They later invited me to go horseback riding in Banff and I accepted. They literally picked me up, drove me to Banff, we crushed two bottles of wine at the Park gin distillery, went on a three-hour horseback ride through the mountains, they drove me home and I paid for NONE OF IT. It was........ a day. I sat on my bed later and thought to myself, “that was fucking weird.” But now, if I ever go to Melbourne, I will hit them up. 

It was Ali’s birthday and we went camping in Waiparous. We took mushrooms on Saturday and just as they were beginning to fully kick in, the RCMP rolled in and kicked us out of our campsite. What a wild time to be faced with an interaction with the cops. Also - no one could drive except for two people who had stayed sober and they had to shuttle us to a new campsite. Have you ever tried setting up a tent on mushrooms? Do you know how difficult and hilarious it is? 

And lastly at the end of July, I went to Folk Fest. I saw Alvvays again. Front row! Like, against the barrier front row. It was awesome. It was folk fest that inspired me to cut my hair and get bangs again. No regrets. I love my bangs. I also experienced a level of street harassment that I didn’t know was possible from some random, innocent-seeming guy. It was terrifying. I called the police. No bueno. 

August 

In August, I got promoted at my job and basically became a baby manager. It was better in theory than in practice because my shifts got longer, I made less in tips (but more hourly), and the cash out for a restaurant is a long and frustrating process that depends on a lot of small pieces working together correctly in a big ass spreadsheet and I suck at math.

In happier news – August was also the establishment of podcast club. Podcast club is one of the best and dorkiest things I have ever been involved with. We pick a podcast each week to listen to, and get together on Sunday mornings at 10:00am to discuss the contents of the podcast. It was initially open to whomever wanted to come but has since whittled down to a core group and at this point, we’re all so close that it would almost be weird to introduce a new person into the mix. There is Kendal, who I go to school with and who started the whole club. Her boyfriend, Mitch. Lachlan and Maddy who are siblings. Matt, a YouTuber who was kind of a wildcard. Chad, also kind of a wildcard but who works as a youth counsellor – and me! Podcast club has made my life infinitely better and is probably the best thing to come out of 2018, in all honesty.

I also got obsessed with Harry Potter and read like almost the whole series and my new at the time roommates thought I was such a loser because I would literally post up on the couch in the living room with a HP book and they would come back five hours later and I hadn’t moved and all I wanted to talk about was Harry Potter. 

September / October / November 

I am lumping these three months together in this review because truly, they are lumped together in my mind and heart. 

On September 11, I started my first practicum at CommunityWise. I really had no idea what to expect when I started there but looking back, I cannot believe how hard I lucked out. The U of C is VERY clinically-based when it comes to how it educates and describes the practice of social work. CW was the opposite of it all and day-to-day so much happens there that it is honestly impossible not to get dragged in at such a deep level that it literally forces you to care. When I was in practicum, I did a lot of reading and I came across this concept of a “disorienting dilemma” which is “an experience within which a current understanding is found to be insufficient or incorrect and the learner struggles with the resulting conflict of views. Such experiences often are those to which learners point as the beginning of the process of questioning their understanding and views and entering the transformative learning process” (Source). Truly, being in that space over the course of 300 hours created this for me. I was forced to confront a lot of racist and otherwise problematic shit that I have been brought up with and that comes up in small ways for me that I try and quash down for the sake of saving face. Poverty, addiction, mental health issues showed up LITERALLY on the doorstep and I was thrown into it all. The experience was a disorienting dilemma and it shook me out of my bubble and I have never fallen so deeply in love with social work. My supervisor and I formed a VERY close relationship that probably broke some ethical and professional boundaries and she was there for me to discuss social issues and experiences I was having in an honest way that really deconstructed things. I had my debit card stolen by a client on one occasion, had to call the DOAP team because I witnessed people in overdose more times than I can count, had to talk many a person down from suicide, befriended a very mentally ill person who suffers from delusions that they are an alien in a human body sent here to observe earth and report back to their master. We had to kick someone out of a workshop for being racist. It was a wild ride, honestly. There were many many positive things to come out of practicum. I built my professional network in ways I never would have been able to, I was able to move out of the “student” realm and step into the role of a social worker and advocate and professional. I did a lot of public speaking! I was out in the community talking to a million different people. I made videos and posters. And the best part of all is that even when my practicum ended, my connection to CW did not. They have hired me on as a digital storytelling intern (paid!) for the new year. Which is a major confidence boost and I just love CW and everyone there so much. I will literally be forever grateful to them for taking me under their collective wing and showing me I have the skills and abilities to be an effective social worker :) 

Ahem. Now on to some not-so-good things... 

The end of October was kind of difficult because I was attempting to manage practicum responsibilities, actual class projects and homework, second-round practicum interviews, and Famoso. I was very stressed out and it was not good, especially because I got a rejection from one interview and didn’t even get an interview at my top choice. I was feeling very sorry for myself and may or may not have cried at my desk at practicum. It all worked out in the end though, and actually I was offered a placement at the first place I interviewed – they just took a while to get back to me. She called me to let me know this while I was on a run and being idiot me, I picked up… panting and gasping for air in Nose Hill Park. She was like, “We’d like to offer you the place… wait, are you okay?”

I would also like to just slide it in here that I slept with my ex in October. Which wasn’t a particularly momentous occasion and was actually kind of funny because it felt so much like a one night stand. I am mostly putting this in here because I don’t think many people know that and I want to see who reads this far.

Along similarish lines – I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE AND ASKED SOMEONE ON A STRAIGHT UP DATE AND GOT REJECTED AND IT WAS HONESTLY SO EMBARASSING AND BRUTAL and it’s okay now but oh… my god. This also happened around the same time as the rejections from practicum placements and I had such a bad night where I got drunk on my couch alone and Cayley brought me burnt ends from her new job at a brewery because she was #concerned for me and I didn’t want to be alone. That’s a true friend right there.

December 

December is only halfway done - but I feel I can summarize it accurately. It has been a nice, tidy wrap up to the year. A month of podcasts, cleaning my house and my car and my life up, a mysterious knee injury that is really fucking me up, working a lot at Famoso, finishing my practicum and school semester. One thing I am dreading is that my brother’s girlfriend who our family is not particularly fond of will be joining us in Saskatoon this year. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. 

In General 

2018 has been very stressful for me. But despite the stress, and sometimes out of it, have come some very nice, beautiful things. I said last year in my post that I wanted to become more deeply involved in my community and in activism and social work and in that way I think I have excelled. I’m in it now, you guys. I feel capable. I feel motivated. I feel CONFIDENT. And I’m fucking excited to see what comes in the future. 

I nearly doubled the amount of people I’ve slept with so that’s... a notable thing that happened this year. 

It has been nice to feel a return to a sense of belonging with my old high school group of friends. In a way, I feel more united with them than ever. I guess not having a partner that they all hate helps. But also, I think I’ve just been feeling more and more like myself. But to Connor, Steven, Matt, Adam and the assortment of new(er) members that come and go - I am very grateful for you all. It has also been good for my heart and soul to become so close with people from podcast club. It’s actually like... really hard to make new friends. Podcast club made it easy. And I found myself on a Friday night in Maddy and Ben’s apartment, watching cooking shows and teaching them how to play card games, laughing until I cried and drinking wine. And it’s like... who else gets together on EVERY Sunday morning to discuss podcasts? For fun? I know relationships change and dissolve and grow from each year to the next but I just have a deep feeling that some of these friendships are the real deal. And I’m really lucky. It sounds so ~fake deep~ and lame but honestly podcast club is making me a better, happier, less anxious person. 

2019: 

I think 2019 is going to have to be the year that I really, truly grow the fuck up. I’m not mad about this. I look forward to crushing through 400 more hours of practicum, graduating and getting my degree. Hopefully entering the work force for real (this prospect is honestly so exciting to me... I creep the job boards every day daydreaming about what I might eventually do when I leave the world of waitressing) and making some adult money. 

I also like... totally got fat in 2018 so 2019 will involve some activities to counterbalance this. AND I have a ticket to Big Valley Jamboree. Which is hilarious because I think if you asked 2015 Megan what she’d never do, it would be “go to BVJ” but here I am, ticket in hand, excitement mounting by the day. Boots on, bitches. 

Some of my goals or things I’d like to work on in 2019 are to become less attached to social media and more invested in the actual moment/doing of things rather than recording them (ironic as I type this MASSIVE year in review post, yes), to get into a healthy and sustainable pattern of exercise where I don’t just like become obsessed with it for a little while and then slowly taper off and then do none of it for like six months... and honestly? I want to download a bunch of those dating apps again and just go for it. I think you can learn so much about yourself through dating and I’ve been such a recluse this year for the most part because I have been sort-of-but-not seeing someone since literally JULY but we’re not actually together and I don’t know what’s going on. I just need to get over my own insecurities and anxiety and just jump in with both feet. It’ll be fun. It’ll be crazy. I’m excited. 

The rest of it, as always, is an open book. Who knows where I will be, what I will be doing, or who I will be doing it with by this time next year? Not I. 

[independentartistbuzz]

Indie 5-0: 5 Questions with Urban Fu$e

Urban Fu$e are a driven group that comes together from around the world. The brainchild of songwriter, director and producer Suzanna Lam, the artist collective brings an insightful and harmonious vision into the world. Each and every song penned, the group brings a distinct and harmonious message to the table. As the tracks are gorgeously and skillfully crafted, the spirit behind Urban Fu$e is most definitely one that will draw you in immediately. Their current hit single “Splurge,” is a welcoming song to all that listen, as they gain attention around the world. We had the distinct honor of catching up with Suzanna, alongside Micheal-P and Nyu-kyung before the weekend, as they explains the process behind Urban Fu$e, and how Lam helps keep it all together.

1. What is the inspiration behind your new single , and did you draw the piece from a personal place?

Suzanna:  Our next single, Runaway, which will be dropped on 3/29 this year, is a heartbroken song.  I was inspired by a true story I saw on Youtube that happened back in the 60's or 70's in which a beautiful actress was caught cheating on her husband and caused quite a scandal, especially for the guy.  In that story the guy (the husband) was broken hearted, cried, pleaded her to come back to him with the kids and he would forgive her but she never did. So I wrote the song building on the idea that the protagonist wants to runaway because he's so embarrassed that his love subject sees him cry after they broke up. We intentionally have a male vocalist on the track because we feel crying is a very natural process when someone is hurt physically and emotionally so it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, you have the ability to cry and that's OK, not a taboo as in "boys don't cry" kinda attitude.  As a matter of fact, crying is just a way for the body to rebalance the chemicals in the body when it goes through an emotional shock so there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about it.  That's why we had  female rapper coming on the track to tell him just that toward the end of the song.  OK now we spill too much beans on this song LOL.

2. When creating the track, how long did it take to accomplish from start to finish?

Suzanna:  wow, I wrote this piece back in 2015 on my piano. I didn't really think much about it until earlier last year 2018 when I started to make a commitment to make music my new found career.  Since then, it has gone through numerous revisions at least 10 during 4 years.  The actually instrumental arrangement of the track went through about 5-6 revisions.  We tried all sorts of sounds and finally we settled on what you will hear as our pop mix.  In addition to that, we also have a retro rock mix and American rock mix.  Tell us what mix you like the best.

3. At what age did you realize that music is a career you wanted to pursue; what was your 'ah-ha' moment?

Nyu-Kyung: It was actually only last year when I realized that music was the career I wanted to pursue. I have been making music since I was 9 but only recently thought about making it a career. I dropped my first tape entitled “Resume” and it garnered some serious local buzz without any real promotion. That’s when I realized how much people really enjoyed my music and that is when I knew I was born to be an artist.

Micheal-P: in my early 20's

Suzanna:  it didn't come to me until last year around April or May time frame.  My ah-ha moment was after I attended a self-help seminar back in late 2017 when I learned I could actually create a new reality for myself if I wanted to.  It took me a few months to actually rearrange my personal commitments before I could get started in music because I was finishing up my second book in the Millionaire Baby: Cracking the Wealth Code series and also I was right in the middle of a busy tax season.  

4. Who are your musical inspirations; what artists inspired you to start your career and find your musical passion? Nyu-Kyung: My musical inspirations are Michael Jackson, 2Pac, Biggie, and 50 Cent. These are the first artists I ever listened to and they were the reason why I started making music.Suzanna: Madona is actually my idol.  I really like her "oldies in the 80's.  I read her biography when I was in college and always thought wow I wish I could be strong mentally and physically like her and become successful in a music career spanning several decades like her.   5. What other treats do you have in store for us This year? Can we expect videos or a new record? We're dropping another single on 4/12, a hiphop/rap genre track called Freedom.  This track was actually written by a very talented artist in Cameroon, (Micheal-P), with collaboration of two other artists, one from Canada (Nyu-Kyung) and another (D of NKI) is from the US.  We don't want to spill the beans but you'll be very surprised at the way we pacckage this track, probably the first of its kind in this genre. Followed this single is an EP of which Runaway and Freedom are part, which is to be released on May 24.  And absolutely we're continuing to release music videos for songs we feel warrant a music video to help with the visual.   Follow & Listen to Urban Fu$e online:

Instagram:http://instagram.com/urbanfusemusic Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1ib3pc2jbMI9uF32U4RuGQ?si=JOeWGTj3Sg2Ba1GLnLT3ag iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/ke/album/cant-steal-my-deal-single/1438356364 Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/urbanfusemusic

[riannagalvez]

Hello, dolls! Hello, April! We all survived March, I think we all deserve a pat on the back. The past month seems like a blur to me. It’s astonishing how things have turned out because of COVID-19 for the entire world. Months ago, I would always look forward to getting an extra day off from work so I can pick up Little A from school. Now, we are still unsure if he will be able to go back to school anytime soon.

Baby C is turning one next month and I know we are not going to be able to throw a party for her. I have decided to postpone it since I know things are not going to be easy for most of our friends and families once this COVID19 situation is all over. Luckily, I am kind of a pro when it comes to simple celebrations at home so I know we can make it scrapbook worthy for her still.

If you are like us who have to cancel party planning and settle for a more intimate at-home party, here are a couple of tips I learned over the years.

Growing up, my parents put emphasis on celebrating as a family more than gifts. We were given the birthday presents that we wanted but it was never over the top that we had to have a big party every year. Birthdays are more than presents. I learned that growing up and honestly I think it helped me value family time even more.

Balloons

For me, a birthday is not complete without balloons. Little A finds it fascinating too so we always get him one. Over the years I have gotten him whatever he is currently into like Lightning McQueen.

Foil balloons are great because they last a long time and you can reuse them if deflated properly.

Birthday Specialties

One thing I look forward to the most on my birthday is the food I’ll eat especially for dinner. My parents always cooked my favorites on my birthday and I remember feeling so special!

It is a tradition for my family to eat spaghetti (for long life according to Chinese proverb) and fried chicken. What’s not to love about these two dishes as a kid? Now that it is my turn to do special things for Little A on his birthday, I make sure we have his favorites on his birthday too! Of course, as a one-year-old, he did not have any favorites yet so these are dishes that he will like in the future — and if he decides that he doesn’t like them, it is completely okay.

Grandparents

If you can, include your little one’s grandparents. The look on Little A’s face is priceless when he is around his. I feel blessed that my Mom has been around since he was born because I honestly don’t know how I could have survived being a new Mom if she wasn’t.

They give the sweetest surprises too! My Mom gifted Little A a convertible bike for his first birthday and I like how it can grow with him.

Stay Connected

Little A loves talking to his Aunts and Uncles. We make sure they are also present during his birthday even when they are miles away. Lucky for us, it is very easy to stay connected because of Facetime.

Gift Ideas

When a friend asked me what she can give Little A for his first birthday, I could’ve sent her a list of toys little boys would go crazy for, but I did not. He will be getting a lot of toys over the years and not a lot of friends or family actually ask what they can give as a gift so whenever I get the chance, I say “necessities” would be great.

Trust me, with the pool of gifts he will be opening, I know he will only care about the first two toys he’ll open and the rest will be forgotten. To minimize my headache in the future and be a practical parent as well, I stick to items that I know Little A would actually use.

I LOVE this gift set my friend Buen gave him. It has everything that he needs from body wash to sanitizers.

My guilty pleasure as a parent is splurging on clothes for my little ones. I truly understand the saying “they grow up too fast” very well because they do! However, shopping for baby/kid clothes gives me joy! Seriously, I am obsessed with planning their outfits! I sometimes feel like I spend more on them than myself now lol

Here are some of my brands if you want to treat your little one with special clothes 😛

Ralph Lauren and Janie and Jack

RL and JJ are staples in Little A’s closet, you can never go wrong with these brands. I love the classic style of Ralph Lauren from casual to formal. Janie and Jack stay seasonal with their designs and my all-time favorite is their nautical collection (because it goes with Little A’s room :P).

Birthdays are special so I sometimes go on an “I-am-such-an-extra-Mom” shopping sprees and get something more upscale. Burberry stays classy with their collection. It’s nice to have something for special occasions.

Gap is a cool brand to add to your little one’s closet too. They have everything that can complete your baby’s wardrobe.

I am also obsessed with Zara. I love how I can shop for the entire family in one trip. The styles are to die for and I look forward to every collection.

Keeping it casual

Babies stay home at least 80% of the time so comfy loungewear like pajamas or cute sets are great gifts because you know they will be able to use it more than any cute outfit from one of the brands I mentioned above.

Accessories

I am a sucker for socks. We have a “no shoe policy” around the house so we all have our indoor slippers. Little A prefers to wear socks so I stock up on them because he could easily wear two pairs in a day.

I always feel guilty when the kids get cold during brr months. As a parent, it is my responsibility to dress them appropriately for the weather. I love getting mittens and hats for the babies because I know these are things that we often forget when shopping for clothes. Keep them in the drawer because you’ll never know when you’ll need them!

Theme

To make planning easier, think of a theme that your baby will love. I still like to decorate even though we are not going to have company over to set up the atmosphere for the celebrant. Babies are home most of the time and I am pretty sure they get bored of the same little corner they see.

Quality Time

The best gift you can give your baby is to be present. Little A loves to read books so we had several storytimes on his birthday. He may not remember everything that we did for him but I know he felt extra loved — which makes this Mama’s heart full.

Cake

A birthday is not complete without a cake. If you want to be safe, bake! It makes it even more special with this simple gesture. I am not the best cake baker but I do it every year for A and Little A.

Don’t feel pressured to make it yourself though, it’s totally okay to buy a delicious cake from your favorite bakery or grocery.

No matter what you do, your baby will only need you ❤

xx

R ❤

    FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY (AT HOME) + GIFT IDEAS Hello, dolls! Hello, April! We all survived March, I think we all deserve a pat on the back.

[serena-waldorf]

Can I ask why you probably wouldn’t be able to go? I’m hoping to myself 😩

(Caution: long answer ahead 😂)

Honestly just financial and life reasons right now. If it was an event that you had to buy tickets for like a speaking event, I'm guessing they'd be pricy judging from how much the two other Hillary events I went to cost and I don't have a lot of money right now. My seasonal retail job just ended last week and they didn't have the hours to keep me on after Christmas. And between Christmas presents, holiday social gatherings and not getting as many hours at that job as I anticipated, I'm still not left with a ton of money right now despite having a job for the last month. And obviously I'm gonna start job searching again but I haven't had a good track record with finding a well paying job the past few years 😫😂 I mean I feel good things are in store for 2020 but I also feel like I won't find anything any time soon and even if I find another retail or grocery store job as an another in between jobs kind of thing, I still won't be making a lot of money probably 😥 AND I bought Hamilton tickets for when the Canadian tour comes to my city in the winter so a lot of my savings went to that and I spent more money than I intended to on those tickets so that was kind of like my splurge/treat myself kind of once a year event for me this year.

And yeah obviously I don't know yet where I'll be money and job wise by March or April but I made peace with the fact that if Hillary and Chelsea do an event in Toronto for Gutsy Women or the children's book, that I'd be okay skipping out this time since I've already been lucky enough to see Hillary twice. And I like and admire Chelsea a lot but honestly, I'm not invested in Chelsea enough to HAVE to see or meet Chelsea. I've seen Hillary twice and Bill once so that was enough for me for now lol. A few years ago Chelsea was doing a book signing by herself for one of her children's books not too far from my house (in the suburbs surprisingly) and I couldn't be bothered to go even though it wasn't too far from home and it wasn't downtown lol.

But I wouldn't totally rule out going if they came depending on my financial and job situation in a few months. Like I said, I can't predict the future. If they were coming and I had a job or extra money come the spring, then I'd be interested but if I'm still unemployed or don't have the financial means at that time, then I'm okay with that too 🤷

But I will think positive thoughts for you, anon, my fingers and toes are crossed for you! Hopefully you get your chance!

[kellamundo]

Alright so here we go.

This’ll be long.

It’s been rough. Very rough. Especially these last few months. January-End of March was super crappy. Then from April to maybe July it was steady for me (still rough but not enough to put me in the slump i was in) but then once August dropped in it went downhill and is still downhill. So i had around 3-4 months ( 1/3 or 1/4 of the year) be okay.

Anyways, enough intro. So i went on a splurge today and dropped like $150 on an outfit and next week i plan to drop another $100 (i get paid this upcoming week) on like things to baby myself like a face mask and a haircut and maybe a new coat or something. I dont usually spend so much on myself but i am now ig.

I know that this isnt good, retail therapy and all. But idk what else i can do. Here’s what i HAVE been doing/trying to do.

1.) Reading. Ive been reading and that’s been pretty good for me lately. Sometimes i slip up but overall im proud that i can make myself read, even if it’s 2-3 pages. I try to read a little bit at least 2-3 a week. I dont beat myself up for it cuz it beats how i was before which was legit skipping class and staying in bed all day and etc doing nothing. At least i can escape in a book.

2.) Face masks. I’ve been trying to use them once a week. And so far ive been keeping up with it. It’s calming to me and it’s helping my skin. My skin has gotten really bad in the past few months and ik it’s because of stress and my depression...but yeah. It’s calming and also helps my skin so yay.

3.) Dancing. I’ve been dancing once a week to try to lose weight and theres been times where i ABSOLUTELY dont wana go and skipped. But for like 12 classes i only skipped 2. So im kinda proud of myself. Granted i signed up for 2 classes and skipped 10/12 for the other class but lets not mention that one lol. Next signup day i’ll just take one so i dont force myself so badly.

4.) Water/Healthy foods. I have made my diet a horrible one. I know it. And i started drinking soda again (ruining my year streak of just water). But recently ive been trying to get back into drinking water and though when im feeling down i wana grab a soda ive just been doing milk or like juices instead. But yeah im tryna go back to water only. So i think thats helping myself out too. And i’m guna try salad once a week and eventually do 2 and try to eat healthier slowly. (I work at fast food so all i eat is junk now and ive been overdoing it lately). Oh yeah! And i’ve been trying to eat at least twice a day. I either starve myself and eat once and it isnt a healthy meal or eat multiple times very u healthily so im trying to balance with 2 meals a day. At least, for now

5.) With my depression ive been avoiding all types of friend interaction. Idk what happened tbh but i almost never hang out with friends anymore. I just go to school, work, dance once a week, and home. But i think this November i’m going to try to reach out and be with people again...even though it’s getting colder and i wont wana be outside. But ik thats something i should try doing.

But, i wana do at least one more thing. Does anyone have any ideas? I dont wana stick with retail therapy and screw myself over ya know? I feel like i should do one more thing but idk what..

Any recommendations?

[fortheloveofrkposts]

I believe we went here in April but I could be wrong but that doesn’t even matter with what I'm about to tell you about Vernick!!

So my brother graduated nursing school and this is where he wanted to go for this accomplishment. Vernick is one of Philly’s top rated restaurants and also one of the hardest to get reservations for. Like you need to book months in advance. Luckily my brother and step dad know the owner so we were able to get a reservation with like two week notice. I cannot tell you enough how this restaurant changed my life. Yes it is expensive but I'm telling you it is beyond worth it. 

Ill go with descriptions of what I dont have pictured first. Due to us having connections with the owner we were given a couple of the breads with spreads that they have. I love bread and go to a lot of restaurants or it like Red Lobster lol. But these were too much different and I'm not going to lie they weren't all my favorites but they definitely are worth trying a couple. I can't suggest to you what to get because we had like 4 different ones shared among 6 of us and the menu does change occasionally. 

Another thing that is not pictured is a MUST get and always on the menu. The organic Amish Chicken. I tried some of my brothers and boy I’ve never had a chicken taste like that and believe I won't again until my next trip back. It had the perfect spices and was tender and juicy. SOMEBODY at the table needs to get this and I suggest splurging for the whole so you have some left for the next day. 

The picture of my entree is the veal they had on the menu. TO DIE FOR I swear. The veal was cooked to a medium which was perfect they didn't ask you the temperature you wanted it to be cooked at because the chefs know exactly how to cook the meat. It was almost a melt in your mouth quality. Along with the veal were white asparagus and a couple potato rosti. There’s not much to say about white asparagus unless you don't like regular green asparagus and that is that it has a much milder flavor and worth the try if you haven’t before, and a potato rosti is pretty much a fried mashed potato stick but it was battered and seasoned perfectly and with the little jus of the veal that dropped on it since the veal was laid on top made it that much more amazing. I would eat four  of these and not regret it. The biggest regret of this dish was honestly that it ended and there was none left to take home. 

The desert is a simple brownie and vanilla ice cream which I normally won't get but decided when in Rome right. I was honestly shocked with how moist the brownie was by itself and the flavor. Being that I enjoy cooking and food I'm well aware that people say coffee enhances the flavor of chocolate but never tried it because I don’t enjoy coffee, with this brownie I had no choice and shockingly it was one of the best brownies I've had outside of the box ones I make myself (magic fingers with box baking lol). The ice cream was regular vanilla and complemented the brownie well of course .

I have to talk about atmosphere and staff because that is something that will make or break my whole thought of a restaurant especially one that is named one of the best and is pricey as well. 

This is one of the best restaurants I've ever been in and this is a lot from someone who prefers cruise line restaurants compared to many in state restaurants (I'll give a story on that later). Center City doesn’t have a lot of huge real estate so most restaurants and shops and take out spaces are working in very little square footage and a lot you can tell and feel that. But it was completely different with Vernick. You can very well see with the lighting and sleek modern design and open kitchen that the owner was mindful of the fact that there was limited space to work in. I was only on the first floor but can only imagine that the upstairs has the same design. 

The staff was excellent. I’m a server and my brother has been a server and my dad and step dad works in hospitality and my mom understands the struggle through us, my grandmom on the other hand just isn't used to fancy restaurants unless she goes out with my brother and I. I know that sounds like were uppity and snobs but were not we've just had the opportunity to eat and see nice places because thats what we save for and enjoy so we make it work. But I digress back to the staff. Their uniforms were super neat and they looked comfortable which is awesome nothing like having a job at a great restaurant and then having to wear a uniform that is difficult to work in. They even got to wear converses as their footwear. But aside from that they were attentive and knowledgeable and polite. Also they didn't hover even given the space, well lack there of. Overall they were amazing and I made sure to let the owner know that. 

Needless to say I cannot wait to get myself and whoever back into Vernick and if I could make that a yearly or more spot I totally would and it would be worth it. 

Rating: Off the charts Im not even going to disgrace this amazing restaurant with a number score 

[jamieloveharris]

& i thought changing my relationship status would be hard....

i REALLY didn’t want to have to write this. i’ve gone back & forth because part of me wants to be the bigger person and let karma do it’s just job. and other part - straight savage. as you may (or may not) know, i was supposed to get married in november. if you’re hoping this is the story of that, go ahead and click that X bc it’s not. howeverrrrr....when i got engaged, i moved pretty fast and went ahead and booked whatever i could, one of those being a photographer. this particular photographer i had obsessed over for years. literally my fam got some pics made probably 8 or so years ago and he was fairly new and i remember calling him to get pricing details. so since then, i’ve followed his work on social media etc and he’s crazy talented. so when i reached out and he was available, i was ecstatic. he’s pricey but if you know me, i love pictures and i was willing to splurge on a good photographer. everyone’s advise was always, “its all you’ll have left of the day, splurge.” anyhow, we emailed back and forth about pricing, packages, etc & spoke on the phone once, and he told me that he was doing things a little different now due to taking a full time job and trying to balance work/family life. you see, his wife is a photographer as well and equally as amazing and instead of shooting separately, they started to shoot together (if you choose 2 shooters) so they wouldn’t always be away from each other during the busy season of photography, allowing them to “drop their prices” some (LOL). so, long story short I said lets do it, and sent him the deposit. the schedule is as follows:

25% immediate deposit ($1,050)

25% 60 days before wedding date ($1,050)

50% remainder due 2 weeks before wedding ($2,100)

on january 20, what we agreed to was a total of $4,200 ($4,000 wedding package) + $200 (extra one hour if needed). so, I sent him $1,050 which is 25% of the total amount via paypal. the next payment wasnt “due” until technically september 18 - 60 days prior to the wedding which he stated in an email to me as well. i wanted to go ahead and try to get ahead so on March 17, I emailed him asking if it was okay to go ahead and send him more money (that wasn’t “due” until 9/18) and he was very eager to say “Well sure. You can send me as much as you want as often as you want :) “ Yeah, i bet so.

DISCLAIMER: in his defense, it DOES say in the contract I signed that in the event the client cancels for reasons out of the control of the photographer before completion of services, photographer retains all funds collected to date” I tell you this because I want to be completely transparent with all relevant details since this is basically a story of morality, and not money.

stay with me. SO, unfortunately I called off the wedding at the beginning of april. imaginably so, it’s a very emotionally draining situation and at that point, I knew I had already lost a lot of money (on venue, catering, band, dress, etc) so i was just trying to recoup anything that I could. it’s just money but at the same time, ya girl isn’t rich so being able to get anything back I could would be more than helpful. I had paid extra towards my venue  as well and when I reached out to her (s/o to Bonnie - you’re the best), she immediately went out of her way to go to the bank and deposit the money back that wasn’t owed yet, but i had chosen to pay before it was due. my caterer also refunded what he could, minus the required deposit and wrote me truly the sweetest email saying he was praying for me and my situation and would be happy to refund fully if he rebooked the date. ya know, being a good person and doing what’s “right,” in my unprofessional opinion. let’s get to the good stuff...okay so, I had chosen on my own free will to send said photographer (cough cough ROB INGRAM cough cough) an extra $1,000 on March 17 via paypal. keep in mind, it wasn’t due until september and he wasn’t using that money for anything relative to my wedding. afterall, we were only using him for the wedding - no engagement or bridal pictures or anything. that was 2 weeks before I called off the wedding. 

April 1, i emailed him asking protocol on if he would refund any payment that was made outside of the non-refundable deposit. I was aware i wouldn’t get the original $1,050 back and that’s fair business. to be honest, i didn’t read the fine print on the contract because who thinks you’ll need to cancel ya know? not me. {{ LESSON LEARNED }}.  and this is where sh!t hit the fan. it’s LONG, but if you’re still reading you’ll probably be intrigued to find out the rest of the story right? so for your reading pleasure, i’ll copy and paste the string of emails between Rob and I from that date forward. 

i’d like to preface this with some of my thoughts. first, contractually he doesn’t owe me any of the extra $1,000 that i paid him. i get that. morally, in my opinion, he does. afterall - he has to sleep with himself at night and live knowing he essentially stole $1,000 from someone he performed ZERO services for, not even so much as meeting for a cup of coffee. i’d also like to point out the fact that it was less than 2 weeks after I sent him the $1,000 that i asked about him refunding it. my theory is that he had already spent it therefore he didn’t have it to give back.i feel like as a human being, it’s our duty to be kind, and compassionate. maybe i’m crazy but the “right” thing to do would have been to do exactly what Bonnie did - give it back. it’s not yours. you did nothing for me, rob, except make me completely devalue you as a professional and as a person in general. again - I GET IT - by contract, he didnt have to give it back. but as a person, it would have been the right thing to do. it’s hard not for me to go postal up in this blog about it, but i think i’ll let his words speak for themselves. he demoralized woman, condescended me as a person, and said very offensive things about my friends whom he does not know. he didn’t want to add salt to the wound (after he took him over a week to respond btw - inclusive of a text and follow up email from me) but he would be glad to credit at least part of the payment “for when I do get married.” ya know what Rob? F OFF. Do you think that’s what i’m thinking about right now? do you think 1. I would ever use you as a photographer IF i do get married one day? and 2. do you think i’m studying my next wedding right now? NO. BYE.  and that’s just the tip of the iceberg my friends. in the end, HE SUGGESTED that he would pay me on the 1st of the month $100/month for 5 months starting in May to prove his integrity (HA HA HA HA) because that’s all he could afford to do regardless of if he rebooked that date or not. Fair enough, and I thanked him for that gesture. I had to follow up with him, which is extremely awkward by the way, asking about the payment. truthfully, it’s not even about the money at this point but about doing what you say you’re going to do. he FINALLY paid my my first payment on May 19th (18 days after promised date). he lied saying it was “set to transfer” on the 15th of May, which i actually don’t think is even a real possibility with paypal after talking to other professional business owners who use Paypal as their method of payment, but that’s neither here nor there at this point. In June, i received $100 on June 16. After that, NADA, ZERO, ZILCH. Let me repeat - it’s not about the money at this point. it’s about doing the right thing.  I’ve sent several emails to him asking to simply let me know if he doesn’t plan to fulfill his promise to let me know. again, NO RESPONSE. i swear i’ll quit rambling but my final thought is this....if you want to maintain your integrity that you swore you have, then do what you say you’re gonna do. Simple as that. and if you don’t plan to do said thing, have the decency to at least let that person know. if you plan to keep reading, start at the bottom of the email chain below and read up. PLEASE READ HIS LONG EMAIL CAREFULLY. I cannot stress enough how unprofessional, rude, demeaning, and downright ugly it was. I’ve never been more turned off from something in my life. ENJOY!!! :)

On Sept 18, 2017, at 12:44 PM, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Rob, I didn't hear back from you so I'm going to assume at this point I won't be receiving the additional $300 that you offered and agreed upon? 

"But beginning in May, I will refund you (thru PayPal) $100/month for 5 months regardless of whether or not we rebook for a total of $500.  And, in the event that we do book the date, I will refund the remainder of the $1000.  I know a little at a time doesn't have the same effect as a lump sum, but it's the best I can do right now."

Thanks,

Jamie 

On Jul 27, 2017, at 8:42 AM, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey rob, just wanted to check in with you regarding July payment. 

Thanks

Jamie 

From: Rob & Wynter <robandwynter@gmail.com> Date: May 18, 2017 at 7:47:03 AM CDT To: Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> Subject: Re: Contract

Jamie,

That transfer will be authorized tomorrow morning.  I don't typically use the account tied to the PayPal so I had to transfer the money to the funding account yesterday.  I wasn't aware that the account didn't have money in it when it was set to transfer.  Never intended not to do what I said I would do.

Sent from Rob Ingram's iPhone

On May 18, 2017, at 07:41, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Rob, it's the 18th now and I have not received anything via PayPal. I just kindly ask that if I will not be receiving what you offered to me, please let me know so I am aware. 

 Thanks,

Jamie  Sent from my iPhone

On May 10, 2017, at 5:02 PM, Rob & Wynter <robandwynter@gmail.com> wrote:

It's set to transfer on the 15th Sent from Rob Ingram's iPhone

On May 10, 2017, at 16:54, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Rob,

 Just wanted to follow up regarding your last email. 

 Thanks,

Jamie

Sent from my iPhone

On Apr 18, 2017, at 4:11 PM, RobWynter Ingram <robandwynter@gmail.com> wrote:

Jamie,

 I’ll start by saying that the fact that you concluded this message with “I don’t expect a response, to be honest…” is confirmation that you don’t know me very well.  But, I guess you can only derive your opinion from personal experience. My delay in responding to your cancellation email (as I have already told you) was because I wanted to see if I could fill your date with 2 other inquiries that we had for 11/18 and hopefully be able to refund some of your money.  I apologize that, in the middle of life and a busy wedding season, I didn’t respond sooner.  I know this is not an easy time for you and adding financial strain only adds insult to injury.  It was never my intention for the end-result of all this be one that has left such a bad taste in your mouth.

 I’ll also say, before I address your message, that of the 30+ brides that we work with every year, not one would make general comments about my “heart” or my approach consistent with what I just read from you.  In fact, “heartless” is so far from who I am and who we are.  But, rather than try to convince you of that, I will (try) to remove emotion from it and simply respond with facts.  I absolutely HATE the fact that your opinion of me is now so skewed from the reality of who I am that you feel the need to say some of the things you have, but I guess what’s done is done, and all we can do now is continue to do the things that made you want to hire us in the first place, which is be the best wedding photographers we can be and provide brides with beautiful wedding images.

 To begin, let me confidently say this.  I will refund the $1000 if I book the date.  I have more integrity than you might think, and I will be 100% honest with you if we rebook and will refund your money.  But so far, I have had zero inquiries since you cancelled.  I had 2 others within a week of you booking.  And both could not move their dates.  You are right, it’s possible we will rebook, but speculating that is a moot point, and as of now, we will make at least $2000 less than expected right before Christmas.

 I have been doing this for 10 years, Jamie.  Shooting weddings is a volatile thing and a huge risk for anyone who makes this their profession.  As weddings are concerned, we basically stake our entire income on the promise of two people who are currently very happy, but have no idea of what lies ahead.  In the entire time I have done this, previous to 2016, I have had only ONE wedding cancellation.  Then, in 2016, we had 3 cancellations, all of which did not result in rebooking the date, costing our business over $15,000 in income.  Now, for 2017, we have had 2 weddings that did not work out after booking, resulting in another $5400 in income loss.

 As far as your comment about comparing what $1000 means to us vs. yourself.  Let me ask you….and it’s imperative that I be a little more personal here than I typically have to be with clients because perspective might help in our case as well…How many of your "photographer friends” that you felt the need to talk to about this, support 4 kids (not including an additional $1000/month in child support and another $1200 for health insurance) on a one-income budget?  You can do the math, but in order for Wynter and I to have anything that resembles a life with our kids on the weekends, we can only feasibly take 30-35 weddings a year.  Other than a VERY small amount of other photography income, WEDDING photography is our only source of income.  We don’t shoot separately, because our product is now branded by what we both bring to the table on a wedding day.  The process of editing hundreds of images/week and making sure that we correctly handle images that can never be replaced, is one that takes a great deal of time and care.  So again, since you felt the need to bring it up, I’m betting the comparable value of $1000 to us is a little closer than you might think.  Remember, image is our job, so it may be a little misleading when you simply look at our life and business with facebook or Instagram goggles.  So please, if these photographer friends of yours (who obviously aren’t talented enough to garner your business) really want to talk to me about their opinion of my approach here, please tell them to call me when their husband gets off work.  I’d be happy take any advice from them that will allow me to be both a business man and a bleeding heart.  And feel free to forward this email to them too.  This business is full of people who will try to undercut and discredit other photographers at every turn.  Maybe this email will be ammo they can print, forward and use in their advantage to create an image of me that results in one less person to compete with.  It’s why I have never cared much about what everyone else is doing.  And frankly, the insecurity of a lot of people in this business is consistent with the ones that would so willingly be agreeable with you in this situation.  But, if my guess is right, you either talked to someone who is single or someone who has another source of income in their home.  But again, I’m just giving you facts and comments about financial consequence isn’t an area that anyone has ever tried to navigate with me.  So, my “condescending” response about applying your payment to a future wedding is justifiably condescended now by your interpretation and the emotions behind a hurt that I ultimately did not cause, and yet currently have a $2100 deficit because of.  So to clear that up, I wasn’t trying to be condescending at all, but I am pretty confident any this point that you won’t be “passing on my name” to other people in any way that would ever result in me being portrayed in a positive light.  And really, the residual effect of what this has ultimately done to your image of us, is going to cost us a lot more than just the $2100 that we won’t get from you. Consider that we are two people (with financial responsibility to 4 more) getting paid basically one medial income.

 Jamie, this situation doesn’t require me to pray about it.  I really can’t believe that I’m even discussing money value and prayer in response to this, but you went there, so I will too.  My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life and spiritualizing this issue isn’t something I think is necessary.  But hypothetically, had your message today said, “Hey Rob, that $1000 means a lot to me and not having it makes a significant difference in my life.  As a fellow follower of Christ, I am asking you to consider our kinship in that and pray about a way to refund all or a portion of this money.  This is a crappy enough time for me and I realize there may not be an immediate solution, but I would appreciate it if you would reconsider your last email”, then I wouldn’t have spent the better part of my day responding to this, I would have a better perspective on how it effects you, and would have done what was best for both of us regardless of contractual language.  And maybe that should have been my first approach, but just because my business deals with people on a more “personal” level doesn’t exempt me from still being a business, so I responded as such.  Typically, the clientele that we work with understands that, which is why I’ve never dealt with this.  In fact, most of those relationships end extremely well and have been followed up with inquiry on whether or not they owed a cancellation fee, rather than me writing a check back to them based on a circumstance out of my control.  The fact that I never uphold my clients to the "additional 25% cancellation fee of entire contract" outlined in their contract may produce a less “heartless” opinion from others who have been in your situation.

 This is the exact reason why Wynter and I charge a little more than most photographers.  There are plenty of “wedding photographers” who have a camera and can produce a good image for $2500-3000. If I expounded on the reality of their inadvertent devaluing of our industry, I would spend the next half of the day typing, so I will spare you.  BUT…our whole approach has always been based on working with an upper-tier bride who typically isn’t greatly affected by the loss of $1000.  In fact, in your situation, I was more inclined to think money wasn’t an issue for you at all.  You didn’t try to talk me down on price, you were in a hurry to get your deposit to me, and you sent the extra $1000 even after I told you that it wasn’t yet due.  And up until you cancelled your wedding, you were very consistent with some of the best brides that we have ever had from a payment and accountability standpoint.  So, my response was derived from quantifying and qualifying you with our other brides.  I apologize that I responded with an incorrect assumption.  You can't expect me to know the reality of your personal situation, and the email you sent to me this morning basically holds me responsible to know that.

 My “truly shocking” response, as you called it IS exactly what you described it:  a matter of money.  I unapologetically agree with you there.  And I’m not quite sure why it being a “matter of money” and me “having a heart to do what I can to help someone” can’t coexist.  And if really was a ONLY “matter of money” I would be the type of heartless person that would seek all compensation of what was agreed to in the contract, which would be an additional $1000.

 So, to be clear, I am not the jerk that my response in this email confirms that I can be.  But, when I receive an email that is obviously based on frustration and dehumanizing me, I am not going to read it without at least attempting to establish a little bit of perspective-based defense.  You ask how I can sleep at night.  My sleep has never been effected because I've always done what I said I would do and I've never received such a hostile email based in response to what someone agreed to.

 All of that being said, I will do this…because we live on our received income rather than our completed work income, I can’t cut you a $1000 check today.  But beginning in May, I will refund you (thru PayPal) $100/month for 5 months regardless of whether or not we rebook for a total of $500.  And, in the event that we do book the date, I will refund the remainder of the $1000.  I know a little at a time doesn't have the same effect as a lump sum, but it's the best I can do right now.

 I am really sorry our relationship took this turn, Jamie.  I enjoyed every moment of our first conversation and I hope one day you can see that I'm not all the things you seem to now believe.   What I definitely will pray about for you is continued healing through this difficult process.  From my experience, you are a really cool girl and I hate we won't be moving forward from this point on.  I'll be in touch the first of May with the first partial reimbursement installment.  Thanks for taking time to read this.

 Rob

     On Apr 18, 2017, at 10:17 AM, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

 ​Hey Rob/Wynter, I’ve had some time to think about this situation and it’s just been on my heart to respond. I understand what you said about the contract, but in my personal opinion something like this comes down to a matter of character and just simply doing what’s right and being able to lay your head down at night knowing you’re living the way you’re proud of. I know that I made the choice to send you an extra $1,000 when it was not even due, and in your contract you did state what was paid was to be kept. At the same time, when I look at the big picture it honestly just doesn’t sit right with me that as a successful and respectable business owner, you are okay with keeping $2100 of someone’s money when you truly performed no act of service. We did not even meet in person and get a coffee. We simply exchanged a few emails, several of which took you more than a week to respond. If I canceled a month before my wedding, this would be a different story and completely understandable. But considering it was over 7 months out from the event, you and I both know the chances of you filling that spot are pretty high knowing how wonderful of photographers you and Wynter are, and how desired your services are as well. People plan weddings in just a few months all of the time, and I just can’t help but feel like I was truly taken advantage of, and I hate feeling that way with someone whose work I have followed since the beginning and always dreamed of having them shoot my own wedding. I would never want or expect to get the 25% deposit back. I knew going into it, that no matter what that was nonrefundable and should something happen, that was paid regardless. I just can’t get out of my head that I sent you $1,000 and you’re comfortable with keeping that knowing you didn’t provide any service to me. $1,000 is a lot of money to me, especially considering I am single and live alone and have already lost about 5x that much with all of the other things I had to cancel. Again, that was MY choice and I’m well aware of that but at some point it just comes down to doing the respectable thing. In the grand scheme of things, what is $1000 to you compared to what it is to me? Especially $1,000 that wasn’t even owed to you yet. As far as the taxes thing go, it would just show as you overpaying and would be considered a credit. It's not anything that would cause issues in the long run, so I don't find it fair to use that as an excuse. 

  I’m not looking for a pity party, or any kind of sympathy as I know I made the choice that I did and had to do what’s best for me and my situation and unfortunately that came at a cost. I’m just simply asking for you to reconsider your decision given the situation and circumstances. I am obviously dealing with a lot emotionally as well as financially and that’s on me and I’m dealing with it the best I can. I have several photographer friends I spoke to about the situation, as well as just everyday humans and the consensus was always the same – shock that someone who works in an industry capturing people’s happiest days could be so heartless. It just seems that you would have a little more sympathetic nature to the situation simply as a human. Someone could get engaged tomorrow, and book that date and come to you this week dying to have you. You have 7 more months for that to happen and the fact that you’re dead set on this being the final decision honestly makes me question the professionalism of your business. And to even condescendingly say that you’d give me a credit “when I get married one day” couldn’t have hurt worse. I understand you were trying to offer a “solution” so to speak, but that was the most humiliating thing that I could have read considering the last thing I’m thinking about at the moment is getting married.

 I am truly just asking you to pray about, think about it, whatever your method is of coping with things is, and really consider what happened. I know “contractually” what was said and I get that as anyone would,but sometimes, things go a little deeper and you look at it as a whole and treat as others the way you’d like to be treated. I sent you an email right away, with no response, followed up with a text several days later with no response, and had to email another time before I was even given the respect of a response. At the very least, I would have expected an acknowledgment email when I first emailed you just letting me know you received it and would get back to me. I obviously had to send the same email to several people and the difference in response is truly shocking. It seems to just be a matter of money vs having a heart and doing what you can to help someone.

 ​I don’t expect a response to be honest, but would appreciate if you would at least take the time to read this, and consider what it would mean to me and do for me. I am more than happy to recommend you to anyone I see that may be seeking photographers in the area because I do love your work as you know and would be more than willing to pass on your name, but I just can't let this sit on my hear any longer.​

   Thanks for your time​

,

  Jamie​

 On Fri, Apr 7, 2017 at 11:22 AM, Rob & Wynter <robandwynter@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Jamie,

 I'm sorry to just now be getting back to you.  And I'm very sorry to hear that you had to call the wedding off.

 Unfortunately, this is where business collides with people that I genuinely want to do what's best for, but because of the way our accounting works, it puts  me in an awkward position.

 In Section 3 of our contract, the agreement states that all funds collected upon cancellation are retained by the photographer and a 25% cancellation penalty is assessed.  Obviously, I am not going to charge you another $1050, but the second payment, which in your contract stated that it was due BY (not ON) April 24, 2017 was voluntarily sent and thus falls under the "all funds collected" section.  And because we pay taxes quarterly, those have been submitted as well.

 Also, we do this because we have other inquiries and in your case (because of the popular date during football season) we turned down two other weddings because of your reservation of the date.  That is why it has taken me a while to respond...I was reaching out to those two brides to see if I could salvage their business. (In which case, I could have justified refunding a portion to you).  Both have booked elsewhere and quite honestly, November wedding clients are few and far between this late in the year.  So, in reality, we have a $2100 deficit on our year as well and will doubtfully recoup the loss of income from Nov 18, which really is the only date anyone has asked about for Nov of this year.

 I know this adds salt to an already open wound, but because of the nature of our business, we don't refund due to things out of our control.  But, what I can do is give you a credit for when you do get married one day.  We can at least apply 50% of the $2100 you have sent ($1050) to a future contract. I know that helps you none right now, but please know I will do what I can to make it as easy on you as possible if you would like to work with us one day. 

 Again, I hate having these conversations and hate what you are dealing with all of this.  Please let me know if you have any further questions.

 Rob

Sent from Rob Ingram's iPhone

On Apr 7, 2017, at 10:15, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Rob, wanted to follow up with on this since I never heard back. I paid you an extra $1000 towards my balance but I've regretfully decided to call off my wedding so I believe I should receive that back since it was not due or anything  until sept 18 per your email below. Please let me know what you need from me to get this refunded. 

 Thanks for understanding 

Jamie  Sent from my iPhone

On Apr 1, 2017, at 10:32 PM, Jamie Harris <jamie.harris23@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey rob, random question but I know if something happens we can't get our deposit back but do you refund any other payments made?

 Thanks 

[plogan721]

Announcement: Traveling Plans

Getting away from it all without tearing your hair out (c) 2016 P.Lynne Designs

It has now come to my attention that you cannot go on the annual family vacation because someone decided that they needed to do everything on their vacation.  This option usually costs an arm, a leg, their home, and their first-born child.  Aww, the sacrifices we make as a family these days to make vacation living a fun adventure.

I am here to tell you that you do not have to do that type of sacrifice.  Not at all, my friend. I want to tell you a little secret.

BUT FIRST ….

A little announcement ….

I started this project when I had 5 blogs and on the verge of creating what is now forming into P. Lynne Designs. I had to quit because I was burning out.  I have been inching to get back to it, and that announcement is I am going to re-write my Disney Vacation book.  You never saw it because of that burnout.  I was adding too much, and I will be starting over again from the very beginning.  I never truly planned out this book, and that is the second reason why I quit writing it.  I never really planned on how much I was going to write.  I can discuss all of that later.  For right now, I want to get back started.  

OK, enough of that, back to the secret that is a vacation…

The secret to a good vacation is planning.  Notice I did not say the perfect vacation.  If you are a Christian, you know that only God is perfect.  Planning helps out a lot.  Planning keeps you sane and focused of the task at hand, and the plan is to have fun.  Planning for a vacation also helps you:

·         Know how much money to spend

·         What places in that area you want to see

·         Where you want to eat

And so on ….

Here are the areas you need to concentrate when planning

1.      Where do you want to go?

2.      Time off (both parents and children)

3.      Budget.

4.      Where you are going to live for the next few days

5.      Eating

6.      Activities

7.      Transportation

8.      Packing

Now I could go on about this, but for now, I will make it brief.

The first part is where.  I will use Disney Parks as an example.  Let’s go with that for now.  You have dreamed of Disney, your family loves Disney. 

There are 6 different regions that hold a Disney Park Resort:  2 in the United States, 1 in Japan, 2 in China, and 1 in France. So, which one do you and your family want to visit?

For most people, it is obvious, go to the one in your country.  This is a little bit tricky if you live in either the United States or China, where there are two sets of resort parks to choose from.  Well, technically 3 if you are also close to Tokyo Disney.  OK, you decided to go to Disney World. 

Time Off

Once you decided where to go, the next question is when are you going?  This depends on your job and your children’s schedule.  The job is a no brainer.  If you are new in your position or company, wait a year before going.  Why?  Consider this:  There are people who have been there longer than you and have more experience than you.  Your company may operate on the “Low man on the totem pole” method (AKA Seniority) or the “earned time off” Method (AKA PTO).  In either case, it is best to wait a year to ask for any time off, so skip the vacation.  If you have been there for a while, you know by now when you can ask for time off, and when you cannot.  The tricky part is when you have kids in school.

School systems have gotten smarter since my last day in the 12th grade.  I might say “dumber” since my last day, depending on where you live, and how much the school is willing to turn you into children services for a 5-day vacation to the “Mouse’s Florida Home”. As an aunt of 5 (3 of which are currently school-age children, 1 grown, and a great-nephew of age 2), I am in constant watch of the changes within the Columbus and Dayton Ohio school systems.   They are not as bad as some of these school districts across the U.S. and in other countries.  One school system in the UK can impose a fine on a parent if you pull your child out of school for anything but an illness.  Another school district in Oklahoma, U.S. can turn a parent into children services if a child has several unexcused absences (equal to that of a week-long vacation).  If this sounds like your school system, my suggestion is to do the typical Summer Vacation/Spring Break/Winter Break routine.  It works out in the end and no one gets arrested, fined, or working out visitation rights with children services.  Apparently, schools do not see an educational value in Disney.   

What is your budget? 

You can decide what your budget is this way:  What is your income and how much you are willing to save.  Disney has several options to work with every type of budget.  Figure how much you are willing to spend on transportation, living arrangements, food, and activities.  One website mentions a method called “Pre-trip costs”.  They also said to allow for spurges, such as foods you never tried before, activities you never done before (I am thinking about trying a zipline course on my cruise in September, even though I am afraid of heights, LOL), and so on.  If you allow these things, you feel less guilty when you overspend because it is already figured in the budget.

How are you getting there?

 Plane, car, train, or bus.  Teleportation is not yet available, and it probably will not be available in my lifetime, although I am not sure I want my atoms scattered throughout the cosmos for two seconds (thinking Star Trek thoughts, LOL).  Anyway, since the last one is not available, you have to do a bit of snooping around for this part of your planning.  What is the best price?  How much will it cost you to get there and around?  Again, it should be in the budget part of your planning.  For example, from where I live, I can fly for 4 hours at the current rate of $484 (April 19, 2017) and returning April 25, 2017, which is the typical Disney Trip.  (there is also a cheap trip of $107 I found in Google search).  I can drive, which using my car (a 2008 Dodge Caliber), I need to get an oil change (it is screeching that right now), and gas is now $2.13 at the station where I live and in Orlando, Florida, it is $2.10 ($.03 difference, wow).  My car is a gas guzzler, so I might opt for renting one.  The average cost of an SUV per day is $44 (for now).  Trains run about $1,200 for the round trip, and buses run about $141 for the trip to Orlando from where I live.  Let’s rent a car.

Where to stay?

Now where are you going to stay?  Disney World has two options:  On-site, Off-site.   This is the typical case for most theme parks today.  The advantage between the two is when you stay on-site, there are a lot of things to do outside of the actual park itself, many of the amenities are free.  Your transportation is free, activities are free at the resort (some, not all).  The problem with Disney is there are so many resorts (which there are 23 of them), and they are divided between value, moderate, and deluxe.  If you are the type of family that does not have that much money in the budget, always on the go, and you use the rooms as a stopping and sleeping point, maybe it is best to have a value resort.  Deluxe resorts are high-end resorts and close the parks.  Some may have eat-in kitchens, and you have lots of money to blow (splurge on). 

Off-site (or Off property) are your Hotel 6, Holiday Inn Express, Sheraton, or even there are some places where you can rent a home for a week (Airbnb is considered).  These places are your home.  You do not have housekeeping to come and make your bed, make cute little animals.  It is like you are living in your own home.   Some properties even have their own pool at each home.  You do need to leave the place where you found it.  I have a link to the advantages and disadvantages of staying off and on site above.

I am going to stop there because this post is growing as I type.  I know I have a lot of Disney World references in this post, and this is not sponsored by them at all.  As I have explained many times that I am still a big kid at heart, and I love Disney.  Your favorite vacation spot may be a cruise, Las Vegas, Spain, Italy, or even Africa.  It may be a quiet romantic getaway for 2 without the kids, or girl friend’s “get away from it all trip.”  Whatever the trip, the budget, and the time spend away from “normal life”, make it a good one by planning, budgeting, and “enjoying the moments” while there.  The world is not going to cave in a week, and you deserve it.

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