#my boy is out here making death saves on the reg

[windmillcrusader]

meant to spend the evening agonizing over how I wanna level up my dnd character but instead I made a banana bread

[eriexplosion]

MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

[thememerman]

Can we just,.,.accept that both Crosshair and Hunter had their reasons for doing what they did?? And honestly neither of them really did anything wrong??

Hunter left Crosshair because he tried to kill them. He didn’t understand anything about the chip, he really thought Crosshair had just lost his mind. And as soon as he learned about it and how to fix it, we immediately jumped to episode 8 where Crosshair tried to incinerate them with a jet engine. He tried to communicate that the chip was affecting him, and Crosshair didn’t care. Hunter couldn’t even get himself or Omega out of that situation unharmed. He had no way to snag Crosshair from his squadron of stormtroopers out for murder. After Bracca, Hunter was focused on getting Omega back because she’s just a kid; she isn’t with the empire, she hasn’t been chasing them down and almost killing them. From Hunter’s POV, the possibility of getting Crosshair to come with them willingly or even at all is looking bleak and even though he knows it’s not Crosshair’s fault, he’s been so overwhelmed with trying to keep the people relying on him safe and right now he doesn’t think Crosshair is relying on him. And honestly, how were they even supposed to know where Crosshair was half the time? He wasn’t on Kamino 24/7 and the Batch isn’t exactly swimming in imperial informants. But that aside, of course he was thinking about Crosshair; Hunter is loyal to a fault and you can just see the emotional pain that flashes across his face whenever Crosshair is mentioned because that’s his little brother and he couldn’t save him and he feels like he failed. Hunter never was and I don’t think ever can be indifferent when it comes to the people he loves. Whether you like it or not, Hunter was trying his best to keep everyone safe and stop running suicide missions because the galaxy was changing and he was trying to change too. He did nothing wrong.

Now Crosshair.

To all of you calling him a Nazi and saying that the animators and writers intentionally lightened his skin just to make a racist show of dominance, stop it. He was referring to their genetic enhancements being superior. That’s it. He’s always hated regs because let’s be fair the regs were never exactly good to him either (AFTERMATH). Now let’s just take a look at how the chip works shall we!! We know from Rex and Wrecker that clones know what they’re doing while under control of the chip and they’re powerless to stop themselves. So we know in Aftermath that the chip was strengthened to an insane degree, and Crosshair could still see himself taking head shots on his brothers and trying to murder them and he couldn’t stop no matter how badly he wanted to. He was powerless. And then the Batch left; at this point he probably understands that his brothers had to go. They’d regroup. They’d know this wasn’t his fault and they’d come back.

Months pass. Crosshair doesn’t know about the solemn looks the Batch exchange when he’s mentioned. Crosshair doesn’t know that they can barely get food for themselves. Crosshair doesn’t know that Wrecker has flat out said he misses him. Crosshair doesn’t know how Tech said “it doesn’t appear he’ll be needing it” with a twinge of sadness in his voice while giving Omega his comm. Crosshair doesn’t know how much Hunter hates himself for leaving and that Hunter was always planning on going back to him someday because someday he’d have the perfect plan and he could save everyone this time. How could Crosshair know?

More time passes. Crosshair probably still has his chip on but he’s still in there, watching himself become more and more important to the Empire. No rescue attempts. Not one. How awful does he have to feel?? They went to get Echo out of Skako with no backup and they didn’t even know Echo and they can’t go back for him? And here’s the Empire, giving him power and some semblance of control. Things are changing fast and now he has nobody but himself to adjust with, and besides, he’s always had an egotistical side so maybe being a commander and putting the regs in their place isn’t so bad to him after all. He’s alone. He adapts or he dies, that’s the job and that’s all he has now.

Onto Bracca!! If Crosshair is telling the truth about getting his chip out, I firmly believe it had to have been after the events of Reunion. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise; “if I wanted you dead, you would be” sweetheart giving the order to have them incinerated and starting to walk away really seems like you wanted them dead and then going from ordering Omega to be executed to telling Hunter that if he cares about her he should let her go and be safe away from them??? You can’t tell me that Bracca!Crosshair wouldn’t have dragged Omega back into the training room and killed her right there just to keep them from choosing her over him. So let’s just assume for now that Crosshair wasn’t lied to and his chip is out (I’m still holding onto a scrap of hope to the contrary because A. there’s no scar B. HE’S STILL HOLDING HIS HEAD and C. my boy isn’t making any SENSE he just killed off a bunch of Imperial stormtroopers to convince the Batch to join his Empire that he cares so much about??) it had to have happened after Bracca I said what I said idc. If the chip is out, I’m sure his head is still an absolute foggy mess because lord only knows what cranking those chips up to full strength several times will do to you, but suddenly he’s realizing that he’s still angry with them. He’s still hurt. He’s still very much alone. Maybe they never cared about him at all.

And don’t get me started on any “if he did any of this willingly he is irredeemable” garbage. How many times did Kallus almost kill the Ghost crew?? I’m sorry, was it not Kallus who ordered the Lasat genocide?? Don’t take this the wrong way, I adore Kallus and his redemption arc was one of the most beautiful things about Rebels but the point is if he can do all of those horrible things for the Empire for years and is still allowed a redemption stemming from realizing everything he thought he was fighting for was a fiction, THEN SO IS CROSSHAIR. With that side note out of the way let’s think about how alone and betrayed Crosshair feels by the Batch and let’s realize that after they left Ryloth, after they left him again, what does he want?? He wants them. He doesn’t want to kill them, he doesn’t want them imprisoned and he doesn’t want to make them pay. He wants to fight side by side with them again, he wants his brothers back. And even though he’s so beyond hope that they still care about him, heck he literally said “don’t make the same mistake twice; don’t make me your enemy” he thinks they were enemies and he still cares about them so freaking much that he went through an entire elaborate scheme to get the whole Batch on Kamino and set up the stormtroopers’ deaths to prove his loyalty that they could have if they just gave him some of their loyalty too. “Loyalty means everything to the clones” is starting to get a really bitter taste innit??

The point of this longwinded rant my friends is to beg y’all to stop being so black and white about these two. They’re both human, they both have made mistakes and have regrets, they’re both trying their best to survive in a galaxy flipped upside down. Things played out how they had to and they’re both victims of the real villain of Star Wars, who has always been Palpatine. The fact that there is so much to unpack with these two characters shows how flipping amazing the writers are!! They’re so layered and complex it’s literally like they’re real!! So please. Stop hating on them so freaking loudly. They’re my boys and they both deserve a warm hug and a nap after the season they’ve had

[salty-rey]

Come Back | Bad Batch Fan Fic

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader

Words: 1748 words

Warnings: Angst. Reader gets hurt, mention of blood

A/N: I gave you romance with Fives last time. Now, time for some PAIN!!! I told yall I wanted to make a Bad Batch fan fic, I just didn’t expect my first one to be like this. 

Pretty short, I wanted to write it down before I lose any inspiration, and I have to get back to my finals. 

Hope you guys like! 

(gif courtesy of @clxnewxrs​ )

- - - - - - -

This plan has gone to crap!

It was supposed to be simple. Get into the command center, retrieve the necessary intel, and get out. Something you’ve done many times before. Piece of cake! 

But last time you remembered, you did not have a child following you around. Omega insists on coming along, even going against Hunter’s orders. Because of her disregard of orders, she had tripped an alarm, alerting the guards to your position. But you couldn’t blame her. Even if she didn’t came along, something wasn’t going to go according to plan. She’s not a soldier and wasn’t trained like you and the rest of the Bad Batch. There were some tasks or missions that were fine for the young clone to come along, but this mission was more dangerous. 

One good reason why; Crosshair had finally tracked you down.

The Batch had split up during the mission, aiming to complete your objectives. Before you can all regroup, that is when Crosshair and his Elite Squad Trooper caught up to the group. And you had the unfortunate case of protecting Omega from the sniper, who was now standing in front of you. With the only exit blocked by your former comrade, the only way to escape was to shoot your way out or leap out an 80 storied building. 

“Crosshair, please! Don’t do this,” you pleaded, body shielding Omega as the young girl cowered behind you.

“I can bring you back alive,” The grey-haired clone spoke, raising his handheld blaster to your chest without hesitation. “Or in a body bag. Your choice, Freckles.”

You tense, staring down the barrel of the blaster, wondering for a second if it was put on lethal or stun mode. You felt Omega gripping your arm, sparing a glance at the child before looking back at Crosshair. His eyes held no remorse. There was no more warmth in those honey-brown eyes. Your heart shattered at the sight of him, your fists clenching to keep yourself composed. 

“This isn’t you, Crosshair. That damn chip is manipulating you!” You snapped, keeping your stance and hoping to buy some time for Hunter and the others to assist you. 

“You would have never shot Wrecker before, no matter how much he annoyed you. And you would never point a gun at me. Come back to us. We can find a way to free you from that chip. We know it’s not your fault, and we don’t blame you for your actions. Please,” you begged, your voice breaking a little as you reached your hand towards him. 

The clone stared hard at your hand, his shoulders tensed before locking eyes with yours. He can see the desperation in them, unshed tears causing your eyes to glisten. This was a familiar sight. Not too long ago, when all of you were imprisoned back on Kamino, you had the same expression. 

Crosshair was being taken away from the rest of the group for unknown reasons. Hunter, in his attempt to keep everyone together, received a harsh hit on his gut. The sergeant doubled over in pain, but no one dare moved to aid him as blasters were pointed at everyone. The clone shook his head at the sight of his sergeant before standing up. As he took one step forward, he felt a tug, keeping him in place. Looking back, he saw you gripping his hand with all the strength you have. 

You were looking up at him, silently begging him not to go. The corner of your eyes shedding small tears, your hand squeezing his ever so tighter. 

“Let’s go!” The clone guard exclaimed, his patience wearing thin. 

Crosshair felt something foreign in him, telling him to obey. He knows that he should stay. He knows that he should fight against these mindless regs. He’s not like them. He belongs here with his brothers, and with you. 

But, fighting the regs unarmed will just cause unnecessary casualties. And he can’t stand the idea of having his brothers’ blood on his hands. Especially a kid that is apparently a little sister. And you. 

The thought of losing you caused him to shiver in fear. An emotion that he rarely felt, until you joined the team. 

The sniper looked back at you once more, squeezing your hand in return. He gave you a reassuring look that was also apologetic and sorrowful. 

You knew that there was no getting out of this. That there was no way in saving him. With a heavy sob, you let go of his hand, allowing him to be taken by the guards. 

His hands were now trembling, causing the blaster to become unsteady. “Crosshair?” You said with uncertainty. The sniper’s eyes snapped back at you, having lost focus for a few seconds. 

“So, you miss me? How sweet,” he sneered, but his hands continued to shake. 

You relaxed your posture for a second, pulling your hand back before pressing it against your chest, right over your heart. “I have. So very much.”

Something must have snapped inside of the clone because his eyes became unfocused, and his hands were trembling harder. He was in pain, his free hand gripping the side of his head, eyes squeezing shut as the blaster fell from his hand. You watched as Crosshair internally fought against the inhibitor chip, hope slowly rising inside of you. 

As you slowly approached him, you failed to hear the thundering sound of boots approaching you. The only indication that you got was hearing Omega gasping before shouting, “Look out!”

The moment you spotted the Elite Squad Trooper raising his blaster, you felt the searing hot pain piercing your side, and a blood-curling scream echoed throughout the room. You fell to your knees, clutching your left side, where the blaster shot hit you. 

Luckily, you were wearing the specialized armor that the Bad Batch wear, so the blast wasn’t able to pierce the other side. But you can feel blood pooling out, and if you don’t get any aid soon, you’re going to die. 

Before the trooper can shoot you again, he let out a shout of pain as Crosshair’s fist collided with his buckethead before punching his gut. “I told you to stun the woman and to shoot the men!” He snarled before kicking the hunched-over trooper. 

As Crosshair’s attention was on the reg, Omega rushed to your side. Panting heavily, you grabbed a tool from your utility belt and wrapped an arm around the girl’s midsection. “Hold on...tight...and whatever...you do...don’t let go.”

“What are you---whoa!” Omega cried out as you picked her up and charged at the window. The girl screamed when your shoulder crashed into the window, both of you plummeting over the edge. Neither Crosshair nor the troopers reacted quick enough to catch you, watching the both of you fall to what appears to be your death. 

You reached out your arm, pointing your modified grappling gun, and pulled the trigger. The claw-like end soar shot through the air, piercing the closes building, secured in place. The pair of you swing through the cold night air, Omega’s arms and legs wrapped around your neck and waist. 

Before you could crash into another building, you released the trigger, the grapple unhooking from your end. You rolled onto the rooftop of a building, shielding Omega in the progress. Wincing, you got back on your feet, still holding onto the child, and continued to run away, troopers now shooting at you. 

“Tech! I need a pickup, NOW!” You exclaimed into your communicator. 

“We’re reaching your location!” His voice came through, and without another second to waste, you heard the engines of the Havoc Marauder. The ramp was open and both Hunter and Wrecker were there. 

Despite the searing pain, your adrenaline forced you to pick up the pace. Blaster shots were flying past you, and if you move any slower, you were going to get hit again. But you weren’t scared of being hit by the Elite Squad trooper again. No. You were afraid of a certain sniper. Deep down though, you had hope that he wasn’t going to pull the trigger on you. He had several chances to do so, but he didn’t. 

“Jump!” Hunter shouted as you reached the edge of the building. Mustering whatever strength you had left, you leaped from the edge, Omega’s arms reaching towards the Sergeant and larger clone. You collapsed into their arms, letting them pull you both inside as blasters were now hitting your ship. 

“She’s been shot!” Omega cried. Hunter and Wrecker saw your bleeding side, and with a nod from their leader, Wrecker picked you up as carefully as possible and carried you to your cot. “Echo, get over here now!” Hunter shouted before grabbing whatever medical items that they need.

Your armor was removed and Wrecker ripped the fabric of your blacks to expose your wound, allowing the boys to stop the bleeding. You cried out in pain, legs kicking and your hand gripping the first thing that came into contact, which was Hunter’s hand. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” Echo reassured as they pierced a needle into your wound before spraying it with bacta. Omega stood at the doorway, hands covering her mouth, silently crying as the boys managed to stop the bleeding. Despite being their combat medic, the Bad Batch knew a good amount of medical aid before you arrived, but learned more when you became part of their team. 

“I can’t believe Crosshair shot her!” Wrecker growled as Echo placed a bacta patch to help quicken the healing progress. 

“I don’t want to believe either. But he shot you, didn’t he?” Echo countered.

“He...he didn’t shot me,” you groaned, your hand squeezing Hunter’s. 

“Whoa whoa whoa, no more talking. You need your rest, Freckles,” the Sergeant said, using his free hand to gently wipe off any sweat forming on your forehead. 

You ignored Hunter’s order and took in a deep breath before continuing. “It was a...trooper. Crosshair said...only to stun me and Omega...” You then looked back at Hunter, body feeling weak and vision getting blurry. “He’s still in there...fighting to come back....we can’t lose hope.” You managed to say that last bit before darkness consumed you. You slumped against the pillow, a familiar scent comforting you as you slept. 

The group watched you sleep, ensuring that you were okay before relaxing. Hunter slowly slipping his hand from your grasp before covering you with a blanket, Crosshair’s scent continued to engulf you. 

“We will bring him home. I promise.”

[witchywomanrunningupthathill]

Read Me

Pairing: Regulus Black x female!OC

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: violence, angst, very brief mention of vomit

Note: I’ve always had this headcanon that after joining the Death Eaters, Regulus had someone to teach/practice with legilimency and occlumency. So here’s my spin on that with a return of Miss Iris! Let me know what you think!

Streams of garnet and emerald dart past one another. Faint cheers from the packed stands—Go, go, Gryffindor! Slytherin, Slytherin for the win! Sirius Black comes into view, guarding one of the circular goalposts. He’s yelling to a chaser.

Evan Rosier flyin past one of the snakes, who throws him a bludger. Rosier catches the ball and sends it hurtling towards Sirius. The bludger strikes Sirius’ side with a thwack, knocking him off balance. The Gryffindor recovers, eyes darting around to see who threw that damned ball, but Evan directs a Ventus his way, sending a strong stream of wind at his right side and throwing the boy off his Nimbus 1500 into the very thin air below. Across the pitch, Regulus Black and his fellow Slytherin teammates watch as a wizard falls through the air toward the very hard ground. He sees the unguarded goalpost opposite him. Regulus’ face drops, Siri. He takes off toward his older brother. So what if he saved the bloodtraitor, he’d face Evan’s wrath later—

           “Salazar!” Iris jumps, shaken from her vision. Her cat, Jed, steps over the witch’s bent leg and casually lays down between her and Regulus on the quilted leather sofa.

           “It’s Regulus, actually,” the wizard remarks.

Iris scoffs.

Moonlight shines down into the Black Lake, making the Slytherin common room appear more like the sea than the emerald-green dungeon that it is. A faint rumble of thunder startles a merperson that had stopped momentarily, watching the witch and wizard go at their mind games.

           “Alright, let’s try this again. We’ve got an audience now and everything…” Iris looks down at Jed. Regulus smiles at the cat warmly, passing his fingertips through her bluish-grey fur as he scratches the top of her head. His jade eyes meet the waiting girl. “Relax,” Iris tells the wizard. Regulus rolls back his shoulders closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath. As soon as he reopens them, Iris is back inside his head. She butts up against a set of memories, trying to read them, read him, but is only met with further resistance from the boy opposite her. She tries again. Nothing. Onto the next memory. Another block.

This continues for a few moments until a dark, inscrutable scene comes into view for Iris. The vision sharpens, revealing central London. It’s late. There’s no one on the streets save Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch, Jr. and Rabastan Lestrange circled together, wands already at work. 

Oh wait. She’d recognize that tall, lanky build and head of long, raven hair anywhere. Regulus stood about a pace back from the three Death Eaters. In front of him, at the middle of the circle lies a muggle couple, crying and screaming as the red sparks of the Cruciatus curse run from the dark wizards’ wands to them. Breaking bones. Burning flesh. Twisting, snapping veins. 

           “That’s the last time you’ll speak to me like that! Muggles…” Evan says, disgusted. Evan looks over to Regulus. “You’re missing out on all the fun, Reg.” Regulus stays silent, joining the three in the circle. He watches as Evan casts an “Imperio,” on the man, forcing him to undress himself. The bleeding, sobbing, sweating man now stands bare before them. Evan places his hand on Regulus’ shoulder. “Go on.” Evan licks his lips. “They deserve it.” 

           Regulus’s cold demeanor slips slightly, but he recovers quickly, not even raising his wand before shouting “Crucio!” The Muggle man screams in agony as the spell’s red sparks wrap around him like barbed wire, lifting him off of the ground. His eyes roll back as he falls to the ground in convulsions. The screaming woman looks on as her partner gurgles and thrashes and howls. The terrorized Muggle woman looks back at the four wizards whose eyes are bereft of all but crazed contempt. “Please!” She chokes out.

           “Might as well finish him off,” Barty chides. They all watch Rabastan raises his wand as the “Avada…” leaves his mouth.

The scenes blurs and fades to white. Iris almost stops, but swiftly shoves aside her thoughts. Stay focused. Regulus’ mind is like a library. The Bodleian to be exact. Shelves, tall shelves and endless stacks of memories. Most of them appearing like a book with a blank cover and empty pages. Damn, he’s gotten good at this. Iris goes to a new stack located way back in his library, the Restricted Section. Just let it flow. Iris strains, eyes burning into the wizard seated across from her. She shuts her eyes, eyebrows furrowing.

           “Stop straining,” Regulus instructs.

           “Don’t, Black…I was born doing this.”

           “Then prove it.”

Iris reopens her eyes, still trying to breach the mental wall. She can’t read it. In fact, it hurts quite a bit. Regulus doesn’t let up. A sharp, biting pain wraps around her skull with every attempt to break through his wards. Iris pulls backwards with a gasp.

           “Agh, Merlin!” Jed leaps out of the witch’s lap. Iris rubs her forehead, trying to soothe the pain. “Okay, I’m done for the day. Congrats, Reg, I think that you’ve got to be one of the best Occlumens I’ve ever met.” Regulus smirks. “Oh, don’t be all smug now!” She hits his arm.

           “Hey! Enough with the abuse, woman. You’ve already gone through my mind, quite literally. Or tried to…”

           “You’ve outsmarted the mistress, it seems.”

Regulus chuckles.

           “We can’t all be natural Legilimens, love.”

She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just studies him. She’s back in the library.

           “Stop reading my mind.”

           “You put your guard down when you laugh.”

           “I don’t believe trying not to laugh will be much of an issue in front of him.

Iris lets out an amused humph.

           “Why the hell are we joking about this?” Regulus straightens. The couple sit in silence for a moment before Iris turns to the wizard.

           “Will you tell me?”

           “Why we’re joking?”

           “Reg.”

           “How am I supposed to keep it off-limits if I tell you?”

           “Oh, don’t play dumb with me! You wouldn’t have let me see Sirius falling during that match—”

           “Pushed. He was pushed!”

Iris looks at him impatiently.

           “What about Evan and Barty and Lestrange torturing and killing those Muggles? And you!” Her voice breaks.

           “No! No. Rabastan killed them.”

           “Like it matters! Who fired off one of the many Crucios that night?”

           “You’re not innocent in all this either!”

           “Has he made you kill anyone yet?”

It’s Regulus’ turn to frown, he doesn’t even attempt to meet her gaze.

           “Torturing that couple was, what? Last week?”

           “Enough!” he shouts.

           “Why them, huh? What are you locking all the way back in your head?”

           “They’re not worth it,” he mumbles almost inaudibly.          

           “What?”

           “They’re not worth it, Iris!”

She shudders slightly. Thunder reverberates above them.

           “Not Barty. Not Evan. And most certainly not bloody Lestrange!” His voice booms off of the stone walls. “You don’t know what it’s like...having this mark…this stamp of evil.” Regulus pulls up the sleeve of his jumper, revealing the serpent’s head of the dark mark. The raven ink wisps into the surrounding pale skin of his arm. “You don’t know what it’s like. Being right next to him. ‘A promising young man,’ that’s what he called me last.” Regulus’ expression darkens. He swallows. “Every time I step into that godsforsaken manor I want to vomit. The darkness and the…malevolence. It-it’s in the air.” His eyes glisten. “Sometimes I feel like I can’t fucking breathe. It’s like being paralyzed…when he stares at me—gazes into my soul. He crushes you, Iris! He will ruin you!”

Regulus is inches from the witch, shaking her by her shoulders. Tears roll down his flushed face. He’s trembling. Iris’s eyes dampen. Regulus gets up from his spot on the sofa, wandering over to one of the common room’s towering windows. Ripples of light bounce off the lake water onto his sullen face. He watches a trio of fish swim by and imagines being underwater, just like them. Enveloped in silence. Safe.

Iris sits still for a moment, shaken, before following him. At the window, she stands to his left, looking at the boy lost in the lake.

           “Look, Regulus…” He doesn’t shift his gaze. Iris sighs.

           “I’m sorry. I…um…you’re right. I don’t know exactly what this is all like.” She pauses, wondering if she should continue.

           “But we started this for a reason—”

           “You think I don’t know that?”

           “You and me. One and two. You read me and I read you.” Regulus’ eyes slowly move away from the window.

           “Even You Know Who can’t change that.” Iris reaches for his hand and brings it to her lips.

           “I just want to keep you safe.” He frowns again.

           “I know.”

           “No, Iris…there’s just so much more.”

           “I’m a big girl. And a pretty damn powerful witch.” The beginnings of a grin grace his face for a moment. He shakes his head, mind wandering to the locket hidden away in his dorm.

           “Shall we give it another go?” Regulus is lost in his head. The little prince burdened with inglorious purpose. Iris waves her hand in front of his face. “Reggie? Regulus!” He snaps out of his trance, focusing on the witch in front of him.

           “Once more and then we’ll give it a rest?” Iris searches his face. Regulus nods. There is no rest in sight, darling. Not if the Dark Lord can help it.

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff & @punkkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 17:

The plane landed, Finn was the first to turn his phone off airplane mode and suddenly it was blowing up, twitter, Instagram, snapchat, tiktok, even Facebook for chrissakes. He was getting messages from family, friends and even the team. He put his phone on silent when he started getting annoyed glances from other passengers.

Logan was next, not as many notifications but still a lot. Leo had a few but none of them had to do with Finn and Logan. Finn was scrolling furiously through his notifications, getting more and more nervous as he kept scrolling. Then he saw the first twitter notification.

Hacked.

His eyes widened and his heart was pounding, Logan was the person in the middle this time, he grips Logan’s arm tight. Logan looks over to him a bit groggy and confused. Finn is in complete panic. Logan raises an eyebrow asking what's wrong. Finn just shakes his head and shoves his phone in his pocket.

They get off the plane and everything is normal, getting their bags and walking towards the closest exit Finn stops walking, causing Noelle to run into the back of him. They all look outside and notice all the media waiting.

What was going on…

“Noelle, Leo can you guys go out a different door and take a taxi to meet us at the apartment? Call Sirius while you’re on the way.”

“Finn what's going on?” Leo is staring outside for a moment before he meets Finn’s eyes.

“Please just do what I ask, I’ll explain more if you don’t hear anything on the way.” Leo and Noelle share a look and then nod, walking towards the exit that is two doors away, Noelle calling a taxi while Leo calls Sirius.

“Finn?” Logan takes his hand, running his thumb over the freckled man’s knuckles. He is looking at the media and they seem to have noticed them, taking pictures through the glass. The flashes put a spot in his eyes when he blinks. Finn has his jaw set in a way that Logan rarely sees, he is angry. Something isn’t right.

“Keep a hand on me, you know how terrible the press can be.” Finn grips his hand tighter as they walk towards the doors with all the press, hoping Noelle and Leo got out safe. The door opens and the mingled words of shouting reporters who Finn knows are just trying to do their job but it's an annoying job.

“LOGAN! Does Finn know you’ve been cheating on him” A female reporter yelled out from the middle of the pack. Logan snaps his head around and is about to answer before Finn drags him forward.

“Finn, do you know the man in the video!?” A male reporter shouted at them and kept asking more and more questions until Finn couldn’t take it anymore he turned around. The shouting, the flashes, the microphones in his face, it was all too much. He was overwhelmed and shutting down.

“Fuck off!” Before turning back around and walking into the first floor of the parking garage, some of the reporters with just pad and pens followed them through the barriers. He ignores them as he unlocks the vehicle. Logan and Finn toss their bags in before they get in themselves.

“Let me see your phone.” Logan is so thankful for the tinted window in this car. Finn hands him his phone and it already has Logan’s face ID so he unlocks the phone and starts looking through everything on Finn’s twitter that was posted. There was everything from Finn’s own nudes to Logan’s. He felt sick to his stomach as he scrolled, then he saw it.

“They posted the video… The video of me and Leo in the mirror. I didn’t know you saved that on your phone, I thought it was just snapchat.”

“They hacked everything of mine, Lo, Baby… I’m so sorry.” Logan hears the crack in Finn’s voice and just places his hand over Finn’s on the console between them. It was a silent drive home.

When Noelle and Leo reached the apartment the press was outside, luckily they couldn't get into the parking garage or the actual building. They make their way inside and see most of the team already waiting by the door.

“What’s going on?” Leo asks Sirius as he unlocks the door and lets everyone in. James turns on the news but nothing is on but the weather right now, Lily and Celeste are there and go to the kitchen with food they already made. Leo was getting more and more confused.

“Finn was hacked, every account of his on social media has posted pictures of him and Logan but there is one video and we know it’s you.” Sirius watches as Leo’s face pales immediately. “No one else knows though, they are trying to call Logan a cheater and Finn a cuck but no one can figure out who you are.”

“What’s the video?” Leo closes the door behind everyone and moves him and Noelle's bags to line the wall so people don’t trip, he’d move them into his room later.

“A video of you and Logan in a mirror, it’s dark and you don’t show either of your faces but people are going wild for it. It was released on twitter first… then everywhere else.” Leo nods and politely excuses himself to the kitchen to help with whatever because that is his safe space.

A half hour later Logan and Finn stumble in the apartment. Finn says nothing as he walks over to Sirius and just starts apologizing for how he has ruined the team's reputation, while Logan takes a slow seat next to Dumo who doesn’t hesitate to pull him into a supportive hug.

“It’s going to be okay.” Dumo mumbles into Logan’s hair rubbing his hand up and down his back as Logan sniffles. “This could have happened to any of us. Hell, it already happened to Remus and Sirius.”

“Not in the same way.” Logan’s voice is muffled in Dumo’s chest and the older man just holds him tighter. “Maman and Papa are going to kill me…” Logan hands his phone to Dumo and it's already unlocked, messages from his parents are on screen. He takes Logan’s phone and holds it up to where he can see it better. Messages just saying horrible things about Logan and Leo for some reason.

“Logan-”

“Shush! Laisse-moi tranquille!” Dumo sighs and closes Logan’s phone, putting it far away from them on the coffee table as he just holds his son.

“Finn, you did nothing wrong! Stop apologizing!” Sirius pulls Finn into a tight hug and Finn tries to pull out of it but Sirius is much stronger. Holding him there while angry tears threaten to fall from Finn’s eyes. Once he melts into Sirius’ hold he starts talking.

“I just ruined my boys' lives…”

“Finn, this wasn’t you.” Finn doesn’t answer, he just slowly pulls away from Sirius when he hears his phone ringing. It’s Alex, he is supposed to go to his wedding this weekend and Finn is thinking he is going to uninvite him.

“I should take this on the balcony.” Sirius gives him a firm pat on the shoulder, resting his hand for a second to give it a squeeze before Finn brushes him off and walks outside. “Alex.” Finn immediately starts crying at the voice of his brother. “Alex- I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to ruin your wedding.”

“What? Finn, I’m calling to make sure you are okay, this has nothing to do with my wedding.” Finn cries even harder, having to support himself on the railing as his tears drip over the edge. “Finn please talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say, I ruined their lives, Alex! I ruined the people who I love most. How could I do that?” He squats down keeping one hand on the railing and pressing his forehead to the cold metal of the wall of the balcony.

“Finn, Bud, I know you love to blame everything on yourself but I promise you this is not your fault.” Finn lets out a pained noise as his brother speaks.

“Alex, I was the one who saved the pictures! It’s internet 101!” He takes a deep breath as he starts to become exhausted from crying, no more tears were coming but he felt as though his breathing wouldn’t slow down.

“What? You think I don’t have pictures of my fiancé on my phone?” Finn laughs a tiny bit as his breathing starts to go back to normal. “Finn, you need to take down all your accounts before this gets on the news.”

“I tried, I got locked out of them on the way home when Logan started deleting them as I drove us home.”

“Then I guess you need to get in contact with Twitter and whatever else… Then you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and make up a plan to play the media.” Finn is silent for a moment, thinking about how they have a game this Friday, the day he also leaves for Florida in the middle of the night.

“Play the media… That's probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Hey!”

“Love you Alex but I need to talk to Sirius and Remus.” He hangs up the phone and rounds up Logan, Remus and Sirius. Pushing them into Leo’s room. “Okay so… how do we fuck with the media?”

Leo was oddly quiet, Reg noticed and placed a hand on his arm. Smiling a little bit at each other Reg could see just how scared Leo is. He is in his head and it's worrying him. Leo isn’t exactly the best at taking care of his mental health and his stress baking foods he doesn’t even like is definitely a sign.

“Leo, why don’t we go have a smoke?” Leo just shakes his head, Clay is sick right now and Thomas didn’t let him come here because he has been ill since they got back home. “Leo, can we at least sit down?”

“These need to be finished Reg. If you want to go sit then sit.” Reg sighs and decides not to pester him anymore. Going over to sit on the couch. He is brought away from texting Clay to the news loudly playing over the TV.

Leo and everyone else in the kitchen move to behind the couch to look at the screen. He was hoping it wasn’t going to be anything about them and what was posted. He was praying to any God he could think of that it wasn’t them.

His prayers never seem to work.

“Breaking News! Finn O’Hara, winger for the infamous Gryffindor Lions hockey team, has recently had some pictures and a video of him, his boyfriend… and a secret man leak onto the internet. We had reporters at the airport earlier today to see if we could get any statements from the two love birds as they made their way back home. We were trying to get answers but O’Hara and Tremblay seemed to be avoiding answering anything. Here is the footage we got from earlier”

Footage from Finn and Logan walking out of the airport shows up on the screen. Finn looking like thunder, Logan just looking confused. Leo watches Logan snap his head towards the reporter who yelled something at him, he didn’t know what was said because his ears felt like they were full of cotton. Finn leads them further on into the crowd but Finn suddenly turns around and spits a ‘Fuck off’ their way before ducking into the parking garage.

“Tremblay seems to be confused as to what was going on while O’Hara was getting defensive. The question everyone is asking is, who is this mystery man? And will this seemingly perfect relationship fall apart because of him? We have the video that was leaked here and we can only show the top half as the bottom is quite scandalous.”

Then suddenly Leo is on TV, they stick to their word only showing the top half of the video, it was darker than Leo remembers it being. He watches as Logan’s mouth moves but there is no audio… just a caption.

Finn.

The week flies by, Leo is the only person allowed to leave the apartment besides for practice, they had a game tonight against Ravenclaw. They won 2-0. Finn and Logan, of course, were being interviewed. Sat together in their stalls, sweaty and still in all their gear, they were very touchy on camera. Logan had kissed Finn’s cheek a couple of times, Finn’s arm was over Logan and he was watching Logan like he was the most important thing in the room.

“So, everyone wants to know. Who is the man in the video?” A reporter turns her microphone towards Finn who just shrugs and smiles.

“Like you said, he's the man in the video.” This shocks everyone for a minute because the camera flashes again.

“Did you like seeing another man with Logan?”

“I wouldn’t have kept it if I didn’t like it.” Finn flashes his most charming smile.

“Logan, is this a random man or someone you know.”

“I know every inch of them.” He smiles as Finn snickers.

“Are you two in an open relationship?”

“Nope!” They both answer at the same time before sharing a chaste kiss. Logan playfully pushes Finn’s cheek away from him and they start laughing again.

“Are you swingers?” They both start laughing and shaking their heads for the millionth time in this interview.

“Non, our relationship is closed and we aren’t swingers. Sorry you just aren’t our type.” The whole locker room gets a chuckle out of that and Marlene kicks the media out of the room so everyone can change. Logan and Finn get changed and finally feel like an entire house has been lifted off their shoulders. Finn was leaving tonight and Leo was meeting Logan at the Dumias house to watch the kids for the weekend.

It was going well. Hours later after Finn kissed his boys goodbye, Logan at the parking lot at the stadium, and Leo at the apartment after grabbing his bags. Maybe they were more than just a chaste kiss on the lips but it was great.

Leo was on his way over to Logan’s with a little surprise next to him. He waltzed up to the door with a small carrier in his arms. Adele answers the door and smiles at him.

“They already have articles about Logan and Finn posted and they are amazing just wait until you hear- what are you holding?” Leo laughs at her as she lets him in. Not giving anything away he walks into the living room, Adele hot on his heels. He sees Logan on his stomach with Marc sitting on his back playing with a hot wheel car on his shoulder blades. Katie is sitting by his head as he rests his head on his hands as she rambles on about something that Leo didn’t catch.

“Leo’s here! And he has a gift.” Adele announces, all the other kiddo’s get up and scramble over to Leo. Hugging him around his legs. Logan slowly stands, starting to get sore from the game that night, stretching his arms above his head before he spins around to see Leo holding a cardboard carrier that you usually get from pet stores.

“What did you bring me, a pet? I’m not that lonely.” Leo smiles and wraps his arm around Logan after the kids let go of him. The little box started squeaking very quietly, catching the attention of everyone. Leo sees the excited stares he's getting from all the kids and his boyfriend so he decides to open the box.

“Meet Tortilla, I adopted her from a family owned pet store that had a litter recently. She has been handlers since she was a tiny version of herself so she is okay around kids.” He lifts a small chinchilla out of the box. She is small and soft chattering to herself as she takes in her surroundings.

Logan’s face immediately morphs into one of pure amazement and adoration. He slowly reaches towards her. “How did you know?”

“Ma found your middle school Pinterest when she was figuring out what gift to get for the holidays. She bought the cages and food for here and Finn’s place.” He smiles as Logan cuddles her gently to his chest. She seems to have taken to him Immediately, burrowing into his arms.

“I love her, I- Leo I don’t know how to respond.”

“You don’t have too. She is part of the family now, Finn has already met her. She doesn’t like him much.” They both smile at that and the kids are now around Logan looking at Tortilla who is thriving under all the attention. “I’m going to start dinner.” With that Leo takes himself into the kitchen to start cooking. He could hear Logan teaching the kids how to hold her properly and how to play with her safely as Leo cooked. He was cooking up leftovers that Celeste left.

Once they ate Leo went out to the truck to get the cage out to put it in Logan’s room. Setting up her enclosure Adele held Tortilla and Katie and Marc stood around her giving Tortilla little pets every chance they got. They placed her in the enclosure after it was ready for her and let her run around inside for a bit before she went into her little home. Logan corralled everyone to the downstairs living room where they watched a couple of movies together.

Soon enough Katie and Marc had fallen asleep on either side of Leo. Katie was basically in his lap and Marc was trying to squish himself behind Leo’s back. Leo got up once the movie ended and picked up one limp child in each arm. Logan decided to go take Adele to bed while Leo tucked the other two in. Asking if they wanted to share a bed and they said yes. So they stayed in Katie’s room both snuggling together as Leo kisses their foreheads goodnight, flicks on the nightlight that makes shapes on the ceiling and leaves the door open a crack so they don’t feel trapped if they wake up.

They met down on the couch again and sat together, Leo’s arm over the back of the couch with Logan resting his head on his shoulder, both tired but not ready for bed.

“We should call Finn, make sure he is in his hotel room safe.” Leo yawns as he is talking while Logan pulls out his phone and starts a FaceTime call with Finn. He doesn’t answer the first time so they try again, him answering on the first ring.

“You guys interrupted my shower concert! I was jamming out.” Finn is only in a towel still dripping wet, he takes a smaller towel and starts drying his hair while looking at the mirror, his phone set up to lean against it on the counter. Leo and Logan share a look of appreciation at their boy.

“You should drop the towel ginger boy, show us what we are missing.” Leo speaks up smirking when he sees Finn turn red.

“You have kids awake!”

“Non, they are asleep.” Logan adds in as they watch Finn pick up the phone and start walking towards the bed, tossing them so they only see the ceiling. They start booing and Finn laughs as he picks the phone back up now in a pair of Leo’s boxers with fish on them. They have become his favorites.

“I was changing, chill out.” He still has the towel from his hair around his shoulders, he just looks at them for a bit taking in how soft and sweet they look curled up together. “You guys are so fucking cute.” He shares a look with Logan and he knows what’s gonna happen. Leo starts talking about the day as Logan leans up to whisper something in his ear. Finn watched as Leo’s face changed from an innocent smile to a dark blush and a slightly shocked face.

“Bedroom?” Leo nods as Logan winks at the phone and drags the taller man to the bedroom, looking around for a second he grabs a chair and pulls it close to the bed while Leo turns on the light. Finn is excitedly watching his screen as Logan tackles Leo onto the bed.

“Tell me what’s the plannn!” Finn whines over the phone and Logan just looks at him from where he is between Leo’s legs and smirks before diving in for a spicy kiss. Logan shoved his tongue in Leo’s mouth taking control of the kids like he hasn’t ever before. Leo is pliant under him and yanks on his shirt as they make out.

Logan leans back and tugs his shirt over his head trying to toss it over the chair but instead throwing it directly at the phone.

“Hey!” Finn shouts from under the shirt, Leo laughs as Logan leans over to pluck the shirt off him. He blows a kiss at the camera before a shirt hits him in the head covering his eyes.

“Hey!” Leo and Finn both start laughing as Logan tosses the other shirt away from them and stands up on the bed pulling down his pants and shakily taking them off before he lands on his knees and yanks Leo’s sweats down.

“In a rush Lo?” Leo smiles as Logan starts furiously digging through his side table drawer for what Leo was guessing was lube. Tossing random papers and a small book on the floor in the process.

“Kinda, I’ve been wanting to fuck you for months!” Leo smiles as Logan finds the small bottle of lube and kneels between his legs. “This okay?”

“Only if We can start with me riding you.” Logan basically moans at the thought. And pours some lube on his fingers.

“Want to watch while I finger Leo? Finn?”

“Is that even a question that needs an answer?” Logan grabs the phone with his clean hand and turns the camera around so that Finn can watch. Leo has taken it upon himself to grab his own knees and pull them towards his chest, giving Logan more room. Finn and Logan both have the wind knocked out of them at the sight.

Logan slowly presses his finger into Leo and is a little surprised when Leo asks him to push it all the way in. Logan complies and Leo moans flushing dark on his chest and inner thighs. Logan starts to pull out and push in and as he does Leo keeps asking for more.

“Baby be Patient.”

“I’m not good at being patient.” Leo’s face is to the side and his eyes are closed S rushing his brow every once in a while when Logan grazes his prostate. He looks beautiful.

Logan eventually adds another finger and Leo starts rocking back on his hand.

“Look at you~” Finn says over the phone, he’s palming himself through his boxers, he doesn’t want to touch until they get to the main event no matter how bad he wants to.

Leo smiles a little, showing off his dimples. Logan doesn’t think he needs to be prepped much more but he is loving watching Leo rock back on his fingers.

“Lo, I’m ready.” Leo starts to sit up as Logan pulls his fingers out Leo kisses him and flips them over so Leo is straddling Logan. He grabs Logan’s phone from his hand and sets it up on top of the headboard that is secured into the wall instead of the bed. “Can you see?”

“Better than I have in my whole life.” Finn smiles looking red and relaxed. Leo watches as Logan lubes himself up. Wiping his hand on the blanket before he rests his hands on Leo’s thighs, tracing his thumb over Matilda’s face as he watches Leo sink down on him. Both gasping, Leo doesn't hesitate to start moving. Logan’s light grasp on Leo's thighs turns into a hard grip within a few seconds. Leo brings himself up and lets gravity take him back down punching sounds out of him as he goes.

“Leo! Leo! I want to change position!” Logan was begging Leo who had his head tipped back, one hand in his hair the other slowly stroking his cock. He looks down at Logan and nods letting the shorter man take over. Leo pulls off and is positioned on his hands and knees. Logan slips back in him and starts fucking him nice and slow until neither of them can take it anymore. He speeds up both of them moaning quieter than usual so they don’t wake up anyone in the house. Logan is getting close so he reaches around and starts jerking Leo off fast with no real rhythm, his own thrusts getting sloppy.

His orgasm sneaks up on him and he isn’t able to give Leo a warning as he cums into him, fucking Leo through his orgasm he plasters himself across Leo’s back kissing his sweaty shoulder blades as he continues to jerk Leo until he feels as warm wet feeling on his hand. Leo must have warmed him but his ears aren’t working. He pulls out of Leo and they both sit up in time to see Finn cumming so hard it hits his chest.

“That was amazing boys, I wish I was there in person.” They both sleepily nod and share a short kiss before taking the phone and heading to Logan ensuite bathroom which is small but gets the job done. They shower with Finn propped in the corner where the water doesn’t hit, just cleaning each other off and hugging under the spray.

They fall into bed and drift off to sleep with Finn who forgot to plug in his phone. It dies some time during the night, making him sleep in a bit longer than he meant too.

But he wasn’t bothered, because he spent the night with his boys.

His boys that he loves.

They really need to tell Leo they love him… when he gets home.

[ianxgallavich]

Here's something I couldnt get out of my head, so I just wrote, and now you have to feel the pain of it too

tw: major character death

In My Dreams - Jegulus

-

I save him in my dreams. When things seem simpler, when they feel just a tiny bit easier.

Even by just a little. I can do anything that I want, be anything.

But all I want is to keep him safe.

I save him just before he hits the water. before anything can corrupt his breathing.

I grab onto his hands, arms, face,

but he's slipping, slipping away

So I dive in, and make sure every part of me and him is one, and that I may never let him go so easily again.

And I save him.

I save him so that I may save myself.

We surface, the air on my skin seems colder, monsters from below threaten to pull me under,

succumb to his fate, make it ours,

but I won't let them, can't actually.

I'm just stubborn that way.

James "savior complex" Potter you used to call me.

I'll do everything in my power to ring those words true.

But then I open my eyes, it was all but a dream.

I turn, see her lying at my side,

but I wish she were you.

I let myself revel in it before dooming myself to the guilt.

And I love her, I do.

But, Reg,

Regulus black broke me,

and his death killed me.

I cover my face with my hands, maybe I can try and fathom that the warmth from them are yours.

But it's never the same,

I couldn't save him, and it's pulled me apart, and left me there, open and raw, to sting.

Like alcohol on a wound, like the wind blowing and blowing till you're all dried out and cracked and all you can do is crumble till you're nothing.

Nothing is like Regulus Black.

As warm as his eyes, as bright as his rarest smile.

He was a treasure in a sinking boat, a prize in a doomed game

Gold in a safe, locked without a key

Regulus Black is the best thing that he could never have. 

Too good to be true, too dead to be loved.

And James Potter was too in love to understand that Regulus could never be loved by him,

he could never be loved by anyone.

Regulus and James both broken boys,

and soon enough, both dead ones too.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny 

P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta​ bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)

Words: 4,641

Series’ Masterlist

Book V // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker

Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.

"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"

"Shut up!"

"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"

"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."

"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.

"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.

"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.

"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.

"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.

"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."

"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"

"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"

"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.

"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."

The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.

Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.

They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.

Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.

"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"

"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"

"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.

Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."

"You're joking... right?"

"Erick," The woman repeated.

"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"

Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.

"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"

"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."

"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.

"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.

"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"

"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.

"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"

"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"

"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."

"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.

"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."

"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.

"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.

The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...

It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.

Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."

"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."

"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."

Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.

"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"

"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.

"They take turns," Her mother sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.

"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."

"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"

"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.

"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.

It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.

"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"

"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"

"Go ahead..."

She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.

"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"How lucky I am."

Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.

"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."

He smiled, unbothered.

"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."

"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."

"You'd make a cute princess."

"C'mon —"

"I mean it."

"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."

He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?

She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.

Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."

He nodded shortly.

"We can talk later?"

He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.

"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.

"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."

The Ministry of Magic

PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES

The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.

"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."

"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"

"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."

The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.

The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.

Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.

"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"

She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.

"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."

"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"

"Certainly."

"To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.

"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."

"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."

"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.

Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.

"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."

The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.

"Can I hear what this is about first?"

Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.

"A word, then?"

Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.

"You can stay."

The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.

"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.

The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.

"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."

Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.

"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."

"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.

"Alone?" Mel frowned.

Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.

"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."

"Yes."

"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."

"I don't see  —"

"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."

"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"

Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.

"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."

"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.

"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."

"What about my animagus lessons?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."

She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.

"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"

"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."

"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."

"What about Harry?"

"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."

"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"

"You can't."

Erick looked at her irritated.

"It's not like you can do magic outside school."

"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"

"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."

"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"

"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.

"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.

Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.

"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."

"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."

"Very well."

"You're quiet."

"I have a lot to think about."

Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.

The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.

"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.

"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.

"Won't you?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't ask me to stay?"

Harry stared at her.

"No."

He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.

Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.

She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...

"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."

"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."

"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"

She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.

Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.

"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."

"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"

"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"

"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."

In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.

They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...

Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.

He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.

Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.

"I should go."

"Yeah..."

"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."

"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."

Harry laughed.

"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."

"It's July!"

"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."

"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"

"Yeah, but now's different."

"Different how?"

"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"

Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.

"What?" Harry tilted his head.

"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."

"What?" He asked again, this time softer.

"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."

Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."

A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.

"Be careful."

"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."

Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.

It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.

"I can't do it — We haven't talked about  the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"

"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"

"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.

"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"

"— I care for you too —"

"— But just —"

"— as friends!"

They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.

"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."

"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"

"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"

"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"

"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."

"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"

Emily stopped folding her clothes.

"Something nagging that head of yours?"

"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."

"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"

"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.

"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."

Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."

"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."

"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."

"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.

"You don't need lots, just the right one."

Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:

"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."

Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"

"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"

The woman sighed.

"Only once."

"When?"

"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."

"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.

"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."

Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.

"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."

"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."

Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.

'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.

Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."

"This one's the first we do with permission."

"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."

"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"

"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."

"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

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[corinnesamuels]

Guarding the Gates, Chapter 3: No More Questions, Please.

 . . . the Ministry of Magic requests that anyone with information on the whereabouts of any of the aforementioned witches and wizards listed as missing contacts the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at their earliest convenience, as their families would like to see them home. Up next: The Ministry of Magic reports the recent hurricanes reported in the West Country are the work of giants in league with You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters—

“Merlin and fucking Morgana.” Lily curses, running a hand over her face roughly in frustration. The mental notes she had been taking were beginning to look like a NEWT-level essay, but she still hadn’t gotten word that it was time to start working. She watched the skies each morning for owls and even checked the muggle post. Dumbledore had always been peculiar, and if she didn’t know better, she might have thought he’d forgotten. 

“I would advise you to rest up, Lily.” He had said in their last meeting. “Once we begin in earnest, breaks may be few and far between.

Lily sighs and lets her attention drift back to the wireless. They had shifted from missing persons and calamities to the upcoming Celestina Warbeck concert. It was almost odd to catch the juxtaposition, but people do need joy in times like these. 

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Lily looks up to see a barn owl tapping at her window. She opens the window and offers up pieces of bacon to the owl, which hoots happily as it sticks out a leg. Lily unties it and begins to do a quick scan, but the first line lets her know that it wasn’t from Dumbledore.

  I’m back, bitches!

  Lily laughs out loud, recognizing the telltale greeting style of one Dorcas Meadowes. Lily guesses that Dorcas just sent the same letter to her, Marlene, and Mary to save time. Dorcas talked a bit about her time with family over in the States.

  Disco is dying, sadly, but there’s this new upbeat thing happening that I expect to really take off. They’re calling it “rap.” Race relations are still shit, but there’s a little progress, at least. I was hoping I’d be able to at least say the same about pureblood mania in England by the time I got back, but by the looks of things, the opposite has happened.

  “You’re right about that.” Lily says to herself dejectedly. At the end of Dorcas’ letter, she recommends they get together soon, and Lily couldn’t agree more. She writes a quick note saying that she can’t wait to catch up and offers up her flat as the gathering place. Lily taps the letter with her wand three times to duplicate it and sends the letters back off with Dorcas’ owl. As it flies away, she thinks of how excited she is to see them, but how difficult it might be for Mary. Lily hopes that gathering in a private place will help make Mary comfortable enough to join them but understands if it doesn’t. Mary had been more timid than the other girls in their year, and a timid muggle born was unfortunately too easy of a target for the Death-Eaters-in-Training over in Slytherin House. Since they’d finished school, Mary had taken a job in muggle London. Not sure that she wanted to risk being the focus of more attacks, she limited her interactions with the wizarding world as much as possible. 

Lily doesn’t judge Mary or blame her. But Lily didn’t have anything tethering her to the muggle world anymore. Petunia wanted nothing to do with her. Her parents and the rest of their family were all gone. And when she thinks of her life ten and twenty years from now, it’s always filled with the same wonder she felt when she first discovered the expansiveness and sheer possibility of magic. She thinks of children from non-magical families that need a safe space to learn and grow. She thinks of how the magic running through her veins is as much a part of her as the eyes she inherited from her father or the hair she inherited from her mother. And if that meant fighting for a place here, for herself and for others, then so be it.

The next day a letter comes from Marlene saying she had a few days off from St. Mungo’s and would be in attendance. Among other things.

  I’ll bring takeaway too. I don’t have faith that Lily’s cooking has gotten any better in the last four years.

  “Tramp.” Lily mutters.

A letter never comes from Mary to let them know if she would attend or not, but she was the first one to stumble out of Lily’s fireplace a few days later.

“I made a last-second decision because I’ve missed you terribly.” Mary says nervously. She tucks a blonde lock of hair behind her ear and looks at the floor before looking up at Lily. “I brought the good stuff, too.” She says, gesturing to a box containing several rather large bottles of mead sitting on her hip. 

Lily, who had been searching for a record to put on the player when Mary stumbled in, scrambles to her feet to take the box from Mary. She places it on the ground and immediately envelops Mary in the kind of embrace that makes it difficult to breathe. Mary quickly returns it, holding on to Lily for dear life. Lily feels her shoulders quake slightly and knows that Mary’s eyes are becoming as damp as her own. Yes, Lily had missed her friend dearly. She’d missed all of them. But knowing that Mary fought through her demons to see her? Lily isn’t taking that for granted.

“I’ve missed you.” She says when they take a step back. Lily uses her thumbs to wipe tears from Mary’s face before using the back of her hand to handle her own. 

“I’ve missed you more.” Mary says through a watery laugh that Lily returns. 

“Now this ‘good stuff’ you say you brought,” Lily says once they’ve gotten themselves composed again. She reaches into the box and pulls out one of the bottles. “Rosemerta’s Oak-Matured Mead, eh? Mary, you spoil us!”

“Yes, well. I wanted it to feel like we were sneaking it into Gryffindor Tower again.” Mary smiles. 

“James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were terrible influences on us.” Says Lily with a smile at the memories of her sneaking through Hogwarts tunnels with James to get  supplies  from The Three Broomsticks for various occasions. “Why didn’t we start hanging out with them sooner?”

“Because you said James was a git.”

“Well, in my defense, he was at the time.”

Lily and Mary look at each other and break into laughter as Lily’s fireplace turns green again. Dorcas and Marlene step out in quick succession and begin screaming and scooping Lily and Mary into a loud, weepy group hug. 

“Oh my God, Mary!”

“You came! I’m so happy to see you!”

“Lily, you’re really back for good?”

Once they settled and begun wiping away tears, Lily summons four glasses and plates. “Mary splurged on us birds and got us the good stuff.

“Is that so? Do I need to put out?” Dorcas asks. “Because if this stuff is as good as I remember when we were sneaking it into the tower, then I might not mind too much.” She says happily as she helps herself to the mead. 

“Not necessary, Dorcas, thank you, though.” Mary laughs before looking around at the girls anxiously. “My boyfriend might not like that.”

“Well, you kept that quiet!” Lily says.

“I’ve only been here a few minutes!” Mary replies. “He’s actually the one that got the mead. I . . . I’m still not quite comfortable in public wizarding spaces. It feels too exposed. Especially with things getting worse. But Reg knows I’ve missed you guys and told me that he’d do whatever he could to help me feel comfortable enough to come.”

Marlene, who had been laying out the food she’d brought, looks up and places a hand to her heart. “Mary, that’s beautiful.” She gushes.

“Right. Tell me, Mare,” Dorcas says, scooting closer to Mary and bumping her shoulder lightly. “does he have any brothers?”

They all laugh, and Mary shakes her head. “No, Reg only has sisters.”

“Better luck next time, I guess.” Dorcas sighs.

“Well, I’m flexible, so let me know if any are single.” Marlene wiggles her eyebrows, and they all laugh again.

“Reg . . . this wouldn’t happen to be Reginald Cattermole, would it?” Lily asks as she swirls her mead around in her glass.

“That’s the one.” Mary has a soft smile and a dreamy look in her eyes. “He’s been so good to me. Incredibly patient and kind.” She looks down at her feet, a smile still resting across her face. “He encourages me not to give up on the wizarding world and goes above and beyond to make me feel safe. I couldn’t dream of a better situation.”

Lily’s heart feels lighter than it has in months as she listens to Mary explain how she and Reginald had randomly run into each other on one of Mary’s rare wizarding excursions. It’s beautiful to know that people are still finding and experiencing love, even when it seems like the world is burning. She wishes that she felt like this was feasible for her. 

Honestly, had she not been distracted, she might have seen what was coming next.

“So, Lily.” Marlene begins with a mischievous gleam in her eye. “You and Potter finally making the beast with two backs, or are you still both pretending that you don’t want to?”

“Marlene.” Mary scolds as Dorcas laughs.

“I was wondering who was going to ask.” Dorcas grins, leaning in closer to get the details. Lily rolls her eyes.

“James and I are, again, just friends.” Says Lily as she throws a few chips at Marlene. “And besides, he has a girlfriend.”

“Ah.” The other three girls say in unison before dissolving into giggles. Lily is frustrated to find that she can’t prevent herself from joining them.

“Why don’t I have better friends?”

Dorcas gestures around the room. “Because we’re the best there is, love.”

“Ta.” Marlene says, raising a glass in salute before taking a large swallow and pouring herself another. 

“Now look, on a serious note. We don’t have to do this.” Dorcas says more kindly. “But Lily, why on earth didn’t you two get together in the first place? We all thought it was just a matter of time. The boys too.”

Marlene and Mary’s eyes wander from Dorcas to Lily, waiting to see what kind of answer they’ll get. Whether it’s because Lily is happy to see them, dying to talk to someone, or pleasantly tipsy, she doesn’t know, but she surprises herself and decides to tell them the truth.

Read the rest at ao3

[t4twolfstar]

Pearl Jam songs as the marauders' story

listen here

explanations under read more

Red Mosquito - Remus is bit by Greyback

two steps ahead of him, punctures in your neck…/ Hoverin' just above your bed... (2x)/ I was bitten...must have been the devil…/ He was just paying me…/ A little visit, reminding me of his presence…

Jeremy - most of the song, Sirius

Okay so we’re going to look at the verses not the refrain for this one bc (TW su*) this song is based on an actual boy who diy died in front of his class so like no we’re not relating to that part but the “Clearly I remember/ Pickin’ on the boy/ Seemed a harmless little fuck/ But we unleashed the lion….Daddy didn't give affection, no/And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear”

Daughter - Sirius at home

Trans sirius in an abusive household………. “Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it/Tries to make her proud/ The shades go down, it's in her head/ Painted room, can't deny that something's wrong/ Don’t call me daughter, not fit to”

Leash - Sirius and Remus’ toxic codependent love and then yelling at the establishment/people who say they’re too young going too deep too hard too fast

“Troubled souls unite/ We got ourselves tonight, oh/ I am fuel you are friends we got the means to make amends/ I am lost I'm no guide but I'm by your side/ I am right by your side….We will find a way we will find our place/ Drop the leash drop the leash/Get outta' my fuckin' face”

Why Go? - Sirius becoming disenchanted w his family

Trans Sirius too of course. She seems to be stronger/ But what they want/ Her to be is weak/ She could play pretend/ She could join the game, boy/ She could be another clone….don’t come visit/mother/ why go home?

Blood - Sirius’ family trying to make him into something he’s not

Spin me round/ Roll me over/ Fucking circus/ Stab it down/ One way needle/ Pulled so slowly/ Drains and spills/ Soaks the pages/ Fills their sponges/ It’s my blood/ It’s my blood

WMA - basically about all the big pureblood families that can get away w anything

“He won the lottery when he was born/ Took his mothers white breast to his tongue/ Do no wrong so clean cut/ Dirty his hands, it comes right off” (tw for song: police, implied police violence)

Do the Evolution - Sirius ranting abt/mocking his family

Admire me, admire my home/ Admire my son, he's my clone…./ I'll do what I want but irresponsibly/ It’s evolution, baby/ I’m a thief, I'm a liar/ There’s my church, I sing in the choir:/ (Hallelujah, hallelujah)

Bushleaguer - abt the aristocracy etc

This song is literally about George bush lmao but I love it abt the upper class

“Born on third, thinks he got a triple…./The aristocrat choir sings, "what's the ruckus?”/ The haves have not a clue/ The immenseness of suffering”

Mind your manners - You guessed it - Sirius rejecting his family

I've got an unfortunate feelin’/ I've been beaten down/I feel I don't believe/ And now the truth is coming out/ What they've taken is more than a vow/ They’ve taken your innocence/ And then they throw them on a burning fire/ All along they're sayin’/ Mind your manners

My father’s son - SIRIUS

I am my father's son,/ Yeah, too bad he was a psychopath and now I'm the next in line, , dear mother, yes, surely she's a work of art,…/Can I get a reprieve?/ This gene pool dark and deep…./Now father you're dead and gone and I'm finally free to be me,/ Thanks for all your dark gifts for which I've got no sympathy,/ I’m living in a walled-up place in the bounds of 5th symphony

Yellow Ledbetter - Sirius

Okay so 97% of the the lyrics are indecipherable when Eddie sings them but you can hear I don’t wanna stay

Go - Regulus to Sirius as he’s trying to leave

(Abuse tw) So sorry about this one yall …… .but yes I think this is regulus finally realizing that he shouldn’t have let things get so bad at home (Sirius blames him for not stepping in even tho he’s a child there’s nuance here etc) and he’s begging Sirius not to leave him here “Oh please don't go out on me don't go out on me now/ Never acted up before don't go on me now/ I swear I never took it for granted just thought of it now/ Suppose I abused you just passing it on….I pulled the covers over him shoulda' pulled the alarm/ Turned to my nemesis…Please don't go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ Don’t go on me/ please”

Rearviewmirror - Sirius running away

(Tw abuse) Time to emancipate/ I guess it was the beatings made me wise….Forced to endure/ What I could not forgive/ I seem to look away/ Wounds in the mirror waved/ It wasn't my surface most defiled

Can’t Keep - Sirius running away from home

I want to shake/ I want to wind out/ I want to leave/ This mind and shout/ I’ve lived/ All this life/ Like an ocean/ In disguise/ I don't live for ever/ You can't keep/ Me here

Hail, Hail - Remus and Sirius’ codependent strong love

A how I love you till the day I die...ah and beyond…/ are we going to the same place? If so, can I come?/ It’s egg rollin' thick and heavy...all the past we carry…

Release - Remus thinking about his dad

Remus’ dad is so full of guilt for his hand in remus’ transformations that he extracted himself from remus’ life. Remus laments here, “Oh, dear dad/ Can you see me now?/ I am myself/ Like you somehow” “I'll hold the pain/Release me” he’d would rather have a dad, guilt and all, here, than the self appointed absence but since you left me with the absence and grief and loss of it, at least release me from it, loosen your grip so I can move on.

Present Tense - Sirius and Remus talking probably laying in the forbidden forest assuaging one another’s beliefs of the gnarled beasts they think they are

BUGS - prob remus when he turns before the boys know

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Who you are - probably James at remus when he thinks he’s a big monster

Who are we?/ Who we are./ What’s your part? Who you are / You are who you are.

Save you - GOD THIS SONGG okay this is probably James @ Sirius when home life is bad and also Sirius @ Remus and also Remus @ Sirius it’s all of them @ all of them

Gonna save you fucker, not gonna lose you/ Feeling cocky and strong, can't let you go,/ Too important to me/ Too important to us, we'd be lost without you/ Baby, let yourself fall, I'm right below you now/ And fuck me if I say something you don't want to hear/ And fuck if you only hear what you want to hear/ Fuck me if I care, but I'm not leaving here/ You helped me when I was down, I'll help when you're down/ Why are you hitting yourself, c'mon hit me instead

Life Wasted - Sirius @ Reg re: leaving

I escaped it, a life wasted./ I’m never going back again…./ You're always saying you're too weak to be Strong./ You’re harder on yourself than just about Anyone/ Why swim the channel just to get this far?/ Halfway there, why would you turn around?

Severed Hand - Reg joins the death eaters

Big man stands behind an open door/ Said, leave your lady on the cement floor./ Got some kicks, want to take a ride?/ I said, yeah!/ Oh please understand I just need, my friend,/ A way a way a way home

Brain of J. - Reg and Sirius arguing after he joins the death eaters

The whole world will be different soon/ The whole world will be relieving/ You, you've been taught/ We’d been the same, now they got you in line/ Stand behind the stripes/ There will be order, so give it a good mind…./And by name/ The name they gave me/ The name I'm letting go

Deep - Regulus knows he’s in too deep

This is Regulus knowing he’s in too deep, Voldemort and the death eaters are such bad fucking people and he’s in too deep now (massive tw for this song for drugs and se*ual violence)

“Ponders his Maker, ponders his will/ in too deep/ can’t touch the bottom”

Pilate - Remus abt Sirius ;0)

Like Pilate I have a dog/ (Obeys listens kisses loves)/ Walks me out of town/ Still one's a crowd/ Making angels in the dirt/ Looking up looking all around

You Are - in love 🥰

Love is a tower/ Of strength to me/ I am the shoreline/ But you're the sea

Red Bar - the war begins

War, I’m crazy/ War I’m crazy I’m war the song is also a lil goofy so it’s maybe just like going crazy being so in it that it’s funny now

Porch - WARTIME EVERYONE @ THEIR LOVERS

It’s the war and everyone knows today could be their last day and tensions are running high in relationships and they love each other so much and need each other but snap at one another nonetheless

What the fuck is this world running to?/ You didn't leave a message/ At least I could have learned your voice one last time/ Daily minefield, this could be my time by you/ Would you hit me? Would you hit me?/ Hear my name, take a good look/ This could be the day/ Hold my hand, walk beside me

Thin Air - babes in love

There's a light, when my baby's in my arms,/ There’s a light, when the window shades are drawn…/ And I know she's reached my heart, in thin air.

All or None - More war time songs soz

Here's the selfless confession/ Leading me back to war/ Can we help that our destinations/ Are the ones we've been before?/ I still try to run on/ But it's all or none

Parting Ways - Lily @ James during the war

She knows their future's burning/ But she can smile just the same, same/ And though her mood is fine today/ There’s a fear they'll soon be parting ways

Love Boat Caption - Sirius/Remus, Lily/James, etc etc. during the war

Love boat captain/ Take the reigns and steer us towards the clear, here/ It’s already been sung, but it can't be said enough/ All you need is loveIt's an art to live with pain/ Mix the light into grey/ Lost nine friends we'll never know/ Two years ago today/ And if our lives became too long/ Would it add to our regret?…./Hold me and make it the truthThat when all is lost, there will be you

Evacuation - going into hiding

Lukin- Lily and James have to go into hiding

(Tw st*lking mention in explanation, gun mention in song) The song was written by Eddie when he was being stalked and he had to bring himself and his wife to a friend’s house for safety.

In Hiding - Lily and James are in hiding and enter Peter

No way in or out/ I turned and walked the hallways/ And pulled the curtains down…./I swallow the truth to keep from lying/ i'm no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now/ Yeah, it's funny how things change so much/ It’s all state of mind

Once - Peter Pettigrew betraying the marauders

Literally about someone committing a mass murder. “Once upon a time I could control myself.” “Mimic whats insane.”

Around the Bend - I'm so sorry ummm but Lily to Harry on Halloween 💀

I am wishing you a well…./ I hold your head deep in my arms/ My fingertips, they close your eyes/ Off you dream, my little child/ There’s a sun around the bend/ Please forgive me, won't you, dear?/ Please forgive and let me share with you, around the bend/ You’re an angel when you sleep/ How I want your soul to keep, on and on around the bend

Garden - Sirius being taken to Azkaban

He’s just taking his fate as it comes to him.

The direction of the eye/ So misleading/ The defection of the soul/ Nauseously quick/I will walk, with my hands bound/ I will walk, with my face blood/ I will walk, with my shadow flag/ Into your garden/ Garden of stone

Even flow - IS SO VERY MUCH SIRIUS IN AZKABAN

sung from the pov of an incarcerated person waiting for life to begin again

BUGS - Sirius in Azkaban (yes I already said this abt remus but idc)

Bugs on my ceiling/ Crowded the floor/ Standing sitting kneeling…/ A few block the door/ And now the question’s:/ Do I kill them?/ Become their friend?/ Do I eat them?/ Do I join them?/ I’ll just stop now/ I’ll become naked/ And with the...I'll become one

Black - Remus lamenting about Sirius’ perceived deception

Remembering their love and how now so many of his memories are tainted (by) black and that all of this has changed him fundamentally (star imagery, “black”, “tattooed everything”)

Indifference - Sirius in grimmauld place, sirius in Azkaban

Sirius taking his home life in stride until he can leave, taking Azkaban in stride bc it doesn’t matter any way bc he believes he deserve it anyway

“Pretend I'm free to roam/ I will make my way/ Through one more day in hell/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I will hold the candle/ Till it burns up my arm/ Oh, I'll keep takin' punches/ Until their will grows tired/ Oh, I will stare the sun down/ Until my eyes go blind/ Hey, I won't change direction/ And I won't change my mind/ How much difference does it make?/ How much difference does it make?/ I’ll swallow poison, until I grow immune/ I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room”

Alive - Remus post ’81

Eddie originally wrote the song as a lament - why did I live when he didn’t? Why am I still alive?

“Is something wrong she said, of course there is, you’re still alive she said, but do I deserve to be?”

Animal - Remus after ’81 when he needs to transform alone

Feat. A throwback to being turned (so tw: abd*ction) “Torture from you to me, yeah/Abducted from the street/I'd rather be with an animal”

Nothingman - Sirius and Remus after ’81

Once divided nothing left to subtract/ Some words when spoken can't be taken back/ Walks on his own with thoughts he can't help thinking/ Future’s above but in the past he's slow and sinking…./ She once believed in every story he had to tell/ One day she stiffened took the other side/ Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell/ One just escapes one's left inside the well

Smile - Remus @ the marauders (except it’s after ’81 and he just thinks of them fondly)

Don't it make you smile?/ I miss you already/ I miss you always/ I miss you already/ I miss you all day/ This is how I feel/ Three crooked hearts swirls all around/ Don’t it make you smile?

In my tree - remus abt sirius after ’81

I remember him, yeah…/ I swore I knew everything, oh yeah…/ They say knowledge is a dream, yeah…/ He's growing up just like me, yeah…

Light Years - Remus abt Sirius

But now you're gone, I haven't figured out why/ I’ve come up with riddles and jokes about war/ I’ve figured out numbers and what they're for/ I’ve understood feelings and I've understood words/ But how could you be taken away?/ Back pages and days alone that could have been spent/ Together, but we were miles apart Every inch between us becomes light years now

I’m open - Remus!!!! Post ’81

After spending half his life searching he still felt as blank/ As the ceiling at which he stared/ He is alive but feels absolutely nothing/ So is he?/ When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him/…..So this is what it's like to be an adult/ If he only knew now what he knew then

Thumbing my Way - Remus post ’81 again blah blah ikik

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me/ If there was a key you took it in your hand/ There’s no wrong or right but I'm sure there's good and bad/ The questions linger overhead

Rats - we know how remus like to soliloquize …. This is him waxing poetic about how fucking horrible Peter is

The song itself is kind of listing the many ills of humankind saying how rats don’t compare to people bc they don’t do all this. But Peter isnt really a rat. He’s a man and oppresses like a man and betrays like a man and takes like a man.

“Drink the blood of their so-called best friend….They don't scurry when something bigger comes their way….Don't take what's not theirs“

Oceans - Sirius escaping Azkaban

Hold on to the thread/ The currents will shift, glide me towards/ You know something's left/ And we're all allowed to dream of the next…..The sea will rise/ Please stand by the shore/ I will be there once more

Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town - Sirius after Azkaban

200004309248% sirius returning from 12 years isolated. He doesn’t really recognize most things. Remus wouldn’t recognize him. He’s different. Changed by being unchanged. He couldn’t grow and learn and morph and become. He stagnated yet decayed. But he’s back and he recognizes your skin and your breath. He’s back.

Off He Goes - Sirius is a Sagittarius in the first half, second half is post PoA

Know a man his face seemed pulled and tense/ Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds/ So I approach with tact/ Suggest that he should relax/ But he's always movin' much too fast/ Said he'll see me on the flip side/ On this trip he's taken for a ride…./ And now I rub my eyes for he has returned/ Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned/ For he still smiles and he's still strong/ Nothing’s changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown/ And now he's home, and we're laughing, like we always did/ My same old, same old friend/ Until a quarter-to-ten

All Those Yesterdays - and cue the bath scene, remus washes his lost love

Don't you think you oughta rest?/ Don’t you think you oughta lay you head down?/ You don't think there's time to stop/ There’s time enough for you to lay your head down tonight tonight/ Let it wash away/ All those yesterdays

[sparkles-and-trash]

Under-appreciated positive attitudes and bright smiles, a JATP one-shot!

my secret Santa fic for @gaylebcovington ~

Julie accused the boys on being too reliant on their “ghost powers”, and the boys are proving her wrong with a bed. The boys are working especially hard, because they put the ultimate prize at stake; their pride.  

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“Isn't this kind of thing usually reserved for autumn related fairs?”

“What does that even matter, Alex? We're here now, and at least we don't have to worry about freezing our butts off!”

“Thanks Reggie, your ability to constantly remind me of my untimely demise is just astonishing!”

Luke was trying really hard to ignore his friends' banter, he was usually pretty good at it, but right now he was trying really hard to concentrate, and it was not easy to combine those two tasks.

“Guys!” he finally exclaimed.

His two friends, Alex and Reggie, both spun around and looked at him with wide eyes.

“But Luke, Reggie was-”

“No,” Luke cut him off and raised his hand dismissively

“Alex was being really-”

“Reggie,” Luke cut the other boy off just as swiftly.

“I don't want to hear it guys,” Luke continued, getting his serious-face on.

“We're on a mission here, right guys? Out of our comfort zones. We need to focus, and work together, if we ever want to see our home, friends, our instruments, any of it, again.”

Luke finished his sentence and took a deep breath.

The two other boys stood perfectly still, waiting for him to continue.

“We can only do this if we agree to focus all our brains and every on the task ahead. Are you guys ready for that?”

Reggie and Alex nodded seriously.

“But...” Reggie started carefully.

“What, Reg?” Luke and Alex asked at the same time.

Reggies dark eyes quickly looked at between Luke and Alex.

“We can still poof out of here, right?” he asked carefully.

“Like, we don't actually have to stay in here forever if we can't find our way out? Because I don't think I can survive the rest of my lif-... ehm, death, without my base. Or cute girls.”

The two other boys rolled their eyes and turned around, continuing forward.

“Yes, Reggie, of course we could just poof out,” Luke started, and Reggie smiled, relived.

“But we won't!” Luke added, and Reggies smile sunk a little, and Luke went on.

“Because, Reggie, if we do, we would be cheating. And we're not cheaters, are we?”

Reggie sighed.

“No, of course we're not.”

Alex snickered a few steps a head fo them.

“Since when are you so set on not cheating, Luke?”

Alex looked over his shoulder as he asked the question, and when he didn't get an answer right away, he went on.

“I, personally, think what you're really set on, is impressing Julie.”

Reggie grinned.

“You know what, Alex?” he said, still grinning like an idiot, “I think you are absolutely right!”

“Whatever,” Luke grumbled, and the two other boys shared a knowing glance.

“I don't know why you guys are so riled up anyways, it's just a freaking corn-maze!”

Luke threw his hands out as he finished the sentence.

“An impossible freaking corn-maze, that's what it is,” Reggie mumbled.

“It's supposed to be for kids, guys,” Luke sighed.

“Who makes a corn-maze for Christmas, anyways?” Alex added, as he peeped around a corner.

“I'm pretty sure we're walking in circles, by the way.”

Reggie shook his head.

“No way, dude, we're almost out, I can feel it!”

“Oh, like you could feel that the exit was just a little more to the left an hour ago?” Alex mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Luke threw his head back.

“We need to-”

“Focus!” Alex and Reggie finished his sentence for him.

“We know!”

“Then why won't you guys just freaking do it?” Luke asked.

“I just feel very under-appreciated right now,” Reggie said sadly, slumping his shoulders.

“Oh, come on Reg, you know we love you, but you've been wrong every single time since we got into this maze!” Alex said and lightly nudged Reggie's shoulder.

“How do you know that, though?” Reggie asked with knitted eyebrows.

“I mean, what if we're right by the exit now, because we've been walking the right way this whole time!”

Luke sighed and shook his head.

“I'm pretty sure this thing is only supposed to take like, 20 minutes, dude,” he said tiredly.

“And we've been here, what, almost two hours?” Alex added.

Reggie shrugged.

“Maybe we're just walking way slower than everyone else.”

“Some of us sure are,” Alex muttered, and Reggie looked up quickly.

“Hey!” he said, “See! You're not appreciating my positive attitude and bright smile, or anything!”

“Reggie that's th- ugh!”

Alex's sentence was broken midway through as he bumped right into Luke, who had stopped in the middle of the path to look up at the sky.

“Dude!” Alex exclaimed, “why are you stopping?!”

Luke knitted his eyebrows as he kept looking up at the sky.

“I'm trying to figure out our position based on the sky!” he explained.

“Pretty sure that only works when the stars are out, bro,” Reggie said and patted Luke on the shoulder.

“Oh,” Luke sighed, and his shoulder slumped.

“See?” Alex said with a grin and threw his arm around Reggie's shoulder.

“That I can appreciate!”

Reggie bright grin only lasted for a few seconds, as his face fell simnifically.

“Okay, you're right Alex. We have definitely been right here before. We're walking in circles,” he said, sounded defeated.

“Oh goddamn it, I knew it!” Luke threw his head back.

“Well, Reggie, I sure appreciate how you're finally accepting the fact that we are walking in circles!” Alex said, and slapped Reggie lightly on the shoulder.

“We're going to die in here...” Luke mumbled.

Alex and Reggie both opened their mouths ready with comebacks, but Luke raised his hand to cut them off.

“I know we're already dead!”

“Well, at least we have all the time in the world!” Reggie said, before putting his arm around Luke's shoulders, encouraging him to walk on.

“Dear lord, someone save me...” Luke mumbled, as the lille group kept walking.

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Just outside the exit of the corn-maze that was currently holding the three ghost boys captured, sat two dark-skinned girls, leisurely leaning back on their hands, chatting back and fourth about nothing and everything.

“I know, right?” Flynn, one of the girls, said and laughed.

“And then-”

“Wait!”

Julie, the other girl, said in a hushed tone, and held up her hand.

“I think I hear them again!” she said, and both girls got quiet.

Julie listened to the familiar banter between her three friends as they got closer to the exit, before the clearly stopped, and she heard Reggie saying that they were waling in circles, then Luke's tired sigh, and then the voices drifting away again as the boys moved in the other direction.

Julie grinned at Flynn.

“Yep, they're gone again.”

Flynn laughed loudly.

“This has to be some sort of record,” she said between gasps of laughter, “they've been in there for over two hours, and have been sooo close to the exit at least five times!”

Julie shrugged.

“I mean, we could help them, but Luke was the one who insisted on going a day without any ghost-powers!”

Flynn shook her head.

“And that poor boy would do anything to impress you, so we know cheating is out of the picture.”

Julie blushed at her friends' bluntness.

“He's just a competitive guy!” she said and averted her eyes, not being able to hide a small smile.

“Sure, and you're just kind of talent-” Flynn started, but was once again cut off by Julie's hand.

“I think they're coming again!” she said in a hushed tone, before grinning mischievously at Flynn.

“Wanna do a side-bet on how many more times they will be this close to the exit without making it out?”

[anemonenemerosa]

The Spare - Chapter 4

Hello fellow people, here comes the fourth chapter of my fic. As always, this is a spinn-off of @lumosinlove Sweater-Weather, so the universe belongs to her, while the Harry Potter characters beling to JKR.

Please be careful if you feel triggered by past abuse topics.

Chapter 4

With an exasperated huff, Regulus chucked The Hobbit into a corner of his room.

After realising that no one even seemed to know of the existence of the light fiction in the library, he began to keep all relevant books he found in his room. By now, the stack on the floor was reaching his hip. But whatever he did, he could not distract himself from the impending game against the Lions this evening. He had neither seen nor heard from Sirius since the draft, he did not expect a call, and was rather indecisive on how to react to his brother.

It was the first time the brothers played against each other in an actual game, in the NHL no less. Of course, everyone supplied their unrequested suggestions, or rather demands. The Death Eaters wanted him to rile Sirius up, taking his focus off the game. His parents insisted that he had to outshine his brother, presenting himself as the genuine heir of Orion Black.

God forbid anyone considering to ask me about that, Regulus mused.

It was not his very first game in the NHL but surely the most sensational so far. The media was all but hyped about the game but the 'Brother Rivalry' overshadowed by the 'Captain Rivalry' and Sirius' broken ankle. He was relieved that Severus took up so much media presence but he did not fool himself. A lot of eyes were going to be on him. Hence his indetermination.

Following the Death Eaters lead to distract Sirius with chirping and slurs was not a viable option. He would probably rise in their graces but also draw public attention for gamesmanship, without doubt overshadowing his actual hockey performance, which he wanted to be noticed for. Of course, his parents would not appreciate Regulus taunting Sirius either. They wanted him put Sirius to shame by performance, not immature behaviour.

They expected Regulus to outrank the Captain of the rivalling team with six years of NHL experience is his sixth-ever game. Personal relations be damned, this is a hideous demand, Regulus scoffed, finally giving up on distracting himself from his brother and stepping into the shower.

Regardless of how hard he tried, he would always be seen in relation to Sirius. Thank you, brother. You just have to fart to overshadow my life. Merde... connard stupide!

  _________________________________________________________

It hadn’t always been like that, Regulus had to acknowledge. As small boy he looked up to his bigger brother. He cared for him in a different way than their parents. While they clothed, fed and trained him, Sirius was the one who hugged and comforted Regulus when their father scolded him for being shy and introverted.

“A hockey player does not hide in corners!”, Orion used to spit, his patience always on the meagre side.

Sirius loved him in a different way than Walburga and Orion, cheering him up instead of punishing him when he messed up.

“You need to toughen up, boy” his father explained one day, “You have been pampered too much. Crying and asking for cuddles is for girls.”  

But his older brother would hear nothing of it. Sirius instructed Regulus to sneak into Sirius' bed after nightmares and during stormy nights. Thinking of it now, Regulus realised that he must have been as much of a comfort for Sirius as the other way around.

From the beginning of Regulus life, Sirius was famous for his talent but it did not affect their relationship until he was getting prepared for a professional career as soon as he turned twelve; spending the summers in training camps and receiving additional private lessons at the rink in their basement. They saw each other infrequently and Sirius was mostly too tired for playing with Regulus if he got a bit of spare time. That did not stop them from secretly snuggling up in bed.

However, their dynamics began to shift as the rising success of his brother took up all attention from their parents. Whatever concerned Sirius was more important and Regulus began to feel a constant sting of jealousy souring his mood. Then puberty hit Sirius hard, causing him to rebel against his tight schedule. Regulus was eight when he began asking Sirius to obey just to make their parents stop beating him and nine when Sirius gave in.

Daft fool, Regulus thought while scrubbing his hair with a bar of soap. If he had just kept his head down... but that wasn't Sirius.

Well, Regulus was able to learn from other people’s mistakes, kept quiet and secured himself a comparingly unbothered time. At least for a while.

Sirius draft to no other team than the Gryffindor Lions had had a severe impact, not only on Sirius' life. He remembers his brothers’ conflict after the call: The excitement from being picked first over all from a strong team mingled with the dread from their parent’s wrath concerning the particular team. Back then, Regulus did not understand the uproar. He was twelve, hadn't learned about the end of his father’s career and wanted his brother to be happy for living his dream. God, he even sneaked in a Lions hat for Sirius. Mrs. Kreacher, albeit reluctantly, bought the item during her weekly errands. Their ancient house-maid always had a soft spot for calm little Regulus that did not extend to his boisterous older brother, but making Regulus happy seemed to outweigh her reservations.

Once Sirius had left to live with the Dumais family, Regulus suddenly became the sole focus of their parent’s energy. As he was twelve, he was subjected to the same extensive training as Sirius and while he was absolutely able to hold a candle to his older brother, it was nothing to knock their parents' socks off. Sirius had already been there and Regulus keeping up was just expected, business as usual, not a big deal.

Eventually, learned what ended Orion’s hockey career. A centre of the Lions had sent him crashing into the boards, causing irreparable damage to his father’s spine. And while his father had to leave the rink forever, the other player wasn't even penalised. This put the drama about Sirius draft into perspective. Still, Regulus missed his brother immensely but after two years of dwindling visits, he got annoyed. Sirius rare calls more and more turned into chorus of praise for his team and especially the Dumais'. He was more and more badmouthing their upbringing and telling Regulus off for defending their parents. "Tu ne comprends pas, Reg." You don't understand. Of course, he never understood, did he? Little naive Reg did not just see how his brother went and found himself a better family, preferring to spend his time with them instead of his actual family, with him. No, Reg was not left-behind, he did just not understand!

_____________________________________________________________

“Je serai toujours ton frère, Reg!” Oh, fuck you!

It has been several weeks since he allowed all the memories and feelings concerning his brother to surface and it always hurt him but for now, he would channel the feelings of abandonment, anger and disappointment into determination. He would at least try and make his parents proud, would treat Sirius as much as any other player as he could, brother or not.

“Hockey is about winning, not fun, not comradery!”, his father used to stress constantly.

Regulus took that to heart. He stepped out of the shower, very wrinkly but ready to let his performance speak for him.

Soo that was chapter 4 for you, I hope you enjoyed it. Stay save and channel your inner Hufflepuff

[starlightregulus]

the stars of the night sky could never be enough

i started writing this when i was trying to write the inferi fic and then realized oh this got dark so i decided to make it completely separate! it is also available to read on ao3.

if you’re interested in a second chapter or follow up to this let me know!

-----------------------

Regulus had always been considered handsome. Not only by close family, who took every birthday and holiday as a chance to host a spectacular ball full of stuffy purebloods gossiping and spreading rumours, but also by the general populace. Though he had never exactly understood being attracted to someone based on their appearance, he realized in about his late sixth or seventh year that apparently romantic attraction based on looks was a thing and about half of his year was interested in him.

    He continued to ignore this throughout his sixth year, there being far more important things for him to focus on; his mother had been pushing him to take the Dark Mark, him being the only eligible heir for the Blacks now that Sirius was gone.

    Sirius. He wanted to hate his brother, he really did. Wanted to hate him for always being better than him, for always mastering a spell faster, for remembering the names of his great aunts and the history of their entire House-- but he couldn’t. He wanted to hate Sirius for always being that little bit smarter, for being just that much better looking, for being everything that he couldn’t be. For being the one he was compared to even when he had run away, disgracing the entire House and disowned. He was still being compared to him, still mocked for being a failure compared to his older brother.

    When Regulus was younger, it didn’t seem to matter as much. Sirius had used to protect him, both through standing in front of him, bearing the brunt of the curses their mother threw, and through sitting with him at night, when he was scared of the dark, scared of the screaming from downstairs.

    “But you’re going to leave me next year for Hogwarts, Siri. I don’t want to be alone.”

    Regulus still remembered his ten year old self standing on the platform, watching the scarlet train carrying away his only friend. The only thing that distracted him from the icy hand clamped on his shoulder was the memory of his brother’s promise ringing in his ears.

    “You’re always gonna be my best friend, Reg. And next year, you’ll be at Hogwarts with me! I’m not gonna leave you behind.”

    Regulus had stared up at him, glorifying the eleven year old as a hero; that’s what Sirius had been to him. 

    “Promise?”

    “‘Course. Promise.”

    Regulus raked a hand through his hair, staring at the door to his dormitory. Sirius had graduated from Hogwarts the year before, leaving him alone. Well, he corrected himself, it didn’t feel very different with him gone. Sirius had returned that Christmas brimming with an energy Regulus had never seen him with before. Talking excitedly about Gryffindor, about the new friends he had made. About how amazing James Potter was. About how they loved all the same things, from Quidditch to Transfiguration to pranks. How James Potter, a boy he had met only months before, was like a brother to him.

“Did you miss me Siri?”

Regulus later regretted asking. He had felt vaguely sick the entire time Sirius had talked on about how amazing his new friends were, how their Mother and Father were wrong about everything, how glad he was to be in Gryffindor. Was he not enough for Sirius anymore? 

    “Of course I did, Reg.”

But Regulus had been good at spotting lies since he was young, and he heard the hesitation. Connected it to the single letter he had received from his brother. Pasted on a fake smile as he listened to his brother chat away about the new family he had. 

    As Regulus got older, the gap between them grew. Knowing how much more severe the punishments for both of them would be if he were in any house other than Slytherin, Regulus made sure to be placed in the house of the snakes. He made alliances with purebloods. Aced his classes. Did everything his family wanted, hoping that maybe this time, they would be proud of him. But it was never quite enough for them.

    He got all O’s except in Potions? Sirius had been able to brew those potions since he was nine. 

    He made the Quidditch team in his second year? Impressive enough, sure, but Sirius was still better.

    He could never live up to what they wanted, just as he could never be good enough for Sirius. Three letters his first year from Sirius turned into one in his second, and none in his third. That only led to Sirius pretending not to hear him in his fourth. Regulus didn’t know if he was just embarrassed to be his brother or ashamed. He didn’t really want to know either.

    The attention he got from the other students as he grew older never was what he wanted. He didn’t care what the pretty blonde Slytherin wanted when she fluttered her eyelashes, what the cute black haired Ravenclaw meant when he asked Regulus to meet him after hours for “studying”. He just wanted someone to be proud of him, to like him for more than his appearance and the prestige he wielded.

    Regulus signed his initials on the bottom of the note, flourishing the quill slightly to add a slight bit more dramatic flair. He leaned back on the bed, studying the soft emerald fabric and then sighed. He was wasting time, trying to stall the inevitable. He got off the bed, staring back at the lonely trunk, holding everything that he had with him of any value to him. His eyes skimmed over the piles of textbooks, Divination cards and crystals, and landed on the black velvet box-- a gift from Sirius in his first year that held a crystal model of the stars, of both of their constellations revolving around each other. After six years, it was still his most precious possession. His eyes fixed last on the balled up piece of parchment in the corner of his trunk. He had tried for hours to write a letter to Sirius, apologizing, telling him what he was about to do, but in the end thought it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t know if Sirius would even bother to read the letter and thought that perhaps it would be better, easier, if Sirius could just forget about him. If there weren’t lingering what-ifs still there, Sirius would never bother wondering if there had been any way to save him. 

    Regulus turned away, glancing back one last time when he reached the door, staring for the last time at his home for the past seven years. Sirius would move on easily enough-- he probably wouldn’t even miss him.

    Regulus turned, calling Kreacher and apparating directly to the cave. Why put off his death longer than he had to? He felt the shadow of his demise looming over him and sank into it, almost grateful. He was almost done.

    The potion burned, like liquid fire as Kreacher poured it down his throat, his arms too weak to even hold the goblet. The pain was nothing though-- he had felt similar pain a million times before when his mother had decided that he wasn’t quite good enough for her. The hallucinations taunted him, his worst nightmares being laid out in front of him. He saw Sirius taunting him, screaming that he was worthless, pathetic, and that he was glad Regulus would finally be gone, dead weight that would finally be cut away. A nuisance would finally be left behind and forgotten.

    He watched Sirius numbly, not even having the strength to feel the hurt from everything the hallucination was saying. It was nothing that he hadn’t already thought Sirius must feel about him. He had made as much peace with it as he could. 

    And then, the hallucination vanished and he was left shaking on the cold and slimy rocks of the cave. He needed water, desperately needed it, and it was there, only feet away, glistening cold and inviting.

    Somewhere in his mind there was a warning bell, but this is why he came, wasn’t it? To get the locket, and then to be free of everything. He could hear Kreacher crying, and with all his strength, called for him to go, to destroy the locket and not to return for him. To not tell his mother of what had happened to him. It was the first and last time he had demanded something of the house elf, but it was necessary.

    For one moment there was peace as he tasted the cool water, but then hands, slimy and gray, rotted yet strong wrapped around his hands, pulling him forwards. He fought back, water splashing around him. A hand wrapped around his neck and Regulus overbalanced, falling backwards into the water. His head slipped beneath the surface and he panicked, fighting back with the last of his strength. He broke for only a moment, long enough to see Kreacher disapparate through heartbreaking wails before the hands held him tighter and dragged him into the murky depths.

    For years, people had been forcing him to do things. Deciding his fate, pulling him to places. Girls and guys alike had been trying to flirt with him, push him around, make him do things. He had resisted everything, fought fate and destiny, but now he was here. And for the first time in his life, he gave in, closing his eyes and letting the inferi pull him down into the murky depths of the lake.

[lemonade-baby]

So I spent all day writing a quick fic of the boys in the black room and it was originally really light hearted and was supposed to have some comedy, but then it got real sad as I tried to figure out how the fuck to describe... uh... nothing, so.... yeah. Here ya go.

You know that feeling you get in your stomach when something semi-bad happens and you know it’s gonna come back to haunt you, so you try to distract yourself to the point that you almost forget about, but you’re still unsettled deep down inside? That’s the feeling Alex got when he ate that hotdog.  

Sudden floatation had always been one of those things Reggie thought about at night while he laid in bed, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars Bobby stuck there in freshman year. It wasn’t as cool as he’d thought it would be, especially when he saw his own body on the gurney. It was not a sight he’d recommend to anyone.

Luke didn’t remember too much about dying, except that being the second one sucks major ass. He hadn’t been paying complete attention honestly, he’d pretty much zoned out when his eyes met the poster on the wall. Someone had already rushed to his friends aide, leaving him sickly and pale by himself in the middle of the alley.

“What the-” Reggie was holding his head when he woke up. All there was was black, and darkness, and loneliness.  

“Reg? Reggie? You’re awake?” Alex was sitting on the ground, or what felt like ground, holding his knees up to his chest. Alex scrambled to his knees and did one of those half crawls towards Reggie. Luke turned around, he’d been trying to find the end to this endless void, but both doubted he would be able to. No matter how far he walked, he didn’t move anywhere.  

“Where are we?” Reggie groaned, pushing himself up.  

“Let me paint you a picture...” Luke slung his arm around Reggie’s shoulder and put his hand out in front of them, before whispering, “dead.”

“Okay...” Alex mumbled. “How do you know we’re dead? Maybe... maybe this is just some type of weird collective dream.” Reggie pushed free and pointed towards Luke with both pointer fingers. This was followed by a smack on Reggie’s hand, and he pulled them back.

“Hey! Okay yeah, maybe we’re dead...” Reggie cleared his throat and looked around. Nothing but them and the endless nothing. It would've been peaceful if not for the knowledge of their deaths.

Oh man. Oh God. This sucks. Luke’s mind raced and he closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath, or what felt like a breath. Could ghosts breath? Probably not.

What about his parents? Or his friends? What about Bobby? What would happen to them?  

“Luke! Alex is crying!” Reggie called out, pulling Luke from his thought. “What?” He asked as he turned, sure enough to find Alex still on the ground, roughly wiping his face with his shirt. “You okay?” He murmured, and Alex show him a look that could've killed if they weren’t already dead. There was too much panicking going on his brain to allow him to stand up, so he stayed seated.

“No! Luke! I’m not okay... we’re dead!” Alex grumbled, and Reggie brought his head back in surprise. He’d never heard any of the boy's yell at one of the others like that. Eternal nothingness was gonna suck, he could already feel it.

“You guys think we’re in hell?” Reggie interrupted them, attempting to alleviate the situation. The one thing he’d learned in all the years of dealing with his parents was comedy, when he would entertain his little brother Quinn as the fights and the yelling scaled the walls and crept into Reggie's 2nd floor bedroom. But they’d hide under the covers, occasionally joined by his older brother, Karson, and laugh and tell stories and attempt to ease the 10-year-olds nerves.

“It’s definitely not hell Reg-” “Yeah, my parents always said Hell was like... fire and brimstone...” Alex’s lip trembled as he tried to hold back more tears.

“Well, your parents are a-” “Okay!” Reggie cut Luke off before he said something he’d later regret, “maybe it’s not hell. How long we been here anyway?” “Like a half hour dude, chill out.”

Reggie snapped his fingers, “Maybe it’s a waiting room! Like we’re not dead yet! Limbo!” Reggie spent a lot of time reading theories about what happened after death while they were alive, and Alex was sure they’d be hearing about it for however long they’d be together. He loved his boys but damn, they could be annoying. He was just trying to cry in peace.

“Reggie-” Luke turned abruptly. Deep down, he knew Reggie was just trying to help, but now really wasn’t a good time.

Deep down, they were all just scared teenagers. Luke had never wanted to go home so much. He wanted to run to his mom and hold her and apologize for running out on her. He wanted to grab ahold and not let go, like a child on the first day of kindergarten, clinging to his mom's ankles and begging to stay with him for a little while longer. God knows what would happen to them. How would they react? Their only son killed by a hot dog of everything.  

Reggie couldn’t stop thinking about his brothers, and how hard it would be for Quinn now. Mom and dad were on the brink of splitting, and whatever happened after this was certainly going to make or break their marriage. Karson was in his Sophomore year of college in New York, which left Quinn on his own. Secretly, Reggie had wished his parents spilt before Quinn was old enough to remember the fighting, then he’d be okay with two houses and being on his own sometimes. He’d never been without one of his brothers during a fight before, and he’d probably crawl under the covers and wait for Reggie to come save him from the screams. But Reggie wouldn’t be there to this time.

And Alex, who hadn’t said all that much since Reggie woke up, sniffled to himself and twisted the bracelet on his wrist around in circles. After everything went down at home when he came out, he’d stopped talking to his parents much. They’d put up with the incessant banging of drums, and him skipping out on church. Alex put up with the “Eleanor from church has a daughter you’d like” and the quiet yet deafening whispers he’d catch from his parents before he walked in the room. Even now, they were still his parents and the instinct to reach out for reassurance was overwhelming.

“I’m sorry you guys...” Luke turned, tears welled in his eyes, but he wouldn’t let his friends see them fall. “I- I fucked up.”

“It’s not your fault Luke-” Reggie brought in a shaky, “We’ve eaten there so many times. How were you supposed to know it’d kill us this time around.” Again, Reggie tried to lighten the mood, a stark irony while in this empty, dark void.

Alex broke down again, he was an ugly crier. Luke reached out and awkwardly patted his head, yet it did nothing to soothe him.  

Take Off

Last Stop

Count down ‘till we blast open the top

A familiar tune played faintly, drawing their attention. “Is that-” “Our song! Guys I told you we weren’t dead!” Reggie pumped his fists as Alex finally pushed himself to his feet.

“okay...”

Luke gripped at his chest. It felt like a vacuum had attached itself to him and was trying to suck out his spectral internal organs. “Dude? You okay?” Alex attempted to ask, but he soon found himself doubled over in the same pain. Reggie too.

Then, just like that, Luke was gone, and a very distant, and familiar, scream could be heard. Alex too, and then Reggie, all three sucked into, well, wherever. 

It took a moment for Luke’s eyes to readjust to light as he stared up at the ceiling and gripped his side.  

“Woah, how’d we get back here.”

[useful-wasting-of-ink]

Life Before Death

Part 1 - Reggie

Find “Part 2 - Alex” Here

Find “Part 3 - Luke” Here

“The last two years of Luke, Reggie, and Alex's life as told through their trauma and their support of one another.”

TRIGGER WARNING: child abuse, hitting, alocoholism, cursing, let me know if anything else needs to be mentioned

Reggie’s fingers strummed the chords harder and harder as the yelling got louder and louder. He knew pretty soon his parents would come barging in to yell at him, but at least for now, he didn’t have to listen to them. He could never figure out what the fights were about, it started with Reggie’s grades and now it was about the food always being cold because his dad always came home late from work. 

His dad had come home reeking of alcohol again, which wasn’t new but it had been a few days. He had slammed Reggie’s report card down on the dining room table, and that argument lasted an hour before Reggie was finally allowed to leave the room. 

It’s not that Reggie wasn’t smart, because he was an incredibly intelligent person, he just couldn’t pay attention or concentrate. He tried, but he could never sit still for longer than five minutes at a time, which resulted in a lot of detention, and a lot of letters home, and a lot of yelling. 

The words swam on the page in front of him, and every paper he handed in was marked down for spelling. It’s not that he wasn’t trying, because he was, and he understood the content if someone sat down with him and was patient enough to explain it in a way that made sense to him. That person tended to be Alex, occasionally Luke. 

Reggie could still hear the yelling over his strumming, he couldn’t completely make out the words, but he definitely heard his name, which meant the argument had become about him again. His parents fought constantly, about every little thing that happened. And he couldn’t help but blame himself. 

When he first met Alex and Luke, he never let them over to his house, it was off-limits, the only reason they knew where he lived at all was because Alex lived two streets over. They were only ten at the time, and Reggie thought it was normal for parents to fight like his did. But he still wouldn’t let his friends come over, he just didn’t like it.

Eventually, he let them come over, but only when his parents weren’t home, or it was just his mom. It never became a habitual thing for them to come over, and his parent’s never fought when they had company. 

As they got older, and they began confiding in each other more, the boys realized how bad Reggie’s home situation was. They had never witnessed a fight, though. His parent’s acted like saints when either of them came over to study or just hang out in Reggie’s room.

One day, though, Alex came to pick Reggie up for rehearsal during a fight. Reggie was sitting on the couch staring at the wall opposite him listening to his parents yell over each other trying to voice their disappointment at his grades. 

They all jumped when they heard the doorbell ring, but it was Reggie who got up and opened the door to an anxious-looking Alex. 

“We uh… We have rehearsal…”

Reggie looked startled as he realized what day it was, turning back to stare at his parents. 

His dad just waved his hand, “Whatever, don’t come crying to me when you have to work at McDonald's!”

Reggie’s mom shook her head, heading into the kitchen. Reggie turned back around and grabbed his bass that was sitting by the front door.

“Lets go, please,” he mumbled, “and can we please not talk about this?”

They did end up talking about it, but not until after rehearsal when Alex could tell that Reggie was doing better. Luke found out that same day because he could see the tear stains on Reggie’s cheeks and wouldn’t stop worrying. 

It was two months later when Reggie didn’t show up to rehearsal. He had never not shown up before. He’d been late a few times but never gone completely. 

He had begun coming on his own after his aunt bought him a bike, so Alex hadn’t gone to pick him up. Bobby had long since gone home, telling them he had a lot of homework. 

Alex was pacing back and forth, and Luke was bouncing his leg as he sat on the small couch. 

“He’s okay, right? I mean, he probably just fell asleep, he was pretty tired at school today,” Luke was mumbling, so it was a miracle Alex heard him at all.

Alex ran a hand through his hair, though it just fell right back into his face, “Yeah… He’s probably fine.” 

Neither of them believed that he was fine. 

“It can’t hurt to go check on him, though. I mean… He’d do the same for us?” 

Luke nodded, “Yeah, maybe that would be a good idea.” 

It took them both a minute to grab their stuff, but once they did it only took them five minutes to drive to Reggie’s house. The drive was the longest five minutes of either of their lives, neither of them said a word the entire time. 

Reggie was laying on the floor of his bedroom, he had stopped crying half an hour ago, but it was still very clear that he had been. A bruise had begun to form right below his left eye, and he was pretty sure he had a broken rib or two. 

His dad had come home reeking of alcohol again, but his mom wasn’t there to lessen the blows. Reggie had been practicing in his room, his dad had decided that he was tired of the sound, and… Reggie couldn’t really tell you what happened after that. It happened too fast. 

He knew he was in bad shape, and he knew that his father had thrown his bass across the room, and he heard a crash that he really didn’t like, but he couldn’t bring himself to look.

After that he heard the door slam again, so he knew his father had gone out again. But it didn’t matter, he’d be back. 

This wasn’t the first time his father had hit him, it wasn’t exactly uncommon. He’d always feel bad and apologize, and promise he’d never drink again, blah blah blah… But it never lasted long. Two weeks at the most. And the fights didn’t stop when he was sober, they just weren’t as loud.

He heard the doorbell ring, but he didn’t care. Whoever it was would probably just go away. He lifted his hand to his face, wincing at the pain. 

The doorbell rang again, and again a minute later. Reggie pulled himself into a sitting position, before finally getting up. 

“Hold your fucking horses,” he yelled, wincing at the pain of walking. He was past the point of caring who was behind the door, he was in too much pain to give it another thought. 

Luke and Alex breathed out a sigh of relief when they heard Reggie’s voice, but were still worried at how angry and hurt he sounded. His voice had been strained, and more rough than usual. 

No one knew what to do when the door opened. Reggie stared at his two friends, holding his side. Alex had his mouth slightly open in shock, and Luke just looked angry. 

“Why are you here?” Reggie asked, his voice strained. 

“We came to check up on you. You missed rehearsal,” Alex had been the one to respond, though it had taken him a couple of seconds to find his words. 

Reggie stared for another moment, before gesturing inside. He couldn’t keep standing. 

Alex closed the door behind them, and Reggie led them to his room. 

“Reggie… What happened?” Luke finally spoke up, helping Reggie lay down. 

Reggie didn’t say anything, instead, he was staring at something across the room. 

His bass was lying next to the wall, next to a shattered lamp that had fallen off his dresser. 

“He threw it across the room... “ he mumbled, “I heard it crash, but I was in too much pain to look…” 

Luke looked confused before following Reggie’s gaze, a horrified look crossing his face, before one of anger replaced it yet again. Reggie had saved his money for two years when he was 14 to buy that bass, and now the stem was mangled where it had hit the wall.

“My dad… I guess he got tired of the noise. Decided he’d had enough of it? I don’t know… I just know that I can’t afford to buy another…” 

“Reggie, you can borrow mine until we can get you a replacement,” Alex offered, “I never use it anyway.” 

Reggie nodded tearfully, “he got tired of the noise,” he finally admitted, “I guess he just decided that enough was enough? I can’t remember, really. I just know my face stings,” he left out the part where his ribs ached worse than anything, but he knew the boys could probably tell, it was obvious his face wasn’t the only part of him that was hurting. 

“Reg, I want you to come stay with me for a few days, yeah?”

“My dad’ll just get mad at me, and I don’t wanna intrude on your parents, Luke.” 

“My parents love you! Besides, it’ll be fun, we can play some video games, movie night, whatever.”

After a minute, Reggie nodded, he really didn’t want to stay at his house, and his parents were gonna fight either way, so he might as well leave for a few days.

Reggie stayed with Luke for about a week. It was hard for him to get out of bed for a few days, but luckily they were on a short break from school, so there was no reason to make excuses for absences. Alex came over everyday, which was a normal occurrence. The three of them often hung out outside of school, so it wasn’t weird that all three were together every day that week. 

Alex brought his bass to the garage the next time they were all there, “my aunt gave it to me like three years ago, I never use it, and it just takes up space in my room, so you can have it if you want,” and that was the end of the conversation. 

The three of them never brought it up to Bobby, the only explanation for the new instrument was that Reggie got a new one. Bobby was their friend, but he wasn’t as close to the three of them as they were with each other. They’d been friends for years, they had only known Bobby a little over two years, and didn’t really become friends until less than a year ago. 

It just wasn’t the same. They all hung out together, laughed and joked together, trusted each other. But it was different. The trust was different. The jokes were different. Alex knew he could trust Luke and Reggie, Reggie knew he could trust Alex and Luke, and Luke knew he could trust Alex and Reggie. All three knew they could trust Bobby, but not with everything.

[dirt-cup-draco]

Hermione x F!Reader - I Wish

hi!! may i request a hermione x female reader where it’s the trope of friends to enemies to lovers?

Your heart was stopped as you watched Hermione twirl in her dress for the Yule Ball. She was gorgeous. She had tamed her hair for the occassion but you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers through the unruly threads and set her free from the confines of the clips and product. She was stunning like this, but you knew she was wild at heart. 

“You look amazing ‘Mione!” You nearly drooled, hoping she didn’t notice. 

“Aw, thank you!” She giggled back. “I’m more excited than I thought I would be, it’s a foolish dance but sometimes foolish things are needed.” She reasoned with herself as she smoothed her skirts down. Hermione was nervous, you realized. Her hands didn’t stop moving even if the rest of her looked composed. 

You took a step forward, grabbing one of her hands, unsurprising to find it was clammy. “You look great, Krum is going to be speechless, you have nothing to worry about,” You soothed her, jealous biting at you and making your stomach turn uncomfortably. 

“I hope so,” She sighed, squeezing your hand in a friendly manor before turning on her polished heel and swaying her way out of your shared dorm. It was a curse and a blessing. You got to spend every day with your best friend, but you had to keep your distance. You couldn’t be with her in the way you wanted. 

“Y/N, Harry is waiting,” Hermione called behind her and you sighed, stepping out of the room without even checking your appearance. You had gotten dressed up of course, it would be a sin not to. You loved your dress but your heart wasn’t in it tonight. You were lucky Harry hadn’t gotten a date and had instead asked you. He knew how you felt about Hermione.

You walked down the stairs, pushing past Hermione without another look. You might start crying if you did. The boys stared behind you with wide eyes and you were positive if you were to turn around she would be floating down the staircase, looking ethereal. 

“Lets go,” You muttered, grabbing Harry’s arm with the grace of an elephant on roller-blades as you dragged him into the winter wonderland decorated great hall. 

“You alright?” He asked as you slumped into a chair at a table that was tucked far into the corner. 

“Just peachy,” 

“You could tell her, you know,” 

You shook your head violently, eyes wide, staring at Harry like he was crazy for suggesting such a thing. You’d be less surprised if he had told you he was going to go fight Voldemort while riding a dragon right this moment. 

“Just drop it, please,” You begged and he finally sighed heavily, rolling his eyes but shutting up. Drama queen. You thought with a smile. “Want to dance?” You offered as a way to make up for snapping at him. 

“No,” He said but got up, offering his arm to you as you stumbled across the dance floor. You tried not to look at Hermione. It was too much, you couldn’t handle being around her most of the time now. Every time you were one nagging voice in your head told you to go for it, tell her. The other voice told you she would hate you if she knew you felt that way about her. You kept quiet. 

The rest of the night passed in a blur and it wasn’t until much later when you noticed her, red faced, storming up the stairs that you realized maybe she wasn’t having a fairy tale night either. 

“Everything going okay?” You asked hesitantly as you entered your dorm, hearing her sniffling. She was sat on her bed, a tissue pressed daintily to her eyes as she tried to keep her composure. 

“Not really.” She said honestly. “Ronald was being an absolute tosser,” 

You chuckled and sat beside her. “When isn’t he?” You joked back and she shook her head but her lips quirked up in a smile. 

“Um.. Could we talk?” 

“I’ve done plenty of that today, but sure,” She sighed and you immediately felt sick. 

“I- “ love you so much it hurts. I want to be with you. I want to call you mine and run my fingers through your hair and kiss your nose and rosy lips. I want to cuddle with you in front of the fire and hold your hand when we walk to class. “think we should stop being friends” What the fuck.

“Y/N?” Hermione croaked, eyes searching yours as she was taken aback by your words. “You’re joking right?” She already had been so torn up before you had come in and here you were making her night worse. 

But you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t stand loving her from a distance anymore but you couldn’t tell her how you felt, you couldn’t handle it and so you were going to run away and burn some bridges.

“I wish- I wish we’d never met, quite honestly,” You added, voice nearly getting stuck in your throat as she went pale and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Why are you saying this?” 

“B-because I don’t like you,” I love you. I’m sorry. 

After that, you had switched dorms with some other Gryffindor who didn’t care enough about why you were asking and just decided she wouldn’t hate the change of scenery. You sat at the opposite end of the table during meals and you tried to pretend the first week you couldn’t feel Ron and Harry staring at you in disbelief while Hermione pretended you didn’t exist.

“Nice going,” Harry commented one day in class while you stood over a cauldron together. “Now none of us can hang out, we even mention you and ‘Mione goes into hysterics... She’s a wreck Y/N, you know she won’t show it but she needs you. Of all the things you could have said or done, why that? I thought Gryffindors were brave... You’re just a coward,” 

---

By the time the tournament was over and Cedric was being mourned, you had completely detached from your classmates. Ron, Harry and Hermione were once again the perfect trio and you were lonely. You missed her. She hated you. Summer came and you stayed home. You didn’t visit the burrow or have mock quidditch games with Ginny. You avoided answering letters except for sending a happy birthday to Harry. 

When Harry started the DA later that year. You joined, of course you would. You couldn’t let the awkwardness keep you from rebelling against Umbridge and preparing yourself for what was coming. You thought you had been preparing at least. Even as things got worse, you didn’t have the courage to face Hermione and tell her what you really felt. Not until it was too late.

----

She had heard the news from Ron. He had been pale and panicked, already crushed at the news of his brother’s death. And now, he was losing another friend. Hermione needed to know of course, he had gone to her first. Knowing she would be much easier to find than Harry in all this mess. Hermione had been talking to Luna, hearts heavy but looking up as the end was coming. The momentary hope and joy she had felt however had been smashed when Ron ran to her, gasping for air. “It’s Y/N, she won’t make it much longer. S-she asked for you.” 

Hermione Granger had never run faster in her life. Even with the tension between you two, she couldn’t imagine a world without you. And now that she was faced with that possibility, she needed to see you. You were placed where all the injured and all the deceased were. A bloody sheet placed over you as your eyes were shut against your ashen face. 

“Y/N,” She gasped, falling to her knees beside you not even caring as the rough stone beneath her scraped and burned her legs. She was grabbing your hand and tugging it to her chest, to her heartbeat. Maybe if you felt it yours would be convinced to beat stronger. 

“Am I dead?” You questioned, voice no more than a whisper. 

Hermione chuckled and brushed your hair from your eyes as your visage blurred with oncoming tears. “No silly, no you are going to be alright just hold on okay?” 

“I must be dead, Hermione wouldn’t talk to me even if it meant she got an Outstanding on all her exams,” You let out a dry chuckle but it just turned into a wheeze as you erupted into a coughing fit. 

“Shh, relax, please...” Hermione begged, hating how your lips were startlingly more pale, she was sick to realize they were starting to take a bluish hue. Her finger searched your neck and pressed hard against your pulse. Your heartbeat was still noticeable but she had to choke down another wave of tears as she noticed it was slowing. “I’m here, Y/N, its me. Ron told me you asked for me,” Her tears fell on your cheeks and the sensation had you opening your eyes.

“Hermione,” You said with a happy sigh, like you had just realized she was beside you. Your hand flexed in her own and she gripped it tighter, hands smoothing your hair down in an attempt to keep you present. “Merlin, I’m so glad you’re okay,” You spoke again, smiling at her even if it looked more like a grimace as you shifted, something causing you discomfort. Hermione wasn’t sure she could handle knowing what pain you might be in right now.

“I’m fine Y/N, now we have to get you better,” She jumped in, with what she hoped was an optimistic smile. 

“I... I don’t think I’m gonna get better ‘Mione. But I couldn’t go without telling you, Harry is right I’m a coward,” You muttered. 

“Please, don’t talk just rest. Save your strength... You aren’t making any sense,” Her voice was getting panicked and you could feel her tears fall more steadily from her eyes and onto your cheeks. 

“No, I can’t. Please, listen,” You begged, hand reaching up to brush against her cheek, forcing her to look into your eyes and not at the unsteady rise and fall of your chest. “I have had so many regrets, especially when it came to you but I can’t die knowing that I never told you...” 

“You aren’t going to die!” She argued but you continued. 

“I-In fourth year, I said things to you that I hate myself for everyday. I was stupid and scared and I let it tear us apart. I told you I didn’t like you because-” You were cut off by another violent wheeze, lungs grasping for any air they could be filled with as you felt your life start to leave you. “-because Hermione Granger I love you more than anything. It terrified me and I knew you couldn’t feel the same so I ran away and I couldn’t regret it more now, I am so sorry. I will always love you,” 

“Y/N-” Hermione started but with great alarm found that your hand had gone slack in hers, your eyes unblinking up at her. “No, no, no!” She cried, hand pushing at your chest and ear going to your mouth as she waited for your warm breath. It never came. Her tears started up anew and a pained scream ripped its way from her throat as she lay on you. “You can’t leave! Not again,” She wailed as you grew colder with every passing moment. 

“I wish I could have told her I felt the same,” Hermione choked out as Ron and Harry found her, pulling her from your body that was no longer anything more than a shell. Your soul had moved on. “I wish she knew I loved her too,” 

You looked down from above as the brightest witch of her age sobbed into Ron’s chest. You were nothing but a soul floating in the great beyond but if you had a heart it would have ached for her. I know now, and that’s enough. You thought as you gazed at your friends and your love. 

It would take some time, but you wished she would be able to move on. The way Ron’s arms tightened around her, his own eyes puffy and red from loss and tears, you thought she just might be alright.